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Hopkinsville Kentuckian. (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, July 14, 1906, Image 7

Image and text provided by University of Kentucky, Lexington, KY

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn86069395/1906-07-14/ed-1/seq-7/

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1r 1 N e w E ft Lt t 1
n i 4 ifPat tl t f
wlA JL JL A JL 1
f taW I
p Consists of pure white lead and zink
k aide ground in pure linseed oil the
J4binning vehicle consists of pure linseed
> ill turpentine and turpentine dryer
H f Weighs 17 A Pounds
i m ° x
9 Ihd containsa full United States
sfetidltfd gallon The best selected
lI elof paints and colors to be
pound in the city Also brushes and
> fqr your floors and furniture use
j Pttpte and Chinamel V
i > < V
r 1 t
> 1 l iive Us a Call
0i F r <
< t 4 r
x M if v nters Hardware Co
f So tH main St Hoplclnsville Ky
4 T
Theodore R Troeodle Coal Co
V Incorporated
VV c 4oa1 1
SpeCial Prices to
Yards corner 7th St and L N Ry
Opposite Crescent Mills
General Office Odd Fellows Building
Phones Cumberland Home 1145 770 and 739
1 1
Sou 111 vvvest
The Laud of BIG CROPS and
Are you making as much off your farm as you ought No doubt
you are making all yep CAN The trouble is the land costs too much
It takes top much money to buy a big farm and so you are trying to
make a living on a small farm or perhaps you are renting one and
paying a good share of what you raise in rent Wouldnt it be better
to go Where the price of good land is so little that you can own a big
V V farmwhere every acre of the ground is working for you and all you
raise is paying you good profits
There are thousands of acres of fertile land in the Southwest
V along the line of the Cotton Belt Route that can be bought for from
4 3 to 10 an acre This land is increasing in value each year
See the Southwest at Small Cost
A tftptothe Southwest would wntlnce yoU that your best Interests lay In settling there
The trip can bo made at very little expense On the first and third TUIII
C LUN days of each mouth you can purchase a round trip ticket to any point Inf
L Stopovers 1
TrT1 overs will be allowed for you toexamlne any locality you arc intereted lu
Write at once lor free copiesof books describing this wonderful country
countryB0 J
2t L Cf Barry T p A Colon BellRoUlo 82 Todd Bldg Louisville Ky
ByThree 1
Three trains daily between Henderson Owensboro j
Urtjjsvine and points East Excellent connections in
ttri yiUe for Frankfort Lexinftoiir Cincinnati and 1
cistern cities Elegant equipments on all trails Par
lot cure on day irains Pullman Vestibuled Sleepers
po nifbt tralM
L t lirwin G V AV L Garrett f P 1
y if wis t9 ctrWJi
TjOu1 flFNR w i
One day last week I was beating the
ballast up Broadway when Pete the
Piker declared himself in and began
to chatter about cinches at the track
Get the saw Pete and cut It I
Said its many a long day since Ive
been a Patsy for the ponies Once they
stung me so hard that for months my
bank account looked like a porous
plaster so I took the chloroform treat
ment and now you and your tips to the
I discards my boy to the discards
I Pete Isnt really a native of Dope
vlHeontherjbence but he likes to
have people think he knows the racing
game backwards
And he doesbackwards
In real life hes a theatrical manager
and his name on the threesheets is
Peter J Bedtime the Human Salary
Spoiler In theatrical circles they call him
the impresario with the sawdust koko
and the splitsecond appetite
Every time Pete poses as an angel
for a troupe if you listen hard you can
hear the fuse blow out somewhere be
tween Albany and Schenectady
From time to time over 2197 actors
have had to walk home on account of
Petes cold feet
Pete can develop a severe case of
frosted pave pounders quicker than
any angel that ever had to dig for the
oatmeal money
Pete Is an Ace all right the Ace of
His long suit when 11lsnt dishing
out his autobiography is to stand
around a race track and bark at the
Pete is what I would call a plunger
with the lid on
He never bets more than two dollars
on a race and oven then he keeps wish
ing he had it back
Pete had me nailed to the corner of
Broadway and 42d street for about ten
minutes when fortunately B gh Jef
ferson rolled up in his new k e
cart and I needed no second invltat n
to hop aboard and give Pete the happy
Whither away Bunch I asked
as the Bubble began to do a Togo
through the fattest streets In the town
I thought Id run up and get the
girls and take em for a spin out to the
Belmont Park races Bunch came
back Did you telephone them I in
No but I told Alice this morning
that if I got through at the office in
time Id take her to the track We can
call for Peaches on the way across I
town was Bunchs programme
Whisper Bunch I suggested 1
lets do the selfish gag for once and
leave the wives at home I havent bet
a nickel on a skate for too years but
my little black man haS the steering
wheel today and Im going to fall off
the sense wagon and break a five dol
lar bill
Im with you John chuckled
Bunch and halt an hour later we were
l I
Pete the Piker
on our way to nil track after having 1
sent notes to our wives that important
business kept us chained to the post of 1
duty but if they would meet us at the
Hotel Astor at seven p m wed all I
dine together c
Bunch had pust tied his Bubble to a
tree at the track and vaS in the act of
giving it a long cool drink of gasoiine
and solo cracked oats when Flash
Hartley bore on us and made a touch
for the turnout
Say Bunch chirped Flash lend
mo the choochoo for half an hour c
will you I have my sister and 1 j
dtouh cousin ot ours from Hartford
hero this aft and Im eager to show 1
them how I can pan ad a public road
with a rowd cart Ill take good care 1
pf tht machine t and be back In two j
tours heneat Bunch
fiIr I
Flash being an old friend of ours
Bunch had to fall for the spiel and
loaned him the Bubble fortwlth Y
Ten minutes later we were so buy
listening to the surethings falling
from the eager tongues of the i arloij3
friends we met that we quite forffptfjjtt
about Flash and the busy barouche
The first cinchbuilder we felt over
was Harry McDonough the inventor of
the stlngless mosquito now In use on
his Jersey farm
Harry has the mosquito game down
so fine that hos going to takea double
sextette of tnem Into vaudeville next
He has trained these twelve skeets
to sing Zobla Grassa and li Hol
brook has promised to teach them a
Venetian dance i
Harry offered us four winners In theI
first race and two cigars
He told us If we lost to smoke the
cigars carefully and wed forget our
troubles and our names but if we won
we could use the cigars as firecrackers
Then we ran across Jeff DAngells
the composer of the new tune now
playsdon the automobile horns
° Jeff hadnt picked out a horse to win
any race because his loyalty to sneeze
wagons Is BO intense that hewont
even drink a horses neck
He explained that he only came to
the race track to show tfre horsed ola
ambkebiiggy and make them shiver
George Yates the inventor of the
machinery for removing sunburn from
pickles was there and he tried to pre
sent us with a sure winner in the third
A little later on we discovered that
the horse Yates was doing a rave over
had been dead for four years and that
the card from which he was lifting his
dape was the programme of the meet
ft Sheepshead in 1896
Some kind and thoughtful stranger
had lifted fifty cents from Georges
surplus and in return had stung him
with an ancient echo of the pittypats
Our next adventure was with Joe
Miron the famous horse trainer and i
inventor of the only blue mare in cap
tivity at Elmhurst
> Say why didnt I see you guys be
fore the first race I had a plushcor I
ered pipe yelled Joe
I had that race beat to a stage I
wait Joe went on enthusiastically
Why all you had to do was play
The Goblin Man to win and Mur
derallo for a placeIt was just like
getting money from the patent medi
cine business
How much did you win Joe I In
quired Who me Joe came back Why
I didnt get here In time to place a bet
i drove over from Elmhurst and the
blue mare burst a tire But say Ive
got a mothers darling In the third
race Ob its a ladybug for certain
You guys play Perhaps to win and
youll go home looking like Pier p
Morgan after a busy day It cant
lose this clam cant Say that horse
Perhaps wears goldplated overshoes i
and it can kick more track behind It
than any ostrich you ever see Why i
Its got ballbearing castors on the <
feet and It wears a naphtha engine
In the forward turret Get reckless <
with the coin boys and go the limit i
and If the track happens to cave InI
and it does lose Ill drag you down
to Elmhurst behind the b lRtre and I
make the suction pump ro the back
yard do an Imitation of Walter Jones
singing Captain KIdd with the bumI
pipes Joe was so much in earnest about
It that Bunch and I put up fifty on
Perhaps and waited
We are still waiting
Perhaps may have been a good
horse but he had a bad memory and
never could recollect which end of the
track was the proper place to finish
Joe must have left for Elmhurst im
mediately after the race because he
failed to answer roll call
Then we ran across Dave Torrence I
the famous inventor of tho disappear
ing trump so much used by pinochle
playersWhen JJaye bogEfix to dope em out I
for us Bunch and I hid our pocket
books In our shoes J
There were tears In Bunchs eyesf
but 1 was busy looking for a rocltt
Heros a good one Dave suggest
or listen to this one Easy Monoyt
out of Life Insurance by Directort
And herds a good one Ohauffeur out J
of Automobile by PollcQinan Up
you earbfor thoset
Hero are some more poacherlhos
Dave went on relentlessly hero Is
Golf Player out of Business byE
Mosquito and heres another goodI
one Eternal Daylight out of Rueti
sla by Japan like em
Bunch and I handed Dave the re t
proachful face and fled for our lives t
Then we got down to business and
began to lose our money with more 1 r
system and less noise j
At the and of the fifth race we j
hadnt lIhe wJcf leather aandwlcl
be westus jv i
fivory log w TJfta tJU toM to thi
f > 6bkl > s proved to bo a false alarm
Every turp e plunged Ied
tj 1 mono f L bonfire Sin pe
it In < i
My 1tttj J man 1
Ing Bun 1 Im cu tt
One h dyedbad ty1 k1 to
tho Bunl mliii l d Bunch
I guess J ltt1dijl mporuI
iyqOIno on Jo thfJl thE
Bubble and dash hack i thd > 4IptP
Astor tho fgirls twill bo wflltfnj
for us V 1 >
Wo hurried to ti s spot where Flas b
but there was nQeiPd F1 i fl
machineVIP 1 b
Seven oclock came and still no jplgh
of Flash or the Bubble and tho we
sat two sad boys without a baubee In
the jeans hungry to tho limit apu
with an ever present vision of our
two worried wives displacing a bunch
ot expensive spare In a restaurant
while they waited for us to show
It was pitiful
Eight oclock came no Flash no
machine while there we waited and
watched our hair as It slowly turned
d 1r had gone through my pockets till
I wore holes in them without locat
ing anything in the shape of money
but finally on about the nine hundred
and nineteenth lap Bunch discovered
a dollar bill tucked away in a corner
whereupon we turned our faces to
every point of the compass and called
When I Got Home But Whats the
dawn maledictions on the head of
Flash Harvey wherever he might be
and then ducked for the trolley
° When we finally reached the Hotel
Astor it was a quarter past ten so
we decided it was too late for dinner
and we didnt go in
At homebut whats the use
The war is over now and a treaty
of peace has been signed
We are even with Flash Harvey
He got speedfoolish in the Bubble
and tried to give an imitation of a
torpedo destroyer with the result that
a Reub constable pinched him and the
whole outfit and threw him in a rural
bastile for the night
Thats what delayed him
Copyright 1901 by G W Dillingham Co
Last of Sixteen Bore What Was
Thought by Parents an Ap
propriate Handle
A speaker at one of the sessions of
the Philadelphia Methodist conference
tells this story which he says was
related tq him by Bishop Hartsell
The bishop while on a southern
tour met a darky who was the father
of 16 children the youngest of
whom was scarcely out of arms and
on asking him what the youngsters
name was received this reply Judas
Scarlot sah
You dont mean to tell me that
that is really his baptismal name do I
you asked the bishop
to Indeed I do sah aint dat a
scrlptral name
Yes but do you know who Judas
Iscarlot was
Course I does sah but doan de
Scripture say It would have been bet
ter for Judas Scarlot If he had never
been borned l
Yes but what has that to do with
this poor little chap
SDats Jest It sah dats jest It it
would have been better for dls poor
little chap if he had never been
borned and dats why we calls him
Judas Scarlot
Towns Made While You Walt
In the clearings the log house Is a
rarity because tho portable saw mill
goes along with the tlmberman and
sifts the log into framing and boards
for the dwelling while you wait And
the people are even In touch with the
world If they have no time to plant
telephone POt lI they nail the Insula
tor to trees nud run the wire through
tho woods In the old days of tho
Plains Woif the town was born
when the saloon the smlthshop and
the corner store threw open their
doors In this northwest the com
unity springs into existence with
everything ready for the daily life of
Its Inhabitants Noteonly arc the
Mores prepared for trade but the
schoolhouse la awaiting the children
the church Invites to Sunday worship
and It Is strange it the town newsp a
per does not eorao ofl the press to its
readers wUhla a month or BO after the
birth of tee futurq iJlijD H Brock
fc en ostllw Nwtftao
4 V
r V 1j 1 0
1 T
I I A <
r I gonry t
Wattera DI
Paper x t
J It
i The Weekly
l < i
4 And the
Both One
Year For
215 1
Few jtebpIerj4h6jJntt tI b
States have not heaidJqf Jth e
CourierJournal Democrat +
in all things fair in fill things
cfefnln all things it ig es
sentially a family paperH
Py a f SPECIAL arrange
ment we are enabled to offer
JOURNAL one year and this
paper for the orlce named
tion for the combination to usr
nOt to the Courier Journal
Illinois Central ReR d
The Illinois Central maintains
double daily service and operates
Cars BuffetLibrary Cars Chair
Cars and Sleeping Cars from
Chicago St Louis Cincinnati and
Louisville South to New Orleans
The best road for reaching the
Winter Tourist resorts of the South
New Orleans Vicksburg
Gulfport Miss Hammond La
MardiGras at New Orleans Feb
27 06 Gulfport is a Mexican Gulf
Coast resort having the new fine
Great Southern Hotel Regular
ocean steamship sailings from Newx
Orleans for Mexico Central Am
erican Panama West Indies an
Europe Send or call for descrip
tive matter in regard to the above
Havana via New Orleans t
Havana Caba is best reached
via the Illinois Central through
service to New Orleans and the
new ocean liner twinscrew nine
teen knot
S S Prince Arthur
eaving New Orleans every Wed
oesday at 400 p m and arriving
at Havana at sunrise Friday morn
Hot Springs Ark Floridat
Daily Sleeping Car without any
change Chicago to Hot Springs
with connections at Memphis from ii
Cincinnati and Louisville
Through Dixie Flyer Sleeping
Car Line St Louis to Jacksonville
via Nashville Chattanooga and At
Illinos Central Weekly Excur t
I sions to Calitornia Excursion cars
through to Los Angeles and San
Francisco as follows Via New
Orleans and the Southern Route
every Friday from Chicago every
everyruesday d
Louisville via Omaha and the
Scenic Route every Wednesday
from Chicago
Full particulars concerning al
of the above can be had of agents
of the Illinois Central and connect
ing lines or by
addressing the r
I either of the undersigned
J A SCOTT A G P Memphis
P T M Chicago G P A Cbicgo
Through Cars to New York
Via Pennsylvania Short Lines
Leave Louisville 1 p m daily pas 4
sengers go to New York without
stepping tram the train Meals re
quired en rout toPittaburg serv d
an dining cars a Ta carteUpay
only fpr what you order Wrjtfe to
C H Hagerty District Passenger
Lh J H
To Chicago By Daylight
Or through by Night V
From LouisvilleV
via Pennsylvania Short Lines
Leave 820 amS15 pr tn daily
Day trains have ibrary daft parlor
care private room teepiirv cars
Inquire of C H HagertyDlatrict
Passenger Agent Louisville Ky

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