The Madisonian., June 10, 1913, Image 6

About The Madisonian. (Richmond, Ky.) 1913-1914

Image provided by: University of Kentucky, Lexington, KY

                
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JOE
CAUSE FOR DISGUST.
The christening party consisted of
the proud father, the baby a girl i
tho grandfather and the . rest of the
folks.,; The grandfather stood nearest
the priest during the ceremony. ;
"What's the child's name?" asked
the priest of the grandfather at the
, appropriate moment. '.;'.
"I dunno," the grandfather replied.
And he turned to the father and whis
pered hoarsely: "What's its, name?"
"Hazel," replied the father. .
, "What?" asked the grandfather.
"Hazel," repeated the father.
The grandfather threw up his hands
In disgust. . . . - j ''.
. "What d'ye think av that?? he ask
ed the priest. "With the calendar av
- the saints full av gur-rl names an'
hlm-aamin' his after a nut!" Satur
day Evening Post.
His Willing Tribute.
"Judge, we: are getting up a little
book, to be made up, for the most part,
of voluntary testimonials from dis
tinguished citizens who honor us by
carrying their life insurance5 In our
company. . We shall be very glad to
lave one from you. Would you mind
telling me in a few words how you
came to insure with us?"
"Not at all, sir. Your agent was
hounding me nearly to death. For six
weeks he had made my life a burden.
I .gave him my application for life in
surance just to get rid of him." .
GREAT FAVOR.
Mrs. Fasmer-lf I give you a meal
what will you do for me?
- Weary Willie Well; mum, 111 let
you name de baby after me!
Tragedies Told in Headlines.
"Husband Tries to Wash Dinner
Dishes; Smashes $47 Worth of China."
- "Candidate for Initiation Thinks Cer
emony Too Rough; He Makes a Wreck
of Lodge Room."
"Ballplayer Whose Sweetheart Is
Watching Him From Grand Stand Be
comes Nervous; Loses Game."
"Gay Lothario Weds in Haste; Finds
He Has Married Widow With : Seven
Children." '
"Man Who Has ' Sworn Off From
Smoking Wins Six Boxes of Cigars at
Raffle."
Investigating for Himself. .
It was in the suburbs.
"Sir, why are you climbing all these
trees?"
"Well, I'm a retired business man.
Just retired."
"Yes."
"Been , reading poetry all my life
and taking their statements on trust
I don't like to take anything, on trust.
Poets have always given me to under
stand that there are no birds in .last
year's nests. Now I'm climbing a few
trees to ascertain if this statement is
strictly true." - .
JUST REWARD.
Weary Willie Dat's de worst pie I
ever tasted. ' ."
Mrs. Jones Wait just a minute and
I'll give you a dollar. That pie was
baked by my husband's mother. .
A Second Edison.
Farmer Yes, sir, that hired man of
mine Is one of the greatest inventors
of the century.," . ' ' ' t r -
City Boarder You don't say ! What
did he Invent? "V ' " ; '
; Farmer Petrified motion. Judgel ,
j ' 'Bifat Sea. . . ' .
i Mrs. 4 Jokesmlth (giving ! hubby a
tip) You might write something witty
about the boat shaped hats women are
wearing this season.
Jokesmlth I guess I won't put my
oar in. '"'-
5
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HOT ONE.
The Chap Your refusal of me has
broken my heart. "
The Heiress I'm truly sorry.' Is
there nothing I can do except marry
you? " .
The Chap No, but if you could lend
me a couple of hundred thousand I
might feel that I had only "half lost
you. ''
In London.
My lady' beckoned to the, butler. ,
"Dobson," she said in a half whisper
as he bent to catch her commands, "I
wish you would take particular pains
to see that Mrs. Busby-Burnem at the
far end of the table gets an ample
helping of everything. Make it a dou
ble helping if necessary, Dobson. She
8,eems to have an extraordinary appe
tite." The butler nodded.
"Yes, me lady." He bent a little
lower. "I'm told, me lady, that she's
preparing for quite a stay in jail."
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
' Mother Talks Plainly.
"Daughter, I want you to be nice to
that young drugisist. He will make
you a good husband."
"He isn't the kind of man I want
to marry."
. "I know the kind you want to mar
ry," retorted the mother, picking up a
paper-backed novel. "You want to
marry either a duke or a gentleman
Raffles, but there are none in your
set. Now yoa look at that young
druggist with kindly eyes."
And daughter subsequently did.
Who's Who and Why.
"Who's that impressive looking
woman over yonder?"
"That's Mrs. Peckum. She's a re
markably strong-minded woman, and
they do say that she commands a very
large salary."
'How does she earn it?"
"She doesn't earn it. Her husband
earns it and so she commands it"
Puck.
IN THE GALLERY.
He These are ray ancestors.
She Are they all dead ? ,
He Why, certainly. -She
How fortunate. "r
f ' Taking No Chances. ;.
Genial Squires-Many happy re
turns, William. . I was just going to
call on you with-. 'a little bit of to
bacco. ';
William (aged - eighty) Thank ye
kindly, sir, but I be done wl' smokln'.
! Genial Squire Why, how's that?
William Well, I've heard that be
tween eighty and ninety is a ticklish
part of, a man's life, so I be- takin
no chances. London Punch.
Endlesa Fight. ;
"My old barber has left the city."
"You seem veryegretful."
"Yeej he's been trying to sell me a
bottle of hair tonic for the past fifteen
years and so far 1 had succeeded in
standing him off. ' Now I shall have to
start the battle all over with a new
man.'! - :
, Value of the Lingo.
"Learn to speak French. Then
things won't cost so much in Paris."
"Oh, you can't make 'em think you
are a Frenchman." '
"No; but sometimes you can make
'em think you are a : Russian or a
Spaniard.' :
Occasional; Visitors.
- A notable housekeeper-of the last
generation, '.'before 'the" days 'of screens,
had just' announced that she never
had any flies: ' , ". ''' ,: -y"
"But, Aunt Augusta," faltered .the
timid visitor, "it s(ns to ine that I
saw a: few in the dining-room." i
"Oh, those," replied her aunt, with
a majestic wave of. the - hand, "were
the . neighbors' fliea. ; They come in
occasionally. But, ? as I was saying,
we never, have any of oar own."
Youth's Companion.;
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CRITICS EUEfi: POSY
Seems That None Can ; Escape
Misunderstanding of Actions,
: Even When Most Worthy.
It would seem that no man can be
anything or d( anything without being
made a target to be shot at, if not shot
to pieces, by somebody This editor,
was once a presiding elder. .He found
that the most sincere and honest and
earnest effort in that office did not
save, him" from' the' suspicions of some
and the direct.- charges of others. He
found that a few men for ..whom he en
dured most, in an effort to do for them,
thought that he had abandoned, them
and crucified them. He . found . that
some laymen,' members of quarterly
conferences, would impress the pastor
with the notion that they were anxious
for his return to a-charge and would
at the same time load the pastor with
complaints made to the presiding el
der.; He found that such a pastor
thought, the presiding elder full of the
"Insolence of .office" and loaded down
with a sense of importance on account
of a little ."brief authority."
T:l presiding elder Is now an editor.
He was told.cn taking charge of the
columns of a paper that an editor is a
public target. He has come to know
that. He has found that the men for
whom he has really tried to do most
are the men who are quickest and sur
est to shoot hiii hide full of holes. He
has found that his motives are often
questioned. He has found that some
are quick to. attribute sinister motives
to him. He has found that others are
ready- to accuse him of systematic
neglect of them and their work.
Cannot Escape Criticism.
Justice Holmes of the Supreme court
of the United States recently made a
speech in New York. . That speech has
given this editor no small comfort. We
had supposed that nobody impugned
the motives of the Supreme court. But
It seems that the only way any man
can escape criticism is to go off and
hide himself, be nothing at all, do
nothing at all. Here is the paragraph
of Justice Holmes' speech which gives
us comfort: v
"Of course we are not excepted," he
Bald, referring to the Supreme court.
"Not only are we told that when Mar
shall pronounced an act. of congress
unconstitutional he usurped a power
that the Constitution did not give, but
we are told we are the representatives
of a class, a tool of the money power.
I get letters, not always anonymous,
intimating that we are corrupt -."Well,
gentlemen, I admit that it
makes my heart ache. It Ib very pain
ful when one spends all the' energies
of one's soul in trying to do good work
with no thought but that of solving a
problem according to the rules by
which one is bound to know that many
see sisister motives and would be glad
of evidence that one was conscientious
ly bad. . But we must take such things
philosophically and try to see what we
can learn from hatred and . distrust,
and whether behind them there may
not be Borne ' germ of inarticulate
truth." Western Methodist. .
, Where to Look.
What Christ is, constitutes the safe
ty, life, power, and joy of every sur-.
rendered believer. We cannot too con
stantly or too completely hold to this
simple truth. The child rests in com
pletely, helpless and. completely trust
ing dependence upon the parent. But
more completely still does Christ's own
being constitute " all our life- and
strength and hope and safety and hap
pindss. Therefore, if we yield wholly
to him, we may always find all our
assurance . in him. . To "remember
Jesus Christ", in this way is all that is
needed for . our, daily guidance, and
strength, and peace, and accomplish
ment. .The Psalmist knew God in the
same way when he sang, "Be glad in
Jehovah." V'Rejoice in Jehovah." . "I
will bless Jehovah at all times, " "Let
all those that seek thee rejoice and be
glad in thee," "Jehovah be magnified,"
"God Ip our refuge and strength." As
we thus face God In Christ and fix our
whole heart and sout and spirit upon
what he is, there is no room left for
fear or unsettling thoughts about our
selves, or for anxiety In any direction.
When we let Christ become the real
focus of, ; our trusting ' gaze, we are
safe, and we are satisfied.
For Others.
The selfish spirit is utterly at var
iance with the epirit and the mind of
Christ. Every msji for somebody else,
is the battle cry of - the Lord's hosts.
"Go ye into all the world and preach
my gospel to every creature," is ex
pressive of the divine intentions con
cerning the spirit and attitude of his
children toward mankind without, ev
ery where By the law of nature and
the - law of the government of God,
every man is debtor to the other man.
It is a' serious, thing to be charged
with eternal responsibility for ; the
other man. Evtnry one either helps
or hinders the ; other one. What if
one be found, a,: stumbling-block in
stead of a light-bearer, a teacher and
guide for the other man?
Life Abundant.
Easter means life, new. life" life
abundant, not some time in the future,
but here and now. It means the con
quest and growth over decay, of beau
ty and fertility over barren bleakness,
xf life over death. The present hope
of -which the bursting buds of. spring
time is a symbol, brings immortality
close, and. makes today, with Its little
round of datis ti part of the eternal.
It, connects life , here , and now with
the glorious perfected life beyond,
making each a part of God's supremt
gift. .; ' -' ; ': ; .-' - .
TOOLS FOR- A GARDEN
Implements Are Demanded for
Proper Cultivation. ;
Old-Fashioned Hoe and Rake Will Not
Supply All the Needs' of the Up-to-y
Date Gardener Some .Good
' Ones Are Illustrated.
' (By C. S. MILLER.)
; The growing of vegetables and fruit
has become , so Important - that im
proved ; tools are "now demanded for
proper cultivation. In order to get
the very best results cultivation must
be carried to the limit and 'the old
fashioned hoe and rake will not sup
ply all the needs of the up-to-date
gardener. - . .. '. r
: Those shown in the accompanying
picture are all extremely useful, and
as they cost but a trifle nobody who
expects to do the best work in a gar
den can afford to be without them.
No. 1 is the hoe, and is remarkable
for the great number of uses to which
it can be put in both field and garden.
No. 2 is especially useful for cover
ing seeds and for heavy weeding.
No. 3 is a combined hoe and rake
and enables the operator to do either
hoeing or raking without laying aside
one tool and taking up the other.
. No. 4 is a hand weeder to scratch
weeds out of flower beds and jots.
No. 5 is one of the most useful tools
that can be used. It is extremely
Improved Garden Tools.
useful, not only in spading, but in
cutting out weeds close to large plants
and trimming walks and beds.
No. 6 Is a handy litttle tool about
the flower bed. You can transplant,
pulverize and mix earth preparatory
to planting, loosen the earth about
plants and do numerous other things
with it . ...
LESS WORK FOR HOUSEWIFE
Introduction of Modern Engine
Thresher Take Many Burden .
From Shoulder of Women.
The work of the farm housewife
has been greatly lessened by the use
of engine threshers. Formerly when
farmers went about from one farm to
another, helping each other to thresh
the grain, the farm-wife" was, com
pelled to cook for gangs of men, often
for days at a time, and with seldom
sufficient help, her lot was indeed a
hard one. Now, the owner of an en
gine thresher rides about the country
during the summer days making his
threehing contracts. In the fall he or
ganizes his force and starts on his
rounds he provides all the men nec
essary, takes along a. tent, employs a
cook and relieves the farmer and his
family of all work in connection with
threshing;. A counting machine regis
ters the number of bushels turned
out, and -when his work is ended he
receives the farmer's check for his
services, hooks up his teams to the
traction engines and goes on to the
nest field. -
Clover Bloat. .
Bloat in. cattle generally comes as
the.result of pasturing clover, though
it is a fact that in some cases ordi
nary grass pasture wlil produce the
same results if it is rank when cattle
that have not been used to It are turn
ed in. The importance of getting cat
tle used to clover while tit is dry can
not be overemphasized. ;
It may be necessary in some In
stances to turn them in for an hour
or two only during the middle of the
day, and continue this for - two or
three days, so that the ravenous edge
for the new clover is taken off their
appetites. Under no circumstances
should they be turned from a dry lot
when they are hungry into a clover
field. '
Looking to the Pedigree
Look at the pedigree of the stallion
you patronize, and if it is not issued
by one of the recognized registry as
sociations don't use that horse. Many
farmers will contend that a ; grade
horse that is a good looker is just as
good for a sire as a pure-bred, and
expense is much lighter.
Some of "the handsomest, soundest
and most perfect . horses are " grades,
and, while they are splendid animals
for use, they are unsuitable to breed
to. -Every grade has a yellow Etreak
in him,: and this is just as likely to
show as hi3 good qualities. ..'
'; Good Bedding for Horse. . .
A good way to keep a horse clean
in the stable is to clean out all dirt,
etc., and then cover the floor about
three or four Inches thick. with dry
sawdust 'as far back in stall aa the
horse usually stands, then cover the
sawdust with' straw, or bedding that
you may use. The sawdust will ab
sorb the - moisture, and thezf ore
make the other bedding last longer
in case It is scarce. The sawdust
should be replaced by fresh occasion
ally. - - ,- '' -i
- V : ' t ;' -:-:!
SUPPLEMENT TO A PASTURE
Feeding Corn Silage I Mot Economi
cal Method of Supplying Feed to
. Help Out Pasture. .
(By R. G. WEATHERSTONE.
Green crops fed as a supplement, to
pasture may be fed in the pasture or
in the barn lot but as a rule are fed
most economically in the barn. The
cows remain inside long enough at
milking time to eat their portions.
As a rule the most economical
method of supplying feed to help out
the short pastures of midsummer and
fall is to feed corn silage. Silage will
keep in good condition for summer
feeding with no loss except on the
surface. If it is not needed during
the summer, 'it may be covered with
the new silage and kept until wanted.
Corn furnishes a larger yield of dry
matter per acre than any crop that
can be ordinarily grown for summer
feeding, and has the further advan
tage of being on hand as early as
wanted.
It is handled more economically also
than soiling crops since it is cut all
at once and not every day as is neces
sary .with soiling crops.
It should be remembered that it is
only possible to feed a bunch of cows
economically when they are fed as
individuals and not as a herd. A
too common practice, even in the
otherwise well conducted herds, is for
all animals to be fed the same amount
of grain, regardless of the time they
have been in milk or the quantity of
milk, the individual cows are produc
ing. Such feeding always lacks econ
omy, as the high producing cow does
not get enough, and while she may
milk very well for a time, she soon
comes , down to a lower level, while
the lighter producing cow usually
gets too much feed and accumulates
fat.
MAKE-UP OF JERSEY CATTLE
Breed Attract Notice by' "Dairy"
Type of Their Bodily' Conforma
tion Some of Characteristic.
(By R. M. GOW.)
The characteristics which mark the
present race of Jersey cattle are
known to have been notable and prom
inent in the breed at least one hun
dred and fifty years ago, so that now
they have become thoroughly "fixed,"
sure to be Inherited by. their progeny,
thus affording the breeder a sure foun
dation for further development.
The main external characteristics of
the Jerseys are the beautiful softness'
of the various tints of fawn and gray
in their coats of hair; their gracefully
formed deer-like limbs; their neat, im
curving horns, large limped eyes,
small heads and delicate noses; their
bright, attractive and intelligent faces;
their soft yellow skin, long tails and
Eurotas, 2454. Record for One Year,
. 778 Pounds of Butter.
well-developed switches; their full,
rounded-out udders, straight backs,
and the fine proportions of their gen
eral conformation. The Jersey cow
looks the high-bred lady of the cattle
race. Well-developed male animals
should weight from 1400 pounds to 1800
pounds, and females, from 750 to 1200
pounds. Above all else, . Jerseys at
tract notice by the "dairy" type of
their bodily conformation, by their
large and welj-formed udders, and
prominent milk-veins. In color they
are - of various shades of soft fawn,
from red to silvery, with more or leas
white, broken color being unobjection
able except from the standpoint of in
dividual taste.
Daipv Notes
A silo will pay for itself in one year.
Be sure that the calves are started
right '; ' "
A farmer owning six cows should
have a silo.
Be sure that the temperature of the
milk is right. '
It is not possible to grow too much
forage on a dairy farm; . '
: A comfortable stable ' reduces the
cost of maintenance and increases the
flow of milk. . ,
Feed regularly, not too much at a
time, and, young calves at least four
times a day.
Nothing ' can be marketed on the
farm so successfully or bo economi
cally as butter. . ;
' The dairyman who does not keep an
individual record of his cows is not
an up-to-date dairyman.
If the mow is .nearly empty and the
feed low in the bin, don't cut down
the rations of the cows.
. The dairy farm that is stocked to its
full capacity without being overstock
ed is a pretty safe investment,
i When an animal forms a habit,
either , good or bad, that habit is a
part of, its life as long as it lives.
, Draining the butter well before salt
ing . is one of the little things that
makes for a better quality of product
Experiments-have proven the aver
age milk cow requires about an ounce
of salt per day. Heavy milkers should
have more.'
Success does hot lie In the numbe?
of cows the dairyman keeps; hut in
the kind he keeps and the way he
keejjs them. - - "
fr
Conducted by the National Woman'
k Christian Temperance Union.
f VICTORY FOR LAW IN MAINE
Sheriff of Biggest County in Pine Tree
State Impeached for Wilfull
Neglect of Duty.
The i Impeachment of the sheriff of
Cumberland county, Maine's largest
county, for nonfeasance in office proves
that the governor and the legislators
of that state Intend to carry out the
wishes of the people who elected
them., . In his special message to the
legislature asking for the removal of
the law-defying sheriff. Governor
Haines said:
"The people want enforcement of
the law against the sale of intoxicat
ing liquors and not the punishment
by fine or imprisonment of officers
who fail to do that work. They want
such officers removed from office and
others put In their places who win
enforce such lawB, honestly and con
scientiously. At least this is my con
victionl of what our people want IT
the last election In this state said any
thing, it said just that
"In compliance with the promise
which were made by Implication, at
least, to the people of the state in the
last campaign by myself and others tn
my behalf, and in behalf of the party
I represent, and also in accordance
with the oath which I took when I
assumed the office of governor, I feel
that I should 'submit to your honor
able body, for removal from office,
such officers as have failed to comply
with their oaths of office by neglecting
and refusing to follow the mandates
of the statutes they were elected te
enforce." 4
The sheriffs of Sagadahoc, Penob
scot and Androscoggin, have also been
removed and a like fate awaits other
unfaithful officers. The governor ha
the power to fill such vacanciea.
There are no "blind pigs" or "blind
tigers" where the officials have seeing
eyes, and that is the kind of officers
Governor Haines and the lawmaker
of Maine Intend to have in the Pino
Tree state. . '
WHAT BEER REALLY BUILDS
Not Physical Strength and Intellectual
Capacity, but Almshouse, Prl-'
on and Sepulchers.
One of the moBt wilfully deceitful
announcements on the huge " signs
which deface the landscape of New
Jersey, close to the tracks of several
great railways between New York and
Philadelphia, proclaims the virtues of.
"the beer that builds." That particu
lar beverage does build, but the ad
vertisement carefully conceals what it
builds. The brewer 'would leave the
Impression that it builds physical
strength and intellectual capacity. On
the contrary, it diminishes and ulti
mately destroys these, while it builds
almshouses, insane asylums, prisons
and sepulchers. The amount of nu
triment in a glass of beer is less than
the . quantity contained 1 in as much
flour as could be Heaped on the point
of a knife blade. The amount of po
tential waste of brain and brawn, of
character and spiritual efficiency in
such a potation is beyond calculation.
The pure-food law should be amended
in such a way as not only to compel
the manufacturers of articles for con
sumption to declare their ingredient,
but also in case they promise results
to the consumer, to indicate specifi
cally what kind of effects are produced.
"The ber that builds' ehould bear on
the label of each bottle precisely what
it builds. The Christian Advocate.
WHO ARE "STAY-AT-HOMES"
Men Who, If They . Would Taks
Trouble to Vote, Would Cast Bal
lots for Righteous Measures.
When the workers for reform dis
cover an absolutely infallible cure for
that distemper, "civic apathy,' then
indeed the liquor people will learn
that what they please to term "the
small but well-defined company of the
enemies, of personal liberty" has
grown to a mighty army. It has fre
quently, been asserted that the "stay-at-homes"
' at our elections are the
men who. If they would take the trou
ble to vote, would cast their ballots
for righteous measures. "The mo
ment tho church people get active, our
cause will win, and not before," says
County Commissioner. O'Neill of Pitts
burgh. "I never checked up a voting
list yet when all the saloonkeepers,
bartenders, brewery workers, and
thijir friends did not vote. Profession
al men, church-going men and others
often are cowards in this fight they
leave It to the women and the preach
ers. 'I hope the women will soon get
the ballet, for know that when they
do, one of the first things accomplish
ed by them will be the wiping out of
the drink curse."
M Refutation. v
One of the latest and best refuta
tions of l the statement, of the liquor
people that "prohibition kills prosper
ity" is the last report of Maine's state
assessors showing a gain of nearly
$12,500,000 In the wealth of the "Pine
Tree" state.'-. - ' , ;
. Eliminate Poverty. :
If intemperance were swept out of
our country there Vould. be hardly
enough joverty left to give healthful
exercise to our charitable Impulses.
Bishop Philllps Brooks.
s;