THE LAMAR REGISTER.
W« are here with our usual large stock.
Ry the Thousand,
Light and Heavy Wavens.Farm and Freight Wagons,
Ouen and Top Bugsies. Read Carts. Plows of all kinds,
Harrows. Farm Machinery. Windmills. Wooden and
No such stock ia south-east Golcradi, ss yen will
Find, in tlx is Store
A LARGE AND COMPLETE ASSORTMENT OF ALL
Kinds of Garden and Field Seeds.
, HV THE
.A.t Prices That Paralize a.ll
Jdvclf ; Jkauy parduuax,
Builders Material A Specialty.
M. L. Swift k Go.
Miih Sreet, * * LAMAR, COLORADO.
LAMAR, COLORADO, SATURDAY, FEB. 15, 1890.
All the world’s a stride, and all j
the men and women waut to ride on
j top. —Texas Sifting*.
Artful Dodger—Quito a spell we’er
having? Officer (putting on the
handcuffs) —Yes, quite a cold snap.
“You say that drinking is one of I
vour husband’s failures?” “Failures? ,
O, no. It is one of his successes.” — i
N«*w York Ledger.
The real autocrat of the breakfast j
t ible wears a big apron, carries a i
tray, and doesn’t bring in the coffee !
| until he get* good and ready.—Wash-
I ington Post.
What is 'Old Probabilities?’ “ask
ed Willie, who had been listening to
the conversation about the weather.
“It ih a glaring misnomer,” replied
i the old gentleman with a sigh.— i
Fenderson—What is the reason, I
i wonder, that fellow comes here every ,
i day or two to make a fool of himself? ■
Fogg—l don’t know, unless it is he!
believes in doing in Home as the '•
Homans do. Boston Transcript.
Blinks (after a long absence) —And
how is J inks getting along? Is he!
•is madly in love with Miss De Piet '
tv as ever? Old friend—O, he’s all J
over that. “You don’t say so.” Yes '
| indeed. Been married to her a year.” :
-New York Weekly.
Victor—l presume it was poverty
that drove you to commit the deed ;
hat brought you here? Convict--;
No, indeed, I was coining money.
Visitor—What were you engaged at? !
j Convict I was counterfeiting the
coin of the United States.—New
Figg—But I do not see how a min-,
i*ler of the Gospel can condemn wine 1
drinking, when it is so well known
that the Savior himself once tnrned j
water into wine. The Itev. Mr. i
Wdfus—Exactly. And any time;
you furnish me with wine made by J
the same process, I agree to drink all ;
I « at« possibly hold.—Terre Haute l
M innie—l wonder what ever be-j
••arno of Jennie Smart, who took hist
pii/.e in our graduating class? Min
nie—Why, don’t you know? She
wrote an article on “The Degrada-.
lion of American Womanhood,” got j
SI,OOO for it from a magazine, went j
: into Wall street, made a fortune and I
, went to Enrope aud bought one of the
sweetest little ptinces you ever sawl
• —Torre Haute Express.
The mountain lion has been heard
I from again this time in the Mention
! itc settlement, northeast of Granada.
I One night last week he ran Martin
! Dnaksen’s dog up on the roof of Lis
dugout. Martin, aroused from his .
peaceful slumbers by the sprining of i
the lion upon his roof, hastily grab-j
! bed a six-shooter, and, clad only in |
hi* nether garments, sallied forth to
conquer. The beast made for the:
• table with Martin in hot pursuit.
When victory seemed within his easy j
i grasp Martin discovered to his dismay ;
that his pistol had not a single load,
i Hastily retreating to his house and
| loading his pistol he returned to the j
; scene of conflict, and fired a bullet at
! the lion. The animal gave a low
j growl and was soon out of Martin’s
sight. The next day his path marked
in blood could be traced for a long
distance. A beast much larger than
a gray wolf has been seen lately l>v ]
others in that locality and no doubt j
it is the same one that lately terror
ized Granada. —Granada Exponent.
Legal papers were served on the
mayor and the city clerk yesterday
afternoon at the instance of Henry
Shaefer, who wauts SIO,OOO damages
from the city for false imprisonment.
Shaefer belongs to the Salvation
Army and last July was arrested for
parading the illegally. The
ordinance, however, referred to hab
itual parading and as tho evidence
had only shown Shaefor to have been
on tho streets once tho defendant
was discharged.—Pueblo Star.
The Fox and the Rabbit.
I swear.” »:»I<l a Fox to a Kabbit one day—
'Tld n story they often relate In the south—
" ' ou shall be, Mr. ltabblt.ere sunset iuy prey!’
And he threatened him fiercely with wide
The Rabbit set off at the top of his speed,
i Resolving by flight to get out of the-crape ;
, Rut. hotly pursued, soon discovered the need i
I Of adopting a trick to effect his escape.
j he ran to u well eurb which chanced to be
j A windlass that two spacious buckets pos
I And leaping In one-both were empty and
very quick at the bottom found safety and
I As one of the buckets suddenly fell.
The other and lighter rose equally fast;
| \nd when Uoynur.l arrived at the top of the
lie thought to himself, “I have got you at
"My friend, why Uldn’t you take them both
Said the Fox, as he bowed to the one that j
So high and inviting; “this nonsense we'll
And Into t'.io bucket exulting he sprung.
! You see his mistake ; for his heaver weight
To the surface the Kabbit full speedily drew,
! Who said, while ascending. “Life’s chunges
Sow up now daw! Mr. Reynard, adieu!”
! Then off hopped the Rabbit, and lived. I sup
Esteemed by bN friends, to a happy old
: While the Fox, when the day came at lost to
i Was caught by a Farmer and pnt In a cage.
! Now allot this proves what has often been
j sal 1
Of the slips that occur ’twlxt the Up aud the
I >olf up do not boast, there aro hazards ahead;
It down, don't lose courage, you soon may
—Phillip Rurrouglis Strong In Wide Awake.
“I was sitting down to work.” said
n book agent pestered man yesterday,
“when a pretty woman entered my
' offic o. No one would suspect that
: she wa« a hook agent. She placed a
I volume in front of me and began to
' talk I told her I would not buy the j
hook if I really wanted it. ‘Never!
mind,’ said she, gaily. ‘lt won’t cost |
; you anything to look at it.’
“As she desired, I did look at it
I read the introduction and then j
• chapter I. It was about 10 o’clock j
when I opened tin* book. At 11 j
i o’clock the pretty book ageut 'had !
j become uneasy. I never raised my
j eyes. Another hoar and she was
: pacing up and down the floor. At
1 o’clock when she had nearly worn
! herself out, I laid the book down
and, putting on my hat and coat, said
j to the thoroughly exasperated woman.
‘That’s a clever book, I regret that
I cannot read more of it, but I must 1
! away to dinner.’
| “She was tnad, but she didn’t say
! a word. Grabbing the book she
! shoved it into her satchel and made
I for the street.”—Boston Globe.
In Maine, there are 144 towns with
populations ranging from 1,000 to'
1,500 in which no newspaper is pub
lished. In all New England there ,
are more than 500 such places. Noth-!
ing shows the radical difference be- 1
tween the stagnation of the east anti :
the vitality of the west than this. In 1
the west there cannot be found a •
town of 500 people without a paper, 1
nor a town of from 1,000 to 2.000 j
without two or three of those reflect- j
‘ ors of intelligence and enterprise, j
And yet there are men fron New ;
England, right in the midst of popu
lous communities without a paper,
constantly coining west to find a lo
cation for one. If any man wants to
establish a paper in the west he must
! either go into a town of less than
' 500 people or else meet the competi
| tion of one or more that have pre
! needed him.—West Shore.
Several dogs have been reported
as mad during the past few days, and
i instances are talked of where it is
. claimed a rabid dog has bitten other
i dogs. Mrs. Sylvester, who lives near
• i the Fort Worth bridge, was bitten
!! by her own dog Monday. The ani
■ rnal showed signs of hydrofobia, and
! was killed. Dogs must be carrofully
i looked after, muzzled or tied, so as
. to prevent them from doing damage.
! The Pacific express company is
creating a breeze among their em
| ployes by sending oat blank applica
tions for a life insurance policy in
the expressman’s mutual benefit as
sociation, ana insisting that every
man in their employ who is not al
ready insured in some other company,
take out a policy in this association
at once. It seems also that the busi
ness is all done through the superin
tendent of the Pacific express com
pany, and that soveral employes have
already been asked to take their
choice between filling out the appli
cations, which give the men no idea
whatever as to what the expense will
be, and the alterative of looking for
another job. It is said that seven of j
the company’s drivers in Kansas
City quiet work on this account. —
T.as Vegas Optic.
I( the jim-crow agricultural de
part mentof our government at Wash
ington was to be credited we would j
be a mere pigmy agriculturally con
sidered. The late report from that
department gives us but 87,300 acres
planted wheat last season, when the
the facts in the case we had more i
than three time those numbers of!
of acres planted. The tacts in the
ease are that the department is j
too penurious to pay a dollar for ob
taing correct information and trust
to some cheap clerk to make an esti
mate. Not one dollar has ever been
oaid for compilling statistics from
Colorado. Secretary Rusk needs to
clean bis augean stable of incompe
tent barnacles. All we ask in Colo
rado is to be left alone. Do not in
jure us by ignorant reports. —Field
Lamar is also agitating the ques
tion of a flouring mill with promises
of ultimate success, considerable out
side capital is manifesting an inter
est in the enterprise and an extent
that will no doubt ultimately result
in the construction and operation of
a mill at that place. Lamar like Las
Animas is surrounded by the very
cream of agricultural portions of the
Arkansas valley and also like our
town she has delayed too long m
getting a movement upon foot for a
flouring mill, as the land could as
well be devoted to wheat raising as
; anything else with great promises of
| financial success in that specie of
crop.—Las Animas Leader.
The approach ot the day when the
American citizen will sit down to his
breakfast to drink imitation coffee,
sweetened with bogus glucose sugar,
and cat imitation eggs, or possibly
imperil his digestion with doughnuts
fried in imitation lard, appears not
• far away. Only the discovery of
i bogus cream for the coffee ami bogus
| flour for the bread is necessary to j
j make it possible for the common j
I American to take a meal without as-'
tonishing his stomach by a single j
i genuine article of food.—Pittsburg
j Majorities have not always ruled
! this country. Thirty or forty years
| ago, for example, a handful of slave
: holders dominated their party in the
North and ran the Nation’s affairs by
j their audacity and bull-dozing, The
I descendants of those men are nt
| tempting the same tactics now, but
1 they find that this time the majority
i lias the courage to assert itself.—St
Louis Globe Democrat.
I The Arapahoe county grand jury
j and Denver Republican have indict
ed State Treasurer Brisbane charged
| with receiving interest on public
j money. It is getting to be a huge
farce, this spite and indicting busi
j ness.—Rocky Ford Enterprise.
The daily Herald of this city has
suspended. Hard times is the reason
given. We hope business will im
prove soon, so it will resume publi
cation. The Weekly Herald will
continue.—Garden City Democrat.
With :t terrific cold in hit* head.
And hi* eyelids heavy and sore,
The editor sat in his broken chair.
And bitterly, eanestly swore.
A youth had dropped In with a poem,
A man was there with a dun.
And a chap had entered to tell him
How the paper to be run.
An Irate subscriber had told him
That his sheet wasn’t fit to be rend.
While another had carefully promised
To punch the editor’s head.
The foreman was veiling for copy.
And the wind whistled in at the door.
And tills, with a few other reasons,
Is why the editor swore,
llut tile angel who took It to heuven
Hccorded this verdict there:
“The Jury find, in the present case
’Twas a justifiable swear.”
There are many eidences of a cool
ing era ot progress and prosperty in
Palmer Lake Glen Park. The man
agers of the latter are now actively
engaged in making preparations for
a number of valuable impiovements
which will be noted later on.—Pal
mer Lake Herald.
Our homes are the nation. Teach
the children to be honest, virtuous,
temperate, charitable, ami spend less
energy on flighty appeals to men
whose habits are formed. The sight
of a prison never made a man or
or woman honest.—Denver Graphic.
The peal of a banana has a falling
inflection.—Yonkc r Gazette.
If a girl knows she is pretty it is
not because any other girl told her
I have purchased the E. J. Rabb
furniture store ai d undertaking busi
ness, and will continue trade at the
present location. All kiuds of furni
ture repairing doue promptly. I will
be pleased to meet all of the old cus
tomers of the store and all those de
siring anything in my line. A full
and complete 6toek of furniture has
been ordered, and I will endeavor to
keep everything in iny line that the
trade demands. I). C. Markke.
Free reclining chair-cars arc run
via “Santa Fe Route” between Den
ver, Colorado Springs, Pueblo, To
peka, Kansas City, Ft. Madison
Galesburg and Chicago. Two trains
daily between all eastern and west
ern points. Fast line to San Diego,
Los Angeles and San Francisco.
Pullman Tourist Cars for all Califor
nia points. Shore Line to City of
Mexico. Round trip tickets on salo
at reduced rates to all principle Tex
as, Pacific ami Gulf Coast points, al
so City of Mexico. Direct line to
the celebrated Las Vegas Hot Springs
Colorado Headquarters for this
popular line 1700 Lawrence St. Den
Are you going to California? If
so, read the following, and find out
j how much it. will cost you, and what
! you can get for your money: The
SANTA FE ROUTE runs
weekly excursions (every Friday)
from Kansas City and points west to
San Francisco, Los Angeles, San
Dingo anil other Pacific Coast points.
The ticket rates are the regular sec
ond-class rates—$35—from the. Mis
souri River to principal California
points. Pullman Tourist Sleeping-
Cars are furnished. These cars run
through, without change, from Kan
sas City to destination. The charge
for berth- Is remarkably low, being
$3i00 for a double berth from Kan
sas City to California. The Pullman
Company furnish mattresses, bed
ding, curtains and all sleeping-car ac
cessories, including the services of .a
norter, with each car. The parties
are personally conducted by experi
enced excursion managers, who giro
every attention to passengers, insur
ing their comfort and convenience.
For more complete information re
1 garding these excursions, rates tick
ets, sleeping-car accommodations,
dates, etc., address
Gko T. Nicnonsox, G. P. Jfc T. A,
1 A., T. & S. F. R. R.
j Tojeivka, Kansas,
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