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INCONSEQUENTIAL DETAIL, Hello!" 'Hello!" 1 "Is this Dr. Fourthly?" -Ten." 'This I Mn. Dorklns. Say, doctor. Is that new chapel on the west aide ready for use?" "Not yet, Mra. Dorklna; we expect to open It" "I beg pardon, but there la ao much noise here that 1 can't quite" "I was saying that we expect to open It In a few weeka." "Tea? What arrangements have you made for music?' "As to (hat I can only say that wa bare an organ deal on " ' O, doctor, I don't care whether she wears an organdie lawn or a silk pop lin. Has she a good voice?" Moat Likely. A spiritualist, accompanied by an other man who shared the same belief, was walking in a country graveyard one night when one of the men de clared be aaw a "shadowy form." "Have you an Idea wBose ghost It was?" asked the other. "No, I can't tell you," he replied, "but over yonder there Ilea a man who had three wivea. On the stone of the first there la 'My Wife,' on the second My Dear Wife," and on the third 'My Beloved Wlfo.' If any ghost does walk hereabouts, I should say It is the first wife's." Harper's Magazine. Enough Said. Mrs. Cooke had a new servant and after the first cake she baked the mis tress 'went to the kitchen. "Delia," said Mrs. Cooke, "your cake was very good, but there was not enough nuts in It. When jou make an other, please remember like plenty of nuta in the cake." , "Well, mum." replied the girl, "the reason I didn't put more In was be cause I couldn't crack any more to day. Indeed mum, an' my Jaw hurts yet from them I did crack." Llppln cott's. Pent Up Wit. First Convict They aay it took Mil ton fifteen days to write one page of a book. Second Convict That'a nothing 1 I've been on one sentence six years, and I'm not through yet. Judge. Handy Emergency Man. "Why do you want a dentist on board of your yacht?" "Bo he will know bow to manage fat the teeth of a gal ... ' BUSINESS HAByT. "Who is that pushing fellow who la trying so hard to get into our coclal set?" - "I believe he's the fellow who made a lot of money in the lawn mower business." ' Going Too Far. "You remember the saying that a sucker Is born every minute?" "Oh, yes. StUl, I think there Is a limit to most people's gullibility." "For Instance?" "Nobody baa yet had the assurance to advertise that be could make old automobiles look like new." Old Shoes. "Have you got any old shoes about the place?" aald the tramp. You aee. these I'm wearln' baa been around a good deal." "Well, I've got a pair of old shoes and they've been around a good deal more than yours," replied the man at the door. "They're on my automo bile.' Pisces for Poets. "Almost every business now baa a poet connected with It." "So?" "Yes; the baked bean people use 'em, so do the breakfaat food fac tories. And today I met one working la a real estate office and talking to prospective purchasera about love In a semidetached cottage." Eaay. "You never bear of a wealthy bach elor being rua over by an auto." "That's so; I wonder why It Is?" "To a man who la used to dodging mothers with marriageable daughters dodging automobiles Is child's play." Wondering. "That new suit of hers bas me guessing." "What about?" "I've been wondering whether or tot there are pockets la the tails of Her Wish. A Baltimore man tells of receiving a unique note acknowledging a wedding present sent by him on the occasion of the marriage of hla chum. "Your lovely etching was received," wrote the bride, "and gives ua both pleasure. It Is now In the parlor hanging above the piano, where we hope to aee you very soon, and aa often as you find It agreeable." Life Among the Lowly. "Doing poor has eome recompenses," remarked the lady with the wealth of Imported hair. "How now?" "When another society dame Insulta me, I have to take It. But my washer woman gots a warrant every week for one of her numerous lady frlnnda." MANY SHY AT IT. "Truth is stranger than fiction." "Yea, and the majority of men seem to be shy on associating with strangers." Oh, Laura Jean I A chap within a drug store stood, A picture of tho blues: He saw the talcum powder there His lost love used to use. Pay Day. Creditor I should like to know when you are going to pay this bill; I can't come here every day in the week. Debtor What day would ault you best? Creditor Saturday. Debtor1 Very well; then you can call every Saturday. A Reason. "How -( -cut- old friend, Doe. Chaaem?" "I don't know. I haven't seco htm for alx months." "Why, you used to see him every day?" "I know, but that bill baa been paid." Nothing In It. Patience I understand thieves broke Into your father's office and cracked hla aafe. Patrice They did, but didn't get anything. "Wasn't what It waa cracked up to be, I suppose?" Out of Hla Element. First Cut Throat and Robber Did you pull oft that Job In Syracuse? Second Cut-Throat Naw; do you know, when I get away from New York I get nervous. Life. Moat Opportune. "Did you enjoy the amateur theat ricals?' "Oh, yes. The lights went out and stayed out for half an hour. When the lights came back I went out myself, A CRUEL INQUIRY. ' Cholly--rin auah that I don't know what I ahall do when 1 get out of col lege. Mot hah wants we to beamln Ithtah, but I have a leaning toward lltrachah. Evelyn Did you ever think of b coming an actress? Position of Advantage. "How did you come to be sent to congress?" said the luqulsltlvs person. "Well," replied Senator Sorghum, "some of my most Influential coneUV uents concluded I could do better work for them on the floor than I could aa a regular lobbyist." The Limit Gabe Smith Is a stingy guy. Isn't he? Steve Should say so. Why, be won't even tell a Joke at his own e ! WANT PARENT LOVE Young Men Ever In Need of the Wisest Guidance .Because They Are Young. w (fT HD yun man Is In danger be I cause he la young," said Rev. O. W. Muckley, pastor of. the Llnwood Boulevard Christian church. Kansas City. "The youth believes himself wise, but be is Ignorant The world to him Is a closed book, be cause of his lack of experience. How ever. It la impossible to put old heads on young shoulders, though If th young man would listen to those older and more experienced, he would be In less danger. Because of his youtb and ardor and enthusiasm, the young man is attracted to the thinga in Ufa that seem the brightest, but which too often are evil." Rev. Mr. Muckley spoke of guides and habitues of our great art galleries becoming Indlfforent to the beauties about them, aa they become accus tomed to the pictures and statuary. "But the visitor who does not visit these galleries ao often aees the beau ties about him, and fully appreciates everything he sees," be continued. The world is much like an art gallery, but by no means so safe. The young man walking through the world Is at tracted by everything be sees a"nd is apt to be led away by the glamor." He further spoke of the parent love for children, and the readiness with which a mother of father will condone an evil In a son. He spoke of King David's Inquiry of his "ion, Absalom, after bis son's strife: "Is the young man, Absalom, safe?" David bad in structed hla generals to deal gentlj with Absalom, but one of them, con forming to .a message from Qod, killed Absalom while be hung suspended by the hair from an oak tree. While Da vid mourned the death of hla son all Israel rejoiced. Pernicious Doctrine Condemned. The pastor cited Instances of men who upheld this motto and who finally went to the penitentiary for dishon esty. The most pernicious doctrine of which I know," said Mr. Muckley, "Is that which teaches a young man should sow his wild oats. It is because of this teaching that we have so many mental wrecks. The Bible tells us that which a man sows, so shall be reap. Many fall. Just because they have not prepared In youth for the responslblll tles of life. 'The parents should teach their chil dren the secrets of life, rather than have them learn on the streets. I should favor even the placing of signs of warning to young men where traps exist As the United States govern ment has placed signs of warning' at the entrance of Do-.th.aUfly-eo,oM the welfare board or some other Vjvlo body place warnings over every 'house of death' that Is In the pathway of our youth. i "The youth and all of us must have amusement, but care should be exer cised In the selection of those amuse ments. A playing card may look Inno cent enough, but it is the tool of the gambler. Church people who play bridge whist lose Interest In the church and aet bad examples for others. Any form of amusement, such as theaters, that scoffs at virtue, la dangerous." NEED OF THE "MUCKRAKER" Term Should Not Be One of Reproach, Since Work Is for the Common Good of All. What a contualon of ideaa there la la our modern use of the word "muck raking!" It bas been so wrested from Its original meaning that John Bunyan would not recognize it. In the great allegory the sordid pilgrim save his whole attention to the atraws and rub bish and Ignored the angel above hla head. Hla conduct waa reprehensible. But today when a brave man lays bare the corruption of a town or city It Is called "muckraking," and sometimes frowned upon by ease-loving burghers, when It Is really ethical and social san itation. Often the inveatigator brings to our attention unpleasant facta; but if they are facts we ought to be grate ful to bim. Any man who warna ua when our house Is afire or informs us about some overlooked disease-breeding refuse near our bouse, that man deserves our thanka. Why vilify the person who Is trying to prevent the spread of disease, physical or social? "Muckraking." forsooth! Our protest should be made not against the "rak ing," but againat the "muck.'t And "muck" or graft or inefficiency must first be pointed out before the cleans ing can take place. Many cities of our land have better publio service today becauae of the efforts of certain reso lute muckrakera. We need more of this work rather than lesa. As long as there is muck, Just so long let it be raked out Into view and condemned and removed. Let the reformer rake all the more bravely and thoroughly, becauae he lifts his eyes uow and then and sees above hla head the angel of a muulcipal Ideal Christian Register. Do Right Do right and God's recompense to you will be tbe power to do more right Give, and Clod's reward to you will be the spirit of giving more; blessed spirit, for It Is the spirit of Qod him self, whose life Is the blesseduess of giving. Lovs, and Ood will pay you with the capacity of more love; for love la heaven; love Is Ood within you. Rev. Freederick W. Robertson. If angels bad to live with some men there would be more fallen ones. WORK LATE POTATOES Eternal Vigilance Is Price of Sub stantial Yield. Imperatively Necessary to Maintain , Dirt or Dust Mulch to Prevent Needless Wsste of Moisture . by Evsporatlen, , (By W. M. KXI.LET.) During July and August the right kind of work must be given the late potatoes regularly, for eternal vigi lance In the potato patch Is the price of a good yield of tubers. If they are properly looked after they will clean In the rows, with hardly a weed In bills. As soon as the planta show In rows scross a field start the cultivator and set tbe teeth to run four or five inches deep the first time over the ground. This loosens up the com pacted soil and gives the tiny rootlets a better chance to penetrate between the soli particles. From then maintain a dirt or dust mulch in between the rows and around tho hills. This is imperative ly necessary to prevent the needless waste of moisture by evaporation. To check this the dirt mulch acta as a blanket by cutting off the multitudes of little bolea which appear through the crust and through which the sun pumps the water out very rapidly. It Is a puzzle sometimes to know Just what is the best tool to use at all times In cultivating potatoes through the growing season. The horse weeder is one that may be used at certain times In the potato field to alternate with the spring-toothed cultivator, especially when the pota toes are planted In drills. It levels tbe ground and destroya a multitude of weeds. Then for a few days the cultivator takes bold and does better work than It would If tbe teeth followed right in the same teeth tracks aa before. The weeder sometimes does more damage than good, If used improperly. I like to use It In tbe afternoon as it does less Injury in breaking off tender plants. I keep the cultivator going very fre quently over the same ground be tween the rows, working aa close to the bills as possible. But If the sea son is wet I get out my old shovel plow and corugate the surface quite deep. This is for the purpose of exposing a much larger portion of the surface soil and thus hasted the evaporation of the exceaa of moisture therein. A moderate drought during the growing season does not do aa much Injury aa too much moiature. I HANDLE VERY FINE DRY HAY Difficulty of Unloading Obviated by . Use of Rig Shown In Illustration Material Needed. Where the hay Is very dry and fine it-Is difficult to unload It with a horse fork, aa so much of It slips off the load, writes Henry S. Arnold of Mln nesota. in the Farm and Home. Here Is a rig we used with great satisfac tlon. To fix up this rig you will need a piece of chain about alx feet long, three clevises, two double harpoon forks and a piece of wood about three inches in diameter and four feet long Sharpen down the enda of the stick Original Hay Fork Hitch, so they go through a link in the chain Leave enough slack in the chain so that the middle la about one and a half feet from the middle of the stickJ Fasten a fork to each end of tbe chain. The forks should be set crosswise to the spreader stick when set in tbe load. Set the forks opposite each oth er on the back end of tbe load and then on tbe front end. The advant ages of this rig are that It will take a big forkful of hay and take It up clean. Ws use a sling on the bottom becauae It cleans the bay off so nice. Man Without a System. The man who Is always behlud In his work and frets and worries be cause he has so much to do is work' Ing without a system. No use trying to do more than one thing at a time and. If one will adhere to tbla ruls and have a time for doing everything day after day and month after month, the kinks will soon straighten out and be could do his work easily and without friction. Feeding Place. Pigs should never be fed ou tbe ground In a yard or pen where their own exerement abounds. Changing from place to place In the paatare dot's very well In the summer, but In the winter a good feeding floor should be provided. Keep on Studying. What do you know about the things that grow on your farm besides the ones you snake money out of? Good plan to study these things a bit sew A, and then. PROPERLY-MADE FLOOD GATE Device Saves Many Fences From Be ing Put Out ef Commission Dur ing the Rslny Seasons. Now that the season of heavy rains Is at hand the farmers whose fields sre traversed by creeks snd ravines will be subjected to the annoyance of having their fences washed out Flood gates save many fences from being put out of commission, but unless they are properly made and hung they are apt to come to disaster during some violent flood when the streams are running awlft and carrying wreckage, trees limbs, etc. The flood gate should be built for strength and ahould be made long enough to reach out a good distance on each aide of tbe creek or ravine. The timber used In Us con struction should be heavy unfinished boards are tbe best. The Its me should be made of 2x8. The other lumber the boards which go across the frame should be one inch thick and twelve wide. Use spikes snd ten- penny nails. The best way la to bolt Good FloodJSats. the frame pieces together, says the Iowa Homestead. After tbe gate Is made It ahould be hung securely. If there are no treea In line with the fence, or near enough to make their use permissible, poles must be set. A good, heavy pole should be selected. Set it as deep as possible. To be of any service it should be set In con crete. Two poles so set are sufficient to swing a gate. If dirt la stamped around the polea tbe lapping water will soften it and the pole will soon fall over or be washed out. Brace the poles well with wires which should be attached to the top, then tied to sev eral surrounding trees. If there are no trees the wires can be pegged down. The gate ia suspended by Iron hasps to a wire cable atretched be tween the two posts. A dozen strands of heavy telephone wire twisted to gether makes a good one. When It is desirable to fence against hogs light lumber can be nailed to the bottom of the gate to fill up the opening at the bottom if there should be one. SPEEDY REMEDY FOR BLOAT Many Good Animals Are Lost Because Owner Did Not Know How to Treat Case Properly. (By E. 8. HANINO.) As long as green closer pasture lasts bloat will cause the death of many a good animal almply because the owner did not know bow to treat the case to effect a speedy remedy. Tapping, as every one knows, will usually give relief, but aside from be ing a particular piece of work it bas the disadvantage of leaving a wound that cuts the animal down In flesh, and it must be protected from the flies during the healing process. Here is a treatment that I have used in a dozen cases. It bas never failed, although in some Instances the ani mals were down on their knees. As soon as tbe animal is known to be affected get a pall of cold water and pour it alowly over tbe distended sides of the animal and along the backbone. Repeat a few minutes later. Bloat is caused by a moist steam or vapor generated from the green, wet stuff In tbe animals paunch, aided by the natural beat of the animal's body. Tbe cold water quickly lowers the temperature, causing the steam to condense and form water, which then passes off by way of the bowels. Disposal of Manure. The most Important part of the sta ble sanitation from tbe other fellow's standpoint is the disposal of the ma nure. The liquid manure ahould be ab sorbed by the bedding and the bedding changed every day. The solid ma nure should be cleaned up morulas and evening and thrown in a flypreof box or vault. If possible have it hauled away dally. Calf Disorders. Bowel troubles in calves are some times caused by milk that is exces sively rich. Milk that ia moderate or low In butter fat ia usually better for young calves. Indigestion in older calves Is usually due to unclean milk or teed, unclean vessels, close con finement in dark, unsanlty stalls, and Irregular or excessive feeding. In some cases it appears to be due mainly to aheer weakness and In ability to digest. Care of Milk Utensils. Milk cans or utensils should never be allowed to set around tbe stable, aa many careless men will thought lessly do. Milk la very susceptible to germs and odors, and the greatest care ahould always be exercised In handling. Clean utensils are Import ant essentials in dairying. Breading Place for Flies. Remember that bouse flies breed In horse manure lu preference to any other place, and the only way to keep them down is to keep them sway from the breeding place. Market for Drafters. The autotruck will not materially affect the market for draft horses. n l7t ' V J (By The National Womnn'i Christian Tmpraaee Union. TO DESTROY LIQUOR TRAFFIC Petition Addressed to Governments of World Asks Prohibition of Curses ef All Nations. IK win an 1ilr- by Win. Krane P. Pwke. orrfonnndlna BX-rfftery Na tional W. C. T. V.) The story of the Polyglot petition Is In part the story of the World's Wo man's Christian Temperance Union, a multitude of Christian women of all races and colors banded together to destroy the legalized liquor traffic. This petition, addressed to the gov ernments of the world, was started on Its long Journey In 1885. The con eluding paragraph Teads: We, (your petltlonera) come to you with the united voices of rep- ' resentatlve women of every land, beseeching you to raise the stand ard of the law to that of Chris tian morals, to atrip away the safeguards and sanctions of tbe state from the liquor traffic and the opium trade, and to protect our homes by the total prohibition ( of these curses of civilization throughout all the territory over which your government extends. "To enumerate the languages In wboee charactera the beliefs of women have been molded to action by this fur reaching document would be to make a list of almost every tongue that has survived the confusion of Babel. There are columns of Chinese women's signatures that look like houses that Jack built. There la a list of Burmese signatures that looka like bunches of "tangled worms." The thousands upon thousands from the spacy iale of Ceylon are enough to make a shorthand writer shudder. The Incomprehensible but liquid vow els of the Hawaiian Kanaka Jostle tbe proud names of English ladlea of high degree; the name of the haughty ae nora of Madrid makes the same plea as "her mark" of the converted wo man of the Congo. There are Span ish names from Mexico and the South American republics, French from Mar tlnque, Dutch from Natal, and Eng lish from New Zealand, besides the great home petition from the greater nations. The total, counting men's and women'a signatures and attests tlons. aggregate seven and one-half millions. The petition Is mounted on cloth and If the names were written one under the other It would be more than live miles ling." By legislative enactment secured through the Woman's Christian Tem perance Union scientific, temperance instruction Is compulsory In all pub lic schools of the United Slates, and is optional or compulsory In the schools of Great Britain, Canada. France, Holland. Denmark, Belgium, Switzerland, Austria, Hungary, Ger many, 8weden, Finland, Australia, New Zealand South Africa. Mexico and Japan. It Is not strange that the aanity of temperance ahould be seen when two generations of our people have been trained from the kindergarten to uni versity in the belief that alcohol' is a poison. It is not atrange that women, build ing tor all time, have put great em phasis upon the spread of the scienti fic temperance Instruction, believing that there can be no permaneut pro hibition of the aale of alcoholic liquor which does not rest upon the founda tion of knowledge of the true nature and effect of alcohol. Fifty countries are federated with the World's Woman's Christian Tem perance Union and will send delegates to Its ninth triennial convention to be held In Brooklyn, N. Y., In October. The Countesa of Carlisle ia president. Crime Against Nature. In obedience to Nature's laws of economy and evolution, we owe to the succeeding generation a healthier childhood and a more wholesome nur sery In which to rear It than we In herited from the generation which preceded ua. In debauching manhood of Its citizenship by authorizing the sale of alcoholic drink, the state Is robbing the next generation of its natural birthright and is itself com mitting a crime againat Nature. Hon. L. Judson Williams. Judge of the Su preme Court of Appeals, West Vir ginia. Increase In Height About one-half of the cities and practically all of rural Norway are under prohibition. To this fact. It Is thought, is due the tucreaao in height of recruits to the army between the years 1880 and 1907, while It Is true that In French districts where the ravages of alcoholism are most mark ed, the height of recruits to the arm has diminished. Who Pays Taxse? "My Ideaa on tbo tax question have changed," aays a prominent farmer. "1 used to think saloons paid taxes. They simply collect tbem, and give work than nothing In return. The license money they pay and that some nearelgbted folks think Is such a big thing, comes out of their customers, every dollar of It. And theu we sober, hardworking farmers have to pay more taxea to keep up expenses of courts, prisons, asylums, poor houses and talis than all tbe other tax Da vera of tbe country put together." 11 eutaway mLm pense.