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The San Juan times. (Farmington, N.M.) 1891-1900, December 20, 1895, Image 6

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Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn86063590/1895-12-20/ed-1/seq-6/

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An Dmmh YounK Man Who Mulct
Kvtrvlmlv i:o the Dlkl f MarllKirnush
goad follow, lit' baa made a vory pleasant
taprvsslou in Ni w Vnrk. Tin nan and
wotnrn of weintty tiki- him. the Willie lys
tml r.i his '-.iniicnls and Ills maimers. the
jtlrl - i.v be la "n ilarlluc" ami the report
er. Who are perhaps the severest crltles, ami
rhose ver.llct Is entirely illslulerested. say
that he is a very sgreeabla, unassuming
joiini; gentleman. He puts mi no airs, bin
for a ! nf ':!. who lias seen Kotl'mle of
the urlil and Is placed In a must trying pn
altlOn, he has maintained a quiet, well-bred
dignity that furnishes a very favorahle eon
trust in M ine nf the nobility who have come
over here to reinforce their titles with "iir
aalllloua. iii appearance is not impressive,
and he is nol very good looking, and lie
hasn't the bone and brawn of the traditional
Ilrlton. i tn I lie i.intrary. he is rather tinder
nine, bul baa a fresh, healthy complexion,
frank and affable manners, and talks in a
pleasant, unassuming, boyish way about his
experiences and impressions that Is quite
charming. The duke takes a sensible view
of his aires! In Central Park the Other day.
when he violated the regulations about blcjr-
rle riding. He was jguoranl of the rules.
and waa quite unconacloua of wrong-doing,
and admits that the policeman was only per
forming his duty.
His grace purchased four large white mules
during his recent visit to Kentucky, and In
tends to drive them four in band to a dray
when he returns to Blenheim- 1 was an
idea of his own. and be thinks "It will be a
gnu! pi."
Deafnesa Can Nol lie Cured
By local applications, as they cannnt
reach the diseased portion f the car.
There is only one way to cure deafness,
and that Is by constitutional remedies.
Deafness is caused by an Inflamed con
dition of the mu. 'mis lining of the Eus
tachian Tube. When the tube Is in
flamed ynu have a rumldlnK sound or
Imperfect hearing, and when it Is en
tirely closed Deafness is the result, and
unle ss the inflammation can be taken
out and this tune restored to its normal
condition, hearing will be destroyed for
ever; nine cases out of ten are caused
by Catarrh, which is nothing but an in
flamed condition of the mucous sur
faces. We will give One Hundred Dollars for
any case of Deafness (caused by Ca
tarrh) that cann it bo cured by Hall's
Catarrh Cure. Send for circulars, free.
P. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, O.
Sold by druggists; 76c,
Hall s Family Pills, 25c.
What this country needs Is maple sugar
that will pass a thorough civil service ex
amination at all seasons of the year.
FITS -All Fltsstonpcdfrceby Dr.Kllne'sGreitt
Kerve Itestorter. NoPiuafteri he tu x ilny 'a ums,
MBrvelouatures. Treat lueaml -trial botlle frei 1 1
lit vault, bend tolir.Kliui;3lArchbt.,Pulla.,l'a.
It Is supposed thai Americana' go-ahead
qualities are due to the fact that they so
much push while they are babies.
We have several excellent newspapers for
sale at reasonable prices. Western News
paper I'nion, Denver, Colorado.
Brings comfort and Improvement and
tends to personal enjoyment wlicn
rightly used. The many, who live bet
tor than others and enjoy life more, with
less expenditure, by more promptly
adapting the world's best products to
the needs of physical being, will attest
the value to health of the pure liquid
laxative principles embraced in tho
remedy, Syrup of Tigs.
Its excellence is due to its presenting
in the form most acceptable and pleas
ant to the taste, the refreshing and truly
beneficial properties of a perfect lax
ative; effectually cleansing the system,
dispelling colds, headaches and fevers
and permanently curing constipation.
It has given satisfaction to millions and
met with the approval of the medical
profession, because it acts on the Kid
neys, Liver and Bowels without weak
cuing them and it is perfectly free from
every objectionable substance.
Byrup of Figs is for sale by all drug
gists in ,r)iic ana SI bottles, but it is man
ufactured by the California Fig Syrup
Co. only, whose name is printed on every
package, also the name, Syrup of Figs,
and being well informed, you will not
accept any substitute if offered.
tuc Best
in tho
h nil
Tim FISH BRAND BLICRKR Is warranted water-
proof, ami will keep you ilry In thotiardeititorra. Thi
new POMMEL BLICKEH It a perfect riding coat am!
covers thecnlirosaiMa-. bcw.iroof linitullaus. Don't
My a coat u the "rim itremr H not on it. Illastia
Vttl Ca' il-ii ii'- Ir ' A. ,1. TiiVi:n, I'.imien. Muss.
f -m ill. ; .1
n r-i p- '
i'V Primary
I n WrGlMlnhil I omlarvorTer.
'i I i
iiiarj ni.onii I'olMt.N nermaiientlt
loured In IStOSS ilays. Von can bo treated 115
fno-niHordiune pi loe under same run run
ty If you prof or to come hero wewllloon.
trac I toiiayrallroailf.ui'iindlioiolbilln.iim
mcharpo.if wo fall to cure, li yi u have taken mcr
nijr, ioiiiiie potash, and mil have aches and
mu; ., M noons Patches In mouth, SoreThroat,
l'hi pics, Copper Colored Hpots, I'lcers on
mny part ol the body, Ualrot Eyebrows falling
ooi It Is tlila Secondary MI.DOI) POISON
e guarantee to cure. Well licit the most obstl'
ji . i i mill ti. lti-ii--- too World for a
asjswi cannot cure. That disease bna always
banietl tllA Skill of the most nineiit pli vsi-
ciaos. (."(), ono capital behind our nneotutt
Uonai (msraniy. Absolute proofs sent Mated on
anllcatlon. Addren :J(K IIK.MKDV CO
atii atasonli Tomple, iuiU m:o, ill.
Cut out aud send tula advertisement.
0 see my friends
mourn for me after
1 am dead would
be the most charm
ing emotion I could
Mr. Itaspb err;
used often to say
this to his valet, anil
the valet always
"La. sir, you
cotihln't do it, sir, you know;
because after folks is expired
why, they air removed from this here
wale of tears, sir. I think begging
pardon, sir that it would be an un-
"No, no, Perkins." said Mr. Raspber
ry; "no, no, you don't understand these
finer feelings."
To which the valet always replied:
"No, sir probably not, sir."
This was before Mr. Raspberry's wed
ding, and for a year after this cere
mony Perkins had heard nothing of the
formerly often expressed wish.
Put one winter morning, as Mr. Rasp
berry read the account of a dreadful
railroad accident, he said again, as
'.hough he had never left off:
"How delightful it would be to see
ine's friends mourn for one!"
This time Perkins answered:
"But missus would take on so."
"The very thing," said Mr. R. "Per
kins, can you keep a secret?"
"Inwaluate," said Perkins, who war,
prone to the use of words but vaguely
understood "inwaluate."
"Then, Perkins," said Mr. Raspberry,
"I am going to meet with a railway ac
cident." "Gracious!" said Perkins.
"It's all arranged," said Mr. Rasp
berry. "Dear me, sir, I hope not, sir," said
"I'm to be put at the head of the list
of killed," said Raspberry. "A reporter
I know has promised to do it. On an
average there's an accident once a
week the next one I'm to be in."
"Beg pardon, sir, won't it be susin
cide?" asked Perkins.
"I don't moan to be killed," said
Raspberry; "only reported so."
"La!" said Perkins, "but poor young
"The very thing." said Raspberry; "I
am much older than she is twenty
years." He was forty-five. "And I
should like to see how she would mourn
for me after I am gone, if it should be
my fate to go first. I shall bid her adieu
as though going upon a journey, and
then hide myself in these rooms of
mine. When the accident occurs and
she sees the paper, I'll take care to be
at hand. My nephew, Julius, will
GEANCE. grieve, too. I've been indulgent to
him, and she will break her little
"Yes, sir; but, sir, won't she be an
gry when she finds out it's a hoax?"
asked Perkins.
"She shall never find it out," said
Raspberry, "never. I'll tell her it was
a false report. That I was on the train,
but escaped."
"Yes. sir," said Perkins, doubtfully,
and brushed his master's hair in a
thoughtful manner.
Remonstrance was In his eye, but Mr.
Raspberry cared nothing for that. He
had determined on his course of con
duct. That very day he went through a lit
tle drama of his own concoction, re
ceived a letter, declared that urgent
business required his presence in an
other city, packed a yallse, wrapped
himself in a shawl, bid adieu to his
wife and jumped into a cab at the door.
At midnight he was secretly assisted
to re-enter the house by a hack window,
and repaired to his dressing room se
cretly provisioned as for a siege, with
potted meats, biscuit, canned fruits,
nnd other delicacies, by the active
There he remained for at least a
week before Perkins, glancing over th-"1
morning paper, saw a list of the killed
and wounded in great, black letters
on the f font page, with Mr. Royal Rasp
berry's name at the head thereof.
Then Perkins' heart quailed.
"It's too bad for missus," he said.
"If she is sorry it may half kill her, If
isn't she'll pay for it. I'll tell her,
j 1
if IPt 1 j '
and if I go for it, 1 hope I'll find a mas
ter with more hair to fix and less anx
ious to have it done various and becom
ing." Then Perkins took the paper and
walked into his lady's sitting room.
"Please'm," he said, "I've got some
thing to tell you don't be alarmed It's
about master."
"Oh. Perkins!" cried the lady. "Oh,
Perkins! you've got the newspaper.'
What is it? Oh! oh! oh!"
"It ain't nothin' of that natur,," said
Perkins. "Master is alive and well,
and upstairs, eating potted shad and
"When did he come?" asked the wife,
"and what do you mean by shutting the
"Perkins." cried Mr. Raspberry's
nephew, Julius, "if you have anything
to tell, out with it; don't stand there
alarming us. My dear uncle is not ill?"
"He will be if he eats much more
shad," said Perkins. "lint he's well at
present, but he's too morantic. He's at
temptin' to harrer up your feelings. In
p'int of fact, in order to see you mourn
for him, he's hiding upstairs, while he's
reported squashed in this ere railroad
accident. It's a dreadful one He paid a
reporter to put him In, mum, the first
that happened."
"Don't show me the dreadful thing,"
said Mrs. Raspberry. "Oh, how could
Royal be so very heartless how could
he? No matter, I'll punish him, and
I'll not betray you either. Tell Mr.
Raspberry I have the news, and let him
spy upon me when he pleases."
"Yes, ma'am," said Perkins.
"She's got it, sir," said Perkins, ten
minutes after. "It was carried in."
"Ah, ha!" said Raspberry. "Now I
shall see what grief my demise will
cause. Julius is there?"
"Yes, sir," said Perkins.
And Raspberry, in slippered feet, re
paired to a peep-hole prepared before
hand in a doorpanel. All was silence.
"She is lying in a swoon upon the
floor," thought Raspberry, with a
qualm of conscience.
Hnt in a moment he saw the lady
smiling and beating time to an air she
hummed with the folded newspaper.
"She has not read it yet," thought
Raspberry. "How delightful! I shall see
the whole."
He applied his eye more closely to the
aperture. Just then the lady spoke.
"If all we read is true, we tire rid of
"Yes, the old stupid!" said Mr. Julius.
"I suppose he's left you everything?"
"1 hope so," said the lady. "I shall go
into deep mourning and a cap the
style becomes me and I shall bo a
dashing young widow as soon as I dare.
I hate being mewed up here. I shall
travel to the watering places and enjoy
"Good heaven!" moaned Mr. Rasp
berry. "What do I hear?"
"And I will accompany you," said
"Certainly," said tho lady. "And you
need not call me aunt any more."
"Never again," said Julius; "but by
a dearer name soon."
"Oh, go away! Don't. It's improper
so soon," said the lady.
"I shall die," said Mr. Raspberry.
"Oh, I shall die in earnest."
But rage and curiosity rooted him to
the spot.
Julius had sunk on his knees before
Mrs. Raspberry, and taken her hand.
"You will be mine?" he said.
"Oh. yes, Julius," said Mrs. R.; "but
for form's sake we ought to attend to
Mr. R.'s remains."
"Bother!" said Julius. "Since they've
smashed the old fellow let them sweep
him away and finish it. What do we
want of him?"
Then horrible words broke the spell
cast upon Mr. Raspberry; he dashed the
door open, and darted forward.
"You'll find me more difficult to
sween away than you imagine," be
cried. "Perjured woman, false am
wicked Julius, behold me and dread
my vengeance!"
Then Mr. Raspberry shook both his
fists and lifted them heavenward, at
which Mrs. Raspberry laughed more
"You can laugh you," he cried.
"Yes I," said Mrs. Raspberry; "and
when next yon get up a little farce, re
member that other people may be able
to do likewise. For one rehearsal Julius
and I have done very well. Now, sir, beg
my pardon for trying to alarm me. You
ought to be ashamed of yourself."
"Then you you knew!" gasped Mr.
Raspberry. "Oh, Adelaide, tell me you
"I certainly knew," said Mrs. R.,
"and prepared a little surprise for you.
If instead you had seen me drop dead
upon the floor you would have been
happy, cruel man!"
"Thank heaven!" said Mr. Raspber
ry, sinking into a chair. "You almost
killed me. Adelaide how could you?
And Julius ah. I suffered too much.
Sweep me away! As a joke it was bad
enough, but in earnest "
Then Mrs. Raspberry condescended
to offer her lips to Mr. Raspberry, and
Mr. Raspberry consented to receive the
proffered forgiveness, though he still
looked doubtfully at Julius, and domes
tic felicity was restored by the arrival
of a hot dinner, which, after the cold
refreshments of the past week, wa3
highly acceptable to Mr. Raspberry.
"But, Perkins," said Mr. R., as his
valet performed his next toilet. "But,
Perkins, I will never try to play a trick
upon a woman again. I'm not sharp
enough for them. If I had really been
killed she would have grieved, eh, Per
"Undoubtedly, sir," said Perkins;
"and Mr. Julius too, sir."
But for all that. Nephew Julius was
sent out to Paris as correspondent for
an importing house, very shortly, and
found, on his uncle's death that his
name was not remembered in the will.
He had acted too naturally, and Mr.
Raspberry never forgave him.
Confetti (Silver, Gold unit Colored dues)
Most of us who have had anything to
do with weddings have had experiences
of the direful effects of the showers of
rice which mark the departure of the
bride and groom, says the London
Queen. There are few young couples
who have not entered upon their hon
eymoon with actual physical pain,
thanks to the stone grains which have
stung their eyes and ears and have
found their way into their clothes and
down their necks. Worse disasters
even than this have followed the use of
rice as a sign of the good-will of their
friends, and serious accidents have not
infrequently occurred in consequence of
the reckless showering of these grains.
The horses have been scared, and this,
in some cases, has led to the overthrow
ing of the carriage and the severe in
jury of its occupants. Attempts have
occasionally been made to mend this
state of affairs, but until lately noth
ing has taken the place of rice. Rose
petals and email flowers have been
tried, but they have many disadvant
ages, notably that of becoming crushed
to pulp and leaving unsightly stains on
the carpets of the house. Shreds of col
ored paper have occasionally been used,
hut in these there is something too sug
gestive of the schoolboy's "hare and
hounds" to excite much interest. At a
recent fashionable double wedding at
the west end considerable admiration
was caused among the guests by the dis
tribution of confetti as a substitute for
the offending rice. They were such as
are used at Eastbourne and the Riviera
for the battle of flowers and on similar
occasions. For the benefit of such read
ers as are unacquainted with confetti
I may describe them as tiny paper wa
fers, principally gold and silver, with a
few colored ones intermixed by way of
adding to the effect. Tho progress of
each bride down the staircase to the
carriage on this particular occasion
was made in a shower of gold and sil
versurely as good an omen for her
future prosperity as could possibly be
afforded by the prosaic grains of rice.
The effect of the myriads of sparkling
confetti was absolutely charming and
fairylike as they fluttered to the ground
the sun catching them as they fell. Cer
tainly they clung about the dresses of
the newly married couples, but the
did no harm, and were soon shaken off
In the house, as they fell on the flora
decorations and sparkled among thfc
roses and ferns, they produced a restth
that is well worthy of note by those
whose business it is to provide novel
ties for functions of tins sort. As for the
horses, they were sublimely uncon
scious of the tiny gold and silver
pieces with which their backs had bee
sprinkled by the time they started.
Wlien Indian Summer Comes.
If any hot days come alonR this
month or next loosc-tailung people call
them "Indian summer." The lndiar
summer is the "summer of all Saints'
(November 1), and follows the setting
in of cold autumn weather, hard frost,
and the blight of flowers and foliage
its loveliness consists in the reminis
cer"8, not the revival of the ardor a
summer; it is a pause while the grasp
of coming winter is stayed for a little
space, given to wistful regret and pen
sive retrospection amidst the dying
beauties of nature. Boston Transcript.
Of modern American pipes the most
interesting are the calumet or pipe of
peace, the tomahawk or war pipe and
the elaborately-carved stone pipe of the
North Pacific.
Since the establishment of the large
parks in Rochester only six trees in
them have been struck by lightning.
They were a hickory, black walnut,
maple, elm and two oaks.
Briar-root pipes are cut out of Nig
wood of the tree heath which grows in
southern France and Italy, and the
pipes are manufactured at Nuremberg
and at St. Cloud in the east of France.
Toads and frogs have sometimes
been taught to stay in a house to catch
fires and insects. They will take a cor
ner of the kitchen for their own and
come out at regular times for their
In China otters are taught to catch
fish for their owners, beiug led to the
water for the purpose attached to a
long cord. In Bengal also an Iudlan
species Is trained to assist in fohing
by driving the fish into nets.
Probably the largest number of men
ever employed in the building of il sin
gle ship are now at work upon the Brit
ish battle ship Magnificent in tho Chat
ham dock yard. There are 2.0CO u
chanics on the pay-roll.
To My Joy
food's Sarsaparilla overcame the effects
of the grip, cured rae of dyspepsia, and
nervous prostra
tion. I treated
with three differ
ent doctors with
out realizing re
lief. 1 resorted
to Hood's Sarsa
parilla and short
ly my appetite
was improved
and nay rest was
not so much brok
en at night, get
ting up in the
morning greatly
refreshed. After
titkiug three bot
tles uf 11 o od's
Sarsaparilla was
entirely cured and today feel as well as
ever in my life." R. B. 8ANG8TKR, Ken
sett, Arkansas. Get Hood's because
Hood's Sarsaparilla
Is the Only True Blood Purifier promi
nently in the public eye. $1 : six for $5.
Prepared only by C. I. flood & Co.,
Apothecaries, Lowell, Slass., U. S. A.
Hnnrl'e Piflc euro nil liver Ills, hlllous
liuuu O r Ilia nesg. headache, SSc,
World's Fair I HIQHUST AWARD. 3
f Prescribed by Physicians
Relied on in Hospitals?
? Depended on by Nurses;
. s
Endorsed byT HE-PRESS:
The BEST prepared FOOD;
C John Cnrle & Suns. New Vnrk.
2 D?Uobb's
Gure aSI Kidney
At all drtitfprists, or by
mail prepaid, for 50c. a box.
Send for pamphlet.
Hobb's Medicine Co.,
Chicago, Sao Francisco.
and 'uretl 1y the Alnnritloii Treatment
the moftt HiiccraitTiil and humane
Treatment ever clevlaeil.
The following disease, often Paid t be incurntilp,
can now ,t- cured "r greatly benefited without the
knife or rl;k: utsract-', V I n. , I'aralyhK (Mmii'inna,
Amaurosis, Atmpiiy, Detftched Retina, Weeping Kyes,
Tumors, lnfluniatton, Ulceration ami (iranulated Kye
lldi We prove thin by the liun lreds who have In en
flU'cessfully treated at their home and at our anl
tarlutn If it in aire alone tiiat imp .ir- our viaion.
thou ami- if' hei-Mii ur prematurely a. el, and the
use ! not equal to the ab ee of reporting to rtronger
iriHies to a ti cia'lv relieve oveittxed or dineauMi
eye-. It only leadti to ttllndneea Our pamphlet
is free), and given the eauae f impaired vlnlon aud
diseased eye. How prevented and how
tW ThU Ofler will not he made again.
Addre i
MiVCPfll Rwlsforlocatlm
gout ortOlvarora, "t
r-. Fur particulars
Rout lilafftotii i. mm.
or lii.itliMi i r
in i). i owuta, B
1 l ee ( Atiilogue, Geo K. 1' tiiier
liux 3146, Uocheutor, N. Y.
tab tog ami fundi Hlevdlbg or Protru Una i'ii U-Mi mm t
DR. BO-bAiv-KO'S PILE! RSMLOY. Btow iu h
lu(,abaorbaHUiHor. a poiuveeurt! ' ireumr tvtit Irte, i'rico
(Us. Urual'U or uiall. !. ItOvXNkO, "Milt Pa-
W ANTED ny b.ly wishing to miike soma
mniii.1' ooi. l.-lv nuil i li.," vieti. v rmnlnV.
! menthoutd work for io tolling medicated wufent.
' ..!, A. v lUM. M . !.. 319 i ;.:;uUd aVti..
1 ston.
Clranfci anil bcsutlflM the hilr.
Never Falls to Hcstore Gray!
1 i 'i ; n In v ti r i ik ti I i
jtiAir in its xouuum uoiur.
Curvs iralp elMSMt & liair tnlliii.
gOhsadtUMsj Dnagjgi
Best Cough Syrnp. Tastcn GkxxL
lljl Intllim. BOKj nv (imi.'t'i:
a in timo. oia py aruganig.
AV. N. V. Denver. Vol. XII. Ko GJJ8-45
When writing to advertisers, please say thai
you saw tlte uihei'tlaemuul In tills paper.
a, Gure aSI Kidney JL

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