Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume], April 28, 1906, Image 2

About Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916

Image provided by: State Historical Society of Iowa

                
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•'M H-
As They "Coo"
Together
He—Well, dear,
if I am a fool I
can't help It.
She But yob
can help showing
it, dear. Other
men do
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THE BE8T SHE COULD DO
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SSipS
^omp#'V ioncelted)—I am
used to havifti\Wople pay at least a
little, attention to what am saying,
5-11', Miss Romply!
is so ha or
IS|$fl± Why, I am paying as little as I c#,rj,
^VscV'r- Mr. Pnmnlv!
tias.v'j Mr. Pomply!
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Caught by the undertow
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/'HOW DOTH THE BUSY LITTLE BEE," ETC. 'V
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Oli'll
J/F
The Lucky Day
What day of
the week do you
think is the luck
iest to 'get mar
ried ori?" queried
the soft and sweet
young thing.
The eighth," re
plied the confirm
ed bachelor, re
fusing to be sen
timental even for
a minute.
His View of It.
Mrs. Thinkhard
—Of late years the
spread of intelli
gence among all
classes has been
simpjy wonderful.
Old Bachelfcr
Yes, notice there
has been a great
falling off in the
number of mar
riages.
Costly Engage
merits.
Mollie—He must,
have spent a pile
of. money on his
wedding.
Chollie—Yes, but
see what a lot he
Mutual.
"Gillsnap told me
the other day that
after ten years of
married life he
and his wife at
last understood
each other."
Yes, I hear they
are trying to get a
divorce.
Another Rssson#
"Sniggles has
given up smok
ing.
I knew his wife
would make him
stop
No, it wasn't
that. He's work
ing in a powder
mill."
ORIGIN OF MODERN ETIQUETTE.
(Why it Is now the custom for a gentleman to raise his h^at on meeting a lady.)
The attitude struck by Balbus of Rome on meeting the ghost of his Wther
in-law was found to be so effective when used to illustrate the story he v|pld his
fritndt tt)*t it Imm^diAtc^y "caught on" and has remained "on'| to this da'
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COMPARING NOTES.
"So Mr. Smilax told you his heart
was broken when you refused him,"
said Maud.
"Yes," answered Mamie/
"The impudence of him to offer roe
da.maared (roods tha next davl"
'*$1
THE OTTUMWA COUEIE1L
SURE SIGNS OE SPRING.
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sfes
Haw the EHackyille's New Player Deceived the Darkeytown Catcher
Ml
i.
The Blaokville Catcher (excitedly vehement) "Kim on! Yo' woan' slide by mo laik yo' did do socon' an' third basemen, circus pliyihl*
The Darkeytown New A»juisition: "Nopey, but Ah'll slide right—
—ober, yo' amacHewer ptayahl"
AN INTERESTING BOOK.
BEGINNING TO REALIZE IT,,.
"I never heard Dinsmore acknowledge
that he was growing old before to
day."
"How did he acknowledge it?",
"He announced that he felt juiat fe£
vounsr as be ever did."
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NOT HIS AFTER ALL.
"Gee whiz! My umbrella's gone!"
I'Dop't make such a fuss over a com
m'on occurrence like that. You should
take the thing philosophically.'
"So I did, but I object to having it
^aken from me nhilososhically."
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"Yas," declared Lazy Ike, "I went up tap dat lady's house an' she gimme
real swell dinner?"
"A swell dinner?"
," 0 1»Cl'
"Sure dried apples an' all de water I wanted.'
Well, Well, Well!
Stalket Head
ley says my im
personation of
Caesar last night
was absolutely
real.
Manning—Gueaa
that's so. EveiV
body I've met says
it certainly was
not acting
The Stony Eye,
"Ob, beg par
don. I didn't
recognize you
when I first saw
you.
"You mean you
didn't see me
when you first
recognized mo. I
noticed it,"
Getting It, Down
Fin«t
/*If there wuan't
so hi any fool girl®
there wouldn't b«
so many fool wo
men, an' ft there
wusn't so many
fool fathers there
wouldn't be so
many fool girls."
Another Brute.
Wife Ever so
many women are
becoming artists.
Husband Yes
it is a business in
which they can
talk while they
work.
Shocking I
Evelyn—Yes, my
great-grandmoth
er eloped with my
great-grandfather.
Cholly just
fancy! Old peo
ple like that!
The Real Cause.
"iPapa, what
makes a man give
a ring to a woman
when they are en
gaged?"
"The woman."
The Kind.
"Writing 1OT«
letters requires 4
great mental
fort," said Bunt
ing.
Tea/ 'sentimen
tal/' added Xj«r
kln.
IT
VERY SWELL.
j-fij
'"V --'A R:^
WOULDN'T TAKE QHANSfV
JSS^I -Ss. to
"I dreamt lap* night dat a $uy offer*^
me a quart uv ten-year-old whisky, btti
I refused t' take It."
"What did yov'se do dat for?"
'Cause know'd de mlnnlt I tried,
t$.ke a drink I'd'wake up."
ONP BRIEF MOMENT.
MAKING HIMSELF SOLID.
I
"Wireless telegraphy, ma^lam, is a great invention
finer things which didn't oxUt twenty-five years aocl"
"What, for instancer'.
"You. madaml"
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The Kid—Say, mister, will yer ilenfl
me yer high hat an' cane -fer a rnin
ute? I just want ter experience th« j?
glorious feelings of b&ng well dressed.
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but there:
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