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Mount Vernon signal. (Mt. Vernon, Ky.) 18??-current, January 05, 1900, Image 4

Image and text provided by University of Kentucky, Lexington, KY

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Which Accounted for His Inability
to Remove the Grensc
A young feUow on the South side has a
negro valet an oldfashioned sDutncrn
darkyHere Jeff I want those trousers cleaned
arid pressed today he said pointing to a
rather loudstripea garment that Jiii has
long had his eyes on
All right sahsaicl Jeff with a sighL
Next morning Jeff brought the trousers
back with a big grease spot still prominent
on one knee
Cant you get that spot out said the
owner of the trousers
No sah
Did you try turpentine
JI JFo de Lawd I done sacchurated em
wid turpentine
Did you try coal oil
i Yes sah poed a quart ob ile on em
Did you try a hot iron
Puty nigh bunt em up
i Done tried benzine an kerosene and all
de other zines au taint tech dat grease
Well did you try em on queried the
master with a twinkle in his eye
Yes sahreplied Jeff with alacrity
an deys a puffect lit grease spot an all
sakChicago Inter Ocvan
Tle Boy on the ImcItKhund
This is what the boy wrote about the
dachshund The dacfishoUnd is a dog not
withstandin appeerencies lie has fore legs
two in front an two behind an they aint
on special terms I wunst made a decks
hound out ofa cowcumber an fore matchis
an it looks as nachral as life Docks
hounds is fairly intelligent considerin there
shaip Thare brains bein so fur away from
lliare tales it bothers them sum to wag the
lattur J wunst noo a docksliound who wuz
too impashunt to wate till he cood signal
the hole length of his boddy when he wanted
to wag his tale so he maid it up with hi
tale thet when fIe wanted it to wag he would
shake his right ear an when the tale seen
it shake it wood wag Jut as forme gimme
a Chronicle bull witha pedd greeChicago
Cheerfully Indorsed
She handed the ohcck to the paying teller
She was calm and collected as if it was an
everyday matter
Madam said the teller gently you
have forgotten to indorse it
T it with a little worried smile
back here to show that you will repay this
bank in case the issuer of this check should I
fail to answer our call
tOh she said accepting the pen
t When the teller looked at the check again
thin is what he read
it owes and you need have no worry There
fore I indorse this check Very truly yours
1Mrs J B Blanks Syracuse Herald
A Favorable Notice
Wright Old Dreiboans book is having a
m wonderful sale
< PennerYou surprise me Of course the
book has merit but its the driest kind of a
scientific treatise
1True But some one of the reviewers re
ferred to it as an immortal work and the
Before and After
for two people to live as cheaply as one
Wcderly Before I married I read all the
statistics I could find on the subject and I
was convinced that they could but
< Well
After marrying made a few statistics of
my own then changed my mind Chicago
Evening News
IImpossibleIn this third act said the
stage manager you must show that you I
are violently in love with the heiress
How can twliled the walling gent
when I know that she is drawing ten dol
lars less than I am Philadelphia North
Money talks but unless you have plenty of
PressUse h
I I have used Ayers Hair
Vigor for n great many years
and it hs been very satisfactory
to me in every way I have
recommended it to a great many
of my friends and tney have all
Been perfectly satisfied with it1t
Mrs A Edwards San Fran
cisco Cal Feb 9 1899
About It
Thats always the way with
our JHair Vigor When per
sons use it they are always so
highly pleased with it that they
tell their friends about it
If your hair is short too
thin splits at the ends is rough
or is falling out our Hair Vigor
will perfectly satisfy you
youIf a little
gray or perfectly white Ayers
Hair Vigor wilt bring back to it
all the dark rich color it had
years and years ago All 100 drafgfst a bottle
4Write the Doctor
ti If you do not obtain all the benefits you
desire from the uso of the Vigor write
the Doctor about it Ho will tell you just
the right thing to do and will send you
request it Address
Dr J c ATEB Lowoll Mass
lI i91ii t FOR
Best Cough Syrup Tastes Good Usa
in time Sold by druggists
QJ 0 D
I r
They Will Organize Both Housen oi
the Kentucky Iicgislatnrc A
Caucus Meeting
Frankfort KyM lan 2AlI doubt
as to the ability of the Goebel demo
c rats to organize both houses fof the
legislature was demonstratcdby the
attendance in the democratic caucus
onday night In the house caucus
all of the 58 democrats answered to
roll call and participated In the
senate four democrats remained out
They were Senators Alexander Hays
Oillespie and Roberts Senator Hill
was sick and absentbut is not classedt
with the dissenters
In the senate caucus Senator Her
old created a sensation by making
an alleged expose of the antiGocbel
leaders declaring that he had been
approached by J II Whallen of Lou
ifcville and paid 4500 to remain out
of the caucus The money he said
had been placed in a box with the
Louisville Trust Co the key to which
be passed up to Senator Goebel who
was presiditig over the caucus ending
hit speech by declaring that he had
entered into the deal for the pur
pose of exposing Whallen and fur
ther that there was not money enough
in the world to make him disloyal to
his party and his state
It is very probable that Senator
Goebel who is the contesting candi
date for governor will be the presi
dent pro tern of the senate While
Lieut Joy Marshall will be the reg
ular presiding officer Goebel in the
event of his election will preside in
case of appeals from the decision of
the lieutenant governor
Gen Wat Hard in mixed with the
throng Monday and appealed to his
close friends in the legislature to re
main out of the democratic caucus
Attorneys for Goebel and contest
ing democratic candidates for minor
offices Monday afternoon served no
tices upon the contestees to take depo
sitions to be used as evidence in the
contest eases and naming their wit
nesses The list of witnesses includes
a long array of prominent men in
both the republican and antiGoebel
parties like Coy Bradley Senator De
DOe Gen Basil W Duke John II
Whallen and others
Senator Goebel was nominated by
the senate caucus for president pro
tern Claude Desha for chief clerk and
William Cromwell for assistant clerk
The entire slate of the Goebel organ
iation for places in the senate went
South Trimble of Franklin county
was nominated for speaker of the
house on the 15th ballot Cantrill of
Scott was the candidate of the > rig
inal Goebel men and Trimbles nom
ination was therefore pleasing to the
clement which supported P Wat Hari
din for the nomination for governor
The republicans decided Monday
night to hold a conference Tuesday
and nominate a straight republican
slate of candidates This action was
taken when it became apparent the
republican antiGoebel coalition could
not organize either house
A warrant has been issued for tho
arrest of John II Wballen charging
him with attempting to bribe Sena
tor llerold Whallen is in the city
Kentucky Popnlistn Meet
Uussellville Ivy Jan 2Pursuant
I to call the populists met Monday
I Middle of the road chairman and sec
retary were elected This means that
the populists of Kentucky will be
against Bryan and all the democratic
congressman in the state A number
of leaders informed a press corre
spondent that they intended to go it
alone in every instance This action
will almost certainly give the elec
toral vote of Kentucky to McKinley
this yea r
Almost n Gorge in the Ohio
Louisville Ivy Jan 2 Business on
the Ohio river has been entirely sus
pended on account of the heavy flow
cf ice which almost amounted to a
gorge Neither freight nor passenger
I tralTic has been moved and all ferry
boats are tied up Everything in the
shape of water craft has sought cover
und it is hardly likely that there will
be a movement for some time
Came to Life Again
Lexington Ky Jan 2Virgia Lee
an 18yearold colored girl of South
Upper street appeared to die Sunday
night Three hours later while prep
arations were being made for her
burial she came to life and is now
in a fair way to recovery
Louisville Assessment
Louisville Ivy Jan 2The total
assessment for Louisville and Jeffer
son county for the year 1900 as fixed
by County Assessor W J Semohin is
12IjG47G8 Of this the realty is 100
408070 and the personalty 26233693
Grand Master Baker Dead
Paducah Ky Jan 2John W Ba
ker grandmaster in Kentucky of the
Ancient Order of United Workmen
tljed Monday of dropsy at the age ofI
5f Mr Baker was
manager of the
W M Clarke Tobacco Co
A New Kentucky Editor
Owenton Ky Tan 2F C Greene
I I has succeeded JIonEmmett Orr Owen
ture as editor of the Owen News
Her Burns Were Fatal
Carlisle Ky Jan 2The infant
daughter of Sam Cannon was burned
so badly by her clothes catching fire
Friday that she has since cued
Baby Swallowed a Botton
Columbua 0 Jan The five
moDthsold son of Grapt Vai > Xlorn
died Monday as a r suhfof suvljow
lug a collar button which
vhich1odgti1 in 1
tht childs esophagus An oporatiorr
CftHeiHu reUf V
k >
1 D 0 YOU realize gentlemen said
Smith as the members of the lcahb
peekog club gathered around the eveninga
fire that this is to be our last evening to
gether in these woods for at least a yearp
Tomorrowour vacation in the Iuskolm lakeq
district ends and by tomorrow evening if
nothing unlooked for happens we will have
nailed up the door of the clubhouse reeled
in our lines for the last time this year storedb
our boats and the night train on the Grandn
Trunk will be carrying us swiftly back to
the states and to our various vocations
Without going into particuars or men
tioning names it has seemed to me that this
would be an excellent time to confess our
prevarications so that we may quit this beau
tiful spot with a clear conscience 1 would
suggestTo what do you refer Brother Smiths
asked the Pastor
To put it in plain English said Smith
1 think we have all lied more or less and
that now would be a good time to tell thel
I presume that you realize that there
are exceptions to that statement ofaU
Brother Smith said the Pastor Now
I made no exceptions and intended
none said Smith As for myself1 am here
to state now that 1 have lied lied as bigt
as I knew how and still make it a lie thatc
might believed and I guess you fellows
swallowed it without much question
1 have not believed a single thing joti
have said about fish since you have been
here said the Pastor
Nor 1echoed the otherst
The biggest lie that I have told since Is
have been here was that one about the
number of bass Yorker and 1 caught in
Healey lake We were trying to outdo the
Pastor and did so far as the lie was con
cerned and if he did not believe our story
it was because his own was not true WThatn
I shall have to refer this matter to the
congregation when we reach home Brother
Smith1lmt in the Pastor
J would advise you not to replied
Smith but as 1 was going to say what
we did catch that day was all in the boat
when we returned and as several members
of this club counted them it will not be dis
puted when I say there were 138 bass of
over the legal length
It was only T28 for J counted them to
ether with Husky Hills < id Tice
What is the matter of ten bass more or
less anyway replied Smith But there
gentlemen in my confession 138 bass in
stead of the five or six hundred that I told
about and I believe that every one will feel
better if they follow my example
I believe that the advice Smith gives us
is good said Yorker and 1 realize now as
1 never did before the enormity of the lie I
told in reference to the muskellunge I caught
in Crane lake
You dont need to make any confession
ot that said the Pastor for everybody
knew that it was a lie when you tod it
It seems to me that I remember distinct
ly of your going to Crane lake to fish for
uiujkclluuge on the strength of that story
replied Yorker and it was not as bad as
your Crown island bass story at that
My veracity is not in question at the
l present time replied the Pastor
I No we will hear from you later said
Yorker provided of course your con
science is not too clastic But to return to
m Crane lake story I simply wish to say
that I did catch a muskellunge and that it
did upset our boat but that was duo to our
awkwardness rather than the size of the
fish for when we got it on shore which we
finally did it only weighed 42 pounds
You told me the truth of that Cran2
lake story the day we were at Mealy lake
together said Smith and yousaid it ouly
weighed 37 pounds
What is a matter cf five pounds more or
less in the size of a musUclIunge said York
ere and Bill fteeves nudged Husky Biil when
Smith did not reply
I have told so many different tales re
garding the size and weight of fish that I
have caught in these Ontario lakes and
rivers said Tiec that 1 hardly know
where to begin my confession
Vhy not straighten out the Moon river
j story Or 38 muskellunge 79 bass and 120
trout in ten hours 1 asked Husky Bill
That might be a good place to begin at
as that story was exrggcratod somewhat
The truth i that J only caught 35 muskel
lunge CO bass and no trout at all for I
did not fish for them There are any num
ber of trout in that stream and its tribu
taries however and I do not doubt Clint it
would be quite possible for a manto catch
as many fish as I said I had caught in the
Moon river in the length of time claimed
to have fished In reality I only fished nine
hours and threequarters As for the other
stories J have toldaboit fishing in Kali
pee Kog and the surrounding lakes I can
cover all of them with the single statement
that I never caught more than 110 bass
in any one day in any of these lakes but
that I imagine is better than any of the
rest of you ever did if the whole truth was
Gentlemen began the Pastor when
Brother Smith started this little experience
meeting I did not realize the good that it
was Jo accomplish In fact I was afraid it
would result in more harm than good and
that the prevarications J cannot bring my
self to the point of calling them liesthat
havebeen told by several of you around these
evening fires would only be again exag
gerated and that some of you at least would
return to your homes with an added weight
upon your conscience It has pleased me
greatly to listen to such confessions as have
been made this evening and Iam sure
that you feel the better for having made
them There is one thing for which I am
sorry and that is that Brother Barnes is
not here to retract the story he toldof
catching more fish thin 1 caught at Crown is
land several years ago I am sure that had
Brother Barnes been with us tonight he
would have been moved to tell the real
truth of that story and so remove a load
from his conscience
What are you going to do about that
story of yours that start d the trouble
asked Tice
1 wish to say in regard to anything that
I may have told sinoe I have been here that
io now deny the story and offer a socalled
confession would bo but a farce and a lie
n itself When 1 told of those 590 bass my
elf and a friend caught in one day
You said SCO before said Smith
Possibly I did but 590 was the correct
number and Ionly wished to correct my
J guess those bonds you put up guar n
teeing the Pastors reputation will be de
elated forfeited when you get home said
Husk Bill to Smith as they walked back to
the clubhouse
thedubhouseWell taught me a lesson any
way1replied Smith and 1 wont be so fool
ish again very soon JL am sorry for jjs sak < j
IB weJUs my tnrei 0 V i
= j
r ntosl In Advertising I
A new scheme of advertising wag resorted
to by a progressive business firm in a pros
perous city in the south The junior partner
of the firm swore out a warrant for the ar I
rest of the senior partner on the ground
that he was seriingfioods below cost and that
the firm was constantly losing money there
b y The case came up in court and the coun
sel for the senior partner asked for a post
ponement in order to have more time to pre
pare his case The judge granted the re
quest bail was fixed and the senior mem
Del released As he left the courtroom the
junior partner arose and exclaimed If
ie is released the sacrifice will go ont The
news soon spread and the firm did a better
business When the case was again called
no plaintiff appeared and the charge was
objectadvertisementPhiladelphia Call
This is a question that should interest
every one It is a blot upon our fair land
a symptom of governmental illhealth The
right laws would act as speedily upon it as
Hostetters Stomach Bitters does upon con
stipation or dyspepsia They would quickly
clear it out and restore healthy purity and
this is just what the bitters does for the hu
man constitution It makes the stomach
strong by curing indigestion biliousness and
liver trouble
Equality of the Sexes
Woman certainly stands at last upon a
footing more nearly equal with that of man
i F or instance she may no longer gain entree
into the column of the purely literary mag
azines by merely murdering somebody but
has as has her brother to go in search of
the north pole or to ride many consecutive
centuries upon a bicyce etc Boston Jour
Beware of Ointments for Catarrh
That Contain Mercury
as mercury will surely destroy the sense of
smeHand completely derange the whole sys
tem when entering it through the mucous
surfaces Such articles should never be used
except on prescriptions from reputable
physicians as the damage they will do is
often ten fold to the good you can possibly
derive from them Halls Catarrh Cure
manufacturedbyFJ Cheney Co Toledo
0 contains no mercury and is taken inter
nally acting directly upon the blood and
Halls Catarrh Cur 1 > sure you get crre gen
uine It is taken internally and made in
Toledo Oivt y P J Cheney Co Testi
monials free
Sold bv Druggists price 75c per bottle
Hairs JferfiJly Pills are the best
Time anti Money
Miss RomantiqueThe foreign nobility
having nothing to do must lead awfully mo
notonous lives
Miss Kostique Yes I notice those who
come over here never seem to have any
change Catholic Standard and Times
The Best Prescription for ChUb
I and Fever is a bottle of GHOVES TASTELESS
GUU1 Toxic Itis simply iron and quinine in
i tasteless form No cure no pay Price50c
Mr Zweipiggiesteinstopper is the name
of a foreigner who has recently located in
this city The other morning a neighbor
I morning I vas glad to see you but I vill
nod mention your name Im shortness of
breathe dis morninJdlmet 111 Star
20 Per Week
TVe pay 20 per week and expenses for man
with rig to introduce our Poultry Mixture
Send stamp for terms Excelsior Mfg Co
Parsons Kans I
Charitable man Jenks istlReaUy
Yes A poor fellow stopped us on the
street today and asked us to help him get
Jenks did better He gave him a tooth
pick Philadelphia Press
Crying BabiesI
Are the ones who take dangerous drugs for
Croup Pneumonia and Diphtheria Hox
sies Croup Cure is safe and sure 50 cts
The large number of articles left on the
pawnbrokers hands proves that there are a
great many people in this world withou a
redeeming quality Elliotts Magazine
The Queen Crescent
Only through Pullman line to Florida
The Queen Crescent only through car
line to Asheville
Popularity often maJces a man believe
News what he knows isnt trueChicago Daily I
To Cure a Cold In One Day
Lakc Laxatfvo Brcmo Quinino Tablets All
druggists refund money if it fails to cure 25c
A man who is in the habit of telling every
much Washington Ia Democrat
Pisos Cure Mary Thomson 29J Ohio Ave
Allegheny Pa March 10 94
The hungry mendicant prefers the cold
stain tho hands oi spct the kettle Sold by
nil druggests
The great virtue is industry al the other
virtues follow in its truin Atchison Globe
Cincinnati Jan 2
LIVE STOCKCatte comn 3 50 < 1 35
Select butcher 4 DO Ci 5 00
CLVESExtra 750 < S > 825
HOGSChoIce packers 4 40 4 43
Mixed packers 430 < 8 > 4 40
Light shippers 425 4 35
LAMBSExtra 5 60 CT 5 75
FLOUR Winter patent 32 rw 3 CO
GRAIN Wheat No 2 red 7014
No3 red tiP C7
CornNo 2 mixed W S34
OatsNo 2 mixed 26
Rye No 2 P CIVj
Lard 5 45
HAY Choice tirotliy 12 75
BUTTERChoice dairy 16 18
Choice creamery 2S
APPLES Chola to fancy 3 5350
POTATOES Per brl1 75 1 85
FLOUR Winter patent 3 40 3 50
GRAIN Wheat No 2 red 67Vfc < 584
No3 Chicago spring 60 60 ½
CORN No 2 WrVfO 31
OATS No 2 220 i2
PORK Mess S85 10 25
LARD Steam 530 5 G7
FLOUR Winter patent 3 55 0375
WHEAT No roil j 754
CORN No 2 mJxel 40
OATS Mixed ra 23
PORK Mess 1050 < JflO 75
LARDS teac 5 95
FLOUR Family 3t t1 SO
GRAIN Wheat Np 2 red 7Ofj 70
Southern3 71
OatsNo 2 white 30 dp 31
GRAIN Wheat No 2 red ft 63V4
Fr OUR Winttr imtent 3 4 > cS 3 55
Oatiixed 2SM
JuH9 5i Hn litH fin 6 t0
t c t
tlk i
Says Peruna the Catarrh Cure
Gives Strength and Appetite
lIon w N Roach United States Senator From North Dakota
Hon WiN Roach United States Senator from North Dakota personally
endorses Peruna the great catarrh cure and tonic In a recent letter to The
Peruna Medicine Company at Columbus Ohio written from Washington D C <
Senator Roach says
Persuaded By a friend I hoe used Perttna as a tonic and I am glad
to testify that it has greatly helped me in strength vigor and appetite I
have been advised by friends that it is remarkably efficacious as a cure for
the almost universal complaint of catarrh f
Senator Roachs home address is Larimore North Dakota
Peruna is not a guess nor an experiment it is an absolute scientific certain
ty Peruna cures catarrh wherever located Peruna has no substitutesno
rivals Insist upon having Peruna Let no one persuade you that some other
J remedy will do nearly as well There is no other systemic remedy for catarrh
but Peruna Address the Peruna Medicine Company Columbus Ohio for a free
book on catarrh written by Dr Hartman
I A WA J L L A L A 4 L J
F P P P P Pi
fl p p
7cc 11
cc Star tin tags showing small stars printed on under side
of tagHorae Shoe T Tcc Good Luck Cross Bow >
and Drummond Natural Leaf Tin Tags are of equal value in
securing presents mentioned below and may be assorted
Every man woman and child can find something on the list
that they would like to have and can have
+ IF E IE 3ES 2
1 Match Box 25
2 Knife one blade Rood steel 2
3 Scissors 1Js inches 25
4 Child Set Knife Fork and Spoon 25
5 Salt and Pepper Set one each quad
ruple plate on white metal 50
6 French Briar Wood Pipe 25
7 Razor hollow ground line English
8 Butter steel Knife triple plate tGO
9 Sugar quality Shell triple plate best qnal 60 60
10 Stamp Box sterling silver7i1
11 Knife Keen Kntter two bladcg15
12 Butcher Knife Keen Kutter 8iii
blade 75
13 Shears Keen Kutter 8inch 75
14 Nut Set Cracker and 6 Picks silver
15 Base Hall Association best qualiou
16 Alarm Clock nickel 150
17 3ix Genuine Rogers Teaspoons best
Plated goods 150
18 Watch nickel stem wind and set 200
19 buuthornhandles
handles 200
20 Spoonsbest
best plated goods250
21 Six each Knives and Forks buck
buckhorn 250
22 Six each Genuine Rogers Knives
and Forks best plated goods503 I
I 1 Special Notice
r l1unureu II recenpcl ny us on or before iiacim 1st 1910
BZTBUAR IN MIX that n dimes worth of I
r will lust lonser and afford imro pleasure than a IUmcd worth ofany
other biand MAKE
Lazy L
au I have been troubled a great deal
with a torpid liver which produces constipa
tion I found CASCARETS to be all you claim
for them and secured such relief tho first trial
that I purchased another supply and was com
pletely cured I shall only be too glad to rec
ommend Cascarets whenever the opportunity
2020 Susquehanna Ave Philadelphia Pa
Good Never Sicken Weaken or Gripe lOc 250 We
Sterling Remedy Coapinj Chleaco Montreal Sew York S20
druggists I
gists to CURE Tobacco Habit
ness Asthma Whooping
cough Crimp Small doses quick sure results I
Dr Dulls PzTfbcure Contij alion 7Yial 2oforc
stars printed on under side of tag are not good for 8m1llI A
but Will be nald for in CASH Oil the basis of twenty rant nan ar
The best remedy for
Consumption Cures
Coughs Colds Grippe
Bronchitis Hoarse
quick relief and cure worst I
cases Book of testimonials and 1O dtia treatment
23 Clock 8day Calendar Thermom
eter arollleer5rO
24 Gnu case leather no better made 500
25 Revolver automatic double action
32 orS caliber 600
26 Tool Set not playthings but real
tools 630
27 Toilet Set decorated porcelain
very handsome 800
28 Remington Rifle Xo4 22 or 32 cal 800
29 Watch sterling silver full jeweled 1000
30 Dress Suit Case leather handsome
and durable 1000
31 Sewing Machine first class with
all attachinents1500
32 Revolver Colts 38caliber blued
33 Rifle Colts ISshot 2Jcaliberl
34 Guitar Washburn rosewood in
laid 2000
35 Mandolin very handsome2000
36 Winchester Repeating Shot Gun
12 gauge2000
37 Remington doublebarrel ham
mer Shot Gun 10 or 12 gauge 2000
ZS Bicycle standard make ladies or
Di f
39 Shot Gnu Remington double bar
rel haiiminerlessmoo
40 Regina Music Box l5J inch Disc 6000
jtJ =
Cost you nothing to examine tha
most el ela in engrave
p1atover e
S over composition metal su
perlortoany In appearance
equal to any J < 3S watch
t Fitted with N Y Stanut
ELED lYe guarantee our
iJ7 goods perfect Out this out
and send to dUSn with your
postomce and nearest cx
prets otlice Ooddress And we
will send this watch C O D
with nrlvileire to examine 1
I oJ nauttraciory pay express Agenl
fir 05 and express charges ant fay watch is yours
Mention if you want LADIES or GENTS size ROYAL
liE WATCH CO265 Ucsjbom St Chicago Ill Cinti
Scientifically made
Therefore THE BEST
VIRGINIA FARMS for SALEGood land good
neighhbors schools and churches convenient Mild
healthy climate free irons extremes ci lnhe a and
cold Low prI8sa and el11 trnis Write for free cata
A N KE 1794
plcucc Btetc thnt you tvyr th Advsr <
8it in sEa J QPe
7 <

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