The age-herald. [volume], May 04, 1902, Image 14

About The age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1897-1902

Image provided by: University of Alabama Libraries, Tuscaloosa, AL

                
OUR SUNDAY PAGE OF.PICTORIAL FUN
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A SURE SIGN;
A GOOD HAND:
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Mamma—Wfiat’s the matter dear?
Tommy—I don't feel welli mamttltL
Mamma—I was afraid somethlrig was wrong, you were behaving so
aicely.
Wiseman (looking at a pair of fives)—I’m only a beginner at this
game; gentleman, and I’ll have to ask a few questions. Is three aces and
and ft pair of kings a good hand?
Others (in chorus)—Oh! fair, I drop.
Wiseman (taking the money)—Oh! I merely wanted to know. I only
have a pair of fives this time.
HOT SHOT,
II fVS,
V • » ■ - - _
Tired Thomas—Kin yer lend me a
garden rake fef a few minutes?
Hashsllnger—Whateher want with a
rake; eh?
Tired Thomas—I'd like to rake a few
stones out of that pieee of mince pie
I ordered-.
“What dish would you like Dent* Mamie* dear?"
Mamie—One like the Waiter is taking th that gentleman.
A OGGI, GAU=£fl»
i
“So your teacher punished you?”
"Yes; she asked wno Invented the cotton gin, and I said Cotton
Mather.”
DIDN’T DO THINGS BY HALVES.
I---— I
> ‘ ^x/
Mrs. Youngwed—These are the kind of pies mother used to make.
Youngwed—These are the kind of dyspepsia tablets father used to
take.
A CINCH.
First Kid—You ought to be ashamed
to tell lies. Ain’t you learned that In
Sunday-school?
Second Kid—No; we ain’t got so far
as that yet.
Miss Dukkets—Did you toll Mr, Getbere I was not In?
Maid—Yes, ma'am.
Miss Dukkets—What did he say?
Maid—He said, "Well, tell her to come down as soon as she Is in.’*
He'S in the parlor.
' NOT MUCH ROOM TO SWEEP.
I/et s take a sail.”
"No; let's take de whole boat.”
\
Sullivan—What’s ye doin’ now, Pat?
Pat—Sure and Ol have th’ contract to tear down an A. P. A. hall,
an' th’ Joke av It Is, begorra, Ol’m gitti.:' paid ftir’t.
- y ..
He—I love you, darling. I swear it
by those lofty elms in yonder park.
She—Don’t swear by those, Regi
nald.
! He—Why not?
She—Because those trees are slip
j pery elms.
\ WISE LITTLE GIRL.
“What yo’ doin’ out here, Auntie?’*
“1'se jess er sweepln’ oft de front stepa.’*
AN INFERENCE.
City Boarder—Have you ever been to New York, Mr. Hayrick?
Hiram Hayrick—Wal, I guess I was buncoed there before you were
born.
He-=-I must warn you, dearest, that after we are married you will |
very likely find me Inclined to be arbitrary and dictatorial in my manner. .
She—No matter; I won’t pay the slightest attention to what you say.
V' 7 I I lot L
Little Flossie—How much is a pound
of insect powder?
Drug Clerk—Five cents.
L. F.—And how much is that for a
half a pound?
D. C.—Three cents.
L. F.—Please, sir. I’ll take the other
half.
GREAT PRESENCE OF MIND.
Mrs. Jackson—Did you see Mrs. Browns collection of rare old cninaT
Jackson—Yes; her family must have been quite poor.
Mrs. Jackson—Nonsense. Why do you —ink so?
Jackson—Well, if they had been able to keep servants, she never wouHJ
have had that collection of rare china.
“Hurt dog beats the deuce.”
‘Tea; Ms name la Tray.”
"Why do you keep that old candle on your desk?”
"Well, you see, electric light only gives sixteen candle power, and
sometimes I want seventeen.”
She (alter he has proposed, in an
aside)—Oh! this is so easy!
He—What did you say?
She—Oh! this is so sudden!
rw \ _
He—Z heali Jeems Johnson Is doing * anon game down Soul.
She—How Is dat?
He—Why, he’s shelling peanuts.