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The San Francisco call and post. (San Francisco, Calif.) 1913-1929, December 31, 1913, Image 4

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Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn86064451/1913-12-31/ed-1/seq-4/

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F. W. KELLOGG, President and Publisher
JOHN D. SPRECKELS, Vice President and Treasurer
Decidedly "Happy New Year"
for San Francisco
The Government Will Recognize Us, the Canal Will Benefit
Us, and the Rain Will Prosper Us
Tonight, when San Francisco shouts its adieus to the old year
1913, it will be waving farewell to a year which kept the state going
in good form; when it greets little 1914 it will welcome a year
which, as it is to carry on 1913's legacies, promises big.
1914 will establish officially and formally the financial emi
nence of San Francisco, with the establishment here of a regional
bank. Since the new currency law was passed earlier in the month,
providing for ten regional banks in financial centers of the country,
there has been no doubt but that San Francisco would have the
one instituted on the Pacific coast. Other cities have been clamor
ing for the bank; Seattle is to make a hard fight and may secure a
bank if two are placed on the western seaboard of the United
States. But, as is right, all other cities come after the metropolis
of the western slope. The bankers of Los Angeles, realizing the
superior claim of San Francisco and rising above petty municipal
rivalry, have indorsed the claim of San Francisco for recognition.
It is significant of the energy of Los Angeles that the bankers of
that city met to support San Francisco on the same afternoon that
the bankers of San Francisco assembled for the same but more
intimate purpose.
As to what effect on business or prosperity the location of a
regional bank will have no one yet knows, but the regional bank
cities are those places recognized by the government as the natural
centers of the regions in which they lie. There should be an at
tendant benefit to the cities in which they are placed.
San Francisco also has been selected as the place for a branch
office of the bureau of foreign and domestic commerce of the
United States department of commerce. The object of the bureau
is to keep merchants, importers and exporters in close touch with
trade conditions and trade possibilities in foreign lands. The es
tablishment of this bureau is to be one of the first fruits of the
opening of the Panama canal, for Washington realizes as keenly
as San Francisco does—or should—that the opening of the canal
will mean a new and extended commerce for this port.
Those two institutions—the regional bank and the branch
office of the commerce bureau—are Washington's promised con
tributions for 1914 to the importance of San Francisco.
There is also to be the practical opening of the Panama canal
to the commerce of the world, the practical completion of the Pan
ama-Pacific international exposition, which opens in less than 14
months—on February 20, 1915—and the practical benefits which
will come to California and San Francisco from the heavy rains
that are now general throughout the state.
It looks decidedly like HAPPY NEW YEAR.
Said Cuvier to the Devil: "You
Can't Eat Me; You're a
Then the Devil Quoted Scripture as He Often Does.
Christmas day is gone and is a memory. New Year is almost
here. One week of work between holidays and another year begins.
Many have wasted this week instead of DOING something.
The more fortunate will begin now TO GET THINGS GO
ING, realizing that he who does not END the year well can hardly
expect to BEGIN the year well.
Not what you are GOING to do, beginning tomorrow, but
what you do beginning TODAY is what counts.
The important thing is to keep your courage, throw oft fear,
realize that the real worker is never beaten—and not listen to
mournful predictions or disheartened talkers.
If you examine a situation closely—as Cuvier examined the
devil—you will find that there is always a way out.
Cuvier, the great naturalist, was one of the three most learned
men that have lived—Aristotle, Bacon and Cuvier make up OUR
list. What is your list?
Cuvier gave men facts in place of superstition. And the devil,
like certain other more or less religious characters, did not like that.
He did not want the people educated, because an educated man
does not believe in the devil—and not to be believed hurts the
devil's feelings and his profits.
One wild, stormy night Cuvier was putting the finishing touches
to his great work, "Regne animal distribue d'apres son organisa
tion." There came three claps of thunder, a strong smell of sul
phur, a dismal clanking of chains and the devil stood beside Cuvier,
at his desk.
Each looked at the other. Cuvier said to himself: "Here's
something not catalogued in my book."
The devil in a deep voice said: "I'm going to eat you."
YOU might have been frightened in Cuvier's place. WE might
have been frightened. But Cuvier was calm, for he could tell the
nature of an animal at a glance.
It was he who first told the world how to reconstruct an entire
extinct monster from a small piece of fossil bone.
He looked at the devil's head with horns on it.
He looked at the devil's feet with hoofs on them.
He laughed at the devil and said: "Horns! Hoofs! You be
long among the graminivorous mammalia, or, to make my words
fit your devilish ignorance, you're a vegetarian. You can't eat me."
Not a bad reply.
The devil, as usual, quoted Scripture, saying: "All flesh is
grass—l can eat you, even if I am a vegetarian." But he had lost
heart, and mumbling something about not being able to swallow
all the nonsense in Cuvier's head, he went back to tell the folks in
hell that he did not know what the world was coming to.
The devil did not get Cuvier that night. The great scientist,
honored by Napoleon, lived to be made a peer of France under the
Bourbons and died a happy, honored, glorious old man in 1832,
having lived to see the French revolution, the steam railroad train
and the steamboat.
Those who took the devil's view, that it is bad to teach the
people too much, said and preached that the devil DID get Cuvier
after Cuvier died—but many doubt it.
Look at your troubles calmly, fearlessly, intelligently, as old
Cuvier looked at the devil, and you will not be so badly frightened.
The hard times or hard luck that threatens to "eat you" often turns
out to be a vegetarian unable to eat anybody.
Do your work, keep at it. Make what you can, save part, help
others in a big or little way, finish THIS year well. Begin next
year courageously and with self-control.
All the devils of hard times, hard luck and high cost of living
won't get you. You'll be able to say, as Cuvier said: "You can't
eat me.''
Ship ahoy! California has a seagoing railroad commission.
* # #
Last week we all lived on turkey hash. This week it is corn
beef hash.
* # *
England doesn't want a military fort at the Panama canal. Please, O
king, may w« have a piano forte there to play when the British ships go
* • *
At a cosmopolitan college gathering in lowa college yells were given
in 20 languages. We thought there was only one language in which they
were yelled—the language of "Oski Wow Wow."
* * *
The tango has been denounced as one of the "greatest moral dissol
vents of France." Paris, for instance, was so good before the tango was
discovered. i
* * *
The "bottle king" has decided to build a mansion in Washington that
will be an enlarged replica of the White House. But the "bottle king's"
place will have this advantage—it will be permanent, nonrefillable at the
end of four years.
"Miss Brown told me that you paid
her such a charming compliment the
other evening," said Mrs. Coddington
to her husband, "something about her
being pretty. The poor girl was so
pleased. I don't see how you men can
be so untruthful."
"I should think you'd know by this
time that I'm never untruthful," said
Mr. Coddington, reproachfully. "I
said she was just as pretty as she
could be, and so she was."
# * *
"Tou naughty, cruel boy." said the
very fashionably dressed young
woman, who was taking a stroll in
the park, to the urchin whom she
found despoiling a bird's nest. "How
can you be so heartless as to take
those eggs? Think of the poor
mother bird when she comes back
"That's all right, miss," interrupted,
Evening Calls
Footnotes of Humor
the boy; "the mother bird is dead."
The young woman's expression re
flected disbelief.
"How do you know?" she asked
" 'Cos I sees 'er on your 'at," was
the reply.
* * #
Old Fraud — "And after floating
about on the spar for three whole
days, I was finally washed ashore,
Gent (unimpressed)—"Ah, and It
wouldn't hurt you to be washed
ashore again, either."
* * ♦
In spite of his well known poor
marksmanship, a certain Englishman
was invited to the country for a
day's shooting. The attendant in
great distress witnessed miss after
"Dear me," at last exclaimed the
Turkey is to buy a Brazil dreadnaught. Wouldn't a little adhesive
plaster better repair its map?
* * ■»
Attorneys for a bankrupt estate in New York received a fee of $52,000.
Was the bankruptcy before or after the lawyers arrived?
* * *
A man in Indiana has worn the same pair of shoes for 36 years.
They must have been made to, as well as on a, last
* # #
They are to have turkeys on exhibition at the poultry show. How can
that be, at this time of the year?
* * *
An eastern poultry fancier is making chickens grow faster under
electric light. That's the light they usually flourish under.
* * #
The American battleships are to be painted a sable color. Here's
where we copyright a phrase: "The American black faced troupe."
* # *
Maybe you can buy cheaper clothes on the upper floors of a building,
but the altitude of a lawyer's office has no diminishing effect on the fees
he charges-
sportsman, "but the birds seem ex
ceptionally strong on the wing this
"Not all of 'em, sir," came the re
mark. You've shot at the same bird
this last dozen times. 'El following
you about, sir."
"Why?" asked the sportsman.
"I dunno, sir, I'm sure," replied the
man, "unless 'c's 'anqing round for
* # #
Are we to hold ragtime revues and
other hustling forms of entertain
ment responsible for the following
A music hall artist who used to
tour the provinces with a flock of
performing ducks found managers no
longer willing to book his sedate
show. After he had been resting for
some time he received a telegram
asking him to open on the following
Monday at a variety theater In the
north of England. In reply he wired:
"Regret can not come. Have eaten
the act."
* # *
An army chaplain came across a
baggage column with a wagon stuck
"Men. I see you are in difficulties."
he said. "Can I be of any assistance?"
"Yes, sir," exclaimed one of the
drivers, "by making yourself scarce.
You see, we can't very well say to the
horses what they'd understand while
you're about!"
# ♦ *
Doctor—"l hope you are following
my instructions carefully Sandy—the
pills three times a day, and a drop of
whisky at bedtime."
Sandy—"Weel, sir, I may be a wee
bit behind wi' the pills, but I'm aboot
six weeks In front wi' the whusky."
Question Again Arises
Whether the Pithecan
thropus of Java Was
a Man or a Monkey,
or a Being Interme
diate Between Them
THE problem of the famous
ape man of Java, the "pith
ecanthropus c rectus," is
again under discussion by the
paleonthologists (students of an
cient life), and they stiil are un
able to agree whether this mys
terious creature was a kind of
primitive human being or only
an extraordinary specimen of the
ape tribe who happened to be
born with a big head.
A French writer has put the
actual situation among the learn
ed men in a few words: "For
some the pithecanthropus is a
man; for others he is a monkey;
for others still he is an animal
imtermedi.ary between man and
The average reader may say to
himself that he doesn't care what
the pithecanthropus was. Bother
the pithecanthropus! But that
would be a very unintelligent at
titude to assume. We have ar
rived at a period of intellectual
development when what is called
prehistory has as great (if not
greater) importance for us as
history itself.
The Pithecanthropus, if
in Ancestral Line, Is
If the pithecanthropus really
belongs in our ancestral line ha
is as interesting a figure as the
remote past contains. We see
him, with his big bushy head,
his crooked legs, his bent back,
his long arms, away back there
close to the point where the
paths divided which led in one
• • •
direction to the cities of men
and the wonders of the mind,
and in the other direction to the
tropical forests and the haunts
of climbing creatures to whom
nature gave, as in mockery, hu
man masks hiding only brute
He stands there the most an
cient, the most distant, of the
creatures which felt the impulse
of awakening humanity. He is
almost at the bottom of the long
hill. He is striking into the nar
row path which leads continual
ly upward. Around him are
other beings to whom the same
opportunity came, who were led
to the beginning of the same
straight, mounting way, but who
turned aside, leaving him to pur
sue alone his pilgrimage.
It is a curious and significant
fact that after the discovery of
the remains of the pithecan
thropus in 1892 an anthropolo
gist undertook to reconstruct,
upon anatomical principles, the
missing jaw (for nothing of the
head was found except the top
of the skull and a few scattered
teeth), and several years later
THE earth seems sad, the skies are gray
When Mother weeps.
Her tears, they blind the light of day,
The sun has not one beaming ray
_ When Mother weeps.
When Mother weeps I feel sad, too.
When Mother weeps
All things are wrong; spoiled is the view
And everything about looks blue
When Mother weeps.
A Mother's tears—how much they-mean!
When Mother weeps
My heart is touched, no joy I glean.
Each boy must feel the same, I ween,
When Mother weeps.
As each tear falls all joy is slain
When Mother weeps.
Those tears that fall like dewy rain—
For peeling onions causes painl
So Mother weeps 1
Curious Facts
When a Siamese girl attains the
age of 35 without marrying she is la
beled and placed in a privileged class
under the special care of the king,
who binds himself to find a husband
for her. His method is delightfully
simple. A prisoner in any one of the
Siamese Jails may gain his pardon
and release by marrying one of the
mature maidens. Whether he is al
ready married or not Is of no great
consequence, for in Slam a man is not
restricted to one wife.
The largest estate in tho United
Kingdom is that belonging to the
duke of Sutherland, which extends to
759.200 acres.
Henry Ellonsky. a well known
American long distance swimmer, has
Just succeeded in swimming from
Brooklyn bridge to Bay Ridge, a dis- j
there was discovered at Mauer,
in Germany, a human jaw pre
cisely corresponding with that
which the anthropologist had at
tributed to the pithecanthropus.
To which must be added the
fact that the best authorities
assign to "the man of Mauer"
an antiquity corresponding with
that which has generally been
assigned to the pithecanthropus.
At the same time there are
authorities who deny to the
pithecanthropus a place in the
line of human descent. Among
these is Professor Boule of
Paris, who thinks it probable
that the pithecanthropus was a
species of giant monkey, allied
to the gibbons, and superior to
its congeners not only in stature
but also in size of skull, in
which it approaches the lower
limit for man.
There may have been a group
of these overgrown gibbons de
veloped in Java, thinks Professor
Boule, and they may have been
driven into extinction by virtue
of the very fact that they were
not physically developed in ac
cord with their environment.
Professor Boule himself ad
mits that there are resemblances
to the human type in the pithe
canthropus, and that its skull
seems to have been intermedi
ate in form between that of the
monkey and that of man. but
he denies that such resemblances
and correspondences necessarily
proves a real ancestral relation
But even if this view of the
Paris anthropologist be admitted
as probably correct it hardly at
all diminishes the interest of
pithecanthropus, because it only
reveals in that creature a being
which certainly made a start to
ward human evolution, though
it may never hare Taifiy entered
upon the path.
Type Serves to Show
How Difficult Was the
It serves to show how difficult
was th* work of developing man
out of a lower animal type. Na
ture had. apparently, to try again
and again, with that patience and
that contempt of expense which
she always exhibits, and at last
she succeeded.
So, whether the pithecanthro
pus was a primitive man, carry
ing locked up in him all the won
derful possibilities of evolution
which that state of being would
imply, or whether he was only
an aspiring ape who could not
make good his hold on a higher
level of existence, we must read
about him and the controversies
he cites with equal interest
tance of about four miles, with hands
and feet tied, towing a boat in which
were seven men. The total weight of
the boat and its occupants was 1,363
pounds. The swimmer was three houra
and ten minutes In the water.
Five years ago a bachelors' club
was founded in Severance, Colo., with
20 members, but the club has Just
been disbanded, owing to the fact
that all the members are, or are about
to be married, and, according to the
rules, are no longer eligible for mem
Three-tenths of the earnings of a
Belgian convict are given to him on
the expiration of his term of Impris
According to the most expert stat
isticians the Atlantic ocean has an
are* of 24,536,000 square miles.

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