Carrizozo news., October 25, 1918, Image 8

About Carrizozo news. (Carrizozo, N.M.) 1908-192?

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TUB 0AUR1K0B0 NBWH.
FIVE FRIDAYS
By FRANK R. ADAMS
Indeed a
Cheerful
Tale
(Oov;rlht, frank A. ICnnr Oat)
Prologue
5 FRIDAYS 5
F
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5 FRIDAYS 5
Humor heaped up and
running over, Rood, whole
some, (Ida splitting, cars
destroying fun; people who
oro Junt the kind you know,
In amusing sltunllona Into
which any ono might have
tumbled, and a rapidity
of action that keepii the
render's Interest perpet
ually on tho Jump tho
kind of etory which when
dramatized make a two
year run on the stage.
"W
CHAPTflH I.
Fait Athore.
rK cut ton nitirli," stated Lu
clle dcllnltcly whllo wo were
having ton on tliu front
porch.
"Wo certainly do," t assented Idly.
"Why not give our dlgcstlvo appa
ratus a rest?" tdio iroiottndcd,
"Why not?" I rushed to my doom, 1
wan IiiivIiik my two weeks' vacation
mid wag too happy nt being able to
spend It on tlio Island to euro any
thing nliout uti argument.
"I suggest tlmt wo fast for a week,"
A suggestion llko tbnt mt mo In a
nice fix. I don't mind Hinting that at
that time I wiih nliout 210 pounds ot
cllRllile bachelor, ugod thirty-live, com
fortably In lore with Luclle, bat too
old and net In tho complacent selfish
ncss of slnglo blcBscducss ever to pre
tend to bo a Itomco. Tho Idea of fast
tng gavo tno a sinking sensation right
whoro there was the most room to
sink.
"WhntT" I cjtculntcd, forgetting for
tho moment that I had a reputation for
ready repartee.
"I said, 'Why not fast for n wockJ
I read an article, by Llptou 8. Clair
about It Just this morning, llo claims
that fnnilng thoroiiKhly rebuilds tho
system, gets rid of all toxins and In
creases tho mcntnl elllcleney 00 per
cent."
8ho picked up a magazine which was
propiicd open faro downwnrd on tho
lower shelf of tho porch table,
"Listen to this," sbo continued. " 'Eat
Ins three tncnls n day Is simply a hab
it. We haro miido tyrants of our stom
ucbs. They demand to bo fed every
fow hours, and If wo answer that de
mand wo aro slaves.' There, that
sounds llko the reasoning of a thinker,
doesn't Itl"
"It sounds mora llko the reasoning of
a thinker than of nn eater."
Luclle reproved my flippancy. "I think
It would do us all good."
"But I feel all light now." I called
bar attention to nn obvious fact.
Hlio dismissed my objection. "You
can't bo healthy unless you fast for a
week at least once a year. Lip ton S.
(Jlulr says bo. Mother, you'll try It,
won't your
"Try what?"
"Fasting for a week."
"Why, yes, If you wont to." Her
mother picked up a book as If she had
decided nothing more momentous than
a question as to whether sho preferred
cream or lemon In her tea, Klie had
been used ns an experiment station for
no ninny years that nothing surprised
hor.
I got up casually ami tried to slip In
door, but I.ucllo stopped mo. "lon't
you think It will bo lovely, Montmo
rency?" 1 collapsed Into a rbalr, which col
lapsed Immediately after 1 dtd. Sho
had called me by my llrnt name! Yus;
Montmorency Is my first name. It
omuls llko several names, but It Is
only my first. That nm name thing
mnrto It tory hard to refuse. As I sat
Ihoru on the poreh surrounded by logs,
Mllig and oil i or parts of n eliulr a ter
rific Ktrliuitlc went mi In my being be
tween my heart and my stomach, and
tho weaker party won. Possibly my
mind was stunned by tuy fall, although
1 hate itt recollection of hitting my
hiwd. 1 folt that I.ucllo was putting
til to tho teat. From the look In her
Wii 1 knew that sho was asking mo to
efcocwo between lovo and beefsteak.
6ft rising phoenix like I answered
briivoly. "Yes; 1 think fasting would
tie delightful."
So that was how wo begnn.
As you can easily see, the cause ot
tho trouble was that Luclle Is ouo of
tlioie persons who tnko the magazlno
health and hygienic writers In good
flllth. It Is Impossible to convince her
(lilt those fellows have to make u Uv
liig by their pens tho sanio ns other
lijfinaii Authors and that every blzarro
ideii iliny ran pounce on mentis Just
So mnoli moro copy at n regular rate
per Wtjrd, No, I.ucllo must needs try
by oriliMKit every now theory, using
herself or any convenient relative or
friend ns a laboratory.
The absurdity of Lucllo's attempt to
Improve upon her health and looks Is
npparent to any ono who has ever been
blessed with a sight of her. You can't
tvako n slim young bo'ly llko hers by
simply rolling on tho floor for an hour
every day, nor aro soft brown eyes
with long, curly lashes tho result of
chewing nny particular number of
limes upon n plcco of stca'-, Nnturo
must have been experimenting a good
many centuries i of oro sho got Just
that particular texture for hair nnd
that peculiar shade of cream velvet for
complexions.
it this particular tlmo for nearly
twetity-flvo years she and nature had
been uninterrupted by matrimony In
their Job of decorating, so that It Is not
to bo wondered nt that they hnd turned
out u well nigh perfect product. There
Is nothing unfinished nbout hci
Onu of her early spasms was I'lctch-
prism; then sho struck tho nuts nnd
berries Idea. I wus n guest nt her homo
tho Rummer lIio tried both of theso
things out. If you are goli'g to I'letcht
erlze, n piece of old hoot tastes Just as
good as a steak, nnd It Is moro econom
ical. Tho adherents of tho nuts and
lierrk-B diet claim that It Is a good food
schcdulo becauso grizzly bears live on
It. As far as I am concerned, being
like n grizzly henr Is a doubtful advan
tage nnd, besides, I don't bcllcvo It Is
possible for u bear to shell enough pea
nuts t" lire on.
Luclle called n meeting to discuss
ways and menus.
"First of all," sho said, "when the
supply boat comes today we'll make
them tnko hack every cdlblo thing they
have brought, together with what wo
have on hand, so that wo won't bo
tempted. Isn't It lucky our cottage Is
on an Island all by Itself so that It
The Chair Collapsed Immediately After
I Did.
won't be possllile for ouo ot us to cheat
hy going to a hotel somewhere,"
"Don't you think It would ho a great
er victory for us If wo conriuered tho
demon food with some supplies within
easy reach?" 1 suggested, with n pain
ful recollection of the supply boat
which came oi.ly twice n week, but car
ried delicacies of which Lucullua never
dreamed,
"No, It's bent to take no chances."
"There's tho motor boat anyway. Wo
could run over to tho malnlund."
"No, we couldn't" Luclle smiled.
"Father Is tho only one who can run
It, mid he won't be here until Sunday."
Thus another ray ot sunlight flicker
ed out A man nt my build docs not
crank up a murliio cngluo located near
tho floor ot a boat. I might say ho
could not, but It Is truer tu say that
ho does not If ho Is tho least bit wlso
he docs not even try It
"I'll glvo the maid u week off," Lu-
cllo continued gayly. "As wu'ro not go
ing to cat anything wo bliall not really
need her, and tdic has been wanting to
go homo for some tlmo, I'll let her
go back with tho supply boat We'll
begin our fasting tomorrow by going
without breakfast."
She consulted the magazlno again.
"Wo havo to dritk plenty of good, puro
water and think high thoughts all tho
tlmo, and wo'll hardly notlco the nb
Hence of fowl at oil. Then next Mon
day wo'll break our fast by drinking
the Julco of an orange and rating a
handful of popcorn, Just ono handful
so ss not to shock our dlgestlvo ap
paratus by Introducing anything solid
Into It
Uut why barrow tho reader with tho
rules, and regulations which Luctlo
framed for us. Rufflco It to say that
they went Into effect tho next morning
according to schcdulo.
Wo mu nt breakfast I am novcr at
my best boforo I drink my first cup of
coffco In tho morning and tho thought
of tho Inhuman way 1 was about to
treat ray "tummlo " depressed mo more
than usual. Tho table was ghastly
white, unbroken by the uiual cheerful
army ot steaming hot dishes. At carl)
placo was a largo glass of water and n
napkin. What the napkin was for I
foiled to discover. 1 Imagine It was
what tho anthropologists would call "a
survival of culture"
Wo havo fifty-eight flvo gallon bot
tles of distilled water," Luclle In
formed us. "I wonder If that will bo
enough. It amounts to nearly a bun-
dred gallons apiece."
I mado n hasty calculation and de
cided that a hundred gallons of drink
ing water would last mo tho rest of
my life.
Mrs. urccn, Luctlo s mother, was pa
tiently cheerful and drank three glasses
of water llko a sponge. 1 didn't enro
much for mine. I had previously had no
Idea that water was so Hat nnd taste
less. It Is also an extraordinarily clus-
lvo and clammy thing to put Into an
empty stomach which Is eagerly ex
pecting bacon and cgrn, muffins and
coffee.
"I feel better already," Luclto said
gayly as wo left tho table. "My mind
Is clear I have wasted none of my
vital energy In merely digesting food."
I knew that sbo was quoting Llpton
S. Clair, whom I was beginning to re
gard with disfavor, to say tho least
but I refrained from voicing my onln
Ion of a man who will help women to
get oven moro fool Ideas than they can
think up by themselves.
I took a cigar from my pocket cat
tho tip off carefully with n silver cut
ter Luclle had given mo tho previous
Christmas and was about to 'Ight It
when sho stopped me.
"No, no, no; you mustn't Did I for
get to tell you that while wo aro fast
Ing wo have to give up all stimulants
and narcotics, such as alcohol and to
bacco?"
"What cut out smoking for a week?"
"Certainly," she replied firmly. "In
tho first place, If you don't you will bo
deathly 111; In tho second place, tho
wholo object of tho fast Is to rid the
body ot all toxic poisons, such ns nlco
tine, alcohol and so forth. Hy tho tlmo
you havo dono without tobacco for
yck I should not ho surprised if you
iiuVcr smoked again."
"Nor mo cither," I reflected gloomly
out loud. "I'll bo dead."
"Of course If you don't care to make
tho experiment," Lurilo said Icily, "I'll
put off tho fasting for unothcr week
until Frank llopp Ls hero. I'm suro ho
will bo willing to try it"
TMs was wuvlng a red flag at mo,
Frank llopp was my rival. After hor
reference to him I would havo gone
without breathing for a week If sho
had suggested It, llopp Is a thin, con
versatloual Insect who can perch on
tho aim of a girl's chg'r and chirp by
tho hour. Hometlmes I regret that for
architectural and educational reasons
I can't do that, and then I remember
what other men would think ot mo If
I could, aad I tm solaced. I refrain
from saying what I think ot tho natno
"Hopp."
Thus through my love and Jealousy I
was led Into deeper water or, slmll I
say, moro water becauso somebody
hr tided tue a glass of the stuff every
few minutes. I drank It In the vain
hopo that I could drown tho Inner
man, who seemed to ho yelling for
help nil tho time nnd kicking mo Just
below tho belt bueklo when be didn't
got It.
That morning wo went for n walk.
"Walking Is tho best excrclso In tho
world," Luclle stated. "It is excellent
for reducing surplus flesh around tho
abdominal region,"
Invariably she bad a little stinger for
mo concealed In nny remark she might
make, I havo slnco learned that this
is a sign that n woman takes a propria
tary Intcrrst In a man.
Ileforu we went sho ted Tootles, her
long hnlred pup. Tootles Is ouo of those
dogs so constructed hy uaturo tha
when you want to look them In the face
ytm don't know where to look. I often
wonder If Tootles herself isn't in doubt
as to which end to wag.
"Isn't Tootles going to fast, too?'
protested. "Can't sho stnnd It ns well
ns I can?"
"Possibly she could do It" Luclle
said as sbo gave her a dog bUcult,
"but she hasn't intelligence enough to
understand why sho should go without
food."
"I'm not far above Tootles in Intelli
gence, then," I remarked, but under ray
breath this time, so sbo could not hear.
After watching Tootles cat wo went
walking. Whenever I go walking in
tho city I hire a toxical). If I want to
see nature In all her grandeur do I gn
tramping through tho woods? I do
not I buy a Beat at a moving picture
show where they aro running a west
ern outlaw film. "Nature for a nickel"
ls my motto. Fatigue Is eliminated,
nd tho sum total of knowledgo is ad
vanced several thousand feet
After wo bad covered several miles,
as It seemed to me, i suggested mat
wo bad better not go much farther
away from home.
"Why not?" Lucllo queried.
"Wo might not got back In time lor
lunch."
"I brought our lunch," sho said and
produced a flask of water.
cro nn CONTINUED.)
SAYS SHARK MEAT IS GOOD
Writer Declares Flesh Looks and
Tastes Much tike That of Young
Pig, but Is Not as Juicy.
A good many people do not know
how shark's meat tastes when It Is
rooked. There Is soma talk of n gov
ernment Investigation of this matter,
observes tho Hartford Coiirnnt, so tho
everybody may get the taste as second
hntid. Tho writer of this paragraph,
owing to tho fnct tbnt ho wan a good
dent of n seashore man nt the time,
has tasted cooked shark for himself.
The flesh of tho shark, when n South
ern cook presides over the kitchen,
looks very much llko tho meat of n
young pig, nnd tastes very much llko
that meat. Tho main (HITercuco in that
tho llesh ot tho Infant hog Is n trltla
moro Juicy.
When ono reflects that part of tho
shark fnmlly was created with n relish
for human llesh, or has been brou.'.H
to this liking by somo millions c
years of evolution, It seems add thut
man, when ha gets tho chance, should
also llko to cat tho shark. It goes to
show that In tho general schcuip of ex
Istcnco nothing Is wasted.
Tho shark can get it good dinner out
ot n man. and thn, man can get n good
dinner out of a shark. It all depends
on which ono gets tho other first In
cither ciiso It Is fair eating for tho ono
who gets tho dinner.
Speeding Up Lumber Business.
From log to lumber Is n rnpld trans
formation after tho log Is fished from
the pond, hauled up the log slip nnd
thrown on tho skid, off which It rolls
on to tho carriage, where It Is turn
ed Into correct position hy tho
"steam nigger," fnstened on tho car
riage, nnd cut Into sliapo nnd form for
use by tho big saws, of which there
nro thrco kinds, band, circular and
gang, n process which requires but n
few minute. Half an hour Inter tho
lumber Is In tho dry kiln, or, If timbers
hnvc been cut, they are waiting on the
timber docks, ready for loading on
freight cars.
Reports received at the offices of the
Southern I'lne nssoclatlon show that
n majority of mills aro now handling
tho government's wnr business on n
six-day schedule. This Is, within n
week from the time u government or
der Is received, tho trees hnvo been
cut from tho forest, hauled tn tho mill,
manufactured, klln-drlcd If neces
sary, placed on freight enrs nnd de
livered to points of destination.
How a Woman Oot a Pumpkin.
Shn Is n dainty little madam, relates
the Indianapolis News, nnd docs not
look ns If sho could lift more than
ten or fifteen pounds, When sho ac
companied her husband to tho country
recently and suw n Held dotted with
pumpkins sho said;
"Let's stop hero nnd buy n pumpkin
for pies."
Pumpkins seemed to bo n drug with
tho farmer, nnd bo told tho llttlo
madam :
"If you climb that fence," pointing
to the field, "you can havo the biggest
pumpkin you can carry."
"I'll accept tbnt nlTer," sho replied
with alacrity, with visions ot Thanks
giving pics galore.
Ten minutes Inter she returned with
a pumpkin that weighed !tfl pounds nnd
put it down triumphantly In front ot
tho farmer.
Why Dread Old Age?
It doem t matter how old you are. It
you keep well and active. Lot ot folk
are youngor at 70 than other are at 00,
Lame, bent backs; (tiff, achy, rheu.
matio joint) bad eyealght and iirafneat
are too often due to nnjeclcd kiilncy
trouble and not to advancing year.
Don't let weak kidney age you. Um
Doan't Kidney r(lU. , .Tlicy have
tnide life moro comfortable for thou
sands of elderly folk.
A Colorado Case
Mr. Daele Drum
ley, lit Twelfth St.,
Clreeley, Colo., aayat
"I had a steady, ml
arable ache tn my
back and dragged
alone day after day
feeling too tired and
discouraged to do my
housework. I had
pell . ot dlailnea
and felt weak and
confused for hours.
My kldneya were
weak and cauied me
a Kreat deal ot dWi
tritae. Atv hanila Anil
feet swelled nnd my whole body be
came bloated. Doan's Kidney Pill
were recommended and I trlett tnem
and soon tho (welling had all gone
and I folt a well as over."
Cl Don' t Any Store, 60e Ho
DOAN'S'TA
FOSTCR-MILDURN CO, HUFFALO, N. Y.
Mm
For Constipation
Carter's Little
Liver Pills
will set you right
over night.
Purely Vegetable
Small Pill, Small Doie, Small Prlco
Carter's Iron Pills
Will restore color to the faces of
those who lack Iron In tho blood,
as most pale-faced pcoplo do.
Tobacco, Natural Leaf fKWiKSK,
I lb.. (Oct 1 lb., ttlOt 10 lti., f.tO, JHiMpala. HUM
ibklnil wntd-iulld oratrongi ebowln or iniok.
U, TUB lUNUOU'U TOUACCO (X)., IUUUCAU, U.Y.
DATCUTQ ovation K.'OoUman,
SW ).o. Adflei!o4bootM.
lUUa leuotubltt. Ill bill reUitnoe. UMtMmeM.
Ready to Celebrate,
I hnd it brother In training In Camp
Tnylor for several months. Whllo
there, when n bunch of rookies came
tn, ono was assigned to his barracks,
with u number ot Instructions, ono of
which was Hint ho had to bo up for
revelllo at 6:80, Ills watch was .10
minutes tnst, so the next morning at
ho woke all tho boys yelling, "Hurry,
fcllors, It's tlmo for Jubilee." Exchange.
Catarrhal Deafness Cannot Dc Cured
by local niipllcutlon n they cannot reach
the dlseaiad portion of the ear. There Is
only one way to euro Catarrhal Denfne,
and that I by n constitutional remedy,
HALl8 CATAimil MI3DICINI3 net
through the Wood on the Mucous Hurfaces
of the Hystcm. Catarrhal Dcatnei I
cauaed by an Inflamed condition of the
mucous lining of tho Kuitachlan Tube.
When this tube la Inflamed you have a
rumbling ound or Imperfect hearing, and
when ft I entirely clnaed, llcafnea Is the
result. Unices the Inflammation can be re
duced and thi tube reatored to It nor
mal condition, hearing may be deatroyed
forever. Many cae of rjeafnea are
cauaed by Catarrh, which I nn Inflamed
condition of the Mucous Surfaces.
ONW HUNDRED DOM.A118 tor any
caa of Catarrhal Denfneai that ennnot
be cured by HALL'S CATAHUII
UEniClNfJ.
All DrugRlata "c. Circulars freo.
F, J. Cheney & Co., Toledo, Ohio.
After Deep Thought.
A young man had been put on sen
try duty for the first tlmo and wns sta
tioned near tho hnrrncks. It was not
long beforo tin officer eniiio along. The
young mini suddenly forgot the chal
lenge, "Who goes thcro?" nnd after a
moment of deep thought, thinking ho
hnd remembered, called out loudly:
"Look what's hero I"
Johnny on tho Spot" Farmer.
A western farmer dropped In upon
ttiu liberty loan committee In his town,
tnwnrd tho close of the subscription pe
riod, placed a milk can on tho table,
removed tho cover nnd emptied tho
contents. That milk can coutnlned
the savings of wnrs, In copper, silver
and gold coins and bunk notes. When
counted, the rush wns found to amount
to n goodly sum. "I never put my
money In bank." wild the farmer, "but
I've been thlnkln' It over, an' I guess I
can trust Undo Ham." No doubt h
wus typical of n much larger element of
tho population than Is actually known.
Christian Science Monitor.
fie happy, ties lied Crna Hag Bine
much better than liquid blue. Delighte
the lauQureas. All grocer. Adv.
He Knew Differently.
"A man runndt servo two masters"
"Tho dickens ho can't I" Interrupted
Gap Johnson of Ilumptis Itldge, Ark.,
who Is blessed with a helpmate and
14 children, "I'm serving fifteen of
'em, and doing u mighty fair Job of
it." I'eoplo's Homo Journal.
Undor tho now high rates sleeping
car business on most of tho railroads
hna decreased 23 per cont.
Tho superstitious man would ns soon
hnvo bin niituu curved on u tombstone
us ou u flvo-ccnt clgur.
Vrtiiw Granulated Eyelids.
M Ulir1 inflamed by eipo
lure to Sun. Dull and WM
t7rA0 quickly relieved by Hnrule
jC V Cj3 CyeHemed. No Smarting,
ssW Juit Eye Comfort. At
Your Druggliti or by mill 60c per Bottle.
For Dtik el tat Eye free write a-a
Murino Eye Remedy CoH Chicago,
1