OCR Interpretation


Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, November 23, 1915, Image 6

Image and text provided by State Historical Society of Iowa

Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn86061215/1915-11-23/ed-1/seq-6/

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THANKSGIVING,
/ait on dear old father,
though we really starve
devoutly thankful
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we do not have to carve,
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SLICES SO THIN.
Boarder—"Pardon me, but did you slice that turkey with a
knife
Landlady—"What do you think I used?"
Boarder—"A safety razor."
THE WISDOM OF YOUTH.
"Pray, where are you going so swiftly, my lad?"
"To the newspaper shop, sir, to put in an AD.
Xo matter what's wanted, I've found out, my man,
A WANT AD. will bring it if anything can!"
Ifr SAFETY FIRST.
QUITE TRUE.
"It's the early bird that
catches the worm."
"Yes, if the blamed fool
worm had known his busi
ness and stayed in bed,
the early bird would have
had his early walk for
nothing."
CHESTNUT STUFFING.
Thanksgiving time is here
again,
Brimful is every larder,
And thinking up Thanks
giving jokes
Each year is getting
harder.
CAUSE FOR WORRI
MENT.
Thanksgiving comes to
bring us joy,
But soon we will be
hopping
When oft these -words
come to annoy,
"Begin your Christmas
shopping."
M, MONEY IN IT.
the Pilgrim Fathers that instituted Thanksgiving Day, wasn't it?
cranberries are a New England product, you know.
iv
?v "I see by the market reports that turkeys are going to be higher."
"You bet your life we are. We're going to be as high as the tallest trees
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THE WHEREFORE.
"Miss Blank is not a girl who wants
to talk all the time. She is willing to
listen."
"Yes, somebody once told her that
she had beautiful ears."
BORE IT WELL.
Welcome winter to our midst.
What kept you so long away?
Not that any of us did'st
Weep o'ermuch at the delay.
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A DIFFICULT ORDER.
Willie—I want my pudding now. I
don't want any more turkey, and—
Father (sternly)—Keep your mouth
{shut and eat your dinner.
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ON THANKSGIVING DAY.
Don't expect me home for dinner, mother. I'm going to play football.
Very well, George. Shall I send some turkey and mince pie out to the
hospital for you?
r,
What's the Use?
NOPe'. vTUST T^VON*
OPP- V4E\GM"\ THANKS
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Said Mr. Duck to Mr. Quack
"I'm getting stout,
It's really quite an effort for me
To waddle about."
A fi^.
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TIME TO MOVE.
•-•. ,••••':• .i.-
KOVEMBEH 1915
TOO BAD.
Parson—-"Rastus, is yo* goln* to hab
turkey on Thanksgiving Day?"
Rastus—" 'Fraid not, Pa so n.
Farmer Hynson has jes' put a new
lock on his turkey coop."
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As turkey's high Thanksgiving,
Will be my luck
To grace a table, I'm afraid,
I guess I'll duck."
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THANKSGIVING LUCK.
The folks at the house yonder couldn't eat this Thanksgiving
turk, so they gave it to me. Luck! Ain't It?
Yes, pretty tough-luck, pard!
VERY USEFUL.
Brown has developed a helpful idea for auction bridge.
What is It?
At the beginning of each hand he puts a record on his
graphophone which constantly announces what's trumps.
COMMON FOOD.
"Honest, Weary, wot wid Tanksgiv
in*, Chrismus, an' New Year's comin'
so clost, I toins pale to, think of toikey
an' mince pie!"
3
You kin give thanks, Eddie.
A RARE TREAT.
What for?
Why, durn it, ain't I goln' ter let you watch me eat dis Whole plet
AT THE THANKSGIVING GAME.
There is something about these college students that reminds me of In
dians.
i'
What is it?
Why you can't tell their songs fromtheir yell*
EXPLAINED AT LAST!
If Senator J. Ham Lewis
has any love for the Eng
lish, he has managed to
conceal it pretty success
fully ever since his last
visit to England. He was
enveloped, along with the
rest of London, in a fog
that did not lift for ten
days, the length of his
stay. Just before leaving
ha went to his window and
looked out disgustedly.
"Now I know why the
English say, 'The sun
never sets on their posses
sions,' he said. "How
can it? It never rises!"
SURE.
"One pound of good
coal will release sufficient
energy to raise an aver
age man to a point four*
teen miles high."
"He will go up in th«
air higher than .that when^
he gets the bill for it."
FJ&
j't tell their songs fromtheir yelli» J&
IT
Kit
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