Newspaper Page Text
E. W. UAKKETT.Editor Dally and Sunday Age-Herald.*®-®® Dally anil Sunday, per month. *0 Sunday Age-Herald, alone, per annum.. J.OO W eekly Age-Herald, per annum.I-®0 All subscriptions payable In advance^ Fred L. Allen and H. L. Parrish are the only authorized traveling representatives of The Age-Herald in Its circulation de partment. Remittances can be made by express, postoffiee money order or drafts at current rate of exchange. Address THE AGE-HERALD. Birmingham, Ala. 1HF CKLY DAILY NEWSPAPER IH ALAIAWIft On the Main Track. A deficit is a deficiency in treasury money towards meeting liabilities that must be met. If Is not a deficiency so far as the funded or unfunded debts of the State are concerned, for such debts do not have to be met by current taxation. The Montgomery Advertiser expends about a half column In an explanations that does not explain. Like all discussions of the alleged deficit it Is confusing rather than clearing. The trouble probably is, there is no deficit—no deficiency that must be met by current taxation. The case presented by the Age-Herald is , briefly this: Auditor White makes the bookkeeping deficit of the State at the be ginning of this month $184,564, and he pre sents these items of liability: Agric ultural fund .$ 53,659 Convict fund . 48.833 University fund . 56,000 Total .<158,492 At the most these are unfunded debts, and should not be included in a statement of a deficiency that must be met by im mediate taxation. If the Advertiser would expend its space upon these three items, It would present something pertinent to the issue. It would do something towards clearing away the bookkeeping deficit that politicians have juggled with and confused from time out of mind. The esteemed Advertiser need not waste its valuable space upon ancient history or rates of taxation, or even the present State administration, which will soon be ancient history also. Let Auditor White’s list of liabilities be examined and let us see what the deficiency is that must be met by cur rent taxation. The Age-Herald declines to enter the mase of figures that the Adver tiser presents. Life is too short. Let the Issue be confined to Auditor White’s short table, which needs assorting, and the Ad vertiser can do the assorting in short or der if it will address itself to the issue, and not to musty law and mustier history. Ali Colors in the United States. Ttoe United States Supreme Court, which is Republican from Justice Sliiras up or down, as the reader may prefer, will huvo many Interesting questions to decide very soon; but not one will be more interest ing than the one that defines the political status of the new possessions. Is Hawaii, Porto Rico or the Philippine archipelago a part of the federal republic? If so, the people of those Islands are Americans, en titled to all the life and liberty and pur JUIt of happiness that the mainland Amer ican enjoys. This question came recently before ait United States judge In Honolulu. A Chi naman—John by name—sailed from New York to Honolulu. Under the Chinese pro hibition act of the United States the au thorities sought to exclude him—endeavor ed to prevent him from landing. Judge Estee, however, decided that Honolulu is an American port, and that John Chinaman had a right to move about in his adopted country as much as he pleased. If this decision secures the sanction of the United States Supreme Court 20,000 Chinese in Hawaii and a vast indefinite number in the Philippines are, if not Amer ican citizens, entitled to remove freely from one American port to another with out limit or restriction of any kind. This would add very largely to the yellow pop ulation of this country, giving us about all the colors that the human race Is capa ble of, for we have some red men left, and a very large assortment of black men. Cuts in Sugar. The recent cuts in sugar are not alto gether due to rival companies or manipu lations of a stock-jobbing sort. There is a great deal of raw sugar to come on the market. The Louisiana crop now nearly due will be fully 300,000 tons; the West Indies crops are heavy, and the beet sugar crop, buth at home and abroad, is abundant. The active selling season at the refineries Is ended, and It may be that they are en deavoring by sharp cuts In the fag end of the supply for the season, to secure raw sugar at lower prices. Instead of squeezing the cotton farmers they are squeezing the sugar planters; but the latter are gener ally well heeled against such schemes, and they understand them to a nicety. Refined sugar should sell fully one cent a pound lower, and the Indications are that a new basis will be found at about that re duction. Beet sugar is the disturbing ele ment, and Its production is yearly becom ing larger. New Hampshire’s Population. Contrary to promise. New Hampshire followed Arkansas out of the census box. Alabama was promised, but perhaps Ala bama has "growed" so fast she was held up for further examination as some pros perous cities are. At any rate, New Hamp shire's population was reported last Satur day. In ten years this ancient State had grown but 35,068, or 9.3 per cent. Disappointing as Arkansas' return was, New Hampshire's \ Is still more so. But it was long ago de cided that New Hampshire is one of the best States in the Union to move away from. Her sons, and daughters, too, emi grate as soon as they are able to go alone, and have money enough to buy a railroad I ticket. They are to be found in all the newer States, and few t;ome in to take th£ir places. Her water powers have been utilized to i some extent for cotton mills, and she reaps a summer harvest from hay-fever sufferers, but emigration overcomes ali these ad vantages, and she does not gain even the normal birth rate. As States become old they become stagnant, unless they are richly endowed with minerals as Pennsyl vania and Alabama are, or unless they bu'lld mills and therefore cities as Now York and South Carolina are doing. After all is said, it is the modern factory or mill or furnace that gathers and maintains pop ulation. Agriculture unaided cannot do it. Mills can—mills big and mills liittle, and Alabama should keep this rule in mind. Mafty of her towns need mills, as the forth coming census report will show. Any baby is liable to be kissed now-a-days unawares by a candidate. But not in this State, unless the Congressional candidates undertake this task or liberty. The Michigan Supreme Court has decided that the Dingley-McKinley tariff is illegal, for it says that no power can tax A’s prop erty for B’s benefit. Dr. A. Conan Doyle, Tory, was defeated in Edinburg when ho ran for a seat in parl iament. He Is not himself a Sherlock Holmes. Alabama should rise up and demand her alphabetical rights in the census office. New Hampshire and Arkansas have displaced her. Washington will accept an Emperor If ■winning teams in the games go along. New York will need two Emperors at least. An October statement of the Sultan’s lit tle bill has been sent him. It shoud have borne the legend, “Please remit.” All true members of the house of Vander bilt wear Htle side-strap whiskers in front of their abundant ears. Field Marshall Count von Waldersee is an epicurean, and he is now trying a wide as sortment of new dishes. An Administration that cannot catch Ag uinaldo cannot solve anything of import ance or value. Millionaire Clark and Millionaire Daly should arm their respective followers with gold bricks. Conan Doyle’s anticipatory parliamentary duties will not interfere with his literary career. The candidates and spellbinders in the gas belt of Indiana are endeavoring to beat Na ture. What is w'anted in the northeast is mild weather until the hard coal strike is set tled. The man who made Rockefeller has just died. He sunk the first oil well in this coun try. Bryan clubs to the number of 7353 have been organized, and are actively at wrork. In Pennsylvania the empty coal bin keeps company with the empty dinner pall. When the Dowager Empress moves the capital she also moves the Emperor. Mark Twain is returning to his native land wearing Populist whiskers. They are trying to cut off Prince Tuan’s peacock feather at his neck. The augurs at the respective national headquarters sadly disagree. Wonders will never cease. Even a French duel has proved fatal. The campaign is neither overheated nor free from mugginess. General Apathy has by no means deserted. The spellbinders' center is Indianapolis. RETS ON THE ELECTION New York, October 8 —James Kllduff. who is largely interested in Pittsburg steel com panies and wealthy, is willing to wager $100,000 or any part of it that William J. Bryan Will carry Ohio, McKinley’s own State. His offer has been brought out by the statement of Joseph W. Ullman that the odds were 5 to 1 that McKinley would win in Ohio. Mr. Kilduff. as soon as he heard of Mr. U liman’s declaration, offered to take the Bryan end of the argument for any sum up to $100,000. Mr. Ullman refused to put up, but offered to bet $10,000 to $2000. Mr. Kllduff put up his money today and Mr. Ullman will post his later on. ‘‘I am not a plunger,” Mr. Kilduff said to day. ‘‘I look upon this as a sheer business proposition. “Mr. McKinley is in grave danger of los ing his own State. Mr. Ullman has poor information. I will bet any part of $100,000 at 5 to 1 that Bryan carries McKinley's State. * Mr. Kllduff has lived at the Gtlsey House for several years. About $1,500,000 has been wagered on ihe election in Wall street so far. One broker age firm has negotiated bets amounting to about $75,000. Richard Croker is credited in some quarters with wagering about $>•.000. Some bets have been made within twenty four hours at 3 to 1 on McKinley. The av erage is 2 to 1. Edward La Montague, a . street broker, wagered $3500 to $1000 at the Waldorf with a Tammany man that McKinley would win the election. Bell & Co., for a customer, offer to bet $12,0W against $2000 on McKinley. FIRST ON RECORD From Town Topics. “The poor thing,” piglied the King of Sparta, after the fickle Helen had eloped. “I’m afraid that love of dres9 turned her head!” “What makes you think that?” inquired the lord high chamberlain, sympathetic* cally. “From inquiries I have made,” replied the King, “it is quite evident that for some time past she has been receiving* a daily hint from Paris.” ATLANTA .SCHOOL OF ECONOMICS From the Atlanta Journal. When Hanna says there is no trust he clearly shows that he has never run a coun try newspaper. It is all trust—and take pay in potatoes and cordwood. Hill Will Campaign In the West ■*» Chicago, October 8.—Former Senator Da vid B. Hill of New York, it is unofficially announced at Democratic National head quarters in this city, will take an active part in the Presidential campaign in the West. Steel Mill Resumes New York, October 8.—George R. Blan chard, former Commissioner of the Joint Traffic Association, died at his home here today after an illness of several weeks from a complication of diseases, including nervous prostration and erysipelas. Mines Start Up Knoxville, Tenn., October 8.—A special to the Sentinel from Middlesboro says: “The Reliance Coal Company opened Its mines this morning after having been closed on account of a strike. About twen ty-five non-union men went to work, but Organizer J. W. Howe, of the Mine Work ers’ Union, says they will soon come out.” Rolling Mills Resume Columbia, Pa., October 8.—The four roll ing mills of the Susquehanna Iron and Steel Company resumed work Ihls morning, the sixteen hundred employes who had been on strike for two weeks having accepted the terms of the company, a cut of 25 per cent. Constitutional Guarantee Suspended San Domingo, October 8, via Haytien Cap ital, October 8.—The government has de creed the suspension of constitutional guar antees on account of a revolutionary move ment in the interior, headed by General Plnchardo, although It Is asserted that or der has been restored and that Plnchardo has been captured. All Is quiet here. htrlk* Renewed Lowell, Mass., October 8.—The strike at the Hamilton Print Works, which, It was announced, was settled last week, was re sumed today by the bleach-house employes, who claim that the agreement under which they returned to work was violated. Unless their places are tilled promptly the whole ffprint works will soon be obliged to surpend. Money for tiie South Washington, October 8.—The shipments of money to New Orleans and St. Louis and Chicago sub-treasurers, for the movement of cotton crop continu d from the trea«sury. The shipments today were $400,000. On Saturday last the total shipments for this season amounted to $10,440,000 against $5,426,000 for the same period last year, showing an increase to nearly twice the former amount. Of the total amount New Orleans has received $6,340,000. The treasury officials regard the turns as showing unus ual prosperity in the south. Pao Ting 1' u Expedition Pekin, October 4, via Tien Tsin, Sunday, j October 7, and Shanghai, October 8.—The American troops will not participate in the expedition at Pao Ting Fu. General Chaf fee has the assurance of Li Hung Chang that if the allies desire Pao Ting Fu, the Chinese will readily surrender that city. Li Hung Chang has given the same assur ance to the other generals. The Americans believe that revenue and military display are the only objects of the expedition, and they hold it will retard the restoration of peace. The Russians are understood to have practically abandoned the railroad and to have stopped its reconstruction. General Chaffee favors the return of tho railroad to its owners and its reconstruction and op eration on a joint international basis. The first reinforcements of German troops have arrived here. MacArthur’a Casualty 1.1st Washington, October 8.—The War De partment has received from General Mac Arthur the following casulty list: “Manila, October 8.—Adjutant General, Washington: Following deaths have oc curred since last report: Dysentery, Septem ber 25, Company I, 38th Volunteer Infantry, George W. Brewer: Company C, 16th In fantry, Corporal James A. Bush; September 28, Company C, 22d Infantry, Walter O. Cunningham: September 12. Company K, 19th Infantry, W. J. Gardner; September 19, Company A, l»th Infantry, Charles Mayer; September 13, Company F, 29th Infantry, A. Rice; September 17, Company D, 19th In fantry, Julius Hletz; September 24. Com pany I, 6th Infantry, Eugene Shine; Octo ber 3, Company B, Battalion of Engineers, U. S. A., William A. Nobs; October 4, Com pany G, 17th Infantry, Sergeant Martin A. Madden. “Typh 1,1 f;ver: September 29, Company A, 39th Infantry, alter Morgan, Acting Hospi tal Steward John A. C. Huemiekems; Sep tember 16, Company D, 29th Infantry. John McCarthy; September 25, Company G, 26th Infantry, Sergeant Clinton S. Baker. “From all other causes: September 24, Company F, 34th Infantry, Beaure ReLer ger; Troop A, 110th cavalry, Fred R. Lyons; September 15, Company I, 18th Infantry; I’orter H. Voorhels; September 12, Company Iv, 43d Infantry, James E. Clark; Septem ber 23, Company L, 6th Infantry, CoqJc F. Gould; September 18, Company F, 43d Is> fantry, John Buchanan; September 22, Com pany C, 30th Infantry, James McLaughlin; October 1, hospital corps, Nei Hansom; Octos ber 3, Company I, 30th Infantry, Courtiaiul ; MacLean; October 5, Company B, 34 !»■ fantry; William P. Schall; September 1th, Company K, 32d Infantry; Arthur P. Hav erman; October 1, Recruit Hugh Smith. SOLILOQUIES OF AN OLD MAID Men claiming to be children of destiny usually help themselves to all in sight. A young minister kisses only the pretty brides, but Uhe magistrate kisses any old thing. Figures do not lie, but men are mean enough to say that many figures are pad ded. Men do not have their pictures taken ouen because it enables them to see them selves as others s'ee them. Poodle dogs and band boxes are thor- ’ oughly detested by men. Men think that a girl who wears French heeled shoes is necessarily gay. The greatest nuisance that theatre-goers have to contend with 18 the man In the next row who has seen the show before and wants everybody to know It If men were taken at face value few of them would ever go to pa (r^ IN HOTEL LOBBIES AND ELSEWHERE Astrologer Raphael’s prophecies for this day, Tuesday, October 9, 1900: “Court, marry, seek work, and push thy business before 3 o'clock In the afternoon." “Expect many annoyances and some losses and changes In thy business; avoid speculation and keep thy business well In hand.’’ “The young will court." “A child born on this day will be very active and restless, but on the whole rather fortunate.” “Jf a female, she will be very feeling, affectionate and kind." Astrologer Raphael’s prophecies for Wed nesday, October 10, 1900: “An unfavorable day." “Thou wilt experience losses, law and sickness; keep thyself very quiet and run i no risks.’’ “A child born on this day will be very rash and headstrong, and unfortunate." “Hire maidservants; brew strong drink In small quantities to avoid possible cold.” w • • Oom Paul—not Oom Paul Gilardoni, but he of the fleeing house of Kruger—will be seventy-five years old tomorrow; and such Americans as admire that sort of man ipight authorize the Illustrious “Web’’ Da vis to send him a cablegram congratulat ing him “in the name of all the American people" for his “heroic" devotion to the “deathless’ principles of liberty, from which he is now* engaged in running away. But, like Little Bopecp who lost her sheep, the lovers of old Kruger don’t know where to find him. Unlike Mary’s little lamb, wherever Oom Paul goes his wife and his Boers are not sure to go. It is given out that the old man will begin his final run tomorrow; will celebrate his diamond an niversary by sailing awray from South Af rica with a peck o’ diamonds and bushels of gold. He is going to live in beautiful Avenue Louise, in beautiful Brussels, Pe tite Paris and garden of delight, home of renegades like Louise Michel, Boulanger, Victor Napoleon, and so on. “Presldentess’’ Kruger remains In Pretoria, on the alleged account of 111 health. Fancy George Washington, in event the American struggle for liberty hod failed, running away from the British and leav ing behind him the good Martha and the noble patriots of his army! Fancy Robert E. Lee flying to a British warship and claiming the protection of the crown, as Kruger has fled to a Dutch warship and claimed the little Queen’s protection! Even Napoleon, who fled to a British warship, his enemy, leaving France outraged and desolate, did not present as sorry a spec tacle as Paul Kruger presents! King Charles did not attempt to escape the re sult of his cause in its failure, but died by the headsman’s hand, and in courage died like a King! Fancy Robert Emmet or Parnell taking to their heels to escape the penalties of their patriotism! They made the scaffold and the jail noble; they didn’t know how to run away, as old Paul Kruger is run ning! • • • "I have been down town all day buying winter things!” declared one of the rarest of lovely women yesterday. She was rosy faced and happy, and likewise natty in the black jacket that covered her shirt-waist. The chill in the atmosphere gave her in creased warmth of nature; increased Joy to a heart for ever joyous. Her abundant good ness was yet more abundant. And she was living mark of the autumn that is come, with its cooling breath, its healthfulness, its uncounted happiness. She didn’t know' how lovely she looked, nor realized how much of human pleasure, coming of the atmos phere and of the mind, she represented. Somebody tell her in part? This woman of goodness and loveliness was fair type of hundreds and hundreds of women who were down town “buying win ter things.” That plural noun “things” means more to women than any other ten words in the English tongue, “love” In cluded. “Fix things” may mean to a wo man hours of toil and years of bliss, or the other thing. "Things” had greatly to do with the lives of great numbers of fair women yesterday—“winter things”; and the streets w’ere a.11 the brighter and more at tractive. Speaking of women’s “things”, the com ing of cool weather yesterday had much to do with men’s things. The straw hat wasn’t knocked out, but it received a crushing blow. Its yellowness was evidently yellower than before, and, to use a strictly original phrase, its “days are numbered.” But the fact of most Importance in men's attire yesterday was the sudden and brave appearance of the overcoat. It was grey brown. box-cut, neat and tasteful. For tunately it was worn by a neat and tasteful man; a good-looking man, clever and like wise genial: a real gentle man withal. Charged with the “innovation,” the man plead illness, and was more than forgiven, for the sight of that overcoat was almost as comforting as the little black jacket that covered the shirt-waist of the lovely wo man. It in silence told eloquently of the passing of the blankedest—blankity—blank blank—blank period of dust in the dustiest town on earth! These be not melancholy days—they are Jolly, O so jolly. A learned doctor at dinner yesterday made a brilliant and entirely original ob servation concerning the happy change in the weather. He said that summer was no longer tickling the knees of fall! Tut, tut! • • • “Jordan, ’02, is staying in town this year. The boys in barracks miss ‘Mort’ very much.” Same here! “The boys” in this newspa per’s “barracks miss ‘Mort’ very much.” As may be guessed, the reference to “Jor dan, ’02,” is from a college newspaper. Jn fact it is from the Crimson-White, pub lished bi-weekly by the students of the University of Alabama. “Mort” is Mr. Mort imer Harvey Jordan of Birmingham, late of the office staff of the Age-Herald, and still of the Age-Herald. It is not “journal ism" for a “journal" to speak respectfully of any one who assists in making it read able. But this is “newspapering" here, and this is a newspaper. And therefore it may be written of Stuc^nt Jordan—they call him “cadet” at Tuscaloosa, and that is quite proper if he is “a young man in a military school”—that his fellow-work ers here regard him affectionately. He is not only of bright mind and generous and companiorable impulses, but he Is alto gether a most lovable young fellow. In him are the elements of a most excellent news paper man; and whether he elect the slav ery of the graphite pencil, he has strong qualities of successful manhood. “Miss Mort?” Why, everybody misses him! • • ■ Isadore Levy, editor of the % Forkland Progress, whose death by appendicitis is announced, was a conspicuous young man In Greene County. He was an editor, a merchant and a politician. His first ap pearance outside of his county was In a contest for the chairmanship of the Demo cratic committee of Greene, which was brought before the State committee In ses sion at Birmingham early in the present year. The committee was favorable to Mr. Levy, In that It took no action to sus pend him. He was a member of the State Press Association, and was present at the Birmingham meeting, July 16-17, and was with the party of press excursionists which went to Pike's Peak. “Mr. Levy's death is very shocking and very sad,” said J. Asa Rountree, secretary of the Alabama Press Association, last night. "He was here last Monday, and was as happy and jolly as ever I saw him, and apparently as well. He had been a member of the Press Association for ten years, and had attended every meeting. He was three times a delegate to the Na tional Press Association conventions; and he was one of the happiest and brightest of all our members. His death grieves me greatly.” • • • Colonel N. F. Thompson of Huntsville was In Birmingham yesterday on his way to New Orleans to attend the forthcoming Southern Industrial Convention. He ex pects the convention to be the largest and most influential meeting of Its class yet held in the South. There will be wrarm sympathy through out Alabama with the Rev. Dr. B. F. Ri ley, whose church, the First Baptist church of Houston, Tex., was practically destroyed by the storm wrhich devastated Galveston. Dr. Riley appeals to all Bap tists and others to aid him In rebuilding his church; and he should receive generous responses. Dr. Riley was born In Alabama, and with the exception of six years as professor ot English literature in the University of Georgia, he has always resided In this State, by the people of which he is justly honored. He formerly resided at East Lake, where he was the distinguished pres ident of Howard College. • * • The office of the Dixie Horae and South ern Manufacturer, Mr. J. Asa Rountree's wide-awake and prosperous paper, has been removed from 1917% Second avenue to 1912% Second avenue, Birmingham. • • • Col. M. D. Wickersham, one time post master of Mobile and now United States District Attorney, was in Birmingham yes terday on his way to Chattanooga to at tend the reunion of the Army of the Cum berland. • * e Maj. A. A. Mabson of Montgomery, an officer of the Tenth Regiment of Immunes in the Spanish-American war, is in Bir mingham. . . • Colonel Falkner is at the Morris. MR. DINKENSPEIL ON THE BACK TAX LAW My vife says I lags ehudgmendt undt Rcdt says I vas defiston in crey madder, but I vas satlsfactloned dot I vas not all kindts of tarn vool all der times, mebbe. Ven der gorporations undt der pig undt licklle tags payers vas grylng “down mit der tags law/’ “down mit der pag tags law,” I vas as gomplacendt as Marganna maigs oudt he vas aboudt Maginley’s elec tion, undt says to myselv der pag tags lawr vas goodt enuv for me. Undt vy? Pecause I got Benz ablenty undt gbts ahed der pag tags gommissioner ehust as easy as a log vails off. How I does id? Veil, ven der panlg vas here I bot a nlze lot undt house for tventy von hundret dollar, undt ven der tags aze zor sents for me I puds Id in for sigs hun dret, because It vould not pring dot much at a force sale mit no pidders, pesites I paidt too much for id enyvays, mebbe. Der tags list hadt a lot of qvestions aboudt solvin gredits, money hortet, tlmondts, chewelry, undt so on fort, but I nefer couldt understands English ven id vas in fine brint. Undt vy shouldt I pay tagses on my tlmondt studt, undt my vlfe’s rings, undt on der tree tousant dollar ve haf In pank, ven utter peoples doan pay on dose tings? Undt vy shouldt dey pay ven I doan pay? Undt vy shouldt eny of us pay so much ven der Goundy of Chefferson vas alretty payld von-stgsd der tagses of der Stade, vile she only gots von-haf der Stade ovices, mebbe? But I doan got troo ven I svored to der list, nod by a plame sidt. Der pag tags gommissioner haf me citationed der Poard of Revenues before, to pay tagses on adeen hundret dollar for my lot undt house. He maigs a speeh undt say he vas gonsid erable oxperienced mit der values of real estates, undt dot he vas qvite sure my broperdy vouldt pring tree tousant dollar on der marget easy, but he only asgs dot Id be raist to adeen hundret. Den der Poard calledt on me for a speek, undt I says: “Chentlemens, dot lot undt house vas nod vat id vas grackcd up to be. Id vas pilt ven Buminham vas in ids infandry, undt vas a oldt house undt lot vat leegs undt chakes ven der \in doan even blow, undt chakes vorser ven Id do blow, undt der vater In putties unter der house standts. undt Id vas In der vorse sord of bad repairs, undt dere vas lods of nuzanzes in der naper hoodt, undt I vas a poor man mit only von vife undt no childrens, undt if der pags tags gommlssloners geeps on piling der tagses up my vife vlll haf to took in laundtry." I liged to vink ven I sail dot, but I geep a stlv ubber lip undt doan vink a liddle bid. Vat der Poard did? Id pud Ids hets to getter undt gonsiter vat I salt, undt gon slter vat der pag tags gommissloner salt, undt done vat Solomons stardted mit der baby to do. undt vat some of der poys dids mit a pottle of peer ven dere tangs vas fell—id splidt id in two, undt ralst my azezment sigs hundret dollar. I letted on like I vas derribly lndignatloned. undt vent oudt gussin der pag tags law undt salt I vas gold to haf It repealed. But id will be a cold day In Septober ven I podders dot law, undt doan you forgld Id. Vat I dids negs year? I puds him in for sigs hundret, chust der same. Mebbe I geds caudt, mebbe I doan. Iv I geds caudt I goes to der Poard undt says: “Chcntlemens, you doublt my tagses last year agalns my brodest, will you do Id vonce more ven boverty vas loogln me in der faze mit all four feet? Vlll you do id ven der deglaration of independence says you must prodect der life undt liperdles der beeple undt let dem alone In der pursuit of properdy? Vill you do Id ven der cldy vas doubllnt her tags rate efry time she gant pay interest, undt she haf chust bit off anutter big moutful?" But der Poard vill nod be vts iply avegded by by Hide of oradory, undt vlll maig der azezment der same ,as .dey malt Id ven I salt my udder speech,' undt I kigs, but I doan klg no vorser dan a young voman kigs ven a nize feller kizzes her. I haf a standid ofer for tirty-seven hun dret dollar gash for dot lot undt house, undt von of dose times I sells id, undt doan pays no tagses atal vatefer. A. DlKKKNSPGUu. ( SKETCHES FROM EVERYDAY LIFE "One night in September,” said a visitor recently, "the ne^s of the Galveston dis aster was rumored on 'the streets. Wish ing to get something authentic, X walked around to the Age-Herald building and went upstairs to the editorial rooms. These had the usual appearance of such places papers scattered on the floor, piled up on tables, the reporters and editors scribbling away at their desks, the telephone ring ing, the printers coming for copy and the public straggling in occasionally for news. Over ail the various sounds could be heard the scarcely intermittent click of the tele graph. “Outside in the street not a breath of air was stirring. It was hot Inside, but here at least was an electric fan, the hum of whose blades made a low, murmuring note lilee the drone of a June-bug. Right in front of the fan, in a shocking state of decollite, sat the Associated Press opera tor, generally known as the A. P. man. Before him was a typewriter, out of which rolled long sheets of typewritten paper, as his fingers flew over the keys with light ning rapidity, while by his side was the telegraph receiver, clicking away so fast that an untrained ear could not tell a dot from a dash. “He was the central figure of the scene, and he is like the main-spring of a watch. If he breaks down, the rest of the ma chinery can’t run. I looked at him In amazement. His utter disregard for his life startled me. I would as soon have thought of going to sleep in an ice box as sitting in the full draught of that electric fan, with nothing between it and my back but a gauze undershirt. Poor fellow, 1 thought; he will be dead of pneumonia In. a W'eek. This was a montl^ ago, however, and, I may add, he is alive yet. “He was also the center of interest that night, for everybody wanted to hear from Galveston. First came a telegram from Dallas that the wires with Galveston were down, and that it was rumored that 2000 people had been drownejjL Then came in a long story about the disaster. The type writer was rolling off sixty-five words a minute; the electric fan was putting in several hundred revolutions in the same time. I stood around greatly interested In the scene, and particularly in the A. P. man as he transcribed sounds into words. Then came a hot bulletin: ‘Twenty-five thousand people drowned in Galveston!' he called out. Then the telegraph instru ment fairly began to hum, singing a bass note that harmonized, with the whir-r-r of the fan. The typewriter rolled forth Its coils of paper, and copy was rushed up stairs to the printers to be set up in type. This went on for a while, when a private bulletin of the Associated Press came in instructing the operator to ‘kill’ all the news sent in so far, as a new story was to be sent out. It was then pretty lat>e, and little time was left to set up a new story. However, an A. P. man can turn out 125 words a minute. The telegraph in strument was nowr going so fast that It seemed that dashes were rendered by dots, and what should ordinarily be dots were left out altogether. The typewriter rocked and groaned as the A. P. man wrung 125 words out of it every sixty seconds. Final ly the story wras set up about 5 o’clock in the morning, when the presses of the Age ilerald published it to a horrified public.” * * * It may be interesting to explain how a telegraph operator receives 125 words a minute. The telegraph instrument receives about fifty, but these are sent in cipher. For instance, tiio instrument clicks out the letters p-r-a-n-s. This means the Presi dent today sent to the Senate the follow ing nominations." While the telegraph clicks “pra-ns" the operator has to print on the typewriter the interpetration as above. Then the typewritten matter is given to the printer, who sets it up in type, c-k-x means “committed suicide"; s-a-k, “shot and ldlled"; p-o-t-u-s, “President of the United States”; u-t-c, “under the cir cumstances"; F-z, “Philippine islands”; k, "out of the,” etc., etc. In the middle ages, some times called dark, as lights were expensive, and people lived in the dark after sunset, it used to be the custom for men to lock up the wo men in towers or other strong places in tht castle—women being valuable in those days when they could sew, embroider tapestries, heal wounds and fall in love. It was a fad of the time also for the knights to rescue their ladye faire from a tower, instead of picking them from off the carpet as is done now. A lady who did not have a tower from which she could elope stood a poor chance of getting married. She was as useless as a parachute without Us balloon. Consequently it was “the thing” to be lock ed up and liberty was a curse not to be de sired. What would have become of ro mance if it not been for the donjon, the locked up lady, the locked out knight and the iroubadore stumbling around after dark and breathing night air? How could chiv alry have bloomed like a rose, and revelry blossomed on the nose, if there had not been a lady or two to rescue? Hovers in those days never broke a father’s heart, they always broke his head'. Some times they did it with a battle-ax and some times with strong drink. In either case the lord of the castle, or as he would be called now, the old gent, was put hors de combat. Afterwards he was put to bed if he was still alive or put in his grave if he was still dead. • • • A story comes from Baltimore that the women are now turning the tables in the matter of imprisonment. A man has brought suit against his niece for $500 dam ages, alleging that she has frequently as saulted and beat him during two years, and during taat time kept him imprisoned for long periods of time, some times in the bath room and some times in the cellar. The Inference is that his niece did not use the bath tub for a long period of time, dur ing which it was probably more conveni ent to keep the uncle shut up there. The long period of time durtng which the uncle was kept imprisoned in the cellar, was probably while the niece was using the bath tub getting herself tidied up a bit Some idea of the length of time it took her may be gained from the statement dn the uncle's suit that once while a prisoner in the cellar he dug a hole through tho walls ajid was fed by neighbors. In the first volume of the “Count of Monte Christo” it Is said that it took an Italian abbe many years—almost a lifetime to dig a hole through the walls. In Baltimore the walls are not so thick, but those interested in knowing how long it took the uncle to dig through and the niece to tidy up can mjik* iavuatis*uJon£ on their own hook.