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ATTOKSETS AT LAW-
tin Ai rTvnFR VI Attnniej-at-Law and Solicitor in Cbanwy, Offic : Wbittbnrne Block. Columbia, Tennrswe. Jin j. 18 ly ADDISON COOPER, ATTOKN EY-AT-L AW. Columbia. Tennesa. villl attend all rvirt to be holJi-u fur Maury and Office: Over I'ostoflice. feb.6-74 r HERA A. II. ISKOWX, Jr., A1TOKXEY-AT-HW. Prompt attention given to tlie collection of plaiina AND MAIL. 1 1 IIX & FIGURES, AX .... w. t. wiBsru. Attorney a-at-Law, and Solicitors in Chancery Will practice in tke couru of Maury and adjoin. Office in the Whitthorne BInek. mhl5-7 JT. L. COCmtAV. . ATr3K.VEY-AT-I.AW, And Oeueral Collecting Agent, Columbia, Tennessee. JOBS V. WBIOHI. rKiGnr a websteu. ATTOBNtlS-AT-LAW. Columbia, Tennessee. H. TIMMONS. ATTORXET-AT-LAW, Columbia, Tenne&tea. special attention Riven to all busineea entrnsted iu aim. mh2-ly CHARLES CLEAR. ATTORNEY-AT-LAW. Columbia. Tpdhamm Special attention Riven to the collection of claims. By HORSLEY BEOS. & FIGUERS. COLUMBIA, TENNESSEE, FRIDAY, JUNE 12, 1S74. VOL. XTX., NO. 46. "Vr M. EDWARDS, IV ATTOKNEY-AT-LAW, Dallas, Texas. v in practice m the courts of Dallaa and the ad- joining counties. SSAJ1CELS, Jr., . Attorney at Law and Solicitor in Equity. . . Columbia, Tenn. um-e -titti L. I). Myers, Esq. H rict attention toallieKl business R iaranteed to those who ea- uy jiNic in ma nre .M.iy ao, 1S73. ly Ki:it r i k v, ti Alll.KM-l AT I.VW, and Solieitor in fl.aneery, CluiuMa, Tenn. jroi'ifi aiieuiion Kiveu to alt legal tlMHluess n- trnstea to his care, in Maury and adjoining coun TTim-iauy 10 coueri 111. Office Whitthorne llliajk, up stairs. IIOTKL.. IXK)KING T3A.C1C. I may live long, but some old days Of dear, deep joy akin to pain Some suns that set on wood-land ways Will never rise for me again : By shining sea, and glad, green shore That frolic waves ran home to kiss. Some words I beard that neverraora Will thrill me. with their mystic bliss. 0 love : still throbs your living heart Yon have not crossed death's sullen tide. A deeper deep holdi us apart : We were more near if you bad died If yon had died in those old days. When light was on the shining sea. And all the fragrant wood-laud ways Were paths of hoj for you and me. Df al leaves are in those wood-lsnd ways Cold are tue lips fiat nsed to kiss: Twere irtle to recall those days. Or s ph for all that vanished bliss ! Do yon sti I wear your old-time grace, And charm new loves with ancient wiles. Could I but watch your faithless face, ld know the meaning of your sm Us. church, having in them an official and proper loudguiiiun ot mm uoay. Resolved, moreover. That if this tlistin gumhed commission were fully clothed with authority to treat with us for union it is the judgment or thin conference that the true in terestH of the church of Christ remiire anr demand the maintenance of our eenarata and -a-.; . uiMiuci organization. Unsolved, That we tender to the Tlnv JJisliop S. Janes aud the Rev. W. L. Harris D. D., the members of the commission now with us, our hich retards as brethren belnvHil in the Lord, and express our desire that th day may soon come when proner Christian sentiments and fraternal relations between the two great branches of northern and south ern Methodism shall be permanently eslah- uriiea. GUEST CHURCH FRATERNIZATION. The Southern .Methodists to their Breth ren ot the ort h. The committee to whom was referred the matter of fraternal greetings, con veyed to this general conference bv tha delegates duly commissioned from the general conference of the Methodist. Episcopal church, respectfully report IT" . 1 i T . 1 . - - t e nave considered ine action ot the South .Main Mi-ret, COHMI'IA TENNESSEE J:..ar,l, $J per Day. Cnrri.i:-s, bnirii-s or i-mM' horses fnrnishod OB ai'i-lii nti- ti to the jt'-i rieii.r, JAMKS L. GCEaX. rolunibi.1, .Ian. 1. l-"7ri. TTOTTQT?1 f nral. conference of that church, at Method JLJLKJ U OHj. its session m Brooklyn, New York, in porate irn .. ... May, 1872, and which is partly incorpo- onMa T NELSON HOUSE, WALK Ell A LIPSCOMB, Proprietors, COLUMWA TENXERBfiK. This well known house is cniergoin thorongb repair ami nrwiy lilrilisiieil, ana IS now open ror th accommodation of the public Kenerallv. Our tables shall be furnished at ill times with the nest the country will anonl. Servanls polite and attmtivo, and every attention will be given to make our hous& inferior to none in the S-i-lli. We s. iliett the patronage of the publlo generally. iin-li7-7:)tf Wai.kfr tt IjrsooMii. I-roprletora. MIKCKbhAM'JDl S. C. L. Reynolds, PORTRAIT PAINTER, COLUMBIA, TENX. I'ort raits thrown tip to life size from photograph. Old pirtaits refitted aud cleaned. Stitdio Fleming's new block. Garden street, nearly opposite tho Presbyterian chnrclu Oct. 3. 1873. ly W. 0. Sheppard, SURGEON DENTIST, (' 'l.I'Mlll.V, TKN.N. 7 Offk-e Fleming new bl.H-k, (Jarden stret. nearly opposite tl. rresl.!erian hun h. I ke-p constantly hainl a full sfm-k of tooth til 'ilrls, s..as an. I L.tnois f r the imuitii ami gnins ' all re. .iiiii'.-ii.. .1 by the l int, .! .stales denial assol iHt 1 1 1 . I '.ill alii f. e me. FIRST NATIONAL BANK or ci ii.rn-.i , - i: Oapital, - 100 KX. T. W. Krt. i r, Tiiwl.l l;, ion: i . -ii-: I.. I Ml ! ON. J. ."H-v -'niKl:.-K . 1!. .tTNs. t H. I'm; y A3. Iteives dep,isits, il, a!s ii. ei' ltanci', gold, silver nii-l Colleetmns made and rem tneut at cnrrnt rates n" evehai Itevenue stamii for sale. foreign anii domestic n rinm iit saurittea. te. f r on dav of Dar- JOHN FMEHSON, Prealdeoa. LCC1C3 FUIEltSON, Vlee-Preatdon. Jab. Ii. Cutldrejh. Cashier. WA. SHIRLEY'S Marble Manufactory ANO TOMBSTONES, best I'aliaii Marble. MONUMENTS All of tin; Also. I bavo t'io latest sty lot of IVsigns. C . AH iv. rk a- cheap a ran bo done else where. M:i'iu..ti-'.'i y u:i West Main Htreet, ni'ar t'n- Itis'iuno. tnli2-vl N. J. VAf.iHV. C. N. VACOHT. I AIi(!lli i I AUGHT, SUOt'ESMOHS TO S.,.XOIiTOXA' CO., PF.U.ERS IS ENGLISH AMI AMERICAN HARDWARE, CUTLERY, GUNS, ETC. Having ntoveil to tho southed t corner of Public S nat (house formerly occupied bv J. M. Mayen .V Co., wo are now ready to furnish the people of Maury and adjoining comities every variety of Shelf and Heavy Hardware, V, U T L E It Y, AM) 11F.ST EXCiLISII GUXS, to be fomiil in a first-class house. BUILDERS' HARDWARE, C O M P I. I'. T F. ASSOll I M E X We make a specialty of r. AVERY'S WROUGHT IRON STANDARD STEEL PLOWS. AGENTS FOB lUickeye Iteapern and Mowiug Machines, Swccp-take Thrasher and Separator. Gaar, rVott A Co., Gold Medal machine Deering Horse Engines, and Lane A Bodlev Steam En gines and Saw Miils. and also for the Tennes see Waon, which is warranted and pnaran-K'''J- jati8-lm J. V. lGKL-'-E IH-akr iu all kinds of CHOICE FAMILY GROCERIES, I'UVGOons, KIIOF.3, TOBACCO, LIQCORS, and coc'tkt rnonrcF, Corner Sotrh Main street and F.ngle Avenne. All goods delivered. Oct. 17, 1873. ly rateil in the certificate in the following terma. to-wit : J.o place ourselves in the tmlv friendly relations toward our southern brethren which the sentiments of our people demand, and to prepare the way for the opening of formal fraternity mem, ue ii nereov 'Kes-olved, that this creneral conference will appoint a delegation, consiKtinR of two minis ters, and one layman, to convey our fraternal Kreetinpi to the general conference of the MethodiHt hpntconal church, south, at its next Kimiiiig seHsion. On Friday. May 8. this deleffation. consisiint? ot tlie llsv. Dr. Albert 8. Hunt, the Kev. Dr. Char es IT. Fowler aLd Gen. Clinton B. Fisk, having an nouneed their presence, were formally received and their communications heard by the conference. It is with pleasure that we bear testi mony to the distinguished abilitv and to the eloquent and courteous manner in which thpse christian brethren dis charged their trust. Their utterances warmed our hearts. Their touching al lusions to the common heritae-ft of Methodist history ; to our oneness of ticctnne, polity, and usa;e : and their calling to mind the great work in which we are both engae-ed for the extension of the kingdom of both their Lord and ours, stirred within us precious mem- ones. We are called upon bv the terms of Hie action of their gen eral conference to consider measures necessary to " pre pare the way for the opening of formal fraternity." Every transaction and ut terance of our past history pledges us to regard favorably, and to meet promptly, this initial response to our long expressed des're. It is admissable to review brieflv what has been done or attempted by us in this direction. Our general confer ence in 1846 j Resolved by a rising and unanimous vote. That Dr. Lovick Pierce be, and is herabv el evated to vinit the general conference of the Methodist Episcopal church, to be held in Pittsburg. May 1, 1848, to tender to that bodv t; e christian regards and the fraternal saluta tions of the general conference of the M. E. church, south. In pursuance of this action Dr. Pierce, duly commissioned, was present at the seat of the general conference of tho M. E. church, and by a note courteously advised them of his errand. The an swer of that body was a unanimous vote declaring that ' there are serious questions and difficulties existing b tweeu the two bodies." and that thev do not " consider it proper at present to enter into fraternal relations with the Methodist Episcopal church, south." Had our delegates been received and al lowed a hearing, a more definite under standing might have been obtained of those ' serious questions aud difficul ties," and the result, we think, would have been in the interest of peace. He clostd his letter to the general confer ence, on receiving a copy of its ac'.iou, in tli se words : ''You will, therefore, re ard this communication as final upon the part of the M. E. church, south. She can never renew tho oiler of fraternal relations h. t ween the two great bodies of the Wesleyau Methodists iu the United .States. But the proposition can be re newed at any time, eithrr now or hereaf ter, by the M. E. church, and if ever made up u the basis of the plan of sep aration as adopted by the general con fett nco of 1844, the church south will cordially entertain the proposition." He reported the failure of his mission to our general conference iu St. Louis, in If-50 which, f ereupon adopted the following : P.esolvc-d, That we will steadfastly adhere to the gionnd taken iu tlie last communication of inr iT-leuates to the general conference of the M. E. hnrch in Pittsburg, in May, 1848. to wit : That we can not under their act of re- jc. tio a''d tefnsal renew our offer of frater nal relations and intercourse, but will at all t;mt s entertain any proposition coming from the M. E. church to n, whether it be a writ ten communication or delegation having for its object friendly relations aud predicated on (he rights guaranteed to us by the plan of separation, adopted m New York in 1844. Here the mutter rested until May, lot!, when tho bishops of the M. E eimrcii openeti negotiations with our bishops at their annual meeting in St, Louis, inviting them to "confer" as to the propriety, practicability, and methods of reunion.' Our bishops re spectfully declined to consider that sub ject ; but invited their attention to one having precedence the cultivation of fraternal relations. They suggested also tin lemoval ol causes of strife: and tins was done in a manner and spirit mat n.et tiio iiearty approval of our church. They reaffirmed the position in which Dr. Tierce left the matter, say mtr, the words of our reject ?d dele gates have been ever since and still are our words. One passage of the correspondence we quote. Hie northern bishops in their letter used these words: "That the great cause which led to the separa tion from us of both the Weslevan Methodists of this country and of the M. E. church, south, has passed away." To which the southern bishops replied : " We cannot think yen mean to offend us when you speak of o-ir having sepa rated from you, and put us in the same category with a small body of schis matics who are always an acknowledged secession. Allow us in all kindness, brethren, to remind you and keep the important, fact of history prominent. that we sepirated from vou in no sense in which you did not separate from us. The separation was by compact and mutual ; and nearer approaches to each other can be conducted with hopes of successful issue only on the basis." A deputation visited our general con ference of 1S70, at Memphis, proposing t. (reat with us in the name of the M. E. church on the subject of union. They were received and heard with re spect. Uut it appeared, upon duo in quiry, that they were not commissioned to us by their general conference the only body with which we c.u treat on connectional interests. Neverthless, the general conference referred their com munication to a committee whose re port, unanimously adopted, contained these resolutions : Ilessolveil. That tlie action of onr bishops, in their la-t animal meeting in St. Louis, in rerpiiiine to the nn'ssaue from the bishops of the Mfthodi-t Episcopal church, has the full 'iidoiHenient of this general confeienee, and accurately defines our position in reference to any overtures which may proceed from that Thus stood the case when the distin guished delegates of the Methodist Episcopal church, duly authorized by their general conferenceof 1872, brought us their fraternal greetings. We hail them with pleasure, aud welcome the opportunity, at length offered us, of en tering into negotiations to secure tran quility and fellowship to our alienated communions upon a permanent basis and alike honorable to all. We deem it proper for the attainment of the object sought to guard against all misapprehension. Organic union 16 not involved in fraternity. In our view of the subject, the reasons for the sepa rate existence of these two branches of ism are such as to mako a cor- ion undesirable and impracti cable. The events and experiences of the last thirty years have confirmed u in the conviction that such a consumma tion is demanded by neither reason nor cnarity. We believe that, each church can do its work and fulfill its mission most effectively by maintaining an inde pendent organization. The causes which led to the division in 1844, upon a plan ol separation mutually agreed upon, have not disappeared. Some of them exist in their original form and force. and others have been modified but not diminished. The size of the connection, and the extent of territory covered by it, had produced on some thoughtful minds, be fore the events of 1844, the impression that separation would be convenient and otherwise advantageous. The general conference, upon any proper basis of representation, was becoming too un wieldly for the ends originally designed. If this reason was of force then, it is more conclusive now.- The member ship of the Methodist Episcopal church, south, exceeds six hundred thousand. Our northern brethren have more than twice that number. Our general con ference is now composed of nearly three hundred ministers and laymen ; theirs is proportionately larger. It will be remembered that the last formal deliverance of the southern rep resentatives, in the united conference. was a protest against the power claimed for and exercised by that highest judi catory of the church. The northern m rubers, who were a controlling major ity, claimed for it prerogatives which seemed to us both dangerous and un constitutional. In their view tho "general conference is supreme. Although restricted in the exercise of its powers by a constitution, it is the judge of the restrictions, and thus practically unlimited. In our view the general conference is a bDdv of lim ited powers. It cannot absorb the func tions of other co-ordinate branches of the church government, and there are methods by which all constitutional questions may be brought to a satisfac tory i-isue. Each church still retains its own oorstruction of these fundamen tal questions. They are not theoreti cal, merely, but very practical in their bearing. Were the two Methodisms or ganically united it would lead to serious collisions, and expose the minority to harrassing legis-lation, if not oppression. The existence of slavery in the south ern states furnished an occasion, with its connected questions, fruitful of dis turbance ; and to this the division has been mainly attributed. The position of southern Methodic ni on that point was scriptural. Our opinious have un dergone no change. We held ourselves in readiness to carry the gospel to the bond and free. Missions to tho slaves constituted a large pait of our work. Many of onr ministers labored in this field, and much of our means was ex pended on it. These lalwis were emi nently owned of God. At the begin ning of the late war a quarter of a mil lion of negroes were in the communion of our church, and thousands of their children were rccoivirg catechetical in struction. The societies organized in the southern states during the last ten years by onr northern brethren, and tha members of which swell their statis tics, are made up largely of those who, in slavery, had been converted by our instrumentality. Tho colored presch crs, exhorters and class lea lers by whom they have principally carried ou their southern work, aud some of whom hav bet n counted worthy of seats in their annual and general conferences, were christianized aud trained under our ministry iu other days. Following the indications f providence we have, without abandoning this work, adapted our methods to tho changed conditions of the descendants of the African race in the midst of us. Many of them had been drawn away from us by appliances that we were not prepared to counter act ; but a remnant remained. At their request we have set off our colored members into an independent ecclesias tical bodv, with i ur own creed and polity. We have turned over to them the titles and possession of the church property form rly held by us for their use and benefit, ami we promise to con tinne to them sneh moral and material aid as we are able to give. This method has met with encourag ing success. We believe it to be the best for both races. They have now fifteen annual conferences, four bishops, 007 traveling preachers, 518 local preachers, 64,(509 members, 525 Sunday schools, 1,102 Sunday-school teachers, and 49,955 Sun day-school scholars. They dwell in the land side by side with us ; and between us and them exist the kindest relations. Our northern brethr n have pursued a different plan, and they seem commit ted to it by honest aud conscientious convictions. They have mixed confer ences, mixed congregations and mixed schools. We do not ask them to adopt emr plan. We could not adopt theirs. We refer to these things in order that our position may not be attributed by any to prejudice, resentment or other motives unworthy of christians. But, whilst we are clear and final in our declarations against the union of the two Methodisms, we welcome measures looking to the removal of obstacles in the .vay of amity and peace. The ex istence of these obstacles is generally known, and they are frankly recognized in the addiess of the delegates sent to us. Our brethren of the Methodist Epis copal church will, we trust, appreciate our uniform and frequent reference to the plan of separation. No adjustment can be considered by us that ignores it. By that plau we hold all our church houses, cemeteries, school buildings, and other property acquired before the division. Under it we claimed and re covered our portion of the common fund in the book cencerns at New York and Cincinnati. When its validity was denied by onr northern brethren, and the share of tlie common property inuring to us under it was withheld by them, the plan of sep aration was taken for ultimate adjudica tion to the supreme court of the United states, and that highest tribunal, with out a dissenting voice, affirmed its validity and our rights under it. hen tho representatives of tho Methodist Episcopal church asserted before that tribunal that they were the we were a it it original church, and that secession, the court said : " It can no more be affirmed, either in point; oi lact or law, that they are trav eling preachers in connection with the JVlethodist church as originally organ iz,eu aiuce me aivision, man tnose in connection with the church south. Their organization covers but half of the ter ritory embraced within that of the former church, and includes within but a little over two-thirds of the trav eling preachers. Their general confer ence is not the general conference of the old Church, nor does represent the interests or possess terri torially the authority of the same; nor are they the body under whose care this fund was placed by its founders Tl 1- . .... ii, may ue aumiuea mat. witnin re stricted limits, the organization and the authority are the samo as the former church. But the same is equally true in respect to the organization of the church south." W hen the same parties attempted to set asiae tne plan of separation, on the ground that it was without proper aiimoriiy, uie court said : but we do not agree that this decis ion was made without the proper author ity. On the contrary. re entertain no doub; that the general conference of 1844 was competent to make it ; and that eat h division of the church, under the separate organization, is iust as legitimate, and can claim as high a sanction ecclesiastical aud temporal as ine ivietuodist Episcopal churc first founded in the United States. The same authority which founded the church in 1784 has divided it and estab lished two separate and independent or ganizations, occupying the place of the old one." However others may regard that in stilment, the plan of separation is too important in its application to our status and security to be lightly esteemed by us. If it should be said that its pro visions, touching territorial limits, have been violated by both parties, we have this to say : We are ready to confer with ournorthern brethren on that point. A joint commission having this feature of the compact under revision might reach a solution mutually satisfactory. Measures' preparatory to formal fra ternity would be defective that leave out of view questions in dispute be- ween the M. E. church and ourselves. These questions relate to the course pursued by some of their accredited agents whilst prosecuting their work in the south, and to property which has been taken and held by them to this day j against our protest and remonstrance. Although feeling ourselves sorely ag grieved in these things, we stand ready to meet our brothers of the Methodist Episcopal church in the spirit of Chris tian candor, and to compose all differ ences ut on the principles of iustice and equity. It is to be regretted that the honored representatives who bore fraternal greet ings to us were not empowered also to enter upon a settlement of these vexed questions. We are prepared to take advanced steps in this direction, and waiving any considerations which might justify a greater reserve, we will not only appoint a delegation to return the greeting so gracefully conveyed to us from he M. E. church, but we will also provide for a commission to meet similar commission from that church for the purpose of settling disturbing questions. Open and righteous treatment of all cases of complaint will furnish the only solid ground upon which we can meet, delations of amity are with special em phasis demanded between bodies so near akin. e be brethren. To the reali zation of this the families of Methodism are called oy the movements of the times. The attractive power of the cross is working mightily. The Chris tian elements in the world are all astir in their search for each other. Chris tian hearts are crying to each other across vast spaces and longing for fel lowship, 'ihe heart of southern Metho dism, being in full accord with these sentiments, your committee submit the following resolutions for adoption Resolved, That this general conference lias received with pleasure the fraternal greetings of the M. K. church conveyed to ns by their delegates, and tl-at our bishops he and are liereny authorized to appoint a delegation, consisting of two ministers and one layman, to bear our Christian salutations to their next ensuing genr-ritl conference. Resolved, That in order to remove all ob stacles in formal fraternity between the two churches, our college of bishops is author ized to appoint a commission, consisting of three ministers and two lavmen, to meet similar commission authorized y the general conference of the M. E. church, and to ad just all existing difficulties. COMMITTEE. A. W. Wilson, A. L. P. Ohf.es, L. Parker. C. W. Miller, I!. Alexander, K. W. Jones. 8. l'nr.o, J. Ij PeYambebt, P. K. FlTTMAN. LORD VIVIAN'S DREAM. A Dream tliat Brought Good the Dreamer. Lack to The most predominant and apparent ly incongruous characteristics of tbe gambler are shrewdness and snpersti tion, and the aristocrat who ventures his money on the fieetness of one ont of a score of horses (or more frequently upon the honesty or dishonesty of the trainers and riders or the same), it will be seen by the story of Lord Vivian's 1 .4 - uream, ouen is swayea uy sncu impulses to $650 per span." increased in proportion to the demand, and they bring from $75 to 150 per head, according to age and points. The mule market has for some weeks been very quiet, and the stock of mules on hand very large. There has been a change, however, in the market this week, and prices have advanced won derfully. The supply of sound and well-broken mules is very small, and, with the exception of one or two small green lots, none have arrived during tbe week. The prices range from S300 Chancing the Tune. Snooks had occasion to call on the Rev. Dominie Thomas Campbell while at Glasgow. " Is tho dominie in ?" he inquired of a portly dame who opened the door. " He's at hame, but he's no in," replied tho lady. "He's in the yard, sooporintendin' Sanners, the car penter. Ye can see him the noo if your business is vera precise." Snooks as sented and walk d through the door pointed out to him in the yard, where hebiheld a carpenter briskly planing away to the air of "Maggie Lauder," and the worthy dominie standing by. Unwilling to intrude on their conversa tion, Snooks stepped, unseen, behind a water cask, and heard, " Sanners !" No answer from the carpenter. "Sauners, I say ! can ye.no hear me ?" " Yes, min ister, I hear ye. What's your wull ?" " Can ye no whistle some mair solemn and godly time while ye're at work?" "A weel, minister, if it be your wull, I'll e'en doit." Upon which he changed the air to the " Dead March in Saul," greatly to the hindrance of what was now painful planing. The domirie looked on for some minutes in silence, aud then said, " Sauners, I hae anither word to say till ye. Did the gude wife hire y- by the day's darg or by the job ?" "The day.R darg, was our agree ing, maister." "Then, on the whole, Sauners, I think ye m:iy just as weel gae back to whistli g bonnie Maggie Lauder." Something in Statuary. "An American from New York" is, according to a Taris correspondent, the attraction at the Folies Bergeres. The name of the attraction is Laflin, and his theatrical nature is to attitudinize. He is reported to be an admirably built fellow, tall and symmetrical, who, clad in white tights, and lit up in the fore ground by an electric light, and re lieved in the background by a claret colored velvet enrtain, represents Her cules brandishing his club, Cincinnatus lacing his sandals, and Achilles hunt ing a shield for his vulnerable heel. Before entering the show business it is stated Laflin was a model for the ar tists at the Royal Academy in London. He also has high repute as a boxer, and his abilities as an oarsman are so marked that a veracious chronicler tells us he carries with him several trunks lull of medals, which he has won in diifeieut contests. His poses are said to be very beautiful, aud a witty re mark is reported to have been made concerning him by an amateur of the fine arts to this effect : " The next time I give a party I shall invite him : it will be as good as an expensive collection of statuary to see him standing around the room. brother gambler who buys lottery tick ets upon the inspiration derived from hackney-coach numbers or backs his fan cy whose colors on the " c'rect card" coincide with those of the first bonnet he observed on his left after turning down tliree corners on the day of the race. On the morning of the city and su burban day of the recent Epsom spring meeting, Jjord Vivian, a well known English turfman, dreamed that he was accosted in the weighing room on the course by a friend, Mr. 0. Samuda, who informed him that the race had been a fine one, The Teacher having only won by a neck. Lord Vivian at breakfast looked through the betting list, but saw no such name as Teacher in the quota tions, but on proceeding to the Water loo station the first person he met was Mr. Samuda coincidence number one who on being told of the dream, said that there was such a horse among the starters, Aldrich having originally been named The Teacher (a neat piece of nomenclature, his sire being Lectu rer), the name being changed because it was already borne by a filly of the same age. Coincidence number two still further impressed Lord Vivian, who de termined to put a couple of ponies otherwise a century upon the horse. The owner, Lord Rosebery, a nobleman very well and favorably known in this country, endeavored to dissuade him, telling him that Aldrich had been badly beaten in his trials ; so Lord Vivian on ly backed the horse for 30, the market price being 1,000 to 30. Several other gentlemen backed the dream, notably Mr. Somarville, the owner of one of the favorites. The raco was run. There was a nasty accident, the favorite (who looked all over a winner) fell and broke his bacK, two other horses tumbled over him, and several others, including Mr. Somarville's filly, were "disappointed." Aldrich won coincidence number three. And by a neck coincidence number four. All of which is recommended to the reader of an arithmetical turn of mind, who, having gloriously distinguished himself by demonstrating the chances against one player at whist holding thirteen, trumps, may sigh for fresh problems to 6olve. We also advise our gilded youth who are making up books on the Belmont or Withers to look into this subject as possibly affording clues for which they may seek in vain through the masses of private trials and public running, form, and breeding. Those old turfmen who desire to see visions of rauk outsiders' cumbers going up, and young sportsmen who would fain dream dreams of dark horses cantering past the post lengths in front of all tbe favorites, might adopt the meat of Fusel i and the drink of De Qmncey. The ears of the waiters at Delmonico's would then during race weeks be saluted with orders for raw pork chops for one plenty of blood and quarts of cabinet laudanum. The nightmare would be the better horse, and men hie them to bed crammed with distressful pork, cabbage and racing calendars, to sleep, perchance to dream : while stenogra phers surround the couches whereon they lay in restless ecstasy to take down their inspired ravings of the race of the morrow. But let not the credulous taker of odds too eagerly follow fanc:es thus bred, begot, and engendered. In horse racing indigestion will as frequently be at fault as inexperience or even intelli gence. Uacon very properly ooserves that people only mark dreams when they hit never when they miss "THE CROPS. Ar- Fropects iu Alabama, MinsUsippl, kail nas and Teiaa, The National Crop Reporter has pub lished returns from one Iiun ired and ninety-eight correspondents, covering one hundred and twenty-nve counties in the states of Alabama, Arkansas. Mississippi and Texas, in relation to the area planted this season iu cotton and corn in those states. Deductions are also published from the estimates of correspondents in relation to the total of spring and winter wheat now in the ground, in the states of Illinois, Indi ana, Iowa, Kansas, Minnesota, Missouri, Ohio and Wisconsin. The following is an abstract of the principal information furnished in the matter of cotton : There is shown a falling off from the area planted last year, averaging in the four states first named 14 6-30 per cent. The decrease in area is 18 4-19 per cent, in Alabama ; 9 4-10 per cent, in Arkan sas ; 20 4-10 per cent, in Mississippi, and 5 2-10 per cent, in Texas. The area devoted to corn in the same is placed at an increase over tne year past to the extent of 9 7-10 per cent. Ihe increase is given as 10 4-10 per cent, in Alabama ; 9 4-10 per cent, in Arkansas ; 8 per cent in Mississippi, and 10 6-40 per cent, in Texas. The stand of both cotton and corn in the states named, was, May 15, much be low a fnll stand, although the stand of corn was better than that of cotton. In Louisiana the majority of reports received, speak of a considerable por tion of the land as overflowed. In all the four states, the lateness of the season has very much delayed matters, and al though much of the replanting which became necessary, had been accomplish ed at the date of the reports there will still bo a good deal of land idle. Estimates of correspondents in th eight western states previously men tioned, indicate an average increase in the total area of wheat of eight and two-tenths per cent. ' The general condition of the growing grain at the date of the last report was all that could be desired, although the crop in Iowa has suffered somewhat from the depredations of grasshoppers. lViu thinks she will be able to pay on an ner aeots aad have a handsome surplus out of the rich gnana deposits which she is now known $o possess. that the proportion of dreams falling true is infinitely smaller than it would seem to be. Lord Vivian's dream net ted him $3,000, and had he followed ont his first intentions would have brought him 16,000. But we doubt if ever his lordship will again get the straight tip through the ivory gate of dreams. The World s arithmetic man lias shown that tho chances against one's holding thir teen trumps at whist omitting irom the calculation any recognition of the fact that a player cm n' t hold thirteen trumps save on his own deal, which only takes plate once in four deals are so great that if all the paleolithic men had sat down to play, and shuihed and dealt once a minute without inter mission for meals or sleep, or interrup tion by cataclysms, death, destruction or tne deluge, tney would to-uay oe much less thau calf way to tlie desired hand. It being necessary m the case mentioned that his lordship (1) should dream, (2) should dream of racing, (3) should dieam of that particular race, and (4) should dream of a horse by name which thould prove (5) o be in that race, (6) to start for that race, and ( 7) to win that race by (8) a neck, not to mention the minor contingencies of his remembering and acting upon his dream, and the coincidence of meeting his friend, and the chance of all tlie good horses falling and his horso pro fiting by the fall, it will be seen that the odds in favor of his dreams netting him 1,000 apiece are almost as small. Better, far better, to follow the lead of tho prophet nay, better even to con- ult the "agents" who advertise in definite "sure things" for thirteen stamps, and never fail after the race to pick out the winner. The Baltimore Horse and Mule Market. The Baltimore American of recent date savs : "A number of small lots of good horses have arrived during the week from Ohio, HentucKy, Indiana and West Virginia. Several of tliese lots were particularly good. One span of browns that arrived this week are for sale at an up-town stable. They can go a mile handsomely in less than four minutes, and they are valued at 4,000. This team may, however, ba considered above the market, and it is not likely to be sold at anything near the sum asked, although a few weeks since the same span would have brought even a larger amount than is now asked for them. A handsome span of Kentucky bays that have been for sale in this city for several weeks at $3,500 were ship ped to Philadelphia last week, where they will very likely be sold at advan ced figures. There are several other teams for sale at from $1. 500 to 2 500 each, but the demand for horses of this grade is very poor. A number of ex cellent roadsters and Bingle driving horses have arrived recently from Ken tucky and Ohio. This class of animals are selling low, one very stylish bay that can make a mile in less that four minutes being sold for S550. Horses of this class bring from 250 to 500 per head. This grade of horses is being bought principally by North Carolina men. A number of Wilmington and Newbtrn dealers are now in the city buying for those markets. Heavy draught-horses are in poor demand, and the supply is both large and excellent. These heavy horses are held at prices varying from 8250 to $350 her head. The sales have, however, been very few. There are very few brood-mares upon the market. Snch animals are selling at from $150 to $175 each. The demand for common work horses has been very good, and the sales have been larger than usual. The prices have of course, What the Confederate Archives Show. It will be recollected that some time ago the southern claims commission, in pursuance of authority from congress, recommended the purchase of a large amount of rebel archives which were then in the possession of a person in Canada and that finally these archives were purchased for seventy-five thou sand dollars. It appears now that there papers and documents are to prove of incalculable benefit in making up the tiuthful history of the late rebellion, and, to place them in historic, authentic form, it only reqnires a true historian an American Macaulay, possibly who shall have free access to the proper de partments, to give to the public the substance of the valuable documents. Just at this moment there is a subject of vast importance to be considered by congress, in which, to obtain intelligent action, the publicity of the rebel ar chives would aid materially. The Ge neva award had been attacked in Eng land by leading statesmen, apparently differing from the then dominant party in Great Britain, upon the ground, as alleged, that great injustice had been done the English government in the ar bitration. No clear statement of the facts on which this position was based has been published. It now appears s j from the rebel archives, the correspond ence of Mason, Slidell, and other repre sentatives of the southern confedera tion, that the British government was absolutely opposed to any countenance or recognition of the movement to dis solve the union ; that Mason tried in avin for over a year to get an audience with the then premier of England for the purpose of presenting his case and demanding recognition of belligerent rights ; and that he lelt London in ois gnst and repaired to Paris to confer with Slidell. There they mot with more en couragement, it seems, and found in the late Emperor Napoleon a warm sympa thizer. Napoleon wa willing to g ve all the aid that could, under the cir cumstances, be expected of France. What took place between Napoleon, Mason, and Slidell will probably be disclosed in the further discussion of the Geneva award, when the bill making the distribution of the money comes up in the house of representatives. The Eucalyptus Globulus. According to a commun:cation by a Mr. Sowerby to the Royal botanical so ciety, the Eucalyptus Globulus, the plant so much talked about recently, crows finely in the society s gardens, one specimen, seven years old, being fifteen feet high. Experiments were under way for trying its growth in the oprnair; but it was thought that ex cept in the extreme south or west of England, it would not stand an ordina ry English winter. Prof. Bentley stated ehat although probably some of the properties of the Eucalyptus are exag gerated, its efficiency in fevers has been well established, and that it is used witn success in Australia and elsewhere as a remedy in such cases. It is found, how ever, not to possess any of the cinchona alkaloids as had been previously claim ed. The virtues of the tree in case of draining marshy lands and in improving the sanitary condition of a country were also dwelt upon. It was stated that this plant yields the Eucalyptus oil, now imported into England, and that it also yields an astringent sub stance, which is applicable, like catechu, in medicine and in the arts. SUBORDINATION CT WOMEN. An Anti-Women" Kisrbta View at the Situation. That woman has not competed with men in the active wcrV. of life was pro bably because, not having iirtd th pow er, she had not the desire to do so, and because, having the capacity of func tions which man has not, she has found her pleasure in performing them. It is not simply that man, being stronger in body than she is, has held her in sub jection, and debarred her from careers of ection which he was resolved to keep for himself ; her maternal functions must always have rendered, and must continue to render, most of her activity domestic. There have been times enough in the history of the world, when tho freedom which she ha had, and the position whiw'h she hai held in the estimation of men, would have en abled her to assert her claims to other functions, had she so willed it. The most earnest advocate of her rights to be something elsa than what she has hitherto been, would hardly argue that she has always been in the position of slave kept in forcible subjection by the superior physical force of men. As suredly, if she has been a slave, she has been a slave content wnn ner ooiatiage. But it may, perhaps, be said that in that lies the very pith of tho matter that she is not free, and does not care to be free ; that she is a slave, and does not know or feel it. It may be alleged that she has lived for so many ages in the position of dependence, to which she was originally reduced by the supe rior muscular strengtn oi man, nas been so thoroughly imbued with inher ited habits of submission, and over awed by the influence of customs never questioned, thatshe has not thedesire for emancipation : that thus a moral bond age has been established, more effectual than an actual physical bondage. It would be rash to assert that there is not some measure or truin in tuese arguments. Let any one who thinks otherwise reflect upon the degraded condition of women in Turkey, where habit is so ingrained in their nature, and custom so powerful over the mind, that they have neither thought nor de sire to attain to a higher state, and "nought feel their foul disgrace; a striking illustration how women may be demoralized and yet not know nor feel it, and an instructive lesson for those who are anxious to form a sound judg ment upon the merits of the movement for promoting their higher education and the removal of the legal disabilities under which they labor. It is hardly possible to exaggerate the effects of the aws and usages of a country upon the habits of thought of those who, gener ation after generation, have been born and bred, and have lived under them. But may we not fairly assert that it would be no less a mistake in an oppo- I site direction to allow no weight to such an argument? Setting physiological considerations aside, it is not possible to suppose that the whole explanation of woman's position and character is that man, having in the beginning found her pleasing in his eyes and necessary to his enjoyment, took forcible posses sion of her, and has ever since kept her in bondage, without any other justifica tion than the right of the strongest. Superiority of muscular strength, with out superiority of any other kind, would not have done that any more than su periority of muscular strength has avail t d to give the lion or the elephant the possession of the earth. If it were not that woman's organization and functions found their fitting home in a position different from, if not subordinate to, that of men, she would not so long have kept that position. If she ih to be judged by the same standard as men, and to make.their aims hf r aims, we are certainly bound to say that she labors under an inferiority of constitution by a dispensation which there is no gain saying. This is a matter of physiology, not a matter of sentiment. FortnUjUtly Review. nation now owes. If this calculation was applied to England or France, whose national debt is nearly twice as large as onfs. the reanlt would be still more startling. PAINTED PUPS. Tobacco Exemption. Representative's in congress from to bacco raising sections of the country have by persistent effort induced the committee of ways and means to report a bill exempting from tax $100 worth of tobacco sold by a producer to a con sumer. But there seems to be a strong opposition to this "exemption from the commissioner of internal revenue and manufacturers the one on the grouiid that it weakens the revenne law on the sales of tobacco, and the other because, as they declare, it will encourage frauds in selling the leaf, and the uso -of un manufactured tobacco for chewing, adding: "I am a candidate for sheriff of this county, and I think by a judicious use of five pounds of good tobacco I can secure two hundred majority." A smart city billiardist picked up a countryman, and induced him to play a game of billiards one hundred points. The city boy took the one and ran the game out without a stop. The country man quietly laid down his cue and started for the door. Said the billiard ist, " Here, come back and pay for this "What game?" said country. played. ' we ? I game, "Why, the game we just " We ?" said the countryman haint played no billiards as I knows of. I guess, mister, see'n as you played the game alore, you'd better pay for it alone !" Whereat the countryman walked out and tbe smart city boy cogitated. California Wood-Choppers. It is in the logging camps that a stranger will be most interested on this coast, for there he will see and feel tlie bigness of the red-woods. A man in Humboldt county got out of one tree lumber enough to build his house aud barn, and to fence in two acres of ground. A schooner was filled with shingles made from a single tree. One tree in Mendocino whoso remains were shown to me made a mile of railroad ties. Trees fourteen feet in diameter have been frequently found and cut down ; the saw-logs are olten split apart with wedges, because the entire mass is too large to float in tho small and nar row streams, and I have often seen them blow a log apart with gunpowder. A tree four feet in diametei is called un dersized in these woods, aud so skillful are the wood-choppers that they can make the largest giant of the forest fall just where they want it, or, as they say, " drive a stake with tlie tree. The choppers do not stand ou the ground, but on a stage raised to such a height as to enable the ax to strike in where the tree attains its fair and regu lar thickness, for the red-wood, like the seauoia. swells at the base near tlie ground. Tliese trees prefer steep hill sides, and grow in an extremely rough and broken country, a d their great height makes it necessary to fell them carefully, lest they should, falling with such enormous weight, break to piece This constantly happens, in spite of every precaution, and there is little doubt that in these forests and at the mills two feet of wood are wasted for every foot of lumber sent to market, To mark the direction line on which the tree is to fall, the chopper usually drives a stake into the ground 100 or 150 feet from the base of the tree, and it is actually common to make the tree fall on this stake, so straight do these red-woods stand and so accurate is the skill of the cutters. To fell a tree eiyht feet in diameter is counted a day's work for a man. Harper's Magazine. Curious Calculation. There is something wonderful in fig- ures ; and rumoers, wnen caicniaten, startle us by their immensity. We talk of millions and billions with little thought of the vastness of the sums we name. The lips may utter the words glibly, but their understanding fails to grasp their real significance. Take our own national debt as an illustration. Everybody knows it is large, but few have ever stopped to consider its appall ing magnitude. A few calculations will not, we trust, be uninteresting to our readers : Let ns suppose that the national debt is, in round numbers, $2,500,000,000. If an experienced cashier was to com mence counting this, at the rate of three silver dollais per second, and work dil- ligently eight hours per aay, .wu ujo in the year, it would take him about one liundrea yearn m uumpioio mo count. . .... If the silver dollars were placed side by side, touching each ther, they would reach nearly tin ee times round the world ; they would pave a highway the width of Chicago's streets more than 200 miles in length. If each silver piece be estimated at one ounce in weight, and the money loaded into carts containing one ton each, and driven one before the other, each horse and cart occupying two rods, the pro cession would extend five hundred miles. Or consider that ODly about 1,000,- 000,000 minutes have elapsed since the birth of Christ, and that if one dollar had been put away eacli minute, day and night, since that event, the accu mulation would amount to but little more than one-third of the debt this A UoJJ -f If r Trir. to " Sell" a ('alitor Itaaiber. A curious-looking itvnTumai presen ted himself at the Bank of Cithforuin and d manded to see Mr. Lalston From the dress and appearance of the man one would scarcely be led to sup pose that he came in for the purposo of engineering a financial negotiation. On his rght arm, however, was a lare bas ket of remarkably fine and small spot ted pups, whoso heads stuck ont in a' I directions from the edjt s of the basket. He advanced with a quick step ard moved itbiu the sacred and charmed circle where thousnnds and thousands of clinking old twenties jostle and make music with their fellows. But the noise occasioned by the c'ink of wealth did not seem to attract his atten tion, and without seeming to think that the place on which he stood was " holy ground" he walked into the private of fice of the millionaire and deposited his basket of spotted bull pups on the floor with the remark 5 "There's them pups, Ralston." At the sight of tho caniue beauties the eyes of the bunker glis tened with pleasure, and he leaned over to inspect them. Then tho pup-fancier turned tho basket upside down, and in an instant the whole litter were run ning over the soft carpet and gamboling, with delight. "Now, just look at 'em," remarked tho man, waving his hand over the group; " the finest strain, barriu' nun, that iver yelpe I in this town, you betch er. Now, I want to sell ye the whole lot, and knowin' that you're a little hard up, and strugglin to keep a largo fam ily runniu', I'll put 'em down where you can reach 'em without straighten in' your elbow, now mucn lor ine lot, the whole of em, just as they are , "Well. .lack, replied tho money king, " you know how I'm situated now times mighty hard : stock down money market depressed, and this new issue of greenbacks, yon Know, laKes the underpinning out of things, you know." Yes," replied the dog-seller, with considerable deliberation, " I took all 'em things into consideration, ye see, and concluded I wouldn't put the screws on ye very heavy on that ac count. I'll slam the price down and chuck ye the whole lot for, say, a a " Here the man paused and hesi tated, while he looked the banker in the eye and seemed to wait for him to say something. There was an unpleas ant pause. Well, said Ralston, 1 guess the price yon named is aoom mo inmg, don't you ? " turning to a Chronicle re porter on his right, who had been wait ing for some time to negotiate a trifling loan of $100,000. The reporter thought BO tOO. " Well, all right, so that the whole lot of these bull pups go for the low bedrock price of $75." "Seventy-five dollars! Why man, such a sum, in these tin es,f six spot ted pups ! Ain't you joking? " " Now, look here," pleaded the dog trader. " If you can get any such as them for the same amount of coin I'll pay for 'em and eat urn raw; yes, eat uni raw." "But dogs, my man, ain't in the de man they used to bo. Dogs are quite common now, you know, and getting cheaper every year." " That's so, for tho comnion.breed o' pups ; but for tins yt r kind ol spotteu pups, not snatched up on every bush tho finest strain, as I said befoie, barrin nun, that ever wagged his trotter iu the town, for coin all the coin you can put up," roared the man, quite excited. "I know; but these spots are not regular spots are they ? But it strikes me there is something of an artificial cast about these spots," and with re markable deliberation tho banker lifted one ou his knee and began to examine it with great deliberation with a inagni-fying-glass, such as are generally used as a counterfeit detector. " It strikes uie, Jack, these spots are dyed put ou with a brush." The dog-fancier did not remain after this announcement, but got down on the floor and began to scramble about under the chairs after his spotted pups, which he caught, and replacing them in his basktt. started oft. "Hold ou .lack," yelled the baaker, laughing heartily. " vn go over and sell these pups to Sam Bntterworth, and I'll pay you all he does for era. "Sum But terworth ! Do you s'pose Sam Butter worth don't know a painted pup the minute he sees one ? I tried him abou half an hour ago, and he sent me roitud to you." Iu another instant the mau had van ished. taking tho painted dogs with him. FACTS AND FANCIES. The E istcrn papers call a crust of tread "a little faded flour." The reason why a watch is called a watch is evidently because it is always on its guard. The tailor's bill of fare i "hot goose" nd "cabbage." Customers fur nish the sauce. As fast as tho flood along tho Mississippi subside tho wicked planters resume the raising of cane. A matter-of-fact old gentleman thinks it roust be a very small ba ball that can be caught on a lly. A Virginian is under arrest for pawning his wife's corset for a quart of whisky. Ho believed that tight lacing would kill her. One can get a big bo.i constrictor in New York for forty-five dollars, and yet there are men who are constantly com plaining about hard times. A young man of twenty-one liangirg; to a lump-post and iiiRirg "Futhtr don't drink any now," at midnight, irt one of the curious phswa of city lif. A Dotroiter who removed to Iono Tree, Xeb., a y.ar or two ngo, writes to a tobacco house in that city to send him five ponuds of "iiue-eut'' by e xpress, It is estimated that in Paris thero has been an average of three suicides a day for the past year. During tho win ter the suicides oeoiircd ut ine raio oi four a day. A inariiage was broken up in Duluth by the ycuui", mm making an unexpected call anl finding tlie pood In ilog playing wuu lii tr ie love h giutn eye. The wife of I'd ward S. Stokes, the asnassin of Fink, has obtained a deoreo of divorce. It seems that tho matrimo nial bonds lu twt n lit r and her hushund were severed by mutual consent. An eastern poet gives this pnrlirrj advice to tho bridgegroom : " l!o alli-rn kind, ami never fay ' shall,' Ami do what joiii'rh l.'w jii'hio her. For kIh''h a hun'i-hro.l 'Merit-Mil cat. Ami tho elio-i-f.l nf our hiint-hroj C.rnur. Forest Tree Planting. In April, 1868, I planted about two acres of cottonwood seedlings of one year's growth ; they were about eight een inches high. The treas were planted four feet apart each way, which I think is about the right distance, as bv close planting wo get more growth in the trunks aud less in the lower branches. I marked the ground one way and planted across tho marks with a spade, which 1 think is the uesi way In this way I got the rows straight enough to cultivate well both ways, which is important. My trees were cultivated two seasons ; silica that, they have had no more care. They are now twenty to thirty feet high, and growing liiieiv. In 1809 I planted aome cottonwood cuttings in the same way. but neglected to cultivate them ; the result is they are not half as large as those a year older. I have planted trees and cut tings of different kinds by setting them in a deep furrow and turning another furrow against them ; this does very well on a hedge-row or for a narrow belt. In planting black-walnut, my method is to bury the nuts in a dry plaeo in the fall, and plant them about corn- planting time the next spring, four feet apart each way. Cover two or mrt-o inches deep. Timber planted in this WAV rti n v tin allowed to stand till the trees are large enough for fuel or fenc ing; then thin out as occasion requires. I have sowed a small quantity of locust seed the present season, which is growing well. Gather the seed in the fall, and when dry, pound the seed out of the t ols witli a stick. When the gronnd is ready, say about the first of Mav. give the seeds a good scalding. and plant on clean ground and cultivate well. Two cottonwood seedlings planted in prairie sod in the spring of 18h7 and mulched in the samo summer were killed by the fire last fall ; one of them measured twenty-seven inches in cir cumference, the other a tnfle less. As the cottonwood is perhaps the lastest growing native tree, I would first plant grovrt oi that, tnen oiacn wainnt. soft maple, hickory, honey locust, red elm, etc. I have had very little ex perience with any but native trees. Cor. Farm Journal. " The Great Northwest." The Chicago and North westen rail way haa arranged with its Southern con nections for the sale of cheap excursion tickets at all fioints south of Chicago. Cheap "round trip" fxcursiou tickets are sold by this road at Chicago for Denver. Send to W. H. Stennett, Gen eral Passenger Agent, C. A N. W. Ry., Chicago, for an illustrated Guide Book, and it will be sent 4o yon free. A cynical writer says: "Tnko n company of boys ohuMtig imiierines ; put long-tailed coats on the boy, and turn the butterflies into dollars, snd you have a beautiful panorama of tho world." To see how eagerly a human beintf will catch at a straw, it is not nec sHiiry to witness a drowning. The phenome non is now manifest chiefly within sa loons, where one end of the straw is immersed in a tumbler. An undertaker in New York adver tises, "Coflius mado to order how's tho timo to get up club." This ia about as ghastly in its humor as the un dertaker's sign-board iu Bellefoute, l'a., " Coflius made and repaired." A modern satirist says (hat an in dolent man, who has overspent his in come and lives on I ho principal, is like Heine's monkey, who was found one day hilariously seated by the lire and cook ing his own tail in a copper kettle for dinner. " X's" don't amount to anything on oyster cans or barrels of flour. They have got so they put fifty pound roeks in a barrel of flour and tlun paint live x's on tho head, though the x-tra biihi ness could all bo done in a miuuto by the man who finds the stone. A Boston target company, composed of twelve young ladies, went to Dor chester Heights on nu excursion tho other day. The shooting whs good, an usual, and a gold medal was awarded t Miss Lizzie Flynn fir hitting a young spooney in tho leg so that ho hud to go homo to hid mother. Kate Fit Id, in her let lers aliout Spain,-gives ns the following moral re flection as the result of her study of Spanish human nature : " It is a great mistake to think that good people are tho most light-hearted and contented. They are bothered by conscience and worried about everlasting salvation." The following verso issiid to be tha flight which prompted Tetinvsou to call Joaquin America's greittti.t jHiet : Alone ami "ml I rnt tux ilmvit Tm reail mi llniiiwHU fi tuiirnw i!, lU'lo.v (icnevn. Mile nil tmle. Ami net mill many n r-lnnin;; limn, Tnw'reil Pent .111 Mull iliinee.l tl o IV(i beneath the iiinini. Wiiel hi lit anil eaine, Ami fiitmeil tln Mur 1 1 1 1 a Iliiinn. On KuHxeaii k ixle. in llmi-Hcmi h xha le, Two pink ami n-y ilimU men- ma.lo ; In clni-Mie xliA-le, on eliMi 1 ;nuiiH. We Htureil tw.M-iH-Mpu'H funl ami rouml. A very pleasant perfume, and also a prevcntivo against moths, may bo made of tho following ingredients : Take cloves, currawiiy seeds, nutmeg, mace, cinnamon, and toiniuin beans, of each tine ounce; then add as niueli Florentine orris root ns will equal tho o her ingredients put together. Grind tho whole to a fine powder, put it in silk cotton filled bag, mid place among clothes, etc. A Philadelphia broker, worth at one time a quarter of s million of dol lars, is now peddliii;r books for a liveli hood. He derives his largest income) from a thrilling broehnre entitled "A Programme of the Philadelphia Centen nial." Persons whom he importunes to buy a copy promptly knock him down, and he recovers from live to ten dollars from each of them in an set ion for as sault and battery. Tho president of Oiinlnmala has forbidden the clergy of that republic to wear the clerical dress except when they aro engaged in the terformanco of their ecclesiastical functions, and hits closed all tho convents but one, that of St. Catharine, the nuns of tho abolished convents, ono hundred and forty in number, having the option of either en tering tho convent of St. Catharine or returning to civil life. no was a quaint old fisherman. Ono day, along toward dusk, h was fishing in a trout stream, and as he swung his fly ovr the water it was suddenly snnp ped by a large bat. The strange lMk lDg thing dangled and flapped its wings at the end of the line. The fisherman' companion called out : " Say, Ham, got anything?" " Ye-e," looking at tho but on his hook. "Wind is it?" "I dunno, uulens it's a cherubim !" Directions were given by the Uni ted States sennte the other day to have a spot designated in the capitol grounds for the equestrian statue of Gen. Grpene, "in comfofmity with the resolution of tho continental congress, passed in 178(5." There was no occasion to hurry about it. Jt is not h hundred years yet since the resolution was paused, and who cares a conl mental hst the conti nental congress resolved, anyhow? A curious fact in regard to'imnii pratioii is thst many who come to tlui United States and Canada are from dis tricts in the British i:des almost as thinly populated as Dakota or South ern 1' lorida. About l it) immigrant from Kincardineshire, Scotland, recent ly arrived at Halifax, lioiind for a new settlement. Yet ono may travel tho moors of Kincardine for miles without seeing a house, nnd tho land is but poorly cultivated. A few days ago a hungry party Bat down at tho well-spread supper of a sound steamer, upon which ono of tho dishes contained a trout of moderuto size. A serious-looking individual drew this dish toward him, paving. aiotog) ti- cally, "This i fast day with me." Ilia next neigh (Kir, an Irish pent Ionian, im mediately inserted his fork into the fish and transferred it to bin own plate, re marking, "Sir, do yon snpjKise tioliody has a sowl to be saved but yourself ?" A disgusted German in America writes to his friends in the Fatherland : " When I return, J am eoing to put up printed placards in all public places thst those persons are uhsi a viho think to make money more easily here than at home. Whoever will work there as ho mnst here, could live like a 'god in Franco,' while hero he only fills Lis stomach, and passes his liftt like a dumb bruto. There are no atnusementi here, no intercourse, and tho people will take everything from von. even to your last shirt. Your relations will do it too. it is sad, but it i true, that tho Germans are worst of nil our own countrymen. J fly to you, aud will blot out forever the re'iiiembriujoe of this overpraised land, where I havo led dog lifo. Goodbye: I return to yen a beggar, but a cured wanderer."