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Orangeburg news and times. (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1875-1877, July 03, 1875, Image 1

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IS. F. MUCKEiKFUSS, Keiitist
OF CHARLESTON, can be fomul at his
OFFICE above Captain HAMIL
ket Street
RoforonccB?Das. J. P. Patrick, B. A.
MwoKUXFUsa, A. P. Pkl?er, M. 1)., and
MC Sil.3 M. BROWN, t he Barber pledges
Jiimscif to keep up with the limes in all the
"LATE iMPROVEMENTS, as his business is
sufficient, to gurantee tho above. He will
bo found at his bid stand, ever ready lo
serve Iiis customers at the shortest notice.
apl 11 80
Nine Yearl^,
o Ji *
CAN 1)1 KS,
I have on hand also a suply of
Porcriptions carcfuly compounded, orders,
from the country strickly attended to at the"
"Poplar Drug Store of - , . ; '?; ?
DR. A. 0. DUKES,
jan 23 187-1 ' " ly
Horses and Mules
"\Vhere yon will find a COMPLETE stock
of the finest HOUSES ami MULES that can
"he procured from the BEST MARKETS in
?Ii? Ur.itr?! States.
Our prices range from $50 to S'2'25. All
orders tilled at I ho shortest notice.
!f our stock oil hand do not please wo
will order for von tit once.
<jec 18\/ < 874 jjL Um
lite loss or dostruution of: Certificate
of Deposit No. :>'!1. Omngolmrg Branch,
Citizens Savings Hank of-South, Cnroliun,
^ssued to the late E. .1. OHyeroa; de.'Cased,
jind also of Deposit Book No, !?<>, of* same
1'raitch. in the name of tho said- E.? J..Uli?
yerof>, in trust, and that .1 will'apply in
three months from date for a renewal.of the
Mime, Mid tor such dividends as may ucoruo
thereon, to the Trustee and Committee of.
thot-aid Bank, at Columbia,-(B^jC
E. It ?S A C. OblVEHOS,. .
mar fi?1 iitii ."in IJualitied Executrix.
Dental Notice
THE undersigned takes pleasure in an"
nouncing to his many friends and patrons
that he has permanently located at Orange
burg, 0. II., S. C, where he will devote his
entire time, from every Monday till Saturday
noon to tho
lMlACT^l|t)bADb>Nrri6^1Wr- 0
in all its I)cpaiBiBit!w Perfect wttf faction
guaranteed in iru tfpofhtfons cTttrnstetlto Irre
care. Charges very moderate.
Office at Dr Ecraner'* old Blantt over AVill
coek's Store.
For TKitxta apply to
? (.1 YJ S./ll: ^UOLLICIIA'MP, ,
Having secured the AUENCY of the
"City InsuraiiCj Company
/^Hovideoo, ttm I."
v j I j jrjftpiiai, $210,051.
"\Vitli that of participating Companies
Tlio ^Flrcmun'H Fund,'" Capi
tal $500,000.
And the
"Atlantic," of New York.
I am prepared to take . RISKS of anv
h'mouht, dividing them inset-end 1st Cialis
<'()M PAN 1 KS, to whidi I call thu attention
of property holders. > ] : ??? i
Taken on GIN HOUSES, .MILLS ami
Fire Insurance Agent.
A few tons of
AIso a supply of the
?pi 3 IS7") lv
He Careful Wliril You Say.
In speaking of a person's faults,
l'rny don't forgei your own;
Kcmcmhcr, those with homes of glass
Should suhldtii throw a stone;
If wc have'aOthing el.se to do
Itul talk of those who sin,
'Tis better we commence at home,
Ami from that point begin.
Wo have no right to judge a man
p j?iiiiL-he'a fairly -tried; - ?
fehopjfl'iwe noMikiJ lii.Vo^mriniiy, V
AVe" Viiow MC worfd i.sXiidfc';
Some ihiiv have faults?and who have not ?
The old as well as young;
Perhaps we may, for aught wo know,
Have fifty to their one.
I'll tell you of a better plan,
Ami one that works full well;
I try my own defects to cure,
liefore of others' tell;
And though 1 sometimes hope to be
No worse than some I know,
My own shortcomings bid me let
The faults of others go.
h'hjen letjv^l?wlH'?we cni?frieucb
I'll i nk oT Ihc narm one wont may do
To those we little know;
Remember curses, sometimes, like
Our chickens, "roost at home;"
Don't speak of others' faults until
We have none of our own.
-In view of the many thefts com
mitted in our community and also
rcfiseting that the first crop is coming
on and melon vines tiro running
?long. 1 bujvejbceu casting about for
eoiiio means jufprotecting this species
of 'properly particularly?in case it
'Mlfi?a'o'nt'?iaf Iliad any. 1 thought
the matter over, and settled down
that 'the only sure plan was to get i\
good bull, or Ban dog?and got him
in time?whether the trees bore fruit,
or tho vir.es melons oi not?I'd he on
the/'safe ri\le?and get a Ban dog?
I didn't think there was any difficulty
lierc in buying .such a pcicc of fuhi
ture; but on looking around and mak
ing dilig6nt inquiry j I find to my
surprise there arc but two in Town.
Uncl owned by friend "Mat,'' which
would be perfectly useless to nie, be
cause he is ;\ foreign dog, and his bark
m im?T i'^rhi\m* 1,1 i\?vor "'it'i^'
stood?then' he hasn't a .show of a ?ail
to .wag. The other belongs to George,
and 1 heliyc his com in u n icti tiohs are
' ca'rri'J.d on in the samo language, be
sides; which-he has an entirely to trass
collar. Yoli can't see the dog for tin
collar?and the brightness of that
"collar "would prevent anything like a
surprise on his part of a thief So 1
thought of Tard." "Paid has a Ban
'dog, as is a Ban (big. Her name is
"Ah Sin.'' Whenever Pa rd is going
where he thinks there's danger and
he wants to save "Ah Sin's. *wiud.?lie
takes her by the tail throws her over
his shoulder and travels serenely to
the scene of conflict. Then ho puts
^hci\^-d<Rvn, and waits 1or .somebody to
tiky woj&al?idgYordsiutetli un. 1 wanted
a pup from "Ah Sin" and wrote to
him. This is what be replied :
Ovun ?nn: Kivrcn.
June 14th 1875.
In your present state of mind I
know it most be as painful for you to
receive as for me to impart the in
telligence .'that ypur "Ban-d^g" is stiil
wmaV-Wo^ rural 'poet'Would call a
"hope deferred." I had hoped to
luxuriate ere this in the knowledge
that you weae as iortunate as 1 in the
possession of ono ofthc.se' inestimable
treasures, but I am no Jacob to
hasten on the natural event among
the animal kingdom, and "Ah Sin"
remains puppy less?and you are left
yet, awhile longer to pine for your
"Ban-dog." You know Paid it has
often been a matter of* -thoughtful
consideration with me .'lljabybu had
not long since fathoihed life merits'of
a genuine, out-and-out Ban-dog. A
Ban-dog is altogether unlike the dog
of Jim 1:1 anics Uncle Lent, (see
"Roughing it ') and mm securely lie
depended on to carry out a special
.providence. A properly trained I>a;i
'ddg can do more, to com fort a man
who has enemies,- than most any other
ngciicy you tire a mind to name.
"Dont talk to me 'bout accidents"
said Jim Blainc, "there aint no stich
things its accidents, l'rovidonccdticl
lire no blank calridgos boys. ICvery
thiiig that's seen, and aint understood
aint an accident." Ono,.Jim lilainc !
Your head's lev* I; there, aint anything
like accident about a llan-d?g !
If tiicrea nnytfiun* in'nature that
can. he called a surething, a Ban dog
fills the hill in my judgment.
You seo, a Ban-dog niiit a (hing that
you've got to load, and prime, and
keep groused and wiped out con
tinually. A Ban-dog is all of that
already, and all tho time, and jest
awatching and awaiting for the sign
to tajlc holt. You ain't called on to
wait till somebody knocks you first,
out of respect for the law?and you
ain't obliged to bollur out, "'lake Huh
(or her, its t'ac case may he,) Tige
"when your feelins gets hurt. All
youye got to do is jus, to wait until
you catch that Ban-dog's cyo (and if
you are in tho habit of telling him to
lay hohl of things, ynu never litt! ve to
wait long at a time) and when you
catch, his eye tho next place you lo k,
lib Will look too, and if there is any
iiv'c thing a-occupying that spot, that
Ban-dog is going to ma?e for il as
sure as fate, and if you don't say
''Conic hack," quick, there'll he a
Ban-dog' and some other animal, two
legged or four, mixed in mortal broil
quicker than a cat . can wink) or a
carpetbagger cheat a nigger. The
beauty of a Ban-dog h that he's got
no sense o.'" accountability, lie's got
no moral sense. He's <rot no sense.
He jest as soon bite contrary \yiniincn
or bad children as a bi<c man or a !
If you've got a enemy?it don't!
make no cliflere'nee ic/io?and you
signify that met to your pet Ban-dog.
that enemy becomes A/a enemy, and
bo is all tlio time nwailin'ami ahopin'
lor the so/u. Some dogs will hite men,
but they won't bite wiinuu u: .Some
dogs will hite grown nip people, but
they, won't ' hite children, good nor
?0:1.c dogs will hitcsfrange people,
but not them that they know. But
yen/lernen 'tain't so with a Ban-dog.
ji A Biui dog is bottnd^ to_pite jest
whatever you tell him to hite?und-in
my judgment, that is something that
ought to hiake'you look upon him as
a friend in need and a friend indeed
There's wimincu that will ?grivate
and snssyou scandalously ami you've
got no rcmed}?unless you've got a j
Ban-dog. But if you've got a Ban-j
dog you have a good .remedy, for you :
can si'yn that dog to "shct down" and
he'll do it, or die. If its one of the.-;
skeery wimmen that cam take wni n
ning and ".stund from under" when
the finger of fate shows in anything,
and tin1 dog only happens to get his
tcctli full,of dothes; why you can jest
take him , by the hind-legs and pull
him steady, until you can get a prize
betweqn his jaws, and then there'll he
!no harm done, hut a sight of good.
. But if it should happen to be one
o.I these real ]tril(j/t hard?to?dis
:eourago wimmen, that needs regener
ation njvi nothing.shorter?why, when
you see that the Ban-dog ain't got
nothing but clothes in his grinders,
you jest takes him by the hind-legs,
samp as before, aud hi place of pull in'
him back steady, you shove him for
ward- as if he had made a jump-like,
and this is one certain thing about a
Ban-dog?if you pull him hack after
be lays hohl, he jest only shuts his
eyes and falls into acuta lockjaw, but
it yon shove him forward he is .?.uro
to open Ids mouth and lake in more.
(1^., B. , This is a rulo with no ex
ceptions.) Well, when you find that
bo has meat as well as dry goo.I.-, you
brace back and charge around aud
pretend to be doing your level best*to
balk ..Providence, until that strong
minded female falls into the right
frame, of mind, and then you prize
open tho Ban dog's jaws with a wedge
aud lakes him off sure enough
There's no instance .of any wimtuen
rcquirin two doses r.fthis'treatment.
Thorp's j no man that ever owned a
Han-dog, that was ever know tobe
henpecked. A married man that
keeps at Dan-dog- is as free a man (0
eon 10 in lain from the ollioe, or
Masonic Hall as a .-ingle man. Be
eauso pretty soon wives find out that
llan-dog} (if any justice bus boon done
their education) will get more excited
and ihiniaiuigeiblc at bearing seoldin'
and abuse going op, than most any
oilier Illing can make them.
There's ahle pints about a lhui-dog.
"Providence don't lire no blank
catridgcs boys."
"I'ard" thinking to oiler some
valuable suggestions to the down?
trodden, puttipon, and bc'npcckcdjpor
lion of humanity, I scud you the ac
companying dissertation on the linn
Hoping for the best I am yours the
appreciative patron of Ban-dogs.
Uoiiig to the Oculist.
I like to come across a man with
the toothache.*' There s something so
pleasant about advising him to stuff]
cotton in it, to use camphor creosote,
.peppermint and "iclief," that I always
feel better u$er giving it. I have
been there, had an aching snag, ami 1
know just bow it feels. iL used to
wake me up at night ami make me
niad at noon/and set me to swearing
early in the morning. I didn't meet
man or womarrbu'twhat they advised
me. One said that a hot knitting
needle pushed1 down on the root was
excellent; another said that opium
was an excellent thing; and otlicrssaid
that it must be dug out by the dentist.
If I sat down fjo dinner, that old tootli
began to growl. If I went to bed; or
got up, or wentrto a party, or stayed at
home, it growled just-the same. It
wasn't always'a growl. Sometimes it
was a juinptluit made my hair stand
up, aud again- a sort of cutting pain
tlitit made mis makeup faces at the
baby, slam doors and break windows.
I ate cotton,peppermint, camphor and
opium until I got black in the face,
an 1 that old V sang kept, right oil. 1
put bags oTliwashes to my cheek np-;
plied mustard; held my head in the
oven, took a'NWuil,and the ache still
ached. <
After the viird week neighbors
(1 jiilu't,. 'dnfMpI^^lhtujiJiojfo pfimminj
house, and hawk<-rs and book canvass
ers went, round another street. I was
becoming a mcuftgeric, and' at last.I
decided to have my tooth out. I de
cided to, and then 1 decided not to. 1
changed my mind four times in one
after >n, and at bist I went. The
dentist was glad to see me. He said
that if lie could not take the tooth out
without hurting me, he would give me
a million. It got easier as he talked,
and I concluded not to have it pulled.
I started down stairs, but a jump
caught me, und T rushed back. He.
said he would look at it; perhaps it did
not iiced pulling at all, hut he could
kill the nerve. By dint of flattery he
got me in the chair. Then ho softly
inserted a knife and cut away the
gums. 1 looked tip and said I would
kill him, but he begged me not to?
said the cutting was all the 'pain there
was in it. lie finally gut me to lie
j back and open my mouth, and then
I he clipped in his forceps, and closed
j them round tlio tooth.
''Ohsordordonborosoforsor!" I cried.
But he didn't pay any attcn iiou to
[ it. He drew a full breath, grasped
the. forceps tightly, and then he pulled.
Great pooi:.s ! but didn't it serin as if
my head was going! I tried to shout,
grasped at him, kicked and then lie
held up the old snag, and said :
"There, I guess you won't feel any
more aching."
I leaped di ivii and htigged him. 1
promised him ten millions; 1 told him
to make my home his house forever; I
hugged him again. I shook hand with
bvcrybody in the street, kissed my
wile, bought the baby a dozen rattle
boxes in a heap and it seemed to hie
as if the world was too small for me,
1 was so happy.
A m wsphper having printed that
on a certain occasion "there was a
large and respectable meeting," etc.',
the reporter was called to account for
the statement, there having been only
one lithor person hfeidos himself pre
sent. I tut he insisted thai, his report
was literally true; "for," said he; "1
j was large and the other man was
I respectable."
I In Hol ( loud circles a raise in
I ;chips is confidently expected; is the
way the Philadelphia &t<n- renders
it. i ?
A Spoiling Story.
Apropos to the .spelling mania which
lias suddenly seized the people,of
Kichniond i.sjin anecdote of the. elder
G?v. fyior, whoso portrait now Jiangs
in tlie gallei y of the .state library. It
seems that niien Judge (chancery
judge, I think,) he visitod, according
to custom, Chesterfield court, and
while roaming about tho court greeu,
oncounterud the Commonwealth's at
torney, who at once commenced to be
moan the had spelling of the county
magistrates, winding up with, 'I bet
you, Judge, a bowl of toddy for dinner
that the first ono we niecVonift spell
court." The Judge look the bet, and
fortunately a magistrate soon put ih:
an appearance, whi n the Judge, in a
bland way, informed him of it, re
marking, however; that tho Common
wealth's attorney would hot have
risked the toddy had he supposed the
magistrate in question would be the
first encountered. 'Nevertheless,' said
In?, 'squire, yd? spell cnurt and I win'.''
*G?' said the 'squire 'right,' said the
judge; 'O?'said the 'squire; 'right
agaiii,J said the judge; 'U?' said the
'squire; 'all rLht,' said the judge;
'Ii?'said the V'ipiire;'good,'said the
judge; 'T?' said the 'squire, 'Hurrah,*'
said the judge;''! knew I would win;'
at the same time giving the 'squire an
?aflectidnatc nudge in the stomach".
'10,' said the 'squire. 'You be dam
ned,'said the judge, and lost. Rich
mond letter to the Danville News.
A yellow cat hail been nlnking hi?
home in tlie Methodist Church at
Austin. Last KuTidriy he took a posi
tion on the big pedal bass of the
church -organ. . He was enjoying a
comfortable nap when the services
opened, and when t'. e organist catue
down on the pedal' bass; that cat went,
up info the body of tho church like a
rocket, lie lit lUjfc^edmck^l^ftfttf
- -t .?t-44+c>\^rrtT*-#rf -rn?"W'fffrWr^^^TrTniU
an unearthly yell, humped herself
proceeded to. claw the studin' out of
an adjacent waterfall.- With frantic
recklessness the lady; thinking no
doubt the devil was after her, turned
a complete summersault out of the
pew and landed on the other side, of
the aisle. A general stampede was
only prevented by the escape of the
cat out of a door near tho pulpit.?
iVtvaila Kiiterpritc. y
A MiSTAKK.?A gentleman from
Kentucky assures us of the truth of
the following incident, which occurred
in his state, sind which is ra'.her hard
on the new, fashioned iiyht dress: A
young lady tried to sit down in the
street car, but was pinned back so
tight she couldn't. An old lady
peeped over her specs and asked her,
'How long have you been ulllicted
that way?' The young.lady blushed
and made 'a break,' sitting down side
ways, and holding her knees together
so tight that she looked as if she had
on a one-logged pair of breeches. The
old lady noticed her sitting iu this
sidewiso, cramped position, ami wbis
pcrcd, 'llile, I spotc; I've had 'out thttr
"Mhjhty Onsautin."?On the fer
ry boat crossing the Mississippi, re-!
cently, were an old couple from j
Louisiana, coming to visit his friends
ill Yiekshurg. Tho old gentleman
was walking around, despite his wife's
predictions that something would hap
pen to him, and he suddenly found
himself iu the river. She heard his
yell and caught fight riff him, and
leaning over the rail shoihhouted:
'Them, Samuel, didn't 1 tell you so?
Now, then, work your legs, Hup your
arms, hold your breath and repeat tho
Lord's 1'ray er, for its mighty onsar
tin, Samuel, whether you'll land iu
Yiek biirg or eternity.' Ho landed
at the former.
Wh> ? - . ? ii -
A found parent who bought, a cow
for his slimmer residence iu anticipa
tion of (he delight, that tlA> pruduo(.
would cause his little daughter, was
somewhat chagrined when Alias Pert,
looking upon a pan of nectar, ex
I claimed: Oh, tho horrid yellow
?cum. It. isn't half so good as the
nice blue milk we get in Boston.'
li'icciru to MiKis a liAM'vWrEB
jfriAN WjafV'HAi?!^.?A? sdo'ti ruTiuo
hog is cold enough to bo cut up take
the tw*>Intni.s, und ent out!tho round *
bone, ao us to have the luim no't too
thiek, rub well with Common nalf^ an<i1>w'
leave them in a largo pan for threeT
days. When tho > salt hai drawn out'^ '
all the blood throwUho btino away : "<
and proceed as follows: IIuvo two '
hams of nbuut eighteen pounds each",'
tako oho pound of moist sugar; oiuJ
pound of eonimoh anU, twa o?nea? ftf
saltpetre, tbeu put them in a vessel '1
large -enough to- twnttun then* in'the';
liquoi,, remembering alwaysitdkeepp. >
ths salt over them, nftcf they Imhv? ;tr
bUj.'ii in this state three days, thr.iwover q
them, a bottle of best viiwgar.; pnp)
mouth: is ; requisite for the cure, of.,, j
tlictn. Spring that period t\\cj inuittY...,
be turned often in the brine.|j Wbcn,,^,
von take them out, drain them well.
J i . ><>t>. \. r uf
pt wdur them with some coarse uotir^
and hang them in a dry place., Tdie.
same brine can serve again, observing j
that you mu??t not put so much salt on
the next hams that you pickle. This
?method1 has b'cen tried, and pri*-"1
noil need' far 'b? tier (ha.I tlmU |tiio"|'|
LlUKUAl. Thums.?An aueiunt dar-:;t
key, leaned over a Clay. ;.street.gate! ?
yesterday, and Called to the dusky;T
proprietor of a cabin : -.i\\
\Seu bar, Henry, isn't you 'j'O^t
Tt'dy to pay me dat two bits?' ?. ( ,jy
'Haven't uufiiu; tn pay widy w?*,
the reply. . .
'Why, you borrowed dat n\pncy:a;,
whole year ago, Henry!'. epntiiuted tbo);.
old man, >.- ?
' 'Can't help dat?can't pay it!'
'Henry, I blevca yon donYt'Xvant'to
pay; I blcves joiiis* dls!ioti^i;t}'antlIT
shan't nebber nx'fbf'de^nuny a^ain;1'
I'll leave de Lord tocpllebtitf;: t: . ' " }
'Shoo !' exclaimed' Henry, tgreatly;'
I interested nil nt iphcej'ybu Ii?iii'iany1'
Tnrbr^' inHfnny^u^ ?
haz ye?'?Vicktltttry Jferaltf. '-' ' " ; !"
. -;?ff ,; .. ' - !?n:
Tin: Pinch.?A colored dnrue en?,i
countered ? policeman, yesterday-,.
and halting him, she inquired;
''Spose'u dat a puuson spits i,*
anoder pusson's face, is dnt anything?!-.'
'Well, no,' replied tho offieer.
'Wall, 'upose'n dat puason whose
face was spit into should take dc pok
er and drop da pusion.who. done.de
spitting, and cut'a Ipg gash in dat
pussou's head, would ' dat be any-'
, . m;|J u .nil nil .'O.J to fJl'-i iXi'i
?That wouhl bo a. serious caaef,'ina
dnni. Did any one strike you with a
'Dai's whar de pinch comes in. Im
l de one who dune de hitting !' she ex
claimed; lifting her hand* in amaze
ment und horror.
Raid one man to another...'If it',
wasn't Sunday, how much would yon.!
tako for that lumberf\ 'If it wasn't
Sunday, I'd toil you,' was the verjr.
proper reply.
Kantus teaohor?'Wboro dooa all'
of onr grain product go lo T Uoy-^?
'It goes into the h?pp*r;' 'Hopper I
What li^pper *' Grawhopper!' trW
umpbantly shouted the lad, \
A Louisville vinn complained of
marble tableelolh? at one? of the
restaurants. Ho said he didn't like
to wipe his mouth with a tombstone in
the absence of a napkin.
They have got so now that tliqy
blow up whales with torpedoes, and it
won't ho long before the women will
get hold of the invention and scatter
an intoxicated husband all over tho,
ceil tng.'
The Graphic is authority for t^he
statement that during the*war Gen.
Tracy charged at the head of* his
column on many a bloody field, and
after the battle has often been seen
silting under a tree, combing the can
non halls onto! his hair.
'Are the young ladies of the pres
ent day lit for wives?' n>ked a lectu
rer of his an lionco : , p
'They arc fit for husbands,' respond
ed a fema e voice; 'hut the trouble is>
you men are not fit for wives V The
applause was great, and so was tho
discomfiture of* the lecturer.

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