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The Wenatchee World Published Dally Except Sunday by the WORLD PUBLISHING CO., PROP. N. ANIENT Editor C. A. BRIGGS Business Mgr. Entered aa second-class matter at the Postoffice at Wenatchee,lWashington. Main offlca--Buslneaa and Editorial, COLUMBIA VALLEY BANK BUILDING Wenatchee. Washington Farmers Phone 234 SUBSCRIPTION rates: On* Year, by Mall, In Advanoe. - $5.00 Six Months, by Mall, In Advanoe. 2.50 Delivered by Carrier, per weak. - -1 0 WEDNESDAY. AUGUST 8. 1906 Bowser as An Orator Pays an Elocutionist $5 to Give Him Pointers About Public Speaking. PRACTICES IN THE ATTIC Neighbors Think He Is Crazy and Call Upon the Polke to Interfere. [Copyright, 1900. by K. C Paicells ] MR. BOWSER had smoked his cigar and read the paper when i he arose and said to Mrs. 1 Bowser: "I shall be busy in the attic for the next hour and do not wish to he dis turbed." ''You are not going to try and ride that old bike around again, are you?" she asked. "If 1 am. what of it?" "Why. nothing, of course, but when a man gets as heavy and logy as you are he shouldn't think of fooling around with bikes." "Oh, I'm l?eavy and logy, am I? 1 have reached that stage where I am to he looked upon as a haystack on wheels? Thank you for your flattery, Mrs. Bowser." "You know I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I just meant that you are u«>t as spry as you used to be. If you had tried roller skating twenty years ago you would have made a suc cess of It, hut now"— • "(Jo ahead and say what you started out to." Jar Shook the Hoohf. "Well, when you tried it one evening a few weeks ago you came down with such a jar that you shook the whole house and was unconscious ten min utes." "During which time you took advan tage of my helplessness to rob me of Ticket Office Phones P- S. 471 Farmers 212 f "FAWT ~M.\TL" 1 X-Ma i To lo«;a) points 11:26 .. . WenutWiee to Mpo ' a. in. | kaac Montana, 1 p. m . Chicago itiwl mt. I . ._. "OBIKNT.M. ~ ■ t " • LIMITED' ia 1 Paul, chicaijo st. j I-ouln, mid cant. ', '. I PIsKT .HOI!Nil ] IKS . KXPRKHS !fc2s I To Seattle, Port p. v:. : land, Kverett, Bel | p. m. I liiißhuin - j OKIKNTAb VI LIMITED «:r. To Portland. Se nonn i Httle. Kverett :md| p. in. i Bejj Birbag < Great Northern M. K. Co'a S. & DAKOTA Will sail Crotu .Seattle September i, IttOK S. 8. MINNKSOTA, october-JO-IWHi For rates, folders ami full informa tion, call on or address A. A. PIPKK, Ant.. Wenatchee, s. g YKftKEs, a. <;. p. a., ttaWie. **I never robbed you!" indignantly exclaimed Mrs. Bowser. "Perhaps it was the eat. I counted my money as soon as I came to and found a two dollar bill missing. I am not going to the attic for athletic exer cise, however. I am walking to and from the office these mornings, and that is enough." "Then why not sit here and talk?" Mr. Bowser walked up and down for five minutes before he replied. It was evld; m thai he wanted to trust her. but he was also afraid of her. Finally he said: "Professor Zangwiily was in the office this afternoon, slid afler we had talk ed for awhile he wanted to know why I didn't go in and cultivate my voice for public speaking and reading. He said I had uo voice for song, but that as a reader, lecturer or speaker 1 would make a great success. I have often been asked to read and speak in public, you know." "And ron are going up to the attic to cultivate it?" lia»* 95 Fur Pulutrra. "I am. For $5 he gave me certain instructions to follow, and 1 am going to_ follow them. The first thing, as we "HAS IT COMB AT LAST, MA'AM?" all know. Is to get proper enunciation." "Why can't we have tbe Sylvesters over and play a few games of cards?" asked Mrs. Bowser as a sigh escaped her. "Are the Sylvesters and a few games of cards of more consequence than your husband's voice?" That silenced her, and after Mr. Bowser had waited around for a spell without receiving any answer he pass ed upstairs and to the Barret. The cook had gone to her room, but in the course of ten minutes she came down looking pale faced and wild eyed and asked of Mrs. Bowser: "Has it come at last, ma'am?" "What do you mean. Susan?" "Has Mr. Bowser gone out of his head and become dangerous?" "Of course not." "Then what's he doing upstairs go iug'Ha. ha. in! Whoop! stoop! Soup!' aad a hundred other words that there's no sense to?" "He's cultivating his voice so as to make n reader and a speaker of him self." What KrlKhbura Would Think. "I never heard the likes, but it you say it's so I must believe yon. Hark to that, will yon! The neighbors will think we are all being nutrdcreil!" Mr. Bowser's voice had improved so much in a ouarter of an hour that It could be beard clear downstairs. Mrs. Bowser took a glance from a trout window anil saw that several people had Stopped in front of the house. Then she climbed to the attic to give Mr. Bowser a word of caution. She found him with coat, vest and collar Off and the sweat standing out on his forehead, and he erected her entrance with: "Hip. hip. hip! Hop hip hop hip! Ma ty! Ma-ry! Ma ry! Sain! Sam! Sam!" "Do you know that people are stop ping In front of the house?" she asked. "What for? Hip: Hop! Hip! Su san! Su-san! Su-sau!" "Your shooting makes them wonder what is going on. Can't you lower your voice a little?" "Not by the fourteen horns of the aeveu sacred bulls of India!" he shout ed. "I am In my own house. 1 am cultivating my own voice. If the g*»n eral public doesn't like it they can lump it." "But you haven't got to sbottt at the top of your voice to cultivate it. have you?" People Atti'HeteU b.r \ul»«-. "I have got to do just as the pro fessor told me. I want a voice that can t»e heard ail over a hall holding 10.000 people. Hi! Hi! Hi! Ho! Ho! Ho!" Mrs. Bowser went downstairs and left him at it, and she saw from the window that the number of people had Increased to fifty. The sash was raised, and she heard one man say: "I tell you it's Bowser. He's boon off his chump for two or three years past, and he's dually become buggy. He ought to be taken to an nsylnm to night." "Why don't one of these boys go for a pjih-euiun ?" queried auother. "If that noise keeju £y ua one on the block will get an hour's sleep tonight." "Cosmo! Cosmo! Cosmo! Dick! Dick! Dick! Dau! Dan! Dan!" came the voice of Mr. Bowser just .as the bell rang, and Mrs. Bowser answered it to find a policeman ou the steps. Pollremau Calls. "How lo:ig has he been act ins this way?" Whispered the officer as he dodged Into the hall. "Do you mean Mr. Bowse.':" "Yes. or whoever that is roaring out like a mad bull. Has the doctor seen him and ordered him to the asylum yet?" "A way! A way! A-way! Heave ho! Heave ho! Heave ho!" shouted the voice cultivator in the attic. "It is Mr. Bowser, sir." said Mrs. Bowser with all the dignity she could call up. "and h«' is uot crazy." "Then, mum. could 1 ask without hurtin' your feelia'S how long he's been on the spree?" "He Is perfectly sober, sir." "Then he must have rats after him. You can see what a crowd has gath ered, and that noise must stop or I shall lose my Job. The word came to the station house that five people were being murdered by a lunatic." "Very Well; you can go up." The officer found his way to the attic. Mr. Bowser was waving his arms and bending his body and enunciating, but after the officer had seized him and given htm two shakes he dropped voice culture and there was a contest of lan guage lasting rive minutes. At the end of that time the officer came down stairs and smile<| :it Mrs. Bowser as he opened the door to pass out and as sure the people that there was no cause for alarm. The whooping had stopped for good atal they could go borne and assure their families that no deed of blood would occur. 'Hie crowd had melted away when Mr. Bowser de scended. He walked straight up to Mrs. Bows** and hovered over her for a long minute before he could speak. Then his enunciation was perfect as be said . "Woman, this U your seventeenth at tempt to assassinate me in the last rive years." Bowiifr R>Mt>Mtn InifrfiTfnce. "Yes?" she replied. "You were hound and determined to have my voice remain like the sounds of an old tile drawn across a coal scut tle, and you gathered that mob and sent for the police." "Well*;" "Tomorrow we separate — separate. You consult your lawyer—l consult mine. The dead line has beeu reached. tJood night. Mrs. Bowser. I go to the library to look over some papers." Mrs. Bowser went to l>ed. aud two hours later when he came upstairs she heard him growl to himself: •Hang Professor Zaugwllly! If he comes into the otfiVe tomorrow I'll punch his head." M. QUAD. VOGUE POINTS. Oeeanay Tlnta Predominate la Wntta Material*— *ew Llaeae. All the white materials have a creamy cast like the tint seen in old lace. The newest linens are uubleach ed. Burnt straw of a much deeper shade than that worn last season is seen in the spring hats. They are trimmed with big chaos of bhtek ribbon and occasionally with wreaths of curious dead colored flowers. Embroidered buttons on lineu gowns are often the only trimming on the se verely tailored styles. The nightdress fashioned on the lines of the chemise is in vogue. The neck HAMjSOMK. SLACK HAT. is drawn up to the required size with ribbon. The effect 1» decollete and very becoming t<> a pretty throat or neck. A collar to have any pretensions to smartness must. l>e one with the waist or trimmed so as to leave that appear ance. ' A pretty sbade for summer will be pink, which will be worn a groat deal, and lobster, buff, crimp, cocoa, biscuit, swansdown aud lemon. Aj pure pink lightweight cloth suit made with an Eton jacket will be appreciat ed all summer. Tne handsome hat illustrated is a Gainsborough shape carried out in black Neapolitan straw. About the edge of tbe brlui Ik a handsome piece iof fine Jet. The only other trimming 'on the hat la an enormous white oa . trlch plums, ! How ahoot that phonograph? Still j thirk you'd like to trade it for a roll I top desk ? obj so iv a want ad. CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENTS Classified ads S cants a Una each In sertion, minimum charge 10 cents. GENERAL CLACKS Ross Brothers, Wagon Wore, Rubber Tires a specialty. Band Sawing. ATTORNEYS R. W. Cutt*—Practice in Federal and State Courts. Phone Farmers 245 Ira ThomaF, suite l, W. T. Rarey & Co's building. UNDERTAKERS O. G. Hall, Undertaker and Funer al Director. Mrs.O.G. Hall, Lady Asst. PHYSICIANS AND SURGEONS. Dr. Almeda J. MoCall Osteopathic pbTsioiau, office over Wicster's ?tore. Dr. D, W. King, office over Wen. Drag 06. Fmr's Phone, office »81, ns. 983. Frank Culp, M. D. A. T. Hanpp M. D., Griggs Block. W. M. McCot, physician and sur geon. Eills-Fnrde block. X ray w^rk FRATERNAL M. W. A. 6804 Meets every Wednesday at t»:S0 p m. Bower Hall E W Thomas, V 0 R L Bartletr, clerk TAILORS NOLAN ANO SUHROEDKR. eoits to order. Ladies and gentlemen's clothing cleaned, repaired and press cd. Opposite Wenatchee Dept. store. WALLPAPER AND PAINTING GO TO H. W. Rnssel for wall pap er, paints and oil, painting paper hanging and signs. tf FOR SALE-City Lots FOUR LOTS—IOO feet frontage in block nine Great Nortnern plat for 1850. inqoire of r hhu V. Martin. FOR SALE-WENATCH EE FRUIT LAND half mil ;j from Wenatchee 170 full beaiiog trees wafer right 2 sores alafalfa balauoe unimproved $4000, terms, A. J Lint ill*. R F D 1 FOR SALE — ACRE TRACTS WENATCHEE valley fruit ranches large aud small A. J. fdo title. Farmers phone 553, R. F. D. No. 1. c f FOR SALE—acre tracts, five and ten aore tract close in price* and terms right, J. 8. Moooey and Co. tf 84 ACRES :i 1-2 miles from Malaga. 8 miles from Wenatoheee with wat er righ r , 40 acres in alfalfa, IliS fruit trees, good rich soil, small home,bam, small traits, 14000. G. A. Virtue 396 Boston Blook, Seattle, Wash. FOR SALE-Farm Land '.i-20 ACRE* at $12 per acre, near Ki ona and Prosser in Horse Heaven country, all in wheat, 1-5 of crop goes to bnyer. A ltiO acre homestead relinquishment adjoining for ft'OO. G. A. Virtue, :i0« Boston Block, Seattle, Wash. PREMIUM TO BOTH OLD AND NEW SUBSCRIBERS TO THE DAILY WORLD For the next 90 days, we will give one-halt" dozen (6) best quality, highest grade, triple plate, Roger Bros. $2.50 silver teaspoons with choice of four beautiful designs, to everyone that will call at our office and pay $5.00 cash for a year's subscription to the Daily World. The regular retail price of these spoons is $2,50. Columbia and Okanogan Steamboat Go. SCHEDULE Effective on and after April 1, 1906 ITHING. Leave Wenatchee daily .... 4:30 a.rr. " Orondo daily 7:30 a.m. " Entiat daily 7:30 a.m. Chelan Falls daily .11 00 a.m. " Paterons dnily 4:00 p.m. Arrive Brewster daily 5:00 p.m. DOWN RIVER Leave Brewster daily 4:00 a.m. Paterons daily 4:20 a.in " Chelan Falls daily .. 8.00 a.ni " Entiat daily 9:30 a.m. Orondodaily 10.00 a. m. Arrive Wenatchee daily .. 12.00 m. Steamer 'eaves Wenatchee for BRIDGPORE Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings. Returning leaves Bridgeport same night. Ask for special folders regarding Okanogan Irrigation project and Lake Chelan Coanty. T. A. DAVIES, Gen. Mgr ALL KINDS OF TEAMING Well and properly done at most reasonable 'onable prices. Our business is grow, ing rapidly because we try to earn and more than earn every dollar you pay us. Ring up. EAGLE LIVERY & TRANSFER CO. Inc. THE GOLD MEDAL At the St. Louis World's Fair was awarded to our Peach Blossom Flour. In competition with the world's bast flour we win. Wenatchee Milling Co. PROFESSIONAL CARDS HENRY CRASS A. N*. CORBIN CRASS 4. CORBIN Special Attention to Probate Law Office Over F. 4 M. Bank C. F. S PR AG U E Professional Funeral Director and Licensed Embaimer A graduate by years of practicaPex - perienoe Farmers Phone 223 and 224 P. S. Phone 21 and 23 Wenetehee. Was ■ "Thiuk of your own faults the first part of the night when yoc are awake, and uf the faults of others rhe latter part of the night when yoa ate asleep."— Chinese Proverb. Stop working for "half size wages. —advertise for a rea l job! Stop waiting until you have to ad vertise—tiy it wlipn yoa ougnt to. FREE OFFER UP RIVER