CHAS. G. MOREAU, Editor and Pnblliilier.
VOL. 11.
THE STATE DEPARTMENT
It Needs a Heroic and Systematic
House-Cleaning.
Barnacle!) with Long Titles Who Consider
Themselves Better Than Other Ameri
can Citizens—Secretary Gresham's
Commendable Course.
[Special Washington Lcttcr.l
A shade of sadness, a blush of shame
must necessarily mantle the cheek of
every true American citizen who calls
upon the officials of the department of
state to transact public business. It is
a great misfortune and a crying shame
that the department which has con
trol over our foreign affairs is so imita
tive of the alleged dignity in similar
departments of the old world.
Nearly ten years ago your corre
spondent was a government official in
the post office department when Wal
ter Q. Gresham was postmaster gener
al, and at that time it was my good
fortune to become pretty well ac
quainted with the man and his meth
ods of executive administration. On
account of some of his peculiarities of
manner and of diction Gen. Gresham
was a man with whom I could never
become particularly friendly; but for
his high moral and official character,
for his absolute probity and patriotic
determination in every particular,
every one yho comes in contact with
him officially has high admiration.
Consequently I have no word of ful
some flattery to offer concerning the
man, but have no hesitation in utter
ing encomiums upon the character of
the eminent gentleman who is now at
the head of the department of state.
Not for the purpose of turning out
one set of employes merely for the
sake of putting another set in, but to
satisfy himself as to the real efficiency
of the service, Gen. Gresham has de
clared in the inner circle of a few
friends who are near unto him that he
intends to entirely overhaul the de
partment of state by a weeding-out
process which will be advantageously
applied by the infusion of new blood.
There is no doubt that such an infu
sion is greatly needed and that proper
ly carried out it will prove not only
beneficial to the department, but will
add materially to the dignity of this
country in the eyes of diplomatic rep
resentatives of foreign countries
which have dealings with that execu
tive branch of our government. It is
to be hoped that Secretary Gresham
will succeed in discovering all of the
useless toadies and peremptorily dis
pensing with their services. The am
bassadors, envoys extraordinary, min
isters plenipotentiary and consul gen
erals of the various nations of the
earth obtain a false impression con
cerning the official dignity of this
country by calling upon the depart
ment of state in a business capacity in
our national capital; and yet that is
the only department ordinarily with
which they have any business transac
tions. If they were to go to the de
partment of justice, the treasury de
partment, the post office department,
the interior department or the agri
cultural department, they would meet
with a different class of representative
American citizens. In the state de
partment, however, they come in con
tact with a class of officials who are
dude-like in every attitude and in
every utterance. These officials in
every way imitate, so far as they can,
the nobility of England. Inasmuch as
they have erroneous impressions con
cerning the lordlings of the British
empire, as a general thing they are
more likely to be aping the manners of
THE MAS! TO DO THE WEEDING.
the footmen and butlers of the noble
men than the noblemen themselves.
After the lapse of fully fifty years
the house-cleaning process’ in the de
partment of state is about to take
place. Heretofore it has been regarded
as good policy to retain in that par
ticular department all employes, and
consequently there has grown up in
this city within the sunset shadow of
the dome of the capitol an aristocracy
which is as false to the traditions of
the country as it is degrading to- the
common and plain people of our nation.
Political changes in the executive head
ship of the government have heretofore
made no difference in the office holding
class of the department of state. The
men who have received appointments in
that particular department have been
regarded especially fortunate because
their places have been regarded as life
positions Rotation in office is a very
i t althy thing for any republic or for
iny oo lion, ami there is no good reason
why this process should not he applied
to the department of state as well as to
the other branches of the government.
The old department is peopled with
ghostly traditions, the cobwebs have
accumulated and the barnacles have
sprouted and the mill-dews have gath
ered until they remind one rather of an
old baronial castle of the feudal ages
than of anything else. It is lime that the
weeding-out process were undertaken,
and Gen. Gresham is the man to do the
work.
Ex-Postmaster General Frank Hat
ton, who was a member of the cabinet
of President Arthur when Gen. Gresh
am was secretary of the treasury, vary
tersely and fitly describes the condi
tion of -the department in his charac
teristic way. He says: “To the gen
eral public, or to such persons as by
hapless necessity have been compelled
to seek admission within its portals,
and condescendingly permitted to
do business with the janitors, it has al
ways worn the aspect of solemn and
impenetrable mystery. There arc ex
ceptions to every rule, of course, how
ever, and there have been assistant
secretaries and clerks at this depart
ment who recognize their visitors as
at least the semblances of humanity,
having some sympathetic claim upon
SOMEBODY WANTS SOMETHING.
official attention, but it goes without
saying that the atmosphere of the
place is frigid and repellant; that there,
is a musty smell through all the cor
ridors and passageways which does not
come from the Potomac flats; that the
toploftical airs which it generally as
sumes in stooping to communicate
with common people are the airs of
antiquated and artistic tradition, and
that the interminable red tape in
which its transaction of affairs is tied
up is a nuisance that should be uncere
moniously abated.”
A few years ago when a man named
Lee was chief clerk of the department
of state, your correspondent as the
special representative of Senator
Plumb, of Kansas, called upon that
official for a public document to send
to one of tho constituents of the, sena
tor. When I entered the room the
chief clerk did not look up, as the chief
clerk of any other department would
have done, but kept on reading apaj-er
which he held in his hand. I stood at
the railing in front of his desk for fully
two minutes, and that is a long tine
for n free American citizen to stand
waiting the pleasure of one of his serv
ants, and then addressed the chief
clerk, requesting him to give me the
public document for which I had come.
He did not lift his eyes from the paper
before him, but touched the button of
an electric bell with his finger, I
waited another minute and again re
quested him to give mo the public doc
ument. He did not recognize me nor
lift his eyes from his paper, nor pay
any more attention to me than if I l ad
been a serf or slave. Just as a string
of indignant sentences were coming to
my lips a messenger entered the door
and stood in front of the desk of the
chief clerk. lie continued his reading,
and, quietly and in a languid manner,
said to the messenger; “Somebody
wants something.”
The messenger came to mo and asked
if he could do anything for me, and
when I mentioned the public docu
ment which I desired, he returned to
the chief clerk and said: “The gentle
man desires so-and-so.” The chief
clerk merely nodded his head and kept
on reading, the messenger disappeared
and returned inside of five minutes
with the document and handed it to
me. After having been in that room
for fully ten minutes I departed with
out having received any sign of
recognition from the chief clerk other
than the touching of an electric button
with his dainty finger and the utter
ance to his messenger; “Somebody
wants something.”
That is a sample of the official digni
ty and courtesy of the department of
state, and the experience of your cor
respondent is in no sense different
from that which comes to any and
every American citizen who is obliged
to do business of any kind before the
department. Now is the time to turn
the rascals out and Gen. Gresham is
just the right man in the right place
to perform that work.
Smith D. Fry.
Tough Underpinning.
Minks—Lame again, I see?
Winks—Yes, my feet are very tender,
and shoes always hurt.
Slinks—Mine are tough—tough as
| pine-knots. Why, I can even woai
; shoes that arc made to measure.—N.
1 Y. Weekly.
“FEARHESS IN ALL THINGS."
BAY ST. LOUIS, MISS., SATURDAY, JUNE 3, 1893.
INVALID’S BED APRON.
A Veritable Blessing and Delight
to Sick Women,
Pattern of One Made of Cashmere and
Lined with Sateen—Other Econom
ical Materials That May
Bo Employed.
The design for a bed apron herewith
illustrated is a blessing and a delight
to invalids who. by being propped up
in bed, arc able to crochet, knit or
sew. As represented, it is of cashmere
lined with sateen. Two yards and a
third of forty-inch goods is an ample
pattern for a large apron. It is oblong
in shape, forty-eight inches long and
forty wide. In the middle of one end
is cut a large neck-opening, the edge of
which is gathered slightly to a straight
band; the sketch shows plainly how
the neck-frill is added to the upper
edge of the band, and how the latter is
buttoned at one side of the neck. Full
sleeves are gathered into the large oval
arm-holes.
At the right a handy breast-pocket
is inserted between the outside and
the lining; a small puff-pocket, with
mouth closely drawn up by an elastic
shirr, is conveniently placed at the left
for the safe-keeping of the spool or
ball when crocheting or knitting; and
two large work-pockcts are placed just
where they will fall handily on the
bed, one at each side of the wearer.
Such a garment, besides being con
venient and becoming, is very warm
and is a complete protection to the
gown and the bedding. With a little
assistance it can be donned without
raising the head or shoulders; but
when one can rise the ends may bo
buttoned together at the back, when
it is as neat in appearance as a fitted
bed-gown.
Apron and work may be removed to
gether in a moment’s time, and be laid
aside all ready for use again when
wanted. Lovely aprons are made of
wash silk with wash lace frills and rib
bon bows; also of inexpensive but pret
tily figured cotton goods made double,
or, when extra warmth is required,
canton flannel is sometimes used for
lining.—Frances H. Perry, in Youth’s
Companion.
“HE WAS STRUCK BY THE CHILD't
PECULIAR HEAD.”
—Life.
Huddle's Great Scheme.
Bowser—What in the deuce is the
matter with the elevators in the build
ing- this morning? 1 had to walk clear
up here to the tenth floor.
Huddle—Keep it dark, but it is sim
ply a scheme of the people who rent
offices on the three top floors. We
have all chipped in and paid the com
pany that owns the building to stop
running its elevators so as to discour
age bill collectors. Great scheme. It
is cheaper than paying interest on the
money.—Des Moines Argonaut.
Outclassed.
“Will, you are very cool for a man in
love.”
"You think so? ‘Well, you ought to
sec what an iceberg the girl is I”
Chicago Record,
WOMAN’S SIGNATURE.
Ike Form to Be Adopted for All Business
Correspondence.
In these days of multitudinous cor
respondence the necessity for some
way of showing in a woman's signature
whether she be maid, wife or widow,
whether she be of the married or un
married estate, is realized as never be
fore.
The mystery of the usual feminine
signature when it is attached to a busi
ness letter leads almost invariably to
embarrassment on the part of the an
swered. No woman likes to be ad
dressed with the Quaker simplicity of
“Mary Brown,” whethershe be matron
or maid, nor if she be the former docs
she wish to be addressed as the latter.
In proceeding to some opinion as to
the best course to bo adopted the
thing which must not be done should
first he thoroughly understood. The
vulgarity of the titular signature
“Mrs. Mary Brown” or “Miss Susan
Smith,” affixed after a “yours very
truly,” can only be excused by its evi
dent intent to be one of the solutions
of the problem. This form is one to
be avoided. A fashion recommended
by common sense, simplicity and good
taste is that of placing “Miss” in
brackets, a little to the left of the
aame, as:
Vonrs very truly.
IMissl Mahv Smith.
Its equivalent for the married wom
an is found by writing below her sig
nature: “Address Mrs. John Smith,,'
as:
Vours very truly,
Maily Smith.
Address Mrs. John Smith.
The value of concerted action is un
questioned, and the necessity for it ic
the accomplishment of any given pur
pose quite as evident; therefore, if this
problem of identification of signature
is ever to be solved, it can only be by
united agreement on the part of wom
en to adopt for all time some such form
as the abovp in their business corre
spondence.
The growing fashion of giving girl
children but one name, as “Helen” or
“Katherine,” so that when, if they
marry, they may retain, with their
new signature, their full maiden nau-i,
is part of this subject of identification
of signature. “Mollie Irene Brown”
is not as euphonious nor as sensible as
“Mollie Garfield Brown” or “Nellie
Grant Sartoris.” This custom has tho
further advantage of securing the wom
an’s immediate recognition not only as
as her husband’s wife but also as her
father’s daughter. Mrs. Brown or Mrs.
Sartoris signifies but little, but Mrs.
Garfield Brown or Mrs. Grant Sartoris
tells its own story.—Ladies’ Homo
Journal.
WALL PAPER SPLASHERS.
Can Be Renewed by a Small Outlay of
Time and Skill.
Various devices have been adopted
by tidy housekeepers to protect tho
wall decorations adjoining commodes,
washstands, etc., where the splatter
ing of water would soon spoil the
neatness of tho room. The designs
shown here are novel, attractive, easily
made and inexpensive. Tho ground
work may be of heavy blotting paper
or an unglazcd cardboard that is thick
and stiff enough to support itself well.
Select this of some color which bar-
FANCY DESIGN.
monizes well with the interior decora
tions and furniture.
Measure off upon this a series of
squares about five inches on a side.
Where these lines intersect make per
forations in the card. Then take some
tissue paper of a lighter shade or a
contrasting tint and cut it into long
strips or ribbons about four inches
wide. At intervals of about live and a
half inches gather the width of the
strip and fasten it with a loop of
bright ribbon drawn through the per
forated board. The draping of the
tissue may be according to fancy, and
knots of ribbon may be added to in
crease the effect.— N. Y. Herald.
Willing, But Not Anxious.
Ministers often times observe curi
ous phases of human nature among per
: sons soliciting their services in the
performance of a marriage ceremony.
“Will you take this woman for your
wedded wife?” asked Rev. Madison C.
Peters of a would-be bridegroom re
cently.
“Yes, I’ll take her,” remarked the
man in a half dejected tone, “but,” he
added, with'surprising frankness, “I'd
rather it were her sister.”—N. Y. Her
ald.
Just So.
Recorder Smyth—Why did yon blow
open the safe?
“Because it was locked, of course,’'
replied the burglar, with a pitying
anile.— Texas Sifting*
What She Wanted Them For.
Susie’s mother sent her to Warren's
the other day for some shoe strings.
The little girl tipped the door latch
and slowly walked up to the proprie
tor.
“Mamma sent me down for a pair of
shoe strings,” and Susie fingered her
pennies nervously as she looked into
the dealer’s face. Warren turned to a
bunch of strings upon the wall and
began to pull a couple out. Then he
stopped.
“How long does she want them?”
Susie looked flustered. "I don’t
know, but I think she wants them to
keep.”—Boston Transcript.
HER FIRST LETTER.
—W omank ind.
What They Went to See.
Maude—l was at the theater last
night, but I didn't see the star, Miss
Buskin. She was ill, and unable to ap
pear.
Clara—That was too bad. Without
her the play must have been tame
enough.
Maude—Not at all. Miss Buskin's new
Paris gowns were displayed on wire
forms, and people said that the play
went rather better than usual.—Boston
Globe.
A Few Drawback!).
Aunty—And how does my little pet
like going to school?
Little Pet —I like it ever so much
’ccpt the readin’, writin’ and ’rithme
tic an’ spellin’.—Good News.
Safe from Fortune Hunters.
Prima—Of one thing lam sure. No
man will ever marry me for my for
tune.
Secunda—No. In your case your
face is your fortune.—Judge.
He Knew.
“Women have no minds," said lordly Jack,
“Whatever the world may say:”
“I am sure they have," growled Anhur back,
“And they change them every day.”
—Puck.
EVOLUTION OF THE BELL.
—Chicago Mail.
Johnny's Meals.
“Why, Johnny, what_ made you late
this morning?” asked the school-teach
er of a wee boy in kilts.
“Had to cat my supper.”
“ ‘Supper’ in tho morning. Johnny?
Oh no, you forget; now what’s the first
meal you cat every morning?”
“Oat-meal!” replies Johnny; “that's
what I eats for my supper every morn
ing!”—Harper’s Young People.
Ills Suspicions Excited.
Sir. Billus—Maria, do you know any
thing about the habits of the new po
liceman on this block?
Mrs. Billus—No. How should I? Do
you know anything about him?
Mr. Billus—All I know is that tho
grocery bills are about twice as
they used to be. I suspect kirn of be
ing a vegetarian.—Chicago Tribune.
A Charming Young Woman.
Father—No; I have no objection to
your marrying. I suppose the young
woman is a person of estimable quali
ties.
Son—Estimable qualities! Why, she
has twenty thousand a year.—N. Y.
Press.
A Uallant Man.
Huggins la a very gallant man. The
other day he was hanging to a strap in
a crowded car when a woman entered.
Instantly Huggins bowed and smiled
and observed: “W'ill you take my strap,
madam?”—J udge-
TERMS; 51. 0.0 Per Annum in Advance
Willing to Make Amends.
Angry Candidate—ln your paper thia.L
morning, sir, you say I ‘‘seem to have 1 ?
learned a small amount of sense in the
last five or six years.” I look upon
that as an intentional insult, sir, and
I won’t stand it.
Editor—All right, sir. We’ll say’ to
morrow morning that you don’t seem
to have learned a small arrcunt of
sense in the last five or six rears.
Good morning.—Chicago Tribune.
No Cause for Tears.
Kind Old Gentleman —What are you
crying for, little boy?
The Little Hoy — Oh, my! — the parrot
got out of the cage and—and —I'll catch
it when—lI —get —h —h— homo. 800 l
hoo! hoo!
Kind Old Gentleman (in disgust)—
Catch it when you get home! Well,
why don’t you go home and catch it?
What are you standing bellowing hero
for?—Buck.
Ah a General Thing.
“Give an instance of the crime called
manslaughter,” said the teacher.
None of the pupils ventured a re
sponse.
“If I should point a pistol carelessly
or in sport at a fellow-being and it
should go off and kill him,” suggested
the teacher, “it would be—what?”
“Didn’t-know-it-was-loaded!” an
swered the class with one voice.—
Chicago Tribune.
Hud the Tame Already.
“I want you to publish these poems
in book-form,” said a seedy-lookiag
man to a Paternoster row publisher.
Publisher— I'll look over them, but I
cannot promise to bring them out un
less you have a well-known name.
Poet—That’s all right. My name is
known wherever the English language
Is spoken.
“Ah, indeed! What your name?”
“John Smith.”
Overdoing 1 1
Tomlinson—Good-by, Miss Elenora.
Miss Elenora—But you’ve already
said good-by to me, Mr. Tomlinson.
Mr. Tomlinson (who is always ready
with some pretty speech)—Have I,
really? One can’t do a pleasant thing
too often, you know! —Texas Siftings.
Sick at the Fish monger’s.
Hicks—When I caught this fish ho
swallowed the hook.
Mrs. Hicks—l will look for it when I
cut him open.
Hicks—Um! It is quite possible that
he may have thrown it up; he was very
sick before ho died.—Truth.
Changing Ills Opinion.
“How do you like your alarm clock?”
asked the jeweler.
“First rate.”
“You didn’t seem pleaod with it at
first.”
“No. But it’s broken now.”—Wash
ington Star.
FASHION NOTH,
Tramp (with humorous tendencies)
—Jerusalem! don’t wo look nobby in
our new spring suit? —Texas Siftings.
She Knew It.
“Why, it’s getting late,” said young
Mr. Dollcy, looking at his watch at
eleven-thirty p. m.
“Didn’t you know?” replied Miss
Qaskett. “Why, it began to get late
more than an hour ago.”—Judge.
At the Wholesale Rate.
Customer—What's the price of your
tallow candles?
Dealer—Five cents apiece; fifty cents
a dozen.
Customer Well, let me have a
twelfth of a dozen.—Chicago Record.
A Great Ileal Worse.
“What a very disagreeable thing it
must be to be disappointed in love,”
said Miss Shattuck.
“Yes,” replied Mr. Ilenpeck, “but it
is infinitely worse to bo disappointed
in marriage.”—Judge.
Cement for Broken China.
China may be mended so strongly
that it will never break again in the
same place. Make a thick solution of
gum arabic and water, and stir in some
plaster of paris until the paste is very
thick; apply it with a brush to the
edges of the broken china and set then
carefully together. Tic a string around
them and set away for three days.
A Change, Anyway.
Doctor —Your case is serious. If you
don't want to break down you must
take a perfect rest.
Patient—But I am an employe of a
government office!
Doctor —Then try hard work for a
time. —Chicago Record.
The Ctmal Wry.
She —I hate you!
He—Will you be my wife?
She—OK Ueorge! • D-, I're
Press. -
NO. 21.