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Xk if Ci ft, »?y 1 tf? if,\- k*" I I A & I AtM-—---gk Ml '"M? .. .' "•. ,: ... ... Hlf ANNUAL REST. "Going to the mountains again?" "Yes, all but father. He says he must have a rest." "Going a-fishing?" "No. He's going to stay at home." BEG your pardon," said the fifth man among us in the smoking compartment as he lighted a fresh cigarette, "but can any of you tell me what has become of all the phrenolo gists that we used to hear of? I don't meet them any more." "I guess they've beat it," replied :he reckless smoker. "Sorry to hear that. I was very much interested in the science. In fact, I've had my own bumps felt of." "And what were you told?" "The real truth. Yes, sir, I was told that I was modest and unassum I & THEIR SUBSTITUTE. Yes, we bachelor girls often give a yachting party and never think of taking a man along. Well, well! Don't you ever get lonesome? Oh, well. If we do we hug the shore. COTS A $ of politics around," said the anxious looking man to the com placent man with a newspaper on his knees in the street car. "Plenty, sir—plenty," was the re ply. "Would you mind telling me how you think it will turn out?" "I think we will get there with both feet." "You do?" "I certainly do. There is a wave of enthusiasm that is carrying him right along." *n •'?,.,.••'•• ." .V&V* Vl' t!^W HIS REGULAR FEE. "Why, I didn't think he stood any show at all." "No? Well, you wait." "I was told that the Weat was against him." "My dear man, the West is for him bigger'n a house." "But New England?" "Whipping right into line. You don't seem to be up to date on the political situation?" "No, I don't read so very much. Do you think the election will be close?" SHE SURELY M^TST. The Swain—If dis stunt don't win her, she must have a heart of dis kere adamunt stuff. ABOUT PHRENOLOGY. ing too much so for my good. It was said that I reverenced truth and would not even exaggerate. Also, that I had no confidence in myself when women were around. Yes, the Professor hit my case exactly." "Excuse me, but what profession or occupation do you follow?" asked the fat man. "Been a drummer and on the road for thirty years, sir! Yes, sorry to see phrenology go to the wall a* It did!" 1 JOE KERR. tf CHE ANOTfcPORVOU Sl&, FROM A YOUNG LADY WANTb YOU TO MEET HfR 5 )H 4, '"V 1 OTxtnrwA cotmiEB, old Dakota settler pressed ine so hard to go home with him that I consented. He hadn't said anything about his family, and my surprise was great when six strapping big girls came galloping down to the gate to meet us. It was summer time, and all were bareheaded and bare footed. They took the mules and wagon off to the barn, and as we sat down on the veranda the father queried: "You hain't seen a more like.y drove of gals in this State, I guess?" "No. Are they all your own?" "Every blame one, sir." "All of them appear to be big enough to get married oft." "Plenty old 'nufC, but that hain't the program." I CAN MEET HER, BUT I CAN'T MEET THE NOTEr LfcT IT GO TO PROTEST. OH IT'5 FROM GRACE THEN GET THREE DAYS A NOTfc, ONfcDAV. CAFTk TO FROft A ami DID AD0R£ TKEr LAST Tint THAT 1 ?ALLtt ON KB* OF QRACE 1 HSR DAD SAID "CALL HO riORgr^ I'LL HURRY TO SEE HER AND |F NONE OF HEP FAMILY SEES HE:R, BY CAESAR1 I'LL SIEZE- HER AND HOG HER I'LL PROPOSE TKAT Wfc FLY TO THE— MOUNTAINS OF SOME DISTANT CLIME' AND CLIMB AND CLIMB AND CLIMB r' ix, x^\ Vltrr "No sir. He will have a thun dering majority. No, there won't be any dispute as to the election. The country has made up Its mind." The anxious-looking man pondered for a moment and then said: "Come to think of it, you have men tioned no names. You have asserted that 'he' would get there." "And 'he' certainly will." "But do you refer to Taft or Roose velt?" "My dear man, I am a lawyer, and my regular fee for answering that question is 12 5. Do you wish it an swered?" "No, by thunder!" exclaimed the other. "I can go to a clairvoyant and get an answer for fifty cents!" JOE KERR. HIS PRACTICE. I want to engage you to look after my practice while I'm on vacation. But I'm Just out of college, doctor. Have had little experience. That's all right, my boy. My prac tice, while large, Includes very few people who are actually 11L iif. '•'-IWPjjlJ.jlB||i|B8--' '"I- ifMPipif i/MGg" OK FUN THE GIRLS WORKED. "Then there's a program to it, eh?" "For sure. Stranger, what do you think I was worth when I struck these diggings twelve years ago? Jest one span of old mules, an old wagon and 40 cents in cash. What am I worth today? Well, you couldn't buy me out short of $15,000." "You must be a hustler at farm ing," I said. "Nothin" of the sort, I hain't no hustler, and crops have been mighty poor. It's them six gals as has did it all for me, as they is still a-doin'." "You don't mean that they work the farm?" "No, sir. I work on the farm, and they work on the feelings of the men folks around here. Every single one THt NOT$ fcORfc INT&RWT BfcCftOS£- HY HOP5HATTiR£D UhEN ISJW IT lNTE BfcST£D AND $01 RAN TO G-RAC£S Sibt- AND NOW I'M IN A PICK It, 'CAUSfc 3fr6tDt MYSHI1 WITH GL££— I CANTAL00P".6KtaAID. THE TOILER. Swift—Where are you going to spend your vacation? Smith—I'm not going to. Swift—Huh? Smith—I just earn my vacation— my family spends it. In Time to Come. Suddenly the great game in the summer of 1920 stopped. "What's the trouble?" shouted the grand stand. "Let the game go on!" "Make them play!" thundered the bleachers. "Soak the umpire!" Just then the manager came out and held up his hand. "Patience, gentlemen, patience! The game will go on just as soon as the fly cops can chase that fleet of airships from over the diamond. Those on them are catching the balls as fast as they are batted upward." And then the fly cops began to fly from every direction. SKY VIEW. Wlfey—There go the Browns in their new monoplane! Hubby—Are you sure it's the Browns? Wifey—Of course I am. I'd know the top of hier hat anywhere. 1W& GIRL I HOP*D TO WfcD, riiit,iri.y,...!JL,.ijH!-i,.»twjijii.,ii!.i4iy!'-v of 'em has had a breach-of-promise case, and the oross-eyed one bw had two and la gittln' ready to institoot a third. All of 'em has got verdicts or settled their aw, and this fam'ly Is walkin' right into richness. The county is purty well worked out, however, and I may sell out and strike another locality. Be you a married man?" "I am." "Shoo! I got it you was single. The gals will be disappointed, but we'll make you to home jest the same. Come in and meet up with the old woman. She's also got a lawsuit—suin' a feller for liftln' his hat to her as he drove by, and we shan't take nothin' less'n $500 in cash to settle!" AH CALL THIS EVENING BETWEtN EtQrHT O'CLOCK I WILL BE ALONE IF I AM NOT ALONE. ,YOU CAN MAKE" ME A LOAN t* YOU LOAN SOME, I WON'T BE- SO LONESOME" I'LL Be JOE KERR. ALONE-SOME" WITH SYOU IF YOU'LL /Vs LOAM SOME THfr DfcW WAS FALLiW* WHfcN I GOT THAT I*OT£ FROTI PRETTY GRACfr I THOUGHT A NOT* AS FAILING DEW EUT SUCrt WAS NOT THfr- CAS£r~ ClcantaloopTY (lets elope- sum TO YOUR LONE SOME GRACE-" NICE LETTER* An Interrupted Message. INmillinerydrummer"I working a certain Kansas town," said the tot a Chicago house, formed the acquaintance of an angel in a retail store. It was no flirtation on my part. I was head over heels in )ove. I had to go to another village twelve miles away, and while there I stepped into a grocery to telephone to. my love and assure her that I was still faithful. There was no booth and all could hear what was said. I had just got my messages started when I was taken by the back of the neck and run outdoors and thrown off the platform. The man who did it was a farmer, and I was getting ready to go for him when the grocer seised me by the arm and whispered: 'Don't raise no fuss! It's simply a curious coincidence.' 'But he assaulted me!' 'I know, but you can't help co incidences.' 'Blast your coincidence! What Is it?' 'Why, the man who gave you the hump happens to be the father of your angel over at Sodtown!' JOE KERR. BETWEEN Rambo—A political party la sum Sambo—Why so? Rambo—De man dat makes de is most promotious of ha^mony^^.! IUI. AIMMTOU LULIU HUUHWHW I'Muwwvc Mt DARKIES. pin* like de ch'uch choir. mos' noise in it ain't alius de one dat BRIGHT EYES. Jack—Ah, Irene, your eyes are like the orbs of night. Irene—How old fashioned! Fred always compares mine to the lamp* on his touring car. TELLING THE TRUTH. Am I the only girl you ever loved? I wouldn't want to say just that, but you are the only one I my 1911 vacation. CUT 'EM SMALL. "Shall we give samples of cloth to ladies who are thinking of ing bathing costumes?" "I guess so but cut 'em small. We don't want 'em to use the sample* to make the suit." A PISH STORY. "Don't you know that flshing is for bidden in this pond?" "I'm not fishing I'm just teaching my worms to swim."