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swcrv PAGE TWO mmm "Supposin' tlie king don't care to have any truck with us?" inquired Mc Guffey, anxiously. "In that case, Mac," replied the commodore with a smile, "we'll Just naturally shell him out of house und home." "Well, then," said McGuffey, "Jet's get the guns ready. Somethln' tells me these people ain't to be trusted, and I'm tellin' you right now, Gib, I won't sleep well tonight unless them two quarter gatlings and the Maxim Vlckers rapid-fire guns is mounted ami ready for business." "All right, Mac," replied Mr. Gib ney, in the tone one uses when humor ing a baby. "Set 'em up if it'll make you feel more cheerful. Still, I don't see why you want to go actin' so fool ish over nothln'." "Well, Gib," replied the engineer, "I may be crazy, but I ain't no fool, and if there's dead whale around the fchip, I can come pretty nenr smellhi' It. I tell you, Gib. that Tabu-Tabu nigger had a look in ills eye for all the world like a cur dog llckin' a bone. 1 ain't takln' no chances. My old man used to .say: 'Bart, whatever jou do, allers have an anchor out to wind- ward.' "By the left hind leg of the Great Sacred Bull," snapped Captain Scruggs "if you ain't enough to precipitate war." "War," replied McGuffey, "is my long suitparticularly war with native niggers. I just naturally cra\e to puj.ch the ear of anything darker than a Portugee. Kemember liow I cleaned out the police department of Panama?" "Mount the guns If you're goln' to, Mac. If not, for the love of the Lord don't be demorullzln' the crew with this talk of war. All I ask Is that you her the guns after I've finished my business here with Tabu-Tabu. He's been on a war vessel, and knows what guns are, and If he saw jou monntln' them It might break up our friendlj relations. Ilf'll think wo don't trust him." "Well, we don't," replied McGuffey, doggedly. "We:1, we do," snapped Captain Scruggs. Th^re is always something connected with the use of that pronoun of kings which cuts like a canker at the heart of men of the McGulTey breed. That otllcer now spat on the deck, in defi ance of the rules of bis .superior olli cer and glared nt Captain Scraggs. "Speak for yourself, y*u miserable little wart," he roared. "If you In clude me on that cannibals' visltln' list, and go to ontradlctin' me agin, I'll "Mac," interrupted Mr. Glbney, an grily, "contiol yourself. It's nglu the ni!e5 'o hne rng-chewir' and bnck-blt ln' on the M'Jggle H. Remember our mor o: 'Ail for one and one for all' "Here conies that sneakln' bushy headed murderer hack to the vessel." Interrupted McGuffey. "I wonder what devilment he's up to now Mr. McGuffey was partly right, for In a few minutes Tahu-Tabu came along side, eMir.bed aboard, and salaamed Mr. Glbney, fearful of McC.uffey's In ability to control his antipathy for the race, beckoned Captain Scraggs and Tabu-Tabu to follow him down into the cabin. Meanwhile, McGulTey contented himself by parading back Ward and forward across the fo castle head with a Mauser title In the hollow of his arm and bis person fair ly bristling with pistols and cutlasses. Whenever one of the ilotilla of canoes hove to nt a respectful distance, showed signs of crossing nn imagi nary deadline drawn by McGulTo he would point his title at them and swear horribly. He scowled at Tahu-Tabu vhen that Individual finally emerged from the conference with Mr. Glbney and Scraggs and went over the side to his waiting canoe. "Well, what's In the wind this time?" Inquired McGuffey. "We're invited to a big feed with the king of Kundnvu," replied Captain Scraggs, as happy as a boj. "Hop into a clean suit of ducks, Mac, and coine along. Gib's goln' to broach a little keg of liquor and we'll make a night of It." "Good lord," groaned McGuffey, "does the man think I'm low enough to eat with niggers?" "Leave him to his own devices," said Mr. Glbney, indulgently. "Mac's just as Irish as if he'd been born in Dublin, instead of his old man. No body yet overcome the prejudice of an Irishman so we'll do the honors ourself, Scraggsy, old skittles, and leave Mac in charge of the ship." "Mind you're both back at a season able hour," warned McGuffey. "If you ain't, I'll suspect mischief andsay! Gib! AVeil, what's the use of talkin' to man with an imagination? Only if_JJuiY.e_.tp. so_nshore after you two, VK\A.-t W!$&Qt!&^i''*'**' McGuffey Contented Himself by Pa rading Backward and Forward Across the Fo' Castle Head. thosoTsiatideTs'll Hate time from my visit, and don't you forget It." Upon arrival at the beach the two adventurers were met by a contingent of frightful-looking savages bearing long spears. As the procession formed around the guests of honor and plunged into the hush, bound for the king's wari, two Island muidens marched behind the two sea-dogs, wav ing huge palm-leaf fans, the better to make the passage a cool and comfort able one. "By the gods of war, Gib. my dear boy," said the delighted Captain Scraggs, "hut this is class, eh, Gib?" "..very time," responded the commo dore. "If that chuckle-headed McGuf fey only had the gense to come along he might be enjoyfn' himself, too. Ydu must be dignified, Scraggsy, old sala mander. Remember that you're big ger an' helter'n any king, because you're nn American citizen. Be digni fied, by all means. These people are sensitive and peculiar, and that's why \r haven't taken any weapons with us. If they thought we doubted their hospitality they'd have the court bouncer heave us out of town before jou could say Jack Robinson." "I'd love to see them giving the bounce to McGuffey," said Captain Scraggs, muslnglj. Mr. Glbney had a swift mental picture of such a proceed ing and chuckled happily. Had he been permitted a glance at McGuffey at that moment he might have observed that worthy sweltering in the heat of the forward bold of the Maggie II, for he was busy getting his guns on deck. From which it will readily be deduced that B. McGuffey, Inquire, was following the advice of ids pa ternal ancestor and getting an anchor out to windward. One might go on at great length and describe the triumphal entry of Com modore Gihuvy and Captain Scraggs into the capltol of Kanduvu of bow the king, an undersized, shriveled old savage, stuck his bushy head out the window of his bungalow when he saw the procession coming of how a min ute later he advanced into the space In the center of his wari, where In the olden dnjs the populace was wont to gather for Its cannibal orgies how he greeted Ills distinguished visitors with the most prodigious rubbing of noses seen in those parts for many a day of the feast that followed of the fowls and pigs that garnished the festive board, not omitting the keg of Three Star thoughtfully provided by Mr. Glbney. Tabu-Tabu acted as interpreter and everything went swimmingly until Tnbu-Tabu, his hospitality doubtless strengthened by frequent libations of the Elixir of Life, begged Mr. Glbney to Invite the remainder of his crew ashore for the feast. Mr. Glbney, him self rather illuminated by this time, thought It might not be a bad idea. "It's a rotten shame, Scraggsy," he said, "to think of that fool McGuffey not heln' here to enjoy himself. I'm goln' to send a note out by one of Tabu-Tabu's boys, askln' him once more to come ashore, or to let the first mate and one or two of the sea men come if Mac still refuses to be civil." "Good Idea, Gib," said Captain Scraggs, his mouth full of roast chick en and jams. So Mr. Glbney tore a leaf out of his pocket memorandum book, scrawled a note toMcGuffej, and handed It to Tnbu-Tabu, who at once dispatched a messenger with it to the Maggie II. "DESERT BLOSSOMS" A REX THEATER TONIGHT "Desert Blossoms," a William Fox photoplay starring William Russell, will be seen at the Rex theater to night i It is announced as a stirring story of adventure and love, present ing the sturdy Fox star in the role of a construction engineer attached to one of the government's big ir rigation enterprises. "SCHOOL DAYS" AT THE REX BEGINNING TOMORROW Freckle-faced Wesley Barry, the inimitable movie celebrity, will grace the screen of the Rex theater for four days beginning Sunday in his latest starring vehicle, "School Days" made from the Gus Edwards classic of the same name. The very mention of the words "School Days" holds an appeal for young and old, and it is said that every mother who has boys, every man who remembers his boyhood, every human being who can thrill to the joys, the disappointments, the pranks and the glory of boyhood will gloat over the trials and tribulations of Speck Brown, better known to the screen world as Wes Barry. Briefly the story centers around a small town boy who loves the old swimmin' hole and his dog. Hippy, better than anything else in the world He meets a wealthy uncle who sends him east to get an education Here he meets many youngsters of weal thy parents, and he finds himself out of the social swim. is beset by Within half an hour the messenger returned. He was wildly excited and poured torrent of native gibberish into the attentive enrs of Tabu-Tabu and the king. He pointed several times to the point of ids jaw, rubbed the small of his back, and once he touched his nose whereupon Mr. Gih ney was aware that the said organ had a slight list to port, and he so in formed Captain Scraggs. Neither of the gentlemen had the slightest trou ble in arriving at the correct solution of the mystery. The royal messenger had been incontinently kicked over board by B. McGulfey, Esquire. Tabu-Tabu's wild eyes glittered and grew wilder and wilder as the mes senger reported the indignity thus heaped upon him. The king scowled at Captain Scraggs, and Mr. Glbney was suddenly aware that goose-flesh was breaking out on the backs of his sturdy legs. He had a haunting sen sation that not only had he crawled into a hole, but he had pulled the en tire aperture in after him. For the first time he began to fear that he had been too precipitate, and with the thought it occurred to the gallant com modore that he would be much safer back on the decks of the Maggie II. Ahvajs crafty and Imaginative, how ever, Mr. Glbney came quickly to the front with an excuse for getting back to the ship. He stepped quickly to ward the little group around the out raged royal ambassador, and inquired the cause of the disturbance. Quiver ing with rage, Tabu-Tabu Informed him of what had occurred. Mr. Gibney's rage, of course, knevv no bounds. Nevertheless, he did not have to simulate his rage, for he was truly furious. When he could control his emotions, he requested Tabu-Tabu to Inform the king that he, Glbney, ac companied by Captain Scruggs, would forthwith repair to the schooner and then and there flay the offending Mc Guffey within an inch of his life. Suit ing the action to the word, Mr. Gibney called to Captain Scraggs to follow him, and started for the beach. As Captain Scraggs arose, a trifle unsteadily, from his seat, a black hand reached around him from the rear and closed over his mouth. Now. Captain Scraggs was well versed in the rough and-tuiubJp tactics of the San Fran cisco waterfront hence, when he felt a long pair of arms crossing over his neck from the rear, he merely stooped and whirled his opponent over his hend. In that instant his mouth was free, and clear ubove the shouting and the tumult rose his frenzied shriek for help. Mr. Glbney whirled with the speed and agility of a panther just in time to dodge a blow from a war club. His fist collided with the jaw of Tabu Tabu, and down went that savage as if pole-ri\e Pandemonium broke loose at once. Captain Scraggs, after his single shriek for help, broke from the circle of sav ages and tied like a frlghteued rabbit for the beach. One of the natives hurled a rock at him. The missile took Scraggs in the back of the hend, and he instantly curled up in a heap. "Scraggsy's dead," thought the hor rified Glbney, and sprang at the king. In that moment It came to Mr. Glbney to sell out dearly, and If he could dis pose of the king, he felt that Scraggs' death would be avenged. In nn Instant the commodore's great arms had closed around the king, and with the helpless monarch in his grizzly bear grip Mr. Gibney backed up against the nearest bungaJovv. A fringe of spears threatened him in front, but for the moment he was safe behind, and the king's body protected him. Whenever one of the savages made a Jab at Mr. Gibney, Mr. Glbney gave the king a boa-constrictor squeeze, and ihe mon arch howled. "I'll squeeze him to death," panted Mr. Gibney to Tabu-Tabu when that individual had managed to pick him self up. "Let me go, or I'll kill your king." The answer was an earthenware pot which crashed down on Mr. Gibney's head from a window In the bungalow behind him. He sagged forward and fell on his face with the gasping king in his arms. (Continued in Next Issr.e) KV*. ,'',fw!_W v.\s^S^jkt?^-*n-*i^*i*'-.^ S-J-iiiW*tal W&^S^3&irJfe.l" n* THE BEMIDJI DAILY PIONEER many trials and tribulations, and finally he goes back home to his faithful dog and his little country sweetheart via the freight train route. There are said to be many other interesting high-lights in the picture, in addition to a cast composed of a number of players who have graced the screen in scores of productions The cast includes, in support of Wes' Barry, Nellie P. Spauldlng, Margaret Seddon, Jerome Patrick, George Les sey, ArJjne Blackburn, J. H. Gilmore, John Galsworthy, Eveline Sherman, Francis X* Conlan and Arnold Lucy. The production was made by Harry Rapf, and directed by William Nigh. "ACROSS TH E DIVIDE" IS A STORY O TH E FAR-WEST Crowding romance, thrills and plenty of blood-stirring action into five reels, "Across the Divide,' with Rosemary Theby and Rex Ballard is on the program for tonight only at the Grand theater. "Red Hot Rivals," a burning new two-part Century comedy completes the program. "TRAVELIN* ON" AT GRAND SUNDAY AND MONDAY Gunplay, the like of which has never been seen before, a most un usual holdup, a vivid thunder-storm, these are but a few of the thrills in William S. Hart's latest and most memorable Paramount picture, "Tra velin' On," to be shown for two days at the Grand theater commencing next Sunday i William S. Hart wrote the story with that end in view. That, too, was probably why he got Lambert Ilil'yer to direct it, and Joe August, A. S. to photograph it, and a^semoled such a popular cast, including Ethel Grey, Brinsley Shaw and Mai Jane living to help interpret it. "Torchy's Ghost," a new comedy with Johnnie Hines completes an ex cellent program. "THREE LIVE GHOSTS," ELKO TONIGHT AND SUNDAY A picture of exceptional merit and entei taming qualities in "Three Live Ghosts' a Pat amount, which wili be the feature attraction at the Eluo Saturday and Sunday. Trie story of the thiee buddies who have been reported missing and who turn up alive after all, is one of tremendous interest There is an exquisite love story and an abundance of humor in "Three Live Ghosts." The produc tion by George Fitzmaurice is high grade, the cast headei by Anna Q. Nilsson and Norman Kerry is artis tic. A RAG DOLL ROMANCE" AT ELKO TODAY AND SUNDAY Funny comedy tramps, a funny box car "Pullman," a clever dog and monkey, a lovable old grandma and two clever youngsters make up the cast of "A Rag Doll Romance," an other of those whimsical Campbell comedies, at which the kiddies laugh so heartily. Dorecn Turner, whose popularity already high, has grown with every one of the Campbell Comedies in which she has played, will be seen in "A Rag Doll Romance," and her lit tle boy playmate is Laurence Licalzi, who made his debut in Campbell Comedies in, "Monkey Shines." "A Rag Doll Romance" will be shown tonight and Sunday with "3 Live Ghosts," at the Elko theater. This Fits Most of Us. Henry Ward Beecher, so the story goes, was once asked by a young preacher how he could make his con gregation keep wide awake and atten tive during his sermons. Beecher re plied that he always had a man watch for sleepers, with instructions, as soon as he saw anyone start nodding or dozing, to hasten to the pulpit and wake up the preacher. Aren't you and I usually less sensible? Would we not be Inclined to have the watcher wake up, not ourselves, but the fel lows caught sleeping? In other words, aren't we disposed always to blame others? When things go wrong in an organization the president usually feels it is necessary for him to shake up his associates. His associates, in turn, usually start kicking up ructions with those under them. And workers, when they are dissatisfied, usually lay the blame, not at their own. door hut at the door of the foreman or the de partment head or the big bosssome body, anybody, except ourselves. How about adding this Beecher squib to what we always carry around with us in pur mind?Forbes Maga zine. Miter many tears. A proposed wing of the Amerlcar Museum of.Natural Sciences in New York, which was commenced nine years ago and abandoned for lack of funds, Is about to be started In earnest, the money having been se cured for the work. At that time the foundations were laid, but when the expenditure for this had been "on smued the work was stopped. The new wing will be used mainly for the housing of the marine exhibit of the institution, which is very extensive, but which has heretofore been boxed up for the lack of space to properly exhibit it. i Speed of Passenger Elevators. The oilice* of public buildings and grounds .says tlytt the elevator in the Washington mOtiunient makes 100 feet a minute. As the elevator shaft In the monument la 300 feet high, it makes this distance In five minutes. The two elevators in the Woolworth building which operate from the ground to the lifty-t'ourth floor rise 700 feet in one minute and these are the highest rise and fastest traveling elevators In the world. Although elevator service Is provided in the Kiffel tower, Pari:, to a height of nearly 1,000 feet, three lifts must be used reach the top, the liighest rise of a blngle lift being about 450 feet He Is Not Yet Crowned. The news that soni'Uliing in the na ture of a tentative otter to the throne of Albania has been made to Jerome Napoleon Bonaparte is a reminder that the Bonapartes have long had a close connection with America. This con nection began with the Bonaparte who va made king of Westphalia by the first Napoleon, of whom he was the youngest brother. This Jerome Bona parte settled in the United States after being exiled from France by his broth er, und remained until his appoint ment as king, in 1807. The present bearer of the name, who has come into nroiuinence, is_ a_ great^andson of the They are Good! Iillllll!lll3!ll!!l!llllillii!^ kmT, and a nepkew oTTfiiirles J. Bona parte, who was attorney general in the caMnet of President Roosevelt. It woold be odd Indeed If a plain citi zen of democratic America should novr become a European king. Sufficient Unto the Day The subject given them being the Future, one schoolboy wrote, "We are told not to be anxious about the fu ture, as the future will come in time." Another joungster cogitated this gem: "We are taught in the Sermon ton the Mount not to think of the fu ture, because the evil we do in one day is' sufficient."Boston Transcript. Buy this Cigarette and Save Money llllllllllllilllllllllllllll!ll!ll!lll!llillllllllllllll!lllillllli!!lllll!!illllilllllllllill!ll GRA ND TONIGHT Shows at 7 30-9:0010c-2Sc "ACROSS THE DIVIDE" A thundering drama of great wide open spaces of the Old West, replete with action, romance thrillswith Rosemary Theby and Rex Ballard Also "RED HOT RIVALS" A new two-part Century Comedy Red Blood and Blue Blazes That's WiLjUIAJk/C SATURDAY EVENING, MAY 6, 1922 WE BUY AND SELL New and Second-Hand FURNITURE STOVES, RANGES, BEDS, tc. Phone 300 McClernon&Soii 317 Minnesota Ave Bicycles and Furniture Repairing Phone 897 10th and Irvine Ave. Jake'sRepairShop [Slavery is a thing ofthePqst-CglHis We will return your washing in excellent condition, just as you would want it done. Try sending your wash- ing out this summer. Family Washings 10c lb80c minimum Bern. Steam Laundry Phone 195 TRY OUR FOOD & SERVICE It may surprise you to know how well you can dine hereat such a rea- sonable cost. Open Day and Night The Palace Cafe FRANK HUBERT, Prop. 112 Third Street W F'^wpsn /^fV