Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, May 30, 1916, Image 6

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Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume], May 30, 1916, Image 6
About Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916

Image provided by: State Historical Society of Iowa

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Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa), 30 May 1916. Chronicling America: Historic American Newspapers. Lib. of Congress. <https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn86061215/1916-05-30/ed-1/seq-6/>

Newspaper Page Text

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NOTHING LIKE TRYING,
fry, maybe, bunting,
If a run you're hunting
1
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May bounce the horsehide off his shin.
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SOME SHOT.
Regrsrie—From your* studies at college, would you say man descended
•om a monkey?
Sweet Girl Graduate—Oh, no! Not all of them, by any means.
OH AMP
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DON'T EVCH W\VE
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IM OH BAC5N STREET1
MOTOR CLASS.
"I fear she's too high for me."
"Different walks of life, eh?"
"Not walks exactly. But she's in the limousine class and I'm only in
!he runabout."
1
BACK TO THE WOODS.
Batters there are who in the early spring
Can wallop any ball the twirlers fling
But later, when the pitchers round to form.
Shatter the ether only with their swing.
vt
The Sweet Girl Graduate
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OTTUMW A COURIER
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PU.ETXGU. ?£CTOfeM
BUSINESS LIFE.
"Business life isn't bad for a girl."
"Should say not. She soon learns
to size up the financial positions of
the men she meets and then she knows
just exactly what she's marrying."
Pes
7
I"!.
THE DANGER.
"Pa, a man's wife is his better half,
isn't she?"
"We are told so, my son."
"Then If a man marries twice there
isn't anything left of him, Is there."
~T,
7
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And They Get Away With It
A CWEEZE. M*LU, OUC
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SOMETHING, ANYWAY.
"So you think a college education is
a good thing for a boy?"
"Yes, I think it's a pretty good
thing. Fits him for something In
life. If he can't cfitch on with a base
ball team, he can often land a job as
a professor."
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RISKY.
"Yes, my brother is awfully venturesome."
"How's that?"
"He's living right under a chop-suey restaurant."
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WHAT SHE ENJOYED MOST.
So you took your wife to the base
ball game.
Yes.
Did she enjoy it?
Only part of it. She thought they
wasted a great deal of time running
around the lot, but she thought the
arguments with the umpire were quite
interesting.
"x\ie
MH'T
THE "SAN^
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THE OMNISCIENT.
'Tis now the college graduate
Makes his address,
And as he shows h3 sort of lore
We must confess
He has all knowledge In the world.
And nothing less.
Innocence largely depends upon the
ability of the lawyer.
Don't jump at conclusions unless
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Fall.
GOOD CAUSE TO KICK.
Wifey—Are you going to the ball game today?
Hubby—Yes.
Wifey—I don't mind you're going, but when they're going to play OM
of those fifteen-inning games I wish you'd telephone me before you stact,
so as not to keep supper waiting.
CAUSE ENOUGH,
No wonder I wake up with indiges tlon—I dreamed
rarebits, custard pies, cucumbers and milk.
lt
to sei
:eded.:- •?r--
HELP NEEDED.
"What's the trouble?"
"Your,
ladles and
'•Well, what of it.'
"They want you to send up an expert bookkeeper to straighten out th«ir
mi
wife is having a bridge pfitjty. ^y ery Jady, owes several other
is owed by some ladies."
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THE POLITICAL. LADDER.
"In politics, you must begin at the
bottom of the ladder."
"In what manner?"
"Well, as a rule, the first thing you
do is to shake the laldder In an effort
to dislodge the fellows ahead of you."
LONG AND SHORT.
What need of scientific wights
To tell us every year
The longest days and shortest nights
Now once again are here?
For every one whq works at aft
Knows well how long the day.
And that he'll find from Spring till
The night too short for play.
•lA,
•%V.
If*
•*"•".
I
wus eatin' Welsh

Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume], May 30, 1916, Image 6
About Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916

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Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume], May 30, 1916, Image 6 About Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916

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Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume], May 30, 1916, Image 6
About Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916