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My Home Site in East Wenat chee. For terms .nid Prices See L. O. HALL Practical Horsesho°r. A CORNER LOT 20 ACRES land in East Wenatchee, river front; easy terms. Walter M. Olive Colombia Valley Bank Building. W. M. RICE, The Leavenworth Liveryman Prepared to furnish rigs, sad dle horses and pack trains to the Chelan County and tran sient trade. Oue of town cus tomers phone of write. RICE THE LIVERYMAN. Eagle Livery & Transfer Co. Draying, Piano Moving, Express Summer Pruning If you want a good crop next year let me stop the growth of watersprouts and unnecessary limbs at once. PETER HOVLAND COTTAGE HOUSE Holcomb's Way "SATISFACTION OR MONEY REFUNDED." Our Grocery Department is always in first-class shape. We carry several standard brands of Canned Goods, such as the following: RELIANCE, GOLDEN GATE, CARDINAL SCHILLING, EMPEROR, HAPPY HOME. "These All Speak for Themselves." Guaranteed Quality. We have ;•. good lino in Green Vegetables for your dinner. Phone us your orders. 0 IS 63 . P. HOLbOIB Phone 941 I Go to Chas. Fry, the* reliable shoe man for sewed half soles. Price same as nailed.*** BLACKSMITH AND REPAIR SHOP. Have opened in the old Vachon stand on Wenatchee avenue near Arrow Livery. Old and new cus tomers given prompt attention. HORSESHOEING We Guarantee Satisfaction. McCULLOUGH & LONG, The Blacksmiths. H.J. KIMMEL The Builder General Contract Work, in cluding plain, and reinforced concrete. With a specialty of Cement Work. Phone 315. South King Street. Let Me Haul Your Garbage James Latham City Scavenger Baggage and light dray work done. Phone 1281. NOW IS THE TIME Wenatchee, Wash. 5-18 General Merchandise 6 WENATCHEE AVENUE N. FHE WENATCHEE DAILY WORLD, WENATCHEE, WASHINGTON, TUESDAY, MAY 19, 1908. Though he had long adored her hi secret—worshiped, in fact, the ground she pressed beneath the soles of her dainty little No. 3's—he had never yet been able to screw up sufficient cour age to put his fate to the test. Poor fellow! Fie was one of those shy, modest, self deprecating sort of chaps that are growing rapidly scarcer pr he would have tumbled months ago to the fact that he had only to go in and win. Gertrude Alicia knew the state of his feelings right enough, but it had pleas ed her hitherto to keep him dangling in attendance. At last, however, she made up her mind to land her fish as soon as a favorable chance presented itself. And the opportunity came at the Smythingtons' little soiree, when the bashful swain, entering the conserva tory, discovered his Inamorata looking her loveliest amid the palms and flow ers. "Are—are you alone?" he questioned timidly. In a moment the fair and ready wit ted girl saw her chance and took it then and there. "A loan. Hen—er— Mr. Finnikin," she said, with lowered eye lids, "a loan? Certainly not—l'm a gift." And fifteen minutes later, when they emerged from their retreat. Henry was asking himself how he could have been such a Juggins as to postpone his hap piness so long. Doctors, when they send away a | busy man for several weeks of rest, j do not consider that to one accustomed to work an enforced re3t is both irri : fating and depressing. Xennder, the famous church histo rian. had promised his physician on be j ing ordered to Carlsbad to drink its i famous waters that he would take no ' books with him except one work, which the doctor with reluctance allowed. Or. the morning of the historian's de parture the doctor, wishing to say goodby to his patient, called at his door and saw a cart laden with heavy folios. "Hut, dear professor," said the phy i sician. with the craphesis of displeas- I urc, "you promised me to take no books with you." "Yes, doctor." replied the childlike professor, "but you allowed me one work, so I thought I might take the fa thers with me to Carlsbad." The "one work" included three or four score volumes. The wedded state is a favorite sub ject with the epigram makers. From a very old ballad we take this: There was a criminal in a cart A-goin' to be hanjred; Respite to him was rrrnted. And cart and crowd did rtand To know if he would marry a wife Or rather choose to t.!e. "T'other"s the worst—drive on the cart!" The criminal did reply. More modern is this verse: I would advise a man to pause Before be takes a wife— In fact, I see r.o earth' < —:se He should not pause f r life. Who. by the way, is the author who describes a second marriage as being "the triumph of hope over.ex; erience ':" Samuel Lover's matrimonial epigram Is very apposite: Though matches are all made in heaven, they say. Yet Hymen, who mischief oft hatches. Sometimes deals with the house t'other side of the way. And there they make Lucifer matches. —Chambers' Journal. Telephone 1545 Lord Iverdale had just finished his after dinner speech and the guests bad ! applauded when the butler rushed for ' ward and announced to his lordship that there was a burglar in the house. ;"A burglar! Confound his impu dence! "Where is he?" : "We don't exactly know, your lord ; ship. One of the maids, hearing a noise in the library, looked in and saw a mar. at the safe. If your lord- > ship will allow me, I'll put Jarvis in i my place here and take charge of the search.*' "Very good, Hawkins. Go by all meads. Wait a moment—here is the key of my desk. Take th? revolver j ' you will find In the right hand top drawer; you may need it. As soon as 1 I can get away without alarming the I ladies I'll join you."—Munsey's. I dreamed last night that I was pres ent at a committee meeting of the sun, earth, moon and stars. "I'm no coward," said the earth. "No, but you have two great fears," said the sun hotly. "And those are?" "The hemispheres." "You've forgotten the atmosphere," put in the moon. And the comet, who had no business to be there, wagged his tail with joy. i Jones—That was a scathing sermon ! (on mean men the parson gave us last j J Sunday. Wonder what Smith thought j about it? Brown—Singular! I met ; Smith yesterday, and he said he'd like to know your opinion on it.—London ! Telegraph. Corf donee. I Jackson— Flea yon Mess him! He showed confidence in me when the clouds were dark and threatening. | ; Wilson—ln what way? Jackson—He I lent me an umbrella.—London Tele- \ graph. Miss Youngthing-Roo-hoo-hoo! Char ley's given me a ring set with a mean tittle turquoise. Her Mother—That's an emblem of constancy. Miss Young thing—lt isn't! It's proof of stinginess! The talker sows; the listener rcstps.— Italian Proverb. Her Ready Wit. Neander's "One Work." When Marriage Is the Topic. The Lord and tho Durglar. Fun In Space. Hit Them Both. What It Proved. Majestic Webster. Theodore Parker gave the following graphic description of Daniel Webster bi the famous three hour sermon preached soon after Webster's death: He was a mau of large mold, a great body and a great brain. He ceemed made to last a hundred years. Si:iee Socrates there has seldom been a head so massively large save the stormy features of Michael Angelo. Since Charlemagne I think there has not been such a grand figure in all Christendom. A large man. decorous In dress, dignified i:i deportment, he walked as if he felt himself a king. The coal heavers and porters of London looked on him as one of the great forces of the globe. They recognized a native king. In the senate of the United States he looked an emperor in that council. Even tie majestic Cal houn seemed common compared with him. Clay looked vulgar and Van Buren but a fox. What a mouth he had! It was a lion's mouth, yet there was a sweet grandeur In the smile and a woman's softness when he would. What a brow it was! What eyes—like charcoal fires in the bottom of a deep, dark well! His face was rugged with volcanic fires—great passions and great thoughts, "The front of Jove himself; an eye like Mars, to threaten and com mand." Came Near It. Wit and humor are such elemental, fundamental things that it has al ways been found difficult to analyze them. Upon some points, however, those who have essayed this puzzling task agree, for they all hold that wit is an intellectual, humor an emotional, quality: that wit is a perceptioa of re semblance aud humor a perception of contrast, of discrepancy, of Incongrtn ity. The ineou: T rr.;ty is that which arises between the i lea! and the fact, between theory and practice, between promise and performance, and perhaps It might be added thai it is always or almost always a moral incongruity. Iv the case both of wit and humor there Is also a pleasurable surprise, a gentle shock which accompanies our percep tion of the hitherto unsuspected re semblance or incongruity. A New England farmer was once describing In the presence of a very humane per son the great age and debility of a horse that he formerly owned and used. "You ought to have killed him," interrupted the humane person tndig nantly. "Well,*' drawled the farmer "we did—almost."—Atlantic. A Strcnuoi 3 Statesman. In his "Eclipse cad O'Kelly" Theo dore Andrea Cook tc'.'.s a story of the English statesman and sport Fox. He had wagered something about a waist coat which could only bo obtained in Faris; went off to Dover by night, caught the mail packet, posted to Par is and back to Calais, and remembered he had a horse racing at Newmarket. Ho chartered a fishing boat bound for the eastern counties, just got to New market in time for the race, took the post back to London and stopped on the way to dine. T Free Wales* Right $125 TO $350 PER ACRE A F FSTFS Cashmere *n the middle of the port and dice after dinner he was caught by a special messenger who had been tearlrg over half of England in search of him and reminded that he had to move to bring in a marriage bill in the house of commons. lie rushed to the stables, reached the house iv time to make a brilliant speech in re ply to North and Burke and defeated North on a division by a sinclo vote. Naturalists say that t!ie feet of the common working boo exhibit the curi ous combination of a basket, a brush and a pair cf pinchers. The brush, the hairs cf which are arranged in sym metrical rows, is seen only with a high grade microscope. With this brush of fairy delicacy the bee brushes its vel vet robe to remove the pollen dust with which it becomes loaded while suck ing up the nectar of flowers. Another delicate apparatus is the spoon shaped appendage that receives the gleanings that the bee wishes to carry to the hive. Finally, by opening the brush and the basket by means of a neat lit tle hinge, the two become a pair of pinchers, which render important serv ice in constructing the ceils for the reception cf the honey. Tinned Tongue. . "Are you studying Esperanto, Mr. ' Idiot?" asked the linguist. I "I am not." said the idiot. "I can \ talk too much in English if I want to." | "It is a very f":e language," said the linguist—"condc: ed, concise and easi ly acquired." "No doubt." id the idiot. "But I don't care for : itted tougue."—Broad- I way Magazine. Captain (wftherfngly to privareV-My friend, you ought to be eating hay. Are there any mora like you in your family? Private—l have only one brother, sir. Captain—Oh! And what Is be? Private—Captain, sir.—Hon Yi vant. Mrs. Henpeque—So yon did an r.r t of charily to commemo rate the twen tieth anniversary of our wedding Mr. Henpeque—Yes; I refused a raise in ratery to ore of my clerks who wanted to get married. "I notice that you writers use a i great deal of tobacco. Does It stimu- I late your brains?" "I don't know, but it makes you for get that you're hungry."—Cleveland Leader. The Bachelor's View. '•What is the most aggravating thing in married life?" asked Dorothy. "Sometimes." said the bachelor friend, "it's the husband, aud soaio times it's the wife." Ed Utter is back to Wenatchee af ter an absence of several months. Water Now on the Grounds and Plenty of it 4 1-2 Miles West of Cashmere. See or Write OWNER The Deo's Feet. Tho Other Captrin. His Act of Charity. One Use Tor It. Washington LOCAL CANTON OF PATRIARCHS MILITANT TO BE INSTALLED HERE WEDNESDAY NIGHT Arrangements are made to form a Canton of the Patriarchs Mili tant in Wenatchee. The installation will take place Wednesday evening in Odd Fellows Hall, and will be under the supervision of William Crowhurst, State Secretary of the Depart mant Council of Wash. A large number of out of town Odd Fellows are expected to be presert to assist Mr. Crowhurst. Gem Cafe —Open nights.*** HEARING POSTPONED The hearing before Judge Palmer to have John E. Mills put under bond to keep the peace was again postponed to come up at a later date. It is 'alleged that Mil's has been endeavoring to raise a disturbance around Frank Smith's barber shop and that Smith has bad a warrant issued to have Mills keep the peace. Dr. L. B. Manchester, dental office, Columbia Valley Bank Buik'ing.*** You can eat at the Gem Cafe at night.*** Five-room cottage for rent* close in. Apply corner Douglas anl V.'i-K --ington street or phone 1603. Ask Flanigan for a rolled roast. L.-W. Co.*** You can eat at the Gem Cafe at night.*** For Sale. Six residence lots located near new high school site; $250 each, $50 down and $10 per month. The best buy in the city. Call J. L. Corey, Daily World Office; phone 1135. HAVE YOU SEEN SALT LAKE CITY AND DENVER? These are cities of note and you should visit them Take O. R. & N. R'y when travel ing east or south from Spokane. • WM. McMURAY, G. P. A., Portland, Ore. J. R. NAGEL, T. P. A., 60S First Aye., Seattle, Wash.