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FffBXJH-EHO BYE?*? THTT31SOAT, BY J. L. Sims & S. E. Emroas _xr> Pmpbotobs. SUBSCRIPTION HATES. **-i?year...... Six months. ADVERTISING RATES. First insertion, per square......,..$1 v*. Subssqasnt ics*-*^. ?0 Kotioes of meetings, obituaries end trib utes of respect, some rates per square as or dinary advertisements. _ Special contracts made with large adver tisers, with liberal deductions on above rates. Special notices in local column, fifteen cents per line. AN AKGEL. SIDE. The huge, rough stone from out the mine, Unsightly and unfair, Ess veins of purest metal hid Beneach the surface there. Few rocks so bare but to tiv?ir height Some tiny moss plant clings, ind round the peak so desolate Tho sea bird sits and sings. ? Believe ma, too, that rugged souls Beneath their rudeness hido Much that is beautiful and good? -'We've-all bur angel side.3 ?Boston Post. ?Toe SmTidd's Experience. Very many flights of stairs had tobe "Climbed?rickety, dirty, old, rot-eaten stairs they were?before a visitor could resell the uppermost floor (there were no . elevators-in those days), in the furthest and smallest room of which Joe Smudd, the cobbler, lived, toiled" and rejoiced. Joe was a hard worker, yet while on hissgatJiAmmering out strips of leather (/iW""proper tenuity and solidity, or in stretching seams, or in other employment of his craft, he was never at a loss for a tune to whistle or a verse to sing; and, although he sought not work?never ?went out of his little room in search of it?he was seldom without a half or whole dozen broken-down feet coverings to repair. Of course they were neighbors who patronized Joe Smudd, and for reasons that were good in themselves. They were: his obliging disposition, low prices, good work and promptness, and added to these, a song sung in a voice as clear and as sweet as that of a silver-tongued canary. Joe Smudd was, so his neighbors said, a "splendid singer," and it pleased him to hear them praise his cobbler work and his voice?not that he thought him self a better mechanic than hundreds who depended on their awl for a living, and making what fortune favored them with last. Of course Joe Smudd was not a pun flter. He despised playing on words. He was simply a sole-mender, and a sweeter and better singer than he knew. It was," perhaps, well that he was not wise in this last particular. But, just now, work was slack, and Christmas was at hand. To Joe Smudd the first fact was un usual. As he sat on his bench and pondered and sang, he wondered what had hap pened?why it was he had no shoes to patch up, no boots to heel and toe, nor ; odd jobs to do with welting and upper' and quarter, in-sole and out-sole. Joe Smudd was not discouraged. Not he. He only wondered, that was all. "Well, he rather liked it, for it gave him tho opportunity he had long been seek ing, to study the words of a song he hud - heard a few weeks before whistled and sung by some unknown person?a queer, little old man with green goggles mounted on his nose, and who, as he hazily and ^huskily, voiced the notes, looked steadily^ Jbtx^JJoe's'kindlv face.'und vvh.-mently j . .: : afTSaggiiitr-srItri hoa-sta^ia'Time to the iise and fall of the notes. And now, as. Joe ran bis eyes over the Jirinted words and sang the time correct y and sweetly, he bethought him of the little old man with his comical action, and laughed. It was a low, round, good-natured chuckle that welled up from Joe Smudd's ?' throat when he recalled the action and the figure of the singer, with his impor tant air. When he had finished the last line of the song he murmured: Jv^/^WeU, that's a nice tune anyhow, and Jiile words are almost as good as the air. i/Td like that old gentleman whom I first heard sing it to listen to me, and tell me whether it's all right." r Hardly had Joe Smudd uttered these "words when, to Iiis great surprise, the lamp by which he had read the lines of the song began gradually to grow dim mer, and then, with a spurt, go out, leav ing him in total darkness. 4' Whew!" cried Joe. '' That's funny fanny for the lamp. It never did so be fore; and I declare I thought as it went clean out I saw the old gentleman with goggles on his nose and his big stick in his hand standing there before me!" "Did you, now!" a voice, to Joe's great consternation, cried. " Well, what if you did, Joe Smudd? Ha! ha! Don't you know that there's a door to your room, a window to look out of, and a chimney by which the smoke from your little stove may ascend to the air? Ha! ha! Joe Smudd, Joe Smudd, you don't keep your door locked, do you, when ~yb^-^ing? And, I'll tell you what, Joe, it's Cxr??mas, and you've a grand voice, and?how retuch money have you saved from your laoter since this time last year? Tell me that, Voc Smudd. Hem! I want to know ifcN D'ye hear?" And the Httle cW gentleman, at the close of his oration, struck the bare floor three or four times wifi^his big cane, as if desirous of giving dou"Bte..and treble emphasis to his words. ' > Joe Smudd, by this time, had "forgot ten he was talking to an iutruder^and that, too. in the dark. With a cheerful laugh he answered: "Well, sir, I've just made thread-ends meet. But I've waxed happy and ham mered out a good living, including an occasional pipe and a pint, now and then, of beer. I've heeled and toed it fairly." "joe Smudd! Joe Smudd!" almost screamed the old man; "ani that's all you've done with that voice of yours?" " That's what I've done, mending and making as good as new, customers' shoes. And I'd be pleased to heel and iole yours whenever you want them fixed, und I won't charge you ever much. Always open for a job." "Bah! Pshaw! Boo-oo!" cried the visitor, in most extraordinary fashion, raising his voice to a scream that ex pressed a wonderful amount of contempt and indignation. " Come with me, Joe Smudd!" " You," replied the cobbler. "Why, bless us, it's snowing like fun-, and the wind is whistling and dancing round the corners of the streets, and driving the snow in people's faces, and blinding people's eves, and chilling people's blood!" "It's Christmas Eve!" veiled the old man, as if in a fury. " And you want to sit up here in this little bit of a room! Come with me, Joe. D'ye hear? Come!" Now, Joe Smudd was as courageous as any cobbler in the town, but somehow he was brought completely under the will of the imperative visitor. He tried to demur?to summon ur>? refusal, but it was of no use. Joe Smudd found himself rising from his seat, and, as he stepped away from it, it oc curred to him that he ought to have a light. Seizing a box of matches he struck one. It ignited, and flared up the mil lionth part of a second?just long enough for him to see what appeared to be a pair of goggles of immense size and a head covered with a shaggy cap, and when he had lighted a second match, which also instantly ceased to burn, he thought he perceived, raised high over his head, a huge stick?very much like the one he had seen in the hands of the little man when he first heard the air of the song he had sung, onlv that it appeared more Hke a.giant's si_U* than a walking cane. And mow, do what Joe Smudd would, and he labored persistently and deeper vol. x?. ately, the locofocos would not ignite, or, if they did, would sputter a little, flare up. and then darkness followed. "Well, muttered Joe, "I never sawtne like of it before. It's funny." "Yea, it is?very," said the queer visitor, sarcastically. "Now, when you have burned all your matches, and can find no other excuse, youll perhaps com ply with my request." "Bat/' cried Joe, with a little, show of indignation, "I can't go into the street, in the midst of a snowstorm, with the wind biting and whistling around one's ears, and without my hat and coat and boots?can I?" The irascible visitor laughed shrilly and pounded the floor with his staff. When he had arrived at the conclusion that he had laughed enough, the little man said; "Joe Smudd, you are a fool, an idiot, a donkey, a goney, an ass! But you have a voice." "Why, what have I done?" demanded Joe. "Ha! ha! Why, you've been talking about your coat .and hat and boots," was the answer. "And, behold! you have them all on you, and?why, Joe Smudd, you're dressed like a gentleman!" "I?" queried the now bewildered cob bler. "To be surtj? to be sure you are. I never saw a gentleman better dressed. Why, man, where were you going before took the liberty of entering this elegan studio? To visit some grand lady, doubt less, and entrance her with your voice! Ha! ha! Joe Smudd, you are a hypocrite ?yes a hypocrite, sir!" ' 'I?I?" persisted the cobbler. ' 'You're mistaken. I'm not dressed. How could I be? I have just left off work?that is, a minute ago?that I might learn that sweet song of yours." "Well, never mind, Joe Smudd," re plied his visitor; "1 won't argue further with you about dress. You're all right. Take my arm and assist me to the bottom of your terrible breakneck stairs, and there we'll find a carriage awaiting us." Joe, feeling it would do more comfort able for him to sing his new song alone, gladly assented to the :invitation to con duct the sarcastic intrader'to the street, at once offered him his support. It was not an easy task to descend the crooked fights in the dark with a stranger hanging heavily on an arm of the guile less mender of shoes. But the cordwainer, being accustomed to every turn, succeeded without acci dent in getting to the lower hall. When they had reached the sidewalk the carriage was there, drawn up in front of the doof. To it were attached four splendid horses, their hides glossy and black as night. There was a coachman and footman in brilliant and costly livery standing near the open door of the vehi cle, prepared to hand them to the soft and warm seats within the cosy body thereof. Joe shrank back when the little man, in an exhuberant mainer, waving his stick in the fashion the conductor of an orchestra swings his baton, invited.him to precede him in the cirriage. J'Can't do__jt, sir," snid Jog morp'lfetormrnTxily thai i_jiejhau^?"*jppn anytime "a?ring the interview! "Look! I'm not dressed." ? } "Bah! I say you are. See, there's the gas-light, and here," and the little man ran to the carriage and took out: of it a mirror?"look at yourself, and if you are not attired like a prince I'll?I'll cat you! Ha! ha!" Joe looked, as invited. He started back, overwhelmed with amazement. "Could it be him!" he mentallv cried. "Is that me, Joe Smudd? Why, I'm splendidly dressed, and my face is shaved?and?and ?-" he added, as he drew from a small pocket in his trousers, to which was attached ti costly chain, a large gold watch! While doing this he saw something glitter und scintillate in the light. He looked again, and on one of his fingers was a magnificent diamond ring "Well, I never!" he exclaimed. "When, where did I get these things? and how?" "By your voice," answered the little man, throwing his stick fifty feet in the air and fairly catching it on the end of j his nose as it fell. "Now, Signor Smud dio! Ha! ha! That's good! From Joe Smudd to Guiseppe Smuddio. Pray, signor, enter. Beauty, wealth, popu larity aw u;t you in the palace of the muses?the home of cultivated harmony in east Fourt-jenth street. Ha! ha! A lions, signor!" Joe felt himself puffing up and swell ing with his importance. He had not, so he thought, been more than comfortably seated in the carriage, when he found himself standing behind the footlights of the stage of s vast theatre. Before him were thousands of faces. There were eager, expectant faces everywhere, and near, as leader of the orchestra, swinging in the air his big stick, was the queer little man who had insisted upon his honoring the occasion. And as he stood in the vast presence, cheer upon cheer greeted the cobbler. It rang in his ears like a mighty storm of sound. Then there came at the end of it a tremendous crash of music. BijjjJ drum and little drum, bugle and trumpet, Clarionet and serpent, and fifty other in struments sent forth one mighty and harmonious voice. When the instrumental part had been brought to a close, there was a dead silence. So still was it that Joe Smudd, alias Guiseppe Smuddio, could hear the ticking of his watch, thj beating of his heart! , "Sing! Sing, Sigi.ojr Smnddio; D'ye hear!" screamed the little man, rising and throwing his stick ?with a furious gesture upward until it strick the ceiling, and which on falling hit the bald pate of the big drummer, causing that much in jured gentleman to howl with pain. Joe opened his mouth as if to sing, and, notwithstanding the audience again applauded more deleriously than on his advent, never a word or note could he get out of his throat. There he stood, as if transfixed, with his mouth wide open! The people in the parquette and boxes and galleries, perceiving this, began to stamp, and then to hiss and groan. As this had no effect on the vocal organ of the unfortunate Joe, they commenced throwing ill-smelling eggs, rotton oranges and decayed cabbages at him, and these little attentions were followed by howl ing and screaming and tearing up of the ?eatsandthe firing of all kinds of missiles at the little conductor who had brought tiim to this pass, and who, it?}vas evident, was wild with anger and indignation. The marked disapprobation of the audience grew in intensity. Pandemo ah:ra seemed to have drifted from its inqhorage into the house, and through it ill, because he could not help himself or ?et out of the way,stood the now pitiably ! besmeared mender of boots and shoes. Then came a fearful explosion, and j Toe Smudd found himself shot into the \ lir and going swift as a cannon ball? but whither? * * * * * "Joe! Joe!" cried a soft voice, "wake up! What is the matter? You're tumb ling about and groaning at an awful rate." " What!" exclaimed the cobbler, as he leaped from the floor to his feet;?" am 1 ] here? How came I in this room? Oh, what a relief! Where's my gold watch, rn.y diamond finger-ring, and these splen did clothes? Lord, how they frightened me, and I couldn't sing n bit for them!" I " Arc you crazy, Joo?" ssk the soft m Hill ii T voice and in a sweeter tone than at first. "Crazy?" repeated the cordwainer. "Tellmn, Kitty?am I Joe Smudd, the cobbler, or Signor Smuddio, the singer?" The person addressed as Kitty?a fair, pleasant-faced girl of eighteen or twenty years?laughed in a low, silvery voice ai she answered: "Mad as a March hare! Joe, yon ought to be locked up in an asylum foi the demented, with the other sane people that are put therein." " So it was a dream," Joe continued. "It was just awful, Kitty, and I'm glad I'm safely out of it. What was that roai and crash I heard?" " Why, you upset the stove?you fell over it," Kitty answered. "Oh, Joe, il there had been fire in it, we'd have had a fearful time of it this awful wintei night?and to-morrow Christmas day, you know!" Joe looked at the young girl and said, in a low, hurried way: "Kitty, I have an idea. I want a beau tiful, kind, good Christmas present. Do you know what I want, what I must have to-morrow, Kitty? You see. I am so awfully lonely up here. Do you know ] am?" ;. The girl blushed and smiled and hast ened to change the conversation. "Tell me your dream," she said. Joe seized Miss Kitty's hands. On drawing her to him, he made her seat herself by his side, and then, quietly en circling her waist with his good right arm, proceeded in a straightforward way to recount the history of his adventures in that most wonderful country of coun tries?Dreamland. "What a curious experience, to be sure," remarked Kitty, when he had brought to a close his narrative. "Yes," Joe answered drawing Miss Kitty yet closer to him; "and it all conies of my loneliness. Now, Kitty, I've been begging you for ever so lona to take my name?Smudd it is?and you've held off. Hey?what say you to night? See, the storm's over, and there'e a parson on the next block whose shoes I mend." "It'sso sudden, Joe,"said Kitty, de murely. "Not for a Christmas box, is it?" Kitty laughed. "Well, here's yourc, Joe." As she spoke ?he gave the cobbler a smart stroke with her hand on the right ear, which, of course, he received good naturedly. Love made the cordwainer eloquent, and it was not long?he cunningly point ing out to the girl his extreme loneliness, and what might happen if he should have another such draain?before she con sented. It was yet early that Christmas eve. It might be said that before she was wholly conscious of her conduct the de mure but pitying Kitty found herself en dowed to wear, for better or for worse, with the name of Smudd. In the presence of the Reverend Mr. Snoodson, who was indebted to Joe fbi sundry soles?of leather?the name trans formation. ich ? "Joe, am I awake or asleep?" "Never wider," he answered. "And you'll be no longer lonely?" "Not a bit of it," he returned, and with that he gave her a kiss that almost deprived her of her breath,so ardent was it. "We'll call it square, parson," Joe added, when he had succeeded in getting ?his lips away from those of Mrs. Kitty Smudd. "Very well," responded the minister, with a laugh. When Joe and Kitty returned to the tenement he was again astounded. His apartment had, during his absence, been lighted up, a Christmas tree, set in a box, in it, and on its b.anches con tributions of customers and neighbors, and lots of useful gifts. Among other things "too numerous to mention," as the auctioneers say, was a gold watch, and as much like the timepiece he saw in his dream as one twin can look like another. And there were also nice things for Kitty. Her eyes sparkled when she saw them. "Kitty, am I awake?" he asked, doubtingly. "Tell me for once." "Never wider," was the cheerful re ply Then the friends of the happy pair, without pretension of any kind, but loaded with lots of good things in the way of eatables and drinkables, flocked in, and presently they overspread the whole floor, and?didn't they have a jolly time of it, dancing and singing? And of the gathering, no one danced better or more gracefully than the pleasant-faced bride, or sang sweeter or more delightfully than the good-natured Now all this happened this Christmas eve one year ago, and would you believe it, although there are three of them now?including the olive branch?Joe and Kitty's honeymoon is not ended, and folks say it never will be, which is cu rious. If at times the cobbler exhibits a little pctulence of temper, as the best men sometimes will, Kitty addresses him as Signor Guiseppo Sinuddio. That re stores him to good humor, and his rooms?he has more than one now, and they are on the first story- arc instantly filled with the sweeest of sweet airs, for Joe Smudd, really and truly, has a magnificent vocal ormin. Christinas in Shetland. Shetlanders do not speak oi Christmas as much as of Yule. Nay, more, if you were asking a native why Yule is kept as a holiday, the chances are that his reply would contain no reference whatever to the nativity. He would simply say, it "had aye been kept by the auld folk"? meaning his forefathers. Be that as it may, Yule is in Shetland the great holi day of the year, or at least was so when I was a boy. But Yule was not the 25th of December by the modem calendar, but the Cthof January: for in the "melan choly isles r*f the furthest Th?le" time was always reckoned according to the "old style." We were always, therefore, twelve days behind the rest of the civil ized world. All that, however, is now passing away, thanks to steamboats and electric telegraphs, and newspapers and general intercourse with the South; and I dare say Yule, the dear Yule I remem ber so well, will ere long be known and spoken of only as a tradition, for, alto gether, life in those islands is now very different from what it was some fifty or sixty "years ago. ? Chambers Journal. Christmas Celebrations. The f'^tival of the birth of Christ was celebrated by different communities of the early Christians at various periods of the year, and it was not until the fourth century that the present season was defi nitely fixed upon. This is said to have been the act of Julius I., Pope of Rome, A. D. 337-352. There can be no doubt that the end of December does not rep resent the true anniversary, and there is reason to believe that the celebration was transferred from the last month of the Jewish year, when the birth was known to have taken place, to the last month of the Christian year.?Antiquary. im I an - Cows are still used to drag the plow in Central Gc'jmany, LNGE??iiG, & dM TRAINED FOR THE CHASE. Bow the Cormorunts Work in China ?The Hunting Leopard?A Fist Which Catche? Turtles. ? At the present day the dog stands as the exponent of the highest perfection attained in the education of animals foi economic purposes. The retriever, pointer, and setter are all so finely bred that in many cases their training or edu cation is a mere form, and the desired knowledge seems to come by intuition. A common sight in China to-day is the fisherman with his board of cormorants, ready to-go over at the owner's word. This practice was iollowed in England in former times, and the master of cor morants was a prominent officer of the royal household. The birds are taken from the nest when young, and easily trained, and so rapid are their movements under water that rarely a fish escapes them. When taken out in a boat they are generally kept hooded by a wire mask, to' prevent their utilizing the catch for their own benefit. In China this bird is one of the daily sights to be seen on the canal or island streams, especially in the neighborhood of Ning po. Here on the lake the boats congre gate, each propelled by a single China man, with three or ? four cormorants roosting either on the rail or a platform made for the purpose. So perfectly are they trained that they obey the slightest word of the master; and when he gives the word over they go, and with remark able speed begin a search under water, seiz ingthe fish,rising to the surface,and bring ing the victim to the owner exretly like a dog. If a large fish is captured these intelligent birds go to each other's assis tance, and with a combined effort bring it to their master, after which they arc repaid by the entrails?to them, insa tiate gluttons, the choicest parts. So im portant are these fisheries that many persons are engaged in raising cormor ants and training them for the fishermen. Birds trained to bring down game were first used in China, and Japan. In the former country it was practiced 2,000 B. C, and, according to the records oi Wen "Wang, it was a sport much esteemed in his locality, 089 B. C. Six hundred years before Christ it was also practiced in Arabia, and Persia, and on the ruins ol Kborzabad a bas-reicf has been found showing that it wa:* known, 1700 B. C. About the middle of the fourth century, and probably earlier, birds were first trained by sportsmen in Western Europe. As liawks had a natural bent in this di rection they were used, and out of if grew the fashionable sport of falconry followed for many centuries later. In the ninth century to be a good trainer of falcons was an csser tiul for a young man of good birth. Alfred the Great was n famous trainer, and wrote a treatise on the subject. In France, during the eighth and ninth centuries, the grand falconer was a great man, with an annual salary of 4,000 florins, and an attendance of fifty assistant falconers and fifty gen tlemen. Beside this, he was allowed tc keep 300 hawks for his own amusement, tomd. best, of all, in a pecuniary sense, Ik I ?consed every vender. of hawks, receiv ing a tux-upon every Im-dr-sord' in -the kingdom. Early in the seventeenth cen tury a goshawk and a tassel-hawk brought 100 marks, a large sum for the time. In the reign of Jarc.es I. Sir Thoma< Monson paid $5,000 for a cast of hawks, and as a cast means a pair, the bird; brought $2,500 apiece. Various kinds ? of birds were used., and they were ar ' ranged by the old falconers according tc rank; thus the king used the ger-f alcon, the emperor the eagle or vulture, a prince the falcon, a duke the falcon of the rock, an earl the peregrine-falcon, s. baron th( bastard, a knight the secret, aa esquire tholancret, ladies the marlyon, young men the hobby, yeomen the goshawk, pooi men the tercel, priests the sparrow-hawk, the sen-ants the kesteri, etc. In Eng land to-day hawking is carried on tc some extent, and various birds are usee; to capture herons and smaller game. Ir Africa the falcon is used to capture the gazelle, the birds being trained to seize the animal by the throat, the wounds ant I the beating of the bird's wings so con fusing the poor beasts that they fallt victim to the hunter. In Africa and Southern Asia the chee tah, or hunting leopard is important tc the sportsman. The animals resemble j the common leopard in their markings, j but are more slender, having long legs ! and certain external canine characteristic! :thatare very noticeable, so that it was long ; thought a connecting link between the ] dogs and cats. In Persia it is called the \ youze, and they are carried to the field j in low cars, whereon they are chained, I Each leopard is hooded. When the hunters come within view of a herd ol j antelopes the leopard is unchained, his j hood is removed, and the game is pointed ! out to him, being directed in the pursuit ! by his sight. Then he steals along cau tiously and crouchingly, taking advan tage of every means of masking his at tack till lie has approached the herd un seen, within killing distance, when he suddenly launche-s himself upon hif quarry with five or six vigorous and rapid bounds, strangles it instantaneously, and drinks its blood. The huntsman now approaches the leopard, caresses him, wins him from his prey by placing the blood which he collects in a wooden ladle under the nose of the animal, or by throwing to him pieces of meat, and while he is thus kept quiet, hoods him, leads him back te> his car. and there chains hirn. If the leopard fails, in con sequence of the herd having taken timely alarm, he attempts no pursuit, but re turns to his car with a dejected and mor tified air. The hyena and ounce have also been used in hunting, while tin.- wild dog ol Africa is often in demand. In Asin tiger-hunting would be practiced less were it not for the elephants, who seem to enjoy the dangerous sport as well as their riders, who are safe housed on theii backs. These intelligent animals are also used in capturing wild animals of their own kind, and arc important fac tors in the training and subduing process that comes later. The horse was for merly used in England to stalk animals. They were trapped so that the rider was concealed, and so feeding alonir the ani mal gradually brought the sportsman nearer the game. In the inventories of the wardrobe belonging to King Henry VIII. is the allowance of certain qualities of stuff for the purpose of making stalk ing-coats and stalking-hosc for the use of his majesty. In Florida the writer had an acquaint ance-an ancient fisherman, not too spright ly withal?who possessed two tame peli cans that he had brought up from the nest. As catching bait was somewhat of a laborious tusk, the old man frequent ly attached a leather strap about the birds' necks, and they invariably came back with pouch distended with fish that they were unable to swallow and would not give up, and then they were wrested from them by their owner, who, be it said to Iiis credit, always gave the birds a fair share* of the snappers and barracondas caught with the bait of their collecting. In former years, tc a considerable ex tent, otter was used to fish, the animals being tamed when cubs, and trained at first with leather fishes so that they would fetch like a dog. Though not used exactly in hunting live game, a large lizard found in the Nile country has been put to a curious use. The ani mal is extremely powerful, using its claws to great advantage, and, being aware of this, a large one was scoured Thursday, deciI a band of robbers, who lud ho ladder wherewith to reach the fcftico of a sec ond-story window. Thci great lizard was placed against the. rovgh wail, head ? toward the desired point,iand instantly it began crawling up,' eyenllally hauling one of the robbers safely-pp, who was clinging to his tail. A ve>v good story, , if not true, and perhapl possible^ as these lizards of the Nile , country have been known to drown' Jirhrc animals' in crossing. In England?and too often Jn iMs country?the ferret is Oite^uaeri i? hunt- '. ing the rabbit, while the e /pert rat-catch- ? ere of this country value t!icm as import ant adjuncts to their mysterious business. '' In the Caribbean sea;somV 0f the fisher men use a fish?the rerri0.ra~in the cap ture of turtles. The fVj. is the well known attendant upon tr?i shark, having a disk-like sucker' upogpts head, with ! which it clings to large ^shes. The ex tett to which this labor-r aving arrange- [ ment is used is shown in ; he fact that the . upper side of the ffoh, Vhat in others is generally dark, is light and the under side dark. So powerful is the sucker j that fifteen or twenty pouads can be lifted by taking the fish by the toil, and by. care fully playing in the water a large turtle can be caught. The iiiWmen take the remoras out in a tub of /water in their boats, and have a leather strap attached to a long line that fitted about the fish's tail. At the approach of a turtle the fish is turned over, and remembering its old friend, or instinctively,!,it atraches'itself, and so the reptile, ofteii towing the boat, is gradually brought aloagsicle and" sub dued, and the rcmora placed in the tub to await the second appearance. The re moras attain a length of v foot and a half, and attend sharks and (urtles, and have also been seen aboutalafgeporgie. Num- '?'?! hers of small animals a^e used indirectly as lures to game, showing that .the eco nomic value of animal^ jn this respectis of no little importance,jeven at the pres ent day.?St. Louis 67&io Democrat. -?; A Ginnt iPyfhon. A chorus of discordant screams from the throats of half v -hundred parrots greeted a New York J^th reporter who walked into the bird: dealer's rooms in Roosevelt street. When he had become accustomed to the rasping sounds suffi ciently to hear, the proprietor said: "I will show you the' largest snake in captivity. Snakes m f?iows are usually disappointing to the b^y who has read the cheerful tales of anacondas that swal low nothing smaller than a cow, but here is a sensation in snakes^' He unlocked the hasp on. a heavy' box two and a half by four feet large and a foot dfep, and^;. raised the cover. There was the shake in what sailors might call two Flemish coils, one on top of the otheir;, covering nearly . the whole of the b ? or tho box'. As the light shone into i-ag box the snake raised its head, whichv'was as- large as, p man's open hand, arid moved it about uneasily, while a bfa^k forked tongue darted out toward flje spectators. Its body was black, nettled with white and olive green spots. The little, round black eyes seemed to look steadily into the eyes of the keeper and the re porter at the same time, and nothing could withdraw their gaze till the lid was shut down. "It is thirty feet long, and eighteen inches in circumference in its largest part," said the proprietor. "It was cap tured about eighty miles back of Cal cutta. It is a genuine python. "We have another ouc of the same kind about eighteen feet long, that is probably the second largest ia the country. The largest one could kill and swallow a man. It could kill a horse." "How arc these fellows captured?" "By small mesh nets. The natives spread a large net over any that they find coiled up. The snake at once jumps around in frantic efforts to escape, and becomes tangled up in the net. It is then bound with cords and bands and carried to the sea, and sold to some ship captain." "What is the market price of a python ?" "From $25 to $50 for the ordinary museum snake. That smaller one will bring $150, but the big one will sell for $500. I am going to South America soon to get some of the water snakes. They are said to measure from fifty to seventy-five feet in length. None has ever been captured. Children's Chatter. " My father has something on his house that your father ain't got," said a little boy to his companion. " What is it ?" he earnestly asked. "A mortgage."*?Murathon Independ ent. Little George was questioned the other dav about his big sister's beau. "Howold is he ?" "I don't know." "Well, is he young ?" "I think so, for he hasn't any hair od his head !"?Boston. Courier. Little Benny was looking out of the window the other day when a man went by with a saw horse over his shoulder. "What do you call that ?" he queried. He was given the information he desired, with the question: "Did you never see one before ?" " Oh, yes," was the reply, "I saw a man put a log of wood across one the other day, and then he fiddled it."?Boston Budget. Master Fred. Fenton fell from the top most limb of an apple tree. He was picked up and carried to the house in an I insensible condition. After watching at his'bedside through many weary hours his mother, perceived sitrns of returning consciousness. Leaning over him snc asked him if there was anything she could do for him, now that he was beginning to feel better. Should she bathe his forehead i Should she fan him or change his pillow? Was there anything he wanted? Languidly opening his eyes and look ing at her, the little sufferer said: "Yes, mamma; I want a pair of pants with a pocket behind." He got them.?Philadelphia Call. The Mandate Wna Obeyed. Benjamin Tappan, better known a "Old Ben Tappan, of Ohio,'' was one o the wittiest men who has ever sat in the United States Senate, and he labored under an obliquity of vision greater than that of Governor Butler. On one oc casion, while holding court in an interior town in Ohio, the prison, the county jail of which was construcr-d of logs, as he was passing sentence upon the usual number convicted of petty offenses against the law, an inebriated individual in the customary crowd of spectators sang out. " That's right, give it to him, old gimlet-eye." " Who isthat ?" sternly demanded the court, his sinister eye in dignantly flashing fire. "It's the old hoss. Judge." exclaimed the offender against " the peace and dignity of th State." "Mr. Sheriff," promptly re sponded the dignitary with the italic eye, "take that old horse to the stable, lock him up, and keep him without hay, oats, or drink for twenty-four hours," which mandate was forthwith obeyed. A century ago DUt 1,000,000 out of 27,000,000 souls forming the population Of'France could read and write* Now education is universal* 1MBER 27, 1883. ;';-ggSBggga nigja?? A WHISTLING CUEIOSITY. rhc Homantlc Story of Whistling: Jock as Bo Telia It Himself. In the rear of 450 Ninth avenue, thit city, says the New York New*, is a di lapidated building kno*a as the '* Rook ery." Here it is that a well-known character eats^^ifeepg and whistles. George W. Johnson is a gentleman of color, about thirty-five years of age. 3e is variously known as "Johnson's band," "Whistling Bill," "Whistling ;?ha"rley " and " Whistling Jack" Why 'he has never been styled Whistling George will forever remain a mystery. As WhistUng Jack he is better known in this vicinity. Everybody knows him, but few have heard his story. Readers of the Newa have seen him on the ferry boats, on the cars, in the theatre and on the street. Theybave been charmed-by him while from his screwed up lips he has discoursed harmony that rivaled the sweetest toots of Levy or Arbuckle. Popular melodies, like A "Swanee River," "Way Down in Dixie,'-' "The Last Rose of Summer," or "The Harp that Once," have been invested with by his peculiar talent with irresistible sweet- ? ness, and he can give the "Mocking Bird" and its trills and variations with, the accuracy, expression and finesse 'of Ole Bull. His story, substantially as he told it to a reporter,, is given as follows: Thirty-seven years ago WhistUng Jack was born in slavery on the estate of Wil liam W? Mallory, at Hanover Junction, Hanover county, Virginia. His'parents and grandparents had been brought to "this country by English slave traders from Africa. His former owner and mas ter; Mallory, was captain of the guards who stood around the scaffold on which John Brown was hung. Mallory had in all twenty-seven slaves- Hale and hearty, and able to read without glasses, Whistling Jack's grandmother is living at Chesterfield, Va. She is now 105 years of age, andwap taught to read Eng lish when in her seventy-first year. It is said that she is the only one in this country who can speak her native, or . African tongue. A family tradition is that her husband was. a prince of a Sene gambian tribe.. In the year 1808 he was taken captive, with his wife, and while* in transport to this country, where he had been sold to slavery, he was drowned while attempting to escape. When General Wilson made his historic raid on Harrisburg, Va., in 1882, Whis tling Jack was one of those who crossed the line und joined him. He remained in the army until the war was. over. After -thewar Whistling Jack drifted as far East as Lynn, Mass., where he attended school for three years. The principal of the school was John Batchclder, and one of his schoolmates was Eoland G. TJpshur, who afterward became Mayor of Lynn. After a few years of schooling Whis tliug Jack returned to Virginia. His su perior education, modest as it was, gave nim a prestige and influence with his col ored fellow-citizens. He hod political aspirations, and they were gratified when, in 1871, he was elected a member of the Virginia legislature. He was returned to the assembly for.anothcr term by a hand some majority, and, in 1873, his ambition led him to accept a nomfination for Con gress. He was defeated by W. W. Ayres. After that Whistling Jack, determined to have nothing more to do with politics, again wended his way North. The sum mer of 1874 found him the proprietor of an ice-cream saloon at Long Branch. His face and the little hand-cart loaded with ice-cream and cake, which he trundled along the beach, became familiar to the visitors at the Branch in a short time. Near the close of the season Jack accepted the situation offered him by N. B. C. Hoosac, secretary of the society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. He is next found working for the society as porter, at $75 per month. When less than a year in the service of Bergh, Jack was afflicted with rheumatism, and being confined to his bed for several weeks, lost his position. Walking down Eighth avenue one day shortly after his convalescence, Jack was whistling that melancholv air: " Out in this Cold World, Out in the Street." The tune was very appropriate to his case and condition, as Jack was then looking for work. Ed. Lane, then the proprietor of a livery stable on Fifteenth street, near Eighth avenue, was standing on the corner as Jack happened along, and was charmed by the whistle. Accosting the whistler, he said: "If you come with me to-night, you can get ten dollars for that wind of yours." Jack, after some persuasion, promised to be on hand at 8 o'clock. He kept his promise, and was conducted Dy Mr. Lane to a saloon on the corner of Fifteenth street and Eighth avenue. There he met a well known ex-judge, an ex-sheriff, a gentle man who is now a prominent represcnta tive of this government in Europe, and several other well-known men about town. When the jollification there was at itshight, Whistling Jack was intro duced, and he so pleased the crowd that he was made to whistle all night. HL hat was taken from his head at the end of each selection and when he arrived home next morning and counted the wealth that had been thrust into his pockets he was richer by $70.71 than when he left his lodgings the night before. Many of the same party were to have an excursion the next night to Gravesend. Whistling Jack was hunted up and brought along. There were girls in the party, and a band was taken along in the stages. The band proved to be in competent for dance music, and Whist ling Jack was called upon. The girls were delighted with his whistling, and at their suggestion the band was dis missed. Whistling Jack whistled from 9 r. Sf. until 5 a. m. One of the girls took his hat around and realized $101.01 for his night's music. After that Whistling Jack devoted himself to the business of whistling for a living. He has been in Europe and has amused many of the nobility. He sleeps by day and by night he wanders in search of an appreciative audience. Last winter he traveled with a stock company through the West, and the newspapers spoke of him as the attrac tion of the show. Whistling Jack is no longer poor. In answer to n question of a reporter as to whether he had saved any money, he pro duced three bank books representing $12,000 to his credit. 3111 sic a I Fish. Lieutenant John White says that on his voyage to China, when his ship was anchored at the mouth of the river Cam boya, the sailors were much astonished at she sounds that issued from the water, resembling the bass of an organ mingled with the tones of a bell, the croaking of an enormous frog and the clang of an immense harp. These sounds swelled into a gentle chorus on both sides of the ship and were attributed by the inteipreter to a school of fish. A similar occurrence in the South Sea was described by Baron Humboldt. The sailors were greatly terrified at about 7 o'clock in the evening by an extra ordinary noise in the air, like the beating of tambourines, followed by sounds which resembled the escape of air from boiling liquid. At 9 o'clock these strange sounds, which it was judged, proceeded from a school of scioenoides, ceased. The gizzard shad, known sci entifically as the lorosome, utters a dis tinct, vibratory, whining sound. The mullet utters a distinct note, often quite prolonged und .accompanied by a dis charge of air-bubbles,?Demtr Tribune* HUMOROUS SKETCHES. lYear Enough. A Michigan girl told her young man that she would never marry him until he was worth $.100,000. So he started out with a brave heart to make it. "How arc you getting on, George?" she asked, at the expiration of* a few months. ? * "Well," George'said, hopefully, "I have saved up $22." The girl dropped her eyelashes and blushingly remarked: " I. reckon that's* near enough, George." " That's Enough?Stand Down!" In a contest over a will a certain wit ness was giving his evidence as to the disposition of the testator. ," Was he, a good-natured man?" asked the attorney. .," Not altogether." Was he cross, then?" - "Well; yes, rather'vin places." "Was he very cross?" :" Considerably." ft How cross was he? Give us an ex ample of his disposition." "Well, sir, he was that'cross that when ho called up the cows at niilking time it made the milk ?our." "That's enough I Stand down 1"?J Merchant- Traveler. ITIlKtakcn Identity. A farmer, living a few miles from Aus tin, whose wife was troubled with an aching tooth, decided to come in town with her for the purpose of having it ex tracted. The pair took a seat in the cars, and soon after the train started the farmer walked forward into the smoking car, telling his wife he would be back di rectly. While her husband was absent tne conductor came leisurely along, ticket punch in hand, and approaching the old lady, reached over for-her ticket, whereupon the victim of the toothache opened her mouth and taught him, say ing: "You needn't mind giving me chloro form, doctor; just pull it right out, any how. I can stand it, and when John comes back he'll settle with* yer."?8ift inys. Rnletf for the limekiln Clul>. Judge Chewso arose to ask .for infor mation. He wanted to know how strong the fraternal ties of such a club could be considered. How far was he obligated? ' "Brother Chewso," replied the presi dent, " I will read de follerin' fur your benefit: ?" 1. All meet heah on terms of equal ity, hut de member who blacks stoves an' saws wood am not.'spected to be so fajniliar as to ask de barber airnin' $17 per week to lend him his toof-pick. "2. Lf you find a brudder in distress, aid .him. Daram.no pertickler objec shun to takin' a mortgage on his stove in case he wants to borfoy fo' dollars'in cash, butjjive him a leetle show befo' fo'closin'. ("3. Excuse a brudder's faults as fur as you kin, Iiut^u[tet| he has.spit on your butes about tnWsBBhes you kin conclude dat he aches to be licked. "4. Speak well of each odder; avoid wrangles an' slander; be ready to give good advice; encourage sobriety and in dustry, but doan' let a man kick yer dog simply because he sits on de stool nex' you in Paradise Hall."?Detroit Free Press. Saved Himself by Cutting Off a Limb. If there was anything Father Boggles really delighted in, it was to spin a yarn about the sharpness of . his boy Tom. "Ah," said Boggles one day, as he had fairly fixed his auditor, "Tom is the most remarkable boy ever set your eyes on. He's like his old dad: you can no more sarcumvent him than you can catch a wcesel asleep. You recollect thai choice apple-tree by the hedge? Wed, I forbid Tom touchin' those apples; but he would get 'em in spite of me. One day I caught the young scapegrace up in the tree stuffin' his pockets with the fruit, and I determined this time to punish him for it. "?Thomas, my son,' says I, 'come down.' I thought I'd be a sort of per suasive, so it would fetch him; but he smelt a rat and didn't budge an inch. " 'Ican't, dad,' says ho, 'these apples are in the way.' "'Tom,' 1 continued, sternly, 'come down this minit', or I'll cut down the tree, and let yer fall.' " You see my poor limbs wouldn't per mit my shinnin' after the boy. " ' Oh, no, you won't, dad,' says Tom. ' Only think how you'd mourn if you couldn't sell the apples.' "That was too much to have my own boy accuse me of such parsimony. So what does I do but get an ax, and cut away at the bottom of the tree. " 'Tom?Thomas,' I cried, as the tree was about half cut off. ' will you come down now, and save yourself?" "'Never mind, dad,' said he, 'I'm all right. "It was no use! I couldn't bring him dowu that nay. So I chopped away at the tree till it began to sway, and fell to the ground." "What! and crushed your own boy?" ejaculated his horrified listeners. "Not by a long chalk," said old Bog gles, winking knowingly. " You couldn't get over Tom in any such way. What had he done but crawled out on a limb; and while 1 was choppin' at the bottom o' the tree he had been cutting off the limb with his jack-knife, and when the tree fell he was still up there on the limb!" Rupert'* Itequcnt. "Come hither. Beryl." Stuyvcsant Nutwood spoke in kindly tones to his daughter, and yet the frirl noticed, or imagined that she did, a slight trcnW in his voice, but, thinking it was due to the involuntary loosening of his false teeth, give the matter no further attention. She crossed the room to where her father was sitting in his great arm chair beside the window. Beryl had grown up on her father's farm almost without society, but not with out education, for every year she had at tended the seminary at Acornville, and in her eighteenth year had graduated ?with all the honors and a percale dress. And then she had gone back to the farm again, but somehow her life there was not as satisfactory as before. There were times when Beryl felt a sense of ennui mixed with an indefinite feeling of rest lessness that would cause her to wander aimlessly around the place in a reverie until recalled to the things of this world by stepping on her ankle. But though she strove to conceal, even from herself, the real cause of this feeling, her heart would ever and anon give a great throb as she thought of Rupert Hollingsworth, who was now a struggling lawyer in a Western town. There had been no word* of love between them, but on the da-f Rupert graduated they had met for the last time, and. standing beneath the shade of a grand old oak that guarded the en trance to the college campus, Rupert had taken Beryl's hand in his and saiu to her, while his dark brown eyes seemed look ing into her very souf: "You will not forget me entirely, Miss Stuyvesant?." "I shall never forget you,"she:jeplied, with grave earnestness, "as. long as I live." He had once stepped on her toes. When Beryl had crossed the room her father motioned her to a seat by his side, and as she cuddled up cosily on a has sock and, placing ner arms upon her NO.44 knees, looked up in his face with a won> dering expression in her great blue eyes, Stuyvesant Nutwood felt a great thrill of sorrow in the knowledge- that one day this beautiful girl, with all her wealth of love and bandoline, would leave him for ever. ? * '.'I have received a letter from Rupert Hoilingsworth, Beryl," he said. - .'The girl gave a sudden start, and a wave of crimson swept over the j pure, sweet face, but she did not speak. "Caa you not guess," he ot?ntinned, "what the purport of his letter ia?";' , Beryl could no longer look in her father's face. She knew full well why Rupert Hollingsworth had written. He had gone away only twoyears be fore, in all the vigor of his glad man hood, and his splendid talents had gained for him success where others had failed. And now, crowned with the ? laurel wreath" of victory, he had written to her father for permission to urge his suit with her. I She knew all this full well, and yet 'when her father asked .her the question, to which her heart had already given answer, sho did not reply. ffYou could never guess, little one," said Stuyvesant Nutwood, a merry twinkle in his eyes, "why Rupert has written. Do you think you could?" VA deeper blush overspread the pre tty face. "But I will tell you," he continued, "because you two were at college to gether. Still, perhaps I had better be silent"?and again the laughing light came into her father's eyes. "Tell me, papa, " whispered Beryl, no longer able to conceal her eagerness, "why he has written." "He wants something," was the reply. "Can you not guess what it is?" Every fiber of Beryl's being is throb bing with expectancy now. The sun has passed from sight, and great bands of ,rosy light that stream up from below the horizon's rim cost a strange halo over the silont earth. Beryl feels the solemn in fluence's of the twilight hour, bht no word comes from her lips. "Can you not guess," repeats her father, "what Rupert Hollingsworth desires?" For an instant she docs not reply. To answer the question' in the affirmative would seem bold and forward, .and yet-; can she deny, even to herself, a 'knowl edge of what Rupert desires? So she simply says to Jier father: "Tell mo what he wants." Bending tenderly over his daughter, Stuyvesant Nutwood whispers, with in finite pathos in her ear: "Twenty-five dollars to get home with."?Ghicagt Tribune. A Chinese Quack Doctor. A quack medicine-dealer was offering to a crowd nostrums for every complaint, says a correspondent in a letter' from Hong Kong. This gentleman whose stock-in-trade consisted of a few bottles, had a number of diagrams purporting to represent the course of illnesses in the ?human body. As a matter of fact, they - were absolute nonsense, but the good Chinese who stood with open mouths around him and listened with wonder, to, all he said knew no better, so that for all practical purposes his pictures were good enough. Curiously enough, however, he' wae most eloquent upon a medicine which I have since found has juat made its appearance in England under n patented name?namely, Menthol. He declared it would cure all nervous diseases if rubbed into the skin. Our chemists and druggists now advertise it as an antidote to neuralgia; so that, after all, the Chinese quack doctor was not such a rogue as he looked. The price of his drugs was high. He had nothing under two-pence, v.-hich is a large sum among \ the peasants in China. But he sold great numbers of packets and did a roar ing trade for hours. I had presently an opportunity of seeing how little difference existed between him and the recognized professors of Chinese medicine, being taken by the learned Dr. Eitler to a native hospital. Here, seated on three little stools at three tables, sat the "faculty" waiting for patients. The indigent crowd as it came in selected its own physician and went to him. Then ensued a species of treatment which was about as curious as can well be imagined. The Chinese have a ! theory that there is a different pulse in j every limb. They also hold that all j complaints are connected with either ! fire, air or water. And they place im ! mense faith in the benefit to be derived from puncturing any affected part with a long needle. So it came about that when a man entered and consulted one of the "faculty" about a pain in his leg ?probably rheumatic in its nature?the learned man, after glaring at him for some time through an enormous pair of goggles, proceeded to feel for his "ankle pulse," which when found to his satisfaction indicated some very won derful facts. The man was suffering, . he remarked, from "fire" in the leg, and must be punctured; saying which he stirred up the limb with a ?long nee dle, till I, who looked on only, felt posi tively ill. This operation completed, he i produced a ticy plaster, probably an inch j and a half square, and giving it to the man told him to put it on the leg at night. The patient, who seemed to have perfect confidence in the doctor, hobbled 1 off, and the turn of the next victim then I came. He had a pain in the head, prob* I ably having smoked too much opium or I drank too much samtschu. The doctor i was quite equal to the occasion. He seized his victim by the head, and taking \ small iron rod proceeded to rub his neck till he made an abrasion at least nn inch square. Then he rubbed at another spot, and yet another, till the skin was off in three places. This was all. The patient was told to go. He, too, was suffering from "fire." Yet there was no sound of a murmur. The operator cvi | dently was considered a very clever per son. Inside the hospival the wards seemed j to be in excellent condition. The patients : there might have gone to a European I hospital had they so chosen; but they preferred the doctoring of their own I people, who, from all 1 heard, are cer ' tainly very clever at putting fractures or j dislocations right. I went into the ! pharmacy and found the medicines were nearly all vegetable?one, the rind of oranges, being in great request. But everything seemed harmless enough; and if the pntients die I should say they are j killed by the disease and not by the doc | tors, which is more than can be averred j of every English hospital. One thing I : noted, however, and it was that the j notions of anatomy were very vague at I this place of healing, for all the diagrams I saw were woefully wrong, and could not have existed an hour had the Chinese j surgeons ever examined a dead subject A Queer Russian Boat A novel Russian boat is a peculiar form of boat similar to the catamaran. It consists of two independent hulls, in the center of each of which is an open ing in which the traveler thrusts his feet. When standing he propels himself by the aid of a long two-bladed paddle, and regulates the distance between the two boats by manipulating the ropes which lead from each bow to the middle of the puddle. When tired he brings the boats alongside one another, places the cross bars in position, elevates his umbrella for a sail, and thus skims swiftly over the water. The general understanding is tfhat a pa tient is not out of danger until the doc tor has been discharged.? Picayune. f imw nut jSmotxd. SPECIAL REQUESTS'*-. 1. All chancres in advertisements musf reach us on* Friday. 2. In wTilias to this office on business a'wnys give your flame a**l postoffice ad dre-w. 15. Articles for publica'" ./a should be vrtHf ten in a clear, legible hand, and on oaTf' side of the page. 4. Bnrinsss letters and comran/wataonr to be published should bo written on aejmraW sheets, and the object of each clearly in dicated by necessary note wheJl roqeixeo. JOB F!RLlSrrilSGr DUNE WITH NEATNESS AND DISPATCH TERMS CASH. PUMPKIN WKS, Gentle stranger, lot me ant, ? ? Did you ever stop to bask In the atmosphere of cooking, * When a 'maiden fair 1? looking, Askancely from the depths' Of her limpid, azure eyes?' As she shoves in the big oven Those delicious pumpkin piearf , Ah, what ecstacies appealing As aromas gently stealing, Permeate the rural kitchen Whose confines hold a fair witch in, Fascinating, dainty, rare", To intoxicated eyes 1 Tis the maiden, tier laden, Manipulator of the ptos. Pumpkin pies 1 What nie?JGrtss rise. Even to the sunny skies, "As she-opens to your'eyes The big oven she did shove In Those delicious pumpkin piea. - Golden orbs of lusdooe glory t Never had the world a rtory Fafrer to the heart of many Ay! to In arts of mortal clan. Than the manuscript in yellow Hot and toothsome 'ncath your oyeat And I fain would long to spelL oh,- ' Worldly bliss?in pumpkin piek . Quarter, half, the whole, oh, give it! T could dwell in bliss and live it In ah hour such as this, Ah, forevennpre, I wie? Sitting in the pleasant kftefcon Whose confines hold a fair1 witch in, . Fascinating, dainty, rare, Askancely glancing from her eyas, . ? At me, over pumpkin pies. ?H. S. Keller, in Detroit Free Press. . PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS. A flourishing genius?The writing-roae 'terr'' -. ? . , ' The dog has queer taste in matters dress. He wears -his pants mouth. ^IfiS A Brooklyn landlady calledher boarder ? ?Phoenix" "because he rises from the hashes and files. ? > Herbert Spencer's works ^ic appearing in Japanese. We thought we nad no ticed little extracts, of then? on tea chests.. ?Biftinga.. Gflprfc reading in a paper that ?'facto are stubborn things,?.. says there's no particle of doubt but that hj8 wife is ? - fact.?Marathon Indepmde.xt! "Overcome by gas" is the he^wU&r*-. on a daily paper. . tjFe.koow. those tre mendcjus gas- bills* ?reouldlrill -somebody sooner-or later.?-Boiton Bullet w. ?- Whemasked wh>t she hai for dinnerP she replied "cold tongue?' And ha j judged, by her'matfner, (hat there would, be some of it left for supper.?Chicago Bun. ? . "For the noblest man tliat lives there*j still remains a conflict," sighed the phi-1 lospher, as ho rolled*up hie sleeves pre paratory to carving a boarding-hbutw chicken. ...They.thought they heard burglars the house last week, and in 'going down stairs to investigate, Bibbs said to his wife: "You go first; it's a mean man that would shoot a woman."?Boston Budget. Probably the meanest thing that a man ever said was uttered by Fogg "to day. Being asked his idea of the best remedy for polygamy, he promptly re plied, "Mrs. Fogg."?Boston Transcript, " Is this your dog, John ?" " No; ho belongs to 'Squire Smith. And between you and me he's a deal smarter than his owner." "Yes; there are dogs of that sort. I have had several myself."-^ Harper's Bazar. As a part of the marriage ceremony in Servia, the bride has to hold a piece, of sugar between her lips as a rign that she will speak little and sweetly during her married life. The sugar soon melts away. ?Courier-Journal. "The surest way to tako cold, said a distinguished physician, in to "hug the stove." Young men who go a courting on Sunday nights should remember,thi" and not spend all their time hugging the stove.?Philadelphia Call. A Yankee has invented a new pro cess for lasting boots and shoes. If he can last a ten-year-old boy's shoes so that they will last two weeks without re quiring half-soling he should open a branch office in this town.?Horristoum Herald. Matthew Arnold doesn't like para graphs, and says American newspapers have a fragmentary look to him. After the American newspapers get through with Matthew, he will have a fragmen tary look to his English friends.?Mer cliant- Traveler. "Oh, will he bite?" exclaimed one of Middletown's sweetest girls, with a look of alarm, when she saw one of the danc* ing bears on the street the other day. "No," said her escort, "he cannot bite? he is muzzled; but he can hug." "Oh," she said, with a distracting smile, "I don't mind that."?Muldletoum Trans cript. ONLY ONE. Said the rohber, "No family jewel1*?xioaet" " None," ta;d a fearless la'ly, "but one? ' A carbuncle?the setting a fortune cost But 'tis well secured and cannot be lost" " Quick! hand me the jewel, or else you shall die," Said the robber, with fiercely flashing eye. "I can't," said the lady, with smiling repose? "The carbuncle's fast?on my husband'i nose." ?fiie Judge. Americans are good listeners, says the New York World. Of course they are, and this habit of listening is encouraged by the fact that the dividing walls of houses are nowadays built so thin that by putting your ear to the wall you can hear what the couple in the next house say when they are lighting with oach other. ?Ph Had elph ia Ch ron irle. "I have a strong following," remarked the burglar, as he shot down the alley just ahead of a detective, two policemen, a constable, and a dozen stray citizens, 'and I think if I can get out of town ahead of my ticket I'm all right in the country." And so he was, for he ran into a barbed wire fence at the corpora tion limit and they counted him in.? Haickeye. THE EDITOR AND IUS DAUGHTER. Unto her pa, with face serene, Said one of Gotham's fairest daughters: " What does this old expression mean? This ' casting brtad upon the watersr " Her father, with a soft (areas, Replied, with earnestness sui-prislng: " My dear, 'tis nothing more nor less Than mo*t judicious advertising." ?Sew York Journal i Throw np Yonr Chin, y The whole -secret of standing and walking erect consists in keeping the chin well away from your breast. This throws the head upward and backward, and the shoulders will naturally settle backward and in their true position. Those who stoop in walking generally look downward. The proper way is to look straight ahead, upon the same level with your eyes, or if you are inclined to stoop, until that tendency is overcome, look rather above than below the level. Mountaineers are said to be "as straight as an arrow," and the reason is becausa they are obliged to look upward eo much. It is simply impossible to stoop in walking if you will heed and practice this rule. You will notice that all round shouldered persons .carry the chin near the breast and pointed downward.