The Brandon news., July 15, 1909, Image 2

About The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961

Image provided by: Mississippi Department of Archives and History

                
Puckett.
There is some aiekmeso in' our com
munity at present, Mr. Ernest Bum1
hatm being among the number.
Mrs. Liimnie Puckett (hias been quite
elck, but we are glad to be able to
report (her better.
We are having some fine farming
weaitherncw, which i's badly needed.
Quite a number of people from this
place attended childrens: day ait Ma<y
ton last Sunday. They all report a
splendid time.
Mr. and Mrs. C. W. Poflk visited
relatives at Joe last Sunday.
llr. Warren and wife were among
our visitors last Sunday.
Jam GUI, of Jo*e; Ezra Hayes, of
southeast Rankin, ami G. M. Overby
were hone vi>si/ting friends Sunday.
Hugh Polk and Miss Tlhtelma Gill
amadto a visit to Gulfport Saturday
amd Sunday.
Crop prospects itn this community
are mot at all promising. Some place
the estimate at 70 per cent, while
ofthres do not believe that the yield
wiKl be even that much with favora
txie conditions from now on*.
TaJly Mize and P. P. Polk attend
ed the County Union at Greenfield
last week. The next meeting will
he JheM at. Monterey.
W. B. Corley and Son have order
ed a new boiler for <thier mill. It has
arrived and wiill be tine tailed to a few
days. We would be glad to see some
erf our enterprising mill men prepare
far mining wheat, as w'e are sure
that our people can and will raise it
provided they could get it made into
flour.
lYotraoted services at the M. E.
church at this place will begin on the
fourdh Sunday in July at 11 o: clock
a. m. There will be two sendees
daily with dinner on the ground.Rev.
W. A. Hayes, of Meridian, will assist
the pastor in the meeting. Everybod
iB cordially invited to attend these
meetings.
B«n«flo#nt BM«nt
1 is a 'well known foot that bneon
<sot thin, well cooked, brown, crlep
and dry, ©an be taken regularly and
for a long time by thoae who And all
other fats intolerable. This make* it
a valuable article for delicate children
and others wbo are weak and fastid
ious.—Harper's Baiar.
C*l!ant Burglar.
Af'.ftr a lady's boudoir and an*
nexing s«i?vu jewels, the burglar left
a note—u -m but gallant, and gratify*
ing to a degree—before taking his de*
pai a:’e. thousand regrets.” so the
note ran, "for not haring found in this
chamber by far ita most lovely jewel.”
Lawsuit Over a Hen.
A lawsuit about the ownership of
a hen has just been brought to a close
at Hamburg, after a whole year, by
the unexpected death of the bird. The
value of the hen was only 75 cents,
but the law costs have amounted to a
Jargc siim.
K -.
Literature the Last Resort.
People resort to literature exactly
in proportion as they are unable to
make a living any other way. Litera
ture as a symptom of financial despair
has received far too little considera
tion at the hands of economists.—Phil
adelphia Evening Post.
Real I*.vi.
The ira*i withtu depenis not
on geegaws or feathers, not c~. bag
gage or furniture, not on rank or sta
tion, but on large-heartsdness, hones
ty, sincerity. a«.d Ovation pur
pose, breadth of sympathy aM sim
plicity.
Character indispensable.
Talent helps a man to obtain suc
cess, but it is character which se
cures it for him. A man will succeed
with character and very little talent,
and will never succeed without char
acter, whatever talent he may have at
liis disposal.—Max O’Rell.
"Showed” Him Hew.
A Missouri man sent a quarter Rev
«ral hundred miles to find out how
to Rave his sock heels, and the fel
low suggested that he cut out the
heels with a pair of scissors and pu’
Ahem in the top drawer.
A Kansas Blizzard.
A favorite story in western Kansas
-years ago related how steadily the
wind blew; a farmer said that the
wind blew a sheaf of oafs against his
barn door, and kept it there three
days.—Atchison Globe.
Idea cf Gen. Butler.
Red and green side lights for ves
sels were first used on the Hudson
river in 18C2, and they w-ere intro
duced by Gen. Benjamin F. Butler,
v.ho was interested in a factory that
made the lights.
To Prevent Smoke.
Here is a hint on preventing the
•smoke that usually accompanies ad
ding fresh fuel to an open fire or
grate. When adding the new wood
put it at the back, drawing the pieces
already burning to the front to keep
in the heat and prevent smoke.
A Slight Typographical Error.
A New York manager has explained
that what he advertised for was
'•‘thirty chorus girls,” not “thirsty
^chorus girls,’’ and, of course, he got
MADE DRUNK BY MOSQUITOES
8mall Paata, Not tha Wild Animals,
Art tha Raal Troublas of tha
African Hwntsr.
“The African mosquitoes intoxicate
you. They inject so much poison into
you that you are dazed, your eyes roll
and you stagger and speak thickly.
In a word, you’re drunk,” said a mis
sionary.
“In the Nyassa country I’d always
start getting ready for bed and the
mosquitoes an hour before sunset. I’d
set up my mosquito net with the ut
most care. I’d clamp down its edges
with valises and boxes. Vd light insic?e
it three green wpod Area, filling it
with a bitter smoke that all insects
are supposed to loathe.
“Finally I’d get in m^elf. I’d
smoke big pipes of the black native
tobacco, and I'd long miserably in
that hot, smoky atmosphere for the
dawn.
"Despite all my precautions quite
200 or 300 mosquitoes would get In
side my net as soon as darkness fell.
They were like a whirlwind in there.
It couldn’t have been worse. Their
noise and their nipping made me
feverish—made me really delirious at
times.
“At last in exhaustion I’d get a few
hours of troubled slsep, awakening
for breakfast, drunk from the poison
injected by hundreds of tiny needles
into my veins.
"No, it isn’t the elephants or the
giraffes that trouble the African hunt*
er, but the ‘skeeters.’ ”
Hollander* Heavily Taxed.
All told, a Hollander pays about 12
per cent, of hi* vearly Income for
taxes. He Is taxed for his business
Income, for thr interest he collect*,
on his house rent, bis furniture, on
six fireplace* and all the stove* in the
house he rents or owns, on hie horses,
bicycle and acrvaut*. On an incoms
of $2,400 a year he pay* 9298.
‘ ' .v • ~
Use for Scotch Wat*r Power. -
The- growing industry of extracting
aluminum haa stimulated the search
for water-power in the British Isle#,
because the extraction of aluminum
hi so expensive that ouly low-cost
power can be economically employed.
In this respect Scotland, with ita
mountains. Is coming to the front The
water power at the falls of Foyers, hi
Scotland, haa hitherto been the largest
in Great BrRatn; but now a still larger
plant at Klnlochleven, utilising the
rainfall over a tract of 55 square
miles, ie about to be put Into opera
tion for the production of aluminum.
Its nine hydraulic turbines, each of
3,200 brake horsepower, are the largest
; water wheels in the British Isles.
Awful Confession.
“Mother,” said the repentant, ‘Tve
a dreadful thing to confess to you.
Last night, when you told me to lie
down in bed, I lied down, but after
you turned out the gas I grounded my
teeth at you in the dark!”
Jokers Justified.
At last the funny man of the news
paper comic page has been justified
An enraged woman who tried to dam
age a doctor’s residence by throwing
stoaes was arrested for breaking th*
windows cf the adjoining house.
A Glimmer of the Truth.
Asked to write a report ef a lecture
on “Phases of Human Life— Youth,
Manhood and Old Ape,” a young Eng
lish girl produced: “In youth we look
forward to the wicked Ih'ngs we will
do when we giow up—this is the slat*
of innocence. In manhood we do the
wicked thiDgs of which we thought ia
our youth—this is the prime of life
In old age we are sorry for the wicked
things we did in manhood—this is the
time of our dotage.”
Real Aim of Religion.
Religion has loftier aims than the
education of a good man. It presup
poses that he is good already, and its
principal aim is to uplift this good
man to the highest stage of under
standing.—Lessing.
Take :i Cab.
A friend the other day came In be
wailing the ruin done to her pretty
shoes, frock, hat, etc., by a heavy
shower, through having to wait for an
omnibus. “You ought to hars taken a
cab,” I told her. The idea of such
extravagance quite appalled her; yet
more than tbe amount spent woulo
have been saved to her wearing ap
parel. This fallacy of Judgment ia
very common among women, I have
observed.
Table Talk.
A story in which Webster is said
to have figured: The statesman was
once asked by a woman at a dinner
given in his honor, how he varied in
his eating ar.d what he generally ate.
“Madam,” tbe answer ran, “I vary in
eating in this respect; sometimes I
eat more, but never les*.”
The Secret.
She—I don’t see how the freshmen
can keep their little caps on their
heads. He—Vacuum pressure.—Cor
nell Widow.
To Mark a Key.
When there are two or more keys
on the key rln^ of approximate sizs
and api^aranca draw a file over the
stem of the one most in use. This
makes a nick which easily distin
guishes It from the others. The little
dent is better than a string or other
mark, the key being easily recognized
by it (in slipping It through one’s fin
gers) in the dark.
Chant** of tho Sailor Man.
The s^a aa a calling is certainly
not what it once waa by a long way.
The class of men who did well 40
years ago would make a poor show
uow. It was common enough In days
gone by for owners to look for a suit
able man. and then build a ship for
him, but it's the other way uow.—
iiritish Nautical Mag<utr e.
The Young Idea.
"Ma,” said a newspaper man’s son,
“I know why ed.cors call themselves
•we,’” “Why?” ”So’s the man that
doesn’t like the article will think there
are too many people Tor him to
tackle.”—Christian Work and Evan
gelist.
Know When to Stop.
Talking is like playing the harp.
There is as much in laying the hand
on the strings to stop their vibration
as in twanging them to bring out
the music.—Holmes.
Ee~y to Carry.
“Why, I s«^ '■ou ba/c scut little Wll
He for boer t*r an*? that
you have given him t‘.7o Ju:> to ucry.
Why did you do this?” “I did A so
that with one in each hand he could
keep his balance better.”—Meggen
dorfer Blaetter. '
Amor Vincit Omnia.
Mother—“And when he proposed,
did you tell him to see me?” Daugh- 1
ter—“Yes, mamma; and he said he’d'
seen you several times, but he wanted
to marry me Just the same.”—The
Sphinx.
Analysis of Argument.
“Dar Is two kinds of arguments,”
said Uncle Eben, "dem in which you
is tryin' to enlighten somebody an’
dem in which you is tryin’ to fool
somebody.”
In the Sunset of Life.
We all find life is very short, but if
we give the last ten years of-our
lives in solving the innumerable prob
lems that are around us, we - shall
feel the better for it wherever we go
afterward.—Countess . of Warwick.
A Million Visitors a Ysar.
h>4epends nos hall, which was
bought by ths city of Philadelphia
from ths stats for a largs sum, and on
which 9200,00# has ben spent for
restoration, is risked by aa average
of 1,900,000 a ysar.
That's So.
“The time, the place, and the girl
How seldom we see them together.”
“And another rare corrSination is the
man. the scheme, and the coin.”—Il
lustrated Bits.
AM One to Nature.
A waistcoat of broadcloth or of fun
tian is alike to an aching heart, and
we laugh no merrier on reive* cush
ion? than we did on wooden cfoairs.—
J. K. .lerome.
Town Built of Meerschaum.
'I he town of Vallecas, in Spain,
almost entirely built of moerschaura.
Vallecas baa on its outskirts great
quarries* of a meerschaum too coarse
tor pipemaking, and a meerschaum*
l>ul!t town hs the rf—an ivory
white town that shines in the Span
ish sun.
SpoMed Her Sleep Word.
A little girl of four years was heard
repeattiiy murmuring •» long word.
Her father, thinking to please her,
told her the meaning of it. She burst
into tears. At iast. with her mother's
assistance, the father learned the
meaning of her grief. ‘ It was my word
that I put myself to sleep with, ami
now you’ve spoilt it.”—M. Loane in
•*Au Englishman’s Castle.”
Women Animals Slaughterers.
Animal slaughtering is, on the face
of it, a highly unsuitable kind of work
for women, but it is a curious fact
that there are three vtomen employed
in that occupation in England.
Always Some Girl.
No latter ho* * oommonplace a man
- may he *' ere is always some girl who
imagines «im u^que in the history of
the universe.—New York Telegram.
Dog's Long Journey to Old Home.
Nearly a year ago Frank Kennedy
and his family moved to Nebraska
from this county. Their dog, a fox
terrier, evidently did not like the
west and to-day, footsore and almost
starved, it limped into the yard of
its old home.—Canal Dover Csrro
spondence, Pittsburg Dispatch.
Women and Mountaineering.
One of the chief difficulties in a
woman’s undertaking an expedition in
mountain climbing is that, whatever
her experience, every man believes
that he knows better what should be
done than she.—Harper’s Magazine.
India Victims of Tigers.
The ferocity of the tiger can b*
seen from the fact that according to a
recent writer he is mado responsible
for 37 per cent, of the human beings
killed by the wild animals of Hindus
tan. The writer adds that oroe *
tiger has tasted human flesh he is sat
isfied with nothing else, and that in
southern India one of these man-eat
ing tigers has devoured 200 human
beings.
The graduates go us more than one
better: TJhey can swear at the
weather din Greek.
Mr. Patten say® his prophecies as
to wheat came true. His profits also,
are jingling realities.
Cheer up Tennesseans! There may
be great blind tiger hunting in; the
wilds of Lookout mountain.
NEW VERSION OF OLD STORT.
But Its ths Sams Absent-Minded Man
with ths Baby and the
Kerosene Can.
A party of genial spirits were sit
ting talking on the topics of the day
the other evening when the conversa
tion turned to absent-mindedness.
Several Incidents were related, and
finally a man who had been an atten
tive listener broke into the limelight.
“That last story/’ said he, “reminds
me of a friend of mine who was left
at home to care for the baby and
suddenly remembered that he had to
go to the store for kerosene. Taking
the baby on one arm and the kero
sene can on the other, he went to the !
grocery Joint and—”
“I see,” smilingly anticipated one
of the party, “he took the oil home
and forgot the kid."
“No, he didn’t,” responded the;
speaker. “He placed the can on the ■
counter and gently said, ‘sit there a
moment, dear/ and then, holding the 1
baby toward the clerk, added: ‘Fill
this with kerosene, please.’ ”
Makes Waste Places Useful.
Among the advantages of frog farm
ing in France Is the fact that it en
ables persons of limited means to uti
lize marshes and ponds which are too
shallow and warm for fish culture and
practically useless for any other pur
pose, and produce, on a comparatively
small area, a large amount of valuable
food material, for which there is al
ways an eager market.
Fascination of the Bazar.
Women like goods massed together,
and they like to be tempted to buy.
It is a form of dissipation in which al
most all love to indulge, incomprehen
sible though it may be to men. That
is why the bazar never loses its popu
larity.—Lady’s Pictorial London.
By Jovs!
*T must make more friends, don't
you know," said the Englishman.
*‘Touvsee what J mean? Heh? I have
a pretty poor bunch of frlende, upon
my word I have. Among the lot of
them,* when all ie said and done, there
isn’t one that I can borrow more than
$25 from. There lent. Upon my
word!"
Medetene.
The madetone le a stone popularly
supposed to cure hydrophobia. Such
stenee, usually of the else and shape
of an egg, are auperstltlously pre
served in parte of the United States,
because they are believed to absorb
venom. The madetone tm a light, por
ous stone of greenish color. They are
quite rare, being only occasionally
found In the south.
Do a Thing and Don't Talk.
Just do a thing, and don’t talk about
It. This is the great secret of suc
cess in all enterprises. Talk means
discussion; discussion means irrita
tion; irritation means opposition, and
opposition means hindrance always,
whether you are right or wrong.—
Sarah Grand.
Division of Life’s Needs.
When, kneading their dough the
Macedonian housewives sign it with
the sign of the cross before dividing
it into loaves and later the same sign
is made with the knife before cutting
the individual loaf, wdiile t?he crumbs
that fall from the good man’s table
are religiously given to the ever-pres
ent beggara at his gate, tha hungry
little birds.
History of Tuberculosis.
George Frederick Lakilaw of New
York says that we have passed from
the stage in which we tried to kill the
tubercle bacillus into one in which we
try to help fhe Individual, through his
power of resistance, to kill it. This, he
calls vitalism.—Medical Record.
The Shoe for Luck.
The bride or bridegroom must not
pick up the shoe that is thrown when
they are departing. Sometimes in play
it is thrown back at those who hurled
It. The proper person to throw the
shoe is the bride’s father, and it i*
considered very unlucky to pick: up>
the shoe.
Obiter Freak of Natur*.
A picture of a young and beautiful
woman, attired in the latest fashion*,
is the freak of nature that William
Stevenson, living on one of Joseph. J
White’s cranberry bogs, near. Han
over,. N. J., has found in an. ordinary
egg. He is at a loss to account tor
the presence of the picture in the egg.
and all the scientists consulted thus,
far have failed to give any explana
tion.
Work for the Young Marv
There is a place for you. young
man, and there is a work for you to
do. Rouse yourself up and go. after it.
Put your hands cheerfully and proud
ly to honest labor. A Spanish maxim
runs: "He who loseth wealth, loseth
much; he who loseth a friend, loseth
more; but he who loseth his energies,
loseth all.”
Unjust Bargains Condemned.
There is no worse specie* of usury
than an unjust way of making bar
gains, where equity is disregarded on
both sides. All bargains, in which one
party strives to make gain by the loss
of the other, are here condemned.—
Calvin.
Monkey Had Good Memory.
During a performance in a variety
theater at Copenhagen a monkey
named Morits suddenly sprang off the
stage and threw himself into the arms
of a man In the audience. It was dis
covered that the man had been Mor
ns’ master four years before.
The Mills of ths Gods.
They tell uii that ever go slight a
change in the earth’s tipping on its
axis brought the glacial period that
swallowed up all life in the north as
the ice crept down from the pole, inch
by inch, foot by foot. When it right
ed itself again our present day broke,
and the river wore its way through
the rock, draining the mighty glaciers.
So the dawn of a new humanity in
which man, facing toward the ideal of
brotherhood, shall do justice and love
mercy is upon us now. It is good,
when one gets impatient, to remember
that these things are so, that though
the mjils of God grind slowly they
grind exceeding small. — Jacob A.
Riis in The Survey.
Tulips in the Cornfield.
There are more than 20 varieties of
tulips to be found growing wild in the
country about Florence] the earliest of
these, a tall scarlet one with very
handsome flowers, being generally
found among the corn; later on there
is a dainty, small, striped red and
white one and various lovely yellows,
in shades varying from pale lemon to
a deep orange tint, with reflex petals.
—“In a Tuscan Garden.”
Manicuring a Mora*.
A horse’s hoof In really the s«mv
thing as the toe or finder nails of hu
man beings, -or of animals bavin?,
toes. The hoof grows just as a toe
nail does and more rapidly on unshod
horses than on those wearing shoes
Its growth is much faster on horses
that are well groomed and well fed,
upon an average of a third of an inch
a month. The hind boof3 grow faster
than the fore hoofs. The toe of the
hoof being the longest part, it takes
longer for it to grown down there than
at the heel. The new hoof grows out
any cracks or defects in the whole,
grandually working down to where
It can be cut off, just as with human
finger nails.
Guarding Against Earthquakes.
All great crises have stimulated the
creative faculty of mankind, and
earthquake* have, of course, earned a
full share of attention. The most
original notion in tbi* connection was
put forth by a genius who quite satis
fied himself that if house* were pro
vided with wheels or rollers thsy
would move about backward# and for
ward a during an earthquake and e»
nape dtseeter.
■very Teem i* Ceuety "Dry.*
Little Tates has the distinction of
being the only county In the state that
fa absolutely “dry.” Every town in
the county has voted no license. The
village of Penn Yan, the county cap
ital, will use ’’cold tea** as a regular
beverage for the first time In 20 years.
Yates is the smallest ec»”ity in the
state, and the tourist can cross it In
either direction before be gets very
thirsty without exceeding the speed
limit.—Utica IN. Y.) Press.
Bald wit* Apple Honored.
A chit;** seedling that grew up on
s farm near Lowell, Ma^s., about 1740
became the first Baldwin apple tree,
but it wa3 no* until 1784 that Col.
Baldwin became interested in the ap
ple, developed it and gave it his name.
The original tree lived tlii after 1817,
and the place where it grew is now
marked by a monument. The Baldwin
is the only ^pple thus hcnoied.
Daffy Health Hint.
Wounds, of whatever sort, should
be treated by a surgeon, If they be too
serious to be cured by court or ad
hesive plaster. In applying these plas
ters, however, be particular that no
dirt be left in the wound, and also
that the edges be brought into perfect
contact exactly as the parts lay be
fore the accident, or as near to that,
position as possible.
Charact *ris* ics of Js-erviiins.
Servian* in fheir good nature- and
love of Lumor are said to remind trav
elers of the Iriob peasantry. Ttiey are
hospitable to strangers; their patriot
ism is vehement, almost qoixotic, and
they take great interest In politics.
Many of tl e domestic* m the towns
and cities coin* fion* abroad, as the
Servian girl is tro independent fur
domestic service.
Mcrtgag* on a Cat.
A mortgage ou a cat is not often
beard of. However, the oth^r day
there was tiled !»» the recorder’s orfflew
a chattel mortgage the so-jaid'etrativn
of whfeh was $20. The prv»perty on.
which the money was secured was de
scribed as a “cat called John.’”—Co
lumbus Diopetch. „
Pieces Contained in Violin.
A violin contains 69 pieces, made up
In the following way: Back, two
pieces; belly, two; coin* and blocks,
six; sides, five; side linings* 12. bar
one; pur flings, 24; neck one; finger
board, one; nut, one; br’.'ge, one; tail
board, o?i«; button for taliboard, one;
string for tailboard. on«; guard for
string, one; sound post, one; strings,
four; pugs.-four.
Prec.nu*lonB Against Rats.
The owners of grain godowr.s and
warehouses in Calcutta are compelled
by municipal regulation to pave with
concrete to prevent the ingress of
rats, which, it la belie ved, will aid ma
terially in the extermination of this
active distributor of tbo plague germ.
Feminine Intuition.
A young girl has nearly always
more sense of duty and more mental
balance than ha9 a boy of her own
age. Her training and the disposition
of her sex both combine to steadiness
and a ripe view of marriage obliga
tions in the vast majority of casoa.—
Hearth and Home.
Famous Horses.
Tttie horse has been known as
the earliest times. In Greek mythol
ogy horses play a very Important p
part, as everyone knows who has
read the stories of Axion and the
winged horse Pegasus.
The moat famous horse in history
probably was Bucephalus (Bull
Head), who belonged to Alexander
the great. Alexander was the son of
Philip, king of Macedonia.
He was brought before the king, but
no one was able to mount him.
Phillip was angry, and was about to
send the horse away when Alexander
begged to be allowed to try.
He went quickly up to Bucephalus
and stroked him for a few moments
with a steady, careful hand. As
he did so he noticed that the horse
was afraid of his own shadow dan
cing on the grass before him.
Turning the frightened animal with
his face to the sun, the boy leaped
lightly on his back, and using every
means to soothe him, soon1 brought
him under complete control.
When) the boy was about 13 years
of age there was offered for sale to
his father a superb white horse, with
a black mark like a bull’s head on
his forehead. His price was $20,000.
Bucephalus became Alexander’s con
stant companion. The horse was
once taken* prisoner by the barbari
ans against whom Alexander was
fighting, but the concern shown by
the great soldier was so serious that
his favorite was promptly restored to
him.
This famous horse died when he
was thirty years old, from wounds
received on the field of battle. Alex
ander mourned his death as that of a
dear friend and built a city as a
monument to his memory.
Swift and Spurred On were horses
belonging to two Roman emperors.
Their horses were fed on almon© and
raisins, they had ivory mangers and
marble stalls, and one of them drank
wine out of a golden pail. But I
am sure they were too sensible to
like such a life and would have pre
ferred a handful] of fresh grass and
a drink of cold water.
There are many other horses whose
names are known in history. There
was Copenhagen, the Duke of Well
ington’» favorite charger, that car
ried him for ten hours through the
battle of Waterloo. Copenhagen
lived to a peaceful and honored old
age, but he had a fancy for sponge
cake and chocolate creams, and he
died at last from eating too many
sweets. Then there was Roan Bar
bary, Richard IFs favorite, and Ag
ness, who carried Mary, queen of
Scots.
Washington’s big white horse,
whose picture yon have often seen,
was carefully tended and cherished
as long as he lived.
In* art the horse is the emblem ofn
courage and generosity, and a3 we
know him todayu he is not lacking
in* these noble traits.—Friends and
Helpers.
The North Pole still loo-ks good to
Walter Wellman—as far as he goes.
You can’t dodge the question of
good roads. It bobs up serenely
everywhere-.
It would te great If the silver lining
the government sees adorned our
po-ckets.
The lecturing republican senators
should take their party platform and
patch it up.
Don’t believe that Leon Ling has
crossed the water. Only the detect
ives are at sea.
The Wright brothers wHl not at
tempt to discover the North Pole.
Give ’em two more medals.
They have left enough of the tarriff
to give future candidates for high of
fice texts for ttheir du£l sermons.
Kentucky has a few wet spots, but
Editor Watterson’s anxious cry is—
i “-How long, O Lord, how long?”
Mr. Taft alludes to his party’s “po
sitto-a,’* but it doesn't hold any posi
tion long enough for a kodak snap.
Jacksonville says she can find room
for Chattanooga—which will cause
, Louisville, Ky., to heave a deep sigh
! of relief.
President Taft would lose ins pop
ularity in Tennessee if he should ask
the people of that State “What is
whiskey?"
Roosevelt Is not so much in the
newspapers now. They can’t afford to
advertise the dollar-a-word magazine
free of charge.
Only the hard-hit specplators are
trying to persuade Secretary WHsonj
j that it is high time for him to take
a long vacation.
The graduates are not trying to run
the country. They are content to
wear the blue ribon, with a front
! seat on the band wagon.
La this warm weather Bailey’s
Houston angels appear decollete.
They have even unhinged their wings,
and left them in tfhe millinery stores.
In- winter we blamed the thermom
eter for taking a drop too much. In
summer we swat it for making an
[honest effort to rise above Ra lowly
condition. \