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THE LAMAR REGISTER.
VOLUME IV. W« are here with our usual large stock. STOVES STOVES. Ry the Thousand, Light and Heavy Wavens.Farm and Freight Wagons, Ouen and Top Bugsies. Read Carts. Plows of all kinds, Harrows. Farm Machinery. Windmills. Wooden and Iron Fumps. No such stock ia south-east Golcradi, ss yen will Find, in tlx is Store A LARGE AND COMPLETE ASSORTMENT OF ALL Kinds of Garden and Field Seeds. GROCERIES , HV THE ©hb .A.t Prices That Paralize a.ll Competition. Jdvclf ; Jkauy parduuax, Builders Material A Specialty. M. L. Swift k Go. Miih Sreet, * * LAMAR, COLORADO. LAMAR, COLORADO, SATURDAY, FEB. 15, 1890. All the world’s a stride, and all j the men and women waut to ride on j top. —Texas Sifting*. Artful Dodger—Quito a spell we’er having? Officer (putting on the handcuffs) —Yes, quite a cold snap. Boston Herald. “You say that drinking is one of I vour husband’s failures?” “Failures? , O, no. It is one of his successes.” — i N«*w York Ledger. The real autocrat of the breakfast j t ible wears a big apron, carries a i tray, and doesn’t bring in the coffee ! | until he get* good and ready.—Wash- I ington Post. What is 'Old Probabilities?’ “ask ed Willie, who had been listening to the conversation about the weather. “It ih a glaring misnomer,” replied i the old gentleman with a sigh.— i Washington Post. Fenderson—What is the reason, I i wonder, that fellow comes here every , i day or two to make a fool of himself? ■ Fogg—l don’t know, unless it is he! believes in doing in Home as the '• Homans do. Boston Transcript. Blinks (after a long absence) —And how is J inks getting along? Is he! •is madly in love with Miss De Piet ' tv as ever? Old friend—O, he’s all J over that. “You don’t say so.” Yes ' | indeed. Been married to her a year.” : -New York Weekly. Victor—l presume it was poverty that drove you to commit the deed ; hat brought you here? Convict--; No, indeed, I was coining money. Visitor—What were you engaged at? ! j Convict I was counterfeiting the coin of the United States.—New York Ledger. Figg—But I do not see how a min-, i*ler of the Gospel can condemn wine 1 drinking, when it is so well known that the Savior himself once tnrned j water into wine. The Itev. Mr. i Wdfus—Exactly. And any time; you furnish me with wine made by J the same process, I agree to drink all ; I « at« possibly hold.—Terre Haute l Express. M innie—l wonder what ever be-j ••arno of Jennie Smart, who took hist pii/.e in our graduating class? Min nie—Why, don’t you know? She wrote an article on “The Degrada-. lion of American Womanhood,” got j SI,OOO for it from a magazine, went j : into Wall street, made a fortune and I , went to Enrope aud bought one of the sweetest little ptinces you ever sawl • —Torre Haute Express. The mountain lion has been heard I from again this time in the Mention ! itc settlement, northeast of Granada. I One night last week he ran Martin ! Dnaksen’s dog up on the roof of Lis dugout. Martin, aroused from his . peaceful slumbers by the sprining of i the lion upon his roof, hastily grab-j ! bed a six-shooter, and, clad only in | hi* nether garments, sallied forth to conquer. The beast made for the: • table with Martin in hot pursuit. When victory seemed within his easy j i grasp Martin discovered to his dismay ; that his pistol had not a single load, i Hastily retreating to his house and | loading his pistol he returned to the j ; scene of conflict, and fired a bullet at ! the lion. The animal gave a low j growl and was soon out of Martin’s sight. The next day his path marked in blood could be traced for a long distance. A beast much larger than a gray wolf has been seen lately l>v ] others in that locality and no doubt j it is the same one that lately terror ized Granada. —Granada Exponent. Legal papers were served on the mayor and the city clerk yesterday afternoon at the instance of Henry Shaefer, who wauts SIO,OOO damages from the city for false imprisonment. Shaefer belongs to the Salvation Army and last July was arrested for parading the illegally. The ordinance, however, referred to hab itual parading and as tho evidence had only shown Shaefor to have been on tho streets once tho defendant was discharged.—Pueblo Star. The Fox and the Rabbit. I swear.” »:»I<l a Fox to a Kabbit one day— 'Tld n story they often relate In the south— " ' ou shall be, Mr. ltabblt.ere sunset iuy prey!’ And he threatened him fiercely with wide open mouth. The Rabbit set off at the top of his speed, i Resolving by flight to get out of the-crape ; , Rut. hotly pursued, soon discovered the need i I Of adopting a trick to effect his escape. j he ran to u well eurb which chanced to be nigh. j A windlass that two spacious buckets pos sessed, I And leaping In one-both were empty and I dry very quick at the bottom found safety and rest. I As one of the buckets suddenly fell. The other and lighter rose equally fast; | \nd when Uoynur.l arrived at the top of the well lie thought to himself, “I have got you at lost !” "My friend, why Uldn’t you take them both with you?” Said the Fox, as he bowed to the one that j now swung So high and inviting; “this nonsense we'll end And Into t'.io bucket exulting he sprung. ! You see his mistake ; for his heaver weight To the surface the Kabbit full speedily drew, ! Who said, while ascending. “Life’s chunges are great. Sow up now daw! Mr. Reynard, adieu!” ! Then off hopped the Rabbit, and lived. I sup pose. Esteemed by bN friends, to a happy old : While the Fox, when the day came at lost to a close, i Was caught by a Farmer and pnt In a cage. ! Now allot this proves what has often been j sal 1 Of the slips that occur ’twlxt the Up aud the cup; I >olf up do not boast, there aro hazards ahead; It down, don't lose courage, you soon may be up —Phillip Rurrouglis Strong In Wide Awake. “I was sitting down to work.” said n book agent pestered man yesterday, “when a pretty woman entered my ' offic o. No one would suspect that : she wa« a hook agent. She placed a I volume in front of me and began to ' talk I told her I would not buy the j hook if I really wanted it. ‘Never! mind,’ said she, gaily. ‘lt won’t cost | ; you anything to look at it.’ “As she desired, I did look at it I read the introduction and then j • chapter I. It was about 10 o’clock j when I opened tin* book. At 11 j i o’clock the pretty book ageut 'had ! j become uneasy. I never raised my j eyes. Another hoar and she was : pacing up and down the floor. At 1 o’clock when she had nearly worn ! herself out, I laid the book down and, putting on my hat and coat, said j to the thoroughly exasperated woman. ‘That’s a clever book, I regret that I cannot read more of it, but I must 1 ! away to dinner.’ | “She was tnad, but she didn’t say ! a word. Grabbing the book she ! shoved it into her satchel and made I for the street.”—Boston Globe. In Maine, there are 144 towns with populations ranging from 1,000 to' 1,500 in which no newspaper is pub lished. In all New England there , are more than 500 such places. Noth-! ing shows the radical difference be- 1 tween the stagnation of the east anti : the vitality of the west than this. In 1 the west there cannot be found a • town of 500 people without a paper, 1 nor a town of from 1,000 to 2.000 j without two or three of those reflect- j ‘ ors of intelligence and enterprise, j And yet there are men fron New ; England, right in the midst of popu lous communities without a paper, constantly coining west to find a lo cation for one. If any man wants to establish a paper in the west he must ! either go into a town of less than ' 500 people or else meet the competi | tion of one or more that have pre ! needed him.—West Shore. , Several dogs have been reported as mad during the past few days, and i instances are talked of where it is . claimed a rabid dog has bitten other i dogs. Mrs. Sylvester, who lives near • i the Fort Worth bridge, was bitten !! by her own dog Monday. The ani ■ rnal showed signs of hydrofobia, and ! was killed. Dogs must be carrofully i looked after, muzzled or tied, so as . to prevent them from doing damage. —Trinidad News. ! The Pacific express company is creating a breeze among their em | ployes by sending oat blank applica tions for a life insurance policy in the expressman’s mutual benefit as sociation, ana insisting that every man in their employ who is not al ready insured in some other company, take out a policy in this association at once. It seems also that the busi ness is all done through the superin tendent of the Pacific express com pany, and that soveral employes have already been asked to take their choice between filling out the appli cations, which give the men no idea whatever as to what the expense will be, and the alterative of looking for another job. It is said that seven of j the company’s drivers in Kansas City quiet work on this account. — T.as Vegas Optic. I( the jim-crow agricultural de part mentof our government at Wash ington was to be credited we would j be a mere pigmy agriculturally con sidered. The late report from that department gives us but 87,300 acres planted wheat last season, when the the facts in the case we had more i than three time those numbers of! of acres planted. The tacts in the ease are that the department is j too penurious to pay a dollar for ob taing correct information and trust to some cheap clerk to make an esti mate. Not one dollar has ever been oaid for compilling statistics from Colorado. Secretary Rusk needs to clean bis augean stable of incompe tent barnacles. All we ask in Colo rado is to be left alone. Do not in jure us by ignorant reports. —Field and Farm. Lamar is also agitating the ques tion of a flouring mill with promises of ultimate success, considerable out side capital is manifesting an inter est in the enterprise and an extent that will no doubt ultimately result in the construction and operation of a mill at that place. Lamar like Las Animas is surrounded by the very cream of agricultural portions of the Arkansas valley and also like our town she has delayed too long m getting a movement upon foot for a flouring mill, as the land could as well be devoted to wheat raising as ; anything else with great promises of | financial success in that specie of crop.—Las Animas Leader. The approach ot the day when the American citizen will sit down to his breakfast to drink imitation coffee, sweetened with bogus glucose sugar, and cat imitation eggs, or possibly imperil his digestion with doughnuts fried in imitation lard, appears not • far away. Only the discovery of i bogus cream for the coffee ami bogus | flour for the bread is necessary to j j make it possible for the common j I American to take a meal without as-' tonishing his stomach by a single j i genuine article of food.—Pittsburg I Dispatch. r j Majorities have not always ruled ! this country. Thirty or forty years | ago, for example, a handful of slave : holders dominated their party in the North and ran the Nation’s affairs by j their audacity and bull-dozing, The I descendants of those men are nt | tempting the same tactics now, but 1 they find that this time the majority i lias the courage to assert itself.—St Louis Globe Democrat. I The Arapahoe county grand jury j and Denver Republican have indict ed State Treasurer Brisbane charged | with receiving interest on public j money. It is getting to be a huge farce, this spite and indicting busi j ness.—Rocky Ford Enterprise. The daily Herald of this city has suspended. Hard times is the reason given. We hope business will im prove soon, so it will resume publi cation. The Weekly Herald will continue.—Garden City Democrat. HUMBER 36. With :t terrific cold in hit* head. And hi* eyelids heavy and sore, The editor sat in his broken chair. And bitterly, eanestly swore. A youth had dropped In with a poem, A man was there with a dun. And a chap had entered to tell him How the paper to be run. An Irate subscriber had told him That his sheet wasn’t fit to be rend. While another had carefully promised To punch the editor’s head. The foreman was veiling for copy. And the wind whistled in at the door. And tills, with a few other reasons, Is why the editor swore, llut tile angel who took It to heuven Hccorded this verdict there: “The Jury find, in the present case ’Twas a justifiable swear.” —fenlklu News. There are many eidences of a cool ing era ot progress and prosperty in Palmer Lake Glen Park. The man agers of the latter are now actively engaged in making preparations for a number of valuable impiovements which will be noted later on.—Pal mer Lake Herald. Our homes are the nation. Teach the children to be honest, virtuous, temperate, charitable, ami spend less energy on flighty appeals to men whose habits are formed. The sight of a prison never made a man or or woman honest.—Denver Graphic. The peal of a banana has a falling inflection.—Yonkc r Gazette. If a girl knows she is pretty it is not because any other girl told her so.—Atchison Globe. I have purchased the E. J. Rabb furniture store ai d undertaking busi ness, and will continue trade at the present location. All kiuds of furni ture repairing doue promptly. I will be pleased to meet all of the old cus tomers of the store and all those de siring anything in my line. A full and complete 6toek of furniture has been ordered, and I will endeavor to keep everything in iny line that the trade demands. I). C. Markke. Banana Line. Free reclining chair-cars arc run via “Santa Fe Route” between Den ver, Colorado Springs, Pueblo, To peka, Kansas City, Ft. Madison Galesburg and Chicago. Two trains daily between all eastern and west ern points. Fast line to San Diego, Los Angeles and San Francisco. Pullman Tourist Cars for all Califor nia points. Shore Line to City of Mexico. Round trip tickets on salo at reduced rates to all principle Tex as, Pacific ami Gulf Coast points, al so City of Mexico. Direct line to the celebrated Las Vegas Hot Springs New Mexico. Colorado Headquarters for this popular line 1700 Lawrence St. Den ver, Colo. California Excursions. Are you going to California? If so, read the following, and find out j how much it. will cost you, and what ! you can get for your money: The SANTA FE ROUTE runs weekly excursions (every Friday) from Kansas City and points west to San Francisco, Los Angeles, San Dingo anil other Pacific Coast points. The ticket rates are the regular sec ond-class rates—$35—from the. Mis souri River to principal California points. Pullman Tourist Sleeping- Cars are furnished. These cars run through, without change, from Kan sas City to destination. The charge for berth- Is remarkably low, being $3i00 for a double berth from Kan sas City to California. The Pullman Company furnish mattresses, bed ding, curtains and all sleeping-car ac cessories, including the services of .a norter, with each car. The parties are personally conducted by experi enced excursion managers, who giro every attention to passengers, insur ing their comfort and convenience. For more complete information re 1 garding these excursions, rates tick ets, sleeping-car accommodations, dates, etc., address Gko T. Nicnonsox, G. P. Jfc T. A, 1 A., T. & S. F. R. R. j Tojeivka, Kansas,