Brownsville herald. [volume], February 19, 1929, Page FOUR, Image 4

About Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current

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fee Snramsufllf HeralO
Established July 4, 1892
Entered ms ee-ond-class matter io the Postoffice
Brownsville, Texas.
THE BROWNSVILLE HERALD PUBLISHING
COMPANY
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BIEMBER OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
Ths Associated Press la exclusively entitled to the as?
lor publication of all news dispatches credited to it or
not otherwise credited in this paper, and also the local
news published herein.
TEXAS DAILY PRESS LEAGUE
Foreign Advertising Representatives
Dallas, Texas, 512 Mercantile Bank Building.
Chicago. Ill, Association Building.
Kansas City. Mo, Interstate Building.
New York, *50 Madiaon Avenue.
The Agricultural Problem
In discussing the agricultural problem and the
necessity for more and better education. L. W. Bald
win, president of the Missouri Pacific Lines, infomvi
the joint convention of agricultural extension work
ers at Houston recently that he considered the farm
problem one of education.
Discussing the marketing phase, the rail execu
tive said: *• Admitting, as I believe all of you do. that
In the face of the progress that already has beer,
made In solving our problems of production, the
greatest problem of the farmer is marketing what he
produces. I submit that the answer to this problem
will be found In widespread education and an Intelli
gent administration of the natural law of supply and
demand rather than in any effort to repeal that law
and obtain relief through the use of some temporary
stimulant.
*'I have no desire or Intention of minimizing tn
any way the problems of the farmer. They are very
real and they need attention and the application of
the best thought that can be hrought to bear on
them. But in considering the plight of agriculture I
am unwilling to accept the unsupported statement I
of those who have recited the alleged long list of Ills
of agriculture and painted them so freauently in
somber colors that farmers generally, while realizing
that the gloomy pictures are not representative of
themselves as individuals, have come to believe that
they represent widespread wrong conditions.”
There is sound logic In Mr. Baldwin’s statement
Necessity has failed to force the farmer to provide
proper arrangements for marketing, and it is abvious
that education alone can accomplish that. Doubt
less, It will take years, but the time will com" when
the fanners will demand as efficient and scientific
marketing as they now demand In connection with
production. When that time arrives the farmers will
not be worrying about farm relief measure, equalizing
fees or other temporary stimulants designed to re
lieve economic Ills.
. ... — ■ ■ .W
Melville E. Stone
In the death of Melville E. Stone, for 28 years
general manager of the Associated Press, and for
almost half a century an outstanding figure In Amer
ican Journalism, the newspaper fraternity ha* lost
one who wielded agreat Influence in the building of
the modem newspaper and establishing news gather
ing upon the high plane of efficiency and accuracy it
has attained.
In the years Mr. Stone served as general manager,
the Associated Press has developed Into the greatest
national and international news agency in existence.
St reaches Into every civilized country: Its network i
of leased wires cover the United States, and the serv
ice it renders the reading public is incalculable.
This organization is due to the executive abilltv
of Melville Stone. He leaves as a monument the
greatest co-operative organization in the world, an
organization devoted to servcice to the public. From
a comparatively small news gathering aeeney. cov
ering only the most important news centers of the
United States, the Associated Press, under the guid
ance of its manager, in less than a quarter of a cen
tury has extended Its scope to cover the world, with
representatives in every foreign city, and thousand of
correspondents in American territory.
Accuracy is the foundation upon which the Asso
ciated Press has built its prestige and organized its
far-flung system for the gathering of news. From
the day Mr. Stone took over the management he
sought to impress the necessity for accuracy upon
every member of the organization, and the results
of this policy are evident in the position the Asso
ciated Press now holds.
Melville Slone has made th- Associated Press
more than a news gathering agency: it has become a
national institution, one upon which the American
people rely, and which is performing for the nation
as a whole a service of incalculable value.
No better index to the high character and embl
tlons of Mr. Stone could be secured than his utter
ance at the annual meeting of the Associated Press
1925. when he said: “I regard the Associated Press
as a public duty and every public dutv is a privilege
If it were not so I should never have been with you.'
In those words he voiced the spirit of the organiza
tion he labored over a quarter of a century to per
fect, and it is that spirit which will continue to
guide the policies of the Associated Press in its future
relations with the news reading public of the world.
Mexico Co-operating
The Mexican government has assured the Browns
ville city commission and Chamber of Commerce that
full co-operation will be extended in connection with
the celebration inaugurating the air mail service
This co-operation was manifested Sunday, when the
Mexican officials, at the request of American officials
and the city of Brownsville. postponed inauguration
of the Mexican air mail until March 9. in order to
conform with the date set for establishment of
American air mail to Mexico City.
Opening of the American and Mexican air mail
lines on March 9. and the departure of Captain Ira
C Eakrr on March 10. on his proposed dawn-to-dusk
flight from Brownsville to the Panama Canal Zone,
will provide a momentous setting for the two-dav
celebration by the city of Brownsville for the forma!
inauguration of the municipal airport
International aviation htstorv will be written in
Brownsville on March 9 and 10. The events sched
uled for those two days will be the foundation upon
which development of future air communication be
tween this country. Mexico and all of Latin America
will be established, and no one can predict how far
reaching this service will be. the friendly relations
which will result and the commercial advantages
which will accrue to the entire western hemisphere.
The air mail will serve to bind more closely the
two republics of the western hemisphere: the passen
ger service that will be inaugurated also will do its
part tn bringing Americans and Latins Into closer
contact, and with these contacts established, preju
dices and antipathies, which have no place in mod
em civilization, will soon cease to exist.
Brownsville appreciates the co-operation of the
Mexican government, and can extend the assurance
that the celebration marking inauguration of air mail
service into Latin America will be worthy of the
event
OBSTACLES PROVE MAKING OF LEAGUE
(Sherman Democrat).
Ten years ago Feb. 14. President Woodrow Wil
son at the Paris peace conference read the draft of
the covenant of the League of Nations. Now after a
decade of existence. Salvador de Madariaga, former
head of the disarmament section, declares that what
made the league live was the fact that it was bom
in adversity. By reason of the neglect of the large
governments, he feels that it has gained strength.
It is pointed out that the league had hardly been
bom before it had to face the American senate, as
if Providence had decreed that the new-born thing
should be tried in the mill of adversity. Coming out
of the trial just barely alive, it has struggled on until j
even the skeptics in the most indifferent nation con
cede that the organization is growing in favor and,
consequently, in strength. ,
It was Josephus Daniels, secretary of the navy un
der Wilson, who declared the belief that back of the
Kellogg treaty was a desire that this country should
keep in favor with the rest of the world by making
gestures, at least, towards the same end for which
the league was brought Into existence. As a matter
of fact, that motive must have had something to do
with all of the gestures made by the republican ad
ministrations from the time of Harding's disarma
ment conference.
With this passage of a decade, the United States
is no nearer* apparently, offering any instruments or
treaties that appear to be more than a scrap of paper.
In the meantime, the league continues to function,
and function more smoothly as time goes on. Ad
versity Is the soil in which some plants grow. The
league has had all rain and little sunshine, but it
still lives and grows.
Vi®ws
STATES ASKED TO RATIFY RIVER AGREEMENT
(Lawrence Cowle Phipps was bom in Washing
ton county, Pa., Aug. 30, 1862. He attended high
school in Pittsburgh and began work in iron mills
owned by the Carnegie company in 1879. He re
signed as vice president and treasurer of the
latter concern when it was acquired by the U. S.
Steel corporation in 1901, and settled In Denver,
Colo. There he founded the Agnes Memorial
Sanatorium for the treatment of tuberculosis. He
was elected to the senate in 1919 and is now serv
ing his second term. He is a republican).
The Boulder Canyon act. which became law last
December, contains amendments intended to bring
about complete ratification of the Colorado river
compart. Proper inducements are extended to Ari
zona, Nevada and California to enter into a three
state compact, thus clearing the way for seven-state
agreement, which is in the interest of each of these
lower basin states. This is equally true of the four
states in the upper basin. Only by interstate com
pact, upon which the Boulder Canyon act Is based,
can either the upper or lower groups procure a seg
regation of water unaffected by water uses within the
other basin.
In my opinion reservations and conditions affixed
to state ratification would be moet unfortunate and
might defeat the entire program. Inasmuch as such
reservations would not have been approved by all the
ratifying states, their effect might be to invalidate
the adherence of that state to the compact. Not only
would the effectiveness of the Boulder Canyon act be
jeopardized, but also the state in question would lose
the opportunity to procure a segregation of water in
favor of the basin to which it belonged.
Water is what we need. Each state must have the
right to claim its proper proportion when needed,
and yet we must encourage early development of
western resources throughout the entire river basin.
That was the purpose of congress in enacting the
present law. In addition to authorizing the Boulder
Canyon project, we have assured an equitable divis
ion of the waters of the stream and the guaranty of
an adequate future supply for irrigation, domestic
and hydro-electric power purposes. This has been
the real achievement of Boulder Dam legislation. It
only remains for each of the seven states to accept
such great advantages by the unconditional ratifica
tion of the Colorado river compact. _
TK® World surodAlfl !
Bv Charles P. DriieoU
1MMORT ALITY
Clarence True Wilson has an article entitled
Shall We Liver Forever?” in the February Forum.
It is an earnest and logical presentation of the case
of immortality. In reply to Clarence Darrow's pre
viously published article denying the existence of the
soul.
Mr Wrilson's article may be good ammunition for
those whose faith in immortality is so weak that they
need to bolster it up from time to time with logic and
reason and evidence. In fact. I think the evidence
and reasoning marshaled by Mr. Wilson might
strengthen the faith of some who are mildly skep
tical.
For myself, the Wilson article does not a thing.
, It sounds to me somewhat as an argument to prove
that we who write and read these words are alive
'might sound.
* * * »
I am so old-fashioned that I believe in life. So
gnorant that I believe in life without requiring evi
dence or logic to give substance to my belief.
To believe in eternal death is for me a mental and
spiritual impossibility. It requires too great a use of
the imagination. It stretches my faith-power alto
gether too much.
To believe in never-ending life to me is as natural
as to believe anything else that I see and feel and
perceive.
I have never seen the end of anything. I have
never seen anything destroyed. Forms and shapes
and mods of manifestation are changing all about us:
yes. But nothing is ceasing to be.
Shall I believe that you and I. the perceivers of
all these things, the most sentient of all created ob
jects. shall cease to exist, while all else goes on eter
nally. as it has always gone on?
I can't believe It. No matter how hard I might
want to believe it, I couldn't.
We know a few trifling facts about matter. We
know that matter doesn’t cease to exist. Our obtuse
senses of touch and taste and smell and sight give us
evidence concerning matter and its forms and
changes. We don't know much about matter, to be
sure, but we know a little.
Now. of the factors that we can neither taste nor
smell nor see nor feel nor hear, we know practically
nothing. In fact it is only within the last few yean
that we have been able to learn a few elementary
facts about what we call sound wares. Already, we
have learned to pick them up. soon after they have
been disturbed by a human voice or a banjo, and re
form them into the words and tones that we uttered
at some distant place, half around the earth.
But of that mysterious thing which Is you. or tnat
elusive factor which is me, we know so little that
some folk actually disbelieve in the permanence of
these factors. We are indeed sadly ignorant, when
we may still question immortality.
DYNAMITE!
— ----^__I _ I
1 7 THE STORY OF
ACIRLWHO MADE
MEN LIKE HER}
_ _9 by Centr 11 Ftmb Assooktioa, Inc.
‘ "* . ■ III—I u i — ■.■n.ll.— Ill ..1
READ THIS FIRST:
Betty Brown, unattractive to
men, takes up dancing. At the
death of her parents she is com
pelled to dance for a living, but is
driven from one position to an
other by the unwelcome attentions
of men. Her last position is at the
Iron Door, a night club, from
which she is discharged after re
pulsing the attentions of a city
politician. Her friend. George Har
ris, resents the publication of this
story in a scandal sheet and asks
her to stay away from his place of
business. Her landlady asks her to
move, but Andy Adair and Harry
Ford laugh over her troubles and
ask her to go on a party.
(Now Go On With the Story)
• • *
CHAPTER XXIX
Andy arrived at Betty's house
promptly to take her to the part:’.
When she was In his car he said:
“Don’t crab the party tonight.
Betty, These are nice girls, even
if they are a little unconventional.
They both work at the City Hall
and earn their living.’’
“Why do you suggest I migfct
crab the party?” *she asked.
“Oh. I don’t know. You are all
right sometimes, but other times
you seem a regular prude. What s
a few kisses, more or less, any
how?” He laughed.
“I don’t mind your kissing me,
Andy, but I'm not much for indis
criminate kisses.”
“When I took a punch at Dau
bert you told me you liked me a lit
tle. Just prove It tonight by re
laxing. It'll be good for yeu.”
Before she could reply they ar
rived at the apartment house. He
introduced her to two nice-looking
girls, who tried to make her feel at
home. Doc and the Irrepressible
Harry arrived a few minutes later,
their arms filled with packages
which proved to be oranges, gin
gerale, sardines, crackers, pickles
and olives. There was a two-quart
bottle of some colorless liquid,
which Betty suspected to be gin.
“Listen here, you!” commanded
Peggy, the taller girl. “I told you
your card of admission to this flat.
was either a side of bacon or a
ham. How do you suppose we eat
when you aren't here? You will i
eat arid drink all this stuff to- ]
night and leave the apartment with !
nothing in it but squoxe oranges,
empty cans, empty bottles and vain
regrets.” . \
"Peg. I tried to bring the bacon
or the ham.” Harry answered, sol
emnly. "but the pig I picked was
a marathon runner. I ran him till
he was too thin to make good ham
or bacon and then left him to his
own devices, knowing that you
would rather see me without bacon
than miss me as I did the pig.”
‘The way you can make up stor
ies. you would make a good married
man!” laughed Peggy.
“Good night!” Harry picked up
his hat. “When a woman begins to
talk about marrying me it is time
to go *
"I will never marrv you when I
am sober.” assured Peggy. “and I
haven't the slightest intention of
getting tight tonight.”
“Darling, you may kiss me!”
cried Harry.
“You are so go*x! to me!” sigh
ed Peggy, putting her arms around
him and kissing him long and lin
1 gerlngly.
The supplies were carried to the
kitchenette, where Peggy and Har
ry remained to make up a drink
while the others chatted and lis
tened to the phonograph. Harry
appeared with a large cocktail
shaker and Pegrv with a trav of
glasses When they were filled
Andy took two and. with a warn
ing look at Betty, handed her one.
She drank with them. As she
put down the glass Andy patted her
on the back, approvingly.
"How come you aren't dancing
tonight?" asked Dos of Betty.
She looked helplessly at Andy,
but Harry gave them a humorous
explanation of the affair at the
Iron Door They all seemed to
think it a huge joke, and said
Andy should marrv the girl he had
rescued, in story-book fashion
They had another drink to the
hero, Betty sipping hers with the
rest. There was enough left in the
shaker for another round of drinks,
but Andy commanded: "Pass Betty
this time. She Is Just in from the
country and will pass out if we
aren't careful."
“The only one of us who has
ever passed Out was you at the
frat dance!” jeered Betty. She
reached for the cocktail, but Har
ry walked away saying: "The lit
tle girl will put on her dance later.
We don't want her kicking any one
in the eye!”
“Oh. please dance for us!” beg
ged the girls.
"But I have no costume!” object
ed Betty.
"Put on my bathing suit,” sug
gested Peggy.
“Yes. go on! Give us a dance!”
begged Andy.
Remembering what he said about
crabbing the party. Betty went into
the next room and put on Peggy's
red bathing togs. She danced her
jazz number to the music of a
phonograph record.
She finished amid wild applause.
Andy pulled her down on his lap.
kissed her on the back of the neck,
and told her she was wonderful.
She rested a few minutes, and then
found a waltz, to which she impro
vised one of those slow, graceful,
floating waltzes Peggy and her
roommate. Sally. Insisted that she
show them some of the steps Gath
ering their skirts up out of the way.
they both practiced with her until
Harry came back with the refilled'
cocktail shaker.
Betty and Peggy. Andy and Harry-!
sat on a big divan while 8ally
perched on Doc's lap. They sipped
their cocktails. Bety was now a bit
dizzy, but she turned to Andy and
asked: "Am I crabbing your par
ty?"
“You are the world's one best
bet I” he assured her. holding her
dose and kissing her.
Doc and Sally statred the music.
He held her to him, and kissed her
from time to time. In a moment
Harry and Peggy were also dancing.
“Come on!” Andy put his arm
around Betty and tried to pull her
to her feet.
“I must get Into my clothes!” she
said, looking at her bare legs.
"Stay the wav you are. You look
good!” Andy answered They began
to dance again, and she let Andy
pull her to her feet and began to
dance with him. She was half em
barrassed and half defiant. Si*e had
danced publicly with less clothing
thn she now had on. and tried to
justify herself by the fact that the
others paid her no attention.
Andy held her close and kissed
her now and then as they danced.
She gave herself into his arms com
pletely. closing her eyes as objects
in the room swayed before her.
The record ended. 8he stood
clasped in Andy's arms, while an
other was substituted. As they
strted dancing again (someone touch
ed the electric light button, and
they danced on by the dim street
light reflected from the celling.
Close pressed to Andy, she wonder
ed why she could not dance on like
this forever, forgetting work and
care. .
The music stopped. Andy sai
down in a big chair, pulling her on
his lap. No one made a move to re
light the room. Betty could dimly
make out one man’s figure on the
couch, his head in a girl's lap. She
stooped low to kiss him An indis
tinguishable mass in another chair
was the other couple. Betty laugh
ed as she realized that she was on
her first petting party.
She snuggled dawn in Andys
arms and threw her head back, liv
ing her lips unrestratnly. Minute*
or hours or years passed by. Betty
did not know or care. She was
growing drowsy, yet she was happy
Her hands wandered around An
dy's face, pulling tenderly at a lobe
of his ear. touching his cheeks or
neck. He held her to him so close
ly that she could hardly get her
breath. Suddenly he Jumped to his
feet _
• Qo in the other room and get
dremed!" he commanded, tensely
“We are going home!"
“I don’t want to go home. I want
to stay here and love you!" protest
ed Betty.
“Hurry up! Get dressed! Were
going!" repeated Andy. “Better go
while you can!”
“Aw. what's the matter?" com
plained Doc from across the dark
ened room.
“Shut up! We’re beating it!"
snapped Andy. “Don’t disturb
yourselves."
“Oh, very well. But it's just the
shank of the evening Want any
help. Betty?” It was Peggy's voice.
"No. thank you," answered Betty.
"But I didn’t pass out, and I didn't
crab the party, did I. Andy?”
“No. you are all right," he assur
ed her. "Get dressed as soon as you
can "
He sat down in the chair to wait.
When Betty’s dim figure appeared
in the doorway a few moments lat
er he siad: “Good night! Thanks
for a fine party!”
“You are a right guy!" said Har
ry’s voice, and Betty wondered what
he ma’nt. She called good night
from the door and followed Andy
out in the hall. She held on to his
arm going down in the elevator.
In the car she snuggled her head
on Andy’s shoulder. Next thing she
knew he was shaking her shoulder
and they were home. He slapped
her cheek smartly. Seeing she was
fully awake he said: “Good night.
Bett\"
“Good night. Andy.” she answered,
sleepily, and went itno the house.
(TO BE CONTINUED>
I E I
-r_^ '—auu-g'- ——ar
1 ..’UU
Who am I? What state do I rep
resent In the senate? To the presi
dency of what club was my wife re
cently elected?
What president of the United
States did not claim membership
In any church?
What presidents of the United
States were of Dutch ancestry?
—
What three sisters all wrote nov
| els? _
••Mv little children, let us not
t lore In word, neither In tongue, but
In deed and In truth." Wtaare is
this passage found in the Bible?
Today in the Past
On this dev, In 1803. Ohio was
admitted to the Union.
Today's Horoscope
Persons bom on this day are sav
ing and great home lovers. They
, have a very beautiful nature, with
few faults.
A Dally Tbewght
The stars that have most glory
• have no rest "—Samuel Daniel.
Answers to Foregoing Questions
1. George H. Moses: New Hamp
shire; the 8enate Ladles’ Luncheon
chib.
2. Thomas Jefferson.
3. Van Buren and Roosevelt.
4 The Bronte sisters, Charlotte.
1 Emily and Anne
1 5. I John, til, 1A.
_ _ I
* I
DavbooK J
y i
INCREASE EVIDENT IN
JARDINE’S POPULARITY
By CHARLES P. STEWART
WASHINGTON Feb. K,.—Secre
tary of Agriculture William M. Jar
dine, who ia reckoned as one of the
present cabinet members likeliest to
hold over into Herbert Hoover’i
term as president, would have been
considered about the most improb
able of the lot, until a few months
ago. to survive the end of President
Coolidge's administration.
That is to say, such would have
been the estimate of his chances
prior to the advent of Secretary of
the Interior Roy O. W est and Com
merce Secretary William F. Whit
Of course, it is taken for granted
that the new president will want to
get rid of West the first day in
the forenoon. W’hiting, also, though
no such incubus as Roy. never has
been regarded as anything but a
stop-gap appointee whose portfolio
must speedily be wanted for some
one else.
• e e
Among the oldtr members of the
Coolidge official family, however.
Secretary Jardine undoubtedly
would have been picked, up to pretty
"vcently, as .perhaps the poorest
choice to bet on for a much longer
stay in Washington.
Secretary of State Kellogg and
Attorney General Sargeant were
recognised as certain to go. but
son for hurry in their cases, and in
there seemed to be no especial rea
Secretary Jardine’s there did. for
Secretary Jarline’s chief mission in
office was to please the farmers, and
he has not been much of a success
at it—except maybe lately.
Since the last campaign there is
no question that he has been more
popular than he was.
• • •
The truth appears to be that Bill
Jardine has been a middling good
secretary of agriculture, but it was
hopeless for him to try to suit the
western farmer folk while he had
the "equalisation fee"* hanging over
his head.
No matter what the aqnalisation
fee is—or was.
Everybody who ever took any in-J
terest in it knows already. It would
take a volume to explain it to any
body else. It's a dead issue, any
way.
Suffice it to say that it was some
thing the farmers thought they
wanted and that President Coo|i|i|fl
wouldn't let them have. This i«
ference of opinion placed Secret*!®
Jardine in a heck of a fix. To thl
’ very people it was his job to satis!
fy he was unable to give the only!
thing that would satisfy them. 1
« • • ^
The last election changed the en^J
tire situation for the previously!
much embarrassed cabinet membcrl
In that election the farmers voted!
to the general effect, among other
things, that they didn't want the
; equalization fee, after all. At least.
I that is the only conclusion that can
i he drawn from Herbert Hoover's
! victory, inasmuch as he spurns the
equalisation fee idea also.
With the equalisation fee wiped
off the slate, agriculture is able to
take a more unbiased look at Secre
tary Jardine and its verdict items
to be that he shows op. upon re-ex!
amination. better than the farmers!
had supposed. 1
* * *
If Bill hangs on. it goes almost ,
without saying that his future will 1
depend a good deal on pure luck.
In case crops are good, and prices
are better, naturally ha will be hail
ed as the greatest agricultural ad-^
ministration the country ever hadJ
On the other hand, should things!
get worse, or fail to improve, the
farmers will presently be bawling
him out as vigorously as before, or
perhaps more so, on account of hav-i
ing been disappointed again.
It’s generally believed Mr. Hoover
selected him for President Coolidge
in the first place. That may be one
reason for predicting that the for!
! mtr will keep him if he can._J
About
Newark
NEW YORK. Feb. 17.—A celebrated
comedian furnished the public with
sn account of the origin of Jo«
Miller’s jokes. He stated that Joe
Miller who fathered our jests for
fifty years, never uttered a jest in
his life. Though an excellent co
median on tho stake, he was the most
taciturn man alive. Almost every
afternoon he frequented a saloon in*
London patronised chiefly by trades
men of the neighborhood, who. be
cause of Joe's imperturbable grav
ity. always derisively tagged what
good and had gags they had hes.d
onto him.
After hit passing, having left his
family unprovided for, advantage »si
taken of this badinage. A well-known
dramatist of the day collected all the
stray jokes credited or not to Miller
and put them between covers. The
royalties went to Miller’s kin. Thus
to this dsy,. the man who never
cracked a joke in his life has been
the reputed author of most of them.
• e •
NICE PEOPLE
When one of the current musical
flops wts in the provinces, the
prefessionelly jealous principals car
ried their bitter off-tage quarrels on
stage. The leading lady quit, how
ever, before the snow got to New
York, but it is related how they
yipped at each other.
In the script she was supposed to
say to him: “Well, dear. I’m going
to my room. Where are you going?"
He was supposed to retort: “Just
across the way, honey. I’ll he right
home.”
When the pieee opened, however,
the temperamental leads racked their
lines before an amated audince in
this style:
She: “Well, deer. I’m going to
my room. Where are you going?”
He: “What difference docs it
make to you?”
“It makes no difference to me if
you choke, you rat!" she reorted. as
she slapped him.
• « •
DRAMA
For the last eight years she his
appeared as the femme love inter
est in musical shows. fnvariabl),
the second-act finale revealed he*
walking to the stage altar, and she
possessed great charm.
“The loveliest bride of them
•11,” they raid of her. and she al
ways told her friends that she knew
she wouldn't be a bit nervous when
she really walked up an altar be
caure she had had to much ex
perience pretending she was a bride./
The chap she adored, and was tol
wed next month (after a courtship I
of live years), was accidentally killed
in Canada a few days ago.
INDIGNATION
Senator Borah, discussing an un
satisfactory answer that had been
made to a charge of corruption,
smiled and said:
“It reminds me of the English
butler. His employer said to him: '
“ ‘Houston, I bet you've been at
my Scotch.’
“ ’Heycusa me, air,’ said Houston,
in his haughty way. ’Hexcuse me, i
but I don’t bet* ”
NO LIE
“Meyer, you are a swindler—you
took a day of? yesterday to bury
your mother-in-law arid today I met
her In the park.”
“Pardn me, I did not say she watl
.dead, 1 only said I would like to gol
to her funeral." 1
SMILE. PERN YE, SMILE
A mother came into a room and
saw her baby rolling about on the
fleor and crying loudly. “What ever
are you doing to baby?" she cried
to her six-year-old son. “I’m only
trying to make him smile with the
glove-stretcher, Mummy," replied
that young hopeful.
666 1
Is a Prescription for I
Colds, Grippe, Flu, Dengue,
Bilious Ferer and MalariaJ
It Is the meet speedy remedy tssea|
i
I
To break a cold harmlessly and in a hurry try a
tablet. And for headache. The action of Aspirin is ver^
too, in cases of neuralgia, neuritis, even rheumatism and
And there’s no after effect; doctors give Aspirin to
often infants. Whenever there’s pain, think of Aspirin,
genuine Bayer Aspirin has Bayer on the box and on every
All druggists, with proven directions.
Physicians prescribe Bayer Aspirin;^*
| it does NOT affect the heart
~ '-©ife