the grookhavrn Reader.
PUBLISHED EVERT THURSDAY.
BROOKHATEflfc t MISSISSIPPI.
A BASE-BALL BALLAD.
J. Smith Is dead. Thai One young man
We ne'er shall see him more.
He >u a member of our club
Since IBM.
HIs private virtue* were Immense,
His manner free and bluff.
He wore a paper collar, and
Was never known to muff.
He rarely took a drink more strong
Than lemonade or pop;
He hated drunkards, and was a
Magnificent sh»rt-*top.
His no«e was Roman, and his eye#
Continually were peeled:
He made a splendid umpire, and
A beautiful left-field.
His hair was red.and shingled close;
Much sunburned was his face.
He never showed with more effect
Than on the second base.
Being a man. be had his faults.
As likewise have we all:
He felt a preference for the New
York regulation ball.
Though not a matrimonial man.
He dearlv loved a match.
And. like hi* sisters, had but few
Superiors on the catch.
He had a noble mind, a* oka
A very supple wrist;
And when he pitched he gave the ball
His own peculiar twist.
Of politics and church affairs
He held restricted views;
His feet were usually encased
In canvas, hob-nailed shoes.
But he Is gone. With ins and outs
Forever he is done;
He broke his heart and hurt his spleen
In making a home-run.
His body we have planted now.
His soul is in the sky;
The angel* reached from Heaven dowa
And took him on the tlv.
—Burlington Ha\cktjt.
A COMMONPLACE HERO.
Morning at Erie. A faint breeze is
blowing on the land, that makes only
the lightest ripples on the surface of the
lake and bay. A mile or two out from
the shore a few sails are outlined against
the horizon, and the course of a pro
peller so far distant as not to be seen
may still be traced by a light line of
smoke. The court-house clock strikes
four long, lazy strokes, according to its
deliberate habit, and a little later the
keeper of the Presqu’ Isle lighthouse at
the entrance of the harbor puts out his
light. He may well do so. for the flush
in the east has deepened into a flame.
The slender shaft of the water-tower is
crimson at its summit, and the city
spires one after another are tippt-d with
fire. Upward conies the sun and down
ward sinks the glow. The water-tower
is a crimson pillar now, the ungainly
elevators at the water’s edge look al
most beautiful in the fair light, the trees
on Presqu' Isle are bathed in it, and the
distant sails redden as it touches them.
Still upward comes the sun till the hori
zon line can no longer conceal it, and
it seems as if it must in a moment more
come rolling in fiery splendor along t!.e
blazing path it has burned across the
water. A small boat from the life
saving station crosses the glowing track,
and red drops flash from the gleam ng
oars. And now- the whole broad lake
glistens as the sun climbs higher, but
the red glow- has gone, the glory has
faded, and another commonplace day
has begun.
A commonplace day to you or to me:
but never yet did there dawn a day that
was not ere its close consecrated by
some act of loyalty to the best emotions
of the human heart. You or I may
have watched the splendor of the dawn
ing day from Garrison Hill, and gone
home thrilled with its grandeur, only
to forget a few hours later the fine
feelings that have sprung up within us,
the vague aspirations that the sight has
evokeu. For us, then, the splendor has
been exchanged for the commonplace.
Frank Gaskell has had no time this
morning for seeing the sunrise from
Garrison Hill, had he wished to do so.
which is quite unlikely. A sew-er con
tractor with a large force of laborers in
his employ is not usually a man to
whom sunrises appeal in any esthetic
way, or one who indulges in vague talk
about the commonplace. And, looking
at Frank Gaskell, you will say he is the
last man of whom anything “vague”
can be predicated. A tall, well-built
fellow- of thirty, only passably good
looking, but with a firm mouth, and
eyes whose angry flash the workmen
under him do not care to encounter.
When he speaks it is in short, nervous
sentences that leave no doubt of his
meaning. Alert, keen and energetic,
he allows no idlers about him, and you
would call him merely a pushing, com
mon-place man, and seek to know no
more of him. At present he is con
ducting the excavations in Poplar street
preparatory to constructing a sewer for
that locality, and very busy this occu
pation keeps him. Through the middle
of the street for several squares the cut
ing extends, its course marked by two
long lines of sand and gravel. A yaw n
ing chasm twenty or more feet deep it
is, its walls carefully boarded at inter
vals. Down there in the half darkness
some of Gaskell's men are laboriously
Sng, while others are hoisting
ets of earth to the surface and adil
ing thus to the height of the yellow
piles on each side of the cutting. It is
nine o’clock when Gaskell, after care
ful directions to the lalwrers on the
surface, descends to the bottom of the
excavation to make his daily inspection
of the work there. As he passes slowly
along his quick glance takes in every
feature of the work. Now he stops to
direct some clumsy workman to u--e his
spade in a less awkward way, and now
he pauses to tap the boarding at various
places to see if it can sustain the pres
sure of the looser earth behind it. Sud
denly he turns about angrily.
“Didn’t I tell you last night to have
this place right here boarded on both
sides?” he says to oue of the men near
est to mm.
“ I belive you did,” stammers the
man, “ but there wan’t no good boards
here then, and Jim Mulligan said he
would bring some the first thing this
morning, but he hasn’t come yet.”
Gaskell hardly hears the excuse, he
is so occupied with his examination of
the walls of the cutting.
“This ought to be boarded for fifty
feet each side,” he says, “and it’s got
to be done this morning. Send Ms
haffey here to me at once. He’s up
above there by the Sixth street cross
ing;” and the man thus bidden hastens
•way.
The place where Gaskell is now
standing is about midway of the
length of the sewer cutting, and be
tween him and the northern end some
thirty laborers are digging busily.
Toward the southern end the excava
tion is shallower, and several ladders
nflar furnish the means of ascent or de
scent. One of these is about sixty feet
south of Gaskell. While he is waiting
he surveys the distance between it ana
himself with his eye.
” I doo'v l.ke ike looks ol things
ulong here.” he says, half aloud. *' I
believe I’ll have boards put up as far
as that ladder, anjway. ' he continues,
as he walks toward the south.
The men at the northern end are
working toward him. deepening the
cutting in his direction, and while he
paces back and forth a dozen or more
of the workmen are rapidly extending
tbeir work toward that part of the ex
cavation.
Be careful how you jump round
there,” he calls sharply to some men
on the surface who are hoisting up the
earth removed by the shovels of the la
borers below: “them bank* ain't none
too strong, yon know. Johnson.” he
says to one of the men who are peer
ing down at him from above, “set some
one to moving the dirt further from the
edge along ttu-re: and be mighty quick
about it, too.”
“It is too hot to hurry.” grumble
some of the m>*n at the top as Johnson
tells them of Gaskell’s orders.
But if it is hot up there, where the
breeze is blowing, it is far worse down
where Gaskell and the others an*. It
is not verv light there, and the a:r is f
close and heavy. Some of the younger
men are complaining of the heat in no I
gentle tones.
“That's no good," says Gaskell to
one man: “leave off your swearing and
go to work. It ain’t a-going to be no
cooler for all your cussing.”
“ An’ you're right there. Muster Gas
kell,” comments a brawny Irishman
near: “it s not sweatin' that'll cool the
air for Mike, and it’s like to make it a
dale hotter for him in the next worruld,
or else Father Casey's a liar.
There is a laugh at this, and Mike’s,
grumblings and curses arc silenced for
a time.
“ It’s time Mahaffey was back,” Gas
kell is beginning, when a handful of
sand anil gravel falls close to him.
“Mind what you're about up then*,”
he calls, but as he looks up he sees
then: is no one near the ed-^e, and just
then a larger handful of earth falls on
the other side of him. He turns to see
from whence it has fallen, and all the
color in his cheek leaves it instantly,
for all along on the western wall of the
cutting, where he had declared boards
I should be placed, pebbles are falling
and the loose sand is sliding down.
Gaskell well knows what all this
, means.
“.Matce lor the ladders, men: necaus.
“And quick, too," he adds, hurriedly.
Some of the men have already pushed
their work beyond him, and these are
between him and the nearest ladder.
Almost as soon as Gaskell, they per
ceive the danger, and, dropping their
tools, they hurry toward the ladder,
hustling and beating each other in their
mad haste. These will save them
selves, Gaskell thinks; but what of the
others?
“Hurry, men! hurry!” he calls sharp
ly, and swiftly the men, their faces
blanched with fear, fly past him.
And now the sand is sliding down
rapidly, and the cutting is shallower by
a foot or more in the half minute since
Gaskell gave the alarm, and still the
men are running past and are crowding
about the foot of the ladder nearest, too
much crazed by terror to hasten to the
ladders beyond, where they might be
safe. From where he stands Gaskell
looks at the throng.
“Pretty poor chance for me,” he
says to himself; and just then the sand
stops sliding, and for moment the rat
tling of pebbles stops.
“A false alarm, may be,” Gaskell
says, half aloud.
The men are nearly all up the ladder
by this time, and Gaskell himself is
moving toward it as the last laborer
comes near him. He is an old man,
too old for such work, Gaskell has often
said, and he did not mean to have him
employed below the surface.
“ 1 didn’t know vou were here, .Jim,”
he says to the elder man. “Johnson
should have kept you up there with
him. But you must be mighty quick
now to get out of this.”
The other scarcely heeds what Gas
kell is saving, but pushes on as fast as his
rheumatic legs will let him, and Gas
kell follows. When they have gone a
few feet further the sand once more be
gins sliding and the pebbles fall more
rap'dly. Frank gives a groan as he
perceives this.
“Hurry, Jim,” he calls; you are
older than 1, so you must go up the lad
der first.”
As they hasten onward over the yield
ing sand now covering the bottom of
the dark path an abandoned tool, which
the uncertain feet of the old man have
strangely missed, is stumbled upon by
Gaskell, who falls heavily.
“ Hurry, Jim,” he calls once more, as
he rises, bruised, and with diflieulty;
“you’ll get there safe.”
It is but a few moments since the
alarm was given, but now the sand is
falling all about him, and as Frank ad
vances a few paces from where he fell,
part of the western wall comes down
upon him in one swift, terrible rush.
Bound alsmt him rises the soft yellow
sand. To his knees, to his waist, then
higher to his neck, and the rush is
staved.
********
As Jim painfully toils lip the ladder
and reaches the surface, a dozen voices
call to him:
“ Where's Mr. Gaskell?"’
“ Down there,” answers Jim, point
ing in a bewildered way to the pit from
which he has escaped.
At this the others hasten to the edge,
just as the western wall falls, hut a few
feet to the north of them.
“ It's all up with poor Mr. Gaskell,”
say several voices.
“ No, it isn’t; I can see him,” some
one says w ho is peering cautiously over
lest the treacherous earth should give
wav at that point also, and then they
hear Frank’s clear voice:
‘‘I’m here, boys. Sorry to give you
another job, butl guess you’ll have to
dig me out of this; I can’t tret out alone,
you know.”
“Indade, Muster Gaskell, we’ll
wuiTuk to get yez out as long as we’ve
got arrurns,” exclaim the men, in great
relief at hearing his voice again.
But how to do this is not easy to tell.
The sand has stopped falling, but even
a footstep on the bank near may cause
it to fall. The eastern wall, however,
seems iirm, and on that side the men
begin their work. It will be along task.
To work northward toward Gaskell
from the bottom of the cutting will in
evitably bring down more earth upon
him, and the only available plain seems
to be to make a transverse cutting from
the eastern side, and endeavor to reach
him in that way. The news of the dis
aster has spread 'very rapidly through
the city, and in a short time crowds are
hurrying toward Poplar street. But
only the workmen are allowed near the
opening. All others, except a couple of
reporters, are sternly kept back by the
police. The work goes on slowly,
though many willing hands are engaged.
The Herald reporter, a tall, well-made
fellow, goes to the edge of the opening
above Gaskell.
“Courage, Frank! ” he says; tender
ly; “they’ll have you put of this
shortly.”
••Oh. ye*, the boys will do their best,”
Gaskell answers.
“How did you happen to be the only 1
one left down there?'' asks the other.
••Well, you kn-*w, Strawfonl, I had
to see that my men were all out. It
wouldn’t hare doae for me to scramble
out first.”
This is said naturally enough, and as
if it had not occurred to the speaker
that he could have done otherwise than
to see that his men were safe before try
ing to save himself.
“You are a noble fellow, Frank."
Strawford says: and then to the com
panion reporter he adds: “There aren't
many fellows that would do as Gaskell ,
has done this morning.”
The hours move on slowly, but if they 1
seem long to those alove in the free air
and sunshine what must thev he to 1
Gaskell down there in the half-darkness
waiting for deliverance! Strawford
goes away after a time, hut returns 1
shortly with a bottle of wine, and after ;
soaking a sponge with the wine lowers ,
it carefully to Ga«kell.
*• That will do you good if you can
possibly get hold of it, Frank,” he
savs.
This the other essays to do, and aftet
one or two ineffectual attempts succeeds
in getting a portion of the sponge be
tween hi* teeth.
“ It’s good for you,” calls out Straw
ford from above, “and you shall have
just as much as you want to keep up
your strength.”
Bv and by the noon whistles blow
shrilly, and hundreds of workmen who
have just heard the news of the acci
dent Hock toward Poplar street, and
from one to another it is told that
Frank Gaskell is down there in the cut
ting buried in the sand up to his neck,
and that it will be hours before they can
get him out. Again the whistles blow,
and the men from the mills and facto
ries return to their work, but the
anxious, waiting crowd is still great,
and to their impatient eyes but small
progress is making toward Gaskell’s
rescue. The court-house clock strikes
two, then three, and still Strawford is
kneeling by the edge speaking encour
aging words to Gaskell and telling him
what progress the workmen are mak
ing. The long afternoon drags by.
Gaskell from his prison watches the
white clouds chase each other across
the narrow rift ot blue sky that he can
see. He says but little, and Strawford
fears he is growing weaker.
“More wine, Frank?” he asks: but
the other says “No,” and the silence is
unbroken save for the noise of the
workmen's shovels as deliverance slow
ly approaches.
ine clock strikes tour, ana as tneiast
stroke ends Gaskell says wearily:
“Is it no later? It seems to me I have
been here for days.”
“Courage, Frank!” Strawford says
cheerfully; “we shall have you tip here
with us before long. The men are work
ing bravely, and they are a great deal
nearer you than they were an hour
ago.”
“I'm glad Jim got out safe,” Gaskell
says, a little after this. “Poor man! I
was afraid he wouldn’t be able to move
quick enough.”
“Frank, ’ Strawford calls to him,
“Johnson tells me they hope in another
hour to have you out of this if all goes
right”—and here Strawford breaks off
suddenly.
Sand and pebbles are once more rat
tlingdownfrom the treacherous western
wall.
“My God!” exclaims Strawford. in
low tones, “I am afraid it’s all up with
Frank.”
Faster and faster slides the sand, and
j Gaskell gives one. agonized look into
Strawford's pitying face. Then once
again the sand" comes down in one
fierce rush, completely filling the cut
ting. and Strawford, with the memory
of Frank Gaskell's last look, turns
away.—Oscar Fay Adams, in Christian
Union.
Ye Noble Savages.
Twenty-eight wild men, six wilu
women and four unclad children, none
of whom had ever been out of the
mountains, were led by Major Llewel
lyn down to a station on the Santa Fe
Railroad a few days ago. When a train
j boomed in the band were awed, and
| whispered exclamations of “ de-sa-ra
j ta” (wonderful) were many times re
j peated. The brawny fellows, who etnp
! ty-handed would face a grizzly, were
afraid to step into the cars, and the
j squaws and their children crouched
[ behind their trembling lords. But they
| were to board the train, and Hat on
their faces between the seats this re
markable band of Apaches was borne
i into Santa Fe to take part in the tertio
! m llennial parade. No part of the pro
| cession was so striking. Leonine heads
j set on shapely, robust frames, with
massive shoulders and chests full and
rounded, splendidly displayed by tight
fitting buckskin costumes; sinewy
trunks and Hanks of shifting muscles.
constituted tne pnysicai material ior an
exhibition both graceful and unique.
The keen, strong black eyes glistened
iu a setting of red, brown and yellow,
drawn across their dusky faces in lines
and bands of original and striking de
I signs. San Juan wore around his nejk
a medal of Gartiefd. During the sec
ond day of their visit a maiden of the
band fell in love with a white exhibitor.
As he was arranging his wares his wrist
was grasped from behind and he turned
to see the figure of the Apache woman
vanishing in the crowd, leaving with
him a silver circlet from her own arm.
“That means,” he explained in the
evening, as he pulled back his cuff to
show the ornament, “that I must see
her before either of us leave here. It
would be as good as my life is worth to
take off this bracelet for an hour while
I stay in Santa Fe.”—Cor. Chicago
Times.
What a Jealous “Hubby” Found.
Last Wednesday afternoon a promi
nent business man, residing in the ex
treme western part of the city, was seen
i occunying one of the benches in Lincoln
i Park", "busily engaged handling several
hundred pieces of small paper. A
reporter happening in the vicinity, and
having the pleasure of the business
man’s acquaintance, asked him what he
was trying to do.
“ I "found these bits of paper in the
dining-room of my house, ana I am of
the opinion that some fellow has ligen
writing to my wife, and as I am aniii.jus
to see what the letter contained, I acme
to this place to put it together.”
“Can I assist you?” asked th® re
porter.
“ Yes, if you promise not to give any.
thing away.”
At the expiration of four hours the
work was accomplished, when the
husband was astonished by the follow
ing:
Ciscihkati, 1S88.
_
Dear Sir: Please come down and settle that
shoe bill. It has been on my books (or sev
eral months, and I wish It paid. It not paid
by July 1st, 1 will be obliged to sue you.
The husband jumped into the pond
hard by, and up to date had not Deen
heard qL—Cincinnati Enguirer,
HOME, FARM A XT) UARDEX.
—A mixture of Mack pepper and
flour, in proportions of four of the
former to one of the latter, dusted on
cucumber Tines immediately after rains
is a good protection against insects.—
A'.) Post.
—In Russia the finer variety of plums
are raised by planting the trees at an
angle of forty-five degrees or lower,
and bending them down before snow
falls in winter, which then covers and
protects them completely.
—A correspondent of the AVtc En
gland Farmer thinks that a liberal dress
ing of phosphoric acid, potash and lime
will prevent the ravages of black knot
in plum and cherry trees, saying this
disease is unknown where land is new
and rich in mineral elements.
—Veal salad, if made with care, will
actually take the place of chicken salad,
and will deceive the epicure. I’se at
this season of the year a little lettuce
torn in small bits and plenty of celery
salt. Make the dressing just the same
as if the meat wore chicken.—A”. Y.
Pod.
—A nice filling for chocolate cake is
made of five tablespoonfuls of grated
chocolate, five of sugar, and the yelk of
one egg: if the egg does not moisten it
sufficiently wet it with a little milk: put
it in a little tin pail and set it in a dish
of boiling water, anti cook like custard
until it begins to bubble.—Exchange.
—It is common to cut grain as low
down as possible. Sometimes thi3 is
necessary to gather it all when felled
by rains," but otherwise there is no ad
vantage in low cutting. A long stubble
is often an efficient protection for young
clover in winter. It holds the snow,
which would otherwise blow away.—
Chicago Tribune
—It is a practice among gardeners
when re-potting plants to pack the
earth very' tightly about the roots. The
gardener's reason for this is the fact
that a loose soil acts as a sponge to re
tain too much water, while a very* com
pact soil will hold little more than
the plant needs. This is a wise precau
tion to guard against over-watering.
—The American Garden suggests that
that synonym of meanness, "pusley,”
may be got r.d of by raking it into heaps
—the larger the better—between the
rows of vegetables. The centre of the
heap will soon ferment, and in a short
time reduce the entire ma-s to a
black blotch upon the ground. If all
mean men could only be got rid of as
easily!
—A successful grower of quinces at
tributes his success to the fact that
most of the trees were set in low, mur
ky ground, and with such shelter that
their fallen leaves and those of an ad
joining apple orchard, made a good an
nual mulch. He says it is not the
trunk and branches of the quince that
are tender, but the roots, trees being
almost invariably killed in ex] osed
situations where frost penetrates deep
ly. He mulches well with autumn
leaves and well-rotted stable manure,
saying the better the manure (with rea
sonable limits ) the fairer and larger the
fruit.—y. V. Utrall.
An Inviting Field for the Amateur.
It does not follow that because a
young man is the son of a farmer, and
has grown up to manhood on the farm,
he is competent to become a successful
amateur breeder of the better classes of
ftirm stock. Taste, and precision in
practice—and this latter qualification
comes only to those possessing tact
and judgment—are far more necessary
than that it can be merely said of a
young man that he has been raised on a
farm, and has been accustomed to the
routine of ordinary farm work. Thjs
routine, in part, tits the land for grass,
thus forming the foundation for the
breeder to commence upon. It also puts
the grain in the bin and the hay in the
stack as a commencement for the man
who practices the higher art, namely,
that of breeding improved farm ani
mals.
A superficial view mav lead a man to
imagine that the held of raising purely
bred stock is already fully occupied,
and that for any other than an expert
to enter this field is simply an act
of presumption: that there is great lia
bility of overdoing the business, and
hence good reason for caution. Now.
who ever knew of a lot of good farm
stock of any sort, no matter how appar
ently hid away in an obscure neighbor
hood, if of fair quality and ready for
market, for which there were not ready
buyers. This is not the case in other
lines of business, as we are constantly
confronted with announcements of over
stocking in various lines of manufactur
ing, and consequent failures, simply be
cause there are not buyers.
Due weight is not usually given 10
the fact that improving a breed of do
m•■stie animals does not necessarily ad I
to their fecundity, but rather, in certain
hands, their tendency to increase is
lessened, while an important item in the
case of manufacturing rests in the in
creased fa'-ilities for turning off work.
A moment’s reflection will show anoth
er point of difference in the case of
meat-producing animals. The coat
worn may be made in a day hut it
wears a year. The carriage used may
be made in a mout'i or two, but mav
last a decade. A -set of furniture, made
in a month, will last a lifetime, while
the flesh of the mcat-produe'ng animal,
which it has taken from one to three or
four years to grow and prepare fo'
market, is consume 1 in a day.
So, upon these reasons in part, the
breeding of the higher types of do
mestic animals may be put forward as
one of the best fields, if not the very
best, for capitai: provide I always that
the investments an i the management are
guided by the highest order of taste,
business tact and energy. It is not an
insurmountable barrier for a young man
with means and a taste that way, to say
that he is not acquainted with the busi
ness, because all lines of business
abound with experts, whose knowledge
can be successfully drawn from. Per
haps there is no class of business men
who can so well be relied upon to give
opinions and advice to beginners as
breeders of improved stock; and this,
too, without hope of pecuniary reward.
The beginner, if he wishes to master
the business in all its aspects, should
familiarize himself with the leading
atock literature, that referring to the
past as well as that relating to the pres
ent. The young men at the desk, or
behind the counter, having means, and
a taste for out-door pursuits, with an
especial liking for the business referred
to, may enter the field as safely as he
that has been reared with his hand upon
the handle of the plow. His means,
under proper advice can, as a rule, be
far more safely placed than in manu
facturing, or in any mercantile pursuit.
If he secures the best, whether cattle,
horses, sheep, or swine, he gets the ad
vantages of other men’s years of suc
cessful effort; whereas if he takes up
with the culls, he pays good money foi
other men’s mistakes and failures.—Na
tional Live Stock Journal.
A legend *f felegne
Adelheid Rlchmodus, wife of one of
the medieval senators who swayed the
destinies of Cologne, died, to all appear
ance, and w a« buried in the vaults of
the neighboring Apostelkircbe. It was
said that a valuable ring could not be
removed from her hand, and was con
sc<pjcntly interred with her. This ex
cited the cupidity of the sexton, who
csme at night to steal, and failing in his
eflbrts to loosen the ring, tried to sever
the finger. Blood flowed; the lady re
vived and sat up »n her coffin, to the
horror of the thief After the first para
lyzing shock of finding where she was she
passed through the gates he left open in
his flight, and. still wrapped in her wind
ing-sheet. knocked at her husband s
door. The servants, on looking out,
recognized her, and rushed terrified to
their master to sav they had seen her
fhost; but on calmer reflection, Adel
eid continuing to knock and beg plain
tively for admission, they concluded she
was alive, and said so. Richmodus de
clared the whole a trick of their imag
ination, and said be would as soon be
lieve his horses were transported to the
attics as that his wife lived. As ha
spoke, the clatter of hoofs above prov<*d
his incredulity rebuked by a miracle.
The door was opened to the shivering
lady, who told her story and was affec
tionately received, becoming “the joy
ful mother of children,’’ and dying in
reality at an advanced age. The horses’
heads carved in wood, painted one black
and one gray, still look from the top
window to convince the skeptic; and
the next street, Richmodstrasse, is
named after the much-enduring woman.
—I-ondon Society.
———<♦*
—Among the curious names collected
by a clerk in the sub-treasury at New
York, from drafts that have passed
through his hands in the course of
many years, are the following: Yard &
Furlong, Hoss & Carr, Sis & Bubb,
Black & Whiteside, Brown & Green,
Jacob Sheep, Lace Bird, John Duck,
John Pigg. To Bee, Jackson Bullfrog,
Jack Grasshopper, Frank Parsnip,
Caroline Hash, John Vinegar, William
Gammon, paw nbroker: H. Stiff, under
taker; Kloth, tailor; Doll, toy dealer.—
N. 1”. Sun.
—Sol Burgess, of Newborn, N. C.,
went out in :i skiff to haYe a picnic by
himself. While paddling along the
shore he caught a little alligator which
began to whistle. In a short time the
lagoon was tilled with its kindred. Sol
counted 401, big and little, aDd then
I scudded for home. The whole drove
followed him to the wharf.—Detroit
Post.
-4 ♦ ►
—It is observed ns a feature of tho
census that the number of people whose
ages are represented by even tens is
greatlv in excess of the number repre
| seated as of other ages. The number
j who are of ages that are multiples of
five is also large by comparison, and
i there are more people whose ages ap
pear as even numbers than odd.—C
cago News.
-«, , „
$500 RE WARD will be paid tor any case of
chills that Chillarinb will not cure. Try it.
A Captain who tied refractory sailors
to the capstan said it was the only way to
ease their rancor.—Boston Times.
8tartUn£ Weakness,
j General and nervous debility, impaired
| memory, lack of self-confidence, preina
! tnre loss of manly vigor and powers, are
| common results of youthful _ indiscretions
and pernicious practices. Victims whose
j manhood lias thus been wrecked should ad
dress, with three letter stamps, for large
, illustrated treatise giving means of perfect
cure, World’s Dispensary Medical As
! 60CIATI0N, Buffalo, N. Y.
American flats—Pancakes. — Cincinnati
Traveler.__
I recommend to those suffering with Hay.
1 Fever, Ely’s Cream Balm. I have tried
nearly all the remedies, and give this a
decided preference. It gave me immediate
i relief. C. T. Stephens, Hardware Mer
| ahant, Ithaca, N. Y. Price 50 cents.
There is a rumor from Germany that a
learned chemist has discovered a wonder
ful oil that will restore youth to old age,
I etc. It roust be a species of O-live oil.—
! Philadelphia Bulletin.
Woodbury, Md.—Rev. W. J. Johnson
says: “ I have used Brown’s Iron Bitters
in my family and they have proven •
splendid health invigorator.”
Skinny Men. “ Wells’ Health Renewer”
restores health and vigor, cures Dyspepsia.
A bicyclist who spends all his money
for a machine may truly be said to be
broken on the wheel.—N. Y. Graphic.
ii Dragging I’alns.’*
Dr. R. V. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y.: Dear
/Sir—My wife had suffered with “ female
weaknesses” for nearly three years. At
timer she could hardly move, she had such
dragging pains. We often saw your “Fa
vorite Prescription” advertised, but sup
posed like most patent medicines it did not
amount to any thing, but at last concluded
to try a bottle, which she did. It made her
sick at first, but it began to show its effect
in a marked improvement, and two bottles
cured her. Yours, etc., A. J. Huyck,
Deposit, N. Y.
Even the aljthabet is ruralizing. Only
four letters remain in “Town.”—N. Y.
Nevis. _
Iy your horses have sore shoulders,
scratches, cuts or open sores of any kind,
v«e Stewart's Healing Powder.
“ That is one of those restaurants,” said
a fussy man, who was asked if So-and-so’s
was a good place to get a meal, “ where
enterprise and skill are all centered in the
charges, and I alwavs expect to find on the
bills of fare this notice: ‘ Customers will
please report to the cashier any incivility
on the part of the waiters, and it will be
promptly added to the bill.’” Harper’s
Bazar. __
Generous to a fault—The owner of said
fault./e—Li. _ _
An Indian chief bears the name of
“Lookin'? Glass.” He is the terror of the
plain.—fronton Transcript.
“Yes,” said Miss Squigglehorn, “pa
was a professional man, as you have heard;
he used to draw very large houses.” [If.
B. “Pa” was a building mover.]—Boston
Transcript. _
An improbable story is properly called a
canard, because intelligent people canardly
believe it.—Pittsburgh Teleqraph.
A YOUNG miss of sixteen asks what is the
proper thing for her to do when she is sere
naded by a party of gentlemen at a late
hour. We are glad to be able to answer
this question. Steal softly down stairs and
untie the dog.—Rochester Post-Express.
It is certain that a river can not run
dry.—N. O. Picayune.
“Yes,” said the reporter, “I always
carry my copy in my hat.” “ I see,” re
plied Fogg, “ news in a.uutshell.”—Boston
Transcript.__
The man who drinks nothing but cistern
water is the man who leaves well enough
alone.—IV. Y. Journal
Bronson Alcott suffers from a sort of
aphasia, such as Emerson had in the last
years of his life, and can not find the words
he wishes to use. Aphasia, by the way,
doesn’t trouble a man when he jams his
thumb in a door.-*—Boston Post.
The Wall street sandwich—Bull on one
side, bear on the other, and a little laugh
in the Bid die.-Bum » Tramcrift.
A OaRPEv “waul”—A eat on the fsnoa.— |
Jf. T. Journal. _
Wft suffer longer from Catarrh, Hay
Farer. and Cold in the Head? A sura curs
la Ely’s Cream Balm. It is not a liquid or
inulf, and is easily applied. Fifty cent*.
The artesian well throws nplts water
because It has a spring bottom.—-V. U.
Picayune- _
Bcc*HA5!»or. TV. Va.—Drs. Newlnn ft
Blair report that Brown’s Don Bitters are
giving general satisfaction._
Bulletin. _#_
All recommend TVisa’s Axle Grease.
“ Buehu-paiha.” Complete cure, all aa
noying Kidney Diseases, irritation. *L
Rare injustice—Calling a man Captain
when he is a full-fledged General.—A. I.
Advertiser. m_
Dr. Pierce’s “ Pellets” or sugar-coated
grannies—the original “ little liver pill*,”
• beware of imitations)—cure sick and bil
♦ us headache, cleanse the stomach and
bowels, and purify the blood. To get genu
ine. see Dr. Pierce’s signature and portrait
on Government stamp. 25 cents per vial,
by druggists.
It’s rather funny, but most people begin
the day with the home stretch.—Boston
titar.
No hatter what your ailment is, Brown’s
Don Bitters will surely benefit you. Try it.
Wells’ “ Rough on Corns.” 15c. Ask for It.
Complete, permanent cure. Corns, hunio as,
A Sea-Captain is a good deal of a vaga
bond when he heats his way up a hartwr.
—Boston Times.
Coldsn’s Liquid Beef Tonle
1 Cures chills, fever, ague and weakness.
Colden’s, no other, of Druggists.
I.ros'8 Heel Stiffeners keep new boots and
■hoes straight. By shoe and hardware dealers.
“ Rough on Rats.” Clears out rats,mice,
flies, roaches, bed-bugs, ants, vermin. 15c.
Chrolithion Collars and Cuffs, when
thoroughly waterproof, feel as soft as vel
vet around the neck and wrists.
The farmer makes hay while the son
shines behind a dry-goods counter.—
liochester Tust-Express.
“ Mother Swan’s Worm Syrup,” for fey.
erishness, restlessness, worms. Tasteless.
Wise’s Axle Grease never gums.
"What will it do?
Brown’s Iron Bitters? Good for
what? Well, see what it has done.
To begin with dyspepsia. It has
cured some of the worst cases.
Then chills and fever. Who
wants to shake with cold and burn
with heat, when a bottle or two of
Brown’s Iron Bitters will drive the
source of the mischief away ?
How about rheumatism f It cured
Mr. Brashear, of Baltimore, and
hundreds of others.
Those dreadful nervous troubles.
Mr. Berlin, of Washington, the well
known Patent attorney, was entirely
| relieved by Brown’s Iron Bitters.
The ailments of the kidneys.—
Brown’s Iron Bitters cured Mr. Mon
tague, of Christiansburg, Va., and
an army of other sufferers.
Debility and languor. The Rev.
J. Marshall West, Lllicott City, Md.,
is one of the many clergymen re
stored by Brown’s Iron Bitters.
And as w ith vertigo, malaria, liver
complaint, and headache, Brown’s
Iron Bitters is the Great Family
Medicine. 3
DR. JOHN BULL’S
Sill’s ToBicSmi
FOR THE CURE OF
FEVER and AGUE
Or CHILLS and FEVER,
AND ALL MALARIAL DISEASES.
The proprietor of this celebrated medioiae
| justly claims for it a superiority over all re m
1 edies ever offered to the public for the SAFE,
I CERTAIN, SPEEDY and PERMANENT cure
■ cfAgueand Fever, or Chills and Fever, wheth
er of short or long standing. He refers to the
' entire Western and Southern country to bear
him testimony to the truth of the assertion
that in no case whatever will it fail to cure it'
the directions are strictly folio wed and carried
out. In a great many cases a single dose has
been sufficient for a care, and whole families
have been cared by a single bottle, with a per
fect restoration of the general health. It is,
however, prudent, and in every case more cer
tain to cure, if its use is continued in smaller
doses for a week or two after the disease has
been checked, more especially in difficult and
long-standing cases. Usually this medicine
will not require any aid to keep the bowels in
good order. 8honld the patient, however, re
quire a cathartic medicine, after having taken
three or four doses of the Tonic, a single dose
of BULL’S VEGETABLE FAMILY PILLS
will be sufficient. _
DR. JOHN BULL’S
SMITH S TONIC SYRUP,
BULL’S SARSAPARILLA,
BULL’S WORM DESTROYER.
The Popular Remedies of the Day.
Principal Office, 881 Main St., LOl lSVILLE, KT.
MAcre Mint.
From Bath. Me., we bin received. mVr ^ .
May IX MM the following statement of Grew
llsaaieoa. the popular proprietor of •’The RemZl
r»nf: • • A few year* elaee I we troubled »
with kidney and bladder affection that there was |-!!j
dual depoalu In my u Mae. and continual desire t0
ate. with severe, darting, sharp paint through huT
der and aide, and again, dull, heavy pressure T™
tedk.ua to endure. I consulted one of our reskkn
phyatrlana but I received no benefit from theVireZ
m. nt, and fearing that my aymptoma Indicated Brlgarl
Disease, the moat dreadful of all disease*. I
my mind that I moat obtain relief apccdliy or I wouU
be past core. I consulted my druggist, Mr. W, bba*
and after aacertlining my aymptoma, he recommended
the use of Hunt's Remedy, aa he knew of many success,
f ul cures effected by f list medicine In similar eases ber»
In Bath. I purchaacd a bottle, and l*forc I had nted
the Arm bottle I found I had received a great beneih
aa I suffered leas pain, my water became more nstnmi
and I l- gan to Improve so much that vne second bottjs
effected a complete cure; sn:l my thanks are doeto
Hunt's Remedy for restored health, and I eheerhriy
recommend this most valuable and ret!ah|« medlcln*
to my friends, aa I consider It a duty aa well as a i-lco*.
arc to do so."
BLACKSM ITUS’ TROUBLES.
Having had occasion to use a remedy for kldnes
troubles, I noticed an advertisement In one of the n,
pers of the remarkable cures that Hunt's Remedy hid
made all oyer the country. I purchased a home u one
of our druggists here In Mam heater, and after using h
fur a short time found that It waa helping me wonder
fnlly. and one botile has cured me completely-bare
no Indigestion, and am hearty and healthy for on- of
my years (65). and can truly say that Hunt's Remedy is
a medicine that loss real merit, and I do not hesitate to
recommend It to the public In general.
J. F. Woodbcrt,
36 Manchester Street, Manchester, X n.
May 7. 1»B3._
C AT A R R H ELrs ™ m
druggists. Ely Brothers, Owcgo, N. Y.
Fast Potato Digging!
Write Postal Card for Free Illustrated Cir
culars. Mention this paper. Address
Monarch Manufacturing Co., 183 Randolph St. Chicago. IIL
Hostr-tier's Siora
ilRVI LI I V R^acb niIler*- i«y is
H U ir.";
" Physical function*
regular and active,
keeps the system In
good working order,
and protect* It
against disease. For
constipation, dyspep
sia and liver com
plaint, nervousness,
kidney and rheum* tio
ailments. It Is Inxalu*
a»>le, and it afford* a
sure defense against
malarial fever*, l«e
K^sTowscH^g r;. .^."h
Btf H^BQCaSrom thesys' in. For
B B B BBdDialenfcDeiillri
^CHICAGO SCALE CO.
T 2 TOS WAflO* SCALE, #40. 3 TO*, fiO.
Ton §<S), ll«*am Hot Inc luded.
* 240 1b. FARMER'S SCALE, $5.,
The ‘Little Detective.'* V o*. to lb.
^ SOU OTHER SIZES. Redact PRIt K LIST HUE*
, FORGES. TOOLS. &c.
T IIFST FOUGK II ID, FOR LIMIT WORF, *10.
I 40 lb. An, II anil Kit iilTool,. #10.
1 Firmer. ...r Ilmr .ad moor. dole, odd JoFi.
-J Blower., Anvil*.. Vive, A Other Artie!©*
Fe»l LOWLST PKU Kg, W HULLS, LK * HOTAlio
- ----—
Uf.-i.J lMM| irdf'^mnle for new booh
Warned Ag6n»S “Uuiifatfranf America.*
Low in price. 50«* will • -curt* an oat fit and ag*ncy.
Addnm FOBHKK & McMAKIN. CuicissaTI, O.
make money selling our Family Med!
cines; no capital requir'd. Standard
Ci uk Co.. 1D7 Pearl St., New York.
•T A a tonperdavathoino. Samples worth £5
40 W 4ZU free AddressStiwbon dtCo. Portland. Me.
‘ EDUCATIONAL.
EDUCATIONAL.
1833. The NEW CALENDAR Of (he 1884.
NEW ENGLAND
CONSERVATORY of MUSIC
Beautifully Illustrated.64 paRENT FREE to
yourself an J musical friend*. Send names and ad iressei
to K. TOUBJRK. Fnnkl n 8q . Roetmt. Maas.
The Lnrg+it and b?<t app^intr l Muiic I i,*rarg capA
Art School, and HOME for young ladies in the uxnicL
The Hershey School of Musical Art,
H rdi«'y Music Hail. Chicago, I1L, af
fords the most thorough instruction in
ai! branches of Vocal and Instrumental
Music. Fall Term o»w-n* Sr. 12. 8 nd for circular.
l H. CLARENCE EDDY, General Director.
WWmiTMTTBW^gvai
, 8t. Louis. Mo. 700studenIs yearly. Graduate* successful
in getting employment. SEND FOR CIRCULAR*
j fdOULEGE PHYSICI ANSv-- srRi*KONS,CllICA(jO
V/Elegant building. Kxmrlcn. a Faculty. Low fee*,
i For catalogue addi cm D.K*Steklb, M.D., 1S01 State St.
LEARN TELEGRAPHY^«.b,,i®
J chance ever offered. Ad. J. D. bHOWN, Mgr.,Sedalla,Mo.
Business College, W$5!i«5Vr32
ffCfi A. WEEK in vour own town. Terms and
JJUU to outfit free. Addrs li.Hallett 4iCo..Purtland.Ma
Wirjndt irnr^awntc o.n. anywhere. Whole
sale^ ltetall. Price-list /Fee. Goods guaran
teed B.'\STRKHL. 157 Wabash-av..Chicago
M Sheets line writing paper in Blotter Tablet, with
calendar. *25 cents, by mail. Agents wanted.
Economy Printing Co.. Newbury port. Mpss
A WEEK. $13 a (lav at home easily matlo
Costly outfit free. Address True At Co„ Augusta. Me
And will completely change the blood in the entire eyetem in three months. Any person who will take ONE Pil.Is
EACH NIGHT FROM ONE TO TWELVE WEEKS, mey be restored to sound health, if such a thing be possible.
For curing Female Complaints these Pills ham no equal. Physicians use them in their practice. Sold everywhere, m
i»entby_ntanfor»t^itajnstamps__8CTdtorpeinphletL_£. s. JOHNSON A CO., Bonton, Mann.
LOVELY
COMPLEXIONS
POSSIBLE TO ALL.
What Nature denies to many
Art secnres to ali. Hagan’s
Magnolia Balm dispels every
blemish, overcomes Bedness,
Freckles, Sallotmess, Rough
ness, Tan, Eruptions and
Blotches, and removes all evi
dences of heat and excitement.
The Magnolia Balm imparts
the most delicate and natural
complexional tints—no detec
tion being possible to the clos
est observation.
Under these circumstances a
faulty complexion is li ttle short
of a crime. Magnolia Balm
gold everywhere. Costs only
75 cents, with fall directions.
dtsaaanWY
M CORES WHERE ALL EiSE FAILS.
PPI Brat Cough Syrup. Tastes good,
m 1 «*» In i.me. Sold by druggists.
.
nil rn‘ Anakesis"M
I iV i;„. 1 an inrullible cure f«»r Pile*.
mS 3 ■ ■■ Price ® 1 from diuggivot
% £il ^;.*T.mwTkE^
■ B Hi Hi “ M.kon, Box Sllii. New Yurfc
pltH^ACEWTS CLEAR »30 A DAY >«•' "*
BPj. W. Bucl i Thrilling Adventure! in Russia an<l
g^^^m Siberia. Be.nl uew boos out. toaititely owe
rella all other bookt. 600 pages. 200 illustrations. Out
fits only SO cents. Pictorial circulars free. A/4rfl tenm
to auenia. Secure territory AT ONCE. Address
HISTORICAL PUBLISHING CO., St. Louis, Mo.
Lady Agents 21,*£3525
and good salary selling Queen City
Mklrt and Stuck Ing Ksppvrtm, eta.
Sample outfit Free. Address (Juees
City WuspendrrC'o.,Cu»cinasti.O
BATCilTC NO PATENT, NO PAT!
rl 1 P I X N W. FITZGERALD, F.U.-M
■ ■ "■■ ■ ■ Ww Attorneys, Washington. D. C.
Full Instructions sud New Book on Patents sent free.
DPUCinilC Speedily procured: delayed cases com
rLflOlUnO;! ted. Lost Horse claims collected; no ad
vance fee, experience 18 yrs, reference#; wrl e for cir
cular.Col. A. w. McCobmick. Pike s Bidg. Cincinnati. O.
A N. K.. B. 0*0
WHEN W1UTING TO ADVERTISERS
pi.use »ay you u» the advertisement la
till! paper. AdvertiMr. Ilk. to know
when and wharo their adrertUoiuenM aae