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The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, September 11, 1909, Image 6

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Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn86058226/1909-09-11/ed-1/seq-6/

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AS Susan set the basket down it began to squawk.
"I don't care," she said, "let it squawk!"
"But what " asked Mrs. Lathrop, in whose
L kitchen Susan had set the basket down and in
whose kitchen chair Susan was now setting her
lelf down.
"Let it squawk," Susan repeated; "I guess it's made
trouble enough for others so that I may in all conscience
feel to set a little while without troubhn' myself. I look
upon it that I was very kind to take it anyhow, not hav
ing no idea how it'll agree with the chickens when it
comes to eatin . or with me when it comes to eatin it,
for you know as I never cared for 'em, Mrs. Lathrop,
but still a friend is a friend, and in Mrs. Macy's state
to-night the least her friends could do was for Gran'ma '
Mullins to stay with her an' for me to take the duck.
Gran'ma Mullins was willin' to sit up with a under-the-weather
neighbor, but she said she could not take a
duck on her mind too, an' a spoiled duck at that, for I
will in confidence remark, Mrs. Lathrop, as you only
need to be in the room with that duck to see as the
Prodigal Son was fully an' freely whipped in comparison
to the way as he's been dealt with."
I really " protested Mrs. Lathrop.
"Well, I d'n know, but it will be a savin o' breath in
the end," said Miss Clegg, and thereupon arose, laid hold
of the squawking basket, bore it into the next room,
and coming out shut the connecting door firmly behind
. her. -r
" Where under the " began Mrs. Lathrop.
! "It's really quite a long story," returned her friend;
"but I come in just to tell you, anyhow. It's Mrs.
Macy's story, an' it begun when she went in town yes
terday mornin', an' it's a story o' trials, an' I will say
this for Mrs. Macy, as more trials right along one after
another I never hear of, an' to see her sittin' there now
t in her carpet slippers, with a capsicum plaster to her
back, an' Gran'ma Mullins makin' her tea every minute
she ain't makin' her toast, is enough to make anyone
as is as soft an tender-hearted as I am take any duck,
whether its' spoiled or not. An so I took it'
"Well, I" exclaimed Mrs. Lathrop.
" You think not now," said Susan, " but you soon will
when I tell you, for, as I said before, I come over just
to tell you, an' I'm goin' to begin right off. It's a long
story, an' one as'll take time to tell, but you know me,
an' you know as I always make time to tell you every
thin, so you can rely on gettin the whole hide an' hair
o' this an' you'll get it fresh from the spout, too, for
I'm just fresh from Mrs. Macy an' Mrs. Macy'fc so fresh
from her trials that they was still holdin the plaster on
to her when I left."
" But " expostulated the listener.
"Well, now, this is how it was," said Miss Clegg;
an' I'll begin 'way back in the beginnin', so you'll have
it all straight, for it's very needful to have it straight
so as to understand just why she is so nigh to half mad. .
For Mrs. Macy isn't one as gets mad easy, an' so it's
well for us as has got to live in the same town with her
to well and clearly learn just how much it takes to use
: her up.
" Seems, Mrs. Lathrop, as yesterday mornin' Mrs.
Macy set put to go to town to buy her some shoes..
Seems she was goin' to take lunch with Busby
Bell's cousin, Luther , Stott's wife, as she met at the
Lupeys in Meadville, 'cause they only live three-quarters
of an hour from town on two changes of the electric, .
an' Mrs. Stott told Mrs. Lupey as any time she or her
relations got tired shoppin' she'd be nothin' but happy
to have 'em drop in on her to rest, 'cause she kept a girl
and her husband's sister, too, so company wasn't never
no work. Well, Mrs. Macy looked up the address an'
made up her mind to go there to lunch, an' she wrote
the address on one sfde o' the paper an' her shoes on the
other, for she says they're a new kind of shoes as is war
ranted not to pinch you in the back of every newspaper
-an' you know what Mrs. Macy is on bein' pinched
why, she says she give up belts an' took to carpet slippers
just for the very reason as she could not stand bein'
pinched nowhere.
" Seems as the shoes was Kulosis shoes, an' Mrs. Macy
says how anyone could remember 'em off of paper she
can't see anyhow, an' Luther Stott's wife lives 2164
Eleventh Ave. S. W., an' that was important, too, for
there's seven other Eleventh Avenues in the city besides
eight Eleventh Streets ; seems as the new part o' the
city is laid out that way so as to make it simple to them
as knows where they live anyhow.
"Well, Mrs. Macy says she put on her bonnet as
happy as anyone looks to be afore they know they're
goin' to be the first to have a new invention tried on 'em.
She says she never was great on new inventions, for
she's lived under a lightnin' rod for nigh on to forty
years an' never come anywhere nigh to be struck once
yet, but she says she has now learned to her sorrow
as bein' fooled by a lightnin' rod man forty years ago
ain't nothin' to bein' fooled forty years ahead, for she
says she'll lose her guess if this foolin' don't last full as
long as the lightnin' rod and make her wear her felt
clippers all the forty years, too.
" Well, she says it was the minister an' she says
ifter that donation party to fix him out with new shirts
last week she looked to be spared any further infliction
for one while. She says the idea as the congregation is
expected to shirt the minister is surely most new to her,
but she says she come to the fore an' was one to help
make him the six when she see as it was expected to be
her duty as a Christian, but she says she surely hoped
when she hemmed the tail V the last one as she'd seen
the last o' him for a good breathin' spell.
"But no, Mrs. Lathrop, seems it wasn't to be, an so
she learned to her keen an' pinchin' sorrow yesterday
mornin', ; for she wasn't more'n fairly on her way to
town when she run square up to him on the bridge, an'
as a result was just in time to be the first for him to try
his new memory system on, an' she told Gran'ma Mullins
an' me with tears in her eyes an' her felt slippers sol
emnly crossed on top o' each other, as she can not see
why it had to be her of all people, an her shoes of all
things, for she says an' I certainly felt to agree, Mrs.
Lathrop as if there's anything on the wide earth as you
don't want to appiy a memory system to it's your shoes,
for shoc3 is somethin as nobody wants to remember
shoes is things as is happiest forgot
"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, seems as this new memory sys
tem o' the minister's is a thing as he got out of a Sunday
School magazine for workin' out a puzzle. Seems you
guess big cities till their capital letters spell 'Memory,
an then you send the answers an a dollar for postage
an packin' an then they send you the memory system
complete in one book for nothin at all. Or you can put
in a two-cent stamp an' not guess nothin', but the min
ister guessed 'cause he felt as in his circumstances he
hadn't ought to waste even two cents! Seems as they
had a most awful time afore they found Ypsilanti for
the Y, an for a while they was most afraid they'd have
to be reckless with two cents, but they got it in the end
an' sent em all off, an' the book come back with a in
junction forbiddin it to be lent stamped on every page.
Seems it come back day before yesterday, an the min
ister sat up most o' the night commemoratin the theory,
an" then Mrs. Macy says he just got it into him in time
for Fate to let him go an' be fiunjr at her right on the
bridge. She say she wasn't no more mistrustin trouble
than anyone does- when they meet a loose minister, an
she says she can't well see how any women meetin a
nun across a bridge can be blamed for not kaowin' as
ft
he's just grasped a new principle an' is dyin' to apply it
to the first thing handy.
" She says he asked her where she was goin', an' she
told him frank an' open as she was goin' to the city to
buy some shoes as was warranted not to-pinch. She says
he asked her what kind of shoes they was, an' she opened
her little bag an' got out the paper an' read him as they
was Kulosis shoes. He asked her why she had it wrote
down, an' she told him as she had it wrote down so as
not to forget the kind an' maybe get pinched again.
" Well, she says she was standin' sideways an' wasn't
watchin' particular, so she wasn't in no state to suspect
nothin' when he told her as she could .easy throw that
piece o' paper away an' go to town without it. She 'says
she told him as she knowed that she could easy throw
the piece of paper away an' go to town without it, but
how was she to remember her shoes, which was the
reason why she was takin' the piece o' paper along?
Then she says as he says as he'd show her how to re
member her shoes an' welcome, an' she says as she
thought as long as it was welcome she might as well
stand still, so she did.
" Well, Mrs. Lathrop, you can believe me or not, just
yet, for as she was wanderin' along who should she meet
but Drusilla Cobb.
"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, you know Drusilla Cobb! you
know what she was afore she left here, an' Mrs. Macy
says ten years ain't altered her a-tall. Whenever Drusilla
was glad to see anyone she always had a reason, an' Mrs.
Macy says it speaks loud for how clean used up she was
over her shoes that she never remembered that way o'
Drusilla's. Drusilla never saw no one on the street un
less she had a reason, an' if she had a reason it was
Heaven help them as she saw on the street.
" So now she saw Mrs. Macy an' asked her home to
lunch, an' Mrs. Macy very gladly went. She says no
words can tell how lively and pleasant Drusilla was, an
she felt to be glad she met her all the way home. She says
Drusilla has a very nice home an' a thin husband an'
three very thin boys. She says Drusilla is the only fat
one in the family.'
Susan paused and drew a long breath.
Mrs. Lathrop adjusted herself in a new position.
" Well, Mrs. Lathrop, now's where the duck comes in.
The duck was Drusilla's reason an' Mrs. Macy's next
trial. Mrs. Macy says if anyone had told her as she was
- Jf fell w ' r
4 ;
as you please, but the first thing he did was to ask her
what Kulosis reminded her of, which struck her as most
strange in the start out. But she told him as it didn't
remind her o' nothin' but shoes an' let it go- at that, an'
she says it was plain as then he had to think o' suthin'
as it could remind somebody of, an' she says he cer
tainly did have to think a long while, an' then he said
finally as it reminded him o' four noses.
" Well, Mrs. Lathrop, Mrs. Macy says she never heard
the beat o' that in all her born days, an' her mind went
back to her 'childhood days an' a uncle she had, an' the
Lord'U forgive her for thinkin' as he'd surely been
drinkin', she says she was so took aback that he see it
in her face an' told her right then an' there as it was a
memory system. Seems as the key to the whole is as
you must reduce everythin' to Mother Goose so as not to
need the brains as you've growed since, an' the minister
told Mrs. Macy as she'd find it most simple to apply. He
went on to ask her as what did four noses remind her of,
an' she says she thought she see the whole game at that,
an told him quick that they reminded her o' Kulosis,
but oh, my, seems that ain't the way it goes at all, an' he
begin an' explained it all over again, an' where he come
out in the end was as four noses would just naturally
remind anyone as had more brains'n Mrs. Macy of Two
legs sat upon three legs ' you know the rhyme where
the dog is four legs an' gets the mutton as is one leg in
the man's lap.
" Well, Mrs. Lathrop, you can maybe understand as
Mrs. Macy was just about plum paralyzed at that. Her
story is as she just stood afore him with her mouth open,
wonderin' what under the sun she was goin to be asked
to remember next, an' when he said that was all, an' for
her just to simply tear up the paper, she forgot all about
Luther Stott's wife on the back an' tore up the paper.
He said for her to go right along to town fully an freely
relyin' on 'two legs sat upon three legs' to get her her
shoes, and she says what with bein' so foundered, and
him the minister into the bargain,, she went along to the
station thinkin' as maybe she'd be able to do it.
" Well, Mrs. Lathrop, I wish you could hear Mrs.
Macy, for that ain't nothin' but the beginnin', whatever
you may think, an the rest gets awfuller an' awfuller.
" In the first place, takin' so long for the minister made
her have to run for the train, an' you know what Mrs.
Macy is on a run. She says she got so hot, as she was
not only on a run, but mostly on a pour all the way to
town. Why, she says it was most terrible, an she says
nothin' ever give her such a idea as she was a born fool
afore, for with it all she had to keep on sayin' ' Two legs
sat upon three legs ' as regular as a clock, an' she was
so afraid she'd forget it that she didn't dare even take
her usual little nap on the way, an' so had no choice but
to land all wore out
"Well, as soon as she was landed she remembered
about Luther Stott's wife bein' on the back o' the piece
o paper, an' consequently tore up along with her shoes,
an she says the start she got over rememberin' havin'
torn up Luther Stott's wife drove what 'Two legs sat
upon three legs ' was to remind her of clean out of her
head, not to speak o' havin' long since lost track o' the
way to get any connection between that an' her shoes.
" Well, Mrs. Lathrop, I only wish you'd of been there
to hear ! she says nobody ever did afore ! she says she
went up one street an' down another like a lost soul,
lookin for a policeman. She says she felt she didn't
know where to find nothin'. She couldn't look for
Luther in the directory 'cause he's long dead, an' only
his wife lives there, an' as for her shoes, she was clean
beside herself. She says she was so mad at the minister
as she'd have throwed away her baptism an' her mar
riage if there'd been any way to get 'em off. Finally she
just pat her pride into her pocket, went into a shoe store
an asked 'em openly if 'Two legs sat upon three legs
reminded 'em o' anythin in the way o' shoes. She says
the man looked at her in a way as passed all belief, an
said it reminded him mere o pants than shoes.
"Well, she says she went out into the street at that
an' her heart was too low for any use; but the end wasn't
to go to town for shoes an' bring back a duck, or be did
in one day first by the minister an' next by Drusilla Cobb,
she'd take her Bible oath as whoever said it was lyin',
but so it was."
" Is " asked Mrs. Lathrop.
" Yes," said Miss Clegg, " it's the same one. An' this
is its why, as told by Mrs. Macy to Gran'ma Mullins an'
me." She paused and drew a still longer breath.
" Seems, Mrs. Lathrop, as Drusilla's husband has got a
friend as goes huntin' with a doctor. Seems he found
four little red-headed things in a nest o' reeds an' took
one an' asked the doctor what it was. Seems the doctor
thought as it was a golden-headed oriole, but the friend
thought as it was a mud-hen. So he give it to Drusilla's
youngest boy to raise in a flat for his birthday. Well,
Mrs. Macy says bein' raised in a flat was surely most
new to the animal, as very soon it turned out to be a
duck. Seems it snapped af all the black spots in the car
pets for bugs, an' when they put it in the bath-tub to
swim it wouldn't swim, but just kept divin' for the hole
in the bottom. Seems they had a most lively time with
it, an it run after 'em everywhere an snapped at their
shoe-buttons an' squawked nights, an' when Drusilla see
Mrs. Macy she thought right off as she could give her
the duck to take home with her, 'cause she lived in the
country. So that was how Mrs. Macy come to be asked
to take dinner at Drusilla's so dreadful pleasant.
"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, Mrs. Macy says she no more
mistrusted .what travelin' with a duck is than anythin',
so, although she couldn't say as she really relished any
duck afore he's cooked, she thought as it could swim in,
the crick an' maybe grow to be a comfort ; so she let
them put it in a basket an' give her a envelope o' dead
flies for it to lunch on, an' she set off for home. She
had to wait a long time for a car, an' the duck was so
restless it eat eight flies and bit her twice waitin', but
finally the car come an' she got on. Well, Mrs. Lathrop,
she says you never hear nothin' like that duck when it
felt itself on a electric-car ! The conductor heard it an'
come runnin' an' stopped the car an' put 'em both off
afore she realized as she was gettin' off for her duck
instead of her depot.
" So there was Mrs. Macy stranded high an' dry in a
strange part o' the city alone with a duck out o' the
goodness of her heart. You can maybe believe as she
was very far from feelin' friendly to Drusilla Cobb when
she realized as she couldn't take no car with no duck,
an' didnt' know Drusilla's number to take her back her
duck, neither. Mrs. Macy says as she felt herself slowly
growin' mad, an' she went into a store near by an asked
'em if they had a telephone. They said they had, an'
she says she never will know what possessed her, but
she just looked the man square in the eye an' told him
to get her tfye president o' the car company without a
second's delay. She says it was astonishin' how quick
he got her somebody, an as soon as they'd each said
Hello polite enough she just up an' asked him to his
wire to please tell her the difference between a duck an'
a canary bird. Well she says he didn't say nothin for
a minute, an' then he said, ' Wh a t ? in a most feeble
manner, an' she asked him it right over again. Then
she said he was more nervous an' made very queer
noises, an' finally asked her what in Noah's Ark she
wanted to know for. She says she couldn't but think
that very ill bred, considerin' her age, but she was in a
situation where she had to overlook anythin',' so she told
him as she knowed an' he knowed, too, as anyone could
take a canary bird an' travel anywhere an' never know
what it was to be put off for nothin. She said he shook
the wire a little more, an then he asked her if she was
meanin' to lead him to infer that she had been injected
from a car with a duck. She says his tone was so dis
respectful that she felt her own beginnin to rise, an
she told him so far from bein injected she'd been put
out, an she had the duck to prove it He told her as he
would advise her to try to do the duck op in a derby
hat an smuggle him through, an then, without a word
more, he hung up.
" Well, Mrs. Macy says she just about never was so
cornucHT. tfoa
mad afore. She says when she turned around all the
men in the store was laughin. an that made her madder
yet, but there was one on 'em as said he felt for her,
cause he owned a pairo' ducks hisself, an' he went in
the back o the store an' found a old hat-box as was
pretty large, an' he went to work an' took the duck out
o the basket an' put him into the box, an' give Mrs.
Macy 'em both to carry, an put her on another car, an'
she set off again.
" Well, that time she got to the depot all safe, an
there was old Dr. Carter from Meadville, an' it goes
without sayin' as old Dr. Carter could drive any duck
clean out o' Mrs. Macy's head, so she an' he set out to
be real happy to the Junction, an' the first thing he asked
her was if she'd been buyin' a new bonnet in town, an'
she laughed an' give the box a little heave, an' the bot
tom come out an the duck flew down the car.
"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, you can maybe guess as that
was most tryin' both to Mrs. Macy an' Dr. Carter as
well, as is both fat an' was both wedged in one seat to
enjoy all they could of each other to the Junction. Dr."
Carter was obliged to unwedge hisself, an catchin the
duck was a most awful business, an' Dr. Carter had to
get off about as quick as it was done. Well, Mrs. Macy
says helpin' to catch your duck seems to make everyone
feel as free as air, an' a man come an' sat with her right
off an' asked her whether it was a duck or a drake.
Why, she says she never did not in all her life an' he
told her he could easy tell by catchin' a spider an givin
it to the duck, an' if he took it it was a drake, an' if she
took it it was a duck. He asked her if it wasn't so, an
she said she couldn't deny it, an' then he went back to
his own seat, an' she rode the rest o' the way tryin to
figure on where the hitch was in what he said, for she
feels there's a hitch, an' yet you can't deny that it's all
'straight about the spider.
" Well, so she got home an' went right up to her
house, put the duck in the rat-trap, and went over to ask
the minister about her shoes, an' what do you think,
Mrs. Lalhrop, what do you think! the minister had
clean forgot himself. He was sittin' there on his piazza
advisin' Mrs. Brown to make her pound-cake by sayin'
' One, two, three. Mother caught a flea ' the flea bein'
the butter, and Mrs. Macy says it was plain to be seen
as he wasn't a bit pleased at her comin' in to have his
memory system applied to her backward.
" She says after that she went home to the duck
madder an' ever an' put on her felt slippers an' made
up her mind as she'd make tip for her lost day by rip
pin' up her old carpets, an' that was the crownin pyra
mid in her Egyptian darkness, for it's the carpet as has
ended her."
1 " My " exclaimed Mrs. Lathrop.
"Oh, she's alive," said Susan; "but she ain't much
more'n alive, an' it's a wonder that she's that an' it
would be very bad for her if she wasn't, for young Dr.
Brown says she can die fifty times before he'll ever go
near her again. He's awful mad, an' he's got a bad
bump on his nose, too, where he fell over her, an' Mrs.
Sweet's got to stay in bed these days, too, for her arm
where she dislocated it jerkin' although goodness
knows what she tried for for I'd as soon think o" try
in to jerk a elephant from under a whale as to try to
jerk Mrs.. Macy from under a carpet. An' even with it
all they couldn't get her up an' had to get the black
smith's crowbar an' pry, an' Mrs. Sweet says if anyone
doubts as pryin' is painful they'd ought to of been there
to hear Mrs. Macy an' see Hiram an the blacksmith."
"But what" cried Mrs. Lathrop.
"I'm goin' to tell you if you'll just keep still a little
longer and let me get through to the end," said her
friend. " I got this part all back an' forth an' upside
down from Mrs. Sweet while I was takin' her home by
the other arm. Oh, my, but it's awful about her, for
she was preservin' and wanted an extra cullender, an'
lost her right arm. I hope her experience'll be a lesson
to you, Mrs. Lathrop,' for it's been such a lesson to me
that I may mention right here and now 't if I ever hear
you hollerin' I shall put for the opposite direction as
quick as I can, for I wouldn't never take no chances at
gettin' dislocated like Mrs. Sweet is not if I know it
to make over her carpet. Seems as she wanted to turn
it all aroun' so's it'd fade away under the stove an' fray
out in the corner where it don't show. I don't say as
the idea wasn't a good one although it's come pretty
hard on Mrs. Sweet but anyhow, good or no good, she
dug up the tacks last night an ripped the widths an set
down to sew this mornin". Her story is as she turned
the duck out to pasture right after breakfast this morn
in', an then went to work an sewea away as happy as
a bean until about ten o'clock. Then she felt most awful
tired from the rippin an' yesterday an all, so she
thought she'd rest a little. Seems as her legs was all
done up in the carpet an gettin' out was hard, so she
thought she'd just lay back on the floor. Seems she lay
back suddener as she really intended, an' as she hit the
floor she was took.
" She give a yell, an she says she kept on givin' yell
for one solid hour an no. one come. She says as no
words can ever tell how awful it was, for every yell sent
a pain like barbed wire lightenin fork in an' kninn all
ways through her. No one heard her, for the black
smith was shoeing a mule on one side of her an' Gran'
ma Mullins and Lucy was discussin Hiram on the other.
You know what a mule is to shoe. Mrs. Lathrop, an
vou know what Gran'ma Mullins an' Lucy is to discuss
Hiram. Ill take my Bible oath as when Gran'ma Mul
lins an Lucy gets to discussin' Hiram they couldn't hear
no steam Penelope out of a circus, not it it was sett in
full tilt right on their very own door-mat. So poor Mrs.
Macy laid there an' hollered till Mrs. Sweet came for
the cullender.
" Mrs. Sweet says the shock she got when she opened
the door an' see her with the carpet on her was enough
to upset her.
"She says she thought at first as Mrs. Macy was
tryin' to take up her carpet by crawlin' under it an
makin' the tacks come out that way. But when she see
as her face was up, an' o course no Christian 'd ever
crawl under no carpet with her face up. So she asked
her what was the matter, and Mrs. Macy told her frank
an' open as she didn't know what was the matter. Then
Mrs. Sweet went to work and tried to set her up. An
she says the way she yelled was perfectly awfuL
She says she jerked her by the arms an' by the legs,
an' even by the head, an' her howls only grew awfuller
an' awfuller. Mrs. Macy says as her agonies was ter
rible every time she slid a little along, an' she begged an
prayed for her to go an' get young Dr. Brown. . So
finally Mrs. Sweet ran next door an separated Lucy an'
Gran'ma Mullins, an' Lucy went for young Dr. Brown,
an' Gran'ma Mullins an' Mrs. Sweet went for Mrs.
Macy. Oh. my, but their story is as they jerked hard
then, for they wanted her to be respectable m bed afore
he came, but it was no use, an he bounced in an' fell
over Mrs. Macy an' the carpet before his eyes got used
to where he was. They had to help him up an' then ha
had to go in the kitchen an disinfect his bump before he
could take a look at Mrs. Macy. But scents he got
around to her at last and felt her pulse, an' then, as he'd
forgot his kinetoscope, he just pounded her softly all
over with the tack-hammer, but he didn't find out noth
in that way, for she yelled wherever he hit her. He
said then as he'd like to turn X-rays through her, only
as there isn't no cellar under her house just there there'd
be no way to get a picture of the other aide of what was
the matter with her.
"So he said she Miul.be. got up, an although she
howled as she couldn't be, he had Lucy an' Hiram an
the blacksmith's crowbar an' the blacksmith, an' it was
plain as she'd have to come whether or no. Mrs. Sweet
says it was surely a sight to see. They put the crowbar
across a footstool, an' Hiram jerked on the other side
at the same time, an' with a yell like Judgment Day they
sat her up.
"Now. what do you think, Mrs. Lathrop? What d
you think? There was a tack stickin square in the mid
dle o' her back !
"Oh, my, but young Dr. Brown is awful mad! Mr,
Kimball says he guesses he's got suthin out o some
body now as he won't care to preserve in alcohol for a
ornament to his mantelpiece. Hiram is mad, too, foe
f icrw..V:A'-:v-;:..- rosea Ji-Si: X'iZ
.S "it's maixy Qum a tone sror,V
ttJ'' BSTUKMD HA nUEND.
Young Dr. Brown says she's decapitated the angular
connection between her collar bone an' somewhere else,
an' she says she can well believe it judgin' from the way
her ear keeps shootin' into her wrist an" back again."
" But " interrupted Mrs. Lathrop.
"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, you know how Mrs. Macy al
ways was forever givin' to economizin. I don't say as
economizin is any sin, for if it was the most of the
world'd be in prison for it but I will say as Mrs. Macy's
ways of economizin' is sometimes most singular, an'
to-day's an example o' that. Economy's all right as
long as you economize out of yourself, but when it takes
in Mrs. Sweet an bumps young Dr. Brown Tve no
patience no more'n Mrs. Sweet an' young Dr. Brown
has. Young Dr. Brown says it looks awful to have a
black eye an' no reason for it except fallin' over a car
pet He says when he explains as Mrs. Macy was under
the carpet no one is goin' to think it anythin' but funny,
an' he says a doctor mustn't be hurt funny ways. Mrs.
Sweet she don't feel to blame herself none for her arm
"cause she jerked like she does everythin else, with her
whole heart an' she says she did so want to set her up
that she tried harder an' harder every jerk.
" WelL Mrs. Lathrop, to go "way back to the beginnin',
seems as Mrs. Macy set out last night, as I said before.
he was goin' over to Meadville to fan a baseball team
this afternoon, an' be says Mrs. Macy has used op ail
his farm in' muscle. - An' Lucy's mad 'cause she says she
was way ahead o' Gran'ma Mullins in what they was
talkin' about an' now she's forgotten what that was.
But Gran'ma Mullins was maddest of all when she
found out about the duck, "cause it seems as Drusilla
Cobb's husband was a relation o' hers, an' as a conse
quence she never could bear Drusilla, so I said I'd take
the duck."
"What" said Mrs. Lathrop.
"I shall fat bim an eat him.'
" And what" asked Mrs. Lathrop, further.
" Oh, I forgot to tell yon that Mrs. Macy hunted up
the magazine an' looked em up, and, tor a tact, it was
Kulosis. after all. As soon as she see it she remembered
the four noses an' all but she says she was too done op
to go any further at the minister just then.
" Do" adred Mrs. LathroD. fmalhr.
" No. I don't But I don't care, anyhow, an I should
n't care to catch no spider for the sake o findm oat
Hell eat just as well as she will. I reckon, an if I hare
any doubts, my ways o settlin' 'em 11 be by parboilin
instead o' spiders."
So saying, Susan rose, sought her 'dock and departed.
ET BHKIT flBflOnttTOJO
Y

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