The chappies love the August girl;
And send her tons of fol-de-rol!
Bu< the only men she lilois at all.
Are Neptune and Old i*>l!
—Tom Wren. ,
Amateur Artist—I should like to present this picture to some charlt ilde institution. Which one would you recom
Candid Friend—The Asylum for the Blind.
; iV- •' .
BAGGEDD THE WRGNG ARTICLE.
I" CboTly—Tom proposed on hts knees to the heireea last evening. •__
Tommy—Did he bag her? « ’ IT'" V .
| OboUy—No; only his trousers. / - ■
WOULDN’T “FIX” FITZ,
First Joker—T h^ard a fellow say hr'd make Fitzsimmons look like a stiff
when he got hold of him.
Kecond Joker—who was he?
First Joker—An undertaker.
SURE TO WIN.
Spadely—What did Jack marry Miss Fulhand for?
Heartly—She was a better player than he was.
OBJECTED TO THE WORD “WORK,”
One-Legged Haggles—I hear that Ragsde had trouble with Scragsy. Wot
was de matter?
Two-Legged Raggles—Why, Scragsy said dat man was de noblest work of
God, and Ragsie knocked him down.
MAN’S VIEW OF THINGS.
Mrs. Newwlfe fsobMng)—Foo-you said you'd always try to ple<**e mo. when
we were married; ‘
Mr. New\ved-W«l, I try to please myself; and you and l are one.
ETCHINGS FROM THE LOCAL FIELD.
(During the eons true Hon of the present!
court house, several yeaca ago, while
the circuit court held its sesufocs In ; be
Hood'building, on Twentieth str et, Cir
cuit Clerk Feigua Modi thy, hta deputy.
(Mr. W. L. (Howard, and A'.'torneyMjtL Ai.
and Ed Powell, who at that tim-tLifcii/1
offices lm the H'ood building, theug'if ft
meet amid proper to Jointly oeltibratlstiolr
arintivetruuirlos, Whvdh, they discover ifl; oc
c-ute, oddly cmiough, on the same. i|pte.
‘Last Thursday, '.the 29t’ii of July, was
again at hand. Clerk McCa'i thy and the
Attorneys PowelJ, who, by the way, are
twin brc*.'he:a, are 39 yeans old, with Mr.
iH'nwmJ eeveiu years their Junior. Tho
man er of a b. fitting- celebration conf'. 'VJ^.
<J '.he genetiemen. It Is said Al't^pneyi
Charles Powell would have likod to v n
dur a banquet, and it Is kn1 ,vn .hat the
others would have liked to a.tend. How
ever, the feast didn't materialize. la
stead, the. quat'o.te met in the evening
ar.d f- hcl.-ated themaettvev wit'll bloevlrg
putty at the mokon.
"I s.m agin' '.'he democratic party andl
everybody coavneoU'd with It,” said (,ha
mam with the red nuiiitache and hick, .y
shirt ,, ,.i
"80?" ! i. : . . :
“Yep.'' 1 i i ' 1 U
"Ain't square a'bou't vclin’. Always
on .he b at, specially Black Bolt or. a
That's me. That’s H.H Roger , '.hr ■ igh
and 'through. Lord. the way they do pile
up maj .lit.ti. e in the black belt, votin',
a feller lls me, dead mu!«*s when d' id
niggers is scarce. A 'black belt man'll do
ary thing in politics if—”
•'A moment," said' I, I tit erupting. “Sea
the gentleman evening—-the tali, hai..d
"Yep. Peart lookin' filler,"
"He’s a lawyer and a pt ht.tclan, an d lia
will switag himself up several rour.ilis-of
the ladder yet, mark me. I’ll .ir trodti'ca
you as h. pusses directly. Xow. (Mr.
McQueen, 'this is Mr. Rogers.”
"Glad to know, I'm sure. Mr. Rcge is;
Uhls is warm row diari't tihln—”
“Mr. Rc.gers and I,” said I. moving
away, “were just discussing ihe black
''Indeed. Oh, well, mow th-'ai'ts g ■ ..I,
don't you Mhitik, Mr. Rogers? You know,
Mr. Rogers, -ihe black blit ie my old
home. I was raised d'urn there, gr w tup
there, studied (.here.”
Should a client always seek and r.It
on the advice of counsel?
Attorney D. A. Green might eri'.ght n
the public on that query, for unlock »d
for results befell a client during the past
week who h d acted on th“ bright young
“Now, I’m sent for,” said the client, "by
the enemy. Shall I go?”
“I see no reason why you shouldn't.
By all means go.”
“But,” h sitated the client, “th re's
more than one of the enemy. Thor®
might be a row.”
“Pshaw," laughed Attorney Gren,
pushing the huge bulk of the litigant from
his office. "Go along with you. You're
big enough to take care of yourself!”
A few minutes later loud noises on the
stairway announced the rapid aseensi n
of a very large man., and in an' In start a
eudly altered countenance with a batt r
ed nr»? and bloody shirt front thr-w op n
Lawyer Green’s door and rhou ed,
"Didn't I tell you so? There was u ro m
full of the enemy. Attorney Greer, I
shall have to discharge you on th spot!”
“W-h-e-w!” exclaims Hon. S. W. J bn,
with supreme and expres ive denuncia
tion, not of the weather, but of th- propo
sition to eliminate-r.ia.tion il Issues from
the state platform. "Indeed,” he aids,
with emphatic confidence, "such an idea
is only advanced by namby-pardy p e
‘luinli.-rs and republicans!"
He's an expert wheelman and k cp3
abreast of ail new things pertaining to
the bik*. He is Ed Warren, Jr„ an 1 he
says that tho dhainless wheel will not be
Appropos of dog-days and dog-, fhura
are (logs and dog fanciers in Birming
ham. Prominent among those who de
vote attention to the dog family is Mr.
Tom Ashford. At his home on Pork
avenue (here are fift-eem full ^pedlgrea
pointers. He has four .lingo pups, one
out of Hester D., and a litter of .eight out
of his famous field queen, Ralsora. Th so
are sired l>y a dug whes lineage runs in
a clear unbroken line back through the
best English-bred hunters. This Is A' i>
Gull, a wlnsier h* thirty fle4d trials, arid
four times a bench winner—once in Cana
da and once in (Manitoba.
“Nick” and “Chappie” belong to Mr. J.
J. Garrett. With the character!* tio
shepherd d'.g's trait they can do every
thing hut talk. They are as fond of
sweetmeats as children, and enjoy a feast
of goobers like the proverbial G o g£an.
"Billy" Moughnn on Eighth avenue,
turns to the ungainly and ferocious bull
dog. “Slie-wee” is the night guardian,
of his premises. It is currently believed
by ail who have had a horrifying glimpso
of the beast, that she could amputate a.
limb as a hobo would amputate a sau
There is a late and interesting arrival
from Washington—clean, n at, rnrufted.
and comfortable in a plain suit of llnrri
crash. He does not permanently re- de
at the capital. Ho is there as reprerv.it
ativ- of (he Ninth congressional Gir-1":e-1
of Alabama, and, says C'ngre.sman Un
dervvood: "The principal is.-u.s before
the next congress, in my opinion. vvIT lie
the bankruptcy bill ai d the immigra
tion bill. The money question Is vir
tually put aside through the appointment
of the monetary commission, which 1 :.p
prehend, will fail to make a r* port dur
ing the next congressional session.” _
NOTICE—NEW TK1.EPHONE SUB
813—Cullom, E. N.: residence.
615—Alabama Abstract company and
Alabama Trust and Savings company.
74—Prowell Hardware company.
64—Talley, Dr. I). F.: office.
20—Gt-'-nn, L. J. * Co., whole sale pro
duce and commission merchants.
904—Newman Drug company, drug
906—Smith Bros & Co.. J. W\ Clay, mam.
ager. cigars and tobaccos.
CHANGE OF NUMBER. j
802—Davis. Rev. IT. O-: residence.
320—Davis. J. E., grocer. i
495—Darglr, Mrs. L.; residence. 1 i
S65—Mullen. J. T.: residence.
270—The Daily Hedger.
1337—Union Transfer company; Toll
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