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THE HONESDALE CITIZEN k THURSDAY MORNTNTGK JULY 9. 1008,
HALSTEAD'S BIG FIGHT Victory ol Well Known Journalist Over an Unknown. TERRIFIC BLOWS EXCHANGED Dafoatad AwalUnt Takafl Off Hli Ouard by Htm Word Odd Actions of Hla Companion, Who Could Run Backward Llka Crab. Mont Ilalatead, one of the leadors la American Journalism for more than half a century and widely known as a vigorous editorial and magazine writer, who recently died at his home In Cin cinnati, aald that the fiercest fight be ever had In hit life he once had with a 'stranger. It la said be never knew what the fight was aboctf' neither did be erer learn the oanwof his enemy. This eventful fight," be said, "took place a number of years ago." lie was walking up tbcateps of the Cincinnati postofllce Slid was alone. Going up ho saw coiiHng down a tall, powerful maivnccompacled by n smsli under- rhsp. Mr. Halstend raid that ns advanced toward them he paw tbey wero very much Interested In his Dersonal annearancc. The tall and more powerful of the two men coming toward hun was making Insulting re marks. As be passed Mr. Ilslslcail on the way down hla criticisms were of such a personal nature that the editor, who bad tried to keep his self control, concluded that It was easier to fight than to try and contain his rage, sajs correspondent of the Ilttaburg Ills patch. Bo he swung around on one bee! In the good old Cincinnati style and struck the Ohio citizen who did Dot like hla appearance hack of the ear. Coming down with tbo full weight of hie powerful figure upon tbo descending body of hla enemy, tlie weight sent the fallen one clear out over the curb Into the middle of tbo treat, where hla head Imunded over a few cobblestones before be came to rest He waa knocked far enough away for a moment for Mr. Ualstead to turn to the smaller man. lie found him with hla bands In his pockets coming to ward him. He knew that this was not a good sign In a fight, and so he made a rush for the little man before be would have a chance to draw a weapon. As the gigantic editor came toward him, aflame with wrath and boiling over with the sense of mus cular power, tbe little man performed a feat which I have never beard re corded In any known history of ath letic feats, lie ran nt top speed back ward up the steps without stumbling, ever keeping his eyes upon his ad vancing foe. Mr. Ualstead saya that be ran backward up tbe stops so much faster than he could forward that he gave him up and turned to meet the citizen whom be bad knock ed below and who waa now coming Op the steps In good courage and good pluck, ready to destroy Mr. Halatead. "Then," said Mr. Ualstead, "a fight began tbe equal of which I have nev er personally known. I bad the ad vantage of being on tbe upper side. We exchanged somo terrific blowa. He hit me a number of times on my arms. Each blow was so powerful that It temporarily removed the flesh, and the blow went clear through to the bona. Vou have no Idea bow It hurts to be struck on tbe bone of your arm In that way." Mr. rialatead obtained tbe secoild knockdown, although before arriving t this glorious result be received four DC five body blows, hod one side of his bock scratched well up and bad generally disarranged hla dress. As bis opponent went down the second time the little man, who bad been dodging around behind them, again ran up the stairs backward. Aa the man who bad been sent to the gutter twice arose deliberately to come up for another bout Mr. Hal stead's partner camo around the cor ner. He was an absentmtnded in dividual who walked tho streets in those days twirling n penknife In bis bands. lie came running, with his knife In liU hand, but before he got close enough to mine to tho rescue Mr. Halatrad'H opinm-nt was back In front of him. The field marshal said he wss nearly siieut nt this Btage of tbe Same. lie mild ho had Just a quarter of one luiw; left to breathe with. The perspiration lull down his body In streams, and at times there were such acute pains In his spine that he near ly screamed. Ills partner cried out as be camo donn, coining a word which Mr, Ualstead lind never heard before, "Get out, you scurf!" Whether It wns tbo sound of this un usual epltbet or not, the opponent was taken off tils guard, and Mr. Hal stead's huge fist struck him under tbo nose. The thumb of tbe fist went by Into his rlKht e;o, and the knuckle of the left finger went Into tbo other eye. He again fell Into the street. Then he arose, Hhook himself and started off on a dead run, as If be was thorough ly satisfied with tho morning's work. Mr. Ualstead was helped to bis office, nd It nas sevoral ilnjs Iwforu be re covered from the shock. Hut he nev er had the Hutlsfuetlou of knowing what the row was utiout. Sun Cure For Bald H.ad. A fanner north of Vouugituwn, O., has a new growth of hulr on his here tofore bald bead. It cuinu about this way: Boveral weeks iiko tho farmer went Outline and was so Interested that ho forgot bis baru bend. The sun blistered bU scalp ho badly that tho skin peeled off, and whou tho new skin came on n luzurleut growth of hair came with It. Dr. 1 Unit of Youngs town vouches for tho storv Volapuk. Volnpuk, tho name mado up for a "universal laugiiUKe," Invented In 1871) by thu Btrablan clergyman Johanu Martin Selilejer, comes from vol, re duced mid altered from tbe English world, uml puk, meaning speak, or speech. Historio Trte. Ouo of Uiu hlstoilu trees of thu coun try Is an npple trio th.it Btauds In draco churchyard ut Ilnuidway and Tenth street, New York city. Tho old trcu commemorates tho memory of Mjnlieer Itretort, who Uroo the surveyors froui his laud with a don and a stick, and so a curve was niadu lu tbe street. Wales' WalUd City. Chester, lu Wales, a city founded 1,500 years before America was dis covered, Is I'vcu at thu present time surrounditl by n wall from twelve to forty feet high, built by tho Human legions uuder Julius Agrlcola, Scanted Tssu Bcentcd tea Is tury largely drunk In China. This Is mado by lulling orungo blossoms Willi tho tea and letting It remain tightly shut up fur twenty four hours. Musical Notts. Borne musical notes nro low and spl cmn and others high and quick ho causa tho vibration of musical strings varies from thirty-two vibrations per second, which produce a soft and deep bass, to 16.000 vibrations per ae&QDd, wmcn yield a snary trsi Pnsei-rlag the Btrscgth of Timber One of the significant signs of the times is the awakening of tbo Ameri can people to tho dangerous destruc tion of their forest wealth and the ne cessity of a wise uso of what remains of It Undoubtedly In the future the nation must utlllso Its forest crop less wastcfully, both In tho woods end In tho mill, and must mako provision for future crops. Hut that la not the only way to prolong the Umber supply. If Iho service of tho wood which Is used can be lengthened It will largely de crease the amount of timber which must be cut And this can he done by treating the wood with chemicals which will poison the low forms of plant life which attack It raid cause It to decay. Tho growth of timber to low, and when tbo dearth of It be comes pressing a new crop cannot be grown quickly enough to prwent a time of severe shortage. Preservative treatment of timber has tho ndvantsge as a remedy that It can be applied Immediately. Its Importance Is there fore attracting Increasing attention. Many chemicals have been used for the preservation of timber, among them being blue vitriol, corrosive sub Umato ami chloride of zinc. One ef fective preservative Is the substance called "creosoto oil," or "creosote." On account of tho similarity of the names many people Buppone this to be tbe creosote obtained from wood, such as can bo obtalnod, refined for medic inal purposes, nt the drugstores. Dut the two aro quite different nud should not lie confused. Tho creosoto used hi wool preservation. Is obtained from coal. Much study Is bring devoted by the United Stntei forest service to creosoto oil to determine what Its com position should lie to rIm the tswt re sults In iircHorvliig tliulsT under dif ferent conditions and how the most desirable crccmolps may bo obtained. Tho reorts of ttn studios, together with n detailed description of tho more economical processes of applying tho preservntlws to wood, have been worked Into circulars, which tho gov ernment has placed nt the dlsjiosal of nil users of timber and which will lie furnished to all who make tho ropiest of the forester at Woshlngton. A Doctrine and a Condition. It seems a little odd at first that tho United States should threaten foreign powers with the big stick If they lath er with established republics on this continent and then mix In as no aro doing In Cuba and Panama. We would unhesitatingly protect those republics from foreign plotters and with a caso ss good as the present seems to be might prove ourselves Inconsistent should we keep our hands off. Bo long as we stand sponsor for republican government In Cuba and Panama we are In duty bound to see that the peo ple and not a band of conspirators or n coterie of oligarchs are at tho head, In case of Insurrection In either Cuba or Panama thu world would expect the United States to act promptly, and as things are in both republics fraud nt the polls would be certain to end lu Insurrection. It Is believed that thu presence of the American troops and officials In Cuba will tiosslbly Insure a fair and peaceful election, and tbe same reasoning sanctions tuklng time by the forelock lu Panama. To look calmly on wbllo trouble Is brewing would seem to mean that trouble and an excuso to annex are what Washington wants. Practically, since wo aro the sponsors of peace in Cuba and Panama, wo aro compelled to nurse peace in those re publics. The New Confederate Commander. One of General John D. Gordon's of ficers and a soldier after his own heart was chosen for tho place which he so long held when the Confederate veter ans at their recent annual gathering elected General Clement A. Evans com mander In chief. Gordon was tho first commander of the united camps of tho survivors of the urinles of tbe Confed eracy. While ho 'lived no other leader was thought of. Thu late commander In chief, S. I. Lee, was, llko Gordon, n lieutenant general lu rank ami through long association with the veterans In their reunions was tho logical xucces sor of Gordon. General Evuns led a division of Geor gians in Gordon's nrmy corps at Appo mattox aud fought there with Sheri dan's troopers after thu historic vhlte flag (skirt, shirt, handkerchief, or what not) had been rubied. Sheridan person ally told Gordon tho truce was on, but the aggressive Georgian, fighting lu tho "lost ditch," refused to call off Evnns' men uutll Little Phil showed him it was no bluff. Starting lu 1S01 its colo nel of one of Georgia's crack regiments, Evans won his way to tho command of a division. lie Is a typu of tho boulh's hurd uud determined fighters n ml an honor to tho order of United Confeder ate Veterans. Admiral Evuns thinks that forty eight up to date battleships would savu us In all sorts of war iieiils. Tint, forty-eight Iireiii'lnoughts would cost Undo Sam "a good deal n' money," ud mlral, "n good deal o' money." Now that an American horse ridden by an English Jockey bus captured tho French Grand I'rlx stakes It's about tlmo to dust off tho hands-across-the-swi llterntiire That new battleship which England Is to equip wltl a ga motor will bo it L'1,1100 lonuiT, and the gas bill for keep lug her moving wi'l bo light. There will be nt least n shadow of an excuse for meutless hash If the price of 1eef keeps on soaring. Consul Ttlako's vvurulngs against fab ricated Scotch "anriiin.'S," smh as HoIh ert Hunts chads and Mnrj IJueoii of Scots tables, Indicates that thu "aging" process Is upplled In Seiitlnnd to other products than thu national beterage. London has adopti-d tho "Merry Wid ow" hat. Now for luoru "suffragette" battles when the aiilhoiltlcs try to keep tho narrow- thorouglifnii's of the British metropolis mien for triillle. Thu iiiotiltur riurlda made good In on uncommonly sevcro trial lu Hampton loads. That Is precisely what tho first of all monitors did In tbono waters forty-six years ago. Great Ilrltalu intends to keep on itullng tho wave. Having arrived with a record breaking liner, sho will build a greater Dreadnought and equip it with gas engines. Somehow a man's hatred of files In creasoR, tvery I'11'" '"' happens to light on thu fly paper himself. The very lt M-ut for von In a small boat Is thu one ) oil e-iu stick to until thu end of tho Ixlp. FACTS IN FEW LINES Greenland bus a population of 11,803. Denmark has repealed the Import dutlesjfi rice ami petroleum. hrfull's capacity nf cocoi Is almost JMiltlcM. tjit year's prodmtloti ex cooled K i. J pounds. In Homo parts nf China tho nntlvei have taken to raMiig gini and mak ing several kinds of wine. Itatiiilli-il during lil enmpllgn In Italy uml Spain pluiuleiiil f) towns and iWtrnyid Kml.tsw men Bo lately ns 113 1 1 1-- l!r!t!h East In dia fiinp-iiiy decided that trade with Japan iina not vvoith cultivating "t'nl.iK m.mi Inhabitants. iiuiitiint se.iioil; piln. lpul InilL. tty telle tut " So runs the I'lemli g". graphy lm'; Germany l now gaining l.- oe l.y Im migration than "he n-e I.J emigra tion. The rev pi m Is true of Gnat tlrltnln. l!'iln bn .MUX 1 miles nf uatlgnble rivers nnd !N.i) miles of railroads. At last account.! the tlier traffic mummied to 30.il Ions n 3 ear. The conductor on the Merced river canyon train In California stopieil the train long enough to kill with n rifle a brown bear 2il jnrds away. R. W Itanisey of (1 Irani, O., Is the Inventor of n process for making use of flue dust from a blast furnace In tho manufacture of fuel which Is' Raid to lie very promising. Dannert gas is the name given In Germany to n new sulistltute for coal gas. It Is mnde from oil and coke, aud, while not uiillku water gas, It Is much cheoiier to produce. Yuan Shi Kal Is urging the Chinese throne to establish n government de partment to deal with missionary af fairs, something that all mission work ers would welcome. Pins are imt ued lu China. Clothes arc fastetuil with buttons and button holes or with toops nnd frogs, and a person Is emi'i'iii'il untidy who re sorts to hiicIi i.ial.i !-lilfts ns plus. In n return Jut puientcd to parlia ment the In! il of the land forces of the Ilrltlih emu a at In le and abroad on the nctlvc list Is g en as 4l."i,Tltl ns compared with Griin.iii.v's lilli.mKi. Dr. Marl: I Knnpp of Now York diagnoses org uilc tlNeaM's by stripping the patient ami observing the lilies and shadows which tho Internal organs produce nu the skill during respiration. Itrazll has u new- law w bleb makes every man of tucnt one to foity-four subject to military service. Those who object on religious grounds are nt solied, but they lose all political priv ileges. Thu Chicago Tribune's current crlmi records contain no less tbau twenty eight suicides since the paulc of last October which wero caused by tbo re lultlng financial losses. It is for tbe most part a list of bankers and bro kers. Since the United States government liegan to patronize ei'wsltlons down to the Jamestown fair congress has ap propriated a total of 2S,752,2."1 for world's fairs, of which only f!85,(IO hos lieen spent west of tho Hocky mountains, on the Lewis and Clark ex position. An Industrious calculator has esti mated that s 1 - ,.) was s-ient last winter by tin , eople of America for tho enjoyment f serious muslcmUBlc, that Is to (-a), as It la known In our concert halls nud opera houses, not thu music of tbe comic opera stage aud vaudeville bouse. Aspbaltlc layers have been found In Syria, near Kferle, a village nbout twenty-five miles northeast of the port of Eatnkla, along tho road leading to ward Aleppo, which has Issm declared by competent mining engineers to be not only rich in asphalt but also prac tically Inexhaustible. A meteor fell on the sailing vessel Ecllpso while on her way from New castle to Sun Francisco and mado a big bole. The crew tried for four days to keep the ship afloat and then aban doned It aud took to the boats. Two weeks later all but three, who bad suc cumbed to thirst, weru rescued. All the horses belonging to tho late Ilrltlsh ambassador nt Constantinople, Sir Nlcholus OVouor, havu been sold at auction. Tho usual notice was put In the local nowspapers, but the cen Bor took exception, as there were horses In thu list with the names of Pasha, Sellm and Hamuli, which he consid ered wns offensive to Turks, and the list bad to appear without thu names. French people havu decided views regarding the responsibility of men in pow er. A laid her has Ih'cii sent to Jul for a car for supplying thu army with bad meat. The damages assessed by a Paris court following n recent au tomobile iicclilent CO-.1 the owners $25, WKJ. When the Opera Combine burned In IKS" the uiaii.iglii;: director was lined Slo.H'ii and scut to pilson for tlinv mouths. Profi'sMir William Hallo, U, deuu of the dep iitiiicut of phvslcs 111 Columlil i university, who has given mine niton tlou to Illuminating ini-tln-ls. Im called nttentlon of New- York scientists to u compressed llluiitluaut, .whhh I called lllaugas and which e.iu be taken homo In hlccl bottles ami fed Into the bum ers by means of llttlu coplier tubes no larger than ordinal)' wiles. Tho sub stance Is named after lllati, a German scientist who discovered It. Kissing games are under tho ban In lehools controlled b) the Loudon conn ty council, which bus Issued the fol lowing notice to the head leai tiers "Attention lias lueu iliavwi to Hie fact that til some of (lie silioulii l.lHslog games are still jir.ntlii'l bv Ibe 111 dlell (Ml llieillelll gl'in.ill Hill the Is iiilisld I noil, .liable II. n. I inaslcri and lieaduil'diesiii t ir 1 uiul'io 'county colllii II hi li'iolM and iniunigcltt nf iiouprovlileil siiiiiola me then-rum to arrange that such games bo ilUeoii tjmieil." At n rcceut bullfight held In Spain to raise a chailt) fund the honors weio decidedly with the bull. Ho opened thu "sport" by killing two men out right, then tisised n third in or thu feuco and trampled on thu fourth. A few arguments of that sort will convince thu dons that bullfighting Is not sport for thu men. That lens which enables tbo vveurer to sco what Is going on all around aud about will probably find favor with schoolteachers and tho employers of ihaperoiis. Thu volunteer chaperon generally prefcis not to fcoe all that Is straight In front, uven. England's steel combination has a capital of f3Tn.om),(KJiit aud America's Heel tiust has one Just four times us large, jet wo fancy Londoners asking, Who buys Aincrli.au steel? After nil tho money Invested to do velop values lu Wall stiect, $3i 1,000,000 for nu urro of laud thciu Is not ridicu lous. Tbo rich mini with a poor appetite always wonders why to much fuss Is mado oier the "full dinner pall" lssno. No uso to Invent a noiseless Fourth if July to) p.tn until tho other bort Is put everlastingly out of business. With that eight billion dollar crop In lght It's row tlmo to "forget" tho panic, tj .',1 LY1 .'V,'.'!'-"' SCREW LOCKING DEVICE i Effectually Prevents Unsorewtng When Properly &t. The locking device Illustrated In tba accompanying engraving Is adapted tosl be used In connection with screws to prevent tho perpetration of thefts by tho removal of screws from dnot hinges, shipping coses snd the like. The looking device Is extremely stm Tie, consisting nf a ring or wnsbcr pro vided with ratchet teeth which cugago teeth formed on the underside of the head of the screw. The locking ring Is shown In detail In Fig. 2. Tbe serrated surface Is Indicated at II, and It en gages tbe surface A (Fig 3 of the screw head. On opposite stiles of this locking ring spurs, ( are formed which are adapted to be driven Into the wood LCH'KINO DEVICE FOn BCHEWS. to prevent the ring from turning with the screw. In use the screw Is first passed through tho central opening In the ring and Is tben fitted Into tho hole In tho wood. Tbe lro of tho ring Is adapted to snugly fit the screw so that It will properly Iw centered. It will ls ob served that tbo spurs C are offset and that their butts aro presented lieyond the periphery of the linking ring. This construction facilitates the oieratlon of seating the ring as the blows of the hammer limy Is- delivered UHn tho spurs without striking mid mnshlng the teeth II. When tho screw Is heated, the ratchet teeth A, engaging tho teeth II, will effectually prcvctit unscrew lug of tho screw. The Inventor of this locking devko Is Aiigustln Montes du Oca, Aartado C5, City of Mexico. MONKEY'S COLOR SENSE. Intarsating Experiment Mado by a German Naturalist. Dr. Dahl, the celebrated German nat uralist, relates some Interesting exiierl ments which bo made with a monkey. He colored some sweets with a certain colored dyu and somo bitter sulstaiici with that of another color. After a few attempts the monkey learned to leave without even tasting those arti cles of fiMsl which weru colored with the dye aud which Indicated bitter tast ing sutistunces ami seized at oucu upon those which Indicated sweets. Varying the exierlments sufficiently, soys tbe London Times, he found that tho monkey distinguished nil tho dif ferent colors readily save dark blue. Dr. Dahl rails attention to the fact that Mayer has stated that many savnge tribes cannot distinguish dark blua from black uml that even children dis tinguish this color later than nil others. Treee and Lightning. There Is u popular lsllef that certain trees aro less liable than others to be struck by lightning nnd that during a thunderstorm It Is quite safe to stand under n beech, for example, while tho danger under n resinous tree or an oak Is respectively fifteen or fifty times greater. This Is disputed In a recent writing by Dr. A. W. northwick In "Notes of tho Royal Botanical Garden of Edinburgh." The doctor says that no tree Is Immune since lightning will select one species quite ns readily as another nnd tho beech Is struck quite as frequently as nny other sjiccles. Ap parently the taller tris-s In n neighbor hood are the ones most llablo to bo struck. Contrary to what Is believed by some people, tbe cells arc not "rup tured or torn by tbu formation of steam, as might happen If the heating by the electric current was very great Tbo cells collapse and shrink up, but aro never torn." The root system does not seem to he ever damaged by light ning. THE HOME FRUIT GARDEN. Suggestions For Making It Profitable ae Well as Useful. The home fruit garden Is not ouly attractive when thu straw ls?rrles are lu bloom or lu fruiting or when the raspliorrlcs, currants, pears, iieacbes or other fruits are ready to pick. The home garden Is ever mi attractive spot. No member of the family, no visitor or other jK'rsort can puss this garden de voted to the growing of the various fruits fur home use without being at tracted to It. Such a home fruit gar den expresses much to the observer nt all seasons of the )ear. It speaks of contentment, of health ami of the home table embellished with beautiful mid delicious specimens of largo and small ft lilts. The location of the home fruit gar lieu should In as iiear the dwelling as possible. It may eiubline mi acle, half mi acre, quailcr of mi iicie or II may be outlined In the rear end of a foity foot lot In tow ' i it) If )oil have plulil) of laid, give the flillt gulden HOW' TO I'VCK IIKIIUIKS. llU'i'al space If )ou have simply a town or city lot, make the most of this small plot of ground at our d!sjn,su!( relliellibeilug that by Hitting bin k Hie new giowth every )ear on the fruit trees many of them can li grown in small spacu or on the borders near fences. You may have nun row devoted to grapovlnes, another row to nispbcr. rles, another row to blaekbeirles, an other to cutnuits mnl M'Vcral lows de voted to straw beriles, each row run lilng tho whole length of tho fruit gar den mid so planted its to admit of borsu cultivation. Tho dlsisal of the rows of apple, peach, pear, plum and cherry trees can lj easily arranged. Plant the rows of trees far enough apart to admit tho various rows of small fruits between the rows of treei. Grapevines will thrive equally well wheu trained to thu sldu nf thu house or to any other building or trained to the pillars of tho porches of thu bouse. If theru Is a surplus of fruit It may bo easily marketed. If sent to tho city It must bo carefully packed. Thu eiato shown In the sketch Is equipped with n tight wooden cover, yet Is sufficiently o'ii to allow the nlr tn circulate. It will bold about sixty qunrts of ber ries. New Wire Welding Proceie. A Parisian metalluiglcal engineer claims to have (leifected n process of welding eopH-r to steel wire ho as to niuku ii noucorroslvo coating. Many ad vantages, It Is said, will result from tbu usu of this new wire, such ns high tensllu strength nnd elasticity combined with Bmuller nirfuiu exposed to wind and sleet than would bu tbo enso with Iron wire of the earn" conductivity. H.IMTOIC t'tA -, T NEW SHORT STORIES The Bluff Worked. Frederick Kernochan, New York's millionaire magistrate, laughed at a dinner about the friends who are con tinually brought !s.'fnrc him for break ing tho speed laws In their motor cars "Most of them," ho snld, "pny tho fine and depart silently. Now and then, however, n defense Is put In tho strangest, tho most startling defense, llko that of tho Scottish mnrhor "A Pittsburg man has a shooting lodge In Scotland, and bis bend keeper caught a poacher one day stalking mkmlfam i -s . J Ha w w "WIUT AM YE Dots' THEHE?" along, with bis finger on the trigger of bis gun. "Hoot monl What nro ye doln' thecrr" the keeper growled. "The poacher whlsjiensl hurriedly. "'Hush! You ought to understand. Isn't jour master from Fcniis)lnulii! This Is a duel In the American st) le with shotguns, jou know. Tbe first to Bpy the other fires. What was that rustling? Look null I think my oppo nent seesjuel' "With a muttered apology tho game keeper hurried out of range." Senator Kean Interrupted. Senator Teller culled up n bill In the senate, giving Its number, nud nuked that It be passed, "The clerk will read It" fald the vice president, but the clerk bud not gono fnr before Senator Kean of New Jersey, thu'eagle e)e of thu senate, wns on his feet, apparently to Interpose nu objection. "It's all right. Don't object," whis pered Senator Gallliiger, who sat near Senator Kcuu. Tun eleik resumed reading, "An act to amend un act entitled an act to amend nu act" "Mr. President," Interrupted Mr. Kean. "I tell )ou It's nil right," whispered Mr, Gallluger again. it's tiot thu bill I object to; It's tho clerk," Mr. Keau whispered buck. "Whut's tho mutter with him?" asked Mr. Gallluger. "I dou't know," said Mr. Kean, "but It's evldeut that theru Is no bill with that ridiculous title." "He was reading correctly," assert ed Mr. Gullinger. "Just let him finish." So the clerk began all over again: "A bill to amend nil net entitled mi net to amend an act amending the net en titled nu act to authorize the receipt of United Stntes gold coin In exchange for gold bars." "Good Lord, Is that really the title of that bill?" exclaimed Mr. Kean. "I honestly thought tho clerk had gone suddenly lnsnne." Tbu bill was passed. New York Sun. Realistic. Mary Garden, tbo famous prima don na, compared during the recent Itlchard Mansfield sale thu old fashioned operas with such new works as "Thais," "Louise" and "Pelleas et Melllsande." With n laugh, she conciudisl: "An operatic rolu now means Hie vivid portrayal of a character. It meant lu thu past simply nn advance to tho footlights and nu exhibition of trills, rouludes nud all tho other vocal IlrcworkH. Tho servant maid went homu from thu old fashioned opera mid when bur mistress asked her how she liked It shu replli-.li " 'Gee, shu sung lovely Just lis If she wuz gurgllu'.' "New York Times. Blushing to Order. Mrs. Elinor 01 n, ns thu nuthor of several rather daring books, defended during her American visit her last book at lnmimcrahlu functions. "Conventions conventionality," she said nt n ten In New York, "such things remind me in their artltlciallty of u fa mous girls' school. "Thu lady principal of this school took her older pupils to tho National acudeui)'s spring show. Entering the bull of sculptures, sho was heard to Bay as shu looked up from her cata logue: " 'Attention, oung ladles! Wheu we come to tho next statuo but ouu you will nil blush.' " Not the Same Battle. Not long ago King Edwaid was vis iting il couiitiy house near the kiciio of one of tiouiwell's historic battles. Strolling out one day by himself, he met the village blacksmith reluming from n shooting expedition. "I say, my goisl fellow," said his majority genially, "I titulcisiuhil there was n big battlo fought somewhere about here?" "Well or," stmumi'icil tho black smith, lecognlzlng tho king, "I did 'me n round with Itill, the sitmmi, but I didn't know your majesty had heard of It." Popular Science. Ill San Francisco thu campaign against rats as spieailers of tho plague Is 11 subject of linltulsal discussion A conversation refuted by u witter lu the Call shows that thu topic has reached even the children. "Wot they hunting up nil rats fer?" "Aw, don't )cr know nothing? Hals has thu plague, an' If you see one you'd better look out, 'cause you'll gut It, too, ma) lie." "If )ou Just bee ii rat do )ou get It?" "Aw, don't )er know nothing? You'lo got the plaguu when )ou'vu been bit by u Ilea what's been bit by a rut what's been bit by n sailor." "Jennie Kitted foe" Too. Surah kissed toe win n we m?ti Ho illil Hate ami Us 1 1 und !nra; So dli Jane uml VI.. 1. 1, Dolly, CluriUl ami Flout. They all liked mo pletty welt, Anddear girls! they never hldlt I don't llko to kiss and tell HUH they ill.l It. Lalcr In the day I met tAml Halutcdl Mauil'i nnd Palsy, Ami I also kissed l.'ozettc, Clurn, Julia, Itath and Malnl.i. Oh. I'm sorry fur Ilsh Hunt, I who'vo had uo mniy, many! Wtilto mor Irish's onu vaunted stunt Wus with Jenny. An Incendiary. "If an heiress has money to burn." Balil the prince, with a nod nnd scratch, "Why, I really enrn't noo, iloncl.crnn. Why I should not help v. Kli a mutch." Yonkere Htatciman. In Wall 8treet. "What does ex. dividend mean?" "Money coming In that you're al ready spent." Now Ye-" Life. mm-. f SIHES AND SONS. Senator Sutherland of Utah la tbav only senator who wns bora In Rn gland. Senator A, J, Derertdge of Indiana reads detective stories for relaxation after a hard day In the senate. Mr. Justice tlsrlan of the Onlted 8tatee supreme court has ft In mlDd to write bis reminiscences and may retire from the bench to do IL Mr. J, J, Jusacrand, tbe French am bassador to this country, la an author ity tn English literature. Ills work on tbe subject weigh eleven pounds. President Itooscrelt hss accepted thS presidency of the International con gress on tuberculosis, which will be held In Washington In the autumn. Admiral Evans' flag has bean low ered from his flagship for tbe last time. When he Is retired In August there will be left no naval commander who has a civil war record. Mr. George Wyndham, M. "tho best dressed man In London," la the Idol of tho ladles' gallery. lie Is to parliament what George Alexander and Lewis Waller ara to the stsge. Fifty-seven years In the locomotive cab as fireman and engineer and never an accident Is tho record of Sylvester O. Cnnney of Salem, Mass. Mr. Can ncy, who Is now retired. Is eighty years old. The Hon. Diehard Olney, one of Bos ton's most brilliant lawyers and emi nent citizens, Is to sever fits connec tions with Ilostou as a voter and citi zen nnd will hereafter Is) known as a resident of Fnlmouth, which for many )enrs has lieen his summer homo. tlrcvct Major General Daniel n. tlucker is tho oldest eoldier In thu serv ice of tho United States. Ho waa born In 1812. He spent forty-five years with the colors. On the 28th day of April ho was nlnety-slx years old. Ho Is still hale and hearty and enjoy his ripe old age with a full and contented mind. A Yrsda Payment Tho Tatlcnt Doc, I can't pay you Da money whllo I ain't got none a'ready. VIII you dake It uud In trade! The Dentist Well, I might consider that What's your business? The Patient I lead a leedle Cholman band. Veil come aroundt und sere nade you effry nlghd for a toonf yet Cleveland Leader. At Long Range. "I sec you read a great deal of min ing literature." "Yes." "Did you over go prospecting for gold?" "No; I can lose enough time and money merely prospectustng." Wash ington Star. The 8pare Room. Like Bluebeard'e secret chamber locked up tight. Kept all the year without a speak of light A perfectly Imperial brass bed. With downy plllowa and a anowr apread, A gorgeous bureau redolent of pine. A couch on which 'twere barbarous to re olloo. Borne chairs that coet well, goodness knowe tho Bum; Tho furniture upholstered In rloh plum It's worth your life to even peep tn there. That ehowy, useless room that'a oalled "the aparol" La Tuuche Hancock In New York rreie. Unpoetlo. "Don't you enjoy the glories of sum mer?' "Yes," answered tbe unpoetlc per son; "it Is something of a comfort to find tho gas bills getting so much smaller." Wasp. The Usual Teat "Yes; he's tho most popular man la our consular service." "Great diplomat, eh?" "No; great entertainer." Cleveland Plain Dealer. An Optical Illusion. There waa a gtrl In our town. And sho waa none too wise. Hut sho wore a dotted veil which made Myopia both her eyes. And now when through her spectacles This person nrchly beams It beats tho dickens, yes. at least. How very wise she seems -rittebuii; Tost Ho Merely Breathes. Pepprey You don't mean to aay that you absolutely do nothing? Cholly Aw, I don't even do that My man attends to evewythlng, you know. ruck. 8uro Thing. "I suppose your Intention of camp ing out Is tentative?" "Oh, don't hesitate about that Yes, there'll bo plenty of tents." Balti more American. The 8chool on the Hill. Tho school that rcets upon tho hill. With ehutterB long and KTeeTi, Ita Bhmlows bring to ma a thrill And whot up memories keen. I see once more the master grim. That selfsame righteous man; Again I throw dried peas at him And feet the name rattan. Denver News-Times. Cause For Embarraismont, "Sho sayb sho foels embarrassed In her bathing suit" "Possibly It's a llttlo out of Btyle," answered Miss Cayenne. Washington Star. Paradoxical, "I admit bo's lazy, but he's got the making of a good man In him." "Yes; all he needs Is to have some liody kick It out of him." Philadelphia Press. The Olrl Oraduata. Bhu understood botnny, loulc and Dutch Ami fencing nnd Swedish gymnaatlca and &uch; Shu was thoroush In Greek and la Latin expert, And ehu asked for a gridiron to Iron a shirt! KanaaB City Tlmea. Her Father. "Whut did father say when you asked htm for me?" "Ho didn't buy anything. He fell on my neck and wept" Iloston Post About It "What do )ou think of this remark ablo new fnco food?" "I should call It a skin game." Har vard Lampoon. Real Optimism. It Is easy enough to be cheerful When life Uko a song drlfta br, Ilut the man worth while la the man who can smllo With a chunk of coal In hla eye. Chicago Ilecord-llcrald. Tho Average Man's Idsa. "novo ou ever read 'Self Help?"' "No. Whut's tho use? What I want most Is outsldo help." Chicago Record-Herald. 8ayt the Woman Hater. That "all la fair In love and war" lly Bomo one has been aald. In other words, all'B fair before And after yuu are wed. Boston lobe. The True Explanation. "Barker Is always railing at some thing. Ho Is very skeptical." "No, not skeptical dyspeptical." Omaha Bee, Fearing the Old Man. He meant to pop the questloa. Hut prudonce bade turn atop, For evon If accepted He'd have to question pop. -Philadelphia Press. Firmly. "Do you believe la auto suggestion?" "Sural That's what mad ma buy a Ml motor carr-Baitlmore New a. Oliver Chilled Plows 8TILL TAKE THE LEAD.! Om?,jo,ooo lbs. of Plows andJUepairs received in February, tooS this cut.bhovvs:the No. .56 We'istso have Tho If. in I ....... is,. . ... U..V.I ' xv"l,mf uann now. atnVk ifpi Ue,m' ,fl,eTlr ,old l",vvyne ail-, u - """ ..-eiii - en omul i j. r.. telle; e WOOdmsnee, latket'omni It N. KIP. i ri0wl.''iHoi1lfJ'.!. w- Shaffer, Georgetown; h. tli lloilroo. .st.rlmg; C. F Kenam, Uxlgedaln; y. (, llaniee, Oreentnwn.nnd VVntts s lloiies laleand llnwie) Slores THE OLIVER BULKY PLOW CANNOT BE BEAT. Honesdale and nnRIJAH URTTO Honestfale.nnd Hawley Stores bnAHAM W A h. Hawlev Stores - - -Sash, Doors and Winds, Front Sasli Door, Scvvcr Pipe, find HuiMenT Hardware of Every Description. Agricultural Implements: Harrows, Cultivators, Lawn .Mowers, Uravel and Tarred Hoofing, llarb Wire, Woven Kentr Win-, Poultry Netting, and Lime and Cement. PLUMBING IN ALL ITS BRANCHES. Ksllniatee gl'enon short i.otice for lint Air and SI mm Mini. Bicycles aon - Vllhl 112IjA."VA.11 l2 V: IllTOSOIN OO. HONI'.SDALi: IIIIANCH lastmunilTrtlni In Kneel .U NK at, in, west liniiii.l Trains. BUQilarUQlr. Ualljr.eicrpt Hundsr. I ti et ti S3 I Tus Htatlons. 101 I'N r. m.. r. h a to 15 SO1 r. s. B 111 m , s.y Leave ..Arrive 1 to, s li ..rarboml.ili'. . i it m 1 1 M it to r a no) rs auj ...Lincoln Ave., Wlilles... . .Karvtew . ...t'sn.iiii ..Lake Loilore.. . .. Wamart ......Ki-ene Sleeoe I'rompton. . . .....Portents.. .. ....Heclyilllo. . ....HOUI'SilAlP.... ri ei V rs 14 r s m rs si it si nun it it u t I as re n rs n l 1 II V 19 B S3 104' 131 I ol 1 1 I! n is t i 4i n IS f J 44 fl BU I 1 4B V 4 11 t M B Bl a n IB u rs s f 43 ( 6 ft BO; r.M.I B 51 r ss rv Jt n 31 10 OU II) 10 OS, rt 94 r ii r u n slit i ts re 45 10 11 lu is r.it. Ir. a. ! a. H.lArrlte I ,1 . J IAf V OUj f Indiralea sag bUUods. C . 81M3,M Vice President. J. W. IIUKIIIUK, rassenerr Tratllo Manv-rr A. A. Heard, General l'assensvr Agent, Altmnr. n. V. Trig is the most NBW'YOrK useful, entertaining, Tribune national illustrated AGRICULTURAL FAMILY weekly in the United States. Farmer PRICE, ONE DOLLAR A YEAR. Send your name for free sample.copy. New-York Tribune Farmer, Tribune Building, N. Y. THE HONESDALE WILSON V PENNIMAN Proprietors. Established In ia4. Book and Job Work Promptly KRAFT & CONGER, Sitceaors to E. D. uaooaii General Insurance Agents HONESDALE PA uriiiimiiil TBI roLiowiiiB oomimi: iBTNA, of Hartford. AACHEN MON1CIJ, of Germany, AHSniOAN, of Niwark, N. J. CONTINENTAL of New York. FMtH ASSOCIATION, of Philadelphia LIVERPOOL LONDON ULOIIE of England. NORTHERN, of England. NORTH BRITIBlf MERCANTILE of England. NORTH EBTERN NATIONAL, of Milwaukee SPKiNG FIELD V. at M. of aprlngdeld, Uata. rRAVELEK'SLIfE ACCIDENT, of Hartford. FIDELITY CABUALTC, of Philadelphia. H.J. CONGER. J. ADAM KRAFT Kodol For Indigestion ,Uur uuaranlee toupon If. aftftr itrtvtfalrtli al li.co bollla of Kodot. yam ea boUMtlf It bas not bano- w mil rtnnc roar mwr, i rr if sn lauuiti. PIU oot nd lUMnnf, srtit&t tt lo l dfiltr t f enrctuu. If II fill! lo UtUfr TOD rttnrn (h bout MtUlalpf ooMhiri of tb txUalia tbi AtaJtf f ran whom jott bombl It, ud vtli tutu ror noatr, -CMlYfcU Out- Digests WhatYouEai And Hakes the Stomach Sweet B. C. XMWITT ft CO., Clittaiso, IU. Bolts by PEIL, Tho Druggist. MARTIN CAUFIELD Hannraotarsr ot Monumental Work Honesdalo Pa. Inflammatory Ilheumatum Curea tn Three Dti. Morton I UIU, of LeDAQ0D( In4., sajs t "Mr w.f aaxx ma sUuiDsiuirjr itueiuu&utuii m ovtrrj hiubcid im loUtlf lier iuffertinf wu terrible tod tier body and ace were uwollei. almott beyond reooy oltloo t bad lawn in IbmI fnr al tt w(k anil bail etirht uLvutclailH. but recelTed 110 benent uuUl abu Ufed Itiu MjraUo i;ure for Klteoiuat bun. H trara lmmedUla relief and $txo waa able to walk about In three day. I am auro t aateu ner me." uum vj &vnwwmt viumi UODoadala. fa, wol . HAIR BALSAM Hr ajbbI t mift tkt hati Fall J aaar Otayl mm Mfmi A4V If SIDE HILL, No, 57, a size smaller. -ssyi'l .. .n vve also Keep in siock ine cio. e, ri, .i" aim count v. Tli billowing Hutu A gent htep i many, I'leasaui moiiih : r, A. l .11 nn v. im ii Fsrlnv. l-'iiiilmtnlf ; A.J. Al.rnliMin. Iltilllee llorsn H:tkes, Mowing Mattliinrs, Iron cL Sn n dries. lntl),exrt'M miii.1i) MIII'll) Olll) K.I llil I'M jlft I'. M S SI s i; s II I SI : ti I 4! I : I txi ti 30 fl M I I l f i n st i nu b in ; M i vn 6 an n . f i in s vi II II I It Hi , 13 ll II 41 II 3! I II 31 93 ri. & I l HI1 ri vr in nn It HI I 1 111 13 111 J i: is ii 4 M 4 M I " -! It VJ ' II 211 ri ii' 113 as II IP'I lis 3.'. n m nt ai I II Is II 45 II II ' II ir. II 12, I 11 i"l II 01 IS V7. I IB es tu '.'I tl 31 K 11 l II V Leave 11 00 4. M.I ' A.M. r.s. Ir.s. r.M. r. M. thoroughly Both of these papers one year for only $2.00 if you send your order and money to THE CITIZEN Honesdale, CITIZEN Executed. THE CLARK & SNOVERCO. (live below a list ol Dealers In Honesdale and Vicinity who handle G. & S. TOBACCO Honesdala rVrluT Drothnrs A hhfthardt W II Holllll'K J Usoar Ttrrel .lohu Uani;ert II Bishop Tneodoru (. Urunlc Mr. V Kroll OnorKo U Kunlilu J H Bteenur II llellly J W Sharimlwn & llrother D Si O Srolls A A (JrtitutiH Menner & Co Katz Brothers Clark & Bullock MrsN (1 Polt Honry ('round W L Burnurd Antonio Uarliitri W h llermiin Jacoli A IIIIIit U Biullh Si Hon 1'iil ru k Wnlr Hawley Atkinson .V tiilnni M It llarietl Vf II lliKnrt I'.l Mower M Coiionin Fniuk Foster Mm T MHiicnii (J II W'nuilwiird E J HIi'harilHon .laineii 11 Allies Mnry A Wiiternon K V Swincle John Curran F I,Tuttlo& Co Welsh Jt Ames E It SchlttRer Ueorpo Awi'ii Heniy F lieu 1. 11 l'tillz Whits Mills Hainuel HniiiuliTS Edwntd T Kelluy Margaret Hlnvlii If vc should attempt to give n list of those who TXSIE IT it would take a dozen newsiaier Olio of the heiit teblllnoiiiills of the ex I'ellont iuallty of Clark & Snover Tobacco the fuel that tlioen who now ihi H Urty l thirty years ago, nud not ouo of iHin wotii d chHW or mnukH any other biandif il wero fiivou to f hem. THE CLARK & SNOVER CO., 1 12 to Yii Allium Ave., HCllANTON, Pa LIMP, LIMP ' Oh, That Corn!" How one can nufTor with micli a corn I To look at, U'h filniont nothing, but tho hurt that'll whr tonm count. Now the lotiRiifnTliiK thoio who ha?M falthrnlly ttitU loin of corn curea without elTtwt. may ijiutution our ulalt)tunl, hut, nevHilhuleBs, we mako tt, and it'n Iruo. Wo havo a corn t-uie that will tako out your form rooli aud all. If iiiied according to dlrectioni It will leave no Hureiicfi', We warrant It your money hack IF you aro not mitiatfed. Call Inr RUSSIAN CORN CURE. " O.T. CHAMBERS. Pharmacist Opp. U.4 II. STATION, UONF.HDALI'J, - PA WM. CIESEKE THE. PEOPLE'S TAILOR. You lay less and dress belter. Get the infill nf hiivinp nur loo nor cent, nure wool, strictly fast color goods. V. .ii urill find nur r1nl)i vrrv differ. ent from the ordinary ready-to-wear garments you meet at every turn. Latest Stvies and Perfect Fit Prices Reasonable at WM. GIESEKE'S no; Main St, Ilonesdaie, Near Uu-Town-llridge.