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THE KANSAS CITY JOURNAL, FRIDAY, APRIL 30,1897.
THE "KANSAS CITY JOURNAL ESTABLISHED ISM. The' Journal Company, Pulltiher. Journal Duliainc, Tenth nnd Walnut. NEW SUBSCRIPTION BATES. Single copies fc Sunday i.O DELIVERED BY CARRIER. Daily and Sunday. 10 cents per week. 45 cents per month. BT MAIL IK ADVANCE. nalK' nnd Sunday. 1 year 4 00 2 00 Dally and Sunday. 6 months., 100 TELEPHONE NUMBERS. Business Office ' 1KS7 Editorial and Society " City Editor Eastern Office '" ...II and 3" Tribune Building. New York Chicago Office 12 Masonic Temple J. E. Van Dorcn. Special Agency. Entered at the Postofflce at Kansas City, " Mo., as Second Class Mail Matter. THE WEATHER. Washington. April 29.-For Oklahoma. In dian Territory and Kansas: Fair: warmer; variable windy, becoming southerly. For Missouri: Fair, except showers in eastern portion; warmer; north winds, be coming east. A DEPARTED GLOUY. Sentimentality has received a rude shock in the action of the Greeks at Larissa. There can hardly be a doubt that all of us have been Influenced by the story of ancient Greece to the extent of endowing tho pres ent nation with a. courage nnd fortitude and formldableness which it does not pos sess. We have looked to see rejuvenated In Constantlne's army those doughty old warriors whose achievements filled the pages of our classic histories. In a vague sort of way we have expected the rehabili tation of the Homeric heroes, and we might . i.a 4Vint nmp- even conless 10 a vaKuc uur " how and somewhere the magic of the gods and goddesses might make its resurrection felt. "We have drawn pictures of Miltiades In our mind and fondly anticipated that Constantine would find a second Marathon up among the Balkan hills; we have re produced in imagination the splendor of the Alexandrian conquest, and the very least that we were willing to accept from the Greeks in Thessaly was that they die as did Epamlnondas at Mantlnea or Leonldas at Thermopylae. Did we find heroes at Larissa? Did the gods appear to be doing business anywhere in the vicinity? Is there a shade of a Homeric gladiator hovering anywhere about those defiles and passes from which the soldiers of Constantine fled like so many scared rabbits? No, Indeed! Cow ardly would appear to be the only word to apply to an army which broke into utter rout without firing a gun or tasting even the edge of the enemy's steel. The retreat of Constantine can be described only by that American word, "skedaddle," and It is difficult to repress a feeling of vengeful ness as we find our fond hopes and heroic anticipations clattering down the hillside with him. There is still another outrage upon his torical recollections to bo found in the action of the Athenians when the news of Larissa came to their hearing. In olden limes the Greeks bore their reverses with fortitude and courage. When beaten back by a barbarian host they again and again pressed forward with a hope which was dauntless. But here in Athens we find them weeping and moaning and wringing their hands in the hopelessness of despair. Otrers have formed themselves into mobs and added troubles to a government which is already on the verge of destruction. Still others have assailed the government Itself and are seeking to change Its form, right at a time when the Ottoman victor is likely to make it extremely questionable whether there will be anything left to Eovern. These are not the Greeks of story and song, and our disenchantment must be as complete as it certainly is sorrowful. FLAX FOR A SEW LEVEE SYSTEM. In tho May number of The State's Duty, n magazine published in St. Louis, Mr. Guy M. Walker has an interesting ar ticle on "A New Levee System." It is a timely and Instructive presentation of the urgent problem of confining the waters of the Mississippi river. Mr. Walker takes a very practical and logical view of the situation. He asserts that the present floods have driven 150,000 people from their homes and have de stroyed $100,000,000 worth of property: that while tho land overflowed commands only from $3 to $3 per acre, because of its lia bility to such annual visitations, its as sessed valuation, even on such a low mar ket basis, is jmono.000. This same land, properly protected, would bring from $23 to $t0 per acre. It is, therefore, apparent that the Increase in the value of the protected land would alone amount to many times the cost of any system of river protection yet presented. Mr. AValker suggests making the levees several feet higher than the highest water mark ever known, building them wider and stronger than ever before, and supply ing driveways along their crests. It is es timated that such levees could be con structed at an outlay of from $30,000,000 to $10,000,000, or less .than one-half the cost of this year's destruction. A further sura of fl4.000.000 might be advantageously expend ed In a system of overflow basins into which the current might be turned when the water reached a certain height in tho ;hanncl. It Is proposed that the work of levee construction, or the building of other means of protection, shall be carried on under tho direction of tho federal government, but at the expense of the owners of the prop erty enhanced in value by such protec tion. It would be manifestly unjust to as sess the cost of such Improvements upon the people at large, and yet the interstate character and the enormous magnitude of the undertaking would require 'federal supervision and responsibility, through a levee commission. The writer suggests that the payments of the assessments should cover a period of fifty years, with I per cent interest on balances, making a new appraisement of the lands every five years,. Tho method of raisin? the money for tho original expenditure is set forth as follows: "Let the levee commission Issue bonds In fifty equal series, one series to be paid each year for, fifty .consecutive ycars. and. each tcrics to be paid out of the annual assess uany ana aunuuj. - "- - Daily and Sunday. 1 month Sunday only. 1 year ""':':'"1L' n Weekly Journal and Agriculturist, 1 yr. w . m rt j . - winning .. ment collected for that year, the bonds themselves to be liens upon the land Im proved to the extent of ,the assessment for the improvement. Then let the levee com mission collect all assessments and inter est, and out of such collections pay the bonds and Interest coupons as they become due. "In view of the large sums which the federal government has in times past been called upon to appropriate for the relief of those living in this district, from which it would thus be relieved in the future, and the amount that would be saved to it from the maintenance of the present sys tem, and in order to secure for the bonds a ready sale at a low rate of interest, the government well might guarantee the pay ment of these bonds,- principal and inter est." THE PEACE SPIRIT IX EUROPE. The theory that small countries are bene-; fited by becoming part of, or passing un der control of, largerones is being hotly contested in several different parts of the world just at this time. A large party in Norway is advocating the secession of that country from the Scandinavian union. Crete and Cuba are staking the lives and fortunes of their-people upon the proposi tion that their best interests do not demand affiliation with a larger country. Before the present war is over contingencies may arise which will set Bulgaria, Servia and Roumauia to fighting against their en forced alliance with the Ottoman empire. Even in our own country the swallowing up of the little by the big is under seri ous discussion in the matter of the Greater New York bill which merges half a dozen cities into one. In Norway the party of secession is led by Bjornstjerne Ujornson, who bases his demand for disunion upon the score of civilization. He says he realizes that it will be' a difficult task to convince the wolf that the Iamb has a right to live, but he sets about it in a manner calculated to rivet attention. "The three small king doms of Northern Europe," says he In a recent article in a Copenhagen periodical, "are much more republican than tho French republic, and their Inhabitants, con sequently much more free. Literature, art, science, research, invention all flourish to a much greater extent in small countries than in large empires. Egypt, Assyria, Greece and Palestine were small and weak when they gave to the world their most valuable Intellectual gifts. Holland, the Italian republics and Switzerland prove that a nation need not number 40,000,0u0 souls to produce great men." The great Norwegian then frankly ad mits that the huge empires perform a valuable service to the smaller ones by preserving them from annihilation at the hands of some power out for territory and conquest, but he proposes to do away with even this obligation by making war prac tically an impossibility. Europe is being enervated beyond estimation, he declares, by the necessity of the great armaments which the nations are compelled to hold against each other. With perhaps the ex ception of Russia, he does not believe that any of the great powers are set upon con quest, but the fear each has for the other keeps them on a war footing just as fully as it each were about to set out to con quer the Continent. He believes the small er countries of Europe have the power to force a new order of things, anil he would bring it about by the establishment of a great court of arbitration. "The small states must disarm." says he, "and turn their attention to the great social prob lems which are agitating the world. The spirit of war Is destroying the progressive element of all Europe. The small states must set a practical example in the mat ter of arbitration. Denmark, Sweden, Norway, Holland. Belgium, Luxemburg, Switzerland and Portugal must force the powers to open a European congress for the discussion of this important matter. If these countries demand absolute neu trality their demand will be heeded. Let the small states get Into a slate of abid ing peace and the greater powers are sure to follow." This may sound as the voice of a dream er, but It is certain that a humanitarian spirit or, possibly, a better way to put it would be a weariness of war has grown swiftly over Europe during the past two decades. In a crude and unsatisfactory sort of way the present concert of pow ers is along the very lines drawn by Bjornson. The arbitration treaty which England proposed to our country is cer tainly another manifestation of a yearn ing for peace, and it may not be long until such a congress as the Norwegian proposes will actually come Into session. Outside of a natural Interest every in telligent being feels in the affairs of the world, an American may find particular satisfaction in watching the momentous events now in progress across the water. Every international trouole which arises, every Intrigue which is reported among the European diplomats, every hostile manifestation of one nation toward an other, every war budget which bleeds the lifeblood of some nation to maintain its standing armies, brings homo to him a better appreciation of tfio magnificent se curity of his own country. Here we are monarchs of all we survey, there is none to make us afraid, and our condition is indeed blessed! MISSOURI DEMOCRACY IX A MUDDLE. Tho announcement by Attorney General Crow that he will bring quo warranto pro ceedings to test the right of Chief Vallins to hold tho position to which he was ap pointed by Commissioners Scarrltt and Gregory denotes a significant concession to the Democrats of this city and of the state who regard the police department as legit imate political prey. It was not thought at first that the dis satisfied wing of tho Democracy would make any successiui ncaaway in Its op position to the new chief, because of his obvious qualifications and becauso of the popular demand that the department should be freed from all political entangle ments. It seems, however, that the ma chine politicians, working upon the preju dice that exists among the laboring classes against tho Pinkerton detective system, havo stirred up a form and degree of pro test that is sure to work havoc in the party ranks, whether it results In the removal of Mr. Vallins or merely sustains him beyond cavil In his new office. Granting that tho prejudice agnlnst Mr. Vallins' professional associations has much to do with the op position to his appointment, and allowing that the question oi eligibility is some thing of a factor, it Is apparent to all that these influences have become active through political direction. Tho fight is one of politics and not one of merits or deserts. ' It is characteristic of the Democratic party to dlvlda itself over the spoils of of fice. It is not an unusual thing for a very small bone to breed a very large contention. That the selection of chief for the Kansas City police department should bring about a division of the state Democracy, leaders, press, voters and all, would be highly lu 'dlerous hut for the frequency of such ex hibitions of factional strife in the great unwashed party. Suppose that the anti-Vallins movement should prove successful. The party would be just as squarely divided as it is now. for there are many Democrats who be llve that Mr. Vallins is an able, conscien tious and energetic official, and they would find ways to show that his removel, should it be brought about, was a blow to the city government. The only turn that could fur ther complicate tho-situation would be the appointment, in Mr. Vallins' place, of some candidate selected by the present anti-Val-Hns gang. Such an appointment would put the police department of this city on pre cisely the same footing that it was when Its corruption surpassed public endurance. ! Announcement, is made that Mr. Angcll, Who Is about to start for Turkey, has form ally left the Michigan university. This will correct any impression which may have got abroad to the effect that Mr. Angell was going to formally take the university with him. Tho United States senate is a very ex alted body. It is said of the Almighty that a thousand years, with Him. are as one day, and one day is as a thousand years. It is a good deal that way with the senate. The conduct of Greece in tho present trouble is so unheroic and disappointing that if her opponent were other than tho loathsome Turk the world's sympathy would bo largely withdrawn. Tho friends of the Kansas agricultural college will simply have to do as tho friends of tho Kansas university wait as patiently as possible for a return ofj rea son and Republican rule. An Alabama man came home at the usual hour and found that dinner wasn't ready. He clubbed his wife to death, but that, of course, did not make full amends for tho great wrong he had suffered. Mr. Bryan, a rejected statesman, hastens to take issue with Mr. Cleveland, a con demned one. The country hasn't sufficient interest in cither to care for tho outcome. An Ohio bank cashier absconded, and the bank officials were startled to find that his accounts were all right and the money all there. He has not yet been apprehended. Prince Chimay might ask the courts for an additional allowance from his wife's Income, in view of the advertisement his recent duel gives her. Mr. Peffer is determined to have a wide awake, spicy newspaper, if he does nothing else. Ho is copying copiously from the Congressional Record. The report that Crown Prince Constan tino will remain at the head of tho Greek army may or may not bo true. How fast can ho run? KANSAS TOPICS. The Wichita Eagle describes Joe Brlstow as a man with tho big head, but who has sense enough to know that it Isn't as big as it feels. It's too bad that Mrs. Senator Kellcy and Mrs. Colonel Lease cannot he more lady like in their discussion of each other's mas culine attributes. r Frank Brown, of Atchison, says he has a servant girl who always lights a match exactly as a man docs. Wo should think it would be awful annoying to her to turn up the sole of her shoe so often. .- m Charley Martin tells his people at Sa lina that he feels very sure of being elected reading clerk of the United States senate. Another Kansan has touched the top notch abroad. Joe RIppetoe, late of Jef ferson county, is now president of the Washington State Normal college. Hon. S. R. Peters is down at Little Rock teaching the Arkansas lawyers a thing or two in United States district court. j The Atchison Globe wants to know what has become of the old-fashioned woman who used to say to her children: "Cross patch, turn the latch, and let good nature in." Wednesday was the fiftieth anniversary of tho arrival of Father Shoemaker at Osage mission. He founded a Catholic school and the event was celebrated this week by a great Catholic ceremony, at which Bishop Fink presided. Most peoplo have an inexpressible horror of being cut up by doctors after death. A notable exception may be found in the case of Mrs. Foster, who died at Oskaloosa the other day. She requested her physician to make a post mortem and find out what had really been the matter with her. He found both lungs entirely gone. The days when wild horses roamed the plains of Western Kansas are fast becom ing a dim and uncertain memory, but nev ertheless there are still a number of men living throughout the western counties who in the early days not only caught the un tamed steeds, but actually made a profita ble business out of it. The Western Kansas wild horse was not in fact a wild horse at all. In every drove mipht be found animals of widely varying build, breed, size and color, which would not be true If all belonged to a species in digenous to the country. For the greater part they were the progeny of gentle horses which had escaped, perhaps, from teamsters who followed the old Santa Fe trail before even tho territory of Kansas corrrr.enced to make history. Indeed, it was not infrequent to capture animals that bore harness or saddle marks, and in many Instances horses were taken which had all the characteristics of the Kentucky thor oughbred. The handsomest horse Topics ever saw was a stallion captured by Sam Shrak, who was In tho wild horse business with headquarters near Fort Wallace, dur ing the early '70s, and we have heard him refuse almost fabulous prices for the su perb animal from army officers at that post and at Fort Hays. The most famous of all the wild horse takers In Western Kansas was Neb John son, who became known far and wide as "Wild Horse Johnson." Mr. Johnson went to Western Kansas with his three younger brothers from Pike county, Mo, in 1872. He had heard of the largo droves of wild horses which ranged over the prairies, and equipped himself with half ,a dozen race hcrses with the idea that he could run the wild animals down and "rope" them as a cowboy does a steer. He built cor rnls at a. point on the Smoky river in Gcve county. These corrals were made of poles eight feet high, and to one was at tached a V-shaped chute which ran out on the prairie about a mile, and had a width of halt a mile at its mouth. Mr. Johnson is still a resident of Western Kan sas, and we will let him tell his own story of how ho managed the horse-catching business after these preparations had been completed: "Our first attempts." says he, "were to run the horses down, but we soon gave that up and changed to 'walking' them down. For this purpose we got a very light, Tvide-track buckboard, fitted It witn wftter kegs, a square tent that could be quickly stretched with four Iron pins from the end of the elevated tongue, nnd a llt tlj cas of the simplest cooking utensils. "Ejiperlence had already taught us that the wild horse, like most of the prairie animals, always traveled In a circle. Our plan was to locate them, and then one of us would follow them the first round, he giving way to the second man and he to the third, until we hud worn them out an I they could he easily driven into our big chute. 1 will give you the story of one chase which is typical of them all: One spring morning my brother, Charley, came in and said he had located a drove of about forty horses. I started at once in the buckboard. nfter arranging that Char ley was to meet me In five days at the point where he had discovered the horses. "The band saw me before I had reached nearer than a mile, and the stallion, a powerful, shaggy-maned animal, trotted out to examine me. Circling, around at a re spectful distance, he eyed me with distrust and seemed to wonder whether 1 meditated mischief, but Up would not come nearer than 400 yards. Finally he turned with a snort and started back on a sweeping trot to the band, which were huddled together awaiting his decision. Away they went, their noble guardian ranging along behind urging the lagging ones and turning oc casionally to watch the queer contraption which was following them. They soon passed out of sight, but I located the trail anil followed them in a walk. I never changed that gait but continued in tho same ever lasting walk. walk. walk. About 3 o'clock I came in sight of the band again and they allowed me to come a little closer. The stallion made a more thorough inspection this time and from a nearer point of view. He seemed to resent my impertinence in following him so far. Tills gave me a bet ter opportunity to observe him. Ho was a powerfully built fellow with the fiery eye and Roman nose which unmistakably marked him as a tough customer. I recog nized him at once as well known among the wild horse men who had tried in vain to catch him. Several had chased this band but never hail forced tho stallion to break his trot. It was said he could trot faster than any other horse in the band could run, and I wanted to catch him mighty bad. "I overtook them no more that day, and at night camped on their trial. At day break I resumed my chase, always on the walk. I overtook them several times that day. and each time I got a little closer and they stopped their run a little sooner. Oneo 'Old Napoleon.' as I named the stallion to myself, showed such fight that I was forced to fire a blank cartridge at him. He then took his band off in high dudgeon and did not stop running for thirty miles. "The third day I overtook them quite often, and tho fourth day oftener yet. They were making a gigantic circle and were now away down by the south lino of Kansas. My team was not wearied any. as they had received regular feed and I never put them out of a walk. The band had found water but once since they started, and they were making north for a drinking place. About 10 o'clock on the morning of the sixth. day I found myself at about the point where Charley had first discovered the band, and I figured that the circle had been around more than 300 miles. Before night Charley showed ur and relieved me with a fresh team. Round and round he followed them, always in the walk, but this time the circle was shorter and ho got back to the starting point in four days. Bert then took up the chase and four days more were passed along the circle. Then Brother Ell took his turn and he brought the hand back in three days, so tired and worn down that they hardly seemed to have life enough left to drag their feet. They no longer fought, and Eli had even succeeded in guiding their course. "Now was the time to strike; so, mounted on our race horses, we all appeared on the scene. Among us was a Mexican boy mounted on 'Old Terror,' a Kentucky race horse of wonderful speed nnd endurance. Ho was indeed our mainstay and at one time had held ihc twenty mile record of the United States.' With a light boy on his back we could depend upon him to knock the last remaining wind out of the herd and get them into shape for us to corral. , "Arming the Mexican boy with a pistol and some blank cartridges and a few loaded ones, we stationed ourselves around on the prairie and watched "Old Terror' do his duty. Dashing in among the horses, he divided them In parts, rounded them up, cut one out and chased It around the band, brought it back, run them this way and that, bunched them, scattered them like a mastiff sporting with chickens. The big stallion tried to light him, hut the dis charge of a blank cartridge would drive him away. He soon became so enraged, however, that he would no longer pay any attention to the pistol, and proved that he was just as quick and swift as 'Old Terror,' an experience we had never en countered before. The two horses finally got into pitched battle and we quickly rushed to the rescue. Our approach did not Intimidate the stallion. He wanted to light the whole crew. Dashing first at one of us .and then the other, pawing, bit ing and snorting fury, it looked as though he would whip the lot. Finally he turned on Charley unawares and seized his horse by the shoulder and was shaking it like a terrier would a rat. There was nothing left to do. and I shut my eyes and turned away as I saw Ell raise his rifle. I could not bear to see the noble animal shot down and I believe there were tears in my eyes when the gun cracked and the big fellow voiced his death scream as he fell over backwards. "It was an easy task, then, to corral the remainder of the herd. We drove them unresisting into the chute and through it into the pens." In conclusion it may be Interesting to know that these wild horses were quite as easily broken to the use of man as the ordinary Texas pony. At one time Mr. Johnson mounted two troops of United States cavalry upon horses which had not been In captivity more than three months, and they were about as tractable as the rest of the horses in the regiment. MISSOURI POIXTS. Tho Jefferson City council Is wrestling with the gas question, but the prospects for cheap light there are r.ot at all encourag ing, the pending franchise providing for a net charge of $1.90 a thousand for that used for Illuminating and $1.50 for fuel gas. It is said that Dockery's friends in Gallatin Insist that he shall havo at least one more congressional term in order that ho may claim tho honor of a record for tho longest continuous service ever made by a Missouri member of the lower house, after which he is to whoop it up for the guberna torial nomination. w The county judges in St. Charles county have laid down In their fight with tho state board of equalization and will make the ordered increase in tho assessment of real and personal property. It was a subject of general comment in St. Joe Wednesday that, up to 4 p. m., the day had failed to add to the recorded list a single fresh lie from Washington con cerning tho postmastership appointment. Success has attended the efforts of the promoters of the big drainage scheme for the reclamation of the Chariton river low lands, and the syndicate seems likely to realize a handsome profit on its investment. "The newspapers of the Northwest coun try, in their frantic efforts to check the emigration of their people to Southwest Missouri, attempt to frighten them by say ing the climatic conditions here are not conducive to health and long life," roars the Lockwood Sentinel. "They lose sight of the fact that the birthplace of civiliza tion was on the thirty-fifth parallel of lati tude, which passes through South Missouri, and that the topography and Indigenous products, as well as tho climate of South west Missouri, are the same as those of tho land which was selected as tho first dwell ing place of man by the Creator. The thirty-fifth parallel of latitude also includes the center of the fruit belt of the world nnd the richest and moat productive part of its surface, with the -most equable and de sirable climate conditions." Trenton's new city hall is to be thrown open to the public Saturday with a recep tion and appropriate dedicatory exercises, in which addresses by Mayor Murphy, Colonel Haiber and Judge Stepp will be a prominent feature. n Governor Stephens and wife and Mr. and Mrs. Ed Orear were the guests of honor In Hot Springs the other day at a reception given by Mr. and Mrs. J. Davis Orear, of that town. Mr. Orear is editor of the widely known "Thomas Cat," and is a cousin of the Missouri insurance commis sioner. e "A feast that I enjoyed more than any other I have ever eaten consisted simply of roast mule, well salted, and 'plain Missis sippi river water," said State Treasurer Frank L. Pitts to a Republic reporter in St. Louis the other day. "I had been on one fourth rations fpr forty-eight days and was nearly starved to death when the steaming delicacy was set before me. It was on the 4th of July, 1SC3. Grant, with more than 100,000 soldiers, had been bombarding our works at Vicksburg forty-seven days. On the 3d day of July Pemberton evacuated Vicksburg with about 20,000 of the 30,000 men he had when the siege began. Two or three thousand of them had died from dis ease produced by famine. The others were killed by the shower of shells Grant kept pouring Into us from the Arkansas side of the river. Wo could havo held Vicksburg several days longer if we had had rations. It Grant had known the depleted condition of our commissary lie doubtless could have forced Pemberton to better terms. Tho morning of the 4th. the Missouri company to which I belonged decided to sacrifice the fattest mule we had. My mess got the hind leg. We roasted it over a spit, liberally ap plying salt as the fat globules oozed out tho pores. We ate every vestige of meat from the bones and washed it down with river water. None of us got enough. It was tho first fresh meat of any sort we had had for more than a month. The soldier, who is now United States Senator Cockrell, enjoyed it like the rest of us. My recollec tion is that it tasted very much like the finest cut of beef tenderloin. I wouldn't mind enjoying another mule feast, though, of course, I don't want to eat it under the same circumstances. Every recurrent Fourth of July carries my memory sweep ing back to this mule dinner. You young fellows who know nothing of the war ex cept what you learn from books or from conversation with those of us who stood its brunt can have no possible conception of its real terrors and hardships. If you could, none of you would want to hear of war in any part of the world." Au Acrinl Pirate. From the Chicago Tribune. It is not explained which branch of the airship family has been prowling about Yates Center. Kns.. but its reported con duct is far from being exemplary. It has apparently sacrificed those high ideals which have actuated the average airship and has fallen into a predatory way of life either because of excessive temptation born of hard times or a general lowering of moral nature. The particular episode which reflects on the character of the aeri al backslider is related circumstantially by Farmer Alexander Hamilton, a bucolic na tive who revels in a historic name and pict uresque experience. Farmer Hamilton forces himself on the public because he has been agitated by the loss of a choice heifer and the airship is the author of his woe. This insinuating monster lulled the senses of the gaping farmer into a state of ad miring wonder as It circled gracefully over his domain and then suddenly it swooped down and lassoed the chosen of his herd and sailed away into space with It, possibly to hold a barbecue on some convenient mountain top. The airship has been toler ated as a harmless source of entertainment so long as' it has not broken any scriptural or constitutional mandate, but the patience of the public will not endure encroachments on the personal property of the spectators. The airy craft must keep to its own sphere and not dally with Kansas heifers. If heif ers are to be pilfered in this lofty fashion there will be no security for the safety of any kind of live or inanimate stock. More over, there is a suspicious coincidence in that this explanation of the disappearance of the heifer comes at a time when the in genuity of ordinary predatory earthly be ings is being sorely taxed to get up new excuses for their own exploits. With this precedent established it would not be sur prising if robbery' as we know It would cease to exist as a crime and all disappear ances of personal property would be cred ited to airships. Envious nrltnln. From the Chicago News. Advices from London to tho effect that the war between Turkey and Greece is about over have caused great indignation in this country among the uninformed and there is every reason for believing that the advices were manufactured out of hand for that special purpose. Lord Salisbury is ev idently trying to embroil this nation in a war with both the present belligerents, hoping that in the confusion which would inevitably follow ho could slip in nnd get his arbitration treaty passed. Fortunately, however, American interests at Washing ton are in tho hands of cool. level headed men who will not fly precipitately into ac tion without deliberation and investigation. And investigation will most certainly show that the London cablegrams are mere shal low inventions of an insidious foe. It was publicly announced on Tuesday that General Nelson A. Miles was preparing to go to the seat of war for the double pur pose of viewing the operations and of lend ing them, collectively, the splendor of his military presence If Greece or Turkey, or both of them, should stop tho war before General Miles arrived It would, of course, be the most monstrous affront ever offered by one na tion, or two, to another. But why should we. on the more dubious word of England, jump to the conclusion that any such dastardly design is afoot? Certainly our relations with Greece havo been friendly, and while we have not been able to approve of tne xurK in an respects, we havo not withdrawn the light of our countenance from him. What object would either nation have in Insulting this nation through its most splendiferous citizen? We confidently expect that Greece and Turkey will co-operate In repelling the Insinuations of England by reserving all their first-rate battles until General Miles has taken his position in tho grand stand and turned down his thumb. Au Inipoxitihle Task. From the New York Advertiser. Our free trade contemporary the New York Times is talking nonsense when It says: "Free sliver coinage will not be dead and buried until we have established a banking system that in all parts of the country will afford to the people all the financial facilities that, in their delusion, so many of them expect from free coinage, without any of the peril and dishonor of that nostrum. Yet the administration puts this supreme matter aside while it con cocts the most Infamous tariff any con gress has ever had the hardihood to pre sent to the country." No banking system that has ever been known or that will ever be known can fulfill this preposterous requirement. Tens of thousands of the ignorant supporters of free sliver confidently believe that it will relieve them from the necessity of hard work, keep plenty of money in every body's' pockets and do away altogether with marked Inequalities of fortune. These absurd ideas are systematically fostered by a horde of vicious demagogues. They are firmly fixed in the minds of multitudes of unlnstructed voters in the West and South. To assert that we must or can have a plan of banking that will accom plish such manifest impossibilities is to insult common sense. Our mugwump friends are altogether too eager to harass and injure the Republican party. Their savage attacks upon it are inuring directly to the benefit of the Bry anites. The Times knows as well as any body that all this talk about the ushering in of a millennium by a new banking sys tem Is twaddle and falsehood. It knows also that the description of the yet 'unformed- Dlngloy bill as "the most Infa mous tariff any congress Um ever had the hardihood- to present to the country" is outrageously untrue. Is It really trying, to strengthen the hands of the communists and repudlators for tho next campaign? Another Step Korwnril. i ! From the Chicago Post. Our progressive friends, the ladies, will hold their first national whist congress at Philadelphia to-day. The purpose of this congress Is to play a series of games for the feminine championship and to settle certain doubtful points which have long perplexed the feminine mind. Inasmuch as men In their congresses have failed to an swer these questions satisfactorily, the la dies contend that they are driven to meet and rule for themselves. The first prob lem to be disposed of at the congress Is "What's trumps?" and as soon as that point is definitely decided the meeting will take up the second and equally annoying question "Who led?" So far as our ob servation of ladles at the whist table goes these are the two great stumbling blocks, and If the Philadelphia congress effect ually disposes of them by one general rul ing we see no reason why whist should not be as easy of feminine comprehension as "muggins" or "old maid." We presume that Chicago will be liberally represented at the congress, and we have a reasonable expectation that this city will capture the championship. Unfortunately, many of our best whlstplaying mothers are de tained at home tills week by the child study congress, and this may cripple Chi cago's chances, but where so much is at stake we may hope that local pride will rise to the occasion. The peoplo of Phila delphia have been duly notified that the congress will meet at the Hotel Walton, hence any unusual confusion or loud talk ing in that neighborhood will not excite wonder or dismay. We are very much interested in this congress and believe It marks an important stage in the onward march of true womanhood. Mr. Cleveland's Fnlc Charge. From the New York Press. It is true that the political career of ex President Cleveland is closed. It is trup also that his Influence with the Democratic party is ended. But In neither of those facts, heartrending though they be to Mr. Cleveland and his little band of idolators is there any palliation for his dishonest echo of the cry of a few hundred import ers that they were betrayed into voting for Major McKinley on the understanding that protection was to be abandoned after the election. Every aay during the cam paign Major McKinley reaffirmed in public speeches the pledge of tho Republican party to restore protective duties. Every day these utterances were heard by tens of thousands and spread by the Press and other newspapers to millions of voters. There was no intelligent man in the United States who did not know that the election of William McKinley would mean the as surance of protection and sound money, both of them together, the one no less than the other. If there were to be any betrayal it would be by a repudiation of protection now. That would be a violation of the pledge made in the Republican platform and re iterated every day till election by Major McKinley. every Republican newspaper and every Republican campaign speaker. Nobody knows this better than Mr. Cleve land. He knows that when he joins the chorus of the note shaving, duty evading importers who have fattened under his tariff law while all the rest of the coun try starved he bears false witness against the party which holds Its honor dearer than all else In the world. A Iluslnes That Hoomi. From the New York World. Complaints were made by dealers last year that the bicycle business In New York city was "badly overdone," but if surface indications count for anything, the 1st of May this year will find two retailers of bicycles in the city where there was one on the same date last year. None of the dealers are likely to make immense fortunes, but all seem to be mak ing a living after putting money In circu lation through payment for rents, clerk hire, taxes and in many other ways through which every merchant helps to make tho life of the entire community more thriving. We have never had a more striking In stance of what unfettered brains and hands can do than Is afforded by this growth. No one has subsidized the business. It has never been "fostered" In any way. Strenuous efforts have been made to check it and to restrict the output of wheels, but In spite of them the trade has out grown Jack's beanstalk, and It Is likely to go on growing for years to come. The secret of business success is to find out what will do the largest possible num ber of people, the largest possible amount of good, and to give it to them at once. That is tho moral of the growth of the bicycle trade, and a first-rate moral It is. lie Vigilant, Jerry. From the New York Sun. The Hon. Jerry Simpson ought to Inter pellate tho Hon. Thomas Brackctt Reed as to the latter's presence at the opening gnme of the baseball season in Washing ton. The Maine statesman has already done great havoc to Mr. Simpson's feelings. Mr. Simpson regards tho house rules as something a little worse than any deed of woe that ever was done In Dahomey. What If Mr. Reed should now be seeking to make insidious changes in the baseball rules? Tyranny is ever encroaching. Mr. Simpson must not cease to watch the speaker, for who can tell what new restraints the speaker may be deriving from the umpires? A Grent Mintnke. Yoh's boun ter learn one solemn t'lng By studdyln' do rabbit. . Yoh happiness It's boun' ter bring Ef you knows how ter crab it. Yoh faith yoh can mos' alius put In de future ez yoh meet It Ef yoh's done got dat lucky foot An' knows jes' how ter treat it. Dat foot's a sign dat yoh will smell De gravy so delicious. Pervlded yoh kin manage well Yoh 'rangements superstitious. But lots of white folks dat I'ze known Has got de keerless habit Ob takin' jest' de foot alone An choppln' off de rabbit. Washington Star. Why He Knew, From the Cleveland Leader. Baldwin "Did you notice that purplo was the stylish color, this season?" Mason "No. I never pay much attention to such things, and I'm surprised that you've noticed It. Has your wife got a hat trimmed in that color." Baldwin "I don't know; but tho type writer's got a purple waist, and the ribbon on her machine Is the same color. So it must be the correct thing." Plenty of Snrfncr. From the Indianapolis Journal. "It is awfully provoking." said the fat lady, "to think that I can only get my weight up to 493 pounds. That other fivo pounds would be worth $10 more a week." The India rubber gent scratched his chin thoughtfully with his heel. "Why don't you take a drlvo along a dusty road?" at length he asked. Some Precedence Left. From the Pittsburg Post. "And did the gToom kiss the bride?" "Oh, yes." "Before everybody?" "No; after everybody except the sexton and tho organist." Coiloma of the Scnaon. Again the glad spring time is here; The blrdlet builds her nest: All day the urchin twirls the sphere. And tho oyster gets a rest. Cleveland Leader. , OF CURRENT INTEREST. President McKinley manifested his Inter est In his college fraternity, the Sigma Alpha Epsilon Society, by giving Its mem bers a special reception while in New Ycrk. President Cleveland was not a col lego man. but that didn't prevent a certain college fraternity from regularly initiating him into its dark secrets and claiming him thereafter as a member. President Arthur was an enthusiastic college fraternity man. He was a member of the Fsl Upsllon So ciety and he was closely identified with it for years after he was graduated from college. President Arthur was the first president of the Psi U Alumni Association in New York, which was later merged into- the Psi Upsllon Club. The influence of Greek letter societies on college men, ob serves a writer In the Sun. has been rec ognized by the faculties of all the colleges In this country, with one conspicuous ex ception, as beneficial, and President Mc Klnley's reception of his fraternity men was a graceful acknowledgment of his ap preciation of his Greek letter society. Numerous stories about the late Con gressman Holman are cropping up. Twelvo years ago he was chairman of a committeo to Investigate alleged Indian abuses. In the course of Its journeyings the commit tee visited Reno. Colonel K. V. Sumner, of the Fifth cavalry, was 1h command of the fort, and as the distinguished party entered the inclosure he caused a salute to be fired. The cannon roared, and there was a great demonstration. When the colonel came forward to greet the visitors Judge Holman said: "Colonel, what Is all that cannonading for? What's the occasion of it?" "It is a salute in honor of you gen tlemen." explained Colonel Sumner. "Then stop it: stop it right off. It is a useless waste of public money.- sir, and I cannot peimit it." said the great objector, with alarm depicted on his countenance. "Sorry, Mr. Holman." said the colonel, greatly taken aback, "but those guns have got to be fired off. Tho regulations require it." The judge grumbled, and declared that It was a scandalous shame to burn up public funds that way. A great deal has been said about the custom of 3 o'clock tea drinking, which is making astounding headway among tho well-to-do classes, and certainly the time has come, the New York Journal thinks, when a man can enter a cafe and order a cup of tea instead of a cocktail without exciting suspicion as to his san ity. The other day. however, a well-dressed New Yorker, who has been for some years a resident of London, entered a hotel restaurant and gave an order which caused the waiter, the cash ier and the people at tho next table to look upon him as if he were'a dynamiter. Ho had ordered nothing more than a cup of tea, but ho had asked to have the dry tea leaves brought to him. together with a pot of boiling water. In order that he might prepare It himself. A member of the Buffalo bar estimates that there are SO.CO0 lawyers in these United States, while in New York state, with a tenth of the country's population, he as serts, there nbido at least a sixth of this entire body of lawyers. In every city east of the Mississippi, he adds, there are moro lawyers than there are legitimate cases In court for them to take care of. Jn the smaller cities one can count on the fingers of both hands the lawyers who earn In an honest way a good living income, but one will need the fingers of a large family, ho says, to count the other lawyers, who eith er are driven to dubious and shady devices to get an income or are forced to eke out a precarious Income by playing second fiddle to tho more prosperous. Among the latest Inventions is a timo lock for tobacco boxes." The object of tho inventor. Grant W. Smith, of O'Neill. Neb., ha3 been to construct a tobacco box which will enable inordinate chewers or smokers to limit the use of tobacco by causing them to wait the lapse of a predetermined inter val of time before they can take a fresh chew or fill their pipe. By a simple device the clock that regulates the lock can be made to increase these intervals of time until the smoker's yearning for his weed has at last been trained down to the van ishing point. Paris' smart set have devised a new pleas ure: Funeral music rendered in the Cata combs at midnight. Chopin's funeral march, Beethoven's funeral march from the "He roic Symphony." and Saint-Saens "Danse Macabre" were In the programme, as well as poems written for the occasion and re cited by the authors. The audience sat In the corridors, surrounded by skulls and bones and lighted by tallow dips. Pains were taken to prevent police interference, since the use of the Catacombs for such a purpose was illegal. Champion Fitzslmmons was knocked out In one round, the other day. by a soft-fisted newspaper man. Certain members of the Clover Club of Philadelphia had decided that they would like to have him as a guest of honor at one of their banquets. But when Colonel A. K. McCIure, who Is president of the club and editor of the Philadelphia Times, heard of the plan, ho was horrified, and administered the knock out blow with the words: "I will not dine with that bruiser." Thcmas N. Rooker. who has been con nected with tho New York Tribune ever since It was founded, fifty-six yeara ago, has retired from service to enjoy the leis ure which he has well earned at the age of SI. and, as well, half his salary so long a3 he lives. He began as a compositor and was foreman for thirty-three years. Since 1S77 he has been supervisor of the compos ing room. He holds one share of tho origi nal stock. Issued In ISM. A record price for a dog was realized re cently at the Birmingham dog show, at tho customary sale by auction of dogs which had been claimed at catalogue price by two or more persons. Mr. R. S. Williamson's St. Bernard, Lord Hatherton. a young doff born In February last, which is said to bo the best St. Bernard ever exhibited, was catalogued at $1,030. but. after a spirited bidding, the dog was disposed of for $3,330 to Mr. Joseph Royle, of Manchester. An old violin has Just been sold In Balti more which is said to have been onco the property of Thomas Jefferson. It was made by August Wllhelm Gller, of Ger many. It is said to have been bought by the Baltimore dealer from a negro 92 years old. who lived in Virginia, at the base of tho Montlcello mountain. He claimed that the violin was bequeathed to his father, who was one of Jefferson's slaves. A water-tube Jail is one of the latest achievements of ingenuity. It Is no longer nectisary to make tho prison bars so heavy and so hard that cutting through them becomes very difficult; but. Instead, they are made simply of pipes forming; part of a high pressure water system. Should any of these pipes bo severed tho water would escape and quickly glva warning of tho break. The demand for organ music In this coun try outside of churches seems to be quite limited. Boston's great organ, once re garded as a wonder, has been stored in a shed for thirteen years, and will soon be sold at auction. It was built In Germany at a cost of $60,000. One trouble about a great organ Is that it is not easy to keep it sup plied with a great organist. American manufacturer, encouraged' by the fact that paper railroad rails have been successfully introduced In Germany and Russia, are experimenting' along the same lines. Paper car wheels have given satis faction for mnny years, and results so far attained Indicate that rails made from the same material will be equally desirable. A North Carolina man has committed sui cide becauso he voted for a negro for public office last fall. He was a new convert to Fopullsm. and was actuated by excessive zeal, but had brooded over the matter ever since. There Is a barber's chair In Houlton, Me., In which Hannibal Hamlin. Fred Douglass. Blaine. Garfield, Theodore Tllton and-Pres- I ident McKinley arc said ts iV I M