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The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, January 03, 1906, Image 6

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Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn86063147/1906-01-03/ed-1/seq-6/

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CENTER OF BLOODSHED IN RUSSIA
Ancient City of Moscow Richest and Most Picturesque of All the Great
Towns in the Czar’s Empire.
Moscow, In the* streets of which ter
rible battles were fought between the
revolutionary mobs and the soldiers
of the czar, Is the oldest and most
famous city in the Russian empire.
In picturesque sights and wealth of
tradition it is not surpassed by any in
the world, and recent events have
made it still more historic, by adding
another bloody chapter to its chron
icles.
For many centuries Moscow was
the chief city of the realm, the heart
of Muscovy, where the czars held high
court Id the barbarously beautiful
ItaUdlngs which they erected to per
petuate their memory. Even now, al
though for reasons of convenience the
governmental activities have been
transferred to St. Petersburg, it is still
the official capital of the empire. Hero
the slow growth of years has built up
that mighty inclosure of palaces and
HEART OF CZAR'S DEFENSE IN MOSCOW.
The Kremlin, Walled and Moated, on One Side of Which Is the Fed Square
Where Troops Were Massed.
fortresses, the Kremlin, within the
walls of which are grouped many
famous buildings.
Scene of Many Tragedies.
Here Ivan the Terrible, murderer of
3.U00 men and women, held his grim
atway. Here, when a boy, Peter the
Great saw his two uncles butchered .
Here Boris Goodunuff. craftiest of the
boyars, smiled and cringed until his
chaace came and then usurped the
throne. Here every czar and scion of
the royal line of Rurlk has been
buried, usually after a violent end.
Here Napoleon's star began to set In
the smoke of flaming houses. Here
Grand Duke Sergius was blown to
pieces by a bomb less than one year
ago. If ghosts returned to earth to
haunt the scenes of tragedies, Mos
cow would he populated with uncan
ny shadows.
After passing down the very streets ■
which only the other day were stained |
with blood and strewn with corpses,
through the Red Square and along the i
walls of the Kremlin. Theophtle Gau
tier. the famous Frenchman of letters,
wrote
“Before long we reached the Kltal-
Gorod. which is the business quarter
on the Krasnala, the Red Square, or
rather the beautiful square, for In
Russia the words red and beautlful
are synonymous. One of the sides of
this Ls occupied by the long facade of
the Gostiny-Dvor. an immense bazaar.
Intersected by streets, covered with
glass roofs and containing not less
than 6.000 shops. The wail of the
Kremlin, or Kreml. rises nt the other
extremity, with Its doors pierced In its
.alee p-roofed towers. allowing a
glimpse over its battlements of the cu
polns. towers and spires of the
churches and convents within.
Church Like a Dream.
“At the other corner, strange as the
architecture of a dream, rises like a
vision the impossible church of Vns
tsill Mlujeunol. which causes the ren
ewal lo doubt the witness of the eyes.
•One gazes at it with every appearance
of reality and nsks oneself if it is not
,a fantastic mirage, an edifice of clouds
iHtrangely colored by the sunshine,
.that the movement of the air will
.transform or tuuke vanish. It is be
yond doubt the most original monu
ment in the world, recalling nothing
Hint one has ever seen, nor attaching
Itself to any order of architecture.
“A legend ts told of VnsslH Blajen
uoi that probably Is uot true, but that
does not on this account the less ex
press with force and poetry the feel
ing of dazed admiration this edifice
must have produced upon the half
Woman of It.
“No,“ she said, “I'm afraid 1 do not
love you enough to become your wife,
but I shall always bo your friend and ]
.sincerely wish for your happiness." j
"Oh, that's all right," ho rejoined. |
**l have made up my mind to “
“Please don’t do anything rash," j
ehe Interrupted.
'Til not," he continued. "I'm going
to propose lo Miss Plumplcigh to-mor
row."
"Oh. horrors!” she exclaimed.
“Please give me another day to con
sider. dear.”
Veteran Proofreader Retired.
Raymond Lynch, known as "Judge"
Lynch, veteran proofreader of the
Courier-Journal, has been retired by
that paper on a pension for life at full
pay. Mr. Lynch was born in Louis
ville In 1824 and in 1836 was appren
ticed to the Louisville Journal. With
one or two slight interruptions he con
tinued In tho newspaper business, go
!lng with the Courier-Journal when It
■ liipffhnrl the Journal and the Denu>-
onat in 1868. On Jan. 28 next he would
*have served exactly .•rnvtnty years.
barbarous times in which it was built,
so s'nguiar, so outside of all archi
tectural traditions. Ivan the Terrible
had this cathedral built as a thanks
ofTering for the capture of Kazan, and
when it was completed he found it bo
beautiful, udinirablu and amazing that
he ordered the eyes of the architect —
an Italian, it was said —to be put out
in order that he might not be able to
construct any other like it.
Architect Put to Death.
"According to another version of
the same legend, the czar asked the
author of the church If lie could not
build n still more beautiful one. and
upon his replying in the affirmative,
he had his head cut off, so that Vas
sili Rlujennoi should remain without
a rival. It would be difficult to Im
agine a cruelty more flattering In its
jealousy, and (his Ivan the Terrible
must have been nt bottom a true art-
ist. an impassioned dilletante. This
ferocity In matters of art displeases
us less than Indifference.'*
After speaking of the extraordinary
shape of the structure, seeming as if
"the architect, seated In the middle
of his w’ork, had beaten out a building
an repoußße,” Gautier, describes Its
amazing color scheme, or lack of it,
as follows: "What adds still more to
the extraordinary effect produced by
the Vasslll Blajennol ls that It Is col
ored from base to pinnacle with the
most Incongruous colors, which, how
ever. produce an ensemble both har
monious and charming. Red. blue, ap
ple-green. yellow, each claims its
place in the adornment of the build
ing. Columns, capitals, arches, or
naments. are painted in different col
ors that throw them out into power
ful relief. In the rare flat spaces.,
divisions have been simulated, panels
Inclosing pots of flowers, rosettes. In
terlacing chimerical flgures. Illumi
nation has storied the domes of the
heli-towers with drawings, like the
foliage on India shawls, and thus
placed, on the roof of the church, they
resemble the kiosks of sultans.
| "In order that uothing might be
i lacking to the magic effect of the
j scene, particles of snow, caught on
the projections of the roof, the friezes
| and the carvings, scattered silver
1 spangles over the variegated robe of
! Vissili Blajeunoi. adorning with a
M Duruovo, Minister of the Interior.
Map of Baltic Provinces, Russia,
Authority, and Minister Who
Progress in Railroading.
“Yes," 'says the lndv whose dress
case is covered with strange foreign
labels, “the way railroads are run
nowadays ls a great improvement over
what they were fifty years ago."
“But surely you had no experience
as a traveler fifty years ago." says
her friend.
"1 don't mean that. But nowadays,
don't you notice, when there is a
wreck it ls always had at some point
convenient to a cluster of farm houses
where the victims can go for coffee
and to get warm?”
Secretary Bonaparte's Joke.
Secretary of the Navy Bonaparte
rarely misses an opportunity to
make a Joke. The other day he re
ceived a visit from Admiral Endicott
of the bureau of yards and docks, who
aunounced that it has been decided to
use the government vessels Glacier.
Brutus and Caesar In towing the- great
new dry dock to Manila. "Perhaps.
Admiral," said the secretary, 'ft ro'ght
be well to put Brutus and Cae a*r under
peace bonds while they arr. «,-c gaged
in the work."
thousand dazzling points this marvel
ous deco.-ation.”
This cathedral, so strikingly de
scribed by the French writer, looked
down upon spaces where machine
guns were playing upon a desperate
•nob, and where, with pistols and hand
grenades, the revolutionists were giv
ing pitched battle to the well-armed
soldiery.
Within the forbidding walls which
rise just beyond the plluresque
church of Vasil Blajennol is ilie Acro
polis of Russia, the Kremlin, where
the sacred relics and the crown jewels
of the czars find nheiter Ivan 11. t'ir
roi.nded It with the parapets which,
restored and rebuilt ii many places,
ire now being fortified by the govern
ment ,'n order to prevent its uulldlngs,
within which are the richejc treasures
in the rvorld. from being looted by the
revolutionists. Outside its gates 25.
000 troops were massed bv Governor
General Dcubassoff.
Many Stately Buildings.
The Kremlin is an imposing collec
tion of buildings, standing upon a flat
topped hill that is enveloped by its
tower-flanked walls. It Is washed on
all sides by the River Volga, and its
outer circumference Ls nearly a mile
and a half long. Among the stately
edifices grouped together under the
one famous word "Kremlin" are the
ancient palace of the czars, the palace
of tho holy synod, the Church of the
Assumption, where the czars are
crowned; the Church of the Annun
ciation. in which they nre baptized
and married; the Church of St. Mich
ael, where most of them have been
buried; two monasteries, two bar
racks housing 3.000 soldiers, a monu
ment to the memory of Alexander 11..
who freed the serfs; the great bells of
Moscow, now cracked and voiceless;
the tower of Ivan and the national
treasury, in which all relics of the
Romanoff dynasty nre stored.
Gautier compares the Kremlin to
the Alhambra, saying:
"The Kremlin has many points in
common with tho'Alhambra. Like the
Moorish fortress. It occupies the top
of a hill; it contains royal demesnes,
churches, squares and among the an
cient edifices, a modern palace that is
imbedded in them as unfellcitously as
the palace of Charles V., among the
delicate Arabian architecture, which
it crushes with lts weight. The tower
of Ivan Veliki is In fact by no means
unlike the Torre de la Vela; and be
yond the Kremlin, as beyond the Al
hambra, lies stretched a scene of won
derful beauty, a panorama that the
ravished eye holds ever In enchanted
remembrance.
Oriental in Appearance.
"Strange as it may seem, the Krem
lin. as seen from the outside, presents
a more oriental appearance than the
Alhambra itself, with its massive red
towers that give no hint of the mag
nificence of their Interior. Above the
walls, with their sloping battlements,
peeping between the towers with their
carved roofs are myriads of cupolas,
like balls of shining gold, with tulip
shaped hell towers reflecting in the
sunshine a thousand colors from their
metallic sides. The wall, white as a
silver basket. Incloses this bouquet of
golden flowers, till one feels as if he
were gazing at one of yiosc fairy
cities built by the fancy of the Arab
ian story teller, a crystallization in
stone of the 'Thousand and One
! Nights.' And when winter sprinkles
i with its diamond powder these build
! lags beautiful as a dream, one could
| readily fancy oneself transported to
another planet, for nothing like to it
has ever been one's fortune to behold
before.”
The jewels, silver, gold and relics in
the national treasury within the
( Kremlin are claimed to represent an
intrinsic value of $600,000,000.
Center of Revolt Against the Czar's
is in Control of the Situation.
Expensive Discovery.
"No,” said the first man. "we did
not give our daughter a musical edu
cation. We realized when she was
very young that she simply could not
sing, and that was all there was to It.
Of course, we regretted it, but what
could we do?"
"I envy you." says the second man.
"Envy us? Why, your daughter has
graduated from two of the most cele
brated singing schools.”
"Yes, and it has cost me $4,000 to
discover that she can't sing a note,
either.”
Lee Not To Be Bribed.
While so much ls being printed
about high-salaried officials of insur
ance companies the Interesting fact
is recalled that forty years ago Robert
E. Lee was offered the presidency of a
northern Insurance company at a sal
ary large enough for those days. He
wrote that he hadn't the ability nor
the experience to command such a
salary. He was told that his name
was worth It. "What influence I
have with the southern people is not
for sale," said Lee.
Lives Spent in Peace
Russian Monks Dwell Always in
the Center of Monastic Stillness
(Special Correspondence.)
To the uninitiated a monastery in
Russia may seem an even less attrac
tive place of retirement than a monk's
cell under the glowing southern sky.
But those who know Russia will easily
realize that there are attractions and
possibilities which give a peculiar
charm to monastic life in that country
of striking contras;.of vast silent
places; of ceaseless turmoil on the
one hand and of dull monotony on tho
other. I have in my mind a monastery
on the banks of the Neva, not far
from St. Petersburg, which has always
seemed to me to be a very center of
perfect peace and rest. In summer
tho steel-blue cupolas of Its church rise
above the tops of the birch and rowan
trees that grow all round it and tho
small graveyard where the monks are
buried under high grassy mounds
adorned with humble little wooden
crosses of the shape which distin
guishes the cross of the Greek church
from that of Rome. The blue waters
of the Neva flash and gurgle close by,
Entrance to Church.
and far away countless spires and
cupolas, and a forest of masts, suggests
the capital and one of the great water
ways of the world. But round the
monastery the summer silence is un
broken.
A long, long avenue of gigantic
birch trees, such as only the high
north produces, with strong, straight
stems of silvery white and magnificent
crowns of fluttering foliage, runs far
into the flat country stretching endless
lessly behind the monastery. Where
the birch avenue ended we had dis
covered a tiny wooden cottage, stand
ing at the end of one of the famous
Russian strawberry farms; and when
tho great heat of the day was over
and we resumed our shoes and stock
ings. which in that lovely greenery
and on the short dry grass path of the
avenue we doffed as a matter of
course, we invaded the old peasant's
realm, and carried back to tea under ,
the birches a large birch-rind basket j
of strawberries ripened under a sky
which never darkens in June Into a
nearer approach to night than a rose
tinted dusk.
Like Fairyland Courts.
It was like going from one court in
Fairyland into another, to invade the
strawberry farm at the back of the
I monastery. The door of the ono-
I roomed cottage stood wide open at all
| times, and through the dusk of the in
terior there gleamed just one speck
of light from the little lamp hanging
. in the corner in front of the ikon with
its brown-faced virgin. There was no
furniture in the room over and above
a rough deal table and a shake-down,
and the peasant's bath and washstand
were supplied by the quaintest of
green earthenware vessels (I wish I
had now!) suspended from the over
hanging roof outside the front door.
It had three spouts, and from these
the old man (he showed us how he
did it, with a quiet smile) poured wa
ter into tho hollow of his hands, an«l
in this manner performed the ablu
tions he considered It well to perform
once a week. The strawberries he had
picked seemed to lack flavor after he
had guilelessly laid bare to us the se-
Shrine in Village Chapel.
crets of his toilet; but when we asked
whether we might pick our own sup
ply, so that he might send to market
all he had gathered, he assented with
smiling courtesy, and another fascina
tion was added to our picnic in Fairy
land.
In Autumn and Winter.
In autumn, when the great rafts
came down the Neva from unknown
places much further north, we sat on
the wooden seats In front of the
monastery church, listening to the
songs of the men on the rafts and
watching the wild geese and ducks
flying southward high overhead. And
now and then a monk would come and
sit beside us, offering u * hospitality
In the shape of a bunch of red rowan
berries, which he ate with obvious en-
Joyi-icnt.
But best of all and most enchanted
was the place in winter, when the blue
cupolas had high caps of dazzling
white snow, when the "Russian rob*
fns,” the beautiful birds with throats
of salmon pink, were fed by the
monks, and when the air glittered and
crackled with cold. There was a
service at the monastery at 6 p. m.
on Saturdays. We waited till the
rough drift ice from Lake Ladoga had
settled on the Neva, till all the open
spaces between the ice sheets wore
firmly frozen over, and till the sun,
during a spell of mild weather, had
somewhat smoothed the ice. Then at
5 p. m. on Saturdays we strapped oar
skates on. seated on blue ice. aad
glided down the river, pausing here
and there to career round a particu
larly smooth sheet of ice. At the mon
astery steps we took off our skates
and followed the thill stream of sheei>
skin-coated peasants into the church,
through the soft -gloom of which the
candles at the east end, near the gold-
en gates of the holiest of holies, shone
with white and fitful light.
Power in Simple Services.
There were no treasures of art In
that comparatively unimportant mon
astery church, but on the door, lead
ing I know not whither, there was a
painting of the head of John the Bap
tist on a salver, which drew and haunt
ed you with its spiritualized beauty,
its suggestion of many things passing
all understanding. The peasants pros
trated themselves on the floor; the
priests. In robes of gold and silver,
read In deep bass voices the Slavonic
texts, which no one understood. And
then, from a gallery high up at the
back of the church, there came a flood
of music which seemed less of the
earth than any other sound. Men’s
voices and boys', pure and rich and
very reverent, with notes of supplica
tion that seemed impassioned sobs as
the "Gospodl pomllul” .(Lord have
mercy upon us) rose again and again,
and with a final "Amen" that throbbed
and thrilled with exaltation.
When, after the service, we got
down to the Neva, the night had come
—;blue and clear and crowded with
stars—and into the teeth of the north
wind we skated up the river, with the
choir of angels and archangels still
singing in our ears.
There are monasteries such as this
all over Russia, on the banks of the
Don and the Dnieper as well as on the
Neva, near lonely villages and in the
vast plains of central Russia. And
wherever they are there hangs about
them the same mystery and the deep
peac that draw and hold you when
you stand in the Tato gallery before
the “Vale of Rest."
In Need of Rattlers.
Recently a Portland firm that deals
in flah and game received from a man
in an Idaho town this startling order:
Gentlemen—Please ship ine at once,
C. O. D.. one dozen live rattlesnakes.
Must be good biters.”
Not having ns many lire rattle
snakes on hand as the order called
for, the firm could not make the
shipment; but a letter was sent to the
Idaho man inquiring as to why he
wanted the rattlers. Here is an ex
cerpt from the letter received In re
ply:
"Three months ago I swore off from
drinking whisky. I was determined to
quit, so I took a solemn oath never to
drink another glass of whisky unless
I should be bitten by a rattlesnake
1 and need the liquor as an antidote.
Rattlesnakes aro mighty scarce In
! this part of the country. I have been
; out hunting for rattlers every day
this month, but have found none. Now,
! I am a man of my word. I do not in
| tend to violate my oath. Surely you
can get some rattlesnakes for me.
Please ship at once. This Is impoit
ant."—Portland Oregonian.
Clever French Hairdressers.
Observant travelers say American
women, as a rule, are noted for their
disheveled locks. Except among the
rich, no one can afford the coiffeur
every day, and the French maid, who
knows the mysteries of hairdressing
is also only for the rich. American
women do not take the serious view
of hairdressing held by their conti
nental sisters. In Paris, If a man of
moderate means has several daugh
ters. one is set to learn methods of
taking care of the hair and dressing
it to advantage. She attends to the
hirsute treasures of her family and
can earn a tidy sum among her
friends. American girls never think
of such a thing. They arrange their
own tresses, or on rare occasions pay
a shampooer. Parisians say a few
lessons will put an intelligent girl in
possession of the secrets.
Oldest English Clergyman.
The oldest clergyman in England is
the Rev. John Edward Kemp, who
has been in holy orders for seventy
two years, being now ninety-five
years of age. He has been chaplain
in ordinary to King Edward ada
IMI.
CHARLES GALLOP’S BUS
From “Down Country Lanes,” by Byron Williams
I wonder where Charles Gallop Ih—Twns him that druv the bus
Huik yonder where I ustci live, a little country cuss:
Charles Gallop he was hi* an’ tall. Ills ’bus was lone an’ stout,
Th* winders rattled scand'lous like, but never onct fell out.
I wonder now where Charlie Is? Why. that sleek span o* his
Could travel like th’ very wind when they got down ter biz.
And Charlie went to all the trains by day or In th’ night:
All over town you'd hear him go Jest at th break o light.
He’d sit high up there on th' 'bus an' “Old an!" to tli* bay!
An' then he'd sit up atraighter >lt an' "Gld ap. 'to th gray.
Tlun. mister man! th* teams he'd pass with rattling, jingling pace
An' sometimes he would let ’em lun. rejoicin' In a race.
Most always lots o’ people come into th* town by train.
An* Gallop knew 'em every one on seeln cm ngain.
The travelin* men would say. •■Hullo!" an' "Gallop, how are
While actresses would smile an smirk-an giggle. How-d -do.
Then Charlie'd holler "All aboard!" an* pull th’ door strap tight.
An’ drive like Tam O'Shanter did. across the bridge that night.
One time I went away from home to seek my fortune new;
I rode on top with Gallop then—Gee whiskers, how we Hew!
But when I come home In th; nighv. , sit down on th seat.
For 1 was reelin' sort o' blue an' ull worked out an beat.
I wonder now where Charlie is. a drlvln* them equine*.
A settln' straight away up there, an hoidin of th lines.
But nnvhow when Gah’rol calls, he noedn t make no fuss.
Ner send his spangled cheer-I-ut—l'll ride in Gallops bus.
Her Awful Moment
"The very awfulest moment of my
life?" inquired the chorus girl ad
justing her abbreviated skirts as she
sat on a property rock and, flinging
a cobwebby shawl across her as
toundingly decollete decolletege. "You
could never guess where It was spent.
In a Pullman car! The loveliest, fan
ciest Pullman car on the road per
haps. It wasn’t u moment, either, but
half an hour. I had been traveling
with a show called ‘The Jolly Jesters
avav out west. We had been on the
road a whole day and a night and we
were due at our destination at 8 the
next morning. Rising with the birdies
isn’t exactly in my line, but when
you’ve got you war paint on and must
be at rehearsal a little after cockcrow
you get madly excited sometimes;
and so the morning our train was ex
pected to touch the town I slid out of
my cozy cot at half —well, at 7 any
way. ,
"Before I slid out I put on a pair
of crocheted bed slippers and a flan
nelette wrapper and threw a pink
shawl over my head as a disguise
until I could reach the dressing room.
I had my cold cream box in one hand
and my tooth brush and a few other
first aids to nature in the other, and
I figured that at that hour nobody
would be up and I should have the
sweet calm of dawn to myself, to say
nothing of the looking glass. But,
alas, I had not reckoned with the
feminine rush that rudely breaks the
morn on a Pullman. After a frantic
disappearing act from berth to dress
ing room. I reached the latter only to
find the door locked.
"Foiled? Not a bit of it. Not me.
I peeked Into the car ahead of ours
and saw that all was dark and still
and lonely there. Wrapping my shawl
close around me. I opened the door,
crossed the platform and, to my wild
joy, reached the dressing room of the
neighboring car in safety. Once in
side. I gave myself up heart and soul
to the joys of an uninterrupted toilet.
"I noticed that we had stopped at
a little town somewhere in the wilds,
but I knew it couldn’t be my town,
Variety in Government Reports.
It is of the utmost importance that
some fixed standard for reporting crop
conditions and estimating yield should
be established which each succeeding
statistician will have no authority to
alter Without such standards com
parisons are worthless. The crop es
timate issued by the agricultural de
partment on Monday is a case in point.
Formerly estimates were made of
production In running bales. More
recently estimates were based on
bales of net weight. In the estimate
issued Monday the gross weight of
bales was the basis used. Clearly un
der such changed methods past com
parisons become worthless and the
true meaning of the latest estimates
is not understood by the masses of the
people for whose benefit they are is
sued. —New Orleans Picayune.
Fire at Human Targets.
The new musketry regulations of
the German army prescribe firing at
human figure targets only, and these
are to be colored gray. For kneeling
and prone firing portable rests are
used.
| so I remained calm and placid. When
! I had quite finished my labor of love
1 and art l emerged fresh and smiling.
' and made a dash for the platform. I
found the platform; oh, yes, the plat
form. but not my own sleeping car or
anything that was mine. They had
shifted at that little town by the way
side and left my car behind. Here
l was speeding toward God knows
where in a flannelette wrapper and
bedroom slippers. I don’t think I
fainted, but I just gazed hollow-eyed
at the receding track of waste and
wilderness behind us, and moaned
and moaned. Presently the conductor
came along with a suspicious look in
his eye. I pressed my hands to my
coiffure head and almost shrieked at
him.
j " ‘Stop the train!* I cried. ‘Stop the
i train! I’m not dressed.’
"The conductor’s look of suspicion
j changed to one of sympathy and
. alarm. I think he fancied that a luna
tic had stolen aboard his car in the
1 night-time. Anyhow he took me
1 soothingly by the arm and tried to
’ pacify me, and after awhile f sobbed
; out to him my whole pitiful story.
■ | "Say, do you know, I believe that
some conductors go to heaven. Any-
I way. that one will, and I never, never
1 j shall forget how he had that train run
back to that wayside town and lent
me his overcoat to hide in until I
• could get back to my mother-trunk
• | once more.
: * “As for the women on the car that
■ j tried to steal me, not one of them
> would lift a finger to help me. You
j see, they all knew that I was the eviJ
: genius who had kept them and their
» ' curly locks out of the dressing room.
1 , and they would have seen me die and
I go to heaven In that flannelette wrap
per and those crocheted slippers be
l fore they would have lent me a rag.
; Wasn’t It awful?”
"Oh, pshaw. Maudie,” remarked a
! girl In pink tights leaning against a
. ; wing. "You had on more clothes than
t you’ve got on now!”
, j “Last call!" cried the callboy, com
, ing in.
Gates as Writer of Humor.
On occasion John W. Gates, the
stock and turf plunger, shows a streak
of humor. Not long ago he was chat
ting with a number of literary men,
among whom were several humorous
writers. Mr. Gates said in a chatting
way: "You fellows havo no raoro
humor in you than stock statistics.
I'll back myself to write a funny piece
against you all.” Of course, the chal
lenge was accepted, thereupon each
competitor contributed his humorous
output, all the writings being submit
ted to one of the party for decision.
The referee awarded the palm to Mr.
Gates, whose effort was as follows :
"I hereby promise to pay Mr. Blank
the sum of |SO for his time and
trouble in' acting as judge to this
‘dope’ competition.” The other com
petitors unanimously concurred iu
the award.
His Point of View.
Nurse—See. Charlie, the stork has
brought you a nice little brother!”
Charlie—Yes. that’s the way! Just
ss I’m getting on in the world compe
tition begins.

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