The Morehouse clarion. [volume], April 02, 1880, Image 4

About The Morehouse clarion. [volume] (Bastrop, La.) 1874-1904

Image provided by: Louisiana State University; Baton Rouge, LA

                
Slinking - Himself.
Benjamin Franklin Gardner,'
who has been connected with the'
nress of Pittsburg for two or three
ye'ir-s pa.-t, in tbo capacity of
local reporter, has taken charge
of the Emleutou Register, a
weekly paper published in the
h.wer oil country, during the
temporary absence of the editor
Htid proprietor, Mr. A. A. Hnl
ing8. Gardner anticipating that
his career in the Register was
likely to be brief, concluded to
make the most of it, and this
week, on assuoiiug charge, he
came out in a three-quarters of
a column editorial, head "HaUita
tory, as It Were—and Valedic
tory, as It may Be," that ought
to secure him a permanent "sit
on the paper if there is tiny ap
preciation of genuine merit tu the
absent, publisher. "Mr. Heul
ings," remarks Gardner in the
introductory, "has gone to Brad
ford, ' n n business,' he said, but
of course we dou't know, and we
might add we don't ca - e. When
he will return is a question that
does not iuterest us in the lea 4.
So far as we are concerned, he
is at liberty to stay away as long
as he pleases."
A^tei this exhibition of mag
nauimity upon the part of the
new editor he congratulates him
self that he at last has had an
opportunity to "sling himself,"
as it were, in the control of the
columns of a newspaper. "His
experience as a journalist," he
says, "has been confined to the
narrow and restricted sphere o
a reporter, an I a reporter on a
city paper id simply a nonentity
He has no show at all. For sev
eral years we have ground out
copy for the city press, and a
deal of it we have had the pleas
ure of seeing a base slave, styled
the city editor, dump into the
wast** basket. Nay, more than
til ttiere would not be an origi«
ual idea left; we have been as
signed to work all>ight on a
'special,' and îhen be quietly in
formed in the morning that we
had been ignominioualy scooped
by the h —II hounds of the oppo
sition,"
The new editor then goes on
to tell the readers of the Register
what sort of improvements they
may expect in the absence of the
proprietor. "The readers of the
Register," he says, "will prob
ably remember that heretofore
•Jaggers' Phunny Sayiugs,' un
der a country cat, which repre
sented a devil leaning over a
fence laughing, was a feature of
the paper. Well, that is changed;
we threw that cutout of the back
window and had the pleasure of
seeing it sink in the river." We
also cut out a lot of dead ads.
am bound to run this paper this
week, on purely business princi
ples, if I have to space it out."
The new editoi now tells his
readers the difficulty he had in
haviog the compositor change
the style of the editorial type
from "long primer" to "brevier,"
accomplishing his object only by
informiug him of the fact that he
(the new editor) was runniDg the
paper no*, and adds: "I expect
he will kick on this, but if he
does 1 will fire him ont of the
back window.'
Attention ig next called to the
fact that the prononn "we" oc
curs frequently in his editorial.
Heretofore, he says, he has been
confined to "yonr reporter,"
"your representative," and other
like insignificant and indefinite
phrases; but on this occasion he
terme himself "we," which, he
!
;
!
adds, "means 'ine' and the pa
per."
Gardner concludes his edi
! torial in this mainor: "As we
; remarked before, we did uot
! know how Mr. Hilling will ap
preciate our efforts to improve
his paper; we anticipate however I
that be will object to the alla- 1
aions made to himself. However !
we hope that his judgment wili j
prevail to an extent sufficient to
keep him from sueing his own j
paper for libel.'
Mr. Gardner contemplates re i
turning to the city as soon as in
formation is obtained that ihe
proprietor of the Register is
heading ior Emlenton --[Pitts
burg Leader.
A («allant Man.
The Chicago Inter-Ocean tells
the following goad story about
the mud iu the .street.- of New
Y ork :
A Western lady stopping tem
porarily in New York, who en
joys a good joke aud is quick at
repartee, was standing stiil, con
templating, a crossing of un
known depth, and wondering how
she would accomplis» its pas
sago, when she was accosted by
an honest-looking but huge spec
men of mankind with the ques
tion—
"Want to get across, miss?"
"Yes, but I am afraid of drown
ing," replied the lady.
"I will help you," returned the
man; and suiting the actiun to
the word, he picked her up, and
gracefully carried her across the
gulf.
As be stood her upon the solid
gidewalk the lady looked upon
his honest face, and savd:
"How long are you going to
be here? I want to get back
again."
The lady tells the joke, but
does not give his reply. She
probably got back safe, however,
and certainly appreciates the
necessary by the nnfathomed
mud in the streets of Gotham.
A MONSTER VAMPIRE.
In a store in Summit street
may be seen an animal the like
of which but few people in To
ledo have ever seen. It is a
monster South Asian vampire,
the much-dreaded "blood-suck
er" of that country This rare
creature, perhaps the only living
specimen of the kind in this coun
try, is about one and a half feet
long, bas a pair of piercing black
eyes which shine like diamonds,
a double row of sharp teeth, sim
ilar to those of the weaeel, and
ite powerful wings when stretched
its full length measure two and a
half feet from point to point. The
vampire hangs suspended from 8
bar in the center of its cage by a
pair of formidable claws, and
when in repose resembles a
closed umbrella. Its body is
covered with a comfortable coat
of brown far, while its beauti
fully porportioned head, which
has a remarkable similarity to
that of a diminutive black-and
tan terrier dog, is surmounted
by a pair of large shell-shaped
ears. This strange creature is
almost totally blind during the
day but at night its little eyes
twinkle with astonishing bril
liancy. Tho vampire is kept in a
temperature of about seventy de
grees, in order to conform as
nearly as possible with the cli
mate of his native home.—[To
ledo (0.) Commercial.
The house-fly, if in good health
can lay 20,000 eggs in a season.
The Danbnry News thinks it a
pity a fly can't be grafted on a
hen.
Set Colonel, Hut Judge.
The further a man goes Weet
in the United States, and gets
acquainted, the iess use he finds
for his 'Mr." Raw civilization
in the newer settlements demands
a more pronounced
handle
for
| 1)S nam e, and very likely flit
1 |, atu l[ e will take the place of the
! UP(IÛOi An exchange illustrates
j . he ca j, r ice of thesa Western
title«, and tells a clmr ictersitic
j aIU , c( l 0 (e.
The traveler who journeys
i wes tward in our , favored land
should make up his mind to ac
cept, without demur, such mili
tary or judicial rank aud title as
may be conferred upon him. H>->
may be quitn sure, too, that
when his brevet has once been
settled west of the Missouri by
proper authority, it will cling to
him as long as ho remains in that
legion.
"I don't half like," one ) re
marked a Scotch fellow-traveler
of the writer to a friendly group
at Denver, "the promotion back
v.ar-r-d which I receive. Eist
of Chicago I was Colonel; at
(^icngo | was Major; at Omaha
a man called me Captain, and
offered me dinner for thir-r-ty
five cents!"
One of the group, after a care
ful survey of the face aud figure
before him, the kindly yet keen
expression, and the iron-gray
whiskers, replied, "You ain't
Colonel wnth a cent. I allow
that you're Jedge!"
And "Je Ige" he was from that
time forth. Nobody called him
anything else. Newly-made ac
quaintances, landlords, stage
drivers, conductors, all used this
title, until his companions began
to feel as if they bad kuown him
all his life in that capacity.
The pressure of water on the
ain reser
N. Y-, was
main reservoir in x *
recently so greatjb^
iu a ton, aud threw
it fifty feet, The water that
followed rose one hundred and
fifty feet, struck the einbaukment
of the Troy aud Boston Railroad
and washed away twenty-five
feet of it. •
There is a young man by the
name of Sutherland, living in the
town of Lebanon, Wampaca Co,,
Wisconsin., who has a singular
peculiarity. No hair has ever
grown on his head, neither has
he ever had any teeth, yet he is
23 vears old.
To My Friends aud Patrons.
I expect to be from home a
couple of weeks replenishing my
stock of goods, and will on my re
turn, exhibit a large assortment of
nearly everything found in a first
class country store and will give
liberal prices to all. J. S. Handy.
Ex-Governor Palmer, of Illi
nois, has publicly announced
himself as a c&ndidate for the
Democratic nomination for Pres
ident at the Cincinnati Conven
tion.
Trae courage teaches ns, in
the midst of life's groat comfosis,
to be wiliing to die, and in the
midst of :ts greatest crosses to
be willing to live.
Top buggies, steel bows, etc., at
Hondy's $<J0. All leather top bug
gies at Handy's 8122 50. Worth
S 150 in New Orleans. A bargain—
open buggies at Ilandy's §77 50
to §80.
NOTICE—I will pay the cash at
a small discount, for claims against
the parish, good notés, city ac
ceptances, etc. J. S. HANDY.
Be mindful that the present
time alone is ours, as the past it4
dead, and future yet unborn.
He who loves little, prays lit
tle ; he who loves much, prays
much.
B. biibernagel, Sr.,
—DEALER IX
Ut y
«fv
at
Ami General Merchandise,
Bastrop, Louisiana.
Wo have now in store the largest an !
mo.-'t comp'ete assort ment of general mer
chandise ever brought to this market.
Gentleraens' and Boys' Wear,
Ladies and Children s Dress Goods
iSheetings, 1 > irnestics,
Kerseys, Flannels, Drillings,
Blankets, Tickings, Jeans,
Boots. Shoes, Hats,
Hardware, Wood and
Willow Ware,Ktc.
Returning thanks for the past liberal
pateonuge received from the people ol
.Morehouse, we hope to merit and solicit
a continuance of the same.
THE SUNTGER
SßwiiiST Maoliiiiß
Acknowledged to be the THE BEST
NOW SOLI-). Uewaru of worthless imi
tation machines. ^
machine in
Morehouse parish, with headquarters at
Bastrop. Persons desiring the genuiu«
machine should call on him. Machines
no kl ou thu installment plan.
Daniel Neuwirtli,
Bastrop. Louisiana,
BAKER and CONFECTIONER
AND KKALKR IN
Family & Fancy Groceries,
Consisting in part of
Bacon, Lard, Sugar,
Coffee, Flour, Teas,
Rice, Cheese, Butter,
Oranges, Apples, Raisins,
Preserves, Jellies, Spices
Sauces, Almonds, Pecans,
Butter Nuts, Walnuts,
Oysters, Lobsters. Salmon,
Sardines, Canned Fruits,
Stick and Fancy Candy,
Fresh bread and cakes always on
hand. Call and see ine. I shall en
deavor tc make mv prices suit the times.
nov22 DÂN'L NEUWIRTH.
Established iu 1852.
MICHEL LEVY,
FALLS INTO THE LINE OF BATTLE
Fortified and armed with c, Luge stock
of Fall and winter
BRÏ GOODS.
Enough for everybody, all to bo boM
just above coat.
He means business in the strictest sense
af the word. No humbug. I rial solic
ited.
m *. »V. n\isHi*unjr,
STATE AND PARISH TAX
COLLECTOR,
Office at A. L. Bussey's Drug Store,
BASTROP, LA.
FOR BALE,
AT A VERY LOW FIGURE FOR
CASH a desirable residence in Bastrop,
with half a square of ground- Also 35
acres land iu the limits of the corpora
tion. Apply to
NEWTON k HALL, Atty's.
John Cliaife & Sons,
Cotton Factors,
AND GENERAL
Commission 3Ierc liants,
NO. 52 UNION STREET,
NEW ORLEANS.
WANTED TO KNOW !
(are the brick wells.
Made by A. Curtis
: What tliey arc Represented to lie '
We, the undersiguod, who have had
wells made by Mr. Curtis are satisfied
they are the best wells now in uso, it
bricked with good brick and mortar.
They are everlasting wells, cutting off
all seap water, and if we wanted a per
manent well would prefer this to any
other, and consider they would be
cheaper than recurb'ng an old well. \\ e
have been using said wells from one to
six years aud are perfectly satisfied with
ho m.
G B Marable, M. D. .1 Harvey Brigham
JL Pratt Isaac T Nail,
James Bussey D M Evans
J Win Brown (riles M Croxton
Wm Lawhead John R Brodnax
A Fried ham W T Hall
J Lee Petti t II H Natl
Benj Silbernagel Sr .) S Haiuly
E K W Ross Joseph Levy
B V McDonald J T Dalton
Henry Schneider TjH Sparks
JHenrvGrayMD Mat Levy
B C Hall W R McUreiglit M D
H H Sandors J H Jones
Wm P Douglass A L Anderson
W E McMeaus J 0 Fleweilen
I could get twice as many names
within two miles of town. A. Ct'RTIS
To those that wish to go into the bus
iness, the plain facts are : I am CG years
old aud cau dig and brick 3Ü feet in sand
iu 10 hours with the assistance of two
couiuYon laborers. This is a well three
feet in diameter, requiring 36 brick to
the foot. The price I a'ik is $2 per foot
which uo one, knowing the cost of dig
ging, etc , and the disposition to lie made
of the profits, cau say is too much.
I patented the well for charity's sake
aud will pui.-tkom du y ix on til'.' fojjow
jyfOtlFssIjall be deposited with I fie au
thorities of the town, city or puriah
which they are made, said fund to be ap
propriated to the benefit of the poor and
helpless. 2d The balance, 90 per cent ,
to be deposited in any safe bank subject
to my order or my agents order. The
reason that so small a portion of
the profits are left where they are
put down is that there is uot more than
one teuth of the United States that thoy
can be put down in. It is a plenty and
will clothe the naked and feed the starv
ing wherever they can lie used. Not one
cent shall be appropriated for education.
While I don't wish to sell territory I can
give employment to thousands for a roy
alty. A . CURTIS.
IMPROVk , STR ENGT i I E iV
and PB K SERVE the EVES
— by using —
Wendell's Perfect Fitting
SPECTACLES & EYE -GLASSES.
—foh 8 alk ii y —
IP. S. ROLLE1QH,
J JEWELER and OPTICAN,
bastrop, LOUISIANA.
Spectacles and to suit any eye. Gold
rings, breast-pins, shirt-studds, brace
lets, cuff buttons, watch-guards, and
everything to be found in a tlrst-class
jewelry shop, including the celebrated
C alenrak Clock , price only $15. Spe
cial attention paid to repairing. All
work guaranteed.
Country orders promptly attended to.
Wedding rings made to older.
jauy P. S. ROLLEIGII.
.1 mil. FJ1XTOJY 4* Co.,
FOUNr-KRS, machinists and
MANUFACTURERS' AGENTS
VICKSBURG, MISS.
This firm carries in warehouse full
stock of Plantation Machinery. Engines,
Horse Powers, Gm Stands, Grist Mills,
Cotton Presses, Belting and Packing
raid all kinds of fittings, etc.. etc. And
in addition, have every department of
their large manufacturing aud repair
establishment in full operation.
augusWO-Sm
W m. XI. Graham
BASTROP, LOUISIANA,
Brickmaker and Layer.
Is prepared to do all work ertrusted
to him quickly and in a workmanlike
manner. Tombs, cisterns, chimneys and
other work solicited. Orders left at II.
D. Vaughan's will be promptly attended
to. aug<42-6m
Grapes ! Grapes !
JILL f\IMl IE TIES.
Price—25 Cents Apiece.
Apply to JOHN L PRATT.
f-9 Watches*3to»7. Revolver*.
12.50. Orer 100latest Novelties.'
r at A« « wTmu»- ♦o.e.i^jOo
THE
Warehouse Clarion,
A Weekly Newspaper Published i
BASTROP, LOUISIANA,
Offers Superior Inducements as
an Advertising 1 Medium,
We are Prepai % d to turn out as good
JO it Il 'OilSÂ
AS ANY COVKTRY OFFICE
In the Statt
terms of scbsckiptio.*
! One year in advance 2 01
! Six months I .'0
Three mouths <0
Reasonable Discount to Those who
Advcif i .se by the Year.
IT IS INTENDED TO MARK
r iP 11 o 01 : c s ■ s o r. s
A PAPER FOli THE PKOl i.W.
AM.HON'IW JOHN M. O.H>I>I8
J. PINCKNKY .SM ITH.
iïann&îomls, Umldis & Co.,
COTTON FACTORS,
— A XI) —
Oeueral GounuissioD Mordwinfs,
<>5 and <;? Carondelet street,
NEW ORLEANS.
Will make liberal advances and sell
on consignment, cotton, sugar, molasses,
rice, tobacco, wool, grain, live stock and"
country produce of all kinds. Having
favorable connections here and in the
West for the pmchaso of supplies, all
orders will receive strict attention, and
the interest of patrons will be closeiy
guarded in price, packing and freight
ontract. aug8 , y
"s. T. W. Meek's
G E N E HAL A G E N" Y
For portable and stationary ergi 'ies
of different styles, saw and gr-'st mills,
cotton gins, wagons, buggies, cane and
sorghum mills, evaporators, and improv
ed agricultural implements. I 'croons de
ftirmiu <>f n.iri.l,»«;..., »-1 ^vell
receive advantages by bii 7 :., B throng/i
this agency. Address,
S. T. W. MEEK,
Hamburg, Ark.,
by letter, who will promptly respond in
person. Reters to Messrs. John Bussey,
A. L Bussey, W. A. Harrington, C'ol, J.
Wm. Brown and Hon. Jas. Bussey.
ESTABLISHED 1X71.
W. EMBXJIUG'S
Bread and Cake Bakery,
BASTROP, LA.
W. Embling's bread wagon delivers
fresh bread in town, Prairie Mer Rouge,
Bayou Bartholomew, Lind Grove, and
Gum Swamp when regular orders are re
ceived Special attention paid to the
supplying of fish frys, barbecues, public
dinners etc. Wedding cakes nia'le on
the shortest notice. juneü8-y
JOHN IIAMAH^
HOUSE & SIGN PAINTER
—AND—
PAPER HANGER.
BASTROP, LOUISIANA.
EyStoclr taken in part payment for
work.