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The Hartford republican. (Hartford, Ky.) 18??-1926, June 28, 1918, Image 8

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Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn86069313/1918-06-28/ed-1/seq-8/

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TIWIWIUMIJIMII) II
STRAY STREAKS
(By Fluko McFIuko.)
They havo shortened our flour ra
tions so that wo now get Just about
enough to ninko old fashioned thick
ened gravy, that Is, wo would havo,
it wo had something to greaso tho
grnvy.
Hat Nail has been troubled with
had feet lately (and so havo those
who have been forced to associate
with him) and whllo tho examining
physicians did not use a magnifying
glass or tho Xray, ho said It was no
troublo to tell that said feet needed
nothing moro than concentrated lyo,
water and brisk rubbing.
, "Wo saw a llttlo "nigger" near the
bakery tho other ovenlng with a hunk
of old time boforo-tho-war Jelly cake
ns big as Dob Walker's foot (no, not
both, just one of them) and If we'd
a haM that nigger out In some lone
somo spot we'd a had that cake or
murdered him on tho spot.
John Henry boosted tho road work
ing proposition sky-high, got every
fellow possible in a big way to give
a day's labor, last Friday, and, true
to our prediction, Thomas hit it for
Louisville, leaving tho office and
work in such shape that Fluko could
not even get off to work the road,
ns he patriotically wished to do.
Tho author, or perpetrator of this
column and I. D. Clair were at dag
ger? points for several days, duo to
Jealousy. One patron of the paper
dropped Into tho lulut and sa'.d bo
believed that ho liked "Scray Streaks
Just a llttlo bit better than ho did
Beads Oddly Strung. Another fel
low, whose opinion I don't care much
for, said he thought Beads Oddly
Strung was not quite as rotten is
Stray Streaks. Then the war broke
out "over here" 'twixt Declalr and
yours truly, as to who was the most
popular author, as to whose stuff was
the most widely read, and as to which
column induced tho greater number
of subscribers to drop their dollars
into the concern's coffers. The row
was in Its height when along camo
a third, unappreclatlvo, sort of a
chronic growling, soro headed sub
scriber who said ho thought It a
durn sinful shamo that tho Board of
Directors would permit such blamed
rot to run In tho paper as that under
tho names of I. D. Clair and Fluko
McFluRo, and that he was going to
withdraw his support of 30 years
standing, If the two columns wore
not cut out. Tho self-lmnglned writ
ers of great and glorious squibs then
quit their scrapping, started talking
the matter over through tho open
door, each from his own apartment
and nro now living haplly together,
tho laying with blackjacks for tho
unapprcciatlve, thick headed and
bellyaching subscriber. Thus mur
der was prevented, and this story
ends.
Everything In this column is orig
inal, new and true, if not otherwise.
SULIMIUH SPRINGS.
Crops nro needing rain. Some
fnrmors are done planting corn, but
tho wire worms are doing great dam
age to that planted.
Wheat harvest Is over and clover
cutting Is In progress.
A few girls arc donning overalls,
and taking their places In tho fields,
and doing tho work of men. This
good work Just begun should bo fol
lowed by other girls to help make a
bumper crop. When, tho boys get
back from France they will bo want
ing wives, and if they are wlso as I
think they aro they will be looking
for the girls that helped feed them
whllo they were fighting for their
country. A word to the wise is suf
ficient. The editor of tho Republican start
ed in last week to tell what he didn't
know but soon discovered it was too
big a Job and quit. No, John H.,
don't undertake it. Life Is too short
and paper too high.
Mrs. A. A. Murphy and three chlld
Yen, of Illinois, are visiting relatives,
Mr. Murphy may follow soon. It
tho prospects look good Mr. Murphy
may locate here again, for like most
other people who leave Ohio county
they aro never satisfied till they come
back.
BEADS ODDLY STRUNG.
"-.
BILLS
77ie Packer's Bill
for Live Stock
For the first six months of our operations
under the Food Administration, ending
April 30, 1918; Swift & Company paid for
DRESSED WEIGHT LBS.
live stock - 1,558,600,000 $323,800,000
For the same
periodinl917 1,338300,000 $210.400,000
IncrGflSs in
Weight, 16V295 220,300,000
Increase
in cost 5495 ... $113,400,000
The Consumer's
Bill for Meat
must necessarily have increased
correspondingly, as Live Stock
prices and meat prices fluctuate
together.
When the producer gets high
prices for his live stock, the con
sumer's meat bill must neces
sarily be larger.
Year Book of interesting and
instructive'facts sent on request
Address Swift & Company,
Union Stock Yards, Chicago, Illinois
Swift & Company, U.S. A.
(By I. n. Clalro.)
If tho Unlto-1 States does dcclaro
war on Turkey won't wo make the
feathers fly?
McAdoo hns nomlnntcd Pa-ln-law
for a third term, but If Pa runs thorn
Democratic nowspapcrs that fit Teddy
so hard on tho third term, will havo
to do a lot of camouflaging their
editorials of 101C.
This company orter rcduco Tins
ley's wages for the summer. No
bald headed mnn is worth mor'n half
prlco cndurln' fly time.
Thcro Is two nntlvo and one vls-
ltln nlncty-genarians In Hartford this
week. Thoy aro Undo Bllllo Render
93, Mrs. Q. C. Shanks 97, nnd Judge
Cook's father 91.
Tho residence next door to mine
was sold last week, and Tlnsley was
mean enough to say it will sell fre
quently unless I move.
I know a man In this town who has
nine quarts of "Old Joo Taylor"
whisky, and ho Is that dad dratted
stingy ho wouldn't glvo mo and Lon
Ralph and Judge Cook a drink after
we went out and helped him thrash
his wheat.
The street corner yarn wheel is
spinning some this week. Steve May
Is at home.
Tlnsley let It git out that It Ike
Mason was elected to congress he was
to bo Ike's privnto secretary, and its
losln' Ike a sight of votes.
Wo haven't scon Battle Nail for
several days. Guess ho is hidln' out
from tho mako'm work commissioner.
I can give the Hayti boys a clean
bill of health about workin. I pass
ed through there Monday and there
wasn't a mother's son of them to be
seen. But they might a bin loafln'
In the back yards.
There's enough gasoline wasted in
runnin' round in automobiles, grub
fed to worthless dogs and time lost in
discussin the war to feed Pcrshin's
army.
I ain't uneasy about the future
defense of the country. If the war
lasts a few years longer we will have I
an army of old mald3, big" enough to i
whip the world.
I
They say there Is only a thin line j
between genius and insanity, and
after readin Stray Streaks I'll bo
hanged if I can tell which side that
thin line Tlnsley is on.
m
OLD FAI.SK tketh wanted
DON'T MATTKK IF BROKEN'
We pay up to 15 dollars per set. Also
cash for Old Gold, Silver and broken
Jewelry. Check sent by return mail.
Goods held 10 days for sender's ap
proval of our offer. Mazer's Tooth
Specialty, Dept. A, 2007 S. 5th St.,
Philadelphia, Pa. 43tl5
m
COOL SPRINGS.
BUY CLOTHES
THAT FIGHT FOR YOU!
Copyright Hart Schaffneri: Marx
!
-j25SvBfWyI-W,l''fj!afJ l.Bm I ," 1 "M-M LP "M 1ULI' .flfW 'y
Rev. Moore filled his appointment
here Saturday and Sunday.
Mr. Charlie Elliott, wife and little
daughter, Marguerite, and Mrs.
Emma Brown, of Graham, visited rel
atives hero last week.
Mr. Thomes Tato and Jesse Brown
visited Mr. Roscoe Wilson, of Butler
county, Saturday night and Sunday.
Mr. Robert Chinn.of Camp Taylor,
is at name on a months furlough.
Mr. and Mrs. Tom Wilson and
daughter, Knightsburg, wero tho
guests of Mr. T. C. Dennis. Thursdny.
Mrs. O. N. Stewart will teach tho
Coolsprings school, beginning July 8
Misses Bculah Taylor and Corlno
Dennis wero tho guests of their cous
in, Miss Paulino Wilson, of Knights
burg, last week.
Mr. Tom Kennedy, who was sent
to tho asylum at Hopkiimvlllo last
week, committed suicide by hanging
himself Saturday night. His remains
woro brought to Coopsprings Monday
afternoon. Funeral services woro
conducted by Uev. Boggess, of Ro
chester. Do you get up at night? Sanol is
suroly tho best for all kidney or blad
der troubles. Sanol gives relief in
24 hours form all backacho nnd blad
der troubles. Sanol Is a guaranteed
remedy. 50c and $1.00 u bottlo at
tho drug store. 40-yr
.
A WAR ItltlDE.
Private Cecil Rhoadoa, who is with
tho artillery division at Wo3t point,
camo homo a fow days ago on fur
lough and whllo horo decided that It
was not good for oven an artillery soK
dler to live nlono, and took unto him
self a wife. Mr. Rhoades and Miss
Jauo Farmer woro married by Judgo
Cook Monday und left Immediately
for West Point, whoro they will llvo
until Mr. Rhoades Is transferred else
where. Mr. Rhoads is ouo of tho
three sous of Esq. Butler Rhoades,
who ontored tho military service In
Hart, Schaffner & Marx
Clothes Do It.
Buy Underwear that's the Top Notch of Economy
Munsing Wear is the Saving Kind!
This store provides merchandise all along the line that has the
saving possibilities. Weights and fabrics in harmony
with the season. Price and quality al
ways on a par.
SUMMER MILLINERY
SUMMER HOSE
SUMMER PARASOLS
SUMMER SHOES
SUMMER DRESS GOODS
SUMMER SHIRTS
SUMMER SKIRTS
SUMMER WAISTS
EVERYTHING FOR SUMMER!
Buy Your Summer needs NOW, and invest
your surplus in
War Savings Stamps
Help yourself to prosperity.
Help your Government to victory.
E. P. Barnes 6 Bro.
BEAVER DAM, KENTUCKY.
!
w-
$. $tf
tho spring.
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