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LAMAR. COLORADO. With apologies to the hen, why is a *reen hat? Mrs. Langtry is 50 years old —a facl Shown only by the records. • With a three-year-old emperor China should have no fear of the sovereign talking too much. Rockville, Conn" has the"distinction of being the first town to arrest an air ship for disorderly conduct. Some one has reported seeing a sea serpent off Newport, but maybe, after all. It was Just the back bone of winter wiggling into place. In prehistoric times, says a Chicago lady lecturer, woman was mentally the superior of man. Is she arguing that something has happened since? The simplified spelling board wants us to spell it "det." Of course that makes it easier to spell, but not any .easier to get out of a spell of it. A man in Chicago has been ordered by the court not to speak to his wife for two weeks or allow her to speak to him. Which one was the plaintiff? The daughter of Lombroso is com ing to this country to study our prls- ons. We may be thankful, after all I the other fulmlnations against it, that she isn’t coming to study our society. All the world Is ready to ndinlre tho taste of the man who fell in lovo with a young woman and married her because she thanked him when ho gave her his seat and when she turned and sat down "her waist and skirt did not separate.” A Philadelphia man left his son-in law 50 cents with which to buy a rope to hang himself. The beneficiary will probably forego tho bequest rather than comply with its conditions, but It is certainly a terrible tale to come from the City of Brotherly Lovo. Prof. D. C. Jackson of the Massa- ; chusetts Institute of Technology has been retained by the Massachusetts highway commission to mnkc a report regarding the telephone situation with special reference to the practicability of a reduction in rates and a higher efficiency of service. The official denial of the Abruzzi-El kins engagement will shatter a ro mance in which two continents were deeply Interested, and many will re fuse to give up the hope that the path of true love may yet be smoothed for the royal lover und the beautiful American girl of his heart. The recent refrigeration congress in Europe has reminded a student of his tory that Francis Bacon made the first experiments in the use of snow for tho preservation of meat. The people of New Zealand, who have been largely dependent on refrigerated meat, have shown their appreciation of Bacon’s discovery by erecting a statue of him suitably inscribed. A minister recently rend a paper be fore a Congregational church confer ence in Boston In which he called at tention to tho fact that in the mem bership of 56 churches in that vicinity only one child to each church was born during the year. Ills conclusion was that Congregational families are ceasing to perpetuate themselves and that Puritan stock Is dying out. Presi dent Roosevelt ought to look into this. , At the recent dedication in Bath of a tablet to Edmund Burke, Whitelaw Reid spoke in behalf of Americans in honor of their best friend in Great Britain. Burke has become almost a national hero in America, and It was be who phrased most eloquently many principles that are part of our tradi tion. His "Speech on Conciliation” Is a difficult piece for schoolboys, but it ought always to be a part of the pre scribed reading of young America. The Ohio-Mississippi coal trade, which persists to-day. Is one of tho greatest single movements of cargo in the world. From Pittsburg to New Orleans is 2,000 miles, all downhill. Coal in 1,000-ton barges is rafted Into fleets and towed down this distance by powerful steamboats at a cost of less than 75 cents a ton, against a railroad rate of about four dollars and fifty cents—from Pittsburg to Mem phis for 43 cents, against a rail rate of $2.70. The president of the University of Illinois has announced that dismissal will in future be the punishment of hazing, which he denounces as a vio lation of the right of individuality, provocative of public disorder, in its milder forms nonsensical, and in its coarser forms vulgar, brutal, always demoralizing and sometimes danger ous. Hence, he says, the university .cannot countenance or tolerate it. Buch a stand in the opinion of the In dianapolis Star generally Imitated, will soon end the practice. A Chicago burglar broke Into a hos pltalpital and took everything but the patients’ temperatures, we presume. Our referendum among leading personalities of this country on the question, "What is your opinion of the great men of Europe and America?” hns resulted as follows: Washington and Napoleon are the greatest favor ites, after whom come Hannibal, Cae sar and Charles XII. of Sweden. Among the most disliked are Brutus. Cromwell and Darwin.—Nihanoyabl Nlhonjlu (Tokyo). Light has dawned in the minds of some managers of the Pennsylvania anthracite companies, and .they are said to be planning to open schools in* - 'which operatives can be taught by experts how to meet the technical and foreseeable exigencies of their dan gerous calling. Better late than never. An oynce of prevention in mining, as in everything else, is worth a pound of remedy, says the Boston Herald. State supervision of obedience to law is necessary, but can be diminished In cost and severity by such action as Is now contemplated. NEWS TO DATE IN PARAGRAPHS CAUGHT FROM THE NETWORK OP WIREB ROUND ABOUT THE WORLD. DURING THE PAST WEEK A RECORD OF IMPORTANT EVENTS CONDENBED FOR BUBY PEOPLE. WESTERN NEWS. The twelfth annual convention of the American National Live Stock Associa tion will be held at I>os Angeles Jan uary 2Gth, 27th and 28th. The great government collier Pro metheus was successfully launched at the Mare Island, Cal., navy yard on tho sth inst. The vessel was christened by Miss Dollie Evans, daughter of Nav al Constructor Holdena Evans. The Carlisle Indian football team, in a game on the grounds of the Univer sity of Denver Saturday, defeated the university team by a score of 8 to 4. This showing places the Denver eleven high up in the list of football teams. The final bore in the Spring Gar den tunnel of the Western Pacific rail road, the Gould extension to the Pa cific coast, was made Friday, when fresh air passed through the entire length of 7,306 feet. This is the fa mous Beckwith Pass tunnel. As the result of the investigations of the Icderal internal revenue officers during the past two weeks concerning tho violation of the United States laws in regard to the manufacture and sale of oleomargarine, fourteen men were arrested In Denver. Harrimnn interests have placed or ders for general freight equipment val ued at $1,250,000 for tho Oregon Rail way and Navigation Company. The new order consists of 1,000 50-ton box cars, and the deliveries will begin some time in Janunry. That the Teller Indian school near Grand Junction, Colorado, will bo abandoned and the $300,000 property donated by the government to the state to be used as a normal school is the statement made by Senator Tel ler in a telegram received at Grand Junction. The mine operators of Arizona re ported to the United States Geological Survey for tho calendar year 1907 a production of gold, silver, copper, lead and zinc, valued at $55,511,560. Of this total the value of the copper output constitutes 92 per cent., amounting to 254,879,489 pounds, having a commer cial value of $50,975,898. Frederick A. Hyde of San Francisco, recently convicted of conspiracy to de fraud the United States of large tracts of land in Oregon and Washington, has been sentenced in the District of Co i lumbin criminal court to pay a fine of SIO,OOO and to servo two years In the penitentiary at Moundsville, W. Va., the maximum penalty under the law. An appeal was taken. Thy Borle cutoff on the Union Pa cific railway between Denver and Cheyenne is now operated for all trains regularly. Engines which heretofore required a helper between Carr and i Cheyenne, can pull the same weight over the cutoff without aid. The time j at present will not be changed, al though the new line gives an equiva lent ot fifteen minutes better speed in passenger trains and forty-five minutes lor freight trains. GENERAL NEWS. It is reported that the last stage coach used in the Yellowstone park is to give way to an automobile. According to a professor of the Uni versity of Chicago. John D. Rockefeller will devote $50,000,000 to the promotion of education in the Oriental nations, i Cuba will witness a modern automo bile race this winter. Plans are being made by the Cuban Automobile Asso ciation for a great road race In Febru ary. Triplets were born -a short time since to Mr. and Mrs. Ambrose E. Cal houn of Columbus. Ga. This couple now hns twenty-five children. The father is eighty-two years old. A constitutional amendment author izing a $50,000,000 bond Issue for high way improvement is the ambitious aim of Pennsylvania motorists. They are being ably aided by Edwin S. Stu art, the governor. Roily Mclntosh. 76 years old. chief of the Creek Indians, died at his home near Stidham. Okla., on the sth inst. Mclntosh had been a representative of the tribe in Washington for the last ten years. The revolutionary army, 8,000 men strong, marched into Port au Prince, Hayti. at 8 o’clock Saturday morning. General Anton Simon was at its head, and he was given an ovation by the people of the city. The entrance of the soldiers was orderly. Thai the wave of opposition through out the country to the liquor trade seems to be receding, was the key note of the reports from various state organizations made at tho closing ses sion of the National Liquor League in Washir.gton. Dr. G. G. McConnell, medical ox amlner-in-chief of the Knights of Pyth ias, announced at Chicago Friday that it has been formally decided that a sanitarium for tuberculosis patients affiliated with the order shall be es tablished near I-as Vegas, New Mex ico. The total winnings of King Edward of England for the racing season in England Just closed were $27,453 out of nine races with five winning horses. A $500,000 garage is talked of for Philadelphia. It will contain 287 'ooms, each large enough for two au tomobiles, which will be rented at $25 and S2O per month. In a letter read by Dr. Lyman Ab bott before the National League for the Civic Education of Women, Pres ident Roosevelt says that he believes in woman suffrage, but does not re gard it as a very important matter. P. J. O’Connor, former national pres ident of the Ancient Order of Hiber nians, former national president of the Catholic Knights of America, died at Savannah, Georgia, on the 9th Inst. The Putnam Hill chapter, C. A. 8., at Greenwich, Connecticut, will be in corporated to take over the house in which General Putnam spent the night before his famous ride down the stone steps. The number of bonded whisky losses in Kentucky this year has caused many companies to consider whether a moral hazard Is developing because of the rapid Increase in the prohibition and local option sentiment. Much curiosity has been caused by an announcement from Wisconsin that the sou of a wealthy resident of that state lias applied for patents on a new type of motor car which he expects tc market at $450. A total of 11,010,864 bales of cotton ginned from the growth of 1908 to Dec. Ist, and 26,922 active ginneries, against 8,343,396 bales ginned to Dec. Ist last year and 26,854 ginneries a year ago were nnounced in the census bureau report on cotton. Miss Mary Goodwin Pinkney, died in New York city on tho Bth inst. at the ago of ninety-nine. Miss Pinkney was credited with being one of the wealthy women of the world, tho value of her holdings in Manhattan real estate be ing estimated at $10,000,000. Premier Asquith lias announced that the British Parliament will not be dis solved. He declined to dissolve Parlia ment, he declared, at the dictation and caprice of the upper chamber. To ad mlt such a claim on the part of an irre sponsible chamber, the premier said, would be immeasurably absurd. John D. Rockefeller, in giving a 1 waiter a 5-cent tip at Brunswick, N. J., 1 a few days since, advised him to put it in a savings bank. "That’s what I did with my ppare cash when I was your age.” the oil man is quoted as say your age, the oil man is quoted as say-1 ing, “and it earned money for me.” The first postoffice wireless station in England was opened by Postmaster General Buxton on the 11th Inst. It is , situated at Bolthead, on the Devon shire coast, and is intended primarily for communication w’lth ships at sea. Mr. Buxton in a speech intimated that similar offices would bo scattered throughout the United Kingdom. "We must teach the lesson that chauffeurs, rich or poor, must have; due regard for tho value of human ■ life," said Judge Brazee In the Muni- 1 cipal Court of Milwaukee in sentenc ing William Goston. colored, to the reformatory for two years for running down and causing the death of Math ies Kurnth, an art student, September 27th last. Tho American Mining congress at its closing session in Pittsburg Saturday 1 elected J. H. Richards, Boise, presi dent; Dr. E. R. Buckley. Flat River, Missouri, first vice president; John Dearn, Salt Lake, second vice presi ' dent; W. F. R. Mills, Denver, third vico president; J. F. Callbreath, Den ver, secretary; directors, E. G. Brom ley, Denver; M. Foster Bain, Urbana, 1 Illinois, and Samuel A. Taylor, Pitts 1 burg. Headquarters will remain In Denver. Yournful air craft enthusiasts at Co lumbia University, New York City, forming the University Aero Club, are soon to have an aeroplane and a diri gible balloon for experimental pur poses. Tho balloon and flying ma chine vlll be presented to the club by a donor whose name has not been made public. It is probable that a meet in which machines of the stu dents will compete will be held at the university in the spring. Jay Gould 11. is an enthusiastic member of the or- 1 ganizvion and it Is said will contribute to the cause. NEWS FROM WASHINGTON. James E. McDonald of Pueblo, Colo., has been appointed linotype operator in the government printing office. Colorado Indemnity school lands se lection;-.. aggregating 13,067 acres in the Denver land district, have been ap-; proved to the state. An omnibus fish hatching bill, intro duced in the House by Representative Riley, appropriates $20,000 each for building fish hatcheries in twenty-six states, including Wyoming, Idaho Utah, Nevada and Ne\v Mexico. Mrs. Roosevelt has received the gifts which were brought from China by special Chinese Ambassador Tang Shao Yi. They consist of a handsome tiger skin lined with yellow silk and said to be one of the largest in exist ence; bolts of beautiful silk, sables and silver. A bill introduced by Representative Townsend of Michigan gives to the in terstate Commerce Commission . the power to prohibit an advance in rates in cases In which shippers individually or collectively protest against the ad vance prior to the expiration of the le gal thirty days’ notice. The bill places the burden on the carrier to show at subsequent hearings on the proposed rates that the increased rates are Just and reasonable. Gen. Henry G. Worthington, a for- ! iner member of Congress from Nevada. ' the only living pall-bearer at tho fu neral of Abraham Lincoln, was strick en with apoplexy on the floor of the House Thursday and WR3 conveyed to a cloakroom in a critical condition. He is over eighty years of age. In speaking to a committee of 100 of the Lakes to the Gulf Deep Water way Association, headed by Governor Deneen of Illinois, President Roosevelt declared that if possible he will have ' the authors of scandalous statements in regard to the Panama canal pur chase prosecuted for criminal libel. Republican senators at a largely at tended caucus unanimously elected Senator Hale of Maine chairman to succeed the late Senator Allison, In the chairmanship of the steering commit tee, which determines all important legislation of that body. Mov>ng pictures of wolf hunts turned the east room of the White House Tuesday night Into a miniature theater. Nearly 100 invited guests made up the audience. The "stage manager," was John Abernathy, friend of the President and United States marshal from Oklahoma, who catches wolves with his hands. TO INVESTIGATE MESSAGE HITS HOUBE COMMITTEE WILL CONBID ER PRESIDENT’S CHARGES AGAINBT CONGRESSMEN. CRITICISM RESENTED RESOLUTION QUOTES CLAUSES THAT HINT AT CRIMINALITY OF MEMBERB. Washington.—Representative Per kins of New York Friday introduced the following resolution: "Whereas, There was contained in the sundry civil appropriation bill which passed Congress at Its last session and became a law, a provision In reference to the employment of the secret service in the Treasury Department, and, "Whereas, In the message of the President of the United States to the two houses of Congress, it was stated in reference to that provision: ‘“lt Is not too much to say that this amendment has been of beuefit only, and could be of benefit only to the criminal classes,’ and It was further stated ‘the chief argument In favor of the provision was that the Congress men did not themselves wan to be Inves tigated by secret service men,’ and it was further stated, ‘but if this Is not considered desirable a special excep tion could be made in the law. prohibit ing the use of tho secret service force in investigating members of Congress. It would he far better to do this, than to do what actually was done, and strive to prevent or at least hamper effective action against criminals by the legislative branch of the govern ment.’ Now, therefore be It "Resolved, That a committee of five members of Congress of this House be appointed by the speaker to consider the statements contained in the mes sage of the President and to report to the House what action, if any. should be taken In reference thereto." The resolution was adopted. In submitting the resolution Mr. Per kins said: "The statement* made by the Presi dent cannot be lightly regarded. They may be so construed by the public as to lessen the dignity and thereby im pair the usefulness of the Congress of the United States. It can be justly said, I think, that these expressions were unfortunate. Whether It is enough to say this, or whether some more for mal action should be taken it. will be for Congress, exercising a wise and dis creet Judgment, to decide." The Presidential Vote. New York. —According to figures compiled by the New York Times, the vote for Taft in the recent election was 7.659.688, as' compared with 7,623.486 for Roosevelt in 1904. The Democratic vote is given as 6.450,690, as against 5.077,971 four years ago. According to the table, the Socialist vote was less this year than in 1904. the respective, figures being 401,506 and 402,288. Fewer votes were cast for the Proh.bitlon candidates, the count standing 228,014 last fall as com pared with 258,636 in the late presi dential year. Holland Seizes Venezuelan Ship. Will* msted, Cuaracao. —The Dutch cruiser G elder land on Saturday morn ing captured the Venezuelan coast guard Bhip A!ix outside Puerto Ca bello. The Dutch flag was hoisted over the Alix outside Puerto Cabello and the crew of the Alix „ was put ashore.. The guard ship was then manned by a Dutch officer and ma ate during the last session, accepting though the seizure of the Alix was plainly discernible from Puerto Ca bello, the forts there did not fire upon the Gelderland. Boundary Bill Passed. Washington.—The House of Repre sentatives Saturday passed a joint res olution which was adopted by the Sen ate durin gthe last session, accepting and establishing the thirty-seventh par allel of north latitude, as established by the Carpenter survey and accepted by the Interior Department in 1904, as the true boundary line between the state of Colorado and Oklahoma and the ter ritory of New Mexico. Cook of Colo rado favored and Haggott opposed the resolution. Taft to Visit Panama. ■Washington. President-elect Taft contemplates a visit to Panama before his Inauguration. This visit is ap proved by President Roosevelt and Secretary Root, while It has not been finally determined upon, Mr. Taft an nounced that It was his inclination t 0 go. Should this be his final decision, he will depart the last week In Janu ary’ for a trip which will cover ap proximately twenty days. He sees many reasons why such a trip would be of advantage. Following are the new officers of the Denver Convention League, elected by tin board of directors of the Den ver Chamber of Commerce: President. C. H. Morse; first vice president, C. H. Reynolds; second vice president, George H. Knifton; secretary, W. F. R. Mills. Mr. Morse was until a few months ago proprietor of the Oxford, when he sold out and went for a trip around the world. Since his return he liaa been elected president of the Rocky Mountain Hotel Men’a Associa tion. General Superintendent W. L. Park of the Union Pacific has issued a statement of the finding of the board of Inquiry that investigated the recent wreck at Borie in which ten lives were lost The statement declares that Improper manipulation of air by Engineer Schley, one of the men killed In the collision, resulted In bis not having sufficient pressure to control the train when the emergency arose, and that had the train crew responded prompt ly and properly with hand brakes the soeed of the train might have teen checked and controlled in time to have prevented it from crash ing into the work train at Borie. COLORADO ITEMS The Colorado Kennel club will hold a bench show in Denver next Spring, j The formal transfer of the Crowe reservoir site on Pike’s Peak has been 1 made to the city of Colorado Springs. The Crystal Theatre Company, cap italized at $12,000, has been Incorpor ated to conduct a vaudeville theater at Greeley. Excavation has been commenced for the new county court house at Pueblo. The contractors expect to be ready to lay the cornerstone January Ist. It Is stated that Mayor Speer is plan ning for a municipal news weekly In Denver to contain reports of the va rious departments of the city govern ment. On January 28th Leadville will cele brate its thirtieth anniversary by a "home coming” of Leadville pioneers. There will be "high old times” —about two miles high. Manager A. B. Hullt of the Kansas- Color&do Power and Transmission Company, expects the road to be com pleted from Pueblo to the top of the Royal Gorge by May Ist next. Tho Grand Junction city council has by unanimous vote Instructed the chiel of police to wipe out every house of ill-fame within the city and see that they remain closed. The Denver school board has called a special election to be held on January 16th for the purpose of voting on a bond issue of $1,000,000 to provide for the erection of new schools. On the night of the Bth inst. fire destroyed the shaft house and build ings of the Mesa Mining & Milling Company at Unaweep, entailing a loss of $12,000. There was no insurance. Another 5 per cent, dividend has been declared by Richard H. Malone, receiver of the defunct Fidelity Sav ings Association of Denver. This divi dend means the disbursing of $41,000, and makes a total of 40 per cent, paid to depositors. Stephen N. Bennett, a pioneer nearly eighty-three years old, and brother-in-law of ex-Lleut. Gov. Brush, died at Greeley on the 10th inst. of disease Incident to old age. Mr. Bennett came to Greeley over thirty years ago. 1 Railway mall service to Walden, Colo., from Laramie, Wyo., will soon bo turned over to Laramie, Hahn’s Peak A' Pacific railway, going by train to within thirty-five miles of Walden and then by star route. At present seventy miles is covered by stage. The scientific students and members of tho University Scientific Society of tho State University are cooperat ing wi‘h the office of state dairy com missioner for the purpose of purifying the milk and milk products which are produced in Boulder county. Calvin Phillips, who killed his fath <«r-in-law, George Banbrldge, July 4th, and who was found guilty of murder in the second degree, was sentenced by Judge Garrigues tn the District Gourt at Greeley on the 9th Inst, to not less than 10 nor more than 15 years in the penitentiary. There Is still talk at Fort Collins of Secretary of Agriculture James Wilson becoming president of Colorado Agri cultural college. While It has not been definitely decided who will succeed Dr. B. O. Aylesworth, and probably will not for several weeks, there are rumors that Mr. Wilson will be chosen. At C ripple Creek on the 9th inst. Charles Hathaway, head timberman at the Vindicator main shaft, was drawn into the shave wheel at tho head of the gallows frame and seri ously injured. He is secretary of the Cripple Creek District Pioneers’ Asso ciation, Weld county claims to lead the state in the increase of votes cast at the las* election. In 1906 the county cast 6,100 votes, and this year 10,700. Estim?ting from the vote of two years ago. Weld county people claim that the population was then 26,000 in that county, and according to the vote this year, 38.000. Work on the Riverside reservoir in Larimer county has been completed und 525 cubic feet of water a second is now being run into this, the largest reservoir in the county. The Riverside Irrigation Company has completed fil ings on the reservoir site of Wildcat creek and will commence construction as soon as possible. At Cripple Creek Tuesday William Campion, a brother of Andy J. Cam pion, a commission man of Denver, sat down in a chair in the lobby of the Na tional hotel and went to sleep. A few minutes later a porter discovered that I Campion was dead. The coroner’s au , topsy disclosed the fact that death was due to a blod clot near the heart. Campion was a butcher, thirty-four years old. He leaves a widow. The Denver Reservoir Irrigation Company has just let a contract for the completion of the Stanley Lake dam, i one of the chief works of the project, five miles north of the city limits of Denve-. Keneflck & Quigley, of jKan sas C’ty, have undertaken the work for $426,000. To date on dams, canals and tunnels for the system, the Irriga tion c ->mpany has let. contracts calling for an exi>enJiture of about $1,620,000. At a recent election Colorado Springs decided by an overwhelming I majority to have a charter. Twenty one taxpayers will be elected on Janu -1 ary 19th as delegates to a charter con vention and within sixty days they will submit a draft of the proposed charter. The commission form of government is beiu; lnestigated. ! A Colorado Springs millionaire, whose name is withheld, is understood to have promised $25,000 toward tho proposed new gymnasium for Colorado College, provided an equal sum can be ! raised elsewhere. j Construction of Denver’s federal building may be commenced at any time after the present lease on the site expires, February Ist. Congressman Bonynge telegraphs from Washington that no extension of the lease Is con templated. He expects to secure an additional appropriation during the present session. In the District Court at Ouray on the sth Inst., C. H. Gray and Kenneth Mayes, who pleaded guilty to an at tempt to rob the Bank of Rldgway, were sentenced to five to »Ix years in the penitentiary. YOUTHFUL MONITOR AT WORK. Little Sister's Error Corrected by Six- Year-Old Authority. Six-year-old Marjorie and four-year old Josephine were making their first transcontinental trip from New York to San Francisco—and, of course, en countered new marvels at almost every turn of the trip. But the cre scendo of their ecstatic outpourings was reached when they saw their first Indian families —braves, squaws and papooses. "Oh-h-h!" sighed Josephine, gazing wild-eyed at the moccasined, gaudily blanketed squaws, “ain’t those squashes just splendid, though!” Marjorie’s equally deep admiration was momentarily quenched in her feel ing of responsibility as elder-sister monitor, and she eyed Josephine se verely as she admonished: "They ain’t squashes, Josephine: they’re squabs.” INVALID’S SAD PLIGHT. # After Inflammatory Rheumatism, Hair Came Out, Skin Peeled, and Bed Sores Developed—Only Cu»i cura Proved Successful. "About four years ago I had a very severe attack of inflammatory rheuma tism. My skin peeled, and the high fever played havoc with my hair, which came out In bunches. I alrfo had three large bed sores on my back. I did not gain very rapidly, and my appetite was very poor. I tried many 'sure cures’ but they were of little help, and until I tried Cuticura Re solvent I had had no real relief. Then my complexion cleared and soon I felt better. The bed sores went very soon after a few applications of Cuticura Ointment, and when I used Cuti cura Soap and Ointment for my hair It began to regain its former glossy ap pearance. Mrs. Lavina J. Henderson, 138 Broad St., Stamford, Conn., March 6 and 12, 1907.” LID IS ON. "Aren’t you almost ready for church?” "I’m sorry, but something dreadful has happened. I can’t go to church to-day.” "For heaven’s sake, what has hap pened?” “Tho cook is wearing one just like mine!” Why Joyner Left Home. "Are you ready to receive the obli gations?” asked the most upright su preme hocus-pocus of the Order of Hoot Owls. "I am," said the candidate, firmly. "Then take a sip of this prussic acid, place your right hand in this pot of boiling lead, rest your left hand upon this revolving buzz-saw, close your eyes and repeat after me —" Early next morning shreds of Joy ner’s clothing were found upon tho bushes and trees all along the road to Pottsvllle, 30 miles distant, and at Scrabbletown. 69 miles away, ho was reported still headed west.—Judge. An Experienced Walker. Champion Hayes of Marathon fame, praised at a dinner in New York a walker. "He is a walker?" someone said. "Yes,” said Mr. Hayes, "and the next race he enters, mark me, he will win.” "Why, I didn't know he had had any experience as a walker,” said the other In a puzzled voice. Mr. Hayes laughed. "No experience as a walker, eh?” said he. "And the fellow's owned an SBO second-hand motor car for the last two years!” $100 Reward, $100. Th* reader* of this paper will be plowed to lean that there la at leaat one dreaded dlaeaae that science has been able to cure In all Its s tax re. and that Is Catarrh. Hall'e Catarrh Cure la the only positive cure now known to the medical fraternity. Catarrh l>enut a constitutional disease, requires a constitu tional treatment. Hall's Catarrh Cure Is taken In ternally. acting directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the system, thereby destroying the foundation of the disease, and giving the patient strength by building up the constitution and assist ing nature In doing Its work. The proprietors have ao much faith in Its curative powers that they offer One Hundred Dollars for any ease that It falls to cure. Hend for list of testimonials Address F. J. CHBNEY * CO.. Toledo. O. Hold by all Druggists. 75c. Take Hall's Family l’Uls for constipation. Hoodooed. A poor devil asked for alms. The inquisitive man questioned him. After a few interrogations he said to his companions: "Boys, don’t give him a cent; he’s a fraud.” The beggar re plied: "Gents, I am under a hoodoo. I’m an unlucky man. I do believe if I were to seize time by the forelock it would come right out and leave me as bare as a barber’s pole.” Then they all chipped In. DISTEMPER In all its forms among nil ages of horses, ns well as dogs, cured and others in same stable prevented from having the disease with SPOHN’S DISTEMPER CURE. Every bottle guaranteed. Over 500.000 bottles sold last year. *.50 and SI.OO. Any good druggist, or send to manu facturers. Agents wanted. Spohn Medical Co., Spec. Contagious Diseases,Goshen, Ind. Notified of Mail Delivery. For use on rural delivery routes a letter box has an electric attachment which gives the alarm in the house some distance away when mall matter has been deposited within by the car rier. Cured by Suggestion. Howard—Did you ever know any one who was cured by suggestion? Coward —Yes. I cured the duke’s in fatuation for my daughter by sug gesting that he lend me $6. —Judge. Trade of the United States with Its American neighbors in 1907 amounted to nearly $1,000,000,000, against a lit tle more than a third as much a decade ago. If you have not much time at your disposal, do not fall to profit by the smallest portion of time which re mains to you.—Fenelon. PILES CURED IN 6 TO 14 DAYS. PAZO OINTMENT Is guaranteed to care any care of Itching, Blind, Bleeding or Protruding Piles In •to 14 days or money refnndo- . 60c. Give some people their pick and tboy’ll pick flaws every time. SAN LUIS VALLEY ELECTRIC LINES COMPANY INCORPORATED TO BUILD AN EXTENSIVE IN TERURBAN SYSTEM. STOCKED AT $500,000 PROPOSED ROUTES COVER PRIN CIPAL SECTIONS OF THREE LARGE COUNTIES. Denver. —If the project which has been launched by a new company is carried out towns in the San Luis val ley are to be connected by an interur ban electric system built by a com pany which will spend over a half million dollars on the project. Accord ing to incorporation papers filed on the 9th inst. with the secretary of state by the San Luis Valley Interur ban Railway Company, the line will ex tend through Saguache, Rio Grande and Conejos counties. It will branch out, running northeasterly from Del Norte to Center, In Saguache county; from Monte Vista north to Center; from Alamosa northeast to Center; from Center west to Devil’s Gate res ervoir on Careno creek in Saguache county; from Center north to Sa guache. The incorporators are John M. Mos er, E. L. Fleshman, Adam J. Weiss, W. W. Adams. Leland A. Bernard, George W. McGraw and James S. Warren. The amount of capital stock is $500,000, but more money will be expended before the line is finished. State Y. M. C. A. Convention. An elaborate and interesting pro gram is being arranged for the twenty second annual convention of the Colo rado Young Men’s Christian Associa tions, which will be held at Colorado Springs February 4 to 7, 1909. It is ex pected that this convention will be the largesc meeting of association men to consider religious subjects that has ever been held in the Rocky Mountain region. The committee in charge of the program has been authorized to expenu more than double what has ever been spent on any preceding con vention. Amorg the list of leaders are a num ber O'' men of international reputa tion,. including the following: Dean Edward I. Bosworth of Oberlin Theo logical Seminary; Mr. G. S. Phelps, secretary, Toklo, Japan, Y. M. C. A.; Mr. Clarence B. Willis, general secre tary, Milwaukee association; Pres. John Willis Baer of Occidental Col lege. I.os Angeles; Mr. John H. Board man, secretary county department international committee, Y. M. C. A.; Dr. George J. Fisher, secretary physi cal department, international commit tee, and Judge Selden P. Spencer of St. Ix>uis, president of the last inter national convention. In addition to tills exceptionally strong list of lead ers frem outside the state, a score or more of strong Colorado business men have been secured to participate in the program. A feature of the convention will be a complimentary banquet to conven tion delegates and business men of Colorado Springs. Other features will be Bible studies, evangelistic meetings and conferences and discussions about the practical work of the Young Men’s Christian Asociation. The sesions of the convention will be open to all men, whe.uer members of the associa tion or not. Program and detailed In formation may be obtained from the State office, 212 Association building, Denver, Colorado. State Capitol Enlargement. Denver.—The News of Friday morn ing says: An addition to the State Capitol building to cost $275,000 is a recommendation which Governor Buch tel will make in his message to the Seventeenth General Assembly. The governor’s recommendation will be made as a resuit of a meeting of the board of capitol managers yesterday, when the proposed enlargement was agreed upon. The proposed addition will be on the Grant street side, thus giving the building almost the exact form of a cross. It will be 80x140 feet, with basement and three stories, to corre spond in all respects with the wings on tho Colfax and Fourteenth avenue sides. The same kind of granite will be used In construction. A movement has been started to or ganize a new mining stock exchange in Denvo:\ The sixth annual banquet of the Grand Junction Chamber of Commerce was held on the night of the 10th inst. The new town of Kuner, nine miles east of Greeley, has notified C. S. Mor ey, president of the Great Western Sugar Company, that it will donate eighty acres for a building and furnish water If he will establish a sugar fac tory there. Kuner town has a large cultivated area tributary to It. Former Governor Frank S. Black of New York, one of the foremost law yers cf the metropolis, will come to- Denver some time In January to ad dress the Dartmouth Alumni Associa tion. which now has 150 members. Following the campaign conducted by thd Colorado State Commercial As sociation by the publication In "West ern World" at Denver, of maps show ing the vacant land in Colorado avail able for settlement, many Inquiries from the East are reported by Secre tary James C. Craig of the associa tion. Christmas will be celebrated in the big auditorium of Denver by the Colo rado Traffic Club, which will set a monster Christmas tree, provide mu sic and entertainments and supply gifts for 10,000 or more children.