L REAT FALLS TRIBUNE.
VOL, 2, GREAT FALLS, MONTANA TERRITORY, SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 20, 1886, NO 27
A TENDER EPISTLE.
Extract From a Tenderfoot's Letter to
the Old Folks at Home.
GREAT FALLS, Nov. 10, 1886
DEAR A-:
Your letter etc. Our hot weather is
over now and it has become nice and cool.
I am doing well here. 3My land will cost
me about $600. When the railroad gets
here it will be worth at least $2,000. I
have been living in another man's shack
for some time; but when he came bac- I
had to move out to the stable and bunk
with my cayuse, until a young English
man, who has taken up a ranch near me,
kindly invited me to live with him. I
thought if I bunked in with him I could
lie in bed mornings a.l take a snoonze
while he got breakf't. tand did house
work generally. But as minds of grnat
men perambuli'te the same meandering
streams, Johnnie Bull had the same idea.
So, as we lay in bed the first morning the
clock struck seven and finally the hands
reproachfully pointed to 7:30. But still
neither of us made a move. Then we
decided to rise unanimously. So we tried
the "one, two, three" racket, but that meth
od failed as ignominiously as it did at the
Sanders' rally in Great Falls, an account
of which I wrote you. After we had
united our feeble efforts in building a fire,
an animated discussion began, upon what
we should have for breakfast. At this
point I discovered that my chum had not
a great mind, for his did not run with
mine, on the same bill of fare. I wanted
bacon and potatoes, while he insisted, with
British tenacity, that he must have potatoes
and bacon. After the controversy had
nearly led to blows we .compromised by
preparing both dishes, bacon and potatoes
and potatoes and bacon. Afte our
bounteous morning repast each
went to his respective work.
When noon came I kept right on at work
thinking that the Englishman would go
home and get dinner. But when I went
over to the shack at about 1 o'clock I met
my'partner following up the same cue.
He had been quietly taking a rest in the
hay-stack waiting for me to take the initi
ative step towards getting dinner. Our I
menu i.. substantially the same as the
one -wh:ch we had for breakfast. As
neither of us would wash thre dishes, each
took the same outrit wh'ich he had for the
previous meal. Each tried to secure the
largest pii cs of bacon and potatoes. But
towards tiie end wve each, with comnrmenda
lie foresight, -:.w that there would be an
odd piece of "g'ub'" left. oi we began
stufung oarselv.-', each trying to eat faster
than the other to capture the coveted last
mouthful from the platter. But we both
reached the goal at the same time and
there was a general charge upon the sacri
fice. A war of words followed; one curs
ing in French verbs, the other in hug-latin.
Finally, an eight-cornered oath got tangled
in rv false teeth :med before I could ex
tricate it, lIer Majesty's subject had com
pleted the acquisition by conquest. At
night neither would build the fire. I said
I wasn't hungry; but he was. So he cook
ed his own bacon and potatoes for supper
and for fear that I would get some of the
crumbs, Johnnie Bull gorged himself to
such an extent that he lay awake half the
night with the colic. hIungry as I was,
that made me smile. My triumph was
complete. The next evening we heard
there was to be a prayer-meeting in town.
As my chum had never been and I never
went, we concluded to try it. My "spirit
ual" partner is one of the biggest rakes in
Northern Montana, so you can imagine my
surprise when he arose with becoming
gravity, and began a prayer. It proved to
be a very lengthy one, but beautifully
worded. I saw that he had committed it
to memory from some good book. But
when a venerable deacon sneezed as loud
as Gabriel's trumphetmy friend of the bo
gus piety, was moved to laughter and for
got his lines. But his gall with more con
stancy than his memory, staid with him,
until he surmounted all difliculities by
winding up with with a thundering amen,
which was taken up and re-echoed by
some of the sincere church people. Yes
terday, in driving down a steep butte our
cayuse fell flat. The Englishman jumped
out and sat on the horse's head to hold
him down while I watched the wagon.
But the plug would not recline. Up he
jumped, smashing the thrills into splinters 4
and throwing English onto some sharp i
rocks which terribly lacerated his best l
clothes. When we were returning to our I
"villa" a cow-boy ran against us and broke i
the whitlle tree. English and I held a
council of war, but the C. B. looked so brave c
and determined that we decided that we
would settle the matter by arbitration.
o This we did by treating him with silent
contempt. Such is life in the far west.
Yours as ever,
H.
CHESTNUTS.
Oh, what made the chimney sweep?
And why the codfish ball ?
t And why. oh why, did the peanut stand? a
s And what makes the evening call?
Oh, why should the baby farm?
And why does the muttou chop?
I Can you tell me what makes the elder blow?
Or what makes the ginger-pop? y
- Say, why does the trundle-bed spring?
And why does the saddle horse fly?
Or what mean cur mad- the pillow slip? A
And why does the soal boilers lye? o
What made the monkey wrench? o
Or why should the oid mill dam? c
And who did the -hoemakcrs strike? E
t Or why ditd the raspberry jam? ?
--Nu York Sun.
Oh, why does a metre never meet?
And why does'nt rhyme wear out? n
Hexameter old was written in feet; h
Modern verse must have the gout. e
Why, oh why, does he swear "the old mill?"
Small wonder the codfish ball:
Oh, why does the chestnut, a glided pill,
Htave no effect on the poet's gall?
In Bulgaria, a poet named Stovenoff, 3
wants to make that much troubled country e:
t a republic. If he's behind in his accounts el
and has'nt Stove em off, he can come to ,
t this country. Canada is next door. c<
"The Goddess of Liberty's torch has not w
been lighted since Saturday night."--Asso- U
; ciated Press Disp.tcl. F
Same old story. Saturday night torch
light processions seem to have just the tc
same effect in New York as out here. d,
The Helena Heratd devotes seventeen 0
lines to "How to Cross a Street Car Track," 8
1 and sums up by advising drivers of vehi- t(
cles to "cross at right angles." d
Why don't they do things methodically
t in the capital city and pass some such laws tl
as the following: n
I. Vehicles intending to cross a .treet E
car track will march parallel to the track st
1 to point of intended crossing.
II. At point of crossing a marker must -
be placed (whip-stock, pitchfork or other
convenient article may be used) and the
horse or horses, mule or mules command- m
ed "right" or "left wheel," aý the exigen- n:
cies of the case may demand.
III. Cross at right angle to track. ,
IV. A right angular cro-ing havingv
been effected, the animals mu t be again
directed with ri.ht angular and military
precisi an.
V. For and upon every violatin of I at
this law and conviction th.. l" ,. the off .- I
der, etc., etc. fe
Such rules as he above w uld show ,
congress we have hae s e style abot us in ' -
Montana and are jun:iy entitled to aimis- ill
sion to the sisterhood. th
During the recent election in Pulaski
county, Arl.aneaw, one of the township
ballot boxes, when brought to the county to
clerk's oiHle was found to be empty.
"how is this?" asked the clerk.
"Hfow is whatL" the man who had ac
brought the box replied.
"Why, there are no ballots in the box."
"They told me to bring the biox," the
fellow replied; "did'nt say nothing about
the tickets."-Arhoi sre Tci,'er.
Wedding Bells. of
The Daily Colenist. Victoria, B. C.,of Nov. mi
4th, contains an account of an important
society event in that place, viz: The Ei
marriage of Mr. John Fullerton to Miss "'
Annie Reid, second daughter of Rev. John gr
Reid, D. D., and a sister of the 1Rev. John ri
Reid of Great Falls. P1
of
Great Falls' Wants, fu
A shoemaker-one that don't want the sil
whole earth preferred. ne
A tailor. Em
A fire department. is
A daily mail. re;
A more prompt mail service. gu
A grip on bad Boswell, the barber. inl
A string on black-leg Burcz nski. to
A church or two. M:
A bridge. th
A public library. tei
ed
The Graders Are Comieg. su
It is announced that the graders are to tic
begin work at once at Great Falls, and dii
finish the road-way this fall ready for rails he
in the spring. This will throw a great deal wi
of money in circulation and enable every the
man in town to go to C. P. Thomson's and we
have a suit of clothes made to orderbythe tlu
fashionable St. -Louis tailoring house he we
represents. This house is no job lot house MI
such as are usually represented in this wa
country. if Li
e THE ACQUISITION OF LOUISIANA.
it Why France Ceded It to the United
States - Jeffersons Peaceful
Triumph.
Before continuing with Lewis and Clarke
in their dreary marches through the un
known wilderness of almost unexplored
country, it would be well to review from
"Blaine's Twenty Years in Congress" the
acquisition of the itst, unknown tract
then called Louisiana.
Mr. Blaine says in substance: A great
European struggle, which ended twelve
years before our Revolution began, had
wrought important changes in
the political situation of North
America. On one of the results
of the "seven years' weir" was the cession
of Florida to Great Britain by Spain in ex- I
change for the release of Cuba, which the
English and colonial forces had wrested
from Spanish authority, the preceding r
year.
England held Florida for twenty years,
when among the disasters brought upon
her by our own revolution, was its retro
cession to Spain in 1783. France gave up
Canada and Cape Breton, acknowledged F
the sovereignty of Great Britain in the or
iginal thirteen colonies as extending to the 1
Mississippi, and by a separate treaty, sur
rendered Louisiana. on the west side of the
Mississiipi, with New Orleans, on the c
east, to Spain. This country, which the
effeminate Louis XV surrendered to Spain,
was of vast but indefinite extent. Spain
continued in possession of it until 1800,
when through the diplomacy of Bonaparte,
the entire territory was retroceded to
France.
The formal transfer of so great a terri
tory on a distant continent, was necessarily
delayed, and, before the Captain-General a
of France reached New Orleans in 1803, a
Spanish authorities had become so odious
to the inhabitants that there was ccnstant
danger of open revolt.
Senator Ross of Pennsylvania, moved in
the United States' senate, that the govern
ment be instructed to seize New Orleans.
Bcit the prudence of president Jefferson re
strained every movement that might in- c'
volve us in a war with Spain. Meanwhiler
ir. Robt. R. Livingksi, our minister at e;
Paris, was pressing the French govern
nient for concessions touching the free
navigatiou of the Mississippi. Mr. Liv
ing_-ton wa.s re-enforced by Mr. Monroe,
sent out as special envoy by president Jef- a
ferson. The instructions of Mr. Madison, l
then Cer tarv of state, to Mr. Monroe, I
show that the utmost he expected was to 0
acquire from France the city of New Or
lean- and the Floridas. Though Mr. Jef
ferson oid not ku, w the terms of the treaty a
between France and Spain, he knew in- tL
stinctively that they deeply concerned the
interests of our country- lie saw that by n:
the eo:nnercial disability upon the western
=ecti.n of the country its progress would
be imp. ded. He determined, therefore, ti
to acquire the control of the left bank of ]
the Mississippi to its mouth, and by the ti
purchase of the Floridas to give to Goorgia
and tlhe Mississippi territory, unobstructed
access to the Gulf.
But ev-ent. beyond tlhe ocean were work
ing more rapid!y for the interest of the
t nited States than any inlluences which
the gov..riment itseli could exert. Before
Mr. Mon:oe reached France in the spring
of 1i03, another war cloud of portentious
magnitude, was hanging over Europe.
t Fearing, that in the threatened conflict,
England, by her superior naval force,
would deprive him of Loui.-iana and thus
greatly enhance her strength on the Ame
lrican continent, Bonaparte, by a brilliant
plom tic strok', placed it beyond the reach
of British power. He said "I know the
full value of Louisiana, and have b'en de
sirous of repairing the fault of the French
negotiators who lost it in 1763. But the
English wish to talte possession of it, and it
is thus they will begin the war. They al
ready, have twenty ships of the'line in the
gulf of Mexico. The conquest of Louis
iana would be easy. I have not a moment
to lose in putting it out of their reach."
Itr. Monroe and Mr. Livingston had no au
thority to negotiate for so vast an extent of
territory; but the former was fully possess
ed of president Jefferson's views on the
subject and he felt assured that his instruc
tions would have been ample if the con
dition of France had been foreseen when
he sailed from America. Communication
Swith Washington was impossible. Under
the most favorable circumstances an ans
wer could not be expected in less than
three months. By that time British ships
would probably hold the mouths of the
Mississippi, and the flag of St. George be
waving over New Orleans. Monroe and
Livingston both realized that hesitation
would be fatal, and they boldly took the
responsibility of purchasing a territory of
d unknown but prodigious extent, and of
pledging the credit of the government for
a 'um which, rated by the ability to pay,
e was larger than a similar pledge today for t
five hundred millions of dollars.
d The price agreed upon was eleven mil- t
n lion, two hundred and fifty thousand dol
e lars in six per cent United States bonds, I
t the interest of which was made payable in n
London, Amsterdam and Paris, and the t
t principal at the treasury at Washington. a
In a separate treaty the United States d
agreed to pay twenty million francs ad- p
ditional, to be applied by France to the n
satisfaction of certain claims owed to a
American citizens. Thus the total cost of
Louisiana was, in round numbers, fifteen q
millions of dollars. b
No difficulty was experienced in putting ,
the United States in possession of the ter
ritory and of its chief emporium, New Or
leans. The French government has re
garded the possession of so much conse- m
quence, that Bernadotte, afterwards King
of Sweden, was at one time, gazetted as r.
Captain-General; and, some obstacles su
per-vening, General Victor, afterwards
marshal of France, was named in his stead. in
But all these plans were brushed aside by fc
one stroke of Bonaparte's pen; :nd the ti
United States, in consequence of ,favoring th
circumstances, and the bold and compe- be
tent statesmanship of Jefferson, obtained a b
territory larger in area than that which was at
wrested from the British Crown by the th
Revolutionary war. ot
The country thus acquired forms today,
the states of Louisiana, Arkansas, Missou- to
ri, Iowa, Kansas, Nebraska, Minnesota, is
west of the Mississippi, Colorado north of m
the Arkansas, besides the Indian Territory iti
and the territories of Dakota, Wyoming
and Montana. Texas was also included in le
the transfer but Oregon was not. The ne
Louisiana purchase did not extend beyond th
the main range of the Rocky mountains, cc
and our title to that large area which is of
included in the state of Oregon and the
territories of Washingori and Idaho, was te
claimed first, by the right of original dis- th
covery of the Columbia river by an Ame- ex
rlcan navigator in 1792, second, by original be
exploration in 1805; third by original set- cf
tlement in 1810 by the company fitted out ii
by John Jacob Astor and lastly and
principally, by the transfer of the Spanish
title in 1819. Mr. Blaine adds that it is cu
not probable that we should have been t
able to maintain our title to Oregon if the
intervening country had not been previ- a
ously secured. IIe says that the acquisit
ion of Loui iaua brought incalculable
wealth, power, and prestige to the Union, t
and must always be regarded as the mas
ter-stroke of policy which advanced the
United States from a comparatively feeblei
nation, to a continual power of assured
strength and boundless pronfise. It was
to obtain a more accurate knowledge of co'
this vast region c:dled Louiuiana, of its to- sr
pography and resources, that the expedi- ere
tion, under Lewis and Clarke '.v, fitted a
out by president Jefferson. hlit
1 The Elly-Vater.
Jim McKittrick was an old-timer, a
prospector and miner of early dlay. For
years he had dodged and fought shy f
the civilizing intluences of cities, confiu- c
ing himself to the mountains.
At last when it became necessary to se
cure financial aid for one of his miuling
schemes, he was forced to visit IIelena.
His friend put up at one of the fashiona- I
able hostelries and there the miner sought 1
him. The urbane clerk gave Jim in charge r
of a bell boy who escorted him to the ele
t vator. Up went the mountaineer, and in I
a few moments he descended, his friend c
not being in.
"Say, mister," enquired our worthy,
"what d'ye call that fixin'?" I
"My dear sir," answered the clerk, a
'"that's an elevator."
"An elly-vayter," mused Jim. "Has it i
got a rope fast to it to hist with?" t
"Yes sir, a wire rope." I
t "Supposin' that rope broke," queried the I
searcher after truth. f
The clerk explained in detail the whole
arrangement of it, dilated upon the latest t
improvements, air wells, compressed air I
etc., and supposed he had convinced his, r
hearer of its perfect safety.
Jim looked at his informant with doubt
ful gaze and replied:
'.That's all right about pressed air an'
sich, but for histing up an' down, gimme
an old fashioned bucket, a stout rope, as
stanch win'lass an' a pardner on top ye kin s
trust." t
And as he shot out of the door he c
added: c
"Don't want none of your durned elly- '
vayter in mine." 1
e THE MANLY ART OF SELF DEFENCE
f Written for the Tribune:
r For some years the noble art of self
defence has lost its popularity owing to
the bad element which has crept in.
England, of all modern countries, has been
the great centre for the prize ring.
The best blood of the land
habitually attended the scenes of well
matched glove contests. But, after a time
the hue and cry was raised that the ring
and boxing in general, was brutalizing and
demoralizing. As a last measure to sup
press it, an act of parliament was passed,
making its public practice unlawful. But,
although a law was passed against it, it
was still tolerated. As a natural conse
quence scenes and places pertaining to it
began to be shunned by law-abiding peo
ple, arid the good element generally, drop
ped out.
Be this as it may, the intrinsic merits of
the gcience caught public attention once
more and brought it slowly back from the
verge of oblivion to place it in the highest
rank as an exciting, manly spo}End'health
giving exercise. Its present unparalleled
Iopularity may be fully attested by refer
ing to the innumerablle schools and clubs
for its promotion which have arisen
throughout the country, pheouix like from
the ashes of its previous ill savor. The
best colleges in our land have not been
backward in seeing the merits of the.case
and Harvard and Yale are today taking
the lead in this work as well as in their
other departments of study.
Some would ask what claim has boxing
to popular consideration? That question
is best answered by describing in brief the
manifold advantages to be derived from
its practice.
Lord Chesterfield in one of his notable
letters to his son said that although it was
never gentlemanly to knock a man down,
there were times when no gentleman
could help doing it. Such times do not
often occur, however.
The cery best medical authorities of this
generation consider sparring to be
the most beneficial of indoor
exercises Every muscle of the
bodies from the tips of the toes to the crown
of the head is thoroughly exercised in a
lively bout with the gloves.
Of few, if any, of the multifarious oc
cupations and pastimes of life can this be
said. So right h re we can truthfully say
that nothing tends to give full proportion
and symmetry to the human frame better
than sparring. Look at the beautiful, clear
cut, tlowing lines of the body and limbs of
a well-trained boxer! This graceful con
tour, erect carriage, beautiful proportion
of one part to another, and manly, self-re
liant bearing is only attained by careful
and frequent practice with the gloves.
Although it takes years of practice to ac
complish the wonderful feats of skill and
strength exhibited by our most noted box
ers, yet any man can learn a great deal in
a few months that will be of great use to
him, to say nothing of the imhnproved per
sonal appearance, agility, health, tone, vig
or and power of endurance that he will
g:ain. His lungs will become larger, his
wind longer, his heart more vigorous, his
ability to endure fatigue greater, his per
ceptive faculties keener, his thinking pow
ers more active, his self-confidence more
assured (but mere self-confidence does not
imply that abomnable thing-self-conceit)
and he will, by gaining these valuable
blessings, be able to enjoy life better and
look on the bright side of things even when
misfortune overtakes him.
Some people run off with the idea that
boxing requires no skill, tact, observation
or special reasoning power; but this is
wrong, and in conclusion we quote a few
words on this point from the lips of Prof.
E. F. Shaw, late professor of the manly
art at Harvard. He says, "Most exercises,
after a time, become mechanical; we can
indulge in them and at the same time be
thinking or fretting about other matters.
Hence, we can readily understand why
boxing is preferable to almost any other
form of exercise, because it actually com
pels one to forget for the timebeing every
thing but the wholesome occupation of
both body and mind, or receive punish
ment at his opponent's hands."
F. P.
Thanksgiving Day.
In the afternoon of Thanksgiving Day
an elaborate, dinner will be spread
at the Park Hotel, and in the evening
there will be a grand ball and supper; all
of which should receive the patronage of
our citizens. The menu for the dinner
will be the finest ever set before the peo
ple of Northern Montana.