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VOLUME XXIV. GANDERBONE’S FORECAST Copyrighted 1909. by C. H. Relth. FOR APRIL. I dreamt that I dwelt in overalls. With Nature all around me; And the smiling countryside in thralls Of deep affection bound me. I loved to milk and do the chores Around that simple dwelling. And 1 didn't give a whoop outdoors How groceries were selling. I dreamt that I dwelt in overalls. With hired men to serve me. And something when misfortune falls To happily preserve me. I heard the lowing of the kine As deep-toned as an organ. And the thrills of ownership was The same as Mr. Morgan. 1 dreamt that 1 dwelt in overalls. As all the railroads want me; And the city and its gloomy walls Were nevermore to haaat me. 1 lived on something more than crusts. With nothing much to fret me. And I hopped around and dared tlu trusts To come out there and get me. April was anciently the second month, and it was entirely satis factory in that position until the founding of Rome. This occurred upon April 21, and the Romani found it necessary to keep the day with one o>f their patriotic parades. After they had lost most of their toes and stopped the parade three or four times while everybody went in and got warm, they yielded sec ond place on the calendar to Febr uary and choved April along to balmier weather. The name is from the Latin Aprlllis, or the opener, who was the Roman God of poker. This was a great pastime with the Romans,.and it so deeply impressed Itself upon the national life that Aprlllis becam In time a sort of all aronnd cork screw for opening Spring or what ever else pertained to the Roman ex perfence. It was a form of humoi among the Romans wits to say that Aprlllis had opened Spring and bet a robin or something similarly char acteristic, and the weather bureau o that time wholly confined its con jectures to what Aprillis probably held or would draw, which mad< this branch of the Government n great favorite with the people, in Htead of something that everybody damns, as it is with us. The gentle rain will green the lawn, and seed the Congressman sent on to prove his usefulness to m«r will hazard the insurgent hen. The breath of summertime will blow, the sap and poetry will flow, and the farmer wijl deny his dog to feed that S3O hog. The playful colt will piroutte And turn the double summerset. The festive calf will buck and snort And tip up where his hair is short. The farmer will get his corn. The meadowlark will wake the morn And IMnchot will display the welt He got to Papa Roosevelt. For All-Fool's Day you may re joice to learn that you will have your choice. The first, the sixth and twenty-onct have all been beau tifully dunced; but of the three it may be said the first is virtually dead, whereas the sixth is something new. It is the day that Peary drew himself erect and said, to-wit: “This is the pole, and I am it.” And likewise on the twenty-rtrst an other great explorer burst upon that quiet Artie nook and cried, ‘‘Eureka tally Cook.” Just help yourself to either date you care to keep and cel ebrate. It matters not which one is set, since nothing has been settled yet. The first of Apr'l Teddy lands Upon the dock at Naples, With lion blood upon his hands. And skins and other staples He’ll then proceed by easy trips To lecture toward New York, And add to Europes* scholarships The study of the stork. Upon the night of April 8, or some not very distant date, we shall at last with naked eye see Halley’s comet in the sky. It will appear to be a stick of living fire and twice as thick as that which Roosevelt was wont to carry when he made his haunt around the capltol. Its head will wave this way and that, and dread will seize upon the people who have not been giving us our The Lamar Register due. Our Uncle John will push his plan io elevate his fellow man. And as the comet closes in. He'll grow Impatient to begin. Our Uncle Andy will recall inat lie has not begun at all logive, and Uncle Fiery himself Will scatter his abundant pell. me Rockefeller fund to date is an mere is to demonstrate ihe comet's usefulness, nut wait until the money syndicate hooks up and sees that awful sign upon the sky. They’ll get in line io square themselves the trusts will ail Go forward to repent, and bawl now! around upon tneir sums, imploring pardon for their sins. And then the census man Will come around the house and uaw auc uum. He’ll lead at this and leau **. inu,i, and ask the oiruipiace oi tue cat. ne ii iiddie here and potter mere, and take a sample oi your uair. He 11 measure you uetweeii.i.ue eyes, and ngure and philosophise. He'll make tue acid test for weaau, uiid ass oi everybody’s health He ii >ouut tne children and tue gouts, and ass how much you have in oats, lie’ll sic* nis shins against uis uives, and add and multiply ms .tick around, andiinaily declare nis round and ask the womenfolks theii exit bleeding irorn tne stage borne fifteen minion, it is saiu, •in go to see how many head there are of us, or black or white, or whether we can read or write, and a hat the plus of women is that no one yea is calling his, ond other un important facts concerning our do mestic acts, when most of us to ail intents, would rather have the lb cents it costs us per, and do not care now many of us have red bair.or rlio can read and who can write, so .ong as simply throwing light upon cue matter doesn’t make the bacheloi spruce up and take the pining spin ster to his heart, or teach unlettered • oiks the art of writing or as far os we, at least, are competent to see improve our happiness a bit, but congress wills, and so he It. - April will chiefly consist of Taft •veather, with occasional showers, ihe moon will be in apogee on the .:4lh. which will be the last day the log wi<l Jump over it. Mr. Cannon *lll be storm center. And then the month of May will come. Of all the months the worst. And forty kinds of bugs will fight To see who saw us first. Atop “CuMiiiig" and Begin Thinking. Gentlemen who insist on “cussing me la*in for the higu cost of living -mould ta.se a copy of the new larili •aw in one hand and a price list of groceries and meats in the other aun iUiorm tucmselves. Maybe they wul iiud what the philosophers call »ood for thought. And it isn't a • eiy high price for that sort oi food, either. It is Just a little com parison. For example. It will be noted that the tariff rate has been increased on iigs, pineapples, dates, hops, aplit peas, grapes In barrels, buckwheat Hour —and all of these things either remain at the old prices or have been reduced 'n cost to the consum er. And we only see one chance for the "cussing” gentleman to reply. He may say he doesn't care for hops anyway. On the other hand, the tariff has been reduced on beef, bacon, mutton veal, pork ham, barley, green peas, dried peas, cream, starch, cabbage iard, cornmeal and sugar, among other things—and on all these things, or nearly all of them, the prices have gone up. There is no question of the high price of living. But it isn’t fair to charge the tariff with being the cause of it. For the tariff doesn’t do it—as the facts and figures show Living costs more and more be cause more and more the people who produce have quit producing and have gone into the consuming class. And there is litile hope of the cost of living getting down to old-time prices until the tide of population turns from the mill*} and the cities, and the millions now dependent on wages—or chalrity— turn to taking care of them9evles by raising what they need for food, and a little for the market. Then things will get down to the normal —and not until then. —Salt Lake City "Herald." WET TOWNS CHANGED TO DRY LIST. Lamar,. .. . Population 5,000 Monument,. .Population 150 8a5a1t,.... Population 100 OPTISIij O®* PM3-VE263 COVWT X LAMAR. PROWERS COUNTY, COLORADO, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 0, 1910. OUR SODA FOUNTAIN LOWNEY’S CHOCOLATES is now open and we invite you to call and try a glass of our “““““~— Delicious Ice Cream or Ice Cream Soda with Pure Fruit New fresh lot just received in packages from 10c to Flavors $1.50. It costs you no more to buy LOWNEY’S than the We have the finest and most sanitary Soda Foun- ~ . tain in the county and our goods cannot be excelled. REXALL REMEDIES TABLETS, BLANK BOOKS We sell them .... Mucu-Tone Reg. $l.OO our price 85c Rexal Kidney Remedy $l.OO our price 85c We have just received’. fine line of Tablets, Blank Rexall Cod Liver Oil Emulsion Reg. $l.OO our price 85c Books, Fine Box Paper etc. Rexall Hair Tonic Reg. $l.OO our price 85c Rexall Orderlies Reg. 25c our price 20c It will pay you to see'our'line before buying. OLD RELIABLE W IT A I\| foLD RELIABLE Druggist, Sntiostr. Jeweler. BUS IUS IfSkl 1 Druggist, Sitatisser, Jenter. (Successor to McLean Bros.) ■ v :■ C '" •. of the regular Easter events in felfe - Washington is the egg-rolling by v : mm on the White House lawn; l ' ' t \ ' , /••'•"j?. ‘ | ..j- ; frw’l ‘Jfek anjr can com *i no distinctions. sji . One of the regular Easter events in Lunar is the wear* f’S^ '' ' vi: ' ing of new Spring clothes, bought ir '.ais store; and pre limin,ry to ***** s the buying of the clothes. show HART SCHAFFNER & MARX i(i i flEpjjEjfjrt •*". * u 't* and overcoat.; it will be an event in jrnur nxpnv ' r/\~ jjstgjg '*™ l e * ' n *° -neb clothe.; all.wool, perfect atyla and . eC * We * r * -bivt*. glevet; for Eaater Sunday and Saits $2O to $5O This stars is ths home of Hart Schaffner & Marx clothss Copyright Ha«t BcbsSaer a Mara Spring Shoes Ladies’ Skirts & Suits Our line of Spring Oxfords for Men and Young Men are open T f° r your Blacks, We have an exception- j Tans and Ox Bloods. ally strong linq of Ladies’ J^'j' llimß'' One of the snappiest line. Saits and Skirts. Some exer shown by us. fa newest styles in >V Would be glad to have you _ , , w // W . .. .. Suits an the market. We \t IfffSsSfji call and inspect this line. 1 ■ •'A'Mh 1 carry the Pa'mer Gar- jj ■ lliSliiisSyjjSaL Buster Brown : m«tf in Saits. ,1 M Blue Ribbon Shoes and Oxfords Call and We will Glad- ill 11 IUVI foT * he ,ittle ly show you both sails mw J. & K. Shoes for the Ladies » and skirts. E. E. BUTLER ®> SON <S Pages NUMBER 48.