Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume], October 27, 1903, Image 3

About Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916

Image provided by: State Historical Society of Iowa

                
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THE UNDOING OF WUN LUNG.
"Say, Wun Lung, old man," tootled Pitty Sing t'other
side of the mountain stream, "you help me crossee over,
and I takee walk with you."
"I plitty quick do that," smirked Wun Lung. "Just
you catchee this." And he chucked a few fathoms, of his
beautiful, long pigtail across.
She was a knowing minx, was Pitty, and with the help
•f a little tight rope business she hopped across
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But alack for Wun Lung! His rival was in waiting
that side the stream, and naturally he wonders who's
going to undo his back hair.
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Wool—I'm tired
of wearing Neigh
bob's dog home
every time I call
on his daughter.
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HELP
help::
|J 1« I a«:••? M'kA'&vFi '.fjt'?
A Paying Polit
ical Pull.
Wool—It pays to
have a political
pull, I tell you. I
was appointed dog
catcher today.
Van Pelt—What
possible good can
that be to you?
Delightful Pros
pect.
"Do you," said
the learned coun
sel, "swear that
you will tell the
truth, the whole
truth and"—
"Oh, how love
ly!" .the fair wit
ness interrupted.
"Shall I really be
allowed to talk all
the afternoon if I
want to?
Love at First
Hearing.
Claudia How
long have you lov
ed me?
Herbert Prom
the first moment
that your uncle's
will was read.
What She Did.
"Dry your eyes,"
he whispered.
But she left her
eyes as they were
and wrung her
hands.
Old Mother Hubbard, went to the cupboard
To get her poor dog a biscuit,
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"You know, Mies Fussy wanted to get a man to Instruct her In politics."
"Yes. Hoy/ did she come, out?"
"Well, she got one, and after she had listened to him five hours seven
other men came along and told her that he was on the wrong side of the
question."
I
"Dear me," said Mrs. Nibbs, "this bust of Nero wants
a wash very badly. I must leave it in the bath to soak."
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OLD MOTHER HUBBARD
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THE OTTUMWA COUKIEK.
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"This pole will do nicely for a bench," jnur- And he sat down on it plump
mured LucKy Lucas. could be more surprised—
BARRIERS TO EDUCATION. BARGAIN DAY.
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WHAT A SILLY MISTAKE!
"I'll out him!" -^rack—kerwollop! And he did too.
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HOW LUCKY LUCAS MADE A RICH HAUL.
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He (joyfully): "So I have won the wager, and the ten kisses are mine.
I will take them' at once."
She (generously): "Tom, I am not the one to drive a hard bargain with
you. Let us call it 999."
At 19 o'clock the score was past the hundred mark.
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That night Mr. Nibbs arrived home very late and very
tired—he'd been to a Masonic lodge—and lost his way
and went into the bath room. "Good hevingsl" cried he.
"A burglar! And having a bath too! What nerve!
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AND HER DOG.
But on her way there she fell over a chair,
And fcfe* rsor had—brisket! v.
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And no one —than himself to find that by doing so he'd —out of the well! What's more, the old gent
pulled an old gent—
in
In Training.
Newly Made
Bride Mamma
says she does not.
think we will ever
quarrel as she and
papa do.
Groom Never,
dearest.
Newly Made
Bride No she
says you will be
much easier to
manage than papa
was.
He Got Plucked.
"Now," said the
examiner to the
medical student,
"if a man were
brought to you,
Mr. Hawkins, suf
fering from an un
mistakable case of
scarlet fever, what
would ypu do?"
"I'd clear out,"
said Hawkins.
The Stumper
Stumped.
Father—My son,
you must learn to
say "No."
Son—But, papa,
you never say
"No." You say,
"I'll consider the
matter."
Punctual.
ny, what
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is
your hurry?"
"I promised my
husband I would
meet him at 1
o'clock,"
"But It's only 2
now."
j.
YOUAE
NOBLE FELLER
wasn't ungrateful. Lucky Lucas 1
PECULIAR PREDICAMENT.
The old gentleman walked up to the seat and—
—as he sat down noticed that his shoestring was
untied. He dia not, however, observe—
It
-that in retying the shoestring he had tied
—the lady's!
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SCIENTIFIC.
"I am glad to hear that you take so
much interest in science. Miss Knowit.
What.particular branch do you study?"
"Oh. I study them all—'palmistry, as
trology, chlrography and the whole lot."
ROUGH MEASURES.
"I declare." said the cat. "I'm afrnJtf
I Khali never be able to teach tho^e
kittens manners. However, I can puiy
*«v#re."
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