®ke grookkaven grader, j - $ke §r**Mut9r« leader.
STANDI NO ADVKRTMRMKVTB.
IMCL il WKjiMIIMI IriS
„ On* Inch.[»T*r»TM »10 001 l» M
* ‘ Two Inches. 5 no II SO 17 M, » »
Three Inches. 7 *0 17 » » M( M 00
Four Inches.. 10 00 11 M M SK MM
Fire Inches. lt«o T7 SW 4» SOj M SO
- -- =r==r=r_____ _ .' Six Inches. H 00 M OP) M OR MM
F*r transient advertieemenM,ten cento a Bi B. T. HOBBS. A. Government in the Interest of the People. $2.00 PER ANNUM. sij,*ule»rp'bll*hed free All over six Hoes
line for til-t insertion: live cents a line for __ _r _ will be charged for at regular advortlstef
each siil>*ci|uciit insertion. — ■ - . -— - -■ _ ..._ ~ - ' , -- — -rates.
i^aiNotuestcneentoaiineforeachinser VOLUME I. BROOK HAVEN, MISSISSIPPI, THURSDAY, MAY 3, 1883. NUMBER 11.
LIKE A JIOI SE.
Men an- like houses. They are flats.
They, too. have hricks— within their hats.
They're mortgaged, hammered, nailed and
lli«>red.
And have room-attics, and their board.
Houses have tenants, and, we guess,
A niHU has tell aunts, more or less.
Itoth hare too stories, empty ijulto.
And each doth take carpenter right.
Houses ami men of ancient dates
Have scanty lock* and broken salts.
Houses on corners stand, with stairs;
Men do the same. Both need repairs.
Houses are lathed with plaster. Men
Arc plastered all with lather when
They shavings have. Ttiey'r • -hiuglcd, too,
rpon their man s hard roof «o true.
A house well huilt will settle some;
A mull well hilled will settle—gnitn.
Scaffolds on houses hang: hut men
Hang on a scaffold oft again.
I'nlike a man a house of wood
Foundation has for stories good.
Both Are insurance need below
For manshtins burning much we know.
—//. V. Dodge, In Detroit Free /Teas.
ACROBATS AND GYMNASTS.
The practice of lofty tumbling with
out 11 net is so manifestly reprehensible
that it needs neither comment nor con
demnation here; but it is a curious fact
that many more accidents are recorded
of ground-tumbling than of aerial gym- i
nasties. A member of the Hanlon-Volt a j
troupe, who has been doing sensational j
business all his life, told me that he i
never met with a mishap but once, and j
that was in descending from a bar only j
bis own height from the stage, when he |
sprained his knee rather severely. And j
it is a significant circumstance, which
cannot be too strongly noted, that the
comparatively few accidents which have
happened to gymnasts have nearly all
occurred through defects in the “life
saving apparatus,” the net. When this
belongs to the performer, it is generally
spread under his own supervision, anil i
the strength of its texture anti fasten
ings carefully tested, and renewed if re
oiiircd; hut where the net is a stock
property of a place of entertainment, or,
worse still, is provided by an entre
preneur who, not a performer himself,
farms the gymnast, nnd undertakes to
find all the appliances, damaged ma
terial and insecure attachments are apt
to he overlooked.
'file descent into the net itself is said
to l>e not altogether devoid of danger,
and an impression is current among
these people that to fall upon the side
of the head will inevitably break the
neck. I am not aware, however, that any
ease has been known- to bear out this
theory. Many gymnasts now dispense
with the rugs or carpets with which the
net is commonly padded, on account of
their interfering with the view of those
seated underneath, and come down upon
t he naked meshes without injury. A
certain “Little Bob”—a tine joung
tiiiiii now—who lias been celebrated for
pre-eminently high dives ever since he
was a very small boy, sometimes mak
ing a headlong perpendicular descent of
eighty feet or so, where the building is
lofty enough to permit of it, says that
lie would have no objection to plunge
from a height twice as great into a net
of proper tension, andthst he has never
suffered any inconvenience from the
transit through the air or arrest of mo
tion. He comes down in a slightly ob
lique direction, with the hands extended
for effect, after the fashion of a diver;
when he sees the net “getting near,”
the arms are withdrawn to the sides and
tile heail is tucked in on the chest, so
that he falls upon the shoulder-blades
and rolls over. In connection with this
part of the subject, the elegant and
wonderful “dives” of Zazacl at the
London Aquarium will doubtless be re
membered by many readers.
Your special commissioner being
taken up to an exceedingly high and
dusty place to see some very ingenious
mechanism recently invented bv a gym
nast, was induced by the enthusiastic
arguments, protestations, and twice
repeated example of that individ- j
ual, to take the direct route to j
the lower regions—in plain words, to
drop from a swinging bar into the cusli
min'd net some Itlty ieet below. rin-|
gers seemed to assume an iron grip, and j
I lie liar to become magnetic, even after j
the trapeze had been brought to a stand
still, and the legs drawn up at right
angles with the body in a sitting pos
ture, as directed. “Now then, go!''
was shouted more than once, before I
could unbend those hands which had
apparently acquired a persistent rigidity
of their own; then the bar and roof with
its beams and girders flew away from
urn, and a tremendous repentance of the
folly I was committing rushed upon
me, with a distinct presentation of
'■very detail of every' story I had heard
of people falling through nets improp
erly fixed or badly mended, and a to
tally independent calculation of the
surgical effect which the legs of the in
verted chairs I had observed piled up
in the area below the apparatus would
produce upon the human frame falling
from a height; the whole accompanied
by a perception that I was gradually,
very gradually, inclining backwards;
which opened a new vista of the proba
bilities of my demonstrating tlie truth
of the sideways neck theory. I seemed
to be suspended between earth and sky
for about a week, anil was always
reconciled to the position, when I sud
denly and unexpectedly found the crim
son mattresses billowing up about me
and surging over my face, and woke to
the fact that I had really fallen. I
landed on my back, flat; but there was
no shock, nor, indeed, was 1 conscious
of having stopped; which perhaps was
due to the elasticity and rebound of the
net. The only part of the adventure
which was disagreeable physically was
the walking, or rather stumbling and
crawling, over the net to the ladder at
the farthest end, a very quaky, sea-sick
sort of business.
Acrobats and gymnasts usually prac
tice during the morning on the stage of
i some theater. Even when not working
^ at any new trick, they always practice
once a day, if their engagement does
not include two performances. Some
times they have to go through as many
as six or seven. When a man intends
to bring out some novel and special
feat, and wishes to keep it a profound
secret until its production, he hires an
empty school-room or public hall, or
even a theater, for his own exclusive
use, and there exercises with his appli
ances and assistants until he is perfect.
No stage performance is ever rehearsed
at home. It is somewhat disappointing
to find that the music which seems such
an inspiriting accompaniment to the
spectators is disregarded by some pro
fessionals, who, indeed, aver they would
rather be without “hand-clatter!”
Salaries^ ary enormously, of course.
Of late years, then- lias been a demand
for female gymnasts, and some have
been forthcoming: but, as might he ex
pected, they rarely excel. Still, they
draw good houses, and the morbid ta.-te
of the public enables some of them to
command fifty or a hundred pounds a
week. Troupe salaries run even higher
than this in exceptional cases; but man
agers always want something that no
other company has presented, and the
art is therefore a progressive one. All
manner of things are introduced to
impart a spice of novelty to old
tricks in every department. Acro
bats juggle with balls, knives,
hoops, fans, bells and burning torched
while tumbling; or throw somersaults
while playing the violin or tambourine;
or mount themselves on roller-skates
and bicycles. (Yvmnasts are “fired”
from spring-boards concealed within a
gigantic cannon, let off pistols in their
flight through the air, or go through
their evolutions amid a blaze of squibs ,
and rockets. The various “lines” of
business, too, while more numerous and
diversified, are not so distinct and sepa
rate as they used to be. Trapeze, liv
ing rings and horizontal bar work are
now combined: poles and ladders still
hold their ground: but tight-rope and
slack-wire walking—feats more easily
acquired than any others—bottle-per
formers, ceiling-steppers, pedestal acro
bats, and modern Samsons, are a drug
in the market, (it is denied, by-the
way, that the ceiling-walking, which at
one time created such a sensation, was
ever really performed by atmospheric
pressure or by magnetism, as was
alleged, springs or hooks having been
always employed.)
Equilibrists are rather in the ascend
ant just now. It seems incredible that
any one should be able to sit in a chair
and maintain it balanced on two legs
MjM'ii <111 uoviuaiiu^ i><ii < 1/1 .^tiiiiii ii|/i'ti
one leg on a globe resting on the same
unstable foundation; nevertheless, those
and other similar marvels are executed
nightly for fifty shillings a week. Koll
ing-globe and barrel performers are at
a discount; but French comic acrobats,
who mix a lot of burlesque and fun
with their tumbling, are looking up.
Circus troupes include every variety,
and have their own specialists as weil.
Clown and harlequin may be developed
from any of these; many of the famous
old clowns were accomplished spade
dancers. Hut it is the mode now to
take new departures altogether, and we
lind acrobatic ballet-troupes, dualo
guists, and comedy companies, nigget
minstrels and step-dancers who accent
uate their hornpipes with somersaults
and hand-springs.
Although most of those who follow
this calling assume foreign names, they
are nearly all English; and English ac
robats, like American circuses, French
actresses, Italian singers and German
musicians, arc noted all over the world.
In many parts they are much more
highly esteemed than they are here: in
South American countries, for instance,
the arrival of a clever gymnast causes
as great a sensation as a new prima don
na at the opera. They frequently trav
el in connection with circus companies,
which on foreign tour are of more ex
tensive proport ions than they are at
home; and it is strange sometimes, in
remote corners of the earth, to lind the
walls all atlame with some name that
was familiar in the Christmas panto
mimes for Crystal l’alace entertain
ments of long ago at home. When they
have any talking to do, they crack their
jokes in English as usual, whereverthey
may he, and it appears to go down just
as well with the audience, who. more
over, applaud vehemently, as an ex
quisite witticism, and single word of
the native language which a performer
may have picked up. If you talk to
any acrobat of ten years’ standing, you
will frequently discover that he has
been in every quarter of the globe.—
Chambers' Journal.
Too Honest to He Trusted.
A gentleman stopped his horse at a
toll-gate, and not seeing t he gateman
went into the house. Finding no one he
began to search, and finally discovered j
the gate-keeper out in the held at work, j
Although the old man was quite a dis- j
tance away, the gentleman went into
the field, approached the old man and
said:
“You are the toll-gate keeper, I be
lieve?”
“Yes, sir,” the old man replied,turn- i
ing and leaning upon his hoe handle.
“Well, I want to go through the
gate.”
“Ain’t the gate open?”
“Yes.”
“Well, why don’t you go through?
It's mv business to be there.”
“Because I want to pay you.”
“And you came all the way out here
to pay me five cents?”
“Yes, sir,” said thegentleman,proud
ly looking the old man in the eye.
“Couldn’t you have left the money j
on the table?'’
“Yes, but I wanted you to know that
I paid you.”
"You are an honest man.”
“Yes, sir,” replied the gentleman,
while a pleased expression spread over
his face.
“You would have walked three times
as far to have paid me that five cents,
wouldn’t you?"
“Yes, sir, I would.”
"Here, John,” the old man called to ■
a boy that lav in the shade, “call the
dog and go along and watch this feller
till he gets away. Bet a hundred dol
lars he steals something ’fore he leaves
the place.—Arkansaiv Traveller•
, ^
—Two young fellows stood in front of
a billboard the other night intensely
perusing the announcement of the Bos
ton Ideal Opera Company. Finally one
remarked: “What is the ‘Boston Ideal’
anyhow?” The latter looked at him
half contemptuously for a moment and
replied in a deprecatory tone: “Don’t
you know what the Boston Ideal is?
Why, you ninny, it’s baked beans.”—
Hartford Olobe.
—A. little girl visiting Niagara with
her father, and seeing the foam at the
foot of the falls, exclaimed: “Pa, how
much soap it must take to make no
much suds!”
Setting One’s House In Order.
When the head of the house is laid
low there is trouble And the trouble
is greater if. as so often happens. Death
finds him before his house is “ set in
order" and he ft ready to depart. If he
hail lived he would have collected
debts, straightened out tangles and got
things into proper shape for his succes
sor. If he hail lived, perhaps, only a
little longer, he would have made his
will, and aided so far in settling his es
tate amicably and according to his plan.
A great many more men die intestate
than otherwise. A man has the feeling
that making a will is a direct and im
mediate preparation for death, and that
putting off this duty delays the final,
fatal ilart. But when this dart has sped,
and the widow finds herself alone and
responsible for settling the estate, she
feels utterly lost and knows not which
way to turn. The legal forms that
must l>e gone through with are quite in
comprehensible and strange to her, and
she has little idea what ought to be
done, or of the manner in which the es
tate ought to be settled up. In too
many cases the wife knows very little
about her husband's business affairs, his
obligations, his assets, his liabilities.
She takes for granted that “he knows
his own business," and is not only com
petent to manage it in the best way for
the interests of both, but that he does
so, and that she is secure in any event.
Many wires have a feeling that the
manifestation of a lively interest in the
exact status of affairs would betray or
seem to lietrav a lack of confidence in
their husbands, and in accordance with
this feeling they hand over to their hus
bands ail their own property and ef
fects. trusting that by so doing they can
lose nothing. But unless accounts are
kept and the wife's property is protect
ed when the husband dies and creditors
and heirs come in. and there are fees to
be collected, there is no lack of oppor
tunity for the widow to be robbed of all
which the greed of those in whose pow
er she is may be able to swallow.
Fortunate is she that can find a trust
wormy anuacapanie man who win ad
vise ;ut to the winding up of the estate
and see that it is thoroughly and care
fully done. Women ought to know
enough of legal forms anurequirements
as to these matters to he able intelli
gently to sign papers in their own in
terest. and io refuse to sign such as
would injure them; but" while their hus
bands live, there seems to be no need of
this, and when their husbands die they
arc often too much bewildered and
overcome by the new aspect of things
to learn what is best to do and to have
done. There are many cases in which
widows have resolutely set themselves
to work to master all the principles and
details involved in the settlement of es
tates, and have administered upon them
with skill and sagacity. This course
can not be too highly commended. In
some of our States there are special
treatises upon settling estates, giving
the law and the forms to be gone
through; a woman with such a book for
consultation would be able to have an
intelligent opinion as to the various
steps to be taken in her own case. As
months are required for the work of
which we are speaking, there need lie
no haste in taking the various steps.
Where there are minor children it is
sometimes impossible to conclude mat
ters until the children attain legal ma
jority. In such cases there is time for
the widow to become so conversant with
her affairs that she may act intelligent
ly and with the advice of competent
counsel before taking any important
step.
When the wife dies, with or without
ft will, there are few legal difficulties,
often none at all, for the husband to en
counter in settling up her estate; but
when the husband dies without a will
the wife is hampered at every step, and
most of all by her own ignorance. The
best remedy for this, in the existing
state of things, is for the husband to
keep accounts so carefully and exactly
that all property or moneys belonging
to his wife's estate may be readily
identified as hers, and so not at the
mercy of his creditors, and to see to it
that all titles to property are unincum
bered. A widow left with a farm of
which her husband supposed himself
to be the owner, found after his death
tjnit the man of whom the farm was
bought had no power to give title, this,
by the operation of a self-foreclosing
mortgage, having passed into the mort
gagee before her husband bought it, A
mistake of this kind is generally much
more easily remedied by the buyer than
by his widow, for human nature is such
that the power to oppress too Often be
gets the disposition to do so. That this
has always been so is amply evidenced
by the frequent references in the Scrip
tures to the care of God for the widow
and the fatherless, and the denuncia
tions against those who oppress them.
To these the defenseless widow may lie
take herself and find in them abundant
support anil consolation.
There is no truer way for the husband
to show his love and care of his wife
and children than bv systematically so
arranging and ordering his affairs as to
leave them, in the event of his death,
protected from all who would take ad
vantage of their ignorance or their
weakness. This he will do if he sets
his house in order and keeps it so.—N.
1'. Tribune.
Climbing Life’s Ladder.
In 18ti7 there came into Cincinnati as
a stowaway on a freight train a lad of
eleven years, who, tiring of country
life, came here in the hopes of bettering
his fortune. Looking in the marvelous
store windows did not appease his hun
ger, and he approached a friendly-look
ing little bootblack; who, with kit slung
to his back, was engaged in selling
papers, and asked the contemporary use
of his box so as to earn money enough
to buy something to eat. The boot
black with great generosity gave him
five cents with which to buy something,
and told him to wait around until the
papers were sold, when, with the twenty
cents that would be realized, they would
get a square meal together. At the epi
curean feast the Cincinnati arab said:
“ The first thing yer want is headquar
ters—a place where yer can close yer
blinkers at night without bein’ pulled
bv the police. Yer waut to go to ther
Cliildren'8 Home on Third street and
give a name that ain't yer own. ao if
yer don't like it yer can skip and they
won’t find yer.”
The advice was taken with the ex
eeption of giving the fictitious name.
He told the truth straight through. For
the succeeding nine years he lived oft
and on at the Home, making himself very
useful to the institution, and at the same
time learning the trade of stone-cutter.
He was twenty-six years old when he
hade good-by to the officers of the home
and went across the river, where he ob
tained immediate employment on the
Southern Railroad at his trade, at the
pay of four dollars per diem. Three
days afterward he w as made foreman
of the gang at the pay of five dollars a
day. At tne end of the month a heavy
contractor on the road made him super
intendent, at a salary of $200 a month
and expenses. One month later found
him the owner of some horses and carts,
and doing sub-contracting, which netted
him in two years $23,000. He now,
at the age of twenty-two years, felt
that the lield was not large enough for
him, and he went West, where he took
contracts on the Union Pacific and on
the Denver & Rio Grande Railroads,
and in connection with this work con
structed for capitalists two hotels at
Denver. Still restless, he pulled up
stakes and went to Texas, where, pur
chasing one thousand Texas cattle, lie
went with the drove to Chicago and dis
posed of it at a very handsome profit.
He now found time to take a run over
to Georgetown, Ky., on tho Southern
Road, and there marry a buxom and
lovable country girl whom he took
with Dim to Colorado, where he bought
a large cattle ranch, that is at present
stocked with 1,600 head of cattle and
140 ponies. Indians being too thick
around his ranch, lie has established his
wife and two bouncing children at Colo
rado Springs. lie is now but twenty
eight years old and is worth $80,000.
Day before yesterday he walked into
the Children's Home and revealed his
name to the oflicers, who, it is needless
to say, are delighted over the phenom
enal success of their boy.
nor is ins me omv ease mai rram
like a romance. Eight years ago a
beautiful little girl of four years was
given to the institution by its depraved
mother, who was one of the city’s
noted characters. The father, a worth
less sot, disappeared. Within a few
months the child was adopted by an
excellent family, living in one of Cin
cinnati’s beautiful suburbs. Her foster
parents brought her up with every
care, and now, at the age of twelve
years, she promises to be an ornament
to her home as well as society. Within
the past few days the father, who had
not been heard of before in all these
years, appeared at the Children’s Home
and demanded the custody of his
child. His request was refused by the
trustees, who have no desire or inten
tion to see her bright life wrecked. His
demand to know where she was living
met with no better result, and he now
proposes to sue the trustees, who, it
may be stated, will stand the suit, re
lying on the aid of justice in their
cause.—Cincinnati Journal.
-♦ ♦"
Buying an Almanac.
A goou many years ago an om gen
tleman in Massachusetts was the owner
of a very rare almanac of whose value
he had an idea, but only a faint one.
It was bound with fifteen others in a
single small volume of sixteen alma
nacs. A number of Massachusetts his
torians and antiquarians had their eyes
on the paper. Several societies felt,
each of them, sure the owner was going
to will it to them.
The late George Brinley, of this city,
also knew where the book wa3 and
knew its value. He had a way of get
ting such books when he wanted them.
One day he called upon the owner of
the almanac, and after a friendly visit
they fell to talking books. The old
gentleman expressed his great interest
in the (it ntlemans Magazine, then be
come very rare, and regretted that he
hadn't it. Mr. Brinley, on the other
hand, complained of the bulkiness of
sets of bound books, and wished the
'Gentleman's Magazine was oft' his
shelves. He said he'd rather give the
space to different books. One good
| volume was worth more to him than
I many. Why, he'd rather, for example,
have those sixteen almanacs all in one .
book than his whole set of the maga
zine. The old gentleman's eyes glis
tened, but he hated to take too great
advantage, so he asked Mr. Brinley
again if he was in earnest. He said he
was.
The old gentleman said he'd make
the exchange if he felt it was a fair one.
Mr. Brinley said he’d agree to be satis
fied. They made a formal agreement,
and Mr. Brinley went home. Shortly
after a story' spread that Mr. Brinley
was “a little off his base" mentally. It
was traced back and found to have
come from the family of the old gen
tleman, who had so easily secured a full
half-calf set of the magazine. The idea
of Mr. Brinley’s disturbance of equi
librium was finally suggested to a lead
ing Massachusetts historian. He in
quired into the evidence, and when he
learned that Mr. Brinley had “got that
almanac." his grief and disappoint
ment showed only too plainly that a
good bargain had been made and that
an antiquated treasure had crossed the
boundary line from Massachusetts into
Connecticut. Anxiety about Mr. Brin
ley’s health terminated at once.
Mr. Brinley gave nearly $650 for the
full set of tire Gentleman's Magazine,
which he had to buy to fulfill his share
of the bargain. Then he took out
twelve of the almanacs that he had re
ceived and had them bound separately
at five dollars each. When he died
these twelve volumes brought $30 each,
or $360. Three of the remaining four
brought together $130, the sixteenth,
the prize of the whole, brought $565
alone. That is, what had cost him
about $710 sold for $1,055, or a clean
fifty per cent, advance over the cost.
Besides this he had had for years the
satisfaction of knowing he possessed
a great literary treasure, that he had
beaten his Massachusetts competitors,
and that he had neither lost his wits
nor been badly taken in by the kind
hearted old gentleman who had scrupled
to make so good a trade.—Hartferd
Con rant
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.
—Dr. Tanner, the faster, who has
lived in Corrv, Pa., for several months,
has removed to Jamestown, in New |
York State.
—It was observed that when Mr. I
Parnell pronounced his name in the |
House of Commons lately, he laid the
accent on the first syllable—Parnell.
—There is hardly any need for the
London pa|>ers to say that Gladstone is
about to retire. It appears that about
all the big men on the footstool are re
tiring to enjoy their last sleep.—iY. Y.
Graphic.
—A great poet is not without honor
save in his own country. An Ayrshire
paper is authority for the statement that
there is not a single copy of Burns'
poems in the free public library at
Mauchline.
—The death of Mrs. Harriet Lane
Johnson’s onlysurvivingchild recalls tin;
memory of her gracious presence in the
White House when her uncle. James
Buchanan, was President, and how
Lord Lyons, then British Minister, was
engaged to be married to her.
Mi<s Linda Hilbert, the “prisoner’s
friend,” is now endeavoring to secure
additional educational facilities and
other reforms in the prisons of Balti
more and Washington. She will soon
sail for England, and devote the sum
mer to efforts in behalf of prison re-1
form there.—S'. Y. Times.
—Ex-Senator Thurman's recent seri
ous accident occurred as he was hurry
ing down-stairs to get a paper from a
newsboy. His foot caught in the car
pet. and he fell forward two steps to the
hall door. He was carried to his room,
when it was found that his left arm
was squarely broken just above the ;
elbow.
—Wendell Phillips’ wife has been an
invalid for over thirty years, and dur- j
ing all this time the great orator has i
been untiring in his attention to her.
“No one but you can know what it
has been to care for her,” was re
marked to him recently. “Ah! No
one but me knows how good she is,”
was his hcartsome answer.
■—Miss Lotta Mignon Crabtree, bettei
known by the simple name of Lotta, lias
been losing her singing voice during
some time past, and by the advice of
her physicians will retire from the stage
for two years in order to seek expert
medical treatment in Europe. Should
it lie found that her voice can not be re
stored, her retirement from the stage
will be permanent.—Chicago Times.
HUMOROUS.
—A little boy being asked if lie was
dux of his class, replied: “I am where
the head of the class used to be, but
the. teacher has turned the class
around.”
—Never write to the morning jour
nals to explain that you didn't do it.
Any snake can tell you that there is no
use gnawing oil a newspaper tile.—
Pitch.
—“I like your new hat very much,”
he said. “It's chic; there's a sort of
abandon—•” “There isn’t any sort of
band on it,” she said, pouting. It's a
real ostrich feather.”
—The following is said to Vie a bril
liant example of German wit: Child—
“Herr Pastor, mv mother sends me to
say that my father died last night.”
Pastor—“Did you call a doctor?” j
Child—“No, Herr Pastor; he died of j
himself. ”—London Society.
—A Virginia calf was found in the
hay-loft the other day, and the owner
proves Unit the wind must have blown |
it up there because “there was no lad
der-way for it to climb up.” The gen
eral opinion in the neighborhood though
is that the owner expected the tax
assessor round that day.—Boston Fo*t.
—“Johnnie,” said the teacher, "a
lie can be acted, as well as told. Now,
if your father was to put sand in his
sugar, and sell it, he would be acting a
lie and doing very wrong.” “That’s
what mother told him,” said Johnnie,
impetuously; “ and he said he didn't
care.”—N. T. Examiner.
—A sober Philadelphia omnibus came
near upsetting, and the possible victims,
with one exception, threw up hands of
protesting leverage. The exception sat
motionless. " How could you be so
calm?” asked a friend. “My dear,” i
was the reply, “ my gloves arc a mis
lit.”—Exchange.
—“Please, sir, there’s nothing in the
house to eat,” said Brown’s landlady.
“How about the fish I sent in?”
“Please, sir, the cat 'ave eat them.”
“Then there’s some cold chicken—” j
“Please, sir, the cat—” “Wasn’t
there tart of some sort?” “ Please, ;
sir, the cat—” “All right, I must do
with cheese and—” “Please, sir, the
cat—” “Then, darn .it, cook the cat,
and let’s have it all at once.”—N. ¥.
Tribune.
—At a railroad station, lately, an el- ;
derly Irish woman who had arrived a
few seconds after the train had started, j
set off to run after it. She of course J
soon came to a halt, when she began to
abuse the unaccommodating engine,
adding with a “nate” brogue: “Faugh! |
the great black ugly lump! When she
gets as old as me she won't run so
quick!”
Something Better Than Railroads.
During a Western trip of one of New
York's railroad kings, made last year, j
it became known through the passenger
coaches that his private car was at
tached to the train, and as the conductor
entered one of the coaches a man from
Northern Indiana beckoned to him and t
asked:
“Is Mr. Gould’s car with this train?"
“Yes; sir.”
“Is Mr. Gould in that car?”
“He is.”
“Can I go in and see him?”
“If you can get in.”
“Well, I'll try,” said the man, as he
rose up. “ I’ve got a model here of the
smartest, cutest and best washing-ma
sheen ever invented, and if Mr. Gould
will drop his railroads and take hold of
this with me. I’ll warrant him a steadv
income, after the first year, of forty dol
lars a week.”
He didn't succeed in entering the car,
and that may be the reason why Mr.
j Gould is still in the railroad business.
Wall Street Newt.
Temperance.
DUFAY! SELL! DRINK! BUT!
» Brew, brew, brew!
For there’s gold in the sale
Of our Jolly brown ale.
And together we’ll wink.
While the poor ninnies drink.
How they go tor the slush
W hen their money is flush.
Till they <|tiitrro| and fight.
As they reel hone- at night.
All ais drunk us can tie.
Coming fre*h from a spree:
But you know it's our trade.
While our license Is paid;
So huzza and huzza!
For the drinking brigade.
Brew, brew, brewl
Through the whole of the land
We’ll supply the demand.
For we care not for right,
I>*t the ;M‘ople get tight;
We have nothing to lose.
Let them drink when they choose.
For we feel not the pain.
And we see not the slain;
Or the murdered one’s gore,
A* It flow-* on the floor.
All our fortunes are made.
And our taxes are paid.
And we stand at the lioad
Of the drinking brigade.
Sell, sell, sell!
We have influence great.
In each county and State;
And we care not for those
Solier |**ople, our foes,
Thom* fanatics, who think
There’s no good in strong drink.
Let them blow ntsmt jails.
And complain of our ales.
Of the drunkards who die.
And the women who cry
O’er the graves that are made
By the old si-xton's spade,
(hi Is half of the ins** Ives
And the drinking brigade.
Drink, drink, drink!
Let each Jolly old soul
Hug his firm friend, the bowl;
And forever we ll sell
Till they sink into hell;
A' we laugh at the deed.
W hile the children in need
To the work-house are led.
And on charity fed;
Till they blow off the froth.
Ere they suck in our broth.
Their own selves to degrade.
In support of our trade.
And the revenue drawn
From the drinking brigade.
Buy, buy, buy!
You should drink while you can,
’Tis by far the best plan.
For tlx* use of your tin
We’ll till up vour skin
With our jolly brown l**er.
Which we brew every year.
’Tis to finger your cash.
That we simmer and mash
The vast mountain of grain
From the valley and plain.
’Tis alone by our aid
That the drunkards are made.
So three cheers, and huzza
For the drinking brigade.
— 7*. II. Thompson* in -Ye tv Haven Com tram wealth.
l tie r oou >aiue or Aieonoi.
In 1879 there was a somewhat pecu
liar attempt to throw overboard many
of the views which had been enter
tained as to alcohol, and to assume for
it a food value, which insisted that it
must Iwve recognition in the list of
aliments. The Contemporary Review,
Harper's Magazine, the New York
Times, etc., put forth these views, as if
the army of Temperance reformers had
been overthrown, so far as this part of
the subject was concerned. The sani
tary articles of this paper July 3 and
July 17 of 1879 considered the grounds
for such conclusions. The new views
had been based upon some utterances
and experiments of Prof. Binz, which
did, indeed, contradict some of the con
clusions of Lallemand, Duroy and Per
rin: but were not capable of applica
tion to the extent to which they were
pushed.
The address of Dr. Baer on “The
Abuse of Alcohol,'’ at the ninth annual
meeting of the German Society of Pub
lic Health, while it atf ' m
demn spirits and er.
series of limitations which showed how
unduly these views had been quoted in fa
vor of a more liberal use of alcohol. But
still more important is the fact that Prof.
Binz has again been heard from in fur
ther experiment and in his own ex
pression as to the significance of the
views expressed. In response to an
invitation of the Congress of Hygiene,
held in Vienna, September, 1881, he laid
down these two theses:. 1. That alcohol
in any form is to be recommended as a
means of diminishing tissue waste only
under abnormal circumstances. 2. That
alcoholic drinks frequently contain, by
products of fermentation or of distilla
tion, more hurtful than ethyl alcohol
itself. To the question whether alcohol
can be considered as a food he answers
No. as well as Yes. He then defines
his Yes. If a body is in disease and
nutrition has failed, and “the tissues
themselves, especially the fat. are so
far consumed as not to maintain the
animal heat essential to the working of
the machine; when this limit is reached
the oxidation of alcohol in the cells acts
directly in restoring the energy of the
respiratory and circulating centers.”
He further adds that on the relation
between the consumption of alcohol
and the elimination of carbonic acid
and absorption of oxygen we must con
fess to a gap in our knowledge. Al
though his views are disputed as to this
oxidation of alcohol, yet he, in defining
and claiming its value under these ab
normal circumstances of disease,
adds that here we have reached the
limits of its legitimate domain.
Whatever may be said as to the possible
value of alcohol as a possible food
is based upon the assumption that
alimentation in its usual form is impos
sible, that the tissue and fat-food in re
serve is about exhausted, and that thus
alcohol may aid in the emergency. So
narrow even is this agency that the
good physician will not trust to any
such hypothetical use, but bids you to
watch very closely the effect. If it is
claimed that, by reason of overwork, of
undue exposure, or of imperfect foods,
very many are in a condition of ap
proaching ill-health, in view of the
jierils of alcohol, the answer is that we
should seek the remedy of these, and
also add “the aromatic constituents of
tea and coffee, which stimulate the
heart and nerve centers and straited
muscles, without the subsequent ex
haustion that follows the use of alcohol.”
It is a sorry excuse to say that, though
they might thus appear to be valuable
substitutes for it, they must, to obtain
these effects, be taken in such quanti
ties as, on the ground of cost, can not
be indulged in oy the poorer classes. It
is delightful to* see now this evidence
claimed in favor of alcohol is dwindling.
With all that we are finding out as to
the power of real foods and the methods
of their use it is more and more evi
dent that alcohol must be confined
strictly to the domain of a medicine.
and mnst not be accredited as an ail
ment for all the little ailments that may
occur.
It is very important, too, that Prof.
Bins does not at all accept the usual
distinctions between spirituous and fer
mented liquors. While be can not but
I lament the disastrous consequences,
both to the individual and to society, of
j excessive indulgence inspirits, hemain
i tains that “the confirmed beer drinker
| is no less an aicoholist than the spirit
drinker, though the outward effect on
his bodily frame may be different.”
The dire effects of beer drinking is at
tracting the attention of the German
Government, and the resulting race de
terioration is making itself felt. The
other point stated by Prof. Bin* is no
less important. He* urges the hurtful
effects of the by-products, and does not
confine his view to fusel oil. “It is the
duty of science to acquire a more exact
knowledge of these by-products, of art
to eliminate them from alcoholic drinks,
j and of the State to repress the sale of
impure alcohols.” Every gain in sani
tary knowledge and in a study of the
conditions of perfect health tends to
drive alcohol from use and to find in
those foods which correspond with the
human system the aliments which sus
tain human life.—A*. Y. Independent.
^ How It Paid.
The first saloon licensed by the Board
of .County Commissioners, nearly nine
years ago, paid fifty dollars for that
privilege. It met a hitter opposition
from the friends of Temperance and
good order; but the rum men were
alert, and, bv presenting a bogus peti
tion asking for it, the thing was granted,
and fifty' dollars are supposed to have
gone into the treasury.
A change at once came over our
| town. Drunken men began to be seen
upon our streets. Men who before paid
j their bills regularly now paid so much
for rum that their bills to honest trades
i men had to go unpaid.
The air of that saloon, night and day
1 was made black with profanity, vulgar
ity and rum. Our young men went thero,
| and stayed until the hour of midnight.
What effect it had upon them will nevef
! be written
A poor hard-working settler down on
the river, who had opened up a farm,
Hnd theretofore maintained a family, be
gan to visit the saloon and to neglect
| his home. One morning he was found
outside with his head fatally crushed by
a drunken companion. A long and
tedious series of trials followed, costing
{he county over one thousand dollars,
resulting in sending the murderer to
prison for fourteen years, and breaking
up his tamily.
The murdered man’s widow made an
attempt to keep her family together on
the farm, and to furnish them with food;
! hut in two or three years she died—no
' doubt from privation. A daughter soon
; followed her mother from the same
cause; then the ragged children were
scut to their friends m Ohio, at the ex
pense of the county.
These facts are given from my knowl
edge of them, and just as they are.
Now let ns see how this transaction
paid:
Paid to keep murderer fourteen years,
say $200 per year.$2,800
l Convict murderer. 1,000
Send children to Ohio, say. 75
industry for six children, lost to the State
ten years, at $100 per year. 6,000
Total expense.$$,875
Deduct license. 50
Lost by transaction. $9,823
—Kansas State Sentinel.
-
A New England Prescription.'
There are a great many intemperate
persons who would like to become tem
perate; but the over-ruling love of the
taste of liquors conquers all their good
resolutions, and again and again they
I fall.
Many years ago there lived in New
England a large family of children, the
mother of whom, when any sickness
occurred, obliged the invalid to swal
low a dose of castor oil in port wine—
wine was never used for any other pur
1 pose in that family; and the bottle
labelled port wine was a horror to each
j child.
The family grew and separated, go
iug to all parts of the Union. I have
taken pains to trace each member, and
not one of them had any inclination to
drink intoxicating liquors. It has been
no effort for them to be temperate, their
stomachs loathe the taste.
Would it not be well for those afflict
ed with the “vice or disease” of in
temperance, who desire a cure to try
the New England prescription?—Sat*
Francisco Rescue.
Temperance Items.
The young ladies of Topeka, Kan.,
have organized Red Ribbon Clubs, the
members of which pledge themselves to
reject all attention from young men
who use intoxicating beverages. This
is practical prohibition.—Ckxcaqo Inter
Ocean.
The proposed Prohibition amend
ment was passed by the Senate of Ore
gon by a vote of eighteen to ten, and
by the House by a vote of fifty-two to
six, two members being absent from
each house. The measure will come be
fore the next Legislature, two years
hence, and if agreed to then will be sub
mitted to the vote of the people.
I)r. Norman Kerr recently stated
in Exeter Hall that of 34,000,000 cases
of disease every year in the United
States, a large proportion arose from
indulgence in intoxicants. Some sev
entydiseases are described as arising
directly from alcohol. The estimated
annual mortality caused directly and in
directly by dnnking was given at
120,000.
In days past I have seen some drunk
enness and the effects thereof. I have
seen the dead bodies of women mur
dered by drunken husbands; I have
seen the "best meu in America go down
to disgraceful graves; I have seen for
tunes wrecked, prospects blighted, and
I have pursued a great many pages of
statistics. There are crimes on the cal
endar not resulting from rum, but were
rum eliminated, the catalogue would be
so reduced as to make it hardly wcHh
the compiling. Directly or indirectly,
mm is cnargeable with a good ninety
per cent, of the woes that afflict out
country —Fasby, «* Mm Toledo (Q ]
Blade.