THE ADAIh COUNTY NEWS
.u2fl
A FranK Confession.
Friends and neighbors: t am
grateful for past favors, and
having supplied my store with a
fine line of choice wines and
liquors, allow me to inform you
thatl shall continue to make
drunkards, paupers and beggars
for. the sober, industrious, re
spectable part of the community
to support. My whiskies will
excite riot, robbery and blood
shed. They will diminish your com
forts, increase your expenses
and shorten life. I shall confi
dently recommend them as sure
to multiply fatal accidents and
incurable diseases.
They will deprive some of life,
others of reason, some of charac
ter, and all of peace. They will
make fathers fiends, mothers
widows, children orphans, and
all poor. I will train your sons
in infidelity, dissipation, igno
rance, lewdness, and every oth
er vice. I will corrupt the min
isters of religion, obstruct the
gospel, defile the church, and
cause as much temporal and
eternal death as I can. I will
thus "accommodate the public,"
it may be at the loss of my
never-dying soul, but I have a
family to support the business
pays and the public encourages
it.
I have paid my license and the
traffic is lawful and if I don't sell
it somebody else will. I know
the Bible says: "Thou shalt not
kill." "No drunkard shall enter
the kingdom of heaven," and I
do not expect the drunkard-maker
to fare any better, but I want
an easy living, and I have re
solved to gather the wages of in
iquity and fatten on the ruin of
my species.
I shall therefore carry on my
business with energy, and do my
best to diminish the wealth of
the nation, and endanger the
safety of the State. As my bus
iness flourishes in proportion to
your sensuality and ignorance, I
will do my best to prevent moral
purity and intellectual growth.
Should you doubt my ability,
I refer you to the pawn shop, the
poor house, the police court, the
hospital, the penitentiary, and
the gallows, where you will find
many of my best customers have
gone. A sight of them will con
vince you that I do what I say.
Allow me to inform you that you
are fools and I am an honest sa
loonkeeper. J. J. McMurtrey.
The above, with type en
larged, is an exact copy of Mr.
McMurtrey 's business card,
Flagstaff, Arizona. His place is
called "The Temple Saloon."
On the reverse side he styles him
self "Dealer in whiskies, wines,
beer and cigars. " This is a good
message to saloon apologists
among business men, and to
those poor, deluded souls who
"can drink or let it alone."
The Telescope, Dayton, Ohio.
The
Scrap Book
Couldn't Stick Him Again.
A bishop, accosted in Fifth avenue.
New York, by a neat but hungry stran
ger, took the needy one to a hotel and
shared a really fine dinner with him.
yet, having left his episcopal wallet in
the pocket of a different episcopal
jacket, suddenly faced the embarrass
ment of not possessing the where
withal to pony up.
"Never mind." exclaimed his guest:
"I have enjoyed dining with you. and
I shall be charmed to shoulder the
cost Permit me." Whereupon the
stranger paid for two.
This worried the prelate, who in
sisted. "Just let me call a cab and
we'll run up to my hotel, where 1 shall
have the pleasure of reimbursing you."
But the stranger met the suggestion
with. "See here, old man, you've stuck
me for a bully good dinner, but I'll be
hanged if I'm going to let you stick
me for car fare!'
"God Bless My Mother!"
A little child with flaxen hair
And sunlit eyes so sweet and fair,
Who kneels when twilight darkens all.
And from those loving lips there fall
Tho accents of this simple prayer:
"God bless God bless my mother!"
A youth upon life's threshold wide.
Who leaves a gentle mother's side.
Tet keeps enshrined within his breast
Her words of warning, still the best.
And whispers when temptation tries,
"God bless God bless my mother!"
A white haired man who gazes back
Along life's weary, furrowed track
And sees one face an angel now
Hears words of light that led aright.
And prays with reverential brow,
"God bless God bless my mother!"
Hit Him With the Text.
"On a visit to Scotland I went to the
old United Presbyterian kirk at Sa
voch," said a clergyman, "and 1 heard
a good story about a former minister.
His name was the Rev. David Caw.
and he was very diminutive, standing
only about five feet two inches. lie
led to the altar a strapping, handsome
lass some five or sis inches taller than
he, and her name was Grace Wilson.
"The Sunday after the wedding he
got a neighboring minister to preach
for him. so that he could sit with his
bride on the first Sunday. The minis
ter was a good deal of a wag. so Mr.
Caw made him promise faithfully that
he would not allude in his sermon to
himself, his bride or the fact of the
marriage. The wag gave the promise
that in his sermon he would make no
allusion of that kind whatever, but Mr.
Caw nearly sank through the floor
when the text was given out
Ephesians iii, S. 'Unto me, who am
less than the least of all saints, is this
Grace given.' "
Poor Defenseless Men.
A certain painter in New York,
though' he is still a young man and
looks younger, has a way of winning
prizes at National Academy exhibi
tions and such; also he has a studio
near Central park. The other day he
went into the park with the sort of
paraphernalia artists use when they go
sketching. He picked out a place to
suit him, set up his workshop and fell
to very earnestly. Presently he was
aware of something behind him some
thing with eyes. He looked up. There
stood a smartly dressed young lady,
aged five or thereabouts. She was
frankly interested in what he was do
ing and met his gaze without embar
rassment. "Do you mind if a little girl looks
over your shoulder?" she said.
"Not if she is a good little girl." re
plied the artist politely, and went on
with his painting. It was some time
before he looked up again. The young
lady of five was still there. She caught
his eye and bent toward him with ah
eager, coaxing smile.
"What do the naughty little girls say
to you?" she whispered. New York
Post
Mme. Loubet's Corset Mystery.
A capital story is being told in Paris
of M. Loubet. The other afternoon a
friend saw the ex-president seated in
his carriage on the boulevards Quite
two hours later the friend happened
to pass again. Loubet was still there.
Approaching the carriage, the passerby
inquired: "Well, Emile. you have more
leisure nowadays than you know what
to do with. And madaine?" "Mme.
Loubet." echoed 'the ex-president
"she's quite well. . She's in there-;has
been for two hours." pointing to the
shop. It was "Au Corset Mystere."
"It will be a mystery to me." added
Loubet. "if she gets fitted by dinner.
She certainly won't after." New York
Sun.
Slayer and Sleigher.
In the first number of the Atlantic
Monthly Ralph Waldo Emerson had a
poem called "Brahma." which puzzled
both critics and common readers.
Some said it was the greatest poem of
the century. Some said it was non
sense. The first verse ran as follows:
If the red slayer think he slays.
Or if the slain think he is slain,
They know not well the subtle ways
I keep and pass and turn again.
That winter it happened that a rela
tive of the poet Longfellow, living in
another state, bought a sleigh, and in
a family letter to the cousins in Cam
bridge there was a wail lest the Janu
ary thaw which had followed the pur
chase should keep them from enjoying
ihe gay cutter that season. When the
letter was answered Longfellow con
Mbuted this verse:
TO ON THE PURCHASE OF A
SLEIGH.
If the red sleigher think he sleighs.
Or if the sleighln think It is sleighin.
They know not well the subtle ways
Of snow, that comes and goes again.
BORE HIS HONORS MEEKLY.
Likewise the Substantial Trimmings
That Went With Them.
While he was attache of the British
embassy in Washington the late Henry
Labouchere, when a young man,
turned up in New York one day
hungry and penniless.
At noon, with his usual reckless dar
ing, he entered a Broadway chop
house one Muldoon's and ordered a
modest meal. But he had no idea how
he would pay for this meal. Perhaps
he would leave his hat or boots in
pledge for it. As he pondered the
matter he noticed that the waiters,
who were staring at him oddly, were
all Irishmen. Were the waiters j
aware of his lack of funds? His
luncheon seemed strangely long in
coming. But just then a waiter bent
over him and whispered i
"I beg pardon, sir. but are you the j
patriot Meagher?"
Now. Meagher. Labouchere knew. I
had aided Smith O'Brien in his Irish j
rising, had been deported to Australia
and had escaped thence to New York, j
The ready young man. in answer to i
cue waiter s question, put ms loreunger
upon his lip. "Hush." he murmured.
And he looked around the room cau
tiously. It was at once felt that Labouchere
was the patriot Meagher. And so the
choicest wines were set before him,
and, in place of the modest chop he j
had ordered, a luncheon of nine or ten
elaborate courses was brought on.
At the end, lighting one of the estab
lishment's finest cigars, Labouchere de
manded his bill. His waiter smiled,
retired and soon came back with a
big. handsome man the proprietor
himself. The proprietor, bending over
the youth, said earnestly
"From one like you. a sufferer in the
good cause. 1 can take no money. It
has been a privilege to serve you. sir.
Permit a brother patriot to shake you
by the hand."
And Labouchere shook hands with
the proprietor and with the dozen
waiters and stalked forth into the cold
world with the stern, sad. but indomi
table look which it seemed to him that
an exiled patriot should wear.
Aspiration.
Did you ever hear of a man who
had striven all his life faithfully and
singly toward an object and in no
measure obtained it? If a man con
stantly aspires is he not elevated?
Thoreau.
Willis Is Barking.
Edward Dulwer Lytton Dickens, the
youngest sou of the novelist, emigrated
to Australia and died in Sydney at the
age of fifty -one. He represented a con
stituency in the parliament of New
South Wales for six years. Once when
he was addressing the house in Sydney
he was again and again snappishly in
terrupted by a member named Willis
At last Mr. Dickens stopped to remark:
"Mr. Speaker, my father coined a fa
mous phrase. 'Barkis is willin'.' Un
der present circumstances I am strong
ly tempted to reverse it and say. 'Wil
lis is barking.' " The house laughed,
and the iuti'rruptions ceased.
Disfigurement Explained.
One day an El Dorado man met up
with a citizen who evidently had had
trouble. His lip was split open, and
two of his front teeth were missing.
His left eye was entirely closed, and
his right orb of vision was surrounded
by a deep border of blue black color.
"Been fooling around a mule?" cheer
fully asked the El Dorado man.
"Nope." gloomily replied the man
with the split lip "I saw a man yes
terday, and we got to taikin' about
wv
" a o o a I m 3P-
jooo( j2
i
1 "THAT'S WHAT I TOLD HIM."
I
! Kansas and other-states. He said to
! me thatKansas is no good; that any
man is a fool who will live in this
state."
The El Dorado man flared up at
once. "The man is a liar."
"Yes." said the disfigured man sadly;
"that's what I told him." Kansas City
Star.
Well Countered.
Andre de Fouquieres. the cotillion
leader of Paris, is. like most cotillion
leaders, very gentle and mild of man
ner. .During M. de Fouquieres' visit to
New York a well known matron, after
talking to him for some ten or fifteen
minutes at a dance, said:
"Now, trot along. M. de Fouquieres.
You're altogether too ladylike for mel"
The young Frenchman, rising, an
swered: "I'm sorry I can't say the same for
you. madam." Exchange.
r n
A Permanent
Chronic
Although those may dispute it who
have not tried it, yet thousands of
others, who speak from personal experi
ence, assert that there is a permanent
euro for chronic constipation. Some
testify they were cured for as little as
fifty cents, years ago, and that tho
trouble never came back on them, while
others admit they took several bottles
before a steady cure was brought about.
The remedy referred to is Dr. Cald
well's Syrup Pepsin. It has been on
tie market for over a quarter of a
entury and has been popularized on Its
merits, by one person telling another.
The fact that its strongest supporters
ire women and elderly people the ones
most persistently constipated makes it
certain that the claims regarding it as
a, permanent cure for constipation have
not been exaggerated.
It is not violent like cathartic pills,
salts or waters, but operates gently,
PioRett.
W. C. Rorlgers, who has been
down wich 'fever for several
weeks, is better.
Uncle Bill Pickett, who has
been blind for several years, died
on the 22nd, T914, at his son's in
Metcaifecounty, and was buried
in the Pickett cemetery. He was
buried by the Masons, funeral by
his pastor.JBro. Christie.
J. H. JRodgersMre turned from
Columbia Monday evening where
he had been as a special juror in
a murder case.
Born, to Ithe wife of Philip
Pickett a few days ago a son.
VV. H. Kemp, who was one of
the Board of Supervisors, re
turned home a few days ago.
Mr. Allen Parson, who has
been our!huxster for some time,
has givenjup the job to Abe Par
son.
Mr. Alex Estes has moved to
this place to run a blacksmith
shop.
Miss Mary Pickett is teaching
a subscription shool here with
several pupils.
Birdseve view ol our Plant
"Largest
W. J.
. Hughes & Sons Co.,
Incorporated
Louisville, Kentucky.
WHOLESALE
Windows, -Doors, Blinds, Mouldings, Columns,
j Stair Work, Brackets,
EVERYTHING IN
R. OO F P G
Asphalt, Gravel, Rubber, Galvanized
and Printed.
Also Elwood and American Fence.
Steel Fence Posts
DEHLER BROS. CO-
Incorporated
112-116 Eaat Malhet Street, Between Firsthand Brook
Louisville, Ky.
Cure For
Constipation
without griping and without shock to
the system. It contains tonic proper
ties that strengthen the stomach and
bowel muscles so that in time medicines
of all kinds can be dispensed with and
nature is again solely relied on.
Among the legions who testify to these
facts are J. F. Blankenship, Sharon. Tenn.,
and Beulah I. Rogers, Kosmosdale. Ky ,
and they always have a bottle of it in the
house, for it is a reliable laxative for al'
the family from infancy to old age.
Anyone wishing to make a trial of thi.s
remedy before buying it jn the regular
way of a druggist at fifty cents or one
dollar a large bottle (family size) can
have a sample bottle sent to the homo
free of charge by simply addressing Dr.
W. B. Caldwell. 405 Washington St.,
Monticello, 111. Tour name and address
on a. postal card will do.
Meal is selling at $1.00 per
bushel at G. W. Dudley's.
Mr. Simon Hunn left one day
last week to attend school at
Bowling Green.
Mr. Van Whitlock, of Bliss, is
attending schocl at this place.
Mr. George Whitlock, a gro
cery drummer, of C-ville, was
here one day last week.
Mr. G. W. Dudley and Mr. Ot
tie Franklin have swapped horses
three times within last few days.
Willie Stults. of Springfield,
111., returned home a few days
ago on a visit.
There are lots of railroad ties
to be hauled this year from this
section.
Me3srs. A. G and H. A. Moss,
of Greensburg, attended the fun
eral of uncle Bill Pickett here
one day las week.
Don't you Believe It
Some say that chronic constpation
cannot be cured. Don't you believe it
Chamberlain's Tablet have cured others-why
not you? Give them atrial.
They cost only a quarter. For sale by
Paull Drug Co . - Ad.
si
.Jgg&tfp ss
in Dixie"
Etc. Write forour Catalog
PTTV' .'-; '..'J
left me with a frfehtful coush and
) SI very weak. 1! had spells when I could
hardly breathe or speak lor 10 to 20 1
minutes. Aly doctor could not help
me, but I was completely cured by
DR. KING'S
New Discovery
Mrs. J. E. Cox, Joliet, 111.
50c AND $1.00 AT ALL DRUGGISTS.
C. D. Crenshaw
VETERINARY SURGEON
Special Attnetin .n E)es
Fistulo, Poll-evil, Spavin or any sur
gical work done at fair prices 1 am
well fixed to take care of stock. Alon
ey due when work is done or stock
removed from stables.
LOCATION' SEAR ED HUGHES' RESIDED.
ON' BURKSVILLE STREET.
Joseph H. Stone,
Attonev-At-Law
3 Will practice m
this and adjoining counties.
Jamstown, : Kentucky
A Splendid
Clubbing Bargain
We. Offer
The Adair County
News
And
The Cincinnati
Weekly Enquirer
Both One
Year
For Onl
v pLo5
SHb.scrlprlon.s may br
new or renevjl
What The Weekly Enquirer Is
It is issued every Thursday, SubeertptioB prk
per year, and it ia one of the bast home met
ropolitan weeklies of to-day. It has al tbe facili
ties of the great DAILY ENQUIRER for attain
ing tbo World's events, and for that reason can
give you all the lea 1 ng news. It carries a great
amount of valuable farmmattr. erispt editorials
and reliable up-to-date market reports. 13 nu
merous departments make a necessity te every
home, form or business raa
Tnis grand offer is limited and we advke you te
taKe advantage by subscribing for tbeabevecors
bination right now. Call or mail orders te,
THE ADAIR COUNTY NEWS-
;g. p. smythe
for
REINSURANCE
and
real;estate
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G && -rtSv'vF'SVra j3h, ?
li v &J7 JL 5 2 L.?
SfJade A Stew ?;ar Cf H'm.
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stomach, head and jack. ' -r Jw i:. 4
T. Alston, Raleir.K A v -a.. r- A
liver and kidnejs aid 11m r :. .-.g.. . .
butfourbottk-sot EJec-'C l5"--?'
made me feeJ 'ko a i.c,.' uiua.' ji
price 50 cts, j all w :. ;:: j
I keep Ion hands a full stock of
coffins, caskets, and robes. I also keep
Metallic Caskets, and Steel Boxes and
two hearses. Prompt service night or
day. Residence Phone 29, office
Phone 98.
45-1 yr J. F. Triptett,
Ad, Columbia, Ky.
jm '."-LAJT.i-ryry
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