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CHAS. G. MOREAU, Editor and Pnblliilier.
VOL. 11. THE STATE DEPARTMENT It Needs a Heroic and Systematic House-Cleaning. Barnacle!) with Long Titles Who Consider Themselves Better Than Other Ameri can Citizens—Secretary Gresham's Commendable Course. [Special Washington Lcttcr.l A shade of sadness, a blush of shame must necessarily mantle the cheek of every true American citizen who calls upon the officials of the department of state to transact public business. It is a great misfortune and a crying shame that the department which has con trol over our foreign affairs is so imita tive of the alleged dignity in similar departments of the old world. Nearly ten years ago your corre spondent was a government official in the post office department when Wal ter Q. Gresham was postmaster gener al, and at that time it was my good fortune to become pretty well ac quainted with the man and his meth ods of executive administration. On account of some of his peculiarities of manner and of diction Gen. Gresham was a man with whom I could never become particularly friendly; but for his high moral and official character, for his absolute probity and patriotic determination in every particular, every one yho comes in contact with him officially has high admiration. Consequently I have no word of ful some flattery to offer concerning the man, but have no hesitation in utter ing encomiums upon the character of the eminent gentleman who is now at the head of the department of state. Not for the purpose of turning out one set of employes merely for the sake of putting another set in, but to satisfy himself as to the real efficiency of the service, Gen. Gresham has de clared in the inner circle of a few friends who are near unto him that he intends to entirely overhaul the de partment of state by a weeding-out process which will be advantageously applied by the infusion of new blood. There is no doubt that such an infu sion is greatly needed and that proper ly carried out it will prove not only beneficial to the department, but will add materially to the dignity of this country in the eyes of diplomatic rep resentatives of foreign countries which have dealings with that execu tive branch of our government. It is to be hoped that Secretary Gresham will succeed in discovering all of the useless toadies and peremptorily dis pensing with their services. The am bassadors, envoys extraordinary, min isters plenipotentiary and consul gen erals of the various nations of the earth obtain a false impression con cerning the official dignity of this country by calling upon the depart ment of state in a business capacity in our national capital; and yet that is the only department ordinarily with which they have any business transac tions. If they were to go to the de partment of justice, the treasury de partment, the post office department, the interior department or the agri cultural department, they would meet with a different class of representative American citizens. In the state de partment, however, they come in con tact with a class of officials who are dude-like in every attitude and in every utterance. These officials in every way imitate, so far as they can, the nobility of England. Inasmuch as they have erroneous impressions con cerning the lordlings of the British empire, as a general thing they are more likely to be aping the manners of THE MAS! TO DO THE WEEDING. the footmen and butlers of the noble men than the noblemen themselves. After the lapse of fully fifty years the house-cleaning process’ in the de partment of state is about to take place. Heretofore it has been regarded as good policy to retain in that par ticular department all employes, and consequently there has grown up in this city within the sunset shadow of the dome of the capitol an aristocracy which is as false to the traditions of the country as it is degrading to- the common and plain people of our nation. Political changes in the executive head ship of the government have heretofore made no difference in the office holding class of the department of state. The men who have received appointments in that particular department have been regarded especially fortunate because their places have been regarded as life positions Rotation in office is a very i t althy thing for any republic or for iny oo lion, ami there is no good reason why this process should not he applied to the department of state as well as to the other branches of the government. The old department is peopled with ghostly traditions, the cobwebs have accumulated and the barnacles have sprouted and the mill-dews have gath ered until they remind one rather of an old baronial castle of the feudal ages than of anything else. It is lime that the weeding-out process were undertaken, and Gen. Gresham is the man to do the work. Ex-Postmaster General Frank Hat ton, who was a member of the cabinet of President Arthur when Gen. Gresh am was secretary of the treasury, vary tersely and fitly describes the condi tion of -the department in his charac teristic way. He says: “To the gen eral public, or to such persons as by hapless necessity have been compelled to seek admission within its portals, and condescendingly permitted to do business with the janitors, it has al ways worn the aspect of solemn and impenetrable mystery. There arc ex ceptions to every rule, of course, how ever, and there have been assistant secretaries and clerks at this depart ment who recognize their visitors as at least the semblances of humanity, having some sympathetic claim upon SOMEBODY WANTS SOMETHING. official attention, but it goes without saying that the atmosphere of the place is frigid and repellant; that there, is a musty smell through all the cor ridors and passageways which does not come from the Potomac flats; that the toploftical airs which it generally as sumes in stooping to communicate with common people are the airs of antiquated and artistic tradition, and that the interminable red tape in which its transaction of affairs is tied up is a nuisance that should be uncere moniously abated.” A few years ago when a man named Lee was chief clerk of the department of state, your correspondent as the special representative of Senator Plumb, of Kansas, called upon that official for a public document to send to one of tho constituents of the, sena tor. When I entered the room the chief clerk did not look up, as the chief clerk of any other department would have done, but kept on reading apaj-er which he held in his hand. I stood at the railing in front of his desk for fully two minutes, and that is a long tine for n free American citizen to stand waiting the pleasure of one of his serv ants, and then addressed the chief clerk, requesting him to give me the public document for which I had come. He did not lift his eyes from the paper before him, but touched the button of an electric bell with his finger, I waited another minute and again re quested him to give mo the public doc ument. He did not recognize me nor lift his eyes from his paper, nor pay any more attention to me than if I l ad been a serf or slave. Just as a string of indignant sentences were coming to my lips a messenger entered the door and stood in front of the desk of the chief clerk. lie continued his reading, and, quietly and in a languid manner, said to the messenger; “Somebody wants something.” The messenger came to mo and asked if he could do anything for me, and when I mentioned the public docu ment which I desired, he returned to the chief clerk and said: “The gentle man desires so-and-so.” The chief clerk merely nodded his head and kept on reading, the messenger disappeared and returned inside of five minutes with the document and handed it to me. After having been in that room for fully ten minutes I departed with out having received any sign of recognition from the chief clerk other than the touching of an electric button with his dainty finger and the utter ance to his messenger; “Somebody wants something.” That is a sample of the official digni ty and courtesy of the department of state, and the experience of your cor respondent is in no sense different from that which comes to any and every American citizen who is obliged to do business of any kind before the department. Now is the time to turn the rascals out and Gen. Gresham is just the right man in the right place to perform that work. Smith D. Fry. Tough Underpinning. Minks—Lame again, I see? Winks—Yes, my feet are very tender, and shoes always hurt. Slinks—Mine are tough—tough as | pine-knots. Why, I can even woai ; shoes that arc made to measure.—N. 1 Y. Weekly. “FEARHESS IN ALL THINGS." BAY ST. LOUIS, MISS., SATURDAY, JUNE 3, 1893. INVALID’S BED APRON. A Veritable Blessing and Delight to Sick Women, Pattern of One Made of Cashmere and Lined with Sateen—Other Econom ical Materials That May Bo Employed. The design for a bed apron herewith illustrated is a blessing and a delight to invalids who. by being propped up in bed, arc able to crochet, knit or sew. As represented, it is of cashmere lined with sateen. Two yards and a third of forty-inch goods is an ample pattern for a large apron. It is oblong in shape, forty-eight inches long and forty wide. In the middle of one end is cut a large neck-opening, the edge of which is gathered slightly to a straight band; the sketch shows plainly how the neck-frill is added to the upper edge of the band, and how the latter is buttoned at one side of the neck. Full sleeves are gathered into the large oval arm-holes. At the right a handy breast-pocket is inserted between the outside and the lining; a small puff-pocket, with mouth closely drawn up by an elastic shirr, is conveniently placed at the left for the safe-keeping of the spool or ball when crocheting or knitting; and two large work-pockcts are placed just where they will fall handily on the bed, one at each side of the wearer. Such a garment, besides being con venient and becoming, is very warm and is a complete protection to the gown and the bedding. With a little assistance it can be donned without raising the head or shoulders; but when one can rise the ends may bo buttoned together at the back, when it is as neat in appearance as a fitted bed-gown. Apron and work may be removed to gether in a moment’s time, and be laid aside all ready for use again when wanted. Lovely aprons are made of wash silk with wash lace frills and rib bon bows; also of inexpensive but pret tily figured cotton goods made double, or, when extra warmth is required, canton flannel is sometimes used for lining.—Frances H. Perry, in Youth’s Companion. “HE WAS STRUCK BY THE CHILD't PECULIAR HEAD.” —Life. Huddle's Great Scheme. Bowser—What in the deuce is the matter with the elevators in the build ing- this morning? 1 had to walk clear up here to the tenth floor. Huddle—Keep it dark, but it is sim ply a scheme of the people who rent offices on the three top floors. We have all chipped in and paid the com pany that owns the building to stop running its elevators so as to discour age bill collectors. Great scheme. It is cheaper than paying interest on the money.—Des Moines Argonaut. Outclassed. “Will, you are very cool for a man in love.” "You think so? ‘Well, you ought to sec what an iceberg the girl is I” Chicago Record, WOMAN’S SIGNATURE. Ike Form to Be Adopted for All Business Correspondence. In these days of multitudinous cor respondence the necessity for some way of showing in a woman's signature whether she be maid, wife or widow, whether she be of the married or un married estate, is realized as never be fore. The mystery of the usual feminine signature when it is attached to a busi ness letter leads almost invariably to embarrassment on the part of the an swered. No woman likes to be ad dressed with the Quaker simplicity of “Mary Brown,” whethershe be matron or maid, nor if she be the former docs she wish to be addressed as the latter. In proceeding to some opinion as to the best course to bo adopted the thing which must not be done should first he thoroughly understood. The vulgarity of the titular signature “Mrs. Mary Brown” or “Miss Susan Smith,” affixed after a “yours very truly,” can only be excused by its evi dent intent to be one of the solutions of the problem. This form is one to be avoided. A fashion recommended by common sense, simplicity and good taste is that of placing “Miss” in brackets, a little to the left of the aame, as: Vonrs very truly. IMissl Mahv Smith. Its equivalent for the married wom an is found by writing below her sig nature: “Address Mrs. John Smith,,' as: Vours very truly, Maily Smith. Address Mrs. John Smith. The value of concerted action is un questioned, and the necessity for it ic the accomplishment of any given pur pose quite as evident; therefore, if this problem of identification of signature is ever to be solved, it can only be by united agreement on the part of wom en to adopt for all time some such form as the abovp in their business corre spondence. The growing fashion of giving girl children but one name, as “Helen” or “Katherine,” so that when, if they marry, they may retain, with their new signature, their full maiden nau-i, is part of this subject of identification of signature. “Mollie Irene Brown” is not as euphonious nor as sensible as “Mollie Garfield Brown” or “Nellie Grant Sartoris.” This custom has tho further advantage of securing the wom an’s immediate recognition not only as as her husband’s wife but also as her father’s daughter. Mrs. Brown or Mrs. Sartoris signifies but little, but Mrs. Garfield Brown or Mrs. Grant Sartoris tells its own story.—Ladies’ Homo Journal. WALL PAPER SPLASHERS. Can Be Renewed by a Small Outlay of Time and Skill. Various devices have been adopted by tidy housekeepers to protect tho wall decorations adjoining commodes, washstands, etc., where the splatter ing of water would soon spoil the neatness of tho room. The designs shown here are novel, attractive, easily made and inexpensive. Tho ground work may be of heavy blotting paper or an unglazcd cardboard that is thick and stiff enough to support itself well. Select this of some color which bar- FANCY DESIGN. monizes well with the interior decora tions and furniture. Measure off upon this a series of squares about five inches on a side. Where these lines intersect make per forations in the card. Then take some tissue paper of a lighter shade or a contrasting tint and cut it into long strips or ribbons about four inches wide. At intervals of about live and a half inches gather the width of the strip and fasten it with a loop of bright ribbon drawn through the per forated board. The draping of the tissue may be according to fancy, and knots of ribbon may be added to in crease the effect.— N. Y. Herald. Willing, But Not Anxious. Ministers often times observe curi ous phases of human nature among per : sons soliciting their services in the performance of a marriage ceremony. “Will you take this woman for your wedded wife?” asked Rev. Madison C. Peters of a would-be bridegroom re cently. “Yes, I’ll take her,” remarked the man in a half dejected tone, “but,” he added, with'surprising frankness, “I'd rather it were her sister.”—N. Y. Her ald. Just So. Recorder Smyth—Why did yon blow open the safe? “Because it was locked, of course,’' replied the burglar, with a pitying anile.— Texas Sifting* What She Wanted Them For. Susie’s mother sent her to Warren's the other day for some shoe strings. The little girl tipped the door latch and slowly walked up to the proprie tor. “Mamma sent me down for a pair of shoe strings,” and Susie fingered her pennies nervously as she looked into the dealer’s face. Warren turned to a bunch of strings upon the wall and began to pull a couple out. Then he stopped. “How long does she want them?” Susie looked flustered. "I don’t know, but I think she wants them to keep.”—Boston Transcript. HER FIRST LETTER. —W omank ind. What They Went to See. Maude—l was at the theater last night, but I didn't see the star, Miss Buskin. She was ill, and unable to ap pear. Clara—That was too bad. Without her the play must have been tame enough. Maude—Not at all. Miss Buskin's new Paris gowns were displayed on wire forms, and people said that the play went rather better than usual.—Boston Globe. A Few Drawback!). Aunty—And how does my little pet like going to school? Little Pet —I like it ever so much ’ccpt the readin’, writin’ and ’rithme tic an’ spellin’.—Good News. Safe from Fortune Hunters. Prima—Of one thing lam sure. No man will ever marry me for my for tune. Secunda—No. In your case your face is your fortune.—Judge. He Knew. “Women have no minds," said lordly Jack, “Whatever the world may say:” “I am sure they have," growled Anhur back, “And they change them every day.” —Puck. EVOLUTION OF THE BELL. —Chicago Mail. Johnny's Meals. “Why, Johnny, what_ made you late this morning?” asked the school-teach er of a wee boy in kilts. “Had to cat my supper.” “ ‘Supper’ in tho morning. Johnny? Oh no, you forget; now what’s the first meal you cat every morning?” “Oat-meal!” replies Johnny; “that's what I eats for my supper every morn ing!”—Harper’s Young People. Ills Suspicions Excited. Sir. Billus—Maria, do you know any thing about the habits of the new po liceman on this block? Mrs. Billus—No. How should I? Do you know anything about him? Mr. Billus—All I know is that tho grocery bills are about twice as they used to be. I suspect kirn of be ing a vegetarian.—Chicago Tribune. A Charming Young Woman. Father—No; I have no objection to your marrying. I suppose the young woman is a person of estimable quali ties. Son—Estimable qualities! Why, she has twenty thousand a year.—N. Y. Press. A Uallant Man. Huggins la a very gallant man. The other day he was hanging to a strap in a crowded car when a woman entered. Instantly Huggins bowed and smiled and observed: “W'ill you take my strap, madam?”—J udge- TERMS; 51. 0.0 Per Annum in Advance Willing to Make Amends. Angry Candidate—ln your paper thia.L morning, sir, you say I ‘‘seem to have 1 ? learned a small amount of sense in the last five or six years.” I look upon that as an intentional insult, sir, and I won’t stand it. Editor—All right, sir. We’ll say’ to morrow morning that you don’t seem to have learned a small arrcunt of sense in the last five or six rears. Good morning.—Chicago Tribune. No Cause for Tears. Kind Old Gentleman —What are you crying for, little boy? The Little Hoy — Oh, my! — the parrot got out of the cage and—and —I'll catch it when—lI —get —h —h— homo. 800 l hoo! hoo! Kind Old Gentleman (in disgust)— Catch it when you get home! Well, why don’t you go home and catch it? What are you standing bellowing hero for?—Buck. Ah a General Thing. “Give an instance of the crime called manslaughter,” said the teacher. None of the pupils ventured a re sponse. “If I should point a pistol carelessly or in sport at a fellow-being and it should go off and kill him,” suggested the teacher, “it would be—what?” “Didn’t-know-it-was-loaded!” an swered the class with one voice.— Chicago Tribune. Hud the Tame Already. “I want you to publish these poems in book-form,” said a seedy-lookiag man to a Paternoster row publisher. Publisher— I'll look over them, but I cannot promise to bring them out un less you have a well-known name. Poet—That’s all right. My name is known wherever the English language Is spoken. “Ah, indeed! What your name?” “John Smith.” Overdoing 1 1 Tomlinson—Good-by, Miss Elenora. Miss Elenora—But you’ve already said good-by to me, Mr. Tomlinson. Mr. Tomlinson (who is always ready with some pretty speech)—Have I, really? One can’t do a pleasant thing too often, you know! —Texas Siftings. Sick at the Fish monger’s. Hicks—When I caught this fish ho swallowed the hook. Mrs. Hicks—l will look for it when I cut him open. Hicks—Um! It is quite possible that he may have thrown it up; he was very sick before ho died.—Truth. Changing Ills Opinion. “How do you like your alarm clock?” asked the jeweler. “First rate.” “You didn’t seem pleaod with it at first.” “No. But it’s broken now.”—Wash ington Star. FASHION NOTH, Tramp (with humorous tendencies) —Jerusalem! don’t wo look nobby in our new spring suit? —Texas Siftings. She Knew It. “Why, it’s getting late,” said young Mr. Dollcy, looking at his watch at eleven-thirty p. m. “Didn’t you know?” replied Miss Qaskett. “Why, it began to get late more than an hour ago.”—Judge. At the Wholesale Rate. Customer—What's the price of your tallow candles? Dealer—Five cents apiece; fifty cents a dozen. Customer Well, let me have a twelfth of a dozen.—Chicago Record. A Great Ileal Worse. “What a very disagreeable thing it must be to be disappointed in love,” said Miss Shattuck. “Yes,” replied Mr. Ilenpeck, “but it is infinitely worse to bo disappointed in marriage.”—Judge. Cement for Broken China. China may be mended so strongly that it will never break again in the same place. Make a thick solution of gum arabic and water, and stir in some plaster of paris until the paste is very thick; apply it with a brush to the edges of the broken china and set then carefully together. Tic a string around them and set away for three days. A Change, Anyway. Doctor —Your case is serious. If you don't want to break down you must take a perfect rest. Patient—But I am an employe of a government office! Doctor —Then try hard work for a time. —Chicago Record. The Ctmal Wry. She —I hate you! He—Will you be my wife? She—OK Ueorge! • D-, I're Press. - NO. 21.