The age-herald. [volume], August 01, 1897, Page 4, Image 4

About The age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1897-1902

Image provided by: University of Alabama Libraries, Tuscaloosa, AL

                
THE AGE-HERALDl
Entered, at the postoffioo at Biyfnlngrham,
Ala., as second-class matter* v
rz
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SUGGESTED BY THE OCCASION.
With this issue the old paper raises
new colors, spreads its folds to the
breezes, and appears before all the
people as the Age-Herald—a messen
ger of good tidings.
The Age-Herald is new, built upon
the old ground, but with everything
new and solid from foundation up.
It is proposed to make che Age-Her
ald the best newspaper in this region,
and neither labor nor expense will be
spared in perfecting its equipment and
extending its news service.
Primarily it will bo a newspaper and
it will be as bright and enterprising as
Lrains, money and hard work can
make it.
In politics it believes firmly in the
cardinal principles of democracy, and
with that party, as that party speaks, i
casts its lot.
Should it at any time differ with dem
ocrats it will make its fight within party
lines. When the party speaks it will
be with it as it is now with it.
It will be democratic and independ
ent; as independent as it is democratic;
as democratic as 11 is independent.
At this time, however, it is unneces
sary to talk polities. The building np
of our great Industrial interests and the
development of the material resources
of the finest rogion on the continent
are matters of such “pith and mo
ment” that they Bhould occupy the
present place in all thoughts.
The mission of the Age-Herald is to
build up—never to pull down. It will
strive with its might to develop Bir
mingham and Alabama industrial!}-; it
will protect the industries we have and
endeavor to extend them.
It starts on its mission wiih its face
„ to the sunrise, with hope in its heart
nnd with the determination to make
itself a potential factor in everything
that concerns the welfare of its people.
The .South has suffered less than any
other section from the prolonged finan
cial depression, and Birmingham and
Alabama are again forging their way to
the front, with brighter prospacts than
ever, in spite of the unfavorable con
ditions.
Now, more than ever Birmingham
needs a first-class daily newspaper de
voted to her interests and thoso of Ala
bama and the adjoining states. The
Age-Herald will exert itself to tho ut
most to satisfactorily meet the require
ments of the situation. Its owners feel
assuiod that the busy city- and the
great commonwealth for whose up
building they are woiking, are about
to enter an era of great prosperity.
The management feels confident that
the public-spirited people of this city
and section will heartily encourage its
efforts on the line indicated, and it
pledges itself to respond to their call
whenever it can be of service.
Too many promises in advance some
times excite distrust. The Age-Herald
prefers to lot its future course speak for
itself. It is enough for the present, to
6ay that it will, at all times, be demo
cratic and independent; a faithful ex
ponent of public opinion; an industri
ous news-gatherer, an active worker
for its people and a bright, fearless
champion of popular rights.
Watch us, Hiid see how we carry out
these pledges.
_ E. Wr. BARRETT.
OUR INDUSTRIAL FUTURE.
It is assured.
By a simple transposition of the first
two words of the foregoing- sentence, we
can open and argue -the ques'iion. but we
have traveled too far on tha road, and the
day is too far advanced and the sun
shines too bnlghtly an# clearly upon the
Industrial field In the Birmingham dist lot
to undertake to '.each aver again the
alphabet of our progress.
iWe know—all the world knows—that
our coal, our ore and our limestone. have
ft ttled the elementary ques Ions of econ
omy in iron manufacture.
Cheap fuel and of’.the beat quality, as
sures cheap and UnitntiLed power for all
the known forms of manufacture in iron,
steel, wood and the textiles.
We have .he fuel, without a question.
Cheap iron, all the world knows we have,
ond the unbroken and untouched foretu3
of our bottom lands and valleys, and hills
and rpouptain plateaus ta ar unquestioned
proof that we have the material at hard
for all the forma of wood manufacture.
Our cotton wmChbuses, and neceip s
nearing 3 hundred thousand bales of cot
ton by (hem, furnish the evidence of tin?
abundance of our resources in the raw
materials- for all forms of cotton manu
facture*.
Our furnaces and rolling mills offer all
the niw materials necessary for ally and
ail kinds of cast a-nd wrought iron-manu
factures, and, grea.i *r. of all our abund
ance in resnureeh. the problem of an
abundant supply Of cheap steel has been
solved, and the Birmingham district now
thrown w ide her gates to it-’ great world
of industry and Irtvitta tilts capitalist and
the artisan alike to partake of the feast
of wealth-making and wag- -o-.-.atlng re
sources set before them in such profusion
as can be found in no other spot on
"God's' footstool."
l.essuhan 6 score of^'ars have passed
since an the elementary questions which
deterrfilhcd the value of our coal for
steam and coke, and of Bed mountain
ores awddimestoue for iron making were
unsolved. Progress at first was slow
and expensive and but for the high range
of values of coal, eke and iron, it is
ain Open question whether with the slen
der resources at the command of the
pioneers of the Birmingham district
would have allowed of the consumma
tion of the splendid triumph which has
crowned the work so ably inaugurated
and skillfully pursued by them.
The o*'St of pig iron, for example, made
in the Birmingham furnaces a few jeers
ago, was more than twice the price it
will bring In the markets of the world
today. New furnaces and a new fur
nace practice has enabled this district to
sell,pig iron at $G without losing money.
We register the prediction, without
being technically accurate, that stee) bil
lets which may cost $12 at the outset, will
be made at $10 in less than two years,
at d that Birmingham steel, like Birining
•fesm plg' it'on, will sell in competition in
the markets of England and the con
tinent.
Only a part of the book of industrial
genesis has boon written. A new era
has Just begun. We have ihat which
will give life to genius and capital and
this valley is the natural home for yet
greater things.
A SaYYaSE.
John Tyler Cooper, who is now saving
n three months' Sentence in U10 Atlanta"
jail, reminds one of Judge Longstrcet’s
hero. Master WJlliam Mitten, who was
ruined bj- good luck.
Cooper belongs to a leading family, and
is related to ex-Presldeni Tjler. He
is descended from fire old revolutionary
stock, and is a member of the Society of
Cincinnati, an organization composed
of the mate descendants of Washington’s
officers.
Hr came out of the late war with a
g. od confederate record, and the people
of Atlanta liked him so well that they
have kept him ill office l’or about thirty
years. He has been clerk in tlie ordin
ary's office, mayor and cleric of the couu
tj' commissioners.
Unfortunately, Cooper began his official
life at a time when careless methods
prevailed. He was a natural product of
his sehO"l, and when Atlanta became
more sj-stemaiic he clung to his old ways.
Vv'hj- should he account for public money
or make an entry on his books today,
him. He used the county’s money
This habit of procrastination ruined
ruined him. He used the county's money
at his pleasure, but always with the in
tention of replacing it.
When he went out of office he ad
mitted that he owed the county some
thing, and asked for time to straighten
his accounts. Before he had paid the
money the grand jury indicted him for
embezzlement, and, though he made
the payment later, he was tried, con
victed, and sentenced to pay a fine of
$r,m> and stay in Jail thrte months. The
governor refused to knock off the Jail
sentence, and the former mayor of At
lanta will have to serve his term.
It is a sad case. The man was guilty
of no intentional wrong. He'knew that he
could replace the money he was using,
and he saw no harm in it. Everybody
seemed to like him, and the thought nev
er entered Ills head that anybody would
tr>' to disgrace "Sod humiliate him.
Ore morning he woke up to find that he
was mistaken. He w&s singled out to
be sacrificed on the altar of Justice. Sim
ilar cases had been settled, but his was
to be made an exception. Even the gov
ernor would not interfere. He had re
funded every dollar, and was ready to
pay his fine, but certain influential men
demanded his humiliation, and he was
sent to jail.
The case teaches more than one les
son. It should teach men never to
wrongfully use the money of others, and
never to violate the law under the im
pression that their political friends will
protect them. A public official must
be above suspicion if he would be safe.
SPAN IS H-A M*E RICAN TRADE.
Birmingham and Alabama should use
their best efforts to bring about the com
pletion of tile proposed Nicaragua canal.
With this -water route between the two
oceans, many of the leading products of
Alabama would be shipped from Mobile
to every Spanish-American port on the
I Pacific, a* wsCl as the Atlantic, and they
would also find ready sale In the Aelatio
, markets.
But we need not wait fur the canal be
, fore we invite Spanish-American trade,
i It is not enough to send a few drummer*
V
Into the countries south cf us. We
shouM advertise in their local- papers,
furnish the- goods that suit them, pack
them properly so they may be transport
ed on mule back, and we should give th-e
same credit accommodation now givtn
by European, merchants.
Jf we would reach out and re-cure the
trade of the*' countries there wou'.d rot
be r touch of hard times her? for a cen
tury to come. Our merchants, manu
facturers and producers would be kept
busy supplying the demand from this
now quarter.
It is hard to explain why we have so
lo. i.j neglected these profitable customers
at our doors. The only re ason that can be
given Is that our politicians concentrate
so much of their attent on upon seeking
office ar.d hoi-ding It that they have no
time to devote to our comm.rclal inter
ests.
PROSPERITY.
Our republlnain wltempoirarits are
Jubilant ovar the bui.-to ss situation. They
c'J.cfane tha-t pi -epeuity is already hi ire.
Bind lih-eir columns are fl'M-bd with let.-ers
aind imUervkws, to which their leading
ytattte.micin are br.i.'husi-a.ptlc over th*a
bt-igh 'i ir ou tlook.
The Ag.-Herald is no calamity howler,
but it embraces thie opportunity o say
thalt the people a,re not Indebted to the ;
republican party for th.® imp'rovem nit in
tradle airel industrial circles. The di pres
s-ton bias simply run Ita course; ,ihe re
action has come; the pendulum is begin- !
nimg to swing backward. The people l
have economized more, wrorked harder j
amd saved more than thi -y ever did before
in itlhete live®, am-d thie lfuneof conduc: hr j ,
been their salvation.
iHert in Birmingham wo got through j
with the- boom fever lorg ago, a.nd set-tkdl
down to work under .hose healthy, nat
ural conditions which promote a sure a-ml
sti od.v growtlh. With our matchless ami
'injeatlvauaUlbte resources t-h'e city Is bouiml
to ivecome wihhln a few year® p -chaps th.®
larges-, souirhem metropolis'. Its growth
will be rapid enough, and our in erests
will neriuire no booming.
Thie tilling to do rJC'-v is to plain aind,
build up for .'hi; future. Let us have no
temporary make-shifts. Every public im
prove me mit should be so conisiruitcd as to
make it answer the meeds of the genera
tion to come after us.
Birmingham will be a big twsintStth
centaiiiy city, aind ft -Is n-c. too iarly for
Iwr to try 'twentieth cfim.uiry methods.
Eugene V. Debs says that his mew .
Bchieme is "i'r.dut'irtal, social and politi
cal.” It Ib trueiy refreshing ,o know that
after the vast a.miount of idleness he ban
bei «i inetrumental fan enforcing, from time
to time, that he has at last (tJinm na-.eJ
ind-usUry as one of the fundumen-al prin
oipltis of his phiio.-0-phy. t
The Jap an eise mf.'n inter at Was/hlc g ton
announces! that ihlh govcrnimont hats de
cided to ace-pi arbitration In scttlem- at
of existing difficulties w'ijh the Utiijedi
Slates. The oourit.ty is doubtless reMeved
to feel that all danger of becoming,
through conquest, a dependl ncy of Japan
is, for the present, avet ted.
Bishop Turner takes a gloomy view of
the future of the negro race. He be
lieves that the recent epidemic of lynch
ing is one of the Almighty’s warnings to
the blacks to leave this country and go
to Africa. If the bishop will exert all his
Influence to make his people behave
themselves they will get along very well
in their present home.
The good people- of Geoigia are greatly
worried over the lynching business, but
it will all come right in the end. Lynch
ing and the crime which provokes i't can
not last in a progressive and enlightened
country. The two evils will gradually
die out and become ancient history.
The smalFpox scare was greatly exag
gerated in some of the outside newspa
pers. It never amour.t-d to anything.
Every city in the country has an occa
sional touch of it, but it is speedily
stamped out.
MaJ. Moses P. Handy will make an
ideal special commissioner to the Paris
exposition. He will captivate the
French in s*ven different languages, and
make his whiskers the reigning style.
The Alabama weeklies a e growii g bet
ter and brighter every year. They
show the unmistakable signs of first
class newspaper ta’.fcnt.
Georgia's governor Is about to wrestle
with the school book trust. He will
think that he has tackled an octopus be
fore he gets through.
Postal savings banks have worked well
fn England. Why not try them in this
country?
Pull for Birmingham, read The Age
Herald, and you will be happy and pros
perous.
POINTS AEObT PEOPLE.
Christian K. Ross, father of the lost
Charlie Ross, left an estate valued at
$23,000. He bequeathed it all to his wife,
Sarah Ann Ross.
The empress of Japan has just present
ed to Prof. Todd, of Amherst college, an
"Imperial Sake Cup,” In recognition of
thep rofessor’s attainments and of his in
terest in the education progress of Japan.
The cup is bowl-shaped and simple in
design.
Three young women in Germany have
been recently commended for their thor
ough work in pharmacy, and Fraule-in
Eva Bosse, a daughter of the German
minister of public worship, has been pro
nounced by Dr. Fraulich, president of
the Imperial German Pharmaceutical so
ciety, to be one of the most excellent and
gifted scholars he has ever met.
The cross of the Legion of Honor is
asked for the Duchess D’Uzes by the cit
izens of Valence, where her monument
to Emile Augier has been set up. They
recall the fact that one of her sons died
while on servloe In Africa and that the
other is also a soldier. The monument
is the one which the Jury refused to ad
mit to the Champs Elysee salon.
Juliette Atkinson, wl\o is again the
champion woman tennis player of this
country, was a chorus girl in a comic
opera last winter. She made this hum
ble start with the! dea of advancing In
her profession, and she announces her
intention of continuing in the future to
play tennis in the summer and stick to
comic opera in the winter.
A. D. Bartlett, who died recently In
London, acquired International fame
through the fact that he was superin
tendent of the London zoological garden
when the well known elephant, Jumbo,
became so uncertain of temper that It
was unsafe for children to go near him.
Mr. Bartlett sold the brute to Barnum
for $10,000 and the seorm of protests that
followed almost ousted Mr. Bartlett from
the zoo.
AN ALABAMA MEDLEY
Sweetheart Mistreas Margaret.
.(Sweetheart Mistress Margarelt, t
Were each star a jewel ret * '
In the rich night's coionet,
I would give them all for fhec—
For that gla-rce you gav; to me:
For that glan-ce that you'fl forget.
Sweetheart Mistress Margaret.
Sweetheart Mistress 'Margaret,
'Being taught In Love's net,
Ere Love's golden sun Is sat
Let they lips, with roses rife.
Kiss the lig'ht Into my life
With that ltlss which you'll forget.
Sweetheart Mistress Margaret
An Alabama citizen who gav? $500 to a
charity doesn't wish a word said about it.
He forgets however, that money talks.
An Italian professor has discovered
that we are really living “on the inside
of the earth." The sky is. therefore, 'the
roof, shingled wit'h stars,
The Neiw York World has engaged
Joaquin Miller to dig gold for it. It
takes a mint of money to run a New York
newspaper.
On a certain occasion an Alabama
sheriff wired the governor:
"I'm afraid a mob will lynch my pris
on lei. Can't 1 har.-g him privately, by
law?”
A eorrespc-r'l’nt, writing to a Texas
newspaper, concludes a long letter with
this certificate of good character:
"I was born In Alabama
In 1861;
My noble -father fit an' fout
, At Shiloh an' Bull Run.
“I never cut no capers
Out in the woolly weft:
I take the Texas papeis,
But like Alabama best.”
fit may be obj icted that 'the above Is not
poetry but what's poetry, compared with
the plain, unvarnished truth?
b°ma Nu^g»ts,
Be of good cheer: Even if the wcrld
should dry up, the politicians won't.
When the cyeHone takes the house off
the true philosopher thanks God that the
land’s left.
It! doesn't pay to be always looking
back. The world only turns round once
in a| -day.
Happiness comes by the pint measure;
misery by the bushel, and the world’s un
happy because it’s In the wholesale bus-i
re-a.
L4ve lives in oastles, but he’s frequently
absent wheel the landlord calls for the
rent.
"The longest lane has a turning." but
sometimes it turns so short that the wa
gon keels over.
An Alabama darkey, observing the
eclipse, of Thursday, was heard to re
mark:
"Eh, eh! It mus’ be powerful hot up
dar when de sun take de moon fer a
umbrella!"
Some of the North rn periodicals are
offering prizes for poetry. It is to be
hoped they will b? successful in securing
it. They really ought to publish poetry
occasionally.
It’s trouble would be brewing
Fur hearts that lov- to roam,
If Love should go a-wooing
And hearts were not at home!
The stars your eyes are viewing
Would leave the darkened dome
If Love should go a-wooing
And h arts were not at home.
O sweet! a dream pursuing,
Afar from Love you roam;
And Love Is weary wooing
The heart that's not at-home!
FRANK L. STANTON.
Armor Plate.
England and Geramny- pay $425 per ton
for armor plate, yet it has been demon
strated that t can he made profitably at
$300 per ton in tills country. At any rate,
the smiate has decided that the government
will not pay more than $300, and unless
the armor manufacturers come down off
their high horse. Uncle Sam will start up
an armor plate manufactory of his own.
And he will be forced to put up a steel
plant in connection with it. This will en
tail an investment of several millions.
Uncle Sam is notoriously extravagant in
conducting his business. Ex-Postmaster
General says that there is an outlay of
$1,000,000 a year In the postoffice depart
ment that Is entirely unnecessary. Uncle
Sam's armor plate will probably cost him
$400 per ton. But he can avoid this exor
bitant cost by locating his manufactory in
Birmingham. Here he can get iron and
steel cheaper than anywhere else in the
world. If he Is the shrewd fellow he is
credited with being, he will not hesitate
for a moment. He can ship his plates to
Mobile and have his ships put together
where lumber is cheaper than anywhere
else in the United States and where work
men can live well and cheaply on fish and
oysters.
Cruel Hint at His Honesty.
Old “Joe” Foster, who is a familiar fig
ure around Conshohocken, was selected
a few days ago to make a collection for
the burial of a colored friend. It took
much perseverance on the part of oje to
raise the amount, but he finally succeed
ed, and the funeral became an assured
fact.
The gossips, however, could not allow
the occasion to pass unheeded, and just
as the "Id preacher was In the midst of
his discourse Joe overheard the folio-w
ing dialogue between two dusky dam
sels: "I wondah what Mistah Fostah
am a-gwlna foh to do wlf de money dat
am left ov&h?”—Philadelphia Review.
■ An Ad “For Men Only.”
(Molkie—-I judt 'th-ln-k Rubbers & Co. aTe
ns horrid- as they cant be. They are -try
ing to succeed under false pr- tenetB,
Lucy—How 1b tha't?
Moll 1 a—Yea.enla y they headed their ad
vertisement, ‘This BhouM be -read by -ha
mein anily," and -there It was all albo-ut
their bargain*! In shirt wafclta and sum
mer dlreas goods!—Cleveland Leader.
One of BulTalo Bill's periodical visits to
Paris has given Rosa Bonneur, who Is
now 75, and has for years done little
work, an opportunity to study the bisom,
and the result was a large picture rep
resenting a herd browsing on a snowy
plain.
ETCHINGS FROM
CURRENT TOPICS
The effort being made* to “create a public
sentiment" in opposition tb lynch law la
commendable, whether it cornea from tho
preps or from the pulpit.
On last Sunday, in many of the most
prominent churches of the south, eloquent
ministers endeavored to awaken the con- (
sciences of their congregations upon this j
present all-absorbing topic, and tho daily
journals, north and south, have teemed |
with columns of matter hi condemnation ]
or extenuation of lynch law. There have
been expressed by preachers and writers
the most diverse views as to the cause of
the trouble. Some of these views strike at
the very root of the evil, others only at
tempt to lop off the obtrusive branches,
which in this night time of disord r have
cast their baneful shadow across this fair
land. Jt is useless to cut these branches
unless the roots wh’ch nourish and give
life to the evil are destroyed. All the ap
peals of speech or pen, to the better na
ture of Americans, will not avail to destroy
this blot upon our civilization until that
innate sense of Justice*—inherent in the
hearts of our people—Is satisfied that an
honest effort will be made to render the
criminal laws of the country active and
positive.
Americans, and especially southerners,
can be trusted to abide by the laws, pro
vided those laws are executed promptly,
and without an effort to defeat the ends of
justice being made by lawyers of ability
and integrity, as well as by lawyers with
neither attribute. The quibbling pver mis
erable technicalities, and the granting of
endless "new trials," have been the direct
cause of more mob violence than any
other trouble, save that crime upon de
fenseless women, which mankind, in every
clime, can be trusted to settle, without the
aid of court or juries.
• mm
It is worse than useless to write or preach
dawn at the people while the practice of
the criminal law remains as it is. Give
them .prompt and honest trials, prompt and
honest verdicts, and a speedy execution of
those verdicts, and there will be small need
to preach sermons, or write columns, to
create a “proper public sentiment." There
will never be a healthy condition of the
public mind as long as there is a childish
trifling with the great machinery of our
courts.
The interminable trials, of worthless
criminals, concerning whose guilt there is
not a shadow' of doubt, have exhausted
the patience of the most conservative peo
ple of all sections, besides costing the bur
dened tax payers vast sums of money. The
specific cure for lawlessness is a better and
speedier execution of the laws. The people
can b* trusted to abide by those laws when
there is no longer doubt a<s to the power
and intention of tho courts to protect the
citizen-, and not the criminal.
* • »
When the telegraphic wires flashed over
the country, a short while ago, that Amelie
Rives—now a princess with an unpronounc
ablc Russdau name—had been stricken with
nervous prostration, at her desk, while she
was writing her now book, the world sym
pathized with her misfortune. But it also
wondered why she should have been Sud
denly debilitated, after having passed
through such a varied and picturesque ca
reer. This is at last explained, by the
statement of the plot and motive of her
latest contribution to our literature* Her
new novel, it is said, will advocate celi
bacy, and was inspired by the gifted au
thoress’ admiration for Tolstoi's "Kreutzer
Sonata."
As Amelio Rives has shown such rei. k
able matrimonial proclivities, and has at
present two living husbands, she has cer
tainly not practiced what she now sees
fit to preach. Such a wide difference of
principle and experience must necessarily
prostrate even a more vigorous woman
than thet fair Virginian,who delights to live
with the white light of notoriety beating
fiercely upon her. It is somewhat late for
the “purpose" of Amelie Rives’ book to
have much effect upon the reading public.
Her matrimonial career is a matter of
current history.
Dr. Samuel Minturn Peck has been writ
ing fiction, and thoroughly good fiction, at
that, for more than a year. His first ro
mance appeared last summer in one of the
popular magazines. It is to be hop?d that
liis stories will be to Alabama what James
Lane Allen’s have been to Kentucky;
Charles Egbert Craddock’s and Will Allen
Dromgoole’s to Tennessee Christian
Reid’s to North Carolina; Grace King’s to
New Orleans; Richard Malcolm Johnston’s
and Joel Chandler Harris’ to Georgia. Our
beautiful hills and valleys teem with untold
romances, and the world eagerly awaits
the telling.
• • •
Lieutenant and Mrs. Long arc a very
unfortunate couple, whose marital misfor
tunes have aroused the pity of newspa
per readers. And the saddest part of the
whole matter is that the post, or town
wherein Lieutenant Long and his wife
lived did not boast of a “Blue-Book." Had
such a publication been Issued by some en
terprising citizens of their town, perhaps
all their subsequent misery and woe might
have been averted. As It wras, Lieutenant
Long did the natural, but, it appears, un
pardonable thing of marrying the girl
whom he loved, regardless of the appalling
fact that he was a full-fiedGred- lieutenant j
in the U. 8. army, while bis sweet young
wife was the only daughter of a sergeant
commissary! For this grave offense, this
reckless young couple have been tabooed
by all the swelldom of military posts, and
their lives made- miserable by endless snubs
and slights. In despair they have decided
to separate for awhile, Mrs. Long return
ing to the parental roof, while her young
husband assumes his former social position j
in military circles.
Perhaps it was this pitiful 9tory of the
Longs’ infelicities that has been the in
spiration of the Atlanta Blue Book, which
will appear early in the autumn. The so
cial world of Georgia tremulously awaits
th>e coming of this arbiter of fate, which is
being so well advertised by its energetic
promoters This Blue Book proposes to
give, not wily a list of Atlanta’s “four hun
dred," but tho names of many respectable
citizens who only flourish on the suburbs
of fashionable life, at Georgia’s capital.
It is said- to be greatly meded in that
bustling town, where the social lines be
come woefully mixed sometimes. With a
Blue Book Lieutenant and Mrs. Long
might have avoided the indiscretion- of fall
ing hopalesaly In love. Their dismal expe
rience is an argument in favor of Atlanta’s
latest enterprise. BALL.
Not Beady to Abolish the Napkin.
Practice which has b^n attem-pteU In
Kngland, of doing away with the use of
table napkins 4s no* likely to prevail heie
to any extent soon. The idea in not usi. g
napkins is that table manners should be
so perfect that the fingers will be as
daintily clean at the close of a mea.1 as at
the beginning. But we still have here
the woman who finds it necessary not
only to dip her fingers in the finger bowl,
but to moisten* her lips from it, and she
1a usually a lady in other respects. It is
practice only a shade more reprehensible ,
than that of the woman who uses her
drinking gl<aes for a finger bowl.New
York Times.
Better Than Some Husbands.
"But I thought your husband was such i
an active man."
"Active! If it weren't for me, I don't
believe he’d get up in time to go to b*d."
"Ah, well, that’s better than some hus
band*. you know, who scarcely go to bed
iu time to get up.”—Harper's Bazar.
§ OME OLD STORIES
IN A NEW VEfo.
Some old stories. Yeg, T know lota r>t,
them; some of them are chestnuts, m the
boys say.
By the way. I was down In a little AlaW
toama town a few years ago. The county *
fair was in progress. One of those old
fashioned one-ring circus?-**, with a clown
of the Johnny Lamlow variety, was show
ing. I went to it with a crowd of young
people. We all sat on the top bench, eat
ing peanuts and having a merry time.
Ju3t in front of us sai two women. One
of them was of the ordinary type from
the low country. The other was a prim
itive old maid. She was perhaps 55; she
was tail, angular and diign-itt-d She had
evidently no: been to town before for
many years. The sight of a man was
strange to her. and from her appe-aranco
She yet had aspirations for the marital
state. She was prim. Curls which had
evidently be on carefully rolled around o
reod .he night before dangled over her
forehead from beneath the folds of a pone
bonnet. Upon her hands she wore old
fashion d block mits. She sat erect and
looked straight before her into the ring.
The performance had been going on for
some time when the clown ambled n.
He bore in his‘hand a newspaper, and he
announced with many flourishes that he
would read a poem wrlt.en to him by he
able editor. With those foolish motions
which a clown indulges in to amuse the
children he pretended to be fax-sight- d.
He held the pap-rat -arm's length to read,
tout apparently that was not far enough
to suit his vision. Then he rested it
against the center polo of the tent and
proceeded to tack off until he got to ho
edg1 of the ring. Still his point of vision
was not satt.-fled. He thought a moment.
A bright idea seemed to 3trike him. Suit
ing the idea to .'he moment he rushed to
the paper, spread it upon the sawdust
and 'then folded n gr at horse blanket
many times over until it was fully a foot
in thickness. He laid this over the paper.
Then looking Into the 'blan-ke', he pre
tended to be -able ";o read the print and
proceeded to recite his poem.
Th.? old maid, who sat in front of us,
look-d upon the elew-n In perfect amaze
ment. She then turned and looked at us
In apparent horror. She blustered and
gathered herseif clos*? to her companion.
Then she stood up and, turning to her
compandem said:
“Mary, if that there clown can read
that there paper through that there
blanket then these clothes I’ve got om
ain't no protection to me, and I think I
had better go”
And with these remarks she scurried
over the seats holding h*T shawl and
other objects between hers-df and Iho
clown until She disappeared from the
tent.
« * •
Ham. Snollygoster Ham, the Georgia
humorist, was here the other day ?n
route! to Tennessee, where he went to
lecture.
Haln is a queer chap. He's makirg a
mint of money out of lecturing. He
actually wears good clothes, he looks
sleek, fat and well fed. He has ills
clothes made'by a tailor now, and he pays
full $50 for every suit.
And yet I well remember when Ham
used to come down to Atlanta in a Jim
Swingercoat, all slick at th*» back—a coat
which his grandfather wore two genera
tions before his appearance.
Ham's first appearance outside of h's
country bailiwick was in the Georgia
legislature a half score of years ago,
where he made himself talked about by a
humorous speech on the subject of terra
pins. He had 'Introduced a bill “by re
quest” to protect the tamale terrapins on
the Georgia coast.
Ham had never seen the ocean, nor
had he ever s-en a sea terrapin, but he
had seen gophers and had been told that
terrapins were of that species.
Like ail people who don’t know any
thing about the subject they are to talk
upon, he made a hit.
Though here but a few brief moments.
Ham couldn’t help telling a story. He
was talking about the white men—the
business men—who had voted the repub
lican ticket In the south last fall ant
especially about those over In Gc rg'.a,
where Mark Hama and his man. McKin
ley, have appointed n.groe-—blatk,
woolly and woozy negr. es—to high of
fices in the state.
“Oh, they are sorry they did it—th-se
fellers who voted the repub 4 i ticket,”
said Ham. “They won’t do L any more.
If they do there will be nobody so poor
as to do them honor. The people will
have about as much use for them as did
the widow of old John Stoneceypher, over
in Hal! county, Ga. John was no ac
count, he wouldn’t work, but layed
around the house and c nsumed what his
industrious wife and his boys and girls
mud? on a little farm. John turned up
mlssin’ one day. Search was mad? for
him, supposing he was off dru' k. Fin
ally in the course of a week some neigh
bor suggested he had possibly been
drowned. -They dragged th ? c e'k under
the foot log and there they found John's
body'. The remains were in a sad con
dition, identification depending princi
pally upon his apparel. They brought
him home and laid him out on the floor
of th? one small room of his late n s -
dence. The stricken widow set her arms
akimbo, and looking calmly down upon
-him, said: “Well, he’s pretty dead, a'n’t
he?” Seeing something unusual about
bis mouth she stooped down, caught hold
of it and pulled out an eel. Th head
of another took it3 place and so on until
she had a half doz* n squirming on the
floor.
"Well, what shall we do with him,”
sympathizingly asked one of the party.
“I guess you had better take him Lack
and sot him again for eels,” said the eld
lady. ‘'It’s the or.ly thing he over
brought into this house.”
His Etaine Belay'*’.
His ma. bequeathed him money,
'A -title cram (Him pa;
His wardrobe cam e from Paris,
His cane from iJHaloc-c-v.
From Persia came his cigarette— 1 .
His liraliia have not arrived as yet.
—Truth.
Prison Insanity.
Houston Post.
The anti-oantraet prison law in New
York, whioh practically leaves the con
victs In that state in Idleness and gener
ally in solitary confinement, continues to
produce a startling dcvel- pment of in
sanity in the big prisons. In addition to
the many cases of insanity and suicide
which this enforced idlen-es cans-s, the
cost of supporting the convicts Is m w be
coming burdensome. This brief expe
rience is ufilclent to demonstrate that til >
best way to handle state prisons, is not
in keeping thep risoners without some
useful labor.
■ s