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NO IMMEDIATE DANGER.
Sandy Waysides (lending): "11 ore's a brand new microbe jest made its ??! ! nrarice.'' YawniriK Ycrgdson: "I3cn dcrc's no Immediate danger. We hover got h?ttin tili it's secondhand." _ ?Collier's Wei kly. FiltlC.I Rl I.IIHl. l'i prli lor?I am looking for a man I citu irust. Applicant- We'll b< t along tlien. r t-ii years I've been looking for a man I hut would trust nie.?JJoroit Free Press. <;,?.>.l Cvitniiilf. tTncnsy Passenger t^w an ocean steamship) s io sift til- v s sei lip fri? hl folly Distillled Steward ? The vessel, in urn, is trying io : ? : n good ? sam? ple to the Iih .-? !!??? Tit-Hits. THE BARNYARD EXCITED. Rooster: ''AVbo-?-o-o arc you?" Chicks: "We. are spring chickens from the incubators." ?Scribnor's. \:il?irnl Inference, "Charlie la n Iiis fool," n?acj Lad ?Irl In blue. "When will yoiir engagement bo ' ";:< IV jiskt i the git-i in Chicago* |3\ . nins Post; The liiilii Iii mil Vllltmle. I favor hualheya reform._ "J'iH IK'iMh ?!. I'll agree! I'll gladly work for aiiy which Does hot begin with inc. ?Wushlngton Ster. A GENTLE HINT. "WoulJ ye kindly assUt a poor man wlv a coppsr, sir? I'm that weak un hungry I can aidly keep tue pup oii >n- ivgs." ?SJk,..iirt y-i^:;liif'i^f; f7?in" -Ally Stoper. . HE DOES, TO BE SURE! Ohl Chap: "Ali. there's good transparency there; What do you. mix your color with? llislng Artist: "Bruins, sir?brains." r>M Chap: ''Ah?calf's, i s'poso!*' Ally Slopcr. Tin? l,lill?M?|iltor. ??Many it man," suhl Unele Ebon, "nuikcs il<- mistake nli goln iiroun lellin his trimhlcs \vhcn Ii.?tor mlyi riisiii Iiis business."?Washing? ton Star. Miko'M ? Ii.ii,.,.. T. r nee?Molke, <-r ye lind (in dol? lars in yor pocket, thai would yo HH W Kl il ? Mike Droonk, bogorra! ? lllch mond Dispatch. Tin? Woo hm hi linir. "llnsn't Wllloufe'liby Perkins pro p,,.;.,| y,.( ?. ".\<>. inaminii; his approach work Is all right, hui then he Bein herv ous und fooalesi'VChicaso Iteo?rd. YE MERRIE ANGLERS. "'Ere! TMiH up, il'yccr, carn't yor? Yer got a i>iio! Carn't ycr sec? W'y, yer u-losin all Ihem gcntllos!" Pullcd up. '"Ere! Give want< v L-.i a-sw Don't \ ? r know Illull. \ *" It hack. What nllerin my lish i they're worf a K -Ally S!.>|'' I: Miene ion* Rxcrclsc. "Thai clairvoyant said thai f'ir Jl she would toll ine liow to get lid of BUpOlililOUfl llCSll." "What di'l she shy?" "She told irtc io go to Manila nnd help chase the Filipinos."?Chicago llecord. Iii.?. Pn-il i<-n tu<-n l. "T sec," said the nffublc friend, "Hi.ii you occasionally drop into poetry." "No." nnswered the Inurento fiercely; "i don't drop Into i.try. I'm pushed int.. it by the govern? ment."?Washington star. u to siip Iiiiiin i.ike n. "I Ihim^ln iii.it summier rosorl ybil went in w.is :i ilcllghli'oi t'.ie hat.I (ho lilliliette. "What fault had yen tu Hud with it:"' ? Tie- only htimim* k th->y h.nl wo? in tlio mos! i i i' le. n. iis pnn-i-' Tin tie- grounds." Chicago Post. OUT OF THE FRYING PAN. hlpwrecked Monkeys; "Great ce unuts! Luck al What's going td rescue ns from a watery grave'." ?New York Uve:..:ib' Journal. mike's opinion". 1 YjVvY:" Tat: "This is a great wathorin place." ' . Mike: "Faith. It wouhln't be much of a watherin place !f it wasn't fer the beer." _ ' " ' 1 ? * ? *? ? I i t ? i i - ?Nuggets. ENOUGH TO GO EOUND. Housewife: "How is it that your r Iis luve been gettlns smaller and small. !? of late?" Tlie Baker's Boy: ''You see, madam, wo have taken on three new cus* tomcrs recently.'' . ? _ ?Fliegende Blatter. HINTS FOR NEW WHEELMEN. Don't ri<!<' t o - ! so lo a bri w j-y wagon oven a it doc? *i reuk tho wind"? Because? Wheeling on barrels? 'jjjg = Is not the most comfortable thing in the woiid. .t ?New fork World?, ?fc