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Humor
iiumor
titER MESSAGE TO SISTER SUE
nl
nlhrs Chatters Instructions to Hubby
Were Long Drawn Out
k i Henry dear said little Mrs Chat
tor to her husband while he was draw
Ing on his top coat preparing to make
v the rush for the train that was to take
feilm Into the c1tyUYou know our
4 > hone Isnt working this morning and
X do want to send Sister Sue a mes
sago In regard to meeting her this
afternoon hi the city Could you dear
ilng Sue up on your phone In the of
hce and give her a message from me
frou can as well as not Thank you
Sear Well tell her that If It doesnt
Act in to rain and if Cousin Em doesnt
f ogre to take me to ride In her auto
grie afternoon as she said she might
t you know how reckless Cousin Em
with her promises and It wouldnt
fJtlrprlse me If she never thought of it
gin but if she should come I dont
fsant to miss the ride and Ill try to
cot Sue on the phone by that time and
Jet her know if I go to ride or if Lib
bfo Brayton doesnt come over to have
mo help her on that programme we
are arranging for the benefit of the i
day nursery Tell Sue I will meet her
In the waiting room at Rldgeleydnt
S or it may be a quarter after or a
quarter before or if shed rather have I
jne meet her some place else tell her
o try to ring me up and let me know
1 guess our phone will be working by
jthat time Tell her it wasnt working
this morning and that is the reason I
didnt ring her up as I said I would
und tell her to try to think to bring
me my hatpin and my lace handker
chief that I left when we stayed all
night With her Monday night and ask
her if I didnt leave one of my gloves
there and tell her that after all I
think wed better meet at some place
other than Rldgeleys because that is
so far from where we are going and
ask her to try to think to bring me
the recipe for that new kind of cake
eve had at dinner Monday night for
Id like to try a loaf of it when we
have the Brynlys here to dinner Fri
day Yes yes of course you must get
your train dear Run along Only
Tie sure to ring Sue up and tell her
that shed better ring me about noon
nndgoodby Dont forget Puck
Future Peril
Terrified Passenger on ocean liner
Captain why Is the steamer going so
slowly and using Its searchlight
CaptainDont be alarmed madam
DDhe ship is in no danger But in a
fog like this we are always likely to
run Into somebodys blooming old bal
loon and make a nasty mess of it
Chicago Tribune
1
Proof
Gritty George Ah lady at one time
I was a prosperous dentist
Kind LadyHow can I believe you
my poor man
Gritty George How can you doubt
me mum Why even do dog shows
his teeth when I am around St
Louis PostDispatch
i
i
v A Dreaded Verdict
Mr Patterson as sounds of weeping
come from the laundry Gracious
dear Who Is that crying
Mrs PattersonThe washerwoman
John She has sued for divorce and is
afraid the judge will order her to pay
her husband alimony Lipplncotts
Magazine
Chief of Them All
uHe tried to flatter me but Im
proud to say he couldnt
No Youre a greater flatterer than
he is then arent you 1
How do you mean
You flatter J yourself that you cant
be flattered Catholic Standard and
Times
An Old Family I
You must bo proud of your ances
try Docs It go back very fart
uOll yes To the reign of terrier
Brownings Magazine
Tommys Regret
Tommy was about to leaye the school
where ho had spent his first year Ho
went to the teacher to say ° goodby null
added I am awfully sorry to leave
this school Ive had nucii good times
at recess Llpplncotts Magazine
A Useful Institution
Dp you bellevo in such a thing ns
luck Qf course answered MJss Cayounej
Otherwise it would bo impossibly tu
explain the success of people wo dnt
like Washington Star I
> Warms Enough j
wills J i tea me why you treat mo I
so coldly Miss Green I
There are quite n number at reaj
sons Mr Mushitv The flrJti is that I
r1rmf 1IW vnnJLt OlcvoInndIJlaln Deal II
er i
i Serious AHmenh
Yes said Mrs 4apHnlmr 1ms
band is much better now Fed nday
or two though ho was threatened with
tobaculoals of the lungfiChfcngo
ngojflrUU
i I
I THE CARPENTERS SERENADE i
A Qtlv
Ive hallways loveS your laughter
Oh window you lti tend to grant
The wish my hopes Met rafter
When first I sawyer srollo twas plane
1 wood reJolca to marry
Oh let us to the joiners hie
Nor longer shingle tarry
And now that 1 have axed yoU r dear
Plumb square and on the level
Ivo always wanted two by four
Dont spite hopes happy revel
The cornice la waving Peggy dear
Th gables all are ringing
ringingWhy you know
Im sawdust when Im singing I
Saturday Evening Post
Those Well Meaning Friends
The man who Is so glad to see you
j Brownings Magazine i
i
They Almost Fought
The angular chap who had been Jot
ting down notes on the margin of a
newspaper approached the stern faced
man in the waterproof collar
Beg pardon sir but could I ask you
a question
questionIf
If it isnt nonsensical
Well my memory isnt good of late
Who Invented the sewing machine
Howe Hm He must be a little deaf
Who invented the sewing machine
Howe
HoweGreat
Great Scott Id better get a trum
pet The old geezer is as deaf as he
can be Hey there who invented the
sewing machine
HoweThe
The angular chap leaned over and
curved his hands Then he whooped
For the last time who invented the
sewing machine
Howe Howe Mr Howe And
now if you ask me again blamed if I
dont thrash you within an inch of
your life Now get
And the angular chap gotOhi
sago News
NewsNot
Not Quite What She Meant
The young man who received the
following note from his fiancee would
have been better pleased if she had
employed a comma or two Jack
Huggard called yesterday Jack
couldnt have heard of our engage
ment for before leaving he proposed
1 told him I was sorry I was engaged
to you
oJ =
Just a I
I
Minute
is all the time it takes
to call me up over the
phone and give me
your order I am do
ing business at the old
Forbes Coal Yard
corner 13tli and Rail
road streets handling
theBest
Best Kentucky Coal
and GASOLINE in
any quantity you de
sire Will give all or
ders prompt atten
tion Fred Jackson
Coal Dealeri
1
v
Cumb Phone 59 Home Phone 1569
Aayoae sending a sketch and deealpUon real
t tt r ththern
invention le proballly patentable om mUll ICfto
tIoaeatrlcUyoonadentlsl MANDB on Iateata
tent frea Oldest aconcy lor ftecurlng patents
Patents taken through Mnnn A core tTe
tptclal neki without charscs t12
inpcaiiA
A handsomely ltleetratedwee kjr 1srae Ir
uUtlou of anj icIanUBcJouroiU lenuU
fo
trt touratvnbil c dpyaltk4sdeMee
i t c4Jm
e vh Lti ax
iUl
lEiI 21 W
tJ WINTERAnd
IsJJ HAND Ii
oJl And the question of Coal will > be rj a live issue for
the next five months Let us fill your coal house IE
It r
1 WITS rKJI L
1I Celebrated
j OAK HILL
iCOAL
There is no
Better COAL i
on Market the jt I
itA Trial is All That is Needed to Convince You Ii
f r9 AI JiAIIA L A li
4HL + Vylam
Corner Second Ave and L N Railroad Gumb Phone J68 It
Ite
PUBLIC SALE
Having sold my farm I will sell at PUBLIC
OUTCRY at my late home the M F WIN
FREE place NEAR 0 ASK Y on
Wednesday Dec 2 7 1908 f
the following property
30 Head of Horses and Mules Binders
Mowers Drills Plows single and double 3
Wagons and Harness Cultivators and vari
ous implements Tools etc
Also 40 Tons Clover Hay and 75 Bbls
CornTerms 0 iic V K
Terms made known on day sale
Hugh Hammock
R R NO2 PEMBROKE KY
LOWNow
Now
A
SUMMER
The place to get a good
BUSINESS EDUOATION
to prepare for a GOOD
RATE
POSITION and tot ready for THE RUSH of the fall business Is AT
RAUGHONS PRACTICAL BUSINESS COLLEGE
INDORSED by business tin from Maine to California Catalogue FREE ask for IT
Incorporated
Paducah Evansville Nashville Memphis St Louis or Dallas
J
o W
I A Free Trip to Ewansville and Return
K t3 m mmjM t nn
i W K i t
VE6V BUSINESS DAY IN THE YEAR ON
ALL RAILROADS STEAMBOATS AND TRACTION ROADS
Come t q Evansville to do your shopping The Members of the Retail Merchants Rebate Associationwill
pay your fare both ways under the conditions specified belowand besides you have the great advantage
advantageof
merchandisethan
G
TO GET YOUR FARE REFUNDED THROUGH THE ASSOCIATION BUY ONLY FROM MEMBERS
C Ift WHOSE NAMES ARE LISTED BELOW I
t
r
MEMBERS
C r
ARTES CHAS F Jewelry I
BITTERMAN BROS Jewelry >
BLACKMAN LUNKEN
HEIMER Queensware
Ifr
BARNETT CHEAP STVORE
Ladies Furnishings sK1 rtsi
1 w
Cloaks i
t
COOK GROCERY CO Groceries
I DEJONGS lbloaks Suits Pure
Goods
Ii EVANS SiG A CO Dry Goocls
WALKERi
IIDepartment Store Millinery
Cloaks Etct 1
I 4lFRENCHwM
pets Etc Z vI
Caret
IIr t Etc 1
FINKE FURNITURE CO Fur r
nibrcI M V tf
C UM BE RTS LOU I S Jewelry >
GEISSLER GW SHOE CO
Shoes > +
RAAS SETpyER Menf Fury
1111 nishings and Clothing
r 0H 1 Yt 1 7v i ir J rr
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> fiV
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JUST ASr ril i
y
r MUCH i 4 + t
I JP r
S INTERESTE > j
µ I iJ
yln fitting you out with a satisfac
tory and becoming hat as you are
yourself Every hat we sell must
be a continuous advertisement
for us Our aim is not only iJ
sell you your hat but to please
xkt you as wellso that you will come
tI back to us when you want an
ff d other one Our stock lSJa rras
I < t3 vsbrtment varied and above asI
aboyeaJlI i >
h t 41Iii J ° + tsW J t i Itn I
iJ R Miss Fannie BRbg Jr r
11 1 it f210 South Main Street 11 j 1
J
Two Hundred Thousand Families
The intellectual aristocracy of America
have one rule in magazine buying
n The Review of Reviews first
> because it is a ncessityni 1
c
ko
S
SEND
fORA
SAl1PLB
SAl1PLBcorr
The 1eoiew Reviews
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deals wholly with serious subjects and is accepted as the best
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NEITHER MUCI RAKES NOR HIDES FACTS
With Dr Albert Shaws monthly Progress of the World with the
cartoon history of tim month with the timely contributed articles on
onI
vat of nil tC other iiiigazined ut the world for you with the cbarac
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YOU Ii CST SE3 OUR BOOK OF MAGAZINE BARGAINS
Before ordering for next year It contains forty pages of special
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will ehow Von ho vta save rnr > y on your Christmas buying
This btcrciugarJ uoneysavlnj catalogue is FREE
l
j
I L The Review of Reviews Company 13 Astor Place New York
THE PLAN
j To customers coming a distance not exceeding
A 40 miles the Association will refund fares both ways
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The above rule applies also tov customers coming
a distance of more than 40 miles in such instances
the round trip fare for 40 miles will be refunded tHe
thecustomer
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If the amount of the purchases are less than
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flmded <
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tf
A
MAGAZINE
LIBRARY IN ONE
MAGAZINE
MEMBERS
HENNESSY ROBINSON CO I
Dry Goods Millinery Cloaks
Etc
HUGHES WM Millinery Cloaks
Etc
JOURDAN LOESCH Furni
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KIM BALL PIANO COtPianos
KRUCKEMEYER f COHN
Jewelryfi <
LAHRBACON CO Departmen
Store Dry Goods Cloaks Etc
MILLER H F CO Dry Goods
POCKET SHOE CO Shoes
4f
R G FURNITURE CO Fur
niture 1
SAMPSON R E Mens Furnish
FurnishIngs
SALM BROS Ladies Furnish
ings Millinery
SCHLAEPFERr Drugs Etctr
IllFurs
Furs
I c
Ir minings Clothing vVHorns yUt Irl
IIrl
WALKOVER SHOE CO Shoes fUj
EVANSVILLE RETAIL MERCHANTS REBATE ASSOCIATION r
1
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t
If P t
t o
a p
r rc 4 r i
k
Y
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