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THE demim; graphic DKMiNG. NEW MEXICO. Sympathy soothes nchli g hearts, but It la of sma'l use In warming cold feet. It Isn't aUnys the shortest month that is the easiest on the coal pile. When a woman stops calling a man by his name, the end of formality Is at band. Will plain Mr. Hohsoii hp such an attractive kissing proposition us the gailaut captain? "What constitutes a New Yorker?" asks the World. Well, conceit Is one of tho ingredients. More power to the elbow of Miss noser?, lhte of Wellesley though she doesn't seem to need it. A Siamese working elephant may he bought for but it costs more for feed than an automobile docs. News from the Palkan stales Indi cates thr.t Miss Stone's ransom itioiiOT has been fairly well invested. Chicago Is now bragging because Its birth rate has not decreased. It Is a case of, how much? not, how good? 1'ndtte attention to the mote In our neighbor's eye gives him an op portunity for effective repartee. Turk. The Chicago doctor who tried to argue against a hailful of women might have known where he would Mind up. With The Hague tribunal so bandy It would seem as though the Hutch labor unions might arbitrate their Kilevauccs. liadium Is selling at I'.tuft.ono n pound in the European market, and most of the inhabitants hato shut off their radiators. The Menu can pretender has gath ered Ills forces und gone to pretend ing again, lie may he Gen. Tribe I'rite in disguise. The lir.-t wi'vYss newspaper has been printed on board a sh'p at sea. : liven a dali for the i I may now ! .ave B'Mi d terrors. I Wl.at a mammoth federation T women p.i ;:iela will hate if the .laughters of the revolts' Inn In that country i er orgauic! Tho Crown Prince of Saxony is not to be consulted as to the successor of the errant Louise. All wivu; must look alike to a crown prince. The story that Mr. Morgan Is rolns to buy up all the Cuban raliroad sys tem Is not at all Improbable. He ha the necessary money and the buying habif. The task of traveling nt a $10.000 pace on a $:!.0t salary lins again wrought Its customary ruin und dis grace. Its frequent repetition wax's tedious. Some of the specialists believe Knapp. the Indiana man who mur dered bis six wives, Is a degenerate. They don't explain why they hold this extraordinary opinion. Secretary Shaw has decided that ten thousand dollar gold certificates may be Issued to Individuals on de mand as well as to banks. Demand yours early, as the supply Is lim ited. Calcium salts, It Is announced, will mrc nervous diseases. The calcium light has been applied to many emi nent personages without causing a re duction either of nerve or of swelled head. That Mississippi Judge who ehir?-'. the grand Jury to Indict persons ík fused of playing progressive euchre probably baa been forced to attend a progressive euchre party at some time In hia career. A Frenchman, who contended that the soul could b-ave the body and return, succeeded In proving part of It. He let his soul out all right, but the undertaker attended to the rest, and he hasn't reported. Probably If the wild birds had any 'hlng to say about It they would In sist that the privilege of remaining nlive seems quite as Important to them as It does to the gentleman In the bird-dealing business. At the Cincinnati fire a man on a burning roof was saved by writing a note on his cuff and throwing It Into the street. That should be a warn ing to people' with undetachahle cuffs not to bleep higher than tin second tloor. ORIGIN OF "MEAL MONDAY." Tima When Students of Edinburgh University Lee 8trenuous Life. Students In the Scottish universities enjoyed their "Meal Monday" Feb. 9, but few of the undergraduates remem bered how tho holiday was Instituted. In the far-off days, when learning was really nourished on "a little oatmeal." the students, before leaving home for the universities, provided themselves with a quantity of meal, sufficient to make "halt-some parrltch" halt through the session. liy the end of January their "meal klsts" had run low and "a day off" was given In which the student was expected to Journey halfway home, meeting at this point his parent or brother, who brought with him a second lead of the simple diet. The holiday was fixed on a Mon day, so as to allow the undergraduate the benefit of the proccdlng Saturday. In times past the Journeys would often extend to fifty or sixty miles. The mordern student gobs home for "Meal Monday." but he travels with A i. .i.v .. !;ct ,1 !ia no taougiit of the painful Journeys of his ances tors. COULD HER SUFFRAGE SUFFER? Amusing Mistake Made by Australian Woman Voter. Female suffrage sometimes leads to amusing mistakes. A candidate at a recent election In Australia, where the women have votes, tells a story In this connection. The constituency was a seaport town, and one of the burning Issues before the electors was the question of berthage rates. A woman voter came to him and asked whether he was In favor of Imposing these berthage rates, because If he was she would take good care that neither her husband nor herself would vote for him. A little discussion of the matter revealed the fact that the woman was ur.der the Impression that the question of berthage rates related to a poll tax on baldes. That can didato now doubts whether tho aver age female voter Is not under a de lusion, or. perhaps, say, under a spell. -New York Tribune. Was Too Highly Honored. Senator Cullotn was in an elevator the other day when someone shook bunds with him rather effusively, say ing: 'How do you do. Senator Fair banks? 1 am very g!;pl to see you." Mr. Cullotn did i.ot correct tho effu sive person's error. The latter got out at the next floor and the Senator con tinued for ntiithei- flight. As ho stepped out of the elevator a second stranger grasped I, Is lund and said: "Why, Senator 1'roctor. I am glad to see you. How are things progressing In Vermont?" Stranger No. 2 entered the ca;e and Shelby walked away In a slightly dazed condition. In telling a friend of the mistaken greetings ha said: "One would have been a good many, but to be taken for Fairbanks and 1'roetor inside of five minutes was tvailv too much." Danger In a Flower. At h meeting of the Gardeners' So ciety of llerll'i, held recently, a sol emn warning was read by a member against the primula obconica, a paie lilac variety of the popular winter Power. It seems that this particular variety, which Is very prolific In bloom, has tiny hairs underneath the leaves and when these hairs come In contact with the human skin they cause inflammation. A member (,aj that his daugi.ter had suffered for three years from this Inflammation, which also affected her hair so much that she became bald. The only alia vlulion known for the inflammation Is a decoction of creotln. The Best Time to Buy. A man who has a speaking acquaint ance with John I). Rockefeller met him the other day as he left the Standard Oil building to enter his car riage. He stopped the financier with s drect question: "When do you think would be a good time fur mo to buy St. Paul, Mr. Rockefeller?" As he stepped Into the carriage Mr. Roeko feller replied, "net ween 10 and 3." And these are market hours every A Novelist's Old Age. "I am 74," says George Meredith, the novelist, "but I do not feel to be grow ing old either In heart or mind. I still look on life with a young man's eye. I have always hoped I should not grow old as some do with a pal Bled intellect, living backward, regard ing other people as anachronisms bo cause they themselves have lived on Into other limes and left their sym pathies behind tbera with their years." France Cares Nothing for Royalty. A Hrussels correspondent, writes that he only interesting point about the recent visit of the Duke and Duchess of Orleans at Brussels Is the proof It affords of the low ebb to which the fortunes of the royalist party have fallen. The episodes were of a kind to make one philosophize, when one remembers that less than fn years ago the royalist party wis r.'III a nr.otl,.l furo In Frsnch Uolltlri. SHOWED TRUE SCOTCH THRIFT. Wise Man Would Have Monument Serve Two Purposes. Among Andrew Carnegie's collec tion of anecdotes Illustrative of Scotch character one of the oddest follows: Sir John Cave was In Glasgow In 1S07, at a time when the populace had It In mind to honor Nelson with a monu ment Sir John attended a public dinner one evening when the monu ment came In for a good deal of dis cussion.. Finally the visitor was asked for his views as to the Inscription. "I think." said Sir John, "that the style of the Inscription should be emi nently simple and plain. What I should put on the monument would bo Just tho words, 'Glasgow to Nelson.' "I agree with the gentleman," said an aged Scot, arising. 'Hut I would make an addition. We all know that from the town of Glasgow to that of Nelson is six miles, and therefore I would affix to the monument, nfter tho words, 'Glasgow to Nelson,' tho ad dendum, 'six miles.' and then our .),.niu;nem would ere two yesrpose.' NAPOLEON AT THE HEAD. Conceded to Have Been the Most Fa mous Man That Ever Lived. Napoleon Is the most famous man who has ever lived, says Prof. J. Mc Keen Cattell of Columbia university, in the Popular Science Monthly. Prof. Cattell has taken the six prin cipal encyclopedias In the world American, English, French and Ger man, and made out a list of the l.ouo famous men and women who are given the most space. As a result of his long labors, be has found that Napoleon heads the list, Shakespeare comes second, Ma homet third and Voltaire fourth. George Washington, tho first American In tho list, is number nine teen. The other Americans on 'tho roll of fame are mentioned In the fol lowing order: Penn, Lincoln, Franklin, Jefferson, Grant. Imgfellotv, Prescott. Chan nlng. Sherman, Emerson, Madison, J. y. Adams, Cooper. Thomas Paine, Patrick Henry, Fulton, Sumner and Monroe. Too Patriotic. Patrick hnd worked hard nil his days, but his sons had spent his money for hiin, and when he was too old for active work he was offered the position of crossing tender nt a small railway station. He looked dubious as the duties of the office were explained to hint, and tlx- mean ing of the various flags was clearly staled, "in case of danger, witii a traiti coming, of course joii wave the red flag," said Ills friend, proceeding with his explanation. A hard obi hand grasped hi. arm: "Man. dear, It'll never do." said Patrick, shaking his head solemnly. " could never trust niesilf iii reiuimber to wave a red ling whin there was u green wan handy." Leeds to Have Racing Stable. William H. I ds, president of the Rock Island railroad and formerly known as the "tin plate king." has purchased a half Intercut In the rac ing stable of Andrew Miller, u mem ber of the New York Jockey club. During the running season Mr. Leeds will race In his own name and colors. To comply with the rules of the club, which prohibit two members of a firm from racing horses from tho same stalde, each member of the new firm will preserve lila Individuality and race different strings. Mr. Leeds made a big fortune In tin and steel. When a multimillionaire he drifted Into the railroad business and sikiii became bead of the Rock Island system. Miss Rogers' Progression. Who Is Miss Rogers? Well, up till now she has been a school teacher; hut hereafter she must appear on tho roll of honor as the woman who whipped the slx-root captain of a high school football team with one hand while she was puling another youth Into condition for the repair shop with the other. Miss Rogers has Jumped from a small paragraph among the "school Items" to a srar :-ti !UUIl .in the .-riiM,. .o. The Progress of Cremation. Cremation, within the past few years has made much progress In Eu rope, and still greater progress In the United States. San Francisco at the present time leads the world In the number of Its citizens who are yearly cremated. Despite, however, that more persons are, year by year, sub jected to this process, there still ex ists much projudlco against crema tion among tho population at large. Little Mineral In Paraguay. Consul J. N. Rufftn reports from Asuncion: "There exists no copper, gold or silver mines n Paraguay. Soma copper Is found, but It hai never been worked. I "nave never heard of the existence of silver In the country. Gold, I understand, exists In the district called Mlsslones, near San Miguel, but It has never been worked, ond no statistics tin bo obtained." Splendor of (he Russian Court Magnificence That Surrounds the Czar and Czarina Is Ux equaled on Earth St. Petersburg in the Season Given Over to Pleasure. "Tho Russian court has been en fete for New Year's day, and those whoso experiences are limited to the comparatively Himple court festivities In England have no Idea of the splen dor of St. Petersburg In the season," WTltes a St. Petersburg correspondent of an English paper. "At the court halls In Russia 1.000 people are seated at once nt small tables In tho same room as the Czar and C.arlna, and ss splendid Is the service (one gorgeously arrayed royal servant to every two guests) that twenty minutes, or half an hour at most, sees every one served. No for eign guest or lady-ln-waltlng ever Vwr W vVn-? T,,,unut Hllm, !,),,. I;! souvenir i , ,,ni tne Empress, When foreign royalties arrive every lady-ln-waiting always has at least two ser vants, In gorgeous liveries, assigned to the principal door of her Hulte of rooms, and a box at any theater or opera for spare nights. Russia. I nm told, is the only place where one need never feel cold. The arrangements are so perfect. "The palaces, of count", are heated to a nicety, and ladles wear light, even summer, garments Indoors. When ever they may come or go servants In the hnll are ready to help them In or out of superb Russian furs. So, completely do these protect them from the cold that It is Invariably the cus Could Not Deliver (he Goods Unreasonable Filipino Woman Spoils Her Husband's Chances oi Making Money Appzals to American Aw thoritics for Protection. A native woman made her appear ance jt the office of the adjutant-general in Hollo and told a strange story of marital troubles. A few days ai her husband. In spite of the fad Hint they had been nierrled "within the church," had sold hve to a Chino and hud r ived the money for her. She refused to accede to the bargain and her husband Ire fully mistreated her and threatened to take her life. After a few days more the wicked man again saw where he could replen ish his supply of "daeils" and sold her this time to a Spaniard. Not with stundlng this seeming promotion she Malll took objections to the bargain and refused to leave her happy home. Awilu the husband maltreated her. called her names, and declared he would have her heart's blood. Fearing that she might be "Hold nualn" she went heinro the Justice of tho peace ami asked him to take nonie n.'llon In the way of protecting ln-r f i om her cruel spouse. Hut the Jus tice, thinking It was only one of the many similar complaints that come to Kitchen of (he Immense Force and UptO'Date Machinery Needed to Pre pare Food for the Hundreds of Guests in the City 's Cara vans a ríes. The kitchen arrangements of the "modern hotel" are on the first base ment floor. There Is a chef, hut so far hh I could see he does not cook. He Is simply a captain of the seventy five other cooks who work In three redaya of twenty-five each. There is no range, but a solid hank of broilers Immense gridirons, beneath which are tho fires thnt never die. As for the four hundred loaves of bred and eight thousand rolls required dnlly, the chef does not worry his mind over the pat ent cutters and mixers und ovens and s'aff of bakers needed to supply tho ::'"'I'' i ' '''!: or . uiu-ei u him-f.-.-.f ;'!, r.'iu quality of the eleven hun dred pounds of butter that are each day required to go with It. Neither does he trouble himself with the pns try, where marvelous things are con structed of candles and creams and fruits works of art, some of them en titled to "honorable mention" in an ncademy of design. The patrons of the modern hotels are fond of des serts, and the dally Item of two hun dred and fifty large pies convinces mo that a fair percentage of them are no- Thought He Was Again In Durance. i apt. Cosgrove, who was recently retired from the Are department, tells this story of "Grand Central Pete," one of the noted criminals of New Yoik. Having been released from prison, friends of "Pete." who had spent a portion of his life In such In Htltutk.ns, welcomed him at the rail way station and proceeded to celo brate the occasion. "Pete," not hav ing had ny liquor during his term, wu soon affected by what he drauk, tom (especially In court circles) to g( out sleighing on the Neva after tin opera Is over (or tho theater) either alone, w ith one's ami cherl. or In large parties. The effect on the Neva at midnight Is enchanting. Absolute still ness and cold which latter, however, Is not felt; and the brilliant northern stars sclntllatli.g in the dark heavens make a sort of fulry paradise. "Ono of the most splendid s'ghts possible, I am t.dd. Is the assembly of the court und suites In tho great malachite saloon on the occasion of any grent court ball or function. Tho whole of this room Is Inlaid with mala chite, and the supporting pollars are of solid malachite. Whi " I'. , press enters she appears to he one blne of light, as the Russian crown Jewels are the finest in the world and most lavishly worn, covering the gown more or less all over. "Till one goes to a Russlun court hall ono never reall.es what Jewels there are In the world, and all other courts pnlo before It. The Czar's pri vate purse Is practically limitless, his Hrsonal wealth fabulous. Small won der perhnps that the DucheHS of Edin burgh found Clarence houso but a Miinll nnd Insignificant abode after all j this splendor, and never could appre ciate the want of show and grandeur In her late Majesty's simple home life." him so often, fold the woman that It would he belter not to take the ( aso to law and to let the matter go. trust ing Hint it would come out all right without creating a scandal. This did not satisfy the woman, says the Hollo Times, who then went to tho military headquarters to Implore aid in prosecuting the willful husband. It happened that as she was telling her story (!. T. Trent, the supervisor of provincial lisiáis, was pn sent and on hein lug her whole tale of woe through, he addressed o note to Mr. Munt inula, the provincial fiscal, asking him to In vestigate the (ase uinl If there was anything In the complaint to prosei ut the common -tally Inclined husband In the courts. lie nlso dlreiied the woman to ap pear before Mr. Montlnoki In person nnd present her gilivanics. but she said she was afraid to go up that way. as her husband would probably sen her and abuse her. A policeman was then called, who escorted her to the pillee and now Cere must either bo a reconciliation or Just another broken luart. Modern Hotel live born, nnd so exceedingly fund of (he national dish. 1 must not forget the Item of eggs. Eighteen thousand are required eery twenty-four hours. Roiled eggs do not get overdone; they are boiled by clock work. A perforated dipper contain ing the eggs drops down Into boiling water. The dipper's ( lock-work Is set to the second, and when that final sec ond has expired the little dipper Jumps up out of the water and the eggs are ready for delivery. There are men who do nothing else but (111 and watch and empty these dancing i- . it seemed to me !&, V. On anotner part ot this ioor is in dishwashing, where great galvanized baskets lower the pieces Into various solutions of potash and clean rinsing water all so burning hot that tho dishes dry Instantly without wiping. Sixty-five thousand pieces of china ware are cleansed in a day. and an almost equal quant Ity of silver. All told there are three hundred employes In the kitchen departments of this huge living machine. Albert Illgelow Paine In the World's Work. and, after a time, his companions had to take him to a hotel and put him to bed. In the course of the night 'Pete'' became restless and tumbled out of bed. and rolling around on the floor finally got tinder the bed. When he awoke It was broad daylight. Glancing up. he saw tho slats of the bed, and to his sleepy eyes they reminded him of something familiar. "Hello, I'm back agahi!" he ex. claimed. "Gee, this Is sudden! "--New York Times. t