Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume], September 26, 1916, Image 6

About Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916

Image provided by: State Historical Society of Iowa

                
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LITERARY LANGUAGE.
Hubby—My dear, this pie is a
apoem. Your own work?
Wifey (.hesitatingly)—The cook col
laborated.
SLIGHT MISAPPREHENSION.
husband an altruist?"
think so, and I almost hope nobody asks him to join,
uniforms now that I can hardly take care of them."
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It was the lagt day of his vacation.
He had just finished carving her name
on the smooth bark of the beech
tree.
"Dear," he said, "Will you promise
to wait for me till I come again next
VaIUAT 5 THE" MATTER,
vrtrm VQU
£0^'"*: TALK.
AKS NOO
O O O O A N A
K.NOVM IT
Girl
THE OLD COUNTY FAIR
The old county fair the last of September,
How well we recall the sights we saw there
The turnips and corn and peppers like ember,
And rich yellow pumpkins piled up in a square.
The side-shows and shell games—how well we remeinber
Petro with his harp and the big dancing bear
Such frolic and fun the last days of September—
Hurrah for the days of the old county fair!
MUTUAL JOY.
"Were you glad to get back to school and see your dear teacher?"
"Well, I guess I was Just about as glad as dear teacher was to get back
and see me."
CAUTIOUS
et*
Wonder Maids of Autumn The Polo Girl
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31
summer?
She looked up at him with dove
light in her eyes.
"Yes, Harry," she murmured.
"Then I'll cut my initials beside
yours."
And They Get Away With It
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ITS USUAL REMARK.
Pa, what does money say when it
talks?
Good-by.
SUPERLATIVELY INCONSPICUOUS.
Does Brown amount to.much?
No more than a horse at a horse
show.
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PUMPKIN TIME.
Green-corn time is ended,
Mosquito time and fly-time
Yet the weather's splendid—
This is pumpkin-pie time!
SOME SADNESS.
Miss Gushington—"The melancholy days are come, the saddest of tht
year."
Mr. Hardfax—"You got it right. They are sad. The whole town is
defaced with election posters, the smoke of burning leaves makes me sick,
the football bugs rave on the street^, and I gotta get a new overcoat and I
haven't the price."
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A QUANDARY.
The Boy: Now, 1 s'pose I gotter do
the Sir Walter Raleigh stunt an' Ma
said if I got mud on me new coat
she'd wallop de daylights outer me!
INTENSE HEAT.
Mrs. N—"What a terribly hot sum
mer it has been."
Mrs. B—"Yes, the worst I can re
member. Even our afternoon bridge
club was obliged to. suspend meeting
for two afternoons."
FOOL QUESTIONS.
What does the sun hatch when it sets?
The answer tell and, say,
Why, oh, why does the moon get full?
Who mends the break of day?
you
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