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The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, February 06, 1919, Image 7

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Copyright,* 1619^7 th* MoCIue Nems?
|*HEi Mutual Consolation Club mi
In session. The members, four in
number yrere dejected.
Mattie Melroude was the reason for
the Mtgpal Consolation Club. Mattie
was the "candy girl" of Abonrale, and
the most sought swimmer in the matrimonial
sea She was the "candy girl"
la two respects. She was declared to
be the sweetest and the neatest, but
"k"*'-!'' -* ? ^tMalwA t">ll? fce* AVAV
MBMp *180 in? TIOTBW Ciuouo ucug vuw?
BBsX . wrong the heart of a man.
Her afoodb was on Turnip Hill, hot
Wattle spent little time there. She was
not a social Idler. She believed In
work and she did It before a>hlgh desk
and a porportlnnately high stool In the
bnslness office of the Bon Ton Candy
Mattle hod rejected the four most
desirable young men In the village.
Hiey were desirable by their own
admission, and they had hank books to
prove It. The bank hook, however had
proved of r.o more avail in the wooing
of Mattle than so much waste paper.
- Each member of-the club had spent
money like sand In the desert in his
campaign to make Mattle his wife. She
accepted all the attentions until they
wearied her, and then she clamly and
scornfully rejected the quartet of admirers.
The collective rejections wae
as follows:
"You go about trying to win a girl's
affections Just as a bollermaker would
operates a typewriter. Think I'd marry
a man with no moro Initiative than
you? I should say not emphatically, I
want a husband who gets bh Idea now
and then. The fellow who thinks up
something new In the way of courting
a girl Is the on that catches me. See?"
Then Mutual Consolation Club
!came into being. Each of the four discovered
simultaneously that the other;
were after the fair Mattle. It happened
that they came together Just
outside the Melvoude residence at the
top of Turnip Hill.
Tom Grayson was peering over a
long box cf roses, Fred Hoopjr was
lugging a chafing dish he hal procured
from a Chlcaao mall oritur hnnan
k Sam Upkir.s puffed under the weight
of a table lamp, while Albert Terry
looked sheepls hbecause all he had to
offer to :he (tod of love was tickets
to the county fair and they didn't make
much of a showing In Ills vest pocket.
They compared notes and were
about to araw lots or flip a coin to
; decide which of them should have the
honor of keeping- his engagement for
I he evening with the ideal of their
hearts when the idol In question apI
prared on the porch and delivered the
. extemporaneous address quoted above
Thereupon the brldeseekers adiourned
to tho insurance office of Sam
Upkins, at the foot of Turnip Hill, and
. the roses were put to repose In. the
garbage can, while the. chafing dish
, came into use as-an ash twyrthwHmpn
\ fulfilled its mission by dispelling the
( gloom which was fast gathering in the
office and in their breasts, and the fair
tickets wore'utilised to carry fire from
the one match which the quartet possessed
to the cigars which furnished
the ashes that were deposited in the
chafing dish.
By Mutual consent each of the four
desirables detailed bis Journeytfilong
41a a U.J.O. as Ia -..?I " -
bUo uuuiv ui uintuiMuujr tu ijucot ui ?a>
place to plunge In. Each had undergone
the same experience, invested in
the same presents tor the elusive Mattie
and met the same rebuffs.
Under the self-constituted presidency
of Mr. Terry the club thereupon
took upon itself the task of discovering
a key to ' the padlock on
Mattie Melvoude's heart.
"She wants some one who has lnk'
ventive genius?some one who has an
idea," said Mr. Terry, addressing his
fellow members. "Thereupon, it behooves
us to collaborate and find some
novel way to her affections. "When we
have come upon a scheme that looks
feasible we will hold a lottery and
the lucky man will be allowed to try,
without interference fro mthe rest, to
win the prize on Turnip Hill. If the
'If.. scheme fails, we will try another, using
?#? the lottery again. In that way none of
. us will encroach on the preserve of
' the other, and one of us ought to make
our dream of happiness come true.
Collaboration?that's' it."
The club adjourned to the next day.
when each of the members wsb to sub
I out ins pian ior me capitulation of
Mattie hfelvoude.
Promptly at 3 o'clock In the afternoon,
Messrs. Grayson, Hooper, Up
? . ltlns and Terry assembled in the in
tnrance office. Bach of them looked ex
pectant. for, having failed to evolve an
Idea of his own, each expected there
would be three other .plana submitted.
"When,the session was called to order
and the deplorable situation bo.
came known, four bright smiles turned
to four dejected frowns, and four
|i ' pipes were lighted and eight feet deposited
on the mahogany table.
V i "What's to be done?" inquired Presi
Ident Terry. "Have none of us an inl$-?
ttative? Are we going to'let this girl
If escape marriage with one of us four
most desirable men in the villake? Are
8$ii are going to let her woar her life
( . away, her beauty and charms unappreciated,
in that sordid candy fac,
The other three drew long and
HKr;' ?untiiu*iy on ineir pipes and wreathed
?;'i themselves in smoke* and said nothing.
Finally Mr. Grayson reached out and
plucked the Abonvaie Weekly 'Times'*
BjR ' . trom the table.
Iff.. "I tell you. I'm about ready to give
jgiv. up," he announced, and to prove be
Bp.: ' - had lost interest in love, he opened the
paper and began scrutinising It with
?> an air of absorbed interest.
The others smoked on in silence,
which was broken suddenly by Mr.
Grayson, whose feet bit the floor with
p';.. * a resounding bang, and who rose
Hp; clutching the newspaper with one hand
mk: and bis hair with the other.
"Listen to this, wonld yon?" he
Iptrty shouted. They withdrew their
|? feet from the table and pushed back
lb their chairs, all with due deliberation,
K tor the Mntuel Consolation Club was
Hp: a mere or less deliberate body. Never
tfedlees, they were startled and tome jfe
. what apprenhensive as to Mr. Grayson
. mental eondltlon, considering the probjjtjf*
fi |\| I T u /v |i
M 1*11 ? 1 fl M I 1
iUL il/ 1 / li
It 8?ms Impossible for Mo to Fo
Cartel* A
'If you'll only Just scream?or throw
something!" advised Mary Thomas as
she leaned over my shaking figure.
"But it you go on this why much longer,
just quivering, without making a
sound, you'll develop pleurisy or something.
Oh, my dear! My dear! Please
do stop!" she pleaded.
"I'm horrid, 1 know! Ungrateful!
Selfish!" I wailed. "But your advice
is no good, Mary. No good at all! I
can never, never make Bob woo me
over again!"
"If I felt that sure?and if it was
me " Mary stoppe dfor emphasis,
not to correct her grammar, "?if it
was me?I'd play?at being?another
I stopped my crying and sat up.
"How?" I asked.
"I'd lose myself. Then I'd meet Mr.
Robert Lorimer under another name.
Then I'd watch things happen!"
"You must have great faith in predestination,
Mary Thomas! A lot
more than I have! Do you actually
believe that there's one perfect love
affair, and one only, in the lives of
most women and men?"
"1 do honestly think that, if any man
had a chance to marry over again, he
would probably choose the very wile
he picked the first time, if he had a
chance." Mary insisted.
"Well, I do not!" I made the state
meat positively, "i Know several
types of girls who could anitch my
Bob away from me. once he is normal,
ouce he gets to thinking about women
and love, instead of politics and
"Belter beat 'em to it, as I've said
before," was Mary's terse comment.
"But not as Jane Lorimer, nor as
Jane Amos!" I continued in my positive
"Don't decide that now. You're too
ability of Mr. Grayson's having become
mentally deranged through grief.
"Just listen to this," the excited
Grayson repeated. "Mr. and Mrs.
George Melvoude, of Turnip Hill, announces
the engagement of their
daughter Maltie to Mr. Hiram Slocufn,
of Green Creek. Here it is, right here
in the society column."
The qnnrtetf Joined in a prolonged
groan, which was followed by another
excited action on_ the part of Mr.
urayson, wno suua my pomtoa out
the window at a lanky figure, carrying
a small package under its arm, sauntering
up the bill.
"There gees Hiram Slocum now!"
announced Grayson. "Quick, drag him
in here and make him toll how he did
It." i
The unfortunate (Hiram was forth-!
with pounced upon and conducted,
LrPt_ 8tipg, to Mr. Upkln'a office, where'
Ae was surrounded and made the target
for a barrage of interrogations.
He loked In vain tor an avenue of escape;
The Mutual Consolation Club
had him hemmed in so, discerning that
flight was out Of the question he
waited until the hubbub of their
voices had abated somewhat, then asked
a drawling voice:
"As I understand it, gentlemen, you
wish me to tell you how I came to win
the heart end hand of Miss Mattle
"You understand rightly," the club
assured him.
"Well," he responded, "I didn't exert
myself to any great extent. I simply
began calllug on her a month ago, and
when I asked her, night before last, it
she didn't want to bo Mrs. Slocum,
she allowed that she did. She confided
to mo last night, though, that it wasn't
my good looks that decided her. She
told .me the way I made a hit with her
To Ladies ij?|
Who are Stool
Pat i fatal UP ftajklt and beauty.
Bednee weight affnaiblr and eaaily; improve
; oar yUthjus figure. JOV
heart rouble, wrifila^ i^rfMesg,
weakne ies, etOgjflSudeMMnonal embarrass
tent, di^to dlMfly.
i Look and t&ryovbgtt. Walk
aprightl : Let Jrer eym sparkle with
new fei nr. SfBprisaJfnd doligfit year
friends. tili < n i n T Jr
Go tolthjSmt^Wj'ge^remall box
of oil of Herein (caosuljfl and follow
dirdctioik' of the ltvtejtT system. Be*
doeeVO f> 60 poundJander guarantee.
Bat ah ybn need (ioJumng some eandy.
if desired} while ^rcuciVk
Dost DOtherUbout king through
tiresome exerehA or following ralee of
itarv&tios didr Why not\ecome slender
withouturaatle dmgeYworry and
lelf-deniai f /Hero 'g your cfnucftl ,
vjelcrua^s a GOC
Me - i Douctrr TfiA
for*toe kloamd'
rr *n> tue owicb
TUI4W To wave iu
ER 10.
How Mary'* Advice?and Than Dr.
tired to think straight. Why, yon
haven't had a minute's sleep since
night before last! Go right up to bed!
Ill send up your dinner. And then, go
to sleep." And Mary reached out her
pretty hand and gave my fingers a]
tjuick prtnsure of sympathy a3 1
passed her.
I vt&b too tired to eat and too tired
to sleep. By 9 o'clock I was too tirqd
to stay in bed. I threw my kimono
around me and sat down at the window,
which faced the moonlit boulevard.
1 raised the shade just in time
to see Dr. Hamilton Certeis' roadster j
turn the corner. It stopped in front
of* Mary Thomas' terrace!
"Oh, la! la!" I said, under my
breath, as Dr. Certeis mounted the
steps and rang the bell. Then I heard
him speak of "Tiny." Mary's compact,
six-room suite has walls like
sounding boards. I closed and locked
my door, went back to bed and pulled
the covers over my ears.
Bat my poor brain was wound un i
tight, and it kept 'whirring and whirring,
to the effect that I didn't want
Hamilton Certeis to make love to me.
I had told myself that same thing five
hundred times in the last six months;
nevertheless, it made me perfectly
furions to have him pose as my devoted
cavalier while he was, at the same
time, the familiar friend of Mary
Finally, it occurred to me that Dr.
Certeis was Daddy Lorlmeris best
friend, as well as his medical adviser,
and that he might call on Mary for
business, ?ot social reasons. But 1
found small comfort in the lqgic.
One horrid fact confronted me:
Since Certeis had access to Mary's
little home, it could never be a biding
place for me. I must leave. But
where could I go?
was by taking her a bog of candy
every time 1 called on her.
"You feoo, she works all day long,
six days a week, in that candy factory,
and has to smell the fumes of the
candy continuously, but there's a rule
in the factory against any employe
eating any of it while on duty. She
says she ha3 aprinciple against buying
it for herself when she had so many
vcicoviM; auu nm cvAl j?a lilClB ttOOUl
yourself that you have \ever before
realized. i
! - ' t | ,
n> OM& oaI L 111 LOOK virai
weS dbiwepeD rr op Wen?
- tm'9 A wm I???*-? '
i A puc? OP Jr
7 aw?m?g - f,
*"lta '
"...i ' ' ^ - ' f :
male admirers who might get it for
her, but who, instead take her flowers
and everything else under the sun ex.
cept the sweet3 she craves. It's been
three years since she tasted a piece of
candy, sho told me. 'Course, I didn't
realty intend to db anything smart
when I invested in thoee chocolates
every time I called, hut she says It was
a great idea and showed inventive
genius, or something."
Now, if you could Just hit it right
by composing the words tor a popular
song, urged his friend, you might get
independently rich.
I know it, he groaned, but, alas, 1
am educated.?Boston Transcript.
Mr.i Joseph RfHSKuim, 5017 Drexel
Road,I Chicago J I#, writes Tyrrell's
Hygleplc Instt jJF of New York as fol*
lows: W
"Foi manj^ear* I^was a sufferer!
from foeumiftlsgp Neuralaa and Constlpatl
in, MBiKter trylna many remedies
pujfiiased your a. B. L. Cascade.'
Hwe been USWg it ten or
^tSttlvi /ears rnrtifM' it most benefiCTllH>?Mi|4fMmnoTe
ailments bare
disappeared >uid I now enjoy excellent
lioaltl V
You can help Nature' in Nature's
most effectual way, but internal bath*
.taanMfctbe "J. B. L. Cascade," and in
'ah' easy, non-habit farming manner
keep the intestine as sweet and clean
as Nature demands it to be .for perfect
health.\Orer half a million keen,
bright, healmy Americans testify to
its results. \
It is the invention of Chas. A. Tyrrell,
M. D., of New York, a specialist
on Internal Batling for 25 years, and'
;s now being shown and explained by
Fairmont PhajAcy, Fairmont, "W.
Va. They wijr bwglad to give you
free on requrft a Mbklet by Dr. Tyrrell,
"Whyjman of Ifeday is Only 50
Per CenUEfftcient," wuch is most in?re41t
#.*l 1 A
1 I r ^ I
- ' 'y '- - ' : ' - *
' "' 1 V
Mrs. J. 0. Huey Dies
as Result of the Hu
Mrs. Delia Harriett Hoey, wife of
r. 0. Huey, of Man&ngton. former
>OBtmaater, died on Wednesday afternoon
at her tome at Salt Lick,
lear Mannlngton, after a several
vaalra' IIImao. U.<*?
?? . , ; \ -i ?
- ?ll]
Worthington '
Death of a Relative.
Mayor J. Lane Parrish received a ;
telegram on Tuesday announcing the j
death of his cousin, Augustine E. Nay, i
of Wheeling, the death occurring in j
Baltimore hospital. Tour Mannlngton i
correspondent is slightly in error in t
regard to Mr. Nay as he was born In >
Worthington but the family removed i
to Mannlngton in the early sixties. 1
His mother was a sister to the late
Richard Parrish and Spencer M. Par- 1
rlsh, her only surviving brother.
Death of a Former Resident
The news was received here on J
Tuesday morning tHat Karley Smith j
had passed away that morning in
Parkersburg. He conducted a res- \
taurant and confectionery in the Vic- ;
tor building for the past two years un- j
til falling health compelled him to !
abandon active business. Tuberculosis
was the cause of his death.
Messrs. John and Thomas NefT, of 5
Buckhannon, were business visitors
here on Tuesday and Wednesday of !
this week
Finley Oakes was transacting business
in Fairmont on Wednesday.
Chns. T. Martin was transacting
business in Clarksburg on Tuesday. '
Chas. R. Atha was a visitor in Man 1
nington on Tuesday. j
Arch Martin, of Bethlehem, was a J
business caller here on Tuesday. 1
J. D. Victor, Jesse M. Wood ana
S. J. Sturm were on Helen's ran on
Wednesday appraising the personal 1
property of the late Ralph M. Smith. .
Bert S. Linn, of Bethlehem, was a *
business visitor in town on Tuesday.
Mrs. Walter F. Morgan, fif Everson,
was visiting relatives here on Wodnes|?;
Mr. Parkhurst tells how he :
found quick relief from ,
chronic bronchial
"Two years ago, I had an attack of
la grippe which left me with a bad ,
cough. Finally'this became a case of
chror.ic bronchial asthma, aAi four
doctors told me it could not up cured.
commenced taking everything
my tends recommended, /ut I got
worsainstead of better. Fo/fwpyears
I waskinable to do pny wokjmccjf to
coughUmstar.tlyjifght .arJTjfriy, jThlch
was thjumiaOfork I owrdijL
"FKVly IifiWhold oTJIlUfs Eninlsion/1%
Ijtoflrtjpd ppi jguch, rirkt
from th^ fP j ' r stP a r;cvlcured.
flesh rMf.fy-43/ M ./'fbrkhurat,
Leon iHottP, Ipd.
CoughsJl* the one rfuovar described
seldom ywli to local treat&entsO^ie
surest WiWto reach thenf J*.,-W*fluild
up and aurmgthen IhejMoie system. .
For any tjestinate coupi, Milks Emulsion
Is a remarkable remedy . i
lulAIVO OUlUiOlVU WW pjuaomu, uwvn- '
tive food and a corrective medicine. It
restores healthy, natural bowpl action,
doing away with all need ot pills and
physics. It promotes appetite and
quickly puts the digestive organs in
abafic to assimilate food. As a builder
flesh and strength, Milks Emulsion
is strongly recommended to run-down
nervous people, and it has produced
amazing results in many cases of asthma,
chronic bronchtis, and tuberculosis
of tbo lungs. Chronic stomach
trouble and constipation are promptly
relieved?usually in one day. |]
This is the only solid emulsion made
and so palatable that it is eaten with a
spoon like ice cream. A truly wonderful
meuWne for weak.Ackly children.
\ Jr
No lhatter now seyefc your case,
you are urged \ try Jjfllks Emulsion
under this guara*eeyrnke six bottles
home with you, ufty according to directions
and if n<JTsatisfied with the
results, your mom will be promptly
refunded. PricvBOi&md $1.20 per bottle.
The MiUp Emulsion Co.. Torre
Haute, Ind. JBold ami guaranteed by ,
W. R. Cray Drug Cm
ft / *'
McCrory'a 5 4. gOc Store, Ma|i 8t.
. 8
' ! ; ii ' I
r l BooewT Rob. Poe&THfe
, BM MttTAiee 1?1 ?1 TOM?
* '
" vufto uiua?( mio. uuc; puuvicu
in attack of influenza several weeks
tgo and neuralgia developed later,
vhich attacked her heart, causing
ler death.
The deceased was formerly Miss
Oelia Newell, a daughter of the late
F\ It. and Lucy Newell, and was aged
59 years. She was united in mar iage
wtih Mr. Huey in the year 1882
md two children survive the union,
bowery and Glenn Huey. Funeral
lervices are announced to be held on
Saturday atfaerno n at 1:30 o'clock
rom the family residence, and the
>ody will be buried in tlio Manningon
Teh Rev. Charles Baird Mitchell,
ector of Christ church, this city, will
:onduct the funeral services, Mrs.
Suey being a member of the Episco>al
church. A number of Fairmont
ipople plan to attend the services.
Mrs. Thomas Hunsaker is very ill at
ler home at Bellview from a nervous
jreakdown and complications. Mrs
rlunsaker had been very active in
lursing influenza patients near her
lome and her illness is thought to be
he result of overwork.
Skilled workers in Gprxrany are bong
paid extraordinm^hijh wagej^
Younj Man Comes^fck
Ono of our young met^re has come
to the f ont In short^Wder and hbi
friends o *e M a los^o understand bta-'
untiring energy J|?> nWlity
and get result where atyri few
weeks i? {pre l#Fe?M?T6 bt^.tll run
down ant ulriyt a nervous wreck, t
Questlc -oUfty a curious friend as to
thn tiuiv m \ 1'o change, he
said: ' I act \-fli in t; <t5rtl.apo at (I no ,
ors hnc-.jS better tv" /l did. It had !
r y gr- frir J *s > ' in m l my i
t.erven ' Tot to ' jT-- h won intent |
t.flfeai-- .-tiers tti;.; Sjv/ono dtv* I over- .
iiea^d a lOUitotui^idfe"!'. . v.di.-.: i-bor- I
phnt. 1 TiWttSrdor.o '{or .hint t.r.d I
could not got a supply quick chough. I
"Thai's (ho whole story. JJHt Phoiphnled
Iron. My poor tired overworked
nerves Just seemed to l>o Plioiphatchungry,
the way they took hold of It.
and say what a relief.. I felt like a new
man. Could sleep atjAlght, and Ret up
Irv the morning feolwK like a .two-yesrdIX
Believe me, M hart some appetite
totfjkmy weight Jfiorcas*d rapidly, my
raeewed out n?S had the color of perfeet
flfallh tMt only goes with pure
blood, 1*11 Mo with Iron.
"You c^r bet T am strong for Phoanhated
la* Everyono who tries It is
x booBUrt. X
"lyyou Mpw even the doctors are
trejrribing lt\trust them to get next
o? good thing*
Special Notlc^To Insure dorters and
;helr patients gelling the Oenuluo Phnsihated
Iron we have put In capsules
>nly, so do not allow dealers to sell you
jtlls or tablets.
Mountain City Drug. Co., and lead:
ag druggists everywhere.
RheuiMnVSMuffercrs sumlf
era pi t an wanap or^giTe rase
"Neuvone Prcscripisgal*waEM?ry
week n^s inriuryptfti <to the iraggi
list or perhtaniW^nres. Go to your
druggist todjfand get a SOe or 91.00
bottle.. It^ril^Mepay you many
times in /eaith. BM1 orders filled
OB $1.0iyilze. w
Mouni/h cuy Drug Co. and drugists
~ZJy fpuw A TWE . l?lZ
r ' ' ' I
r: jtt'if
I B^j T* ' '' J'#. , m I^^H Ha ^ ; H
i?% I
Again We MeiMH
the New^faM
/ illine^y?for
^ H flfflSy l^m
i ch^^^hIBSIEl^i^AHMk"^^^^^*'' ''t
IB 11 'Bw ?^i^99M9?ni&~i -' 'i.'^ 3?
^ cuiu nay era
THE PRICE/; at which^e fu r^shij||l^^B
djspendable Instruments ancpcour very eS^H
term willyfncourage Any fanfily
desii is th/better
Sva(y a P/ano or a Player or I
Q PVfor/rrudllff??ftvnnv hnwo Tinn^a'
v ? V* J ?tV4UV WMkJ '
* mi i 111 . i ^ """vp^siiffln
m vnjvG* m? ? umo) viuui^^j
1 i '- ,^
^ n nj-|_-|,_, __
I 3
I iWh ,
^1 V9I - . .'\jwm^H
nm * ' 4mm
tfHm :WffiM
ff/ffl ~ - - ' ' r"^-.<rfl^H^H
'if Hii :''V^^^HH
Ij? 1 iij&... ..'., ,;%'> V-", '4ill
.. ?: ! ; ' j.^-0-ii^tii j...... fluffsjafflgiBW!

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