The Madisonian., February 03, 1914, Image 5

About The Madisonian. (Richmond, Ky.) 1913-1914

Image provided by: University of Kentucky, Lexington, KY

                
THE MADISONIAN
FROM SHEER HABIT. .
Miss Muffitt had recently, joined the
"Band of Sisters for Befriending Burg
lars," and was being shown over a
prison for the first time.
One prisoner, evidently a. man of
education, interested her more than
the. others. He rose and bowed to her
when she entered his cell, apologizing
J:or the poorness of his apartments. -
Miss Muffitt could not help wonder
ing how this refined man came within
the clutches of the law. -In fact, as
she was leaving the cell, she said:
"May I ask why you are in this dis
tressing place?"
"Madam," he replied, "I am here for
robbery at a seaside hotel." ,
, "How very interesting!" said Miss
Muffitt. "Were you er the proprie
tor?": Answers.
Hfs Calling Gone.
Beck See that tattered looking
chap over there?
Call Uh huh!
"Well, he used to be one of the
most prosperous cartoonists In the
land."
"What happened to him? Lost his
talent." ' ,
"No, but his specialty was making
grotesque drawings of women's fash
ions, and now the styles have sur
passed his pictures."
A Sensible Patient.
The Doctor From the looks of you,
my good fellow, I'm afraid you have
appendicitis. Let me have your pulse.
The operation will cost you let me
see let me see
The Patient Hold up a minute,
. Doc. Get .the pulse first and tell me
the damages afterward. I'm the fel
low to be operated upon in this par
ticular case, and I want the diagnosis
to be attended with as little excite
ment as possible.
MUST BE.
"Most old maids are usually thin."
"Well, a woman with sharp elbows
can make her way through the world
without the assistance of a man."
Maybe You Know a Few.
Some men, too, are up and doing:.
With no heart for any fate;
Still achieving:, still pursuing,
'CauBe they labor and don't wait!
Forebodings.
"Dat boy," said Uncle Rasbury, "Is
so lazy that he ain' never g'ineter git
to heaven." ' .
"Why, he doesn't seem' to be doing
any harm." '
"No.. But he'll never climb no gold
en stairs. He'll Jes sit around an
wait Toh an elevator an' finally start
de other way 'cause de goin's easier."
A Fault.
"These rooms," said the visitor,
loking around at the badly streaked
walls, "would never suit my wife, who
is very proper."
"What'B the matter they wouldn't
suit a proper person?" indignantly de
manded the janitor. .
"Because I notice they are rather off
color." .
Unsafe. . -
"I am just wondering whether it
would be safe to propose to that girl
I have been going with?"
"I don't think it would."
"What makes you think she would
turn 'me down?"
"I don't I think she would snap
you up." '
Something He Can't Talk About.
"Has the count ' committed himself
jet, daughter?"
."No, father, but he has looked unut
terablethings." v "
"Umph ! If that's the case, his debts
must be preying on his mind more
than. I thought they did." '.,
. . As a Reward.
"Be a good boy," said auntie, the
militant. . '
'.. "And what then?" demanded the
youngster.
"Auntie will take you downtown and
let you see her throw a brick through
a window."
; 'A Cinch. ...
: "I understand Whipple has adopted
a political career."
"It was the other way about. , A po
litical machine adopted Whipple and
now bio career i assured." , ,
NO PEACE. (
Visitor You seem to be always
having trouble in this town.
Native Why, friend, there's no
brand of trouble that we haven't had
at one time or another in this town.
Strange.
I've never known a- sailor bold
"Who didn't seem to be
So fresh you'd think he'd never sailed
t'p'on the salty sea.
Blissful Ignorance.
A story in the Berliner Illustrirte
Zeitung describes another instance
where "ignorance is bliss."
A man went to a judge and asked
whether he could bring suit for slan
der against a man who had called him
a rhinoceros.
"Why, certainly," said . the - judge.
"When did he call you that?"
"About three years ago."
"Three years ago! And you only
start Buit today!"
"But, your honor, yesterday I saw
a rhinoceros for the first time."
Cause and Effect.
"It is very curious to me," said
Slithers, "what a musical voice Mrs.
Brighteyes has, and yet whenever she
speaks in French it is hard and rasp
ing almost metallic."
"Oh. that's only natural!" said Bin
go. "You see, Mrs. Brighteyes learned
French by phonograph, and she has
mistaken the imperfections of the rec
ords for accent." Judge.
Critical.
"The natural refinement of the fem
inine character cannot be wholly sub
dued," said one London policeman.
"Quite so," replied the Other. "What
has happened now?"
"A militant suffragette has turned a
bomb into police headquarters. It was
a perfectly good bomb, but she didn't
approve of the hand-painted decora
tions." Always In It.
Mr. Fuss (furiously) It's mighty
strange you can't look after things a
little better! Here I want to shave
and there Isn't a drop of hot water
here. ,. '
Mrs. Fuss (icily)-r-It is strange!
Why, that's the one thing I've never
been out of since I married you!
Judge. " s
The Only Way.
. "That artist who went into the
Maine woods naked, and proved that
modern man was the equal of primi
tive man, by living there for two
months, must at least have saved
money." -
"If he wanted to save money he
should have sent his family into the
woods' .
TRUE PHILANTHROPY.
"Say, pop, what is philanthropy?"
"The feeling which we - sometimes
have when we see some one very bad
ly off that "prompts us to ask some one
else to relieve the unfortunate one's
distress."; . " .
, Salable Stuff.
I do-riot write to win applause
Or gather bays.'
I simply deal in-verse because'
It pays... ;,
- Encouraging ai Author.
Manuscript Reader Here 1b a man
uscript from some vTiter 'I never
heard of. ' - .
Great Magazine Editor Well, no use
discouraging the poor fellow. Kick
it around the floor so it will look as
it it had been carefully read and send
It back. '',
DlingtH
Excuses
B REV. HOWARD W.POPE
Superintendm of Men
Moody Bible kstitnte. Qicngo
. TEXT I pray thee have me. excused.
Luke 14:18.
Let us begin
the most common
of all excuses, "I
Am Not Very
Bad." .
The mistake
which this man is
making is that of
judging himself
by a false stand
ard. The remedy
is to correct his
standard. Say to
him, ''It may be
that you are not
very bad in your
own estimation, or
in the opinion of
others , but let us see what God Bays
about you. His Word is the only, true
standard." -Open
your Bible and ask him to
read aloud Romans 3:10. There is
none riehteous. no, not one. ' After he
has read it, ask him a few questions:
""Whose words are these which you
have read?"
"God's Words."
"Does he know the real condition
of a man's heart?"
' "Yes."
"Does he know a man's heart bet
ter than the man himself?"
"Probably."
"Who does he eay is righteous?"
"He says that there is none right
eous."
"What, not one?"
"No, not one."
"Are you an exception to this rule?"
"I suppose not."
"Then you admit that you are not
really righteous?"
- "I suppose I must." .
Ask him to read Romans 3:23. Then
say to him, "Who does God say have
sinned?"
"All have sinned."
"Are you an exception?"
"No."
"Then you admit that you have
sinned and come short of the glory of
God"
By this time the man is becoming
uneasy. He is ' beginning to realize
that whatever he may be in his own
estimation, in God's sight he is a
sinner. You have withdrawn his at
tention from the inconsistent church
members with whom he has formerly
compared himself, and you have fixed
his mind upon the great God to whom
he must give an account.
Another good verse to use with this
class is Isaiah 53:6. After the man
has read it, ask him, "Who does God
say has gone astray?"
"All of us."
"Does that include you?"
"I suppose it does." .
"What does he say we have done?"
"We have turned every one to his
own way."
"Then, according to God's Word,"
having one's own way is sin?"
"So it seems."
It is well to emphasize this point
strongly, for, to the average person
the word "sin" means some form .of
vice or crime. According to this verse
however the real essence of sin con
sists in having one's own way. in
stead of walking in God's way. It
may not be an immoral way, or a dis
honest way, or an untruthful way, but
it is his way and not God's way, in
which he ought to walk.
Returning to the verse you can ask.
"What do you say of a sheep which
has gone astrJH"
"It is lost." , :
"Then If you have had your own
way through life instead of doing
God's will, you too are lost, are you
not?"
"So it appears." .
"Admitting then that you are a lost
sinner, what does God say that he
has done with your sins?"
"And the Lord hath laid ou him the
iniquity of us all."
"Then your sins have made it neces
sary for Jesus to die on Uie cross?"
; "Yes."
"When Jesus took your place on. the
cross and died for your sins, you re
fused to acknowledge him as your
Saviour, did you not?"
"Yes." - 1 .' . . . ' 1
"Anfl you have never once thanked
him for. what be has done for you.
have you?" ' .'' ' '
"No." ; ') y, '
"And yet you say you are not very
bad. If this is not bad, will you tell
me what is? There is only one thing
worse, and that is to continue reject
ing such a Saviour." "', '-. !
In dealing with self-righteous people
It is well-nigh useless to argue. Nei
ther would it be a very gracious thing
to tell .'them that you thought they
were great sinners. They would not
believe it if you did, and quite likely;
they might retort "And you are an
other." . . ; .
The only effective way of dealing
with them is to bring them face to
face with God, and make them realize
that they are dealing with Him rather
than with you. . , .
.Another way is to ask a person If
he knows that he has committed the
greatest sin a mac can commit. He
wfll probably answer, "No. I have
not." Ask him to . read Matthew
12:21. 3? ". . ; "
EVERYONE NOW ;
WEARING THE
: BREAKFAST CAP
CAPS of many kinds may come and
go in the fashion parade, but the
breakfast cap is destined to stay on
forever. At least that is the promise
which its present condition of grow
ing popularity warrants one in mak
ing. .
The breakfast cap has won the
hearts of beauty-loving women for sev
eral very- good reasons. No one really
wants to take time to dress the hair
for all day, the first thing in the morn
ing. And no one wants to look un
kempt at the breakfast table. The
gay and cheerful little ap covers
and conceals, or else veils the hair.
Its frills about the face are becom
ing, and It lends variety, which is the
spice of life, to the appearance of its
wearer.
A study of the caps worn by wom
en, their significance and appearance,
would prove more than - interesting.
They form a prominent feature in the
national costumes of many people.
Caps are so popular at present that
even the wedding veil is arranged
about the head as a cap. For eve
nings wear caps of gold or silver net
are seen everywhere. These fash
ions will perhaps change, but it is un
likely that the breakfast cap will do
anything but develop new designs and
be made in greater number. -
They are made now to be worn with
lovely negligee about the house.
Chiffon or' very thin silks are liked
for them, and hand embroidery on
these and other thin fabrics, such as
batiste and mull, are featured in the
latest models.
. Sometimes the frill about the face
is omitted altogether, sometimes It is
left off at the front. Oftener it is
turned back at the front and tacked
down to the cap. But the favorite
cap is that one having the frill of
BY way of variety two hats are
shown here having pressed crowns
that are not covered to look soft. The
pretty sailor shape of velvet has a
round crown and graceful, slightly
rolling brim, all very smooth and fin
ished Jooking. : ,
Shapes of this character are blocked
and covered in factories, where by ma
chinery and steam velvet is adjusted
,td the frame without a wrinkle, or at
least without any that attract atten
tion.; These hats are really marvels
of skill in workmanship.
The trimming is of the simplest
character a collar of fur with brush
of fur standing at the front, and hav
ing an ear of velvet as its background.
The velvet Is Gupported by a "loop of
bonnet wire inserted in it . with its
base sewed to the body of the hat.
This is one of the few hats which
the home milliner may . undertake to
trim for herself. Such hats are not
plentiful at present, for this is a sea
son of - workroom millinery, that Js,
.millinery made, in millinery : shops.
But when a 6hape is bought ready
covered and sometimes : ready lined
one needs only to follow the picture
In placing such simple trimming as
. y - x's-A
.fa - if vu i
- I V 1 I
til ' r HlTO mmJ
Fur and Fur-Cloths Reign in Millinery j
; I X it9"i
Nitkl
lace or' embroidery or net falling all
around it - '
Ribbons and little made flowers of
chiffon and ribbon, very small, fine
millinery blossoms, are the favorite
trimmings. Chiffon roses play a con
spicuous part in the decoration of all
the belongings of the present season,
f..":'':x.v,,--A-o,
and are to blossom more freely than
ever on garments made for spring.
Several caps are needed by the
wearer of caps. Two or three for
breakfast and wear about the
house. One or two for evening, and
perhaps a small variation ' for after
noon wear. They are good for the
hair, protecting it from dust.
JULIA BOTTOM LEY.
Care of the Complexion.
Many people find that their com
plexions suffer considerably from the
exposure that motoring entails, but
the application of a good facs cream
and a little fine powder before setting
out will be found to be a great pro
tection. .
It is fatal to wash the face in either
warm or cold water after a long run;
cream should again be used to remove
all dust and a soothing lotion applied
after the former has been carefully
wiped away.
Some women have a great objection
to goggles, on the plea that they are
so extremely unbecoming, but the
wise woman will realize that the
strain on the eyes produces lines and
"crowfeet," and that it is far better
to submit to a temporary less beau
tiful appearance than to risk any per
manent harm.
To Dry Lace.
The most satisfactory way to dry
lace is -to press It smoothly upon a
pane of glass or piece of marble, says
the Philadelphia North American.
Place every point and scallop as it
was intended to lie and leave it until
dry. Do not iron, as the ironing
takes away the fresh effect.
this hat calls for.
hard to do.
It will not be found
A plush (or, as it is called now, a
fur-cloth) hat is shown alfo, and al
though it Is a pressed shape covered
with plush by hand, it is not beyond
the possibilities of the home milliner.
There is no attempt to cover the
crown with exact smoothn ?bb, but a
circle of plush is cut out anf laid over
the shape and the fullness a.t the base
of the crown laid In plaits at intervals
about It,
The brim is covered separately with
plush cut to fit It In shape, and is
lined on the eide next the crown with
silk. A clever little touch of style
is achieved by the extension of the
brim at the left front over the right
side In the effect of a strap. The
end is rounded and brought up above
the top of tnt brim at the right front
It Is apparently held In place by a silk
cord through which it is thrust
At the Bide an embroidered orna
ment serves to mount a cluster of pea
cock feathers (not the "eyes") to the
brim. .They spring out toward the
back and complete a very novel and
very pretty bit of headwear. .
JULIA BOTTOM LEY.
r 1
us
X en
7 m
j?
(Conducted by- the National Woman':
Christian Temperance Union.)
ALCOHOL A DECEIVER.
Dr. David Starr Jordan tells the fol
lowing story: '
There was once a man who came
into his office smacking his lips,. and'
said to Mb clerk: "The world looks
very different to the man who has
had a good glass of brandy and soda
In the morning." "Yes," said the
clerk, "and the man looks differently to
the world." And this is natural and
inevitable. Dr. Jordan points out, "for
the pleasure which exists only in the
imagination leads to action which has
likewise nothing to do with the de
mand of life. The mind is confused,
and may be delighted with the confu
sion, but the confused muscles trem
ple and halt. The tongue is loosened
and utters unfinished sentences; the
hand is loosened and the handwriting
is shaky ; the muscles of the eye are
unharnessed, and the two eyes move
independently and Bee double; the legs:
are loosened, and tlie confusion of the
brain shows itself in the confused walk..
And if this confusion is long contin
ued, the mental deterioration shows it
self in external things the shabby
hat and seedy clothing, and the grad
uaf drop of the man from stratum to
Btratum of society, till he brings up
some night in a ditch. As the world,
looks more and more different to him.
so does he look more and more differ
ent to the world."
TESTIMONY OF A TRAVELER.
One of the greatest explorers of the
day is Mr. A. Henry Savage Landor, a
grandson of Walter 'Savage Landor.
He. has traveled in the Antarctic, in
Thibet, the Himalayas, Korea, Mongo
lia, through the Dark Continent, anct
has crossed South America at its wid
est part, accomplishing one of the
most difficult expeditions ever made,
penetrating in a 13,750-mile journey
parts of Brazil that were regarded ae
impassable. This latter feat through
a semi-tropical zone occupied one year
and a half, and was constantly attend
ed by hardships and sufferings, in the
course of which for sixty days, vkliile
shooting the rapids of the Arinos, the
party endured terrible privations, and
afterwards when' food failed, starved
for sixteen days.
When asked how he has preserved
immunity from sickness, exposed to
fuch varied climatic conditions, he re
plies, "The N wonderful health I enjoy
is largely due to my temperate habits.
!n all these journeyings neither he nor
his attendants took with them any
alcoholic spirits.
Mr. Landor's testimony on this point
is unequivocal. "It is not traveling,"
he says, "which kills an explorer, it ia
the drinking and emoking and living
In foul air in civilized countries. I
don't drink and 1 don't smoke."
DOCTORS AGAINST ALCOHOL.
When that great conclave of doc
tors took place at Brighton, England,
under the auspices of the British Med
ical association, advantage was taken
of the presence of so many medical
men iK attendance to get nearly forty
anti-alcohol, addresses delivered on
the Sunday In Brighton and adjoining
towns. The subject was "Evils of Al
cohol Upon the Human Body," and
the particularly interesting thing wa
to see so many physicians in pulpits
and on the platforms evidently will
ing to play the part of crusaders
against what one of their profession
had aptly described as "the greatest'
enemy of the race." The aggregate
result of these addresses constituted
an all-round indictment of alcohol or
a remarkably striking and education
al nature. As indicating the up-to-date
character of the addresses, sev
eral of the doctors used charts and di
agrams which were projected upon
a screen by a lantern, thus transfer
ring the practice of the medical lec
ture room to the church, chapel and
schoolroom.
T HE UNCOVERED WELL.
It (the way to alcoholism) was like
an uncovered well in a yard where
children play. It is small use to tell
the brave little boys toddling their
way along into knowledge of life that
they mustn't play near the uncovered
well. They will play near it. Any
parent knows that And we know that
a certain percentage of them, the
livest and most daring, will fall into
the well. The thing to do we all know
it Is to cover up the well. The ca:
is the same with John Barleycorn. All
the no-saying and no-preaching in the
world will fail to keep men, and
youths ' growing Into manhood away
from John Barleycorn when John Bar-
leycorn is everywhere accessible. The JS.
only rational thing for the twentieth yjQ
century folk to do ia to cover up thtUe .
well. Jack London. In "John Barley- 3 al
corn." 190 at
t . .eneral av-
LET IT ALONE. , 1 ,r-
Not matter how good a ' dMnHc ..iOC.
man may be, he would bei&t tJelfer Price.
man if he would let liquor tftgierefrVainder
matter how Inferior a total abstainer
may.be, be would be still more infe
rior if he were a arintynfchrJWTst and
Cnneen. . r
f ring the remainder of
SANCTION CRIME. ' '
v No honest man who has his own or
his neighbor's welfare at heart will -vote
for the saloon. ' When you vote
for saloons yon sanction crime in all
Its PfcasejjQg gjrd ffc&etroit-