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LIMITED Worse and Worse. A young lawyer just starting' to practice had this sign on his door: Lawyer A. Swindler A neighbor seeing the sign asked why he did not use his full name He replied: "That would be worse. My name is Adam "F H. W. Not Full Anymore Jump. Ole. Jump. "Duluth Woman Jumps to Death in Seattle," says a headline in a Twin City paper Well, now isn't that some jump? Wonder how many times she jumped Five and a Half Storier Not So Bad at That The fact that Easter (Sunday was not as pleasant as was anticipated, was welcomed by a large number of women who had nothing new for the big parade and consequently would have been out of the prize money But look out for the first fine Sun day now! Making Up For Lost Time Upper Cuts. A man may enjoy taking his sweetheart on his knee during court ship, but after marriage he doesn't like the idea of being sat upon. iWrath is usually found in family "jars." The fellow whp said that babies are coupons clipped from the bonds of matrimony has not read that they are sometimes called new waves on life's ocean. Looks to us as if they were only fresh "squalls Little things often worry a man the mosttwins, for instance Do you suppose that language is called the mother tongue because fa ther seldom gets a chance to use if The hen-pecked husband never de velops into* a free-thinker until his wife goes away on a visit. The first "fish" story was told by Jonah. Well, he had to give his wife some kind of an excuse for being away from home three days and nights, didn't he? ^M.M i The Dvine Fisherman. It was midnight on the ocean, Not a stkeet car was in sight. The sun was shining brightly, As it rained all day that night 'Twas a summer's night in winter. The snow was raining fast, As a barefoot boy with shoes on. Stood sitting on the grass Then the organ "pealed potatoes, Lard was rendered by the choir, While the sexton rang the dishrag, Someone set the church on fire. "Holy Smoke," the preacher shouted, As he madly tore his hair. Now his head resembles Heaven For there was no parting there. Contributed by Ima Goof. Right You Are IDLE LANDS IN U. S. INCREASING RAPIDLY (Continued I rom Page 1) factors at work to increase the tim ber shortage. "The exhaustion of American tim ber has not come about because the forests have been used so freely, but because of the failure to use forest growing land. In a nutshell, the problem is that the United States is cutting wood out of its forests three of four times as fast as it is being grown Much of the land on which timber stands or has been cut off will always be forest land. It is ample to grow all the wood needed for the use of the people of this country and) for export trade in lumber and pro ducts manufactured from lumber, if the land can be kept at work grow ing trees Timber for the future ia simply a matter of putting idle land to vork." NEBULA SHOWS SOME SPEED Body Flying Through the Heavens at Rate of Two Thousand Kilome tert a Second. The Lowell observatory in Flagstaff, Ariz., has held a stop watch on the fastest mo\ing object ever discovered The spiral nohula catalogued ns No. 5S4, Drejer's "lunlogue, constellation of Cetus, is flying through the heavens at the rate of 2,000 kilometers a see* ond. An alrplnnr soins at this speed would circumnavigate the eartli at,the -equator in less than half a minfote. The spiral nebulae are the swiftest moving objects in the knoun universe, but no one has ever before been de tected shooting through the heavens at much more than half the speed of 584-Drejer-Cetus. Most stars move slowly and sedately along at nbont 100 kilometers a second. What is per haps rather humiliating to us earth dwellers is the fact that 584-Dreyer- Oetns is moving In the direction away from our own earth and sun. Of course the pee of lipht, vhlch |V Is nearly 800,000 kilometers a second, makes the speed of the spiral nelmlae seem insignificant. Hut liM't Uoes not have to "carry weight," whet CM the nebulae, though perhaps an extremely diffuse and tenuous form of matter, are none the less material objects of quite considerable ponderosity So, until we get later news from the celes tial racetracks, we can state that the spiral nebula In Otns Is the speedi est thing coming down the "celestial iIke."~-Ne York Independent r mmmmm KEEPS EYE ON LATINAMERiCA PRESIDENT READY TOTAKE ANY MEANS TO STOP TROUBLE TO THE SOUTH OF US. WHERE ARE MONITOR NATIONS Seem to Have Fallen Down on the Job of Keeping Watch and Ward Over Their Smaller Brother Coun tries. By EDWARD B. CLARK. WashingtonHeie Is the way the Depaitmeut of State put foith a most pregnant bit of information "The Department of State has re quested the Navy department to *en warships to both the Atlantic and the I'.icific 'ides of the boundatv line be tween the republics of Panama anil (Jostu lttea to piolect American live* and pioperrj in the event it is found that the local authorities are unable to afford the nccessaiy ptotettion." Cuilous ones in Washington are ask ing vvlrit has become of the "monitor nations" of Central and South Amer hu whfeh were to keep watch and ward over their smaller brother eoun tiies, exewis motal suasion fltst, and then force, if nccssarv, in order to Keep them in the. stiulght and nnnow way of peace, tho way which itmde.th unto a nation's salvation* Eveijuotlv know Ft the names of Hie monitor nations, wheie they are, and also imows that they are not up and doing If they had been up and lo fng P.innmn urn' Oostn Itica piobably todav would he in a condition of laiojl^ likt unlet and Unele Sam would not lie flout ishing the big stick that Theodore HfM)se\elt suggested to him ns being .ervitenh'e in cot lain contingencies. Befote Mr Harding came into ofllce as I'jesideut there were politicians in pnMit\ who said that he had a (Itearn of grenler United States which would extend from the Can.idlnn line to Hie smilheriiinost point of the isthmus of rutin tun Men bore say it is prpttv leud to believe that tlie President had .mv seh dientn as tills, and still loss ea^-v to believe that lie e\or will fonirti- I Into a policy so all embracing and fraught, ns manv men here, regardless i of paily say, with peril, but it is known that the President is ready to take instant notice of any trouble to the south of us, and ready to take in stant means to pot a stop to it, Monitor Nation Plan. Washington fs curious to know if Mr Hughes intends to revivo the old monitor nation plan, put life and prcss ute into It, pressure on the greater Latin Ameiican republic* which will move them to stop minor rows on their own behalf and thus relievo the United States or vluties which it does not cnr to excri Ise because of the ill feeling which our interference always gener ates. Some men seem to have forgotten it, but Ellhu Hoot as secretary of state went to Central and South America and pleaded for pence and good will^ and seemingly succeeded in laying tlid foundation thereof. Memory has it nlco that Mr. Knox vvenj to Mexico City Mexico was to be one of tho monitor nations. She has been a flno monitor. The United States has been hns ndmonlshnlg her ever since the day of the friendly visits to her capi tal Mr Colby, as secretary of state, went to South America. The salt tang of the sea voyage is not yet out of his nostrils. Peace, g4jptl will, and ommerce were the motives of his mis sion, and vet here Panama and Costa Rica are at each other's throats. In this day of the attempt to get the world to**settle down after the. biggest war it ever witnessed. It is known to be rather disturbing to the equanimity of the Incoming adminis tration to have two republics, for whoso good conduct this republic has fsunied responsibility in the eyes of the world,^tackling each other in a finger nail match. It Is nothing nicwe than a scratching match, but it has in It tho possibilities of a, real fight. America for Americans. Neither the President nor the sec retary of state wants any of these na tions to the south of us to appeal to the league as It exists. The whole policy of the present order of things is America for the Americans, row? or no rows, and tho America in this case extends from the Great lakes to the Strait of Magellan. Iltere never was an. administration vy MCKJE, THE PRINTER'S DEVIL whiLlTTelieveir^rKat the Oential "and South Ameir.au ountue bear any love to the United* States. There have been evidences lime and again of mod ern day resentment against the Mon roe doctrine, although it was formu lated to piotect peoples who now re sent the protection which it affords. The trouble Is, as men fairly steeped in South American lore have told us, that all ihe Spanish-American coun tries think that they are able to take care of themselves, and their resent ment arises from the fact that any big country thinks it Is necessary to pro mulgate a doctrine of protection for countries that believe they cart look after their own interests. It is certain fiom what has hap pened within the few davs of the Hard ing administration- that we are to have an American policy in Central and South America, and that no appeal to the old world, nor an appeal to the ^eague of Nations will be fttnte fnced by the pieseut order., Looking Ahead. Here Is new Noithcliffe story from "The Minors of Downing Street." The eminent editor had a caller who raised his hat and made a profound bow to the elevator boy^fs the two men, Uorthcliffe and his friend, went up to the editor's rooms. When they came down the friend again raised his hat and bowed low to the boy. Northcllfferemonstrated with him. "You shouldn't joke with these boys," he said. "It makes discipline difficult." "Joke!" exclaimed the caller. "Good heavens, I wasn't joking. How do 1 know that tomorrow that boy will not be the editor of the Daily Mall?" lubscrib* for rp-9 Daily Pioneer. PERFECTION HEATERS For comfortable rooms in the morning use a "Perfection." Guaranteed not to smoire or smell. yihiiiatii ME BEMIDJI DAILY PIONEER "Lost" Lincoln a Nfy*try. Au oil painting of Abraham Lincoln, 25 by 35 inches in size, rescued sev eral years ago from a pile of supposed ly worthless furniture taken from the old Bed Lion inn in Philadelphia, to day forms a mystery over which there fs much discussion by artists. After its rescue the picture was hung in a Philadelphia residence where a paint er, Baruch 3Uf. Feldman, happened upon it and purchased it. He began the xvork^ of reclaiming It, and after the dirt had been removed the portrait stood out, clear and well denned in all its features. Artists who, have seen the picture are agre^*^that the' character of the portrait Is such that the suggestion that it might have been painted from a. photograph Is rendered absurd. Who painted the "lost" Lincoln is a mys tery, and there is no mark or sign to give those studying it a clew that might lead to its identification. Shows Kindergarten's' Value. The importance of the kindergarten OS an Americanizing influence was urged by Maj. Bradley Martin, presi dent of the National Kindergarten as sociation, at the recent regional citi zens' conference in New 1'ork. "Thev kindergarten," said Major Martin, "is obviously the ideal means of Americanizing the family through the child as the child through sing ing patriotic songs and playing games 'vith other children and receiving moral and ethical instruction, not only learns our language, but also adopts our point of view "ttnd becomes a patriotic citizen and through mothers' meetings and home visriS'tJie* family is assisted by the kindergarten* teacher In the difficult task of adapt ing itself to the economic and social conditions that it finds ifi Jthis coun try. By Charle* Sughroe Concerning Farm Machinery LET'S FIGURE if OUT IN DOLLARS AND CENTS O Wnlera Ntjwplpcr Union IF WE CAN HELP YOU SAVE MONEY, WE WANT A CHANCE TO DO IT There was a farmer wh( intended to put off buying a needed implement. There was a merchant who thought the farmer couldn't afford to wait. The farmer was willing to investigate. The merchant was ready to help. So the two got together,"went over the farmer's need of the implement carefully, and figured out the savings that the use of the implement insured. The farmer had considered the .cost as the main item. The investigation showed him that the profit through the use of the implement was the big thing to consider- that even at three times its cost the implement was a good bargain. We want to co-operate with you in the same way. You have the needs we have the goods. Let's figure out the connection in dol- lars and cents. If we can't show you that the use of our goods will bring you real savings, we won't want you to buy. If we can show you real savings, we'll be glad to furnish you with a good invest- ment Come in and see us. For these snappy mornings when your furnace isn't going full blast, get a Perfection Oil Heater. It will take the chill off any room in short or der and you can easily move it from one room to the other. With the "Perfection" you are getting every bit of heat from your.fuel, no wasted fuel in the ash pile. Get all the heat you are paying for. MV mSm MARKETS "iir'i""""* HIDES Cow hides, No. 1 3c-4c Bull hides, No. 1, lb 2c'-3c Kipp hides, No. 1, lb 4c Calf skins, No. 1, lb 5c-6c Deacons, each 40c-50c Horse hides, large. ?1.5Q-?2 POTATOES Chicago, March 29. Potato re ceipts, 31 cars. Market steady. Northern whites, sacked and bulk, $1.05 to $1.10 Minnesota Red River Ohios, sacked, $1.50 to $1.60. imiriiiiiitiiiii*'""""" 11 5 ADDITIONAL WANT ADS i FOR SALEFive thousand feet of poplar, basswood and some white pine lumber. The lumber is at Ek sten mill Three miles east from Crookston Mill No. 2. Write El mer Hanson, Bemidji, Rte. No. 4. 3t3-31 WANTED TO BUYA second hand piano first class condition. Ad dress Piano, care Pioneer. lt3-29 FOR SALEOne Majestic gas range, 4 burners and -oven. Good condi tion Address L. care Pioneer. FOR SALJEFresh cow. tey, Nynlore. "WORK EASERS" ticle you may need. P. Min- 3tw4-14 FOR SALESteam press, at 207 Beltrami avenue. 150. Inquire Phone 5td4-2 Have you the brushes, pails, wringers, mops and the different arti cles that go to make house cleaning easier? If not, you will find a ready assortment at our istore for your inspec tion. See our window' display of work savers. Call 57 and we. will gladly deliver any ar- For easier floor cleaning try one of the. new "Liquid Veneer" floor mopsthe swab comes off for washing. GIVE N HARDWARE CO PHONE 5 7 BEMIDJI, MINN. ?JIL-W&9&S'uMt?s& r_3ui'^iai-- ^*44%tJs.1 If. D. GIRL WINS W STOCK JUDGING CONTEST (By United Press) Fargo, N. March 39 thel Hutchinson, Tuttle, N. D has dem onstrated again woman's capacity for 217 Third St. Phone 34 "^T^xS?*^^ TUESDAY EVENING, MARCH ,29, 1921^ Words and Music,by Ukcfa$8pk, If you could see a prescription being filled, you would see first a small piece of paper put on each plate of the finely adjusted balances so that exact balance is maintained You would see'the drugs offset the tiny metal weights, even to a speck you'd ^consider unimportant. You'd see every step care fully checked and cross-checked. And all because the doctor knows, from thor ough investigation of your case, how little of this or that nature needs to get started right again, Mill NO. 3A AUTOGRAPHIC KODAK JUNIOR Simple in all details, the No. 3A Kodak Ju nior possesses the high grade equipment and handsome appearance characteristic of all the Kodaks. In this camera, however, the simplicity and compactness are the outstanding, features. It makes pictures 3^4x5^ inches and is yet small enough to be slipped- into the topcoat pocket. PRICE$19.00 fcARLE A. BARKER THIRD STREET* Phone 34 for the Correct Time^ ,t^'^^^ farming. Miss Hutchinson, the only girl enrolled in the agricultural course at the agricultural college here won in a stock judging1 in which she was pitted against 60 young farmer students. She scored 637 points out of 750. Warnin to Mothers Mothers should see.that the whole family take a thorough, ptttifying system cleansing Fiz-ik tnis spring. NOW IS THE TIME. The family will ghH3piir. and'get along better if the blood is gwftttmg purifying, the stomach and bowels cleaned out, and the fg^jg** accumulated in the system, driven away. HOLLISTER S ROCKJ MUN- TAIN TEA is one of the very best and surest spring medicmesto take. Get it and see the difference in the whole family. Their color will be bette*, they'll feel fine and be well and happy. Tea or Tablets, 35c. Boardmans pfxng Store. IF YOU'D SEE US FILLINC YOUR DOCTOR'S PRESCRIPTIONS There's hardly a thing more scrupulously exact than the process of filling a prescription exactly as the doctor's orders. Part of the pharmacist's techni cal education is a full appreciation of the im portance in following the doctor's ordersEXACT- LYto the hundredth part of a grain. Barker /-J contest v-r- THE DRUGGIST". S "NF^ i ^^*^mm ^J 'J.