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The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, March 01, 1883, Image 1

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Volume i. brookiiaven, miss., Thursday, march i. ihh«. number -i.
JT/if jUroahlimen tender.
(BY B. T. HOBBS*
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THE TWO OI.D BACHELORS,
Two old baehtCoT? were living in one house,
One caught a muffin, the other caught a mouse,
bald he who caught the muffin to him who caught
the mouse:
** This happens Just in time, for we’ve nothing in
tha home.
Save a tiny piece of lemon, and a teaspoonful of
honey; * *■
And what to do for dinner—since wc haven’t any
money; i
And what can we expect, if we haven't any din
ner,
But to lore our teeth and ej clashes and keep on
growing thinner? ”
Said the one who caught the moupe to him *ho
caught the muffin:
*• We might cook the little mouse if wa only Lad
some stuffin’;
If we had but sage and oniou we could do extremely
But how^to get that stuffin’ it is difficult to tell.'’
These two old bachelors ran quickly to the town,
And asked for sage and oniona as they wandered up
and down.
They borrowed two large oniona, but no sage waa to
be found.
In the shops or in the market, or in all the gardens
round.
But some one said: 44 A hill there U a little to it
north.
And to it* perpendicular top a narrow way leads
forth,
And there among V\e rugged rocks abidea an ancient
sage.
An earnest man who reads all day a moat perple xing
page. 1
Climb up and siize him by the toes ; all i*
he sits,
And pull him down and chop him into endless litt.e
bits;
Then mix him with ycur onion, cut up likewise
iuto scraps.
When your stuffin’ will be ready, and very good,—
perhaps/’
Those two old bacbolors, without any loaa of
time,
The nearly perpendicular crag* at one* began to
c imb, /L .
And at ihe top, emong the rocks, all* sejpjd in a
nook.
They saw that Sage treading of a mo* enormous
book.
44 You earnest Sage,” aloud they cried,44 your book
you ve road enough in,
We wish to chop you into bits to make you into
stuffin’.” , ... . .
But that old Sage looked calmly up and with his
awf ul b >ok
At these two batchelors’ bald beads a •udden aim
he took;
And over crag and prec- plce they rolled promis
cuous down,
At one* tin y rolled and never stopped, in lane or
*• field *»r tow n,
And when tho> reached their house they found (be
• side their want of stuffio’)
Ihe mouse had fled and previously had eaten up the
muffin.
They left their home in silence, by the ouee convivi
al door.
And from that hour those bachelors were never ,
heard of more.
■ . ■ . —■
THE l’OT OF GOLD.
Elder Boyd, though ft very good man
in the main, and looked up to with re
spect by all the inhabitant* o! the vil
lage ot Oldville, was rumored to have,
) in Yankee parlance, a pretty sharp look- |
f out for the main chance, a peculiarity
from which ciders are not always ex- 1
ompt.
In worldly matters he was decidedly
well-to-do, having inherited a tine farm
from his father, which was growing
yearly more and more valuable. It
might be supposed that under these
circumstances the elder, who was fully
able to do so, would have found a help
mate to share his house and name.
But the elder was wary. Matrimony
was to him, iu some measure, a matter
of money, and it was his firm resolve
not to marry unless he could thereby
enchance his worldly prosperity. Un
happily, the little village of Oldville and
tbe towns in the immediate vicinity con
tained few wlu) were qualified in the im
portant particular, and of those there
were probably none with whom the el
der’s suit would have prospered. 80 it
happened that year after year passed
away, until Elder Boyd was in the
prime of life—forty-four, or thereabouts
—and still unmarried, anil likely to
remain so. But in all human
calculation of this kind, they reckon ill
who leave widows out
Elder Boyd’s nearest neighbor was a
widow.
The Widow Hayes, who had passed
through matrimonial experience, was
some four years younger than Elder
Boyd. She was still a buxom, comely
woman, as widows are apt to bo.
Unfortunately the late Mr. Hayes had
not been able to leave her sufficient to
make her independent of the world. All
that she possessed was the small, old
fashioned house in which she lived, and
a small atpount of money, which was in
sufficient to support her and a little son
of 6, likewise to be enumerated in the
schedule of Her property, though hardly
to be classed as “productive” of any
thing but mischief.
The widow was therefore obliged to
take care of three boarders to eke ouf
her scanty income, which, of course, im
posed upon her considerable labor and
anxiety.
Is it surprising that under these cir
cumstances she should now and then
have bethought herself of a second mar
riage as a method of oettenug her con
dition? Or again, need we esteem it a
special wonder if, in her reflections
upon this point, she should have east her
eyes upon her next neighbor. Elder
Boyd ? Tbe elder, aa we have already
- said, was in flourishing circumstance*
He would be able to maintain a wife in
great comfort, and, being one of the
chief personages is the village could ac
- cord bar a prominent social poei
———^****^^5
tior. He was not especially handsome,
or calculated to make a profound im
pression upon the female heart; this was
true, but he was of a good disposition,
kind-hearted, and would no doubt make
a very good sort of a husband. Widows
are, I take it (if any sliall do me the.
honor to read this story, I trust they
will forgive the remark),less disposed to
weigh sentiment in a second alliance
than a first, and-so, in the widow’s
point ®f view Elder Boyd was a very
desirable match.
Some sagacious person, however, has
observed that it takes two to make a
match, a fact to tie seriously considered;
for in the present case it was exceed
ingly doubtful whether the worthy
elder, even if ho had known the favora
ble opinion of his next neighbor, woiilJ
have been inclined to propose changing
her name to Boyd, unless, indeed, a
suitable motive was brought to bear
upon him. Here was a chance f >r a lit
tle) managing, wherein widows are said,
as a general tiling, to be expert.
One evening, after a day of fatiguing
labor, Widow Hayes sat at the fire in the
sitting-room,with her feet resting on the
fender.
“ If ever I am situated so as not to
have to work so hard," she murmured,
“I shall be happy. It’s a hard life,
keeping boarders. If I was only as well
off as Elder Boyd.” _
Still the widow kept up her thinking,
and by-and-by her face brightened. She
had an idea which she resolved to put
into execution at the earliest possible
momeuft. h aul h \rrui t/to wm
discover in the sequel,
“ Freddie,” said she to her son the
next morning, “ I want yon to stop <k
Elder Boyd’s when you go to school and
ask him if he will call on me in the j
course of the morning or afternoon,
just as he finds it most convenient”
Elder Boyd was a little surprised at
this summons. However, about 11
h’ciock he called in. The widow had got
on the dinner, aud had leisure to sit
down. Bho appeared a little embar
rassed.
“Freddie told me yon would like to
see me," he commenced.
“Yes, older, I should. But I am
very much afraid you will think strange
at least of what I have to say to you.”
The elder promised very politely not
to be surprised, thsugh at the same time
his curiosity was visibly excited.
“Suppose,’ said tho widow, casting
down her eyes—“mind, I was only sup
posing a case—suppose a person should
Hud a pot of gold pieces in their cellar,
would the law have a right to touch it,
or wonld it belong to them? ” The elder
pricked up his ears.
“ A pot of gold pieces, widow ? Why,
unqnestionably, the law would have
nothing to do with it.”
“And the one who formerly owned
the house couldn't come forward and
claim it, could he, elder? ”
“ No, madam ; unquestionably not.
When the house was disposed of, every
thing went with it, as a matter of
course.”
“ I am glad to hear it, elder. You
wou’t think gtrango of the question, but
it happened to occur in my mind, and I
thought I would like to have it satisfied.”
“Certainly, widow, certainly,” said
the elder abstractedly.
“ And, elder, as you’re here, I hope
yon will stop to dinner with us. It will
bo ready punctually at twclva”
“ Well, no,” said the elder, rising,
“ I’m obliged to ye ; but they'll he ex
pecting me at home.”
“ At any rate, elder,” said the widow,
taking a piece of mince pie fresh from
the oven, “ you won’t object to taking a
piece of mince pie. Yon must know
that I rather pride myself on my mince
pies.” I
The warm pie sent forth sucm a deli
cious odor that the elder naa sorely
tempted, and, after saying; “Well,
really,” with the intention' of refusing,
he finished by saying, “ On'the whole,
I guess I will, as it looks so nice.”
The widow was really a good cook,
and the elder ate with muoh gusto the
generous piece which tha widow cut for
him, and after a little chatting upon
unimportant subjects, withdrew in some
mental perplexity.
Was it possible, thought he, the
widow could really have found a pot of
gold in her cellar ? She did not say so,
to be sure, but why should she have
shown so much anxiety to know as to
the proprietorship of the trensure thus
found, if she had not happened upon
some ? To be sure, so far as his knowl
edge extended, there was no one who
would be likely to lay up such on
amount of gold; but the house was 160
years old, at the very least, and had had
many oocupant* of which he knew noth
ing. It might be after all. The widow’s
earnest desire to have him think it was
only curiosity, likewise gave additional
probability to the supposition. “ I will
wait and watch,” thought the elder.
It so happened that Elder Boyd was
one of the Directors in a savings institu
tion situated in the next town, and ac
cordingly used to ride over tnere once
or twice a month to attend meetings of
the board.
On the next occasion of this kind the
"Widow Hayes sent over to know if he
would carry her with him, as she had a
little business to attend to there. The
request was readily accorded. Arriving
at the village, Mrs. Hayes desired to be
set down at the bank ouilding.
“Ha, ha!" thought the elder, “that
means something.”
He said nothing, however, bat de
termined to come back and find out, as
he could readily from the cashier, what
business she had with the bank. The
widow tripped into the offloe pretending
to look very nonchalant.
“ Can you give me small bills for a
ten-dollsr gold piece ?” she inquired.
“ With pleasure,” was the reply.
“ By the way,” she said, “the bank is
in a very flourishing condition, is it
not?”
“ None iu the Btate on a better foot
ing,” was the prompt response.
“You receive deposits, do you not?”
“ Yes, madam; we receive them every
day."
“Do you receive as high as—aa ten
thonsana-dollars ? ”
“No,” said the cashier, with some
surprise. “A rather, we do not allow
interest on sfiarare a sum. One thous
---1-—
am! dollars is our limit. Did yon know
of any one who—”
"ft is of no consequence,” said tho
widow, lmrriodly ; “ I only asked for cu
riosity. By the way, did yon Bay how
much interest you allowed on snch de
posits as come within your limit?”
“ Five per cent., madam.”
“ Thank yon. I only asked for curi
osity. What a beautiful morning it is,”
and the widow tripped lightly out.
Shortly after the elder entered.
“ How's business, Mr. Cashier ? ” he
inanired.
“About as usual.”
“Had many deposits lately? ”
“ None of any magnitude.”
“ I brought over a woman this morn
ing who seemed to have business with
you.”
“Tlie Widow Hayes?”
“Yes.”
“ Do you know,” asked tho cashier,
“ whether she had any money left her
lately ? ”
“ None that I know of,” said the eld
er, pricking up his ears. “ Why, did
she deposit anv ?”
“ No; hut sfie inquired whether we
received deposits as high as 81<*,000. ”
"Indeed!” ejaculated the elder. “Is
that all she came for?” ho inquired, o
moment afterward,
“ No, she exchanged a gold piece for
hills.”
“ Ha !”/pondered the elder, reflect
ively. “ Did she give any reason for
her inquiries ?”
“No, she said she only asked for curi
osity:'’
JLIie elder left the bank in deep
thought. He camo to the conclusion
that this curiosity only veiled a deepei
motive. Ho now no longer entertained
a doubt that the widow had found a pot
of gold in her cellar, and appearances
seemed to indicate that its probable val
ue was at least equal to 810,000. The
gold piece which she had exchanged at
the bank appeared to confirm this the
ory.
“I rather think,” said the elder to
himself, complacently, “I can see inton
millstone about os far as most people.”
A statement, the literal truth of which 1
defy any one to question, though ns to
the primo fact of people being able to
see into a millstone at all doubts have
now and tlieu thrust themselves upon
my mind.
The next Sunday tlio Widow Hayes
appeared at church in a new and stylish
bonnet, which led to some such remarks
as these:
“ How much vanity some people have,
to lie sure!”
“How a woman that has to keep
boarders for a living can afford to dash
out in such a bonnet is more than I can
tell. I should think she was old enough
to know better.”
This lost remark was made by a young
lady just six months younger than iht
widow, and whose attempts to catch n
second husband hail hitherto proved ut
terly unavailing.
“ I suppose,” continued the same
young lady, “she is trying to catch a
first husband with her finery. Before
I’d condescend to such means, I’d—I’d
drown myself.”
In this last amiable speech the young
lady had unwittingly lnt upon the true
motive. The widow was intent upou
catching Elder Boyd, and she indulged
in a costly bonnet, not because she sup
posed the elder would be caught with
finery, but because this would strength
en in his mind the idea that she liad
stumbled upon hidden wealth. The
widow calculated shrewdly, and the dis
play had the effect she anticipated.
Monday afternoon, the elder found an
errand that called him- over to the
widow’s. It chanced to be just about
tea-time. He was importuned to stay tc
tea, and, somewhat to his own surprise,
tctually did.
The politic widow, who knew the eld
w’s weak point, brought one of her best
minoe pies, a piece of which her guest
partook of with zest.
“ You’ll take another piece, I know,”
said she persuasively.
“ Really, I am ashamed,” said the eld
er ; but he passed his plate. “ The fact
is,” he said apologetically, “your pies
are so nice I don’t know when to stop."
“Do yon call those nice?” said the
widow, moilestly. “I call them com
mon. I can make good mince pies
when I set out to, but this time I didn't.
have as good luck as usual.”
“I shouldn’t want any better,” said
the elder, emphatically.
“Then I hope, if you like them, you
will drop in to tea often. We ought to
be more neighborly, Elder Boyd.”
Elder Boyd assented, and lie meant
what he said. The fact is, the elder
began to think that the widow was a very
charming woman. She was very comely,
and then she was such an excellent
cook. Besides, he had no doubt in his
own mind that she was worth a consid
erable sum of money. What objection
could there be to her becoming Mrs.
Boyd? He brought this question be
fore her one evening. The widow blushed,
professing to be greatly surprised. Iu
fact, she hod never thought of such a
thing in her life, but, ou the whole, she
had always thought highly of the elder,
and, to cut the matter short, she ac
cepted liim. A month afterward she
was installed as mistress of the elder's
large house, somewhat to the surprise
of the village people, who could not con
ceive how she hail brought him over.
Some weeks after the ceremony, the eld
er ventured to inquire about the pot of
gold which ahe had found in the cellar.
“ Pot of gold !” she exclaimed, in sur
prise; “I know of none.”
“But," said the elder, disconcerted,
'' you asked me about whether the law
could claim it.”
“ Oh, Lor’, elder, I only asked for cu
riosity. ’
“And was that tire reason you made
inquiries at tire bank ?”
“ Certainly ! What else could it be ?”
The elder went out to tire born, turd
for half an hour sat in silent meditation.
At the end of that time he ejaculated, |
as a closing consideration :
''After a.l, sire makes good mince
It gives me pleasure to state that the
union between the elder and the wnlo'w
proved a very happy one, although to
the end o* ius life he could uever make
up his mind about the “Pot of Gold.”
Ihe Span own.
The individual w ho in ignorant pursu
ance of a hobby introduce i or helped It
introduce the English cj arrow inti.
America m >y coinfort h mse f with
the idea that le ha t I run-rbt upon his
country an infliction which will cause
liis name to i>e held ii detestation by
every farmer In the land. IVh n thi*
wicked, tyrann'cal, viis;', mi-*ci.:,'Vou>
and destructive blr I was firs' Introduced
J tried in van to inter a warning
through a popti’nr a; r cultural Journal.
Hilt as that would have been going
against tli • lurrc-nt of popular feeling
just then my tigge ti in were sup
pressed. and 1 stead the little p st wa»
praised anil t it ed and-good t»o n'.s at
tribnted to him which he did not and
never did | os-css. while r.ll ids evil
habits were ;g;i re-1, li is almost cer
tain that the i lily fend', e whit h ho was
believed to have i orforti c I was in no
case his work, but the insult of natural
agencies, which atcalwavs o) c alive to
reduce the number of insect | csts when
they, at times, 1 ccome unusually
numerous The sparrow was brought
hereto destroy the in -asurliig worm
which invested the tree ; of the Easlcrr
cities, lie earn ■ and the worms went
And it was supposed the sparrows de
voured them. 'Ihe present year wc
have ha 1 a perfect deluge of worms and
the trees have I ce:i so overwhelmed
with them that llio 'san is have been de
I rived of their leaves. These are tlie
tall web-werms, whch leavo tlioii
webs wlicii fully grown and spread
'everywhere. They devour the leaves
of c ms. 1 TrfJ rs, jv ll'"vs, plums i lier
r'es. ap> ie». V rgiiTa er e, t r .itfld othoi
trees and plants, and they have swarm ;d
over houses and nto ti cm so as to have
I een swert out with t!u br< oin. Hut
nary s arrow touched a worm.
On the contrary, they have been eti
gaged in their natural work, which is
grain eating. They have broken down
tho wheat and rye and devoured tlie
gra n- they bate rocked upon the
shocks, and have torn the gra'n from
the cars: they 1 ave to n open tlie com*
husks and have devoured the m Iky
grain, and now that the corn is in
shock they may be counted by the hun
dreds in the corn-holds still stealing
the gra n. Tiiis is their old trick, and
English farmers have been used to li re
boys with guns and men with nets to
destroy the pests by thousands to save
tiieir crops And wc must soon do the
same tiling.
Legislatures have passed laws pro
tecting the e pests, urged thereto by
persons of the same type as those mis
guided and ignorant ones who have
procured laws by which farmers arc
prevented from selling pure sweet
skimmed milk under any circumstances
in the < it es. to the inlinile loss and det
riment of thousands of poor children
who would find in it a wholesome and
cheap at tide of food. '1 lie farmers
should insist tr on having these laws
ab di-hed. Sparrows are not insect
eat ng birds. They devour the buds of
trees in winter and in summer devour
fruit, grain and seeds. They are, there
fore, out of the 1'ct of useful birds,
I hey are, ho we; er, > er, good eating.
I hey are always plump and fat and arc
as good game as the reed birds. They
are sold in the English, and French '
markets, and are counted a delicacy
when entombed under the crust of a
pie. It would be a piety to turn them
to this use here, and as farmers are un
doubtedly iuititied in saving their crops
from the dcspoilors, they can not only
do this, but secure an agreeable varia
tion from tlie frequent pork and bacon
by shooting or trapping them and hav
ing them served up in pies or rosated
in the oven. - Cor. X. Y. Times.
Country Boy "’>1 City Boys.
A correspondent wants to know why
it is that the proportion of country boys
in the United States who succeed in life
is much greater than that of city t oys,
who seem to have many advantages
over their rural brothers.
There is no way of determining
whether the statement made by our cor
respondent is well founded, though it
undoubtedly accord* with the prevailing
impression. There are abundant rea
sons. however, why the successful men
who were country-bred should even in
cities outnumber the successful men
who were of city birth. "The country,”
as distinguish!* i from the city popula
tion, even now embva tea considerably
more than the majority of the people
in the United Mates, but the dill'erenee
in favor of the country was relatively
much greater as the territory was more
sparsely settled. (Ireat cit.es aic of re
cen: growth >n the l niteil States.
Thirty years ago there were but nine
cities in the Union with a population ol
50,1 00 or upward each. In ISbO there were
but sixteen. In 1SS0 the e were thirty
live. The men who were boys in 1*50
are comparatively young yet, and ihr
cities which have,sine ■ tiris n to magni
tude necessarily drew largely upon the
country for the blood and energy which
have made them what they are. While
it is, therefore, true that a majority of
our success til men were country boys,
it is not necessarily true that the pro
portion is any larger, although this may
be the case.
Respecting the intimation of our cor
respondent that city boys have an ail
vantage over country l oys, we think
that if a balance were* struck it would be
found to be largely in favor of the
country boy. He may not have the
polisli of the city youth, nor be ns web
versed in the wav s of tho bustling city,
but he has characteristics which abun
dantly make up for those deficiencies
He Is taught, for example, a'tuost from
IPs infancy the lesson of self help. His
skill and ingenuity are taxed in a mul
titude of ways. That ipial.ty which
New Knglaud people so happily call
‘‘faculty’’ is developed. The boy' is
indoctrinated with luibita of thrift and
industry. If one thinks for a moment
of the variety of farm work, its will also
be prepart*d to concede that the coun
try boy, awkward though he may scent
in comparison with h s cTy- cousin, lots
many and varied accomplishments. He
is early familiar with the care and mam
ugemciit of horses anil cattle, learn -
much of tools and how to use them, is
often compelled unaided to fact* ami
overcome difficulties and emergencies,
and this breeds within him a sturdy,
resolute spirit. When lie attains man
hood, h's fortune is assured if he re
mains in l!ie country; while if. smitten
with the city fever, he tries his fortunes
there, he has at least a good, solid foun
dation upon which to build.
With city boys there is altogether too
much hot house life. Many of them ore
dwarfed and stunted from their, birth.
They arc coddled and indulged. Too
many of them arc t ronght up with false
notions of what is honorable and man
ly. Their parents are fastidious, with
out being sensible, in the choice </ oc
cupations for them, and they are in con
sequence handicapped through life.
They have, perhaps, a greater variety
of pleasures than country boys: but
(bore are many manly exercises from
which, from numerous causes, most of
them aie debarred. Thus every coun
try boy, almost as a matter of course,
learns to swim, hunt and break a horse;
while the larger the city is the fewer
relatively the number of boys who can
do any or all of the-o things. Tlie.se
may seem insignificant accomplish
ments, yet each involves a physical and
mental training whh h can not fail to be
beneficial in afterlife.
Country boys also possess a marked
advantage over city boys in the lack of
tlie temptations which surround the lat
ter. There is infinitely less danger of
their attaining young manhood with
their mental nnd moral powers under
mined, and with wrong or feeble im
pulses. Living as they do, too, so much
in the open air, they gain a physical
health nnd vigor of constitution which
are not only hk- iirnabW"blessings in
I henv-c.1 ves. Ant'iuTiiiTnrf’b' lit them for
the battle of life. ?
On tl.o whole, there®1*, whether
country boys do or do ni’t succeed in
life better than city boyi- there is no
reason why the former slnxuld repine or
be discontented with their Y°t-—Detroit
Free Press. I
Erg-C tilling.
An odd trade is that of tiie egg-oan
illor. Cue hiving been advertised for a
f* \v days a^o, a Tii‘»nte reporter to
whom the word “enndler” was full
of invite v, took the liberty of calling
moil tiie ad vert her for an explanation.
Tli liter the repor r r went, and in the
shadow of it huge bank of egg-eases on
I ho side walk discovered a t assage-way
lit eled •‘Uniter" tvifclt led into the
ba-eiuent. of tint building designated,
i irering, the rc|ioiter found liirusolf in
:■ stria 1 apartment, whii b may be truth
fully said to be (lie fullest apartment he
ever on.erel. The space occupied by
two young men, and innumerable egg
c.isi-s, was tilled wiili a stench so thick
that the reporter lelt like (lilting oft'a
chunk of it and bearing it away as a
tro liy. Kill as nothing save’ “ lien
fruit*’ was visible, he was constrained
instead to inquire if j oull.y cholera
was prevalent just at present. One of
the young men tumbled off the pile of
eases on which lie was reclining, and
alter rolling over the Ho r with laughter
two or three times, arose and said,
quietly: “No; I guess the hens are
all well." Aftor a few words of ex
planation as to the nature of the call,
the young man kindly consented to
g.ve an exhibition of egg-candling, and
led the way. Going up to a dirty look
ing patch on the wall, he drew aside an
old gray *a; my blanket, d'sc’osing a
lighted interior beyond. He real
ized the elect, for he stopped
long enough on the threshold to
say: “Oh! come in. This ain’t notrap;
it s the candling-room.” The apart
ment was found to be about seven by
three feet, and upon a bench at one
end were three open egg-eases. A
small metallic oil-lamp was attached by
a wooden fixture to the farther end of
the middle box. This furnished the j
only light in the roam. The eandler [
walked up to the bench with a watch- !
me-juggle-them air, and. turning back |
his shirt-sleeves, plunged both bands |
into the middle' box. and suddenly j
brought forth four “chicken-buds.*’ ;
w iin me tiuuun ana iore-nnger or eacn
hand the uppermost eggs were caught i
up and held lor an instant only in front I
of tlie Came. There was a coin utsive |
movement of the hands, and, with all |
the dexterity of a slight-of-hand per
former, the uppermost eggs had given
place to the other two, and were being
more carefully examined belore the
light. “There,” said the candler, do ,
signaling an egg with a clear, transpa- i
rent shell, and a vividly rosy light
showing through it, “that is strictly a 1
fresh egg. I put that in the eight-hand
box, which is intended for the New
York market. This one is not quite so !
fresh, but it will do. This, you see, is !
spotted; that’s where the yelk has fast- !
cned to the shell because the egg laid i
too long in one position. It is not a
bad egg, however, though it may be |
slightly stale, and 1 put it into the left
hand ease, which is intended for the
Chicago market, and is likely to be
speedily sold. There is nothing appar
ently wrong with this fourth egg, save
that its yelk is broken. A hoiisekeepei
might not like it, but it is a good baker’s ;
egg.”
“Why are all the first-class eggs i
ahipped to New York?” inquired the re
porter.
“Simply because they keep longost, ;
and arc longest in finding their way !
into the consumer's hands. An egg ;
which is perfectly good in Chicago to
day might not be good ten days henoe
in New Yo k.”
The candler proceeded with his work
at a truly remarkable rate of speed,
stopping only now and then to point
out the peculiarity of an e g which had '
been kept in too waim, cold, or damp a
place, or bad been subjected to some
sort of preserving process while vet in -
the bauds of the farmer. So deft wa
hc in h:s bus'ne-s that the eggs, as he
shuttled them to and fro, seldom or nev
er touched each other, and as for break
ing one, (hat is something a caudlei
very rarely does Suddenly he paused
over one which plainly showed tho ori- ;
gin of the term “chi ken-hud.”
“ That is a good egg for a restaurant
man,” suggested the reporter.
" Wbvr”
*• Why, ho ian charge spring chicken
prices for it.”
Again the randier went ofTinto a con
vulsion of laughter. It was evident
that though he might know stale old
eggs when he saw them, he did nol
know equally stale old jokes when he
heard them.
This egg found a rest ing-place among
others in a large bucket, and during the
interview the camllcr busied himself in
pb'nting out monstrosities in the eggs
which he had thrown aside as worthless.
Very many of these had really been
laid by hens that were not we'l, and all
sorts of peculiarities were visible in the
“fruit.
The candler’s pay is uniformly ten
cents per ease of thirty-six dozen, and
an adept at the business can make throe
dollars per day easily, and more by
working ovei time.
Several other eandling rooms were
visited, and candlcrs of various degree?
of nrolieicncy were conversed with.
Said one: “Eggs are a good deal like
fruit. A damp, foul atmosphere and
extremes of heal or cold affect them as
quickly and as seriously as fine fruit,
I lie shell of an egg is exceedingly
perils, anil when the place of storage is
too warm and dry the albumen evapor
ates, and when too cold and damp
the egg seems to lose its vitality and
rapidly becomes stale. The porous
shell also admits of absorption, and in
my oi>inii n a single rotten egg. the shell
of which happens to be broken
or cracked, will contaminate whole
dozens of eggs in the same ease. Any
experienced candlcr will, I think, tell
von the same thing. The present
system of egg carriage, which was
designed simply to prevent breakage,
has done a great deal to improve the
market quality of eggs. They do not
come into contact witli each .other, and
after thev are once packed no amount ol
knocking about will addle them.”
“There does not seem to be much ex
cuse then for the grocer who sells bad
eggs among good ones?”
“I here is no excuse at all. If he
rtio^nlaneeT7 (Trice, “j™ °*
some reliable commission man, tiiw™
ean be no excuse. The camller has be
come a necessity to the egg trade, and
if he is a competent’rm n at his business
he ean it*ad an egg as you would a
Look. Candling costs but ten cents a
case of thirty-six dozen: now what ex
cuse ?fiii there be for the merchant who
refuses to have ills eggs candled? He
is dishonest, and means to sell rotten
eggs, and grocers should avoid him as
they would any other swindler.”
Just then an order came in for one
dozen eases for the New York market,
and the camller was obliged to quit talk
ing and go to work.—Chienyo Tribune.
Hough lesson to a Hank Depositor.
A practical lesson was taught to a
bank depositor a few days ago in the
Queen street branch of the Dominion
Hank. It appears be called to de|>osit
about $5,0tK». which he lajd on the
counter, and then turned round to speak
to an acquaintance. On again facing
the counter the money was gone, and
consternation reigned supreme. The
depositor accused a painter, who was at
work near the counter, of abstracting"
the money, and threatened to call in a
Constable if it were not at once given
up. While proceeding to carry out his
threat he happened to look toward the
counter, and to his amazement he saw
the missing package of money lying in
the exact spot where ho had laid it.
One of the bank ollioials explained the
mystery by stating that on entering the
office from a hack room, and seejngthe
money so carelessly displayed, lie picked
it up and carried it away to teach the
depositor a lesson, to he more < areful
in the future, and then quietly returned
it. An a|K»logy was tendered the ac
cused painter, and all unpleasantness
was removed.— Toronto (Cun.) Mail.
—It is the Troy (N. Y.) Times that
tells this fanciful story : “ A North Ad
ams man, n member of the theatrical
orofessiou. is reported to have fallen
heir to $30,000 in rather a romantic
fashion. A pretty young lady, the
daughter of a New York banker, aud
deuly, by marriage in the family, l»e
came the aunt of the actor. She fe l in
love with her relative, hut the relation
ship acted as a hairier to matrimony.
R contly she died of a broken heart and
bequeathed $30,000 to the object of her
affections.”
—A French widow was very indignant
because the railroad compauy did not
pay her any more than they paid the
widow of another man who had also
oeen killed by a railroad train. The
railroad officials said that the two men
came to their death under similar cir
cumstances. “O, that’s all very well as
matter of talk,” said the widow, “but as
a matter of fact my husband was killed
by the lightning express, while her man
was run over by a way freight train.”—
Detroit Free Tress.
—An engine ran away on the Elevated
Railroad the other day, and went whizz
ing by with the train past two or three
stations, when it was cheeked bv the
brakes just before coming into collision !
with a train immediately ahead of it.
Another engineer said such a thing was1
impossible if the engineer understood!
his business, but add if it did occur j
and the brakes did not stop tlie train, it ]
would run into the train ahead of it at J
twenty miles an hour, with consequences ,
which could be imagined.—N. Y. Her
ald.
—Victoi Hugo says Franse, Italy aud
Spain arc destined to be the represeuta- j
tives of civilization. The Turks are to |
he driven out of Europe. The twentieth !
century will see all Africa civilized by
means of the Mediterranean powers, j
including England, owing to her posses-1
sions in Gibraltar. As for the English j
campaign in Egypt, that u “only a
transitory incident, a repugnant episode ,
of modem history.”'
—A Buffalo merchant refuses to ad- !
.’ertke because the papers won’t print,
his “add” iu red ink. The papers are
sometimes obstinate about these things.
—Ik!* oit Free Teem.
rnnfltaral Hsppiness.
‘•There is one of I he happiest men in
the world at the present moment,**
City Physician Jackson -aid as he en
tered, with the reporter, the j av.lion for
the insane of Bellcttie Hos[ ital, and
was most beartly greeted by a new in
mate of the pla-e The parent was a
fine-looking mnn. in line I to stoutness,
with gray hair and beard, and a glow
in li s pleasant face. He was fifty-six
years of age, and the o dv peeuliarity
about h s appearance was that he stag
gered sigbtly whenever he arose from
his seat, fie had boon arrested for
I tilling valuable (lowers from a clergy
man’s garden to make nosegays for his
wi e, and he repeated the offense until
he was sent to the ( ity Phys einn tr
have Ins modal eoiditon examined.
•* I he happiest mail e Herit able,” the
) hysh-ian rej eated, * and yet hopelessly
insane.”
He imagined that ho possessed great
wealth, ami that he could not do any
thing better than spend it in making
presents to every hoi l. he met. He had
lavishly Squande ed money before his ar
rest on worthless articles, and at the
moment he spoke he offered to give
the physician $100 just for eoni'ng to
see him. ima fining that he was a friend
on a vis t. He also turned to the re
porter, with whom ho shook hands as
though he had been acquainted with
him for years. He wound up the very ex
uberant greeting by promis'ng the re
porter a gftld watch t ml a gold collar
button. “Come again and 1 will have
a 1 ttlc reception for you here,” the
patient said as the physician went away.
“ What is his speeiiie trouble?” was
asked.
“Ceneral parcds, iho physician .e
plicil. “It ha/taken tins form of sus
tiued elation, and for two year*'
that ‘man will be the happiest
of mortals! Not!.*ng in rational
existence could approach to the enjoy
ment he w II e perieaca. But it will
all end abruptly in eomplotd meutal
darkneaynnd death. A gradual paraly
sis will attack his system an 1 continue
until brain and limbs are finally he!r>

w.
ti. ¥. Nun.
Tile “Milch-Cow IJacket.
Inuring his wanderings through the
yards yesterday the reporter stumbled
onto another little scheme which it was
thought was exterminated a few months
ago, but while there are “suckers” in
the world scalpers and other not over
scrupulous persons will always do a
“rushing business.” The “milch-cow
racket” !s the term used by those win*
are posted, and front the profits derived
there rum the racket is a prrriitahle one.
Milch coxvs arc always in demand, and
the prices obtained approximate sixty
dollars. When the demand exceeds
the supply the “scalper,” in order to
"accommodate” the customer, goes to
some remote pen and purchases' a cow
called a “stripper”— that is, one whose
days of usefulness as a niilkt-r are over.
A calf a few days old is then purchased
fora few dollars and tied in a pen
al oig with the cow, which is supposed
to be its mother. The customer soon
makes his appearance and a trade is ef
fec cd — the purchaser takes the bogus
cow and calf and the accommodating
“scalper” the sixty dollars. Tito trick
is soon found out. and Iho buyer makes
a strenuous complaint, but,there is no
ivm«*d>, ami lie has to accept the in
evk.fde. The lr ck was practised yes
tc lay, and came to the surface shortly
adei-wards. The buyer on this'occasion
made an unusually strong break, which
was subsequently settled by a eow
I remise.—hiicngo Tribune.
A Characteristic of American Ufe.
In the summer of IU36 a barefooted
boy was on his way to Honeedale, Pa.,
walking the tow-path of tire Delaware
and Hudoon canal. When four miles
from Port Jervis, and still forty miles
from his destination, he was overtaken
by a canal boat. He was asked to jump
aboard the boat and ride, which he did.
On the boat was a Scotch family, just
landed in America, who were on their
way to the Pennsylvania coal fields.
One of its members was a boy the same
age of the young pedestrian, eleven
years. A strong friendship grew up be
tween the two boys by the time they
reached Honesdale. The Scotch family
went on to Carbondale, the center of the
Lackawanna coal field. The boy who
had been given the nde in the boat ob
tained employment on the canal. His
friend, the Scotch boy, worked in the
mines for a short time as mule boy.
Both he and the former barefoot boy
rose in the company’s service. The
Scotch boy of forty-six years ago is
Thomas Dickson, President of the Dela
ware and Hudson Const Company, His
friend, the other boy, is Col. P. Young,
General Manager of the company, and
President of itB Albany and Susquehanna
railroad system.
—In asking the prayers of Ids con
gregation for the Lord Primaie, the
nabbi of the South Manchester (En
gland) synagogue said: •• Thauk
Heaven the pee sent time can boast of
men who may be* sa'.d to adorn the
C’hunh'of England, and. with a man of
inch tolerant principles at the head,
theie is litt’e or no chance of that
grand doctrine, the foundation of a
country’s prosperity—the right of relig
ious equality —over being violated.”

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