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AROUSED FRENCH IRE,V
r, Kl? ,n the wlntlow of the London Punch ofnce. 1 .t! "V . 11 Window to express his In^?, -lion. In Paris the carl ay Frciiel mciiwroi t ? .4ft matcrla"y ?? ?he feeling against England. ?1 ill 4r^avt t& fflfi^--' X- -^>: > .??i'v- --v. -- PREPARING FOR TROUBLE, QUIT!?PRO QUOT ' J. P.: "Go away! Go away!" French Organ Grinder: "Eh? What you give me if I go?" J- P.: "I'll give you something if you don't!" (IcUIiik liven. Our Uncle Sam, 'tis elenr to see, Dislikes the thought of debt. The Frenchmen gave us Liberty, We give them Lafayette. ?Cleveland Plain Dealer. Tlie Cnnuiitnavllle Snsc. "The progress of a nation," said the Cumminsvllle sage, "Is general? ly onward and upward in civiliza? tion?until it gets clear oft the earth."?Cincinnati Enquirer. A STORY WITHOUT WORDS. "Say, barber, why do you order the tables nnd chairs to be removed?" "Because here Is a customer who wants a tooth pulled, and I want plenty of room!" ?Fliegende Platter. llf A Funny Man. "Did you call Jonkin a humor? ist?" "He did one funny thing." "What was that?" "Concocted a draft which he said would prolong life Indefinitely and then died the same day from the effects of it."?Pick Me Up. Always Occupied. It comes; the sad season when bit? ter winds blow And the shovel our lives must control. When it Isn't at work on the beau? tiful snow It is frolicking free In the coal. ?Washington Star. A Case of Necessity, "Doctor, do you think you'll pull him through?" "Pull him through? Of course I'll pull him through. He's Insured lor fioo.ooo." "But 1 don't see" "You don't, eh? Well. It's In our company."?Cleveland Plain Dealer. COLD COMFORT. CHAPTER I. Where It licgrnn. "Von say the excavation for your new building has begun? I haven't seen any signs of it." "It began in my pocket. I have just paid the architect $500 for tho design."?Chicago Tribune. CHAPTER n. ?Ally Sloper. The Difference. Tommy?Papa, why don't men wear their watches outside like wo men? Hl9 Father?There's nobody to look to for better ones, my son, in case of theft.?Jewelers' Weekly. A MEDICAL OPINION. j3s ? Terrified Passenger: "Will you ever get tho boat to land?" Boatman: "Not likely! But it don't much matter. The old tub wouldn't stand another trip anyhow!" _ ? jud: Ilcf utnt Ion. "What does that man mean by saying you made all your money out of politics?" exclaimed the indig? nant friend. "I don't know." answered Senator Sorghum. "It ain't accurate, any? how, it was In politics that I made my money."?Washington Star. No Need to Advertise. Harry?It is enough to kill any? body the way you women kiss one another. I saw yon kiss Polly Breese last evening, and 1 know you hate her, Harriet?Oh, well, what's a kiss? I know where I can get plenty mote. ?Boston Transcript. The Siivngo llnelielor. "An bid friend of mine," said tho young member, "Writes me thai he is going to marry a theatrical wo? man." "Theatrical woman?" repeated the savage bachelor. "Did you ever seo one that wasn't?"?Cincinnati' En? quirer. WHEN POEMS WERE CARVED ON BRICKS. Uncle 'Rastus: "Doctah, dar's sumfin wrong wlf dat pickaninny ob mine. He's done bin pow'ful melancholy ob late." Dr. Rufua; "I spec' dat's most loikly jest plain water-melancholy." ?Collier's Weekly. 4;.:: 1-% iioTiia Xir .Ml THE ASSYRIAN POET. THE ASSYRIAN" EDITOR. 1 THE ASSYRIAN POEM. ?New York Journal. TAKEN TO TASK. "Young man, i can business.? You must remember gas costs , money, and my gal Is gettin on in life?" [The young women of Connecticut have formed an association for pro? ? tccting themselves against young men who visit them nightly, enjoy their i v. eat tin Ir suppers, but never take the young ladies out, and never, never, never talk of love or marriage.] j ?New York World. She: "Th* parson's been praytn a good long while for the rain; but, yer si e, we've got it at last, it's a good thins for th' country." He; "I dunno. Seems to me It's a good thing for the church." ?Sketch. Serious Indeed. "I was going oh the stage once? vaudeville." "That so. Kitty? Did your more serious nature come to the rescue?" "Yes: I got too fat."?Chicago U.rd. In Doubt. "Are you in favor of keeping the Philippines?" "I dunno. I Jest know I ain't in favor of kejpln "em If they ain't able to keep themselves."?Cincin? nati Enquirer. DOUBTFUL GALLANTRY. ? i ..j ,114 * LM 12 Professor: "I hav? frequently notjd that ugly people are usually very clever; but, ah?cr, present company of course excepted." ?Fliegende Blattar.