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®be Sea Const Ceha.
O u Published every Saturday at Bay St. Louis, Miss. An lowa paper has Already nomin ated Cleveland for President in I'JOO. Postmaster-General Wilson said in bis last annual report that rural free delivery is as yet an experiment, the results being incomplete and its sue cess not assured. With reference to Rudyard Kipling W. D, Howells nays: “His is the lustiest voice now lifted in the world —the clearest, the bravest, wdh the fewest false noies iu it." Sir Frederickßramwcif, of London, thinks that ono of the bciiellls result ing from the use of motor carriages will both.it more attention than ever will have to ho paid io the mainte nance of good roads. -'i'"— ——i— The Denver News says: Colorado has established a record for the largest relative plurality even given to a Presidential candidate aud for (bo largest pluralities ever given to Con grosuntu. The Stale gives about six votes to Bryan nud Bewail for each vole given to McKinley and Upbart. Arkant as justice lias set a hot pace, exclaims the St. Louis Star. Will Howard stole a yoke of oxen at 2 o'clock u. m. Ho was arrested by the police, turned over to a Justice of the Peace, hold to the Grand Jury, indict ed, tried in the Circuit Court, con victed, and by 11.20 o’clock a. m, was wearing stripes behind the bars of the State penitentiary. Eats have for years boon a pest in I’uris, but never more bo than now. They teem everywhere, and are aaid to issue iu thousands from tho drains, districts they scour tho streets affording tino sport to the policcmcnMfbo spit thorn on sword bayonets. liliou of old Louses and stables TsltUP posed to bo tho cause of tho sudden" increase iu tho visible supply of the rodents. Tree owners have some rights in the trees, even against corporations which string wires, announces tho Now York Post. It might bo supposed that all interested people know this fact, wore it not that tho employes of telegraph, telephone and trolley companies so of ten hack and mutilate treui without so much as asking permission, and without incurring any penalty there for. One tree owner in Pennsylvania refused to suffer iu silence, nud suc ceeded iu having indicted upon a gang of depredators a lino of SSO each. That was no compensation for the damage done, and even to inflict that penalty cost much effort and tho fol lowing of the case from a lower court to the Superior Court, where tho ap peal of tho tree hewers that the de struction of tho trees was necessary to the operation of tho telegraph lino was overruled. Iu discussing the al leged need of more legislation on this subject tho Philadelphia Press makes the interesting suggestion that indi vidual proprietorship in trees extend to the trees upon abutting streets. The idea is a good one, as the trees thus situated are most liable to abuse from tho stringers of wires. The Atlanta Journal says : “It was predicted that illicit distilling would decrease as tho mountainous regions in which it is most prevalent became more thickly settled and were opened up by railroads. Tho last report o! the Commissioner of Internal Revenue shows that this prediction has not been verified. On tho contrary illicit distilling has increased steadily during the last twelve years. The Govern ment’s methods of detection have boon impioved and tho difficulty of finding a safe hiding place for an illicit distil lery has increased, but the determina tion of tho moonshiner to pursue his dark trade grows stronger as the toils gather'about him. During tho last fiscal year 1903 illicit distilleries wore sented and destroyed by tho Govern ment. This was the greatest number ever found in one year and more than twice as many as wore discovered in 1903 or nay year before that. Though tho revenue officers did more work in arresting moonshiners and breaking up their business during tho last fiscal year than ever before in twelve months, not one of them wore killed and only three wounded, a record which hac only been equalled ouoo in twelve years. Wo regret to say that Georgia leads tho list of States in the moonshine liqnor business. Of the 1905 illicit distilleries captured last year, 557 were found in Georgii and the Ninth Congressional District alone furnished 130, North Carolina, where illicit distilling was formerly more common than in this Slate, is now surpassed by Georgia, and shows up in tho Commissioner’s report with only 453 illicit distilleries captured during tho year. Only eighty are re ported for Kentucky, Tho hard times have had some effect in increasing illicit distilling but, with tbs cer tainty of capture and punishment be fore ha has been able to get much ro ll#! by tbit ostbod, it ii piag that tb. moantbluM gun I'Ue Wealth of t.nve, I was os poor as the poorest, dear. And the world— lt passed mo by t But not that day When you walked Love's way! Kor heaven Itself drew nigh— Sweetheart for heaven itself drew nigh. 1 was as lone as the loneliest, levs, With never a dream of biles; Hut nut that day When you walked Love’s way And leaned to bis thankful kies— Sweetheart I And leaned to his thankful kiss. And dear to my life Is your love -your lovo, And my soul has ceased to sigh ; for sorrow seems Hut an echo of dreams, And the stars are In life's sky .Sweetheart! Aud the stars are In life's sky! —V. L. Stanton, In Atlanta CoustiOiliaa, “FROM JIM.” Doll Irving tripped down the gar den path, with its fringes of feathery ferns and pale, sweet-faced violets, Bho was looking ns cool ns if the day were tilled with delicious oa breezes, Scissors in baud, she stood and con templated Urn sweetly-blooming flow er-hods before her, tilled with their uld-fashiuucd favorites; as well ns newer, rarer flowers 1 Another figure flitted up flic garden path —that of a young man, tall, dark, stalwart and handsome. The "dark, dark eyes” lit up when ho aaw Doll, and ho waved hfs hand gaily to her. "Isn’t it warm today?" Riok said this with a profoundly wise look, as if afraid Dell might not yet have discovered the fact. Then ho fanned himself vigorously with his straw hat. “Do you really think so?” with sarcasm. “Why, I was laboring un der the mistaken impression that it is rather cool. I’m glad you came to undeceive mo,” gratefully. “Dou’t ho ridiculous 1” said Riok Anderton, severely. Thou: “Won’t you give mo a flower, Dell?” with an insinuating smile. “Hero is tho'last rose of summer,' ” suid Dell, cutting the “last rose" off stem with a vicious snip of the sciir “lt’s rather faded and old, hut of don’t mind,” iu a tone impossible 'Kttranslato. “No, iiidec<nV r BaT?h^RhA r ingly, while Dell pinned it to the’ ItP pel of his coat. “Of conrso 1 don’t mind if it is a trifle faded.” Ho was looking straight into her eyes its he said if, and n ho was her lover, Doll took a very unfair inter pretation of his remark, “Doll, where did you get that ring?” Rick Audortou took Doll’s snow flake of a bund ou his own great, strong one, and gazed at it, a frown, half playful, half real, in his eyes. “Oh, somewhere I" said Dell, iu a manner as exasperating ns it was vague. “But which ouo do you mean, Riok? This oue? Why, you gave it to me. Don't you remember?” “1 dou’t moan that one,” said Rick, the frown in his eyes growing more ominously dark, tbo playful expres sion entirely gone. “This one, then? Aunt Belle gave it to me on my last birthday. You’ve seen it ever so many-times before,l'm quite sure.” “I dou’t menu that one!” Aud R oVa voice was so harsh aud slcrn and jealous that Dell almost skipped out of her dainty slippers. Bho heaved n reluctant sigh ; there was only one ring left—a dolioately ohased gold ouo—so she supposed she would have to tell him all about it, Bho inennt to teach him a lesson, though,for being so jealous. “This,"she began, with a charming, as well as exasperating air of reluct ance— “er —Jim sent me yesterday. Isn’t it lovely?”gnziug up at him with bewitching blue eyes. Rick made no reply, but hold her hand tightly crushed iu his own, dis pleasure and pain in his eyes. “You hurt me, Riok,” said Dell, plaintively, gently essaying to with draw her hand. She was rather enjoying the scene, but she had no intention of permitting her hand to bo broken to bite. With an Impatient gesture, Rick dropped it. “Who is Jim?” he said, abruptly. “A dear old friend of mine, Riok." with enthusiasm. “I only wish you know Jim. You would bo perfectly delighted.” “I beg leave to differ with you," suid Rick, froezingly. "I would not be delighted with him, for I’m sure he’s a prig and a fool!” Dell looked snubbed. "But isn't tbo ring pretty?” she said, at last, holding it up tantaliziugly. “Andsee what’s engraved on it.” ‘To Darling Del), from Jim." As Rick read, the passionate,jealous pain at his heart became almost unen durable. lie dared not trust himself to speak, so he turned abruptly and strode vapidly down the garden-path. "Dell laughed, though just a little uneasily. “He will coine back tonight,” she thought, “to ask to be forgiven for doubting me, and then how he will laugh when he knows all about ill” But the lovely blue vyea were a trifle clouded for all that when the returned to Hn house ludouwitb flowers, Aunt Rvils twuoad tbf olaa! ud Will! "What U tbe matter with Riok Audortoo, Dell? Ho walked away as if racing for a wager?” “Oh, ho got mad t” said Dell, de lightfully vague, as was her wont, "The mountain and the sqnirf-cl had a qnarrdlr" laughed Aunt Hollo, resuming her book without giving further thought to the matter. Bho was quite accustomed to Kick's and Deli’s little squabbles, and. did not imagine that this was anything more serious than usual. But Riok did not come back that evening, nor the next; and Dell be came distrait and uneasy, and then in dignant. What a fuss Riok made about noth ing, on account of jealousy and ill temper 1 Why couldn’t ho have waited for an explanation, instead of starting off in such a huff?” Well, sho was glad to got rid of him, and hoped it was for good and all. But for all that, Deli did nut feel quite happy. If only Riok woro not so inclined to misjudge her I (Had news! Jim Harper was com ing on a visit, that very afternoon, and Dell wait to ho at the railroad sta tion at two o’clock, with her pony phaeton. Him made huraolf look very bewitch ing in a light summer dregs, with great, golden-hearted pansies at her throat and in her belt. Him was radiantly happy. How nice it would bo to sou dear old Jim again! After all, this world was a very glad world to live in, in spite of the jealous Ricks who tried to make it so un happy. Riok Anderton was at the station, lounging about with a dissatisfied and nut altogether happy look ou his face. As the train swept up, shrieking and puffing, Doll flitted past, him without even a nod of recognition, and gazed delightedly at otto of the car win dows. There wore not many passengers bound for this sleepy village, but among them was one dainty little brunette, who throw herself vaptW"-- ously into Dull’s arms, j Hick slured onishment. Ho had heardpis naughty Dell well knew, that a certain Jim Harper was about to pay a visit to Mrs. Belle Irving,and ho had haunted the station in order to find out what sort of a looking follow this Jim was. Ho found out at last. "Jemima Harper—dear old Jim how delighted I am to see you again)” gushed Doll, rapturously,taking good earo to speak loud enough fur Rick to hear every word. And then she and her old school friend drove away, while Riok Amtor ton stood and stared after them like one dazed. But when ho came to her that even ing, so repentant and humble, what could she do but “forgive and for get. " Rick promised never to be jeal ous again, and bids fair tp keep his word. Doll was a little sorry,however,that she surrendered so soon, for, as her old schoolmate herself declared, “Rick would never have found so ready a pardon from Jim!”—Saturday Night. Cos; of inu Animal . The most costly of wild animals hold in captivity is the elephant. A fine African elephant costs from #O,OOO to 67,000. A fine Indian elephant would cost about #5,000. Giraffes cost about the same ns the best elephants, about 86,000 0r57,000, but that quotation is really only nomi nal; it wunld bo difficult to get a giraffe at any price. This is duo part ly to their increasing scarcity and partly to the difficulty of obtaining them, due to the internal wars of the natives in the giraffe country, Oiroffes very rarely breed in captivity. A lino hippopotamus would prob ably cost about $5,000. A good African lion, with a full and perfect mane, would cost from 91,000 to 91,500; a fine lioness SBOO or SOOO. Good Bengal tigers cost about the same. Camels usually cost from S4OO to SSOO apiece. Many wild animals breed in captiv ity, and the supply of wild animals is now made up to some extent from that source. In Now York's menagerie in Central Park, for example, a largo number of wild animals have been born, some of them of rare kinds and great value. The same is true, in n greater or less degree, of menageries and of zoological gardens in- various parts of the world- It is-customary to sell or exchange tfie surplus ani mals s i burn. Wild animals in captivity may-final ly cease to breed. Wild nnimalsborc in captivity are not so likely to be as line specimens ns Ihoso born in a wild state, and in succeeding generations they degenerate and become weaker and more susceptible to disease. This stock is improved by adding to it, from time to time, wild animals f/om their native homes.—New York /Sun. General Booth has anuoun/od that the Salvation Aimyis to extend its operations over the wliplo Malay ar chipolago. The movement will 't.*o directed from tb? way’* UndquaftcrX in AniUkUs, Seed for Sleep, By far the most important compen sation for all effects of fatigue ia sleep. Everybody, even the man mentally most inert, develops when awake a mass of mental effort which ho cannot afford continuously without suffering. Wo need, therefore, regu larly recurring periods in which tho consumption of mental force shall be slower than the continuous replace ment. The lower the degree to which the activity ot the brain sinks then tho more rapid and more com plete tho recovery. The mental vigor of most men is usually maintained at a certain height for the longest time in tho forenoon. Evidences of fatigue come on later at this time of day than in the evening, when tho store of force in onr brain has boon already, considerably drawn upon by Iho whole day’s work. If no recovery by sleep is enjoyed, or it is imperfect, tho consequences will in variably make themselves evident tho next clay in a depression of mental vigor as well as in a rise in tho per sonal susceptibility to fatigue. Thu rapidity with whichono of tho persons 1 experimented upon could perform his tasks in addition sank about a third after n night’s journey by rail way with iusnttluiont sleep. Another experimenter could delect the effects of keeping himself awake all night ia n gradual decrease of vigor lasting through four days. This observation was all the more surprising because the subject was not conscious of the long duration of the disturbance, nnd wns first ma le aware of it incidentally by Iho results of continued measure ments on the onuses of tho manifesta tions of fatigue,—Popular Boienoo Monthly. Hot liven Wllh the Clerk A country guest at a certain London hotel, having n dread of pickpockets, woufto tho clerk and handed him a twenty-pound note to bo pnt in tho safe. Asking for it next day, ho was thunderstruck whan the functionary to whom he hud given the money cool ly-denied any recollection of Iho mat ter. Whereupon Hie countryman went to a lawyer, “Get another twenty-pound note,” said tho lawyer, “and go,accompanied by a friend, buck to the hotel. Apolo gize to the clerk for your mistake ;say it was a defect of memory; attribute it to abseut-mindedums; deposit Iho second twentf-pound note, in the pres ence of your friend, and come back to me.” Tho mystified ruraiist observed in structions to tho very letter. “Now,” said the lawyer, “go book alone to tbo clerk and ask him fur your twenty-pound note. Knowing that your friend saw him receive it, ho will give you back the second one. Then lake your friend with you next day, approach the clerk.ask him bold ly for that twenty-pound note, and ns there was no witness, to yotir receipt of tho second note ho will he forced to return that also." Tho ruse proved completely success ful, much to tho gratification of tho countryman. —Comic Cuts. A Smart Servant. A lady had issued invitations for a party of twelve, and otj the morning of the appointed day, when conferring with tho footman, she discovered that one of the twelve silver shells in which scalloped oysters were to ho served had been misplaced, Itigid search for tho missing article having proved un availing, the lady decided that sooner than give up that particular course, she would simply decline oysters when they were hauled her, mil so the eleven sLulls would be snflioient. It happened that xvhen the oysters were served at dinner, the hostess was engaged in a very animated conversa tion with one or two of her neighbors, and, forgetting her determination, took one of the shells of oysters and set it before herself. If Iho servant’s heart fell in con sternation at this, he gave no external sign of it, but, speaking in tones dis tinct though low, said respectfully: “Excuse me, madam, but you said I was to remind you that the doctor forbade your eiling oyster*,”—Tit- Bile. _ Takinij Him Down. An amusing story comes from India. It concerns a distinguished officer who was constantly embracing some new hdbby, ranch to the disgust of his brother officers, and to the annoyance of tho soldiers on whom the hobbies frequently involved extra duty. His latest fad was amateur gardening. One day he was si rolling past the officers’ quarters, when he saw a couple of soldiers busily raking n lot of gravel stones over a patch of earth. “Ah, men, I’m glad to see you tak ing an interest ia gardening. It’s* nice occupation.” One of the meu, not knowing him by sight, replied: "Nio", ia it? Umphl That’s all you know. IVe wouldn’t be hiding this earth with gravel if we didn’t have an old fool of a General that’s mad on gardening. Here wo are scraping them stones about in case ho should pass this Way and want to grow cabbage* on tho bit of •nvth uui.lvuatb> '* iWpir'l v 2)oan& ftbl* ' AGE OFJPEED. Onparalleled Swiftness of a New “Electric Express.” People May Soon Travel at the Bate of 120 Miles an Hour. A few years ago any man who talked of “100 miles an Lour” trains was placed in the “crank” class. Locomotive, engineers, even while their iron horses were galloping over the steel roadway with the drivers spinning out a mile a minute, smiled knowingly when “100 mildsan hour" whs mentioned, and said something to the firemen about “dreamers.” Hut engineers have changed their minds lately, all because one of the largest locomotive builders in Iho world bus turned out nn electric locomotive which, hie exports say, cau and will make two miles n minute—l2o miles an hour. When the meu of the throttle learned of this they gasped, hut accepted the statement ns true, end now they arc waiting for the steel* dud comet to out up 120 miles of dis tmeo every sixty minutes. This “electric express” wns built by the Baldwin Locomotive works and the^wcstinghonso Electrical company jointly. It is being tried on the Tur tle creek brunch of the Pennsylvania railroad, and every railroad company in the world his its eye on it. Its builders say that if it is n success, it means “good-by” to the steam loco motive, grade crossings, (irciuen, boiler explosions on railroads and a general rearrangement of block sig nals. The electric locomotive looks more like n baggage car fitted up with a pilot and headlight than it docs like a locomotive, and there is nothing in its outward appearance to in licato the enormous power it is said to possess, The engine is a remarkably sutT speci men of car construction. The frame is made of ten-inch rolled channels, decked with one-half inch rolled steel plates. This method of construction gives grant strength to resi.it blows In collision and the wrenches nnd strains which will bo incident to the high speed for which the engine is intend ed. i’o further increase the stiffness and to add weight to provide the necessary traction the entire framework is cov ered with half-inch steel plates, and cast-iron plates arc bolted to the floor. Two trucks carry the frame, and these trucks have all the easy-riding features of the sleeping-oar (rucks. The tracks are four-wheel, and as they must withstand the heavy strains nnd thrusts from powerful motors they are built entirely different from oar trucks. The trucks are of a swiveling type, so that the electric locomotive can easily make short curves- The motors, which are iron-clad, are carried directly be neath the car-bod, between the two trucks. They arc entirely incased by thin steel shells, so that they are pro tected from dust, water and accidents from flying roadbed ballast. The rotary motion of the motors is communicated to the axles of the trucks by gearing, which permits Iho use of any gear ratio, making the en gine suitable for high speed or slow pulling, nnd this feature gives a possi ble flexibility to the electric locomo tive which its steam brother docs not pc mesa. Instead of a starting-bar or revers ing lever, the electric locomotive has a “controller," of which the visible parts consist of n brass handle, some what similar in appearance to the han dle of a three-way valve, and a half round box about three feet high. NVilh this controller tho “motornoor” starts his electric engine, regulates his speed,reverses and helps the air bruko out in oases of emergency. The pump for compressing air for the air brakes has an elcotrio motor of its own, independent of the other mechanism. This electric-pneumatic combination has one advantage over the conventional automatic air brake, for when tho air is used the current is automatically out off from the propelling motors. In other respects tho system is identi cal with that used on every passenger train in the country. The driving wheels of tho electric locomotive are so arranged that (hoy may be conplcd with parallel rods when Iho haul is heavy, ns snob loads will not permit one pair of wheels to slip without slipping the other. Tho weight of the locomotive is 150,000 pounds, and - it is lhirty-s=ven feet long. The speed shown in tho experi mental runs has demonstrated, it is claimed, that the electric locomotive will bo able to make 120 miles nu boor (“provided a suitable track is laid"). This track will have to be elevated so as to do away with grade crossings, hut it is claimed that the electric engine cau climb grades as well ns n mountain steam mogul,— Chicago Record. U I'llled Ihe Plate, f There is a little on tho West Hide that was opened only a week or o ago, and tU. proprietor bus not yl had lima tq select a name for it, He it a professional gonial, la 'the proprietor, and U ha* bothered hi* p*tTW wanUirablj by *otog around while they were eating and consulting with them about the name for the place. Last night two men dropped in there for a bite. The food woe none too good, and they grumbled quite a bit A* they wore nt the desk paying the check, the proprietor began at them. “Everything satisfactory, gentle* men?" he inquired in hi* blandeat tones. Oh, I guess so,” said the older man ; “I guess so. How much is that check?" “Ninety cents. lam glad you ore pleased. By the way, lamina qnan* dory ox to whnt name I shall give this restaurant. Wlmt would yon sug gest ?” ‘‘Want n name, eh?” soid the older man, "Yes, I do, and I would bo very glad if you would make a suggestion” “I suppose a name for a restaurant ought to be, in a measure, descriptive of Iho place?” said the younger man. “That would be my idea,” replied the proprietor. “Well, then, 1 would suggest that you call it The Paradox.” “The Paradox?"said the proprietor. “Why, that would bo n queer name. How is that name applicable to a restaurant?” “There are quite a number of rea sons, but the one most vividly im pressed on mo this evening is that your milk is sour and your pickles are sweet." —Buffalo Express. “Wee/fops’* of .S'oiip, Five bowls of soup is not 100 much for somo of the poor iitllo girls who are fed gratuitously at somo of the industrial schools on the East and West Hides. When the little boys and girls who bavo been bidden to the feast have satisfied themselves, tbay take what is loft over iu the bowls and empty it into buckets, to bo taken homo to tho starving mothers at home. The mothers are glad to get these buckets of soup, even though it has been collected from a hundred bowls that have been used by the children at school. Tho little girls taka turns in colh cling these heeltaps of soup. Tho privilege is a blessed one to starving families, and the children soon learn, in tho bitter school of poverty, how to make tho most of any uucousidered trifle that may come in their way. It might bo thought that an extra gallon of soup could bo made for tho sake of Iho mother were it not known that Hie supply of soup to equal the demand would bo an impossibility. Tho officials make n great quantity of soups of various kinds. There is bean soup, pea soup, vegetable soup and plain soup, and it is all enjoyed. Tho most popular kind seems to bo beau soup. There aro great quanti ties of this soup consumed, and the children always seem to bo hungry for it. The soup collected in the buckets is ucocsmrily mixed, but tho poor women at home do not mind that. They warm it up, when they hare a fire, and enjoy it nil the more, ptrhnps, because it is'unlike any soup made by the ordinary cook,--New York Journal. Sneezed Ilia Ape Out. One of the most peculiar incidents ever recorded occurred the other day to Charles Doran, a resident of a Cin cinnati suburb, Dorau was nursing a severe cold, ond, meeting a friend at the railway station, ho accepted a proffered pinch of snuff. The mem brane of hie nasal passage was very delicate and sensitive, and he sneezed violently. So severe was tho paroxy ism that tho inferior oblique muscle of the left eye was ruptured, and, a* he eon tinned to sneeze, the exertion forced tho eye completely out of tho socket. A physician suc ceeded iu replacing tbo eye la the socket. Doran said, iu describing the sensa tion, that the pain was not intense when tho eye was forced out. He fell os though something was bursting in his head, but did not realize what had hoppenod until ho saw with his right eye that his left optic was dangling on his check. Tho pain of repairing the injury was much more severe than tho injury itself. . Slruclnm of Coral Reefs. In order to prove, or disprove, the accuracy of tho generally accepted subsidence,or “Darwinian,” theory of coral formations, it has been considered necessary to know more thoroughly -one clement in the construction of three peculiar formations—namely,the thickness of the corni-made rook. With a grant of $1,500 made by tho Royal Society of London, Professor Lollas was commissioned to execute borings in tbo coral reefs of the Fnni-Puti atoll of tbo South Pacific. News has recently boon received that the bor ings Lave proved unsuccessful,a quick sand, by clogging tho borehole, pre venting more than a superficial pene tration into the rook. It is now urged that a second effort be made in the Bermuda islands, where greater facil ities are afforded fur such operations, and where tho general conditions for uueooss appear mush more favorable, ggfci > i in i ItUittUl tbu, a ton of •!<} will anfci 1,500,090 ptet, Love Knows 5o Reason. I Why do I love you, sweetheart mined In sooth, I cannot say, Love came to mo so stealthily I never saw his way. Ills gentle footsteps scarcely presses * The pathway to my heart; i I only saw him standing there And knew ho'd ne’er depart. How can I tell what brought him when 1 know not how he came? I only knew and bowed before Tbo magic of his name. Ho many are more beautiful? Ab, well, perchance 'tig true; Bo many are much better, dear ? Bweet, no one else 1* you. HUMOROUS, He—This tune seems to hunnt me. Hhe—Because you have murdered it so often. Ho—Well, your sister is married. Now il’ your turn. She—Qb, George t Ask pupa. He Do you think absence makes the heart grow fonder? She—l don’t know. Go away for a long time, and I’ll write and let you know, "This liver is awful, Maud.” said Mr. Ncwwed. “I’m very aorrv,” re turned the bride. “I’ll tell the cook to spenklo tbo liveryman about it.” lladbourn—My dear fellow, it is nl ways bettor to begin nt tbp bottom of the ladder, Chcsncy—Nonsense. How about when yon are escaping from u (ire? Browning—Nowinurry's bouse is a largo one,but it w on't bo largo enough for two people. Winters—Nonsense! Who are they? Browning—His wife and Ilia mother. She gazed upon him, kneeling there, And wna alvont to speak, when he, W Itii one mad yell, leaped through the ail He’d run ntnek Into Ids kneul Customer—Whnt is there for din ner today? Waiter (under notice to leave) —Oh,iho same ns usual 1 Tough steaks, leathery fowls, sinewy beef and flavorless mutton, Jackson —I don't believe in reforms. I believe iu leaving well enough alone. Currie—Certainly, but in this country the reformer's object is to keep bad enough from getting worse. Fling—Ami did tbo stage have tho appearance of a real garden in the Garden Scene? Htornis—Ob, yes; I hadn’t been on three minutes before tho place was filled with vegetables. It is talk wasted for an unmarried woman to boast of her economy to an unmarried mao. A man never appre ciates economy iu a woman until ho has married a woman who doesn’t practice it. Physician (traveling out West)— Yes, I have been a practicing physi cian for 35 yeors. Butte Bitters (on thnsiasticnlly) Shake, old man, shake I It’s many a man I’vo sent to his laat accounts, too! Taking Him Down a Peg. Ho was a bright, dapper young lawyer, fall of spirits, and possibly a little too smart. For somo time the judge of tho district court bad been waiting an opportunity to suppress a trifle of this smartness, ns it became a' bore when constantly opposed to his Honor’s long experience. The young lawyer jumped up to defend a cose o I stealing in which tho acodsod had re tained him. Unfortunately ho had failed to thoroughly acquaint himself with tho fads of the case, other than that his client had been arrested fur stealing. "Your Honor,” bo orted, “I ask you does the prisoner look like a man that would steal? Does he look like a man that would suffer bis honesty to be demeaned by appropriating another man’s gold? No! a thousand times No! He is a patriotic citizen of tho country, one of the proud upholders of our grand republic, and I say it is on outrage for tho-plaintiff to accuse such a gentleman of theft. Think of his friends that will weep over his dis grace undeservedly thrust upon him. Think of the blight upon tho man’s existence. I say the accused is too manly, too generous, too noble a specimen of hum—” Smash ! went tho judge’s gaval as he roared out, "Gait that I Young mao, this is a case of bog-stealing I”—Har per's Bound Table. Schools for Cash Girls. Following the lead of Chicago, a Now York dry goods house is about to start a little school iu its own prem ises whore tho cash girls eau obtain instruction one or two hours every day, as also those older ones whoso early schooling has Been neglected. In one of the large dry goods stores of Chicago a day and night school is maintained, with compe tent teachers and all the mod ern accessories of a flrst-clsss school room, where the ouiployes of tho store aro given free education. In Milwau kee one of the greatest breweries con ducts a school,, library and reading Asm for its employes, who are over 10,000 in number. All three were established despite the protests of those who said tne advantages woo'd never bo utilized, atiul sit triumphed from the outsat. The school eom4res favorably with the best public scbjouls in tho city, t(io rending’ room is Well patroaiged, and the library UJeU* to it* jayasUy,—